Olive/Daryl: I think I’m Daryl. Yeah, hi, it’s me. Hi, it’s Daryl. You’re listening to Portal Quandary. Check out the episode description. You know, there’s some things in here that aren’t age appropriate, so give them a read and make sure that you’re safe. 

[Soft, ethereal music plays. Rain can be heard]

Tyrone/Babe: “Quick, quick, the drizzle’s just setting in,” 

Rosie/Pookie: Cautions Babe, who still smells like a warm summer day in this horrid rain. 

Tyrone/Dickhead: “I don’t want to sleep on a wet mattress just as much as you do Babe.” 

Rosie/Pookie: Replies Dickhead, smelling of dirt and smiles. I’m quite unsure of what he’s smiling about though. They’re moving the bed into some stranger’s house. The bed. You know, that thing I curl up on every night before the zoomies set in. How ever am I going to get comfortable in a place like this? Em hardly seems to care either. She’s happily pulling all of her toys out of this cardboard box and into this strange room that’s certainly not her room. Oh, the box is empty though. Perhaps I shall just get nice and snug inside.

[thunder]

Rosie/Pookie: What was that!? Em, come quick! We must investigate this loud noise. This house is terribly haunted. Must we stay here? Let’s just slip past Babe and Dickhead while they’re still moving in the bed. They have their priorities all wrong, honestly.

Tyrone/Em: “Pookie!”

Rosie/Pookie: Yes, Em, come quick! The noise came from outside here! You’re entirely too slow, girl. I’ll hurry on ahead to scratch.

[thunder]

Rosie/Pookie: Oh my goodness! This is awfully exciting and terrifying. Em! Are you seeing this Em? Hurry, hurry. Em! Em? Now where has that girl gotten off to? Can’t keep up to save her life. I really must find her before she loses her way. She needs me by her side at all times or I’m afraid she would simply perish. Now where am I? Darn it all of these houses. Why are we in this strange neighbourhood? I’d really rather like to be home now please? Come on Em, come out now. I want to go home. Please. [meows].

Theme Song: [rock music plays] Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hello! Welcome back to Portal Quandary Atrius, we’re in the double digits baby! Episode ten. One-oh. 

Rosie/Pookie: Woo!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No better way to celebrate episode ten but than by levelling up to half of ten. Five. Level five. 

Rosie/Pookie: Why can't we level up to ten?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s not how it works. Anyway It’s time to chill out it's time for the weekend it's time for little sleepovers between Indigo and Pookie.

Jorja/Indigo: Let's go.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m gonna get so snuggly.

[piano music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What’s going on in Indigo's room?

Jorja/Indigo: She's gonna move all of her clothes off of her bed. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No no mums washed them and folded them.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh thank god. She’ll just explain the room to Pookie then, I guess. You know, like MTV cribs?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: She’ll be like, “So, this is my bed. I keep some instruments there and then like we have another music room but yeah that's that's it.”

Rosie/Pookie: Pookie is going to, of no will of their own, start walking around the room sniffing things. I’m gonna jump up onto, was it a TV counter thing?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, sure.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah. Is there anything on it?

Jorja/Indigo: I feel like she would have a TV in her room. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah any like little tid bits hanging around like just sitting on it?

Jorja/Indigo: [sighs] I wanna say no, but there would definitely be little trinkets that her mum has put in her room for her.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, very cute. So Pookie again of no will of their own is just going to realise that this isn't where those trinkets should be. It's just not quite right there, and is going to very slowly slide them off the counter. With a little paw staring at Indigo.

Jorja/Indigo: I will just Mage Hand underneath them.

Rosie/Pookie: Completely oblivious to this I'm going to continue to walk around the room sniffing things out and then start, again completely against my will, kneading the pillow, relentlessly drooling and purring and then curling up.

Jorja/Indigo: I regret this.

[laughing] 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Cute.

Rosie/Pookie: I'm slow blinking, staring at you.

[Laughter]

Jorja/Indigo: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you guys leveled up.

Jorja/Indigo: Yippee.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What sort of things did you get Pookie?

Rosie/Pookie: Oooo, so Pookie can open doors now. Yeah so Pookie got a little bit of Mage Hand, which we did have a debate about whether or not it's a hand or a paw. I think it's a hand.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think it's a hand.

Rosie/Pookie: Thank you.

Steven/Andres: I think it's a paw, but whatever.

Olive/Daryl: No it's not.

Jorja/Indigo: I think it's a hand.

Olive/Daryl: I don't think it's a paw but what if it were a tail?

Rosie/Pookie: Well then what's the point I still can't open doors?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah but the tail would be kinda cool.

Jorja/Indigo: The spell says ‘floating hand.’

Olive/Daryl: Oh, but.

[Laughter]

Olive/Daryl: Killing my creativity over here.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah so Pookie got a little bit of a hand, so now I can open doors, and is also super, super, super speedy now, and is going to dash around everywhere. So yeah, it's going to be a really fun time trying to keep track of where I am with my little speedy little paws running around. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What about you Indigo?

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo multiclassed into Rogue.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: [gasps] What.

Rosie/Pookie: Gasp.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep. Some of her stats are much better; she can do more things with weapons.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, yeah fair.

Jorja/Indigo: I didn't know that was a thing that Rogues get, but there’s like little special moves, and she gets sneak attack.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sneak attack.

Jorja/Indigo: Sneak attack.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you're just like really good at everything now.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep. It’s kind of fucked up. [laughs]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jorja got expertise from Bard and from Rogue and its fucked up.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep. Its Deception, Investigation, Persuasion, and Stealth. [laughs] Can you tell what I'm going to do?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No. Anything else happening with this sleepover? 

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo will probably play some music at some point. She just might- Because I feel like she's probably got a guitar in her room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You're gonna play guitar?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah she’ll probably sit there and play guitar for a little bit.

[guitar plays]

Jorja/Indigo: Make sure Pookie is comfortable and has milk.

Rosie/Pookie: Can I play the guitar?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it your guitar?

Jorja/Indigo: I'm assuming there's like six in the house.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fair.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah she’ll teach Pookie how to play guitar with her Mage Hand.

[laughter]

Rosie/Pookie: I'm getting really good at Mage Hand after not having it for very long. It's such a newfound power having hands. I think part of what I'm going to do is I’m going to walk around the house with my Mage Hand out. I'm going to open every single door and leave it wide open, and I'm going to be taking things from the pantry from high up and putting them down on lower shelves and trying to twist them open with my little hand to eat them.

Jorja/Indigo: I'll be following her, closing all the doors and putting everything back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You're gonna be asleep and at 2am and just hear the piano. loud piano key bashing] 

[laughter] 

Rosie/Pookie: Oh one hundred percent. Once you go to sleep, the zoomies are coming out.

Jorja/Indigo: I will lock you in that room.

Rosie/Pookie: You can't. I have Mage Hand.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, but you can't lockpick my locks.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, it sounds like bed time is very peaceful over here.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: It's pretty, it's pretty cute. It's pretty much just like, you know, we’re gonna hang out, and we're mostly just gonna sleep and open doors.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep, my favourite thing to do.

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sleep and open doors?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Speaking of going to sleep. Daryl? Hi.

Olive/Daryl: Oh yeah, hello.

[music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How are you doing?

Olive/Daryl: I’m doing rather well, how are you?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Doing fantastic, thank you.

Olive/Daryl: Oh that's amazing to hear, mate.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, I assume you've just driven home after having an awkward drive with Andres?

Olive/Daryl: Oh yes, yeah, yeah. No, I do feel rather terrible about that to be completely honest, but I mean it’s something I’ll have to address when I see Andres next, but I know that when I'm going home, it's home time, and I can put the worries of the day behind me and go in and see my lovely family if they are still awake. What time would it be by the time I’m arriving?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Mmmm what time is it? Nine o’clock?

Olive/Daryl: Nine o’clock? Oh yeah, yeah they should they should… Someone should still be awake, and I'll go in and see my wife and say hello and catch up on her day and what she's been up to and let her in on some of the things that have been going on with this new kind of lifestyle that I’m going on about and…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, she knows everything about the organisation?

Olive/Daryl: Uhhhhhhhhhh nnnnnnnn. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What does she know?

[laughter]

Olive/Daryl: Well she knows that I've been a little bit bored as of late, so I've needed something to kind of keep me stimulated, keep me going, keep my mind active.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Mmhmm.

Olive/Daryl: So, I've told her that I’ve gone out and I'm doing some work for some individuals. Some investigative skills are required for this job and that I'm looking into it, but as far as sharing goes: very much like it was when I was on the police force. Not all information is shared, and this is a boundary that is respected between the both of us, and she does a lot of work for a lot of charities and organisations, and though I am very interested to hear about the work she is doing, a lot of it needs to be, you know, kept under hush hush, under wraps, because you don't want to let anything out too soon, and me - knowing me - I'm a big talker. I cant. No steel trap up here. It's all blah, blah, blah, blah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you tell her that you went to Lambence?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I will tell her that we went to Lambence. I’ll tell her that we saw the city and explain the environment and the people that we saw there and the chaos that happened with the manticores and let her know that there's been a bit of an issue, and we'll discuss that for a little while and yeah. Anything that my wife has to share with me?

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Are you…? That sounds awfully scary doesn't it? Are you alright?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yeah, well I mean it was a little scary, to be honest. It was a little off putting, you know. This job, I knew it would come with some dangers, but I wasn't sure that it was going to put me into harm's way so immediately, but you know the group that I was with, we managed to keep our heads and took cover and  kept low, and eventually it passed, and we were able to escape with some with some other civilians, and everyone for the most part was safe.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I really wish we were able to go and see the city, but I guess it's going to stay closed for a while. I watched the whole thing on the news. It's absolutely awful.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, no it's not particularly good. I mean good for publicity I suppose, but I don't think they’ll be reopening anytime soon, but you know what though? When they are, and granted that potentially everything is safe - I suppose we'll find out - but when they are, you and me and the kids and the little grandkids too, were gonna go take a family trip. We’re gonna go see it. I'll show you around.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Oh, I can’t wait to see it. I can't believe all of the beautiful things you saw.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I would love to go and see that library. All those beautiful books I would love to go and see the king and the tea. Oh, I love a good tea.”

Olive/Daryl: “The tea was pretty good. I can't say too much about the library, though. It was a little underwhelming to be honest.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “That's unfortunate. Oh, something I almost forgot. I got invited to one of those charity balls so I'll be busy. I'll be out next saturday night.”

Olive/Daryl: “Next Saturday night. Alright, let me just pop that down here. Alright, the charity event… Do you need me to take care of the kids?” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “The forty-three year old and the thirty-six year old?” 

[laughter] 

Olive/Daryl: “No, no, no, no. Well, I mean they're not kids. They’re not children. When I say kids I mean the grandkids, you know. They're like - well, I mean - they're kinda like my kids. With my daughter working a lot I would have to take care of them.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Oh, it's alright, it's the weekend. She just works Monday to Friday. It's alright.” 

Olive/Daryl: “Ah yes.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “But yes we will get to catch up with them all tomorrow with our, you know, our Sunday barbeques.” 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes of course, of course, of course. Oh, I might need to do a bit of shopping for that actually.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Oh what? I’ve got all the things in the fridge.” 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh! When did you do that?”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “While you were out today I had some free time.”

Olive/Daryl: “My gosh you’re so beautiful.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I just got the regular amount, right? So it's just gonna be what five grandkids, two kids plus us two?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh well, I mean I may have thrown an invitation out to a few colleagues.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Oh, so we’re going to get to meet some of your colleagues?”

Olive/Daryl: “I suppose so, yes. Assuming that that is all alright? we didn't have anything major?”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Well, I will just have to go out tomorrow and buy some more. Who are we expecting?” 

Olive/Daryl: “So, we've got the lovely Andres. A very nice gentleman. He's just finishing up with his studies now.”

Steven/Andres: I just started another degree.

Olive/Daryl: “Well, he's finished up with one degree and is starting another one. And then we've got… Who do I start with? There’s Indigo. Nice lass. I’m not really sure one hundred percent what it is that she does. Very closed, withdrawn, but a nice girl.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “A good heart.” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Well I’ll get to know them all tomorrow.”

Olive/Daryl: “Of course, of course, and then there's the cat.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Right.”

Olive/Daryl: “The cat's name is Pookie.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay…” 

Olive/Daryl: “And…”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Who owns.. whose cat?” 

Olive/Daryl: “Family's cat.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Whose family?” 

Olive/Daryl: “That's the question on everyone's lips.” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay so you just hang out with this cat?”

Olive/Daryl: “She’s a cat that talks.” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay, I understand.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, It's an odd gang, but they're a good bunch. I like them quite much.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay, nobody else?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes, and my boss. I suppose you could say my boss.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “Okay. I’ll put on my Sunday best.”

Olive/Daryl: “Don't even worry, it’ll be fine. It'll be nice and relaxed, and we're all just gonna have a nice time. It's our Sunday barbeque, and they are our guests, so we will treat them accordingly, but this is our home.” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I'll look forward to it. There's some left overs in the fridge if you haven't eaten yet.” 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh my darling, thank you so much.” 

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I’m gonna do the crossword in the next room.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ooo, let me know if there’s any tricky ones.”

Tyrone/Lorainne: “I'll call out to you for sure.

Olive/Daryl: “I'm sure you won't.” 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Before we move over to Andres. You levelled up to level five. I know Fighters are very exciting. 

Olive/Daryl: Yeah! I can punch people twice now! 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You could get through that wall in one turn now.

Olive/Daryl: I could, I really could if I wanted to. If I wanted to enough, I could get through that wall in one go, but for level five that was about it. Just the extra attack. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just beefier. You got some extra health. 

Olive/Daryl: Beefy. Got some extra HP ready to get into some mischief. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Interesting… Andres. 

Steven/Andres: Yeah. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hi. 

Steven/Andres: Well hi.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don't think you're going to sleep yet you've got a party at your house.

[electronic music]

Steven/Andres: Yeah, apparently it starts at nine pm. What an early party. Must be lame.

Jorja/Indigo: It's your house. 

Steven/Andres: Yeah, it must be lame. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You walk in and there's probably thirty people in your house. Yes. I believe if you open the door, you'll come in contact with James, your wonderful housemate. 

Tyrone/James: “Heyyyy Andresssss!”

Steven/Andres: “Gday mate, it sounds like you've already had a few.”

Tyrone/James: “Just a couple. Shhhhh.”

Steven/Andres: “Don’t worry mate, I wont tell anyone.”

Tyrone/James: “We've got punch in the kitchen. Grab a ladle.” 

Steven/Andres: “Delicious.”

Tyrone/James: “Yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “We’re drinking by the ladle, I like it.” 

Tyrone/James: “Yep, playing pool out the back.”

Steven/Andres: “Have you have liquor or something? I gotta do shots, I gotta catch up.”

Tyrone/James: “You don't have any drinks?”

Steven/Andres: “Nah.”

Tyrone/James: “What the fuck mate?”

Steven/Andres: “I've been working all day.”

Tyrone/James: “You got a second job? I was going to say that the cafe’s not open.”

Steven/Andres: “Nah, I got a second job.” 

Tyrone/James: “Oh shit.” 

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, I can't tell you though I’d have to kill you.”

Tyrone/James: “Uh.” 

Steven/Andres: “And I will.” 

Tyrone/James: “Oh… yep sure.” 

[laughter] 

Tyrone/James: “Yeah, we got some vodka. I guess you can have whatever's left.”

Steven/Andres: “Awesome.” 

Tyrone/James: “Let's do shots.”

Steven/Andres: “Let's do shots of vodka.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We’re doing shots. 

Steven/Andres: Andres partakes in one shot. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Partakes in one shot? Do you partake in any party games?

Steven/Andres: Sure, lets go fuck the bus or kings cup.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Well, Karlee loves a good kings cup. She did say that last time. 

Steven/Andres: True. Alright, Karlee and I are going to get a king’s cup game going. 

Tyrone/Karlee: “I told you, this is where I get all of my excitement. King’s cup.”

Steven/Andres: Yeah, she was a bit like that, wasn’t she?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Tyrone/Karlee: “I got the king, but I don’t really want to drink it.”

Steven/Andres: “Drink it! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!”

Tyrone/Karlee: “Andres, I think that you should drink it.”

Steven/Andres: “Ah, no. That’s gross.”

Tyrone/Karlee: “Fine.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She sculls.

Steven/Andres: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay. Several hours go by until two am?

Steven/Andres: What time did we decide? I need to make sure that I get a long rest in.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You need at least six hours of sleep, and then an eight hour rest?

Steven/Andres: Yep, so I have to have stopped partying by twelve and be chilling by twelve until two.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, it’s twelve am.

Steven/Andres: Okay, I’m going to stop drinking and probably find a quiet corner - as quiet as can be in a party house - and chill. Scroll on my phone, bring out the Japanese Book For Dummies. If anyone’s comes up to talk to me, I’ll engage in conversation but won’t go out to drink anymore because I want the long rest.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Everyone thinks that you’re crashing out. They’re like, ‘Just give them a minute. They’re trying not to vomit.’

[darker synth music plays]

Tyrone/Celestor: “Andres.”

Steven/Andres: I’ll look around the room. Do I see anyone?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, but you feel a nice, icy-cold hand.

Steven/Andres: Well! Time to go to my room!

Tyrone/James: “See you Andres!”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, goodnight all!”

Tyrone/James: “You had a bit too much too quick.”

Steven/Andres: “Yep, that’s me.”

Tyrone/James: “Bleh!”

Steven/Andres: “Bleh! Party animal!”

Tyrone/James: “See you. Bleh!”

Steven/Andres: “Bleh!” I close the door.

Rosie/Pookie: I hate that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can hear the party going on in the other room.

Steven/Andres: That’s fine. I’ve fallen asleep to louder.

Tyrone/Celestor: “Andres.”

Steven/Andres: I still can’t understand her, can I?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, you can understand your name, but yeah.

Steven/Andres: Yeah. “Celestor, is that you? What’s up?”

Tyrone/Celestor: “You’ve done good.”

Steven/Andres: “I know, I did pretty good, didn’t I?”

Tyrone/Celestor: “You brought me lots of delicious souls.”

Steven/Andres: “You’re welcome.”

Tyrone/Celestor: “I’ve left you a little something on your bed.”

Steven/Andres: “Ooo, what is it?”

Tyrone/Celestor: “Just a reward. You can have more if you bring me even more.”

Steven/Andres: What is it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you run over? You’re like, ‘Ooo!’

Steven/Andres: Yeah! 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a bracelet. It’s a metal bracelet. It’s got a cold, metal, iron look to it.

Steven/Andres: “Ooo, what does it do?”

Tyrone/Celestor: “Just put your hand here just on your wrist. Touch it right there.”

Steven/Andres: I touch it right there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From the outside of the wrist springs this big, icy, semi-transparent shield.

[ice crackles]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Congratulations, I’ve given you a shield because you haven’t been given armour for ten episodes.

Steven/Andres: Thank god.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It works as a shield. The only difference is it is retractable, so it’s a bonus action to activate and deactivate. 

Steven/Andres: Okay, what are we calling it? Bracelet shield.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, whatever you want to call it, babes.

Steven/Andres: ‘Go, go bracelet shield!’

Tyrone/Celestor: “This will help you protect yourself while you’re out there getting me more souls.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, that’s awesome, and you’re welcome.”

Tyrone/Celestor: “You’re welcome as well. You keep doing the good work for me and you get all of this beautiful power that I bestow upon you.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah. yes mum.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Andres, you’ve levelled up.

Steven/Andres: I did level up.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Which of your two classes did you level up?

Steven/Andres: So, I took another level in Cleric, so now I’m a level two Cleric. It’s given me a Channel Divinity of - I think it’s just the normal one - Turn undead, and then I also have Grave Domain Cleric Channel Divinity as well, and I got one more spell.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And, do you want to talk about those, or do you want to keep them secret?

Steven/Andres: I want to keep it a secret.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Beautiful. I believe you pass out on your bed?

Steven/Andres: Yep, hopefully before two am. 

[upbeat music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Goodmorning everyone.

Rosie/Pookie + Jorja/Indigo: Morning!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You guys didn’t really talk about it, so I don’t know if carpooling or anything is happening. I don’t know if Daryl is just showing up on Andres’s doorstep or something.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m a cat, so I’ll probably just rely on somebody else to figure it all out for me.

Jorja/Indigo: Do I know Daryl’s address?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t think so because… Yeah, no.

Olive/Daryl: I feel like at this point Daryl would wake up in the morning, get himself a coffee, he’d go and sit down, and - I don’t know if it’s too cliche but - he’d get the newspaper, and he’d be flipping it over and reading it. Just going along, and then it would hit him and he would go, “Oh, what is happening today? Let me find out,” and he’ll take his phone out, and he’ll text Andres. We would have exchanged numbers, right?

Steven/Andres: Would we?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Up to you. You haven’t said it in the podcast, but you have walkie-talkies.

Olive/Daryl: I feel like in the down times…

Steven/Andres: We do have walkie-talkies.

Olive/Daryl: We do have walkie-talkies. I’ll take out the radio, and I’ll click onto the right channel. *radio* “Good morning, it’s Daryl! Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!”

Steven/Andres: What time is it? At least eight am?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, I’d say eight am.

Rosie/Pookie: Do we hear?

Olive/Daryl: I would probably wait until eight.

Steven/Andres: Okay, I’m going to turn the radio off. I’m just going to turn the radio off and roll over. Sorry.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to cast Mage Hand to answer it. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you going to speak into it?

Rosie/Pookie: No. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re just going to hold it so that no one else can talk?

Rosie/Pookie: Okay no, I’ll cast Mage hand just to show off because it’s very exciting that I have a hand now, and I will talk into it. *radio* “Hello, I believe I heard something about bacon.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Yes, yes. Bacon. I mean, I’m having breakfast. I’m sure that you guys are having breakfast by now too, right? A big day ahead of us and all?”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “Oh, well I was just going to hunt around. I was going to go into the city, and then I was going to wander the streets and look at people desperately with my very big eyes, and do a few pitiful meows and just hope for the best.”

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo is taking out a beef jerky stick or whatever she had.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Indigo! Is that you awake up there?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “I’m making pancakes!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Thanks mum!” *radio* “Yes, I’m having breakfast.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Oh, good, good. I’m happy to hear it. Lovely, lovely to hear it. Have either of you heard from Andres this morning?”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “Heard from? Heard from? Umm… No.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Alright, no worries. We did get back pretty late. I’m pretty sure that he’s still sleeping it off. He mentioned that he had something on last night. I can’t remember what it was though for the life of me. Anyway…”

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo’s just showing Pookie pictures of the party that are on Instagram.

[laughter]

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “By the looks of it - as the humans say - I’m sorry to say, but Andres got a little fucked up.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Ah yeah, yeah.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s Andres doing a handstand on a keg. 

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Totally understandable. Young lad as he is. Ah mate, those were the days. I miss those. I miss that time of my life.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “Anyway, moving on. Did you know that I have a hand now?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “A hand?”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “I have a hand now.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “As in your paw has been replaced by a hand?”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “No, I have a hand, and I can make it follow me, and I can sit in my hands, and I can open doors.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “And all the cupboards in the kitchen.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “And all the jars.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Alright, well I’ll remember to keep Pookie outside at the barbeque if I can.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “I don’t believe that you can.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Anyway, when is the barbeque?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Oh, well we usually get things going at around about three or four o’clock.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Okay, and where is it?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Oh, at my house.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Where is it?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Oh, right.” I’ll share the address. 

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Yeah, I’d like to know the address too. Hi, it’s Thorne. I’m on the radio too.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Hi Thorne.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Hello Thorne.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Good morning.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Yes, this is the address: two, two, seven, one Triple Avenue, Williamstown. So, feel free to come by whenever. Food won’t be out until about - I would say - six. We like to get started nice and early, do a little bit of meandering, and then we cook dinner at six, and then everyone can go home by seven if they feel to get comfortable, and then they can start their week proper.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “I’m actually quite disturbed by the fact that you would start a barbeque, and you do some meandering and then eat. I believe by that point I would be literally withering away into nothing.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “We’ll have a bowl of milk and snacks out, of course.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “Oh, of course. That is quite splendid. Thank you.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “What snacks?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Well, some chippies and some dips, and, you know, we’ve got a nice cheese spread that we like to put out as well.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “As in a lot of cheese or a spread that is made out of cheese?”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “No, a little bit of cheese. Nothing too much. Nothing overwhelming. You don’t want to fill up before dinner, you know. It’s just a little bit of talking snacks.”

Rosie/Pookie: *radio* “Oh, but I do.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “I mean, that’s fair enough then. More bacon for me.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “The meeting’s at ten o’clock by the way guys. Good chat.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Oh right, work. Alright then, well then since Andres is not up yet, how about I come and get you and Pookie first, and then we can swing by his place and see if he’s alive. I’m happy to pick you up from the same spot that I dropped you off if you like.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: *radio* “Alright, I’ll be there in twenty-five minutes.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Okay.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘How many pancakes can I eat in twenty-five minutes?’

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah! That was exactly what it was.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay.

Rosie/Pookie: “Indigo, do you think that Daryl is sad that his children are adults now, and he’s kind of replacing his children with you?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I don’t think Daryl needs to replace his children because his children have children, so he’s there’s still kids in the family.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Interesting. We shall monitor.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, Daryl drives to pick up Indigo and Pookie.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m still eating pancakes. I took a to-go box.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “You’re welcome dear.”

Jorja/Indigo: I imagine that mum has written something on there like, ‘Have a great day.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve got a little take-away container with syrup. 

Jorja/Indigo: And there’s another one with milk. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yay.

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Have a good day with your new cat.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Thanks, we will.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Bye!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Bye!”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows* “

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “I’ll see you at dinner!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh. We’re going to a barbeque with our friends, which is maybe finishing at seven.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “That’s so great to hear that you’re making friends.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Indigo’s Mum: “Bye!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Bye!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And I guess we head over to Andres’s. What do we do when we get to Andres’s house?

Steven/Andres: What time is it?

Olive/Daryl: Well, we go and pick them up first and load them into the van, and it’s all very happy, “Good morning, good morning. How are we all?”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m just eating pancakes. 

Rosie/Pookie: “Daryl, how do you feel now that your children have grown up?”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, you know, it was difficult at the time. I was a single parent as they were coming of age, so to speak, and it was a little difficult to let go, but I had my job. I had my work to hold onto to keep me busy and focused, but then I met my lovely wife, and you know, my kids started having children of their own and it was all good, but you know, it was a small time where it was difficult, but I’m very proud of the adults they’ve grown up to be.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do you think that’s maybe why you’ve latched onto this journey so much and the people that you’re meeting here? Because you’re trying to find a sense of meaning in life?”

Olive/Daryl: “I suppose you would be correct, but I don’t think that it’s because of the people that are in my life. It’s because I have not worked for quite a few years you see, and I’ve just been feeling a little empty. I’ve just been feeling a little bit… Not misguided. I don’t know what the word is. I suppose lost. Just no direction, no purpose, so having a new opportunity to discover something to give me purpose is exciting.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I feel that I understand that feeling of lost. Anyway, I’m going to sit on your lap now as you drive and not get into my feelings.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s very safe, I’m sure.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Very safe. 

Olive/Daryl: I rock up outside of Andres’s house.

Steven/Andres: Again, what time is it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Probably nineish.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Steven/Andres: Okay. Yeah, I reckon that I probably would have rolled out of bed and tried to get an instant coffee.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re sitting in there in your pajamas or your clothes from the night before and your instant coffee.

Steven/Andres: Clothes from the night before probably. Oh no, I had that two hour window from the night before where I was not drinking anymore, so I’m going to say that I sobered up in that period and got into my jammies. I stepped over someone sleeping in the living room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. It’s a bomb.

Steven/Andres: Yep, that’s average.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s drinks everywhere. There's new stains on the carpet.

Steven/Andres: Yep. Hot.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s half a bowl of punch sitting on the bench.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, wasted.

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Olive/Daryl: Although, that’s…

Steven/Andres: I probably would give the punch a  sniff, and then contemplate having some punch, and then I’ll decant it and put it in the fridge. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you knock on the door, or do you beep, or…?

Olive/Daryl: Yep, so I’ll pull up outside, and I stop the car for a moment, and I look over and see the house is quiet as a mouse, but from here I can see that there’s something that's been going on. It looks like a busy night has happened here.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Someone is sleeping on the front lawn. 

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s probably a few cars still in the street.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. I’ll pull up. “Alright, I’ll be right back. I’ll go check to see if he’s alright and alive.”

Rosie/Pookie: I jump out too.

Olive/Daryl: “Ah, Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes?”

Olive/Daryl: “You good?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright.” I go up to the front door.

[door knocks]

Steven/Andres: “Ah? Ah yeah, alright.” I walk up with my cup of joe in my hand. I open the door. 

Rosie/Pookie: I dart in.

Steven/Andres: “Ah, g’day Daryl.” You’ve got Mage Hand now. You don’t need us to open doors for you. You can open your own doors now, darling. Oh, I love it.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m just so used to it.

Olive/Daryl: It’s easier if other people open it for her.

Steven/Andres: “Woah, woah.”

Jorja/Indigo: I was just trying to get her to beep the horn.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to cast Mage Hand and grab her by the scruff.

Rosie/Pookie: Do I get away?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll Dexterity checks to see who’s faster?

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Six.

Rosie/Pookie: Seven.

[laughter]

Steven/Andres: Winner!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You got away. 

Steven/Andres: “Oh, well I missed her. I assume that was Pookie.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, that was Pookie. I assume she’s just going to snoop around and open a bunch of doors.”

Steven/Andres: “As long as it’s not a wild animal, it’s fine.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Steven/Andres: “Whatever.”

Olive/Daryl: “How was your night?”

Steven/Andres: I’ll look around. “That’s about it.”

Olive/Daryl: “It looks like a good one.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, it was good.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, lovely. How are you feeling? Good?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, no, I feel alright. I stopped drinking at twelve.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very responsible of you.”

Steven/Andres: “I wanted to get my long rest.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, fair enough, fair enough mate. I can’t say I would have done the same if I were you. Look, before we get going today and go to this meeting, I just wanted to say… I just wanted to talk about last night and dropping you off.“

Steven/Andres: “I don’t think we need to talk about that.”

Olive/Daryl: “No mate, Andres, I would like to.”

Steven/Andres: “I don’t want to. I’m going to go have a shower and I’ll meet you in the car.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very well then. Alright, I’ll see you in five minutes.”

Steven/Andres: “Ten.”

Olive/Daryl: “Roger that. Pookie!”

Rosie/Pookie: Pookie is not there. Pookie is sniffing around the house, specifically looking for something warm and fluffy. Is there a good jumper or something hanging around that has a nice smell?

Steven/Andres: There probably would be. There’s quite number of…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s Andres’s puffer jacket - a puffy jacket. 

Steven/Andres: Yeah, but that’s in my room.

Jorja/Indigo: I also imagine that people left their jackets everywhere.

Steven/Andres: One hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. If people already haven’t fallen asleep on the floor, there’s probably be jumpers and jackets and shit everywhere. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah alright, well first off, I’m just going to rearrange your TV unit a little bit. The things on it should be on the floor.

Steven/Andres: Of course.

Rosie/Pookie: So, they are on the floor now.

Steven/Andres: To be fair, they probably are on the floor. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, there’s a few drinks that were left.

Steven/Andres: There was a few… Yeah, if some managed to stay up there.

Rosie/Pookie: Unfortunately the drinks that were up there have been pushed off because they shouldn’t have been left there, and then after I’m done scratching and freaking out, I’m going to try and find a really nice, fluffy jumper or blanket. Do I find one? I want one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You don’t have to roll for it, sure. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yay, okay. I’m going to take the jumper, and I’m going to drag it out with my teethies, and put it into the car and lie down in it and curl up.. It just wasn’t cozy enough.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. You two see this.

Jorja/Indigo: Can I quickly check the pockets? Did they leave anything valuable  in their jacket?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You find Andres’s licence. 

[laughter]

Steven/Andres: This is my jacket?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Why not?

Steven/Andres: Excuse me.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re in your jammies, so I assume that your clothes are on the floor.

Jorja/Indigo: She can open doors now.

Steven/Andres: They were in my room. Ah shit, she cannot be stopped. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t know what else you’d keep in your jumper pockets.

Steven/Andres: Probably not a lot. 

Jorja/Indigo: A scrap of paper with half Japanese and half English.

Steven/Andres: True. The beginnings of a translation.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll just hold onto the license because I’m not going to make her put it back.

Rosie/Pookie: And I’m all cozy now. You can’t.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Finished your shower?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. Getting in the car?

Steven/Andres: No, I’m looking for my jumper. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can’t find it anywhere. You swear it was on your floor.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to turn the radio on and be like, *radio* “Sorry, I’m just looking for my jumper. I can’t find it.”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “It’s in the car.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Shh.”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “What? Did I leave it in the car?”

Jorja/Indigo: *radio* “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: Daryl will look back and quizzically raise an eyebrow. 

*radio* “Andres, you do not have a jumper anymore.”

Steven/Andres: I would like to roll an Insight into all of these liars.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Indigo can deceive.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Twelve. 

Jorja/Indigo: Twenty-seven. 

Steven/Andres: Shit. 

[laughter]

Steven/Andres: Must have left it in the car. I guess I’ll come out of the house then and close the door behind me. Not quietly, who cares. I’ve probably got a T-shirt on and then my puffer jacket. I’m cold. 

Rosie/Pookie: You don’t have your jacket.

Steven/Andres: No, so you’ve got my jumper. 

Rosie/Pookie: Ah.

Steven/Andres: Yep, so it’s like one of those puffer vests, so I wear the jumper underneath that. I’m missing a layer. I look incomplete.

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, let’s go. Broom broom. Meeting time.”

Steven/Andres: “Pookie, can I please have my jumper?”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *Hisses* “

Jorja/Indigo: “Here’s your license.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, thanks.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And here’s some extra pancakes.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, thanks. I’ve only had a coffee.”

Olive/Daryl: It’s okay, Daryl already had breakfast. He doesn’t need a pancake. 

Jorja/Indigo: You literally fucking called us saying that you were eating breakfast. 

Olive/Daryl: But it’s fine. It's alright. You could have asked.

Jorja/Indigo: I Mage Hand the brake pedal.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s fucked up.

Olive/Daryl: “Hey! Hey! Hey! Absolutely no magic whilst I’m driving. Understood? Thank you.”

Rosie/Pookie: I Mage Hand and pull on Daryl’s ear. Also, I’m not off the jumper. It’s my jumper. 

Steven/Andres: Oh, I’m going to Mage Hand the cat up.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m scratching.

Jorja/Indigo: The Mage Hand?

Rosie/Pookie: The Mage Hand. Desperately clawing at nothing.

Steven/Andres: Okay. Love that. That’s great .

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How long are you holding Pookie there? 

Steven/Andres: Just to take my jumper off. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, and put them back?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: “All these magic users. My goodness.”

Steven/Andres: “Sorry Daryl, it’s just to get my jumper back.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright. Yeah, no, that’s alright. That’s fine. Sorry, that was hasty on me. We’re all responsible adults.”

Steven/Andres: “Sure.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Any music?

Olive/Daryl: We’re going to listen to classic Sunday morning radio.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, Triple J?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah mate. Something sprucy with a bit of news and a little bit of mix and match, you know? You know?

Steven/Andres: ‘You’re up to date.’

Olive/Daryl: Something popular will come on like Chappel Roan.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And we drive to the convenience store.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Steven/Andres + Jorja/Indigo + Rosie/Pookie: Woo!

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo had headphones on the entire time.

Steven/Andres: Andres had pancakes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You get to the convenience store and your granddaughter is working at the convenience store today: Claudia.

Olive/Daryl: Oh yeah, Claudia. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Claudia.

Steven/Andres: Oh dear.

Olive/Daryl: Oh, bloody hell.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, so you walk in and there's Claudia just sitting there behind the counter.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, good morning.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Good morning. What?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, you told me about this place, so I thought that I’d come and check it out, and I must say so far it has been going well. Sorry, where are my manners? Claudia, these are some associates of mine. We’ve got Andres, Indigo, Pookie here, and guys, this is my granddaughter Claudia.

Tyrone/Claudia: “Hi guys.”

Steven/Andres: “Nice to meet you Claudia.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “What are you all doing here?”

Olive/Daryl: “Business.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thorne is going to come down from the convenience store with the other four guys. 

Tyrone/Thorne: “Claudia, could you please take the trash out really quick if you wouldn’t mind?”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Ah yep.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She grabs the trash and runs outside.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Quick, get in the fucking milk fridge before she sees.”

Olive/Daryl: “After you.”

Jorja/Indigo: “No, after you.”

Steven/Andres: I’m going to cast Minor Illusion and create a laser light and drag it through the store towards the stairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Why?

Rosie/Pookie: I’m chasing it so quickly. This is the most thrilling thing that’s happened for weeks.

Steven/Andres: And I’m going to follow her down the stairs and follow her into the room. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Dexterity save.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Twenty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Natural twenty?

Rosie/Pookie: No.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay. You don’t fall down the stairs.

Steven/Andres: Valid.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. We make our way downstairs.

[upbeat lofi music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve got Mildred and Greggory and Jack and Dave.

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello Mildew.”

Tyrone/Mildred: “Hello Pookie. Nice to see you again.”

Rosie/Pookie: “You too Mildew.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You guys will notice that Jack has got his cloak off and has fairy wings.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. Yeah, but if we head through the curtained room and into the speakeasy, Jonika and Misfit are already hanging out there ready to go. She’s sitting on the milk crate on the stage.

Tyrone/Jonika: “Good morning everybody! How was our breakfast? What did you have for breakfast?”

Olive/Daryl: “Not pancakes.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Ah, that sucks. I went and got some hotcakes at Maccas. It was so good.”

Jorja/Indigo: “We had pancakes.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “High five. High five. High five. Pancake club.”

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo joined in on that social interaction just to piss off Daryl.

Olive/Daryl: Stop excluding me. 

Tyrone/Mildred: “I made a bowl of oatmeal this morning for breakfast.”

Tyrone/Greggory: “I skipped breakfast. I don’t have breakfast.”

Olive/Daryl: Wow, what a sick lad.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, that’s pretty cool.

Jorja/Indigo: Who the fuck said that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Greggory.

Steven/Andres: That’s sick mate. Do a backflip.

Olive/Daryl: “I had some eggs on toast this morning.”

Tyrone/Jonika: “Nice. It wasn’t as cool as pancakes thought.”

Olive/Daryl: “I agree.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “So, do you want to stop talking about breakfast and start talking about plans?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, mate, we’re here for you. Let’s go!”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Let’s go.”

Steven/Andres: ‘We’re here for you.’

Olive/Daryl: I’m sad I didn’t get my pancakes. 

Tyrone/Thorne: “Thank you all so much for coming here at ten o’clock in the morning. I know it’s very early for some people.”

Rosie/Pookie: Side eyeing Andres.

Steven/Andres: What the fuck?

Olive/Daryl: “We all made it in one piece.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “We’ve all had a look at the information that you brought us, and we’ve talked to the new guys, and we’ve come up with a plan for the next mission.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ye- Sorry, lay it on us. Lay it on us.”

Steven/Andres: “What about Lambence? Do we get to go back there?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “No, we’re done with that.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “It’s going to be closed off for ages anyway. I don’t know if you saw the news after yesterday.”

Steven/Andres: “Would you like us to go back there?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “You can go back there in your spare time if you want. The next mission isn’t until Saturday. I think you guys have got free passes there.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “But yes, me and Daryl were talking about it being north-west is where we need to go next, right?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, that is correct.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “We’ve got some more intel from our beautiful new members here. We believe that Flinders Street Station is our next stop.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I think that Flinders Street Station is one of the best places to go. It’s one of the places where when I go there there's always so much food on the ground. The only problem is everyone's walking very fast, and you have to make sure that they don’t step on you. So, that’s something we should all be aware of.”

Olive/Daryl: “We will all keep that in consideration as we… Yep.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yep, so obviously it’s not just going to be just where the public is available.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Misfit will chime in with a very different voice, of course. 

Tyrone/Misfit: “So, there’s going to be a charity ball happening in the upstairs part of the old Flinders Street Station.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Can I play with the ball?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “The wrong type of ball.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: I’m going to put the laser light on the ground again. Just scatter it into a corner somewhere.

Tyrone/Misfit: “Pookie, could you pay attention?”

Rosie/Pookie: “There’s a- So sorry, there’s a laser. There’s a little thing. I need to catch it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “We’ll fill her in later. We’re saving you time. 

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, trust me. Yeah.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Okay. I’m going to get us all invitations to this very important gala ball. We’re all going to dress up nice and fancy.”

Olive/Daryl: “On the Saturday night, you said?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yeah, on the Saturday night.”

Olive/Daryl: “What ball is it for?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “It’s for the Society for Humans who are Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed. It’s their first yearly ball.”

Olive/Daryl: “S.H.I.F.T.?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “It’s a little on the nose, don’t you think?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Well, that’s what it’s all for, alright? It’s going to raise money for these people who are transformed.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, interesting. Alright, okay, cool. Okay, so a ball that we’re going to be going to to be investigating… Based on the documents that we’ve sourced from Lambence.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yes, we believe that the entrance is somewhere within Flinders Street Station.”

Jorja/Indigo: “So, we’re looking for the entrance? Any people that might…?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “So, we think that the Winter Court are going to be originating from here. That they have a portal here. You see, there’s portals appearing now. There’s portals to their place there. That’s the entrance.”

Steven/Andres: “Do you know anything about that Jack?”

Tyrone/Jack: “Huh? Why? Why would I know? What? Because I’m a fairy?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, because- Yep.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, alright guys. Let’s not let this get uncivilised. There’s a genuine question that is trying to be asked here. Yes, you are a fairy, and it’s not bold of us to assume, right Andres? That they would be associated in any ways or means, but with your background perchance maybe you do have some information that could be helpful for us.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, it’s just a question.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, actually Jack, can I ask you a question?”

Tyrone/Jack: “Yep.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Did you turn into a fairy, or were you always a fairy?”

Tyrone/Jack: “ *Sighs* I have a confession guys.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah?”

Tyrone/Jack: “I don’t do business.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, we knew.”

Tyrone/Jack: “What?”

Jorja/Indigo: “You weren’t really… If you meet someone and they say, ‘I do business.’”

Tyrone/Jack: “Yeah?”

Jorja/Indigo: “They’re either an idiot, a drug dealer, or lives at home with parents and they’re forty-six.”

Olive/Daryl: “True facts.”

Tyrone/Jack: “So, which one of those am I?”

Olive/Daryl: “Drug dealer.”

Jorja/Indigo: “A liar.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Idiot.”

Tyrone/Jack: “So, I used to work for the Winter Court. Thorne and that already know, but I wasn't going to tell anyone, but someone asked too many questions. Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s chill.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, so-”

Steven/Andres: “I mean, I’m a little worried. Is no one else wary?”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, well I mean it is a little unnerving on a level, but you know, anything useful that can share with us as a member of the opposition at one point.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Yeah, so we’re all up in the air, I don't work for them anymore, of course, and they’re total dicks and that’s behind me.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s fair. I mean, Thorne, do you trust him?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “I think so. Only time will tell.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s fine.”

Rosie/Pookie: Can I Detect Thoughts?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On who?

Rosie/Pookie: On Jack.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On Jack. You can do that once per day for free?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes, I sure can.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s from your Telepathetic feat?

Rosie/Pookie: It sure is.

Olive/Daryl: How tele-pathetic.

Jorja/Indigo: Telepathic?

Olive/Daryl: Telepathic.

Steven/Andres: I would like to roll an Insight into Jack while we’re reading his brain as well. 

Olive/Daryl: Can I do a cheeky Insight into Thorne once they’re done?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus, we’ve got a bank of actions to do here. 

Jorja/Indigo: I’m not doing anything.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m going to do the Insights first.

Steven/Andres: I’m casting Guidance on myself.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Natural twenty for twenty-six.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus.

Steven/Andres: Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, a nineteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nineteen? Into Thorne, he seemed genuine. He seems cautious but open to giving this guy a chance. Eh seems like he’s calculated the risk and he wants people to give him the same chance he’s giving him. 

Olive/Daryl: Cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Insight into Jack with a nineteen. Jack is nervous. He feels revealing this information means that people are going tot hate him now, and he’s really trying to present this information in a way that’s going to bring you onto his side. 

Steven/Andres: Cheeky bastard.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Detect Thoughts: You initially learn the surface thoughts of the creature, what is most on its mind in that moment. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What does Detect Thoughts look like for Pookie? I picture you start squinting at him.

Rosie/Pookie: It’s that thing that cats do when they just sit there and really eerily stare at you with these wide eyes and they don’t stop staring no matter what you do.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What is most on Jack's mind at the moment?

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pretty much that. He’s like, ‘Fuck, I hope this doesnt’ blow over. They need to be able to find them so that they can trust me because, fuck, if they hate me already, what am I going to to do? We have to catch them.’

Rosie/Pookie: Can I probe deeper?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah. 

Rosie/Pookie: Yay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘If you probe deeper, the target must make a Wisdom saving throw. Either way, the target knows that you are probing into its mind.’ So, he’s going to know that you are doing this regardless.

Rosie/Pookie: That’s so chill. 

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Woah!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I rolled a nat twenty.

Jorja/Indigo: Damn, get fucked!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Woah!

Rosie/Pookie: Woah, that’s so rude. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you don’t get to probe deeper, so Jack’s going to be talking. He’s going to pause for a second and flick his eyes at Pookie and go back to talking.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m maintaining eye contact.  

Steven/Andres: I would like to cast Detect Magic.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Why?

Steven/Andres: I want to know what just happened.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, so casting Detect Magic has revealed Daryl’s vest.

Steven/Andres: Sure, not opening that again.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo’s outfit, your bracelet, and your puffer jacket, Pookie’s collar, potions in Indigo and Daryl’s pockets, and everyone’s new magic items as well. No new information. 

Tyrone/Jack: “So, as I was saying, I know where the entrance to the Winter Court was, but I think they moved it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Where was it?”

Tyrone/Jack: “So, you had to be on the train, and when it was in the tunnel, you just had to roll out of the train.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Did people not see that?”

Tyrone/Jack: “Surprisingly not. There’s a lot you can- Everyone’s on their phones these days.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Actually yeah, dumb question. No-one’s looking at anything. You just need one crazy person on the train and then no one notices you at all. 

Tyrone/Jack: “So, me and Thorne thought that we could split into two teams. Maybe the new guys, we could get the shit job of getting into trains and rolling out.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, no, my back couldn’t handle that anymore.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “And I’m going to accompany you guys on the mission into the ball.”

Jorja/Indigo: Is that Thorne?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Misfit. He’s got a slightly deeper voice.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. “Thanks Misfit.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “And I’ll get you all tickets inside so that you are legitimate. You’ve just got to wear your fanciest outfit.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do I have to wear clothes?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “We could get you a little tuxedo.”

Steven/Andres: “Do I have to wear clothes?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yes.”

[laughter]

Jorja/Indigo: We’ll get you a little tuxedo. 

Steven/Andres: Goddammit.

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yes, so you’ve got to find a way into the Winter Court.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Through the window.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “What window?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m not sure, but I’m sure there’s a window. It’s been my go-to in many situations, and it’s always worked.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Do you guys have any questions?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, are you guys going to provide us with stuff to wear?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Do you need something?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah. This is the best I’ve got.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s alright Andres. We can go somewhere. I know a place. I know a guy.”

Steven/Andres: “Do you have anything that I could wear?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to gesture to his frame, which is a minotaur.

Tyrone/Misfit: “I don’t think that it would fit you.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’ve got a really good tailor who will give us a good discount and will make sure that it is a piece that you can wear for the next five to ten years.”

Steven/Andres: “Daryl, I don’t have any money.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, no, don’t worry about it mate. It’s fine.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, thanks Da-ryl.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Any other questions?”

Olive/Daryl: “So, our purpose for this mission - just so that we’re all clear and everyone is aware and not just me because I’ve been in and out of this conversation-”

Jorja/Indigo: “He fell asleep.”

Olive/Daryl: “I did. I get up so early, I’ve got to chuck in a couple of dad naps.”:

Rosie/Pookie: “They’re called cat naps.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, they’re not. So, we’re going to this ball to discover the location of the entrance to this hideout potentially, or the location of where the Winter Court is being?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “So, this is simply a reconnaissance mission then? This is supposed to be subtle?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Or are we using this to go in there and get some answers?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I feel like the first step to figure out if we can go in. Also, maybe make note of the people that we see there, and then if we find a way in, then it would be more reconnaissance. Maybe see if we can find anything immediately, but don’t endanger ourselves.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And I think that I can definitely be subtle.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And Pookie’s on window duty.”

Olive/Daryl: “Copy that.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Just get a feel for the place, yeah?”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “They might have moved it, but they shouldn’t have moved it too far.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright.”

Steven/Andres: “So yeah, Lambence was meant to be similar: reconnaissance.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “But I died.”

Olive/Daryl: “You got a couple of scratches, mate. You’re alright.”

Steven/Andres: “I literally died.”

Jorja/Indigo: “You’re fine.”

Steven/Andres: “So, I mean, if this mission also ends in a similar way, do you have any gear or weapons that we can take with us?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “I mean, I’m coming with you. I can protect you.”

Steven/Andres: “I was thinking more things that I can have on me. Armour or something.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “No. You picked up your free stuff already from the back.”

Steven/Andres: “I’ve got this rod. Can I swap it for some armour?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “You want to swap it?”

Steven/Andres: “For some armour.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “We haven’t got anything in the back room.”

Jorja/Indigo: “If we think of things that we might want, can we tell you, and then you can try to source it?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “We can do that. I also have an investment in the gala. They’re doing an auction, and I have some items that I have my eyes on.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Ooo, what?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Some magic items to procure.”

Olive/Daryl: “Some high ticket items, hey?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do you have any armour made for cats?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “No.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Very disappointing.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Any more questions?”

Steven/Andres: “No.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, I don’t believe so. I think that we’ll see you on Saturday evening.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “I’ll forward you the tickets.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, please do. You have our email, right?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “I’ll find it.”

Jorja/Indigo: I start writing them down.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, we start writing them down.

Tyrone/Misfit: “I found it.”

Jorja/Indigo: I take a photo of it as well, so that I have everyone’s emails as well.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re passing it around.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie just puts a paw on it.

[laughter]

Olive/Daryl: “Alright then, quick stop off to the tailor - I’m pretty sure that they’ll still be open - and anything else that anyone else wants to get before we head.”

Steven/Andres: “It’s alright Daryl, I don’t reckon that we’ll need a tailor.” I’m going to Minor Illusion a very smart outfit for myself.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Minor Illusion is a lot smaller than that.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, oh…

Steven/Andres: Oh, sorry. Not Minor Illusion. Disguise Self. 

Olive/Daryl: Oh, nice. “Sweet. Why did you ask then?”

Steven/Andres: “I wanted armour.” I’m just asking genuine questions.

Olive/Daryl: My goodness.

Tyrone/Thorne: “What time is the barbeque?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Three pm till seven pm. There’s meandering until six when the food is served.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Should I bring cards? We can play card games.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I have hands now. I can participate.”

Olive/Daryl: “Please do.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Cameron will play Uno with the cat. Got it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “She will cheat.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “That’s alright. So will he.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I don’t know the meaning of the word.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to tell everyone that I’m going to the bathroom and get them to go upstairs. “I’ll meet you up there in a minute. I’ve got to pee.”

Rosie/Pookie: I’m hiding in the shadows.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to the bathroom downstairs?

Jorja/Indigo: Yes. I’ll be like, ‘I’ll catch up,’ sort of thing.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Jorja/Indigo: And I’ll go over to Jack.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you guys are heading upstairs?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re heading upstairs?

Rosie/Pookie: Can I hide and watch?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth versus Perception. 

Steven/Andres: Don’t make me pull the laser pointer out.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, I think you’re good.

Rosie/Pookie: Twenty-three.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What did you get?

Jorja/Indigo: Seven.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. Okay, you don’t notice.

Jorja/Indigo: That’s fine.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, everyone else heads upstairs. Misfit heads in the back. Jonika… She can chill. 

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, it’s mostly these ones.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. What are you going to do?

[peaceful music plays]

Jorja/Indigo: “Hi.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh, hi.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I know we don’t know each other, but I am looking for someone.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Who is now a fairy, which is why I asked. I’m sorry if I put you on the spot.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Oh, to answer your question because I didn’t answer your question, I’ve always been a fairy.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s okay, and I don’t know where she might have gone if it’s with other fairies, but she sent me this note,” and I’ll give him the note that’s marked from V.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: “Can you tell anything from it? Because I tried to look at it and I just couldn’t.”

Tyrone/Jack: “I don’t think so. The Winter Court has been on a bit of a recruitment drive, so maybe… People haven’t been allowed into Lambence, but maybe they’ve found the Winter Court.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay. Well, thank you.”

Tyrone/Jack: “That’s okay. I’ll keep an eye out, I guess, for a fairy that kind of looks like you.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Tyrone/Jack: “Okay, I’ll see how I can help.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Thank you. I really appreciate it. Okay, bye.” She runs away.

Tyrone/Jack: “Sorry for your loss!”

Rosie/Pookie: I run after her, and very unsteathily run up behind her then in font of her on the stairs, the way cats do to get to the door first. 

Jorja/Indigo: I Mage Hand her down the stairs. 

Rosie/Pookie: I’ll take it. 

[laughter]

Olive/Daryl: Meanwhile, upstairs, Daryl is leaning up against the wall next to Andres. “So…”

Steven/Andres: “‘Sup?”

Olive/Daryl: “How’s studies?”

Steven/Andres: “We don’t have to do this Daryl if you don’t want to.”

Olive/Daryl: “Of course I want to mate. I want to know how you’re doing.”

Steven/Andres: “Fine.”

Olive/Daryl: “Good, good, good.”

Steven/Andres: “Less fine by the second.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ah well, you know, I’m sure it’ll come back around. Yeah.”

Steven/Andres: “I’m going to go check the fridge for milk.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, sure. Good chat, good chat, yeah.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. I think Claudia’s going to be like:

Tyrone/Claudia: “Did you- Did you just come out of the fridge?”

Olive/Daryl: “The fridge?”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Which one?”

Tyrone/Claudia: “The milk fridge.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, probably.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “What?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, my calcium has been acting up again."

Tyrone/Claudia: “But did all of you just come out of the fridge?”

Jorja/Indigo: And now the door opens and Indigo walks out.

Tyrone/Claudia: “Like that!”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh. Yes.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Oh, okay. Can I go down and check it out?”

Olive/Daryl: “Probably wouldn’t recommend it. Look, if you can manage to get in there and get a little looksie without anyone seeing, then you do you. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “You’re scaring me grandpa.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’m just messing with you. There's really not much of anything down there. At least, not of anything that I’d think that you were interested in.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “It’s also not exactly very safe, so just…”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m standing behind Daryl shaking my head.

Tyrone/Claudia: “Have a good barbeque night.”

Olive/Daryl: “You’re coming with us tonight too, yes?”

Tyrone/Claudia: “No, I’m working.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, you’ve got to cover the shop.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, we will, and I’m sure we’ll see you later on.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll see you after. After I finish.”

Olive/Daryl: “And how has your mum been? It’s been a minute since I’ve seen her.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Yeah, she’s fine, I guess. She’s busy.”

Olive/Daryl: “Lovely. Good. Good to hear it.”

Tyrone/Claudia: “Yeah. Bye grandpa.”

Olive/Daryl: “Goodbye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The barbeque. Is everyone coming?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes?

Olive/Daryl: Yes. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is three pm?

Olive/Daryl: Sure.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Did you guys all come in the car? Are you just coming with Daryl?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: I guess so.

Steven/Andres: I guess. Unless we had free time in between. If there was any spare time in between I probably would have gone home.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, there’s probably a four hour window, I imagine, between…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, it’s up to you guys.

Steven/Andres: I’m going home. I’m studying.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. 

Steven/Andres: I’m a good boy. I don’t want to be around Daryl any longer than I have to be.

Rosie/Pookie: I’ll probably really quickly go to try to find Terrance, and check in if there’s been any sightings of my family.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, you want to do Terrance now?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, why not?

[smooth jazz plays]

Tyrone/Terrance: “Well, hello there. How are you going Pookie?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m very well Terrance. How have you been on this splendid, splendid, splendid Saturday morning?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “It is Sunday today.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I thought I said Sunday. I thought Sunday.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “You definitely said Saturday.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Very interesting.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “It’s being recorded.”

Jorja/Indigo: ‘As all of our conversations are.’

Tyrone/Terrance: “No sign of the family.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, that is very sad and disappointing to hear, but thank you for your efforts Terrance. Is there anything else that I should be aware of? Any happenings in the cat society we’ve come to know? Any falling outs? Anything fun that I’ve missed out on?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Well, you did ask me to check into that building over there.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I sure did.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “You saw that I didn’t have much luck, but I saw something while I was down there.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What did you see?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “I saw cameras in the corners of the room.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Cameras?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Yes, they’re recording.”

Rosie/Pookie: “They’re recording?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Yes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “That is very, very interesting.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “It is.”

Rosie/Pookie: “As we say, we never are safe. There's always someone watching us.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “And I did get a little look in there this morning before you guys showed up.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What did you see?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “I saw Jonika, that’s her name?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, that is her name?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “And the big thing with the horns.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, yes.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Yep. I saw them. They were having a chat on their rectangle that they talk into.”

Rosie/Pookie: “The radio.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “I don’t think so. That’s the thing with the antenna, right? This is the rectangle-”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m not sure of the difference.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Fair. The little communication device: they were talking into that to someone else. It seems like they were reporting to somebody else.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Somebody else?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Yeah.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Did you hear my voice on there at all?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “No. Oh, I did hear your voice on the other rectangle.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, they’ve got two rectangles?”

Tyrone/Terrance: “They’ve got two rectangles.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Very interesting. Okay, so they’ve got cameras, two rectangles, and there’s a voice coming through the rectangle that wasn’t mine.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Yeah, it wasn’t yours because you were also on the other rectangle.”

Rosie/Pookie: “That is very interesting. Thank you Terrance.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Any time. Did you get me the salami stick?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, hang on. One second, one second.” Is Indigo around?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It depends if Indigo hung around for Pookie, or if Pookie was like, ‘I need to talk to Terrance,’ and Indigo is like, ‘I’ll…’

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, she’s not going to hang around for a cat chat.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, I’m still near the convenience store, hey?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I guess.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, I’m outside it. Okay, I’m going to dash inside, and with my Mage Hand I’m going to take two salami sticks.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Claudia is there like:

Tyrone/Claudia: “The cat’s back. The cat’s back. Oh, hey! Hey, hey, hey!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s not going to chase you down.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, it’s just two salami sticks.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: “Here you are Terrance. Your reward as promised, and if you can continue to monitor this building. Just a little bit of monitoring, and as always keeping an eye out. If anyone in the network sees my family you’ll be greatly rewarded with, in fact, three salami sticks and as much milk as I can drag out with my mouth.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “How about you throw in some of those… I think the shop calls them H.S.P.s.”

Rosie/Pookie: “H.S.P.s.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “I’ve been eyeing them off at that kebab shop.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Ooo, I think that i can certainly manipulate one of my business partners into getting one.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “It’s a done deal. H.S.P.s for Terrance.”

Rosie/Pookie: “More like H.S.Yay.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “H.S.Yay indeed. Meow.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh gosh.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Well, I won’t keep you forever.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you very much Terrance. I hope you have a glorious day.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Right back at you Pookie. We’ll keep looking for the fam.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And if you need somewhere warm to sleep tonight, I really do recommend this convenience store. They’re very lovely.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Oh yep, we didn’t see you there last night. It seems like the spot is free.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I shall be coming and going, I believe.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “We will see you around.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Bye.”

Tyrone/Terrance: “Meow.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The barbeque.

[relaxed synth music]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: When you guys arrive, you’ll be greeted by Lorraine.

Jorja/Indigo: I would have not gone home. I would have stayed with Daryl.

Olive/Daryl: Oh, okay.

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Ah, this is Indigo, is it?”

Olive/Daryl: “Ah, yes. Indigo, this is my wife Lorriane. Lorraine, Indigo.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Oh, it’s lovely to meet you. I didn’t realise that Indigo was a child.”

Olive/Daryl: “A young lady.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Sorry Indigo.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very capable, this one.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “So, you work together?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Of a sorts.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Very well, some of the grandkids are in the back if you’d like to say hello. There’s some of a similar age. Brianna is sixteen.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That sounds really good and I’m going to enjoy that. I will go do that.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “They’re playing Jenga out the back.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, goodie.”

Olive/Daryl: “Honestly, I think she will get on very well with Brianna.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Yes?”

Olive/Daryl: “Two peas in a pod, those ones.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Two peas in a pod.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “I’m going to prepare the barbeque. I’m going to put out the snacks.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you darling. Would you like some help?”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “If you can cut up the carrot sticks and the celery sticks for the cheese board.”

Jorja/Indigo: Is there anything weird about Daryl’s wife?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is there anything weird about Daryl’s wife?

Olive/Daryl: I suppose so. It’s interesting because at first glance she is a seventy year old woman, but she looks a lot younger than she is. She’s got this spirit of life about her, but also this regalness. That’s the British in her.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep, yep.

Olive/Daryl: But she’s a professional woman. She’s constantly going out and speaking with people and doing a lot of charity-based events and things, so she’s very well versed in socialising, I suppose, but she’s dressed up knowing that the boss - so to speak - is coming. She has dressed up a little bit, but you do swear that underneath her overcoat, you see, you catch a glimpse of a very similarly coloured vest.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Steven/Andres: Don’t ask about it.

Jorja/Indigo: Cool. Interesting. 

Olive/Daryl: But she’s very lovely, and she’s accommodating. She’s just sweet.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Yes, indeed.’

Jorja/Indigo: Nice. ‘I am.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Indeed.’ Moving on, a few hours later we have Thorne and his family arriving. Thorne, the orc that we all know and love, accompanied by his two children: the seven year old, Cameron, and the teenage half-orc. So, the children are both half-orcs because they’re botha accompanied by Thorne’s wife. She’s middle-aged, I’d say, and dressed in nurse scrubs at the time.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Sorry about it. The wife just came straight from work, but we’re very excited to be here.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, no, not at all. Can I get you a drink? Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

Tyrone/Jayne: “I’m Jayne.”

Olive/Daryl: “Jayne.”

Tyrone/Jayne: “Jayne.”

Olive/Daryl: “Jayne. Pleasure to meet you. Can I get you a drink I’m sure that you’ve had a very long shift.”

Tyrone/Jayne: “Just some water will do. I always forget to drink water.”

Olive/Daryl: “Still or sparkling?”

Rosie/Pookie: Wow. What a plain Jayne. 

Olive/Daryl: Fuck off.

Rosie/Pookie: No, but she ordered a water.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes?

Rosie/Pookie: At a barbeque.

Jorja/Indigo: She’s a nurse. She just finished a nursing shift. Do you know how many people finish a nursing shift and are like, ‘I haven’t eaten or drank anything in twelve hours’?

Olive/Daryl: “Absolutely, can I get you a still or sparkling?”

Tyrone/Jayne: “Fancy. Still is fine. Just tap is fine.”

Olive/Daryl: “No worries at all. Easy done. And for yourself Thorne?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Got any beers?”

Olive/Daryl: “Classic.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yeah, I’ll take a beer.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, wonderful.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “You’ll have to come show me the garden.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh absolutely, I’ll come show you a couple of little projects that I’m working on at the moment. I’ve got a good little cultivation of some tomato beds that I’ve put in. *whispering* Don’t tell anyone, but they’re actually international.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “International tomatoes. I didn’t know that they existed.”

Olive/Daryl: “Technically illegal, but it’s alright.”

Jorja/Indigo: Indigo is absolutely clocking that Daryl offered everyone but her a drink.

Olive/Daryl: Oh my god man.

Jorja/Indigo: Don’t give a man pancakes once.

Olive/Daryl: He cut to hours ahead. What do you want me to do?

Jorja/Indigo: Nope! I see how it is.

Tyrone/Thorne: “Cameron, Charlotte, go socialise. Go meet the other kids. I see five in the back.”

Olive/Daryl: “There’s an area for kids' drinks where they can go and get their own drinks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s an esky in the back.

Olive/Daryl: “Because kids are independent.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Have you got an outdoor fridge and an indoor fridge?

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: Classic.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And the outdoor fridge is the soft drink fridge.

Olive/Daryl: Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we’ll grab people drinks and talk to people as they come in, and get food, and if anyone wants to interact with anyone, I guess go for it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie, did you get convenience store people? How are you getting here?

Rosie/Pookie: No, so I was going to talk on that. So, Pookie is making their own way there, but Pookie has negative one Intelligence, so they decided that they would catch the train to Williamstown, but they had a lot of trouble reading where that was.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: And yeah, they heard all of the announcements of, ‘Williamstown train is departing from platform five,’ and they’re there counting in their head. “So, we’ve got one, two, three,” and then they’re getting a little bit confused.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: So, they miss the train.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s fine, there’s another one.

Rosie/Pookie: There is, there is, and they eventually get onto the correct train, and of course there’s the whole debacle of what stop to get off at, where to go after that. Because they do remember the address. They know that it is on Triple Avenue in Williamstown, so they’re desperately walking around and trying to find it. At one point, they get a good sense from someone and they start following that person because they think that this person knows where a barbeque is, and then they resort to sniffing out the smell of a barbeque, and they end up at the wrong barbeque entirely.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh no.

Rosie/Pookie: And we’re going to montage it a bit there. They’re there for a little bit of time. They’re hanging out. They steal sausages. They're having a really great time, and then they think, ‘Well alright, I think it’s time to continue,’ and they’re thinking about the numbers, and they’re trying to count in their head again, and it’s just not going great, but they’re wandering around for a long time, and then they see Triple Avenue, and they eventually arrive late.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, everyone has eaten. So, we’ll come back to Pookie arriving. Jesus.

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assume Andres arrives next then.

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You took the train successfully?

Steven/Andres: Yes. Oh, yes. Come on mate, I know how trains work.

Jorja/Indigo: You saw Pookie struggling, and you’re like, ‘None of my business.’

Steven/Andres: She’s got this. From one low Intelligence to another: ‘You’ve got this.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. Andres arrives. 

Olive/Daryl: “Welcome Andres. Welcome.”

Steven/Andres: “Thanks mate.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you for showing up.”

Steven/Andres: “It’s a lovely place that you’ve got here.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you so much for saying so. How would you like a drink?”

Steven/Andres: “I would love one, thanks. What a way to greet people.”

Olive/Daryl: “Are you still a little foggy form last night, or can I get you something-”

Steven/Andres: “Nah. Nah, get me the hard stuff. What are you drinking?”

Olive/Daryl: “No, worries. I’m just having a nice light beer this evening. Nothing too crazy.”

Steven/Andres: “Have you got anything heavier?”

Olive/Daryl: “Of course we do. We’ve got everything to accommodate our guests, so please come on in.”

Steven/Andres: “Perfect.”

Olive/Daryl: “This is everyone here. You know Thorne, and then this is his partner, Jayne, and their kids are outside playing, and then this is my wife, Lorraine.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Hello.”

Olive/Daryl: “Lorriane, this is Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “Hello, nice to meet you.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Hello, it’s nice to meet you Andres. Everyone is so much younger than you. I didn’t expect that.”

Olive/Daryl: “It is something that I took a little bit to get used to, but it’s refreshing. You get a new angle. You get a new perspective.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “We’ve got a cheese board out on the deck if you’d like some.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, thanks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you rich, Daryl?

Jorja/Indigo: He’s got two fridges. I think yes. 

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I picture a two storey, five bedroom house.

Olive/Daryl: He’s not rich. Lorraine is rich.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: Daryl was very smart with money. He was a single parent for a long time, so he had to budget. He had to manage everything, and he was very smart about what he did with his money. Invested wisely enough to kind of get by, but Lorraine does most, if not all, of the heavy lifting. The niceties. Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s fine. Just to get a visual of it. So, is my two storey, five bedroom house accurate?

Olive/Daryl: I’d probably say so. It’s nothing too modern. It’s nice though. It’s homey, you know. There's a nice backyard area that you can sit in. It's not massive. Nothing extravagant. They probably would have splurged out on getting an upgrade for the back deck, so it looks a bit new.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is where we’re entertaining?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, yeah. It’s a good entertaining space.

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Oh, and this is your boss that you were talking about. Thorne, was it?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, Thorne. Thorne, this is my wife, Lorraine. Lorraine, my boss.”

Tyrone/Thorne: Hello.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Hello. So, what is it that you do exactly? What is it that you do for Thorne?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Oh, Daryl does some investigative work for us. Just some little P.I. stuff, I suppose. He helps train the other youngins, as you call them.”

Olive/Daryl: “I know that I said that I’d never get into P.I. work, but I figured that this was a little bit more adjacent to private investigation. It was similar but not quite.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “That is very interesting. I know that I’m not allowed to ask the specifics too much. I myself work in charity. We’re actually doing a lot for the transformed community at the moment.”

Jorja/Indigo: “What are you doing?”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “I do a lot of philanthropy. A lot of fundraising for those that need it. You know, the biggest topic at the moment is those that are transformed. Teaching nurses like yourself, Jayne, how to operate on people with different anatomy, or you know, building infrastructure for different sized people - small, large. All of that stuff. How we have to change our society.”

Olive/Daryl: “Just last month, she held a gala, I believe it was, or was it a day out?”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “I think it was a high tea actually.”

Olive/Daryl: “It was. It was a high tea. Twenty-five thousand dollars just from a high tea, this one.”

Jorja/Indigo: “You got twenty-five thousand dollars?” Indigo doesn’t know how charity works. 

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Oh, old ladies fucking love scones and tea. They’ll fork money out of their arses for scones and tea.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s fair. They kind of got that figured out, huh? Do you have anything upcoming?”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Just next week actually, we’ve got a gala ball that I’ll be attending for the… What were they called? S.H.I.F.T.. The Society for Humans Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed. It will be their first yearly.”

Olive/Daryl: “Isn’t that so very exciting everyone? That she’s attending this and hosting this wonderful gala and ball?”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Oh, I’m not hosting, dear. I’m just an invite.”

Olive/Daryl: “Invited to, of course. Of course.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s absolutely incredible. Well done.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Yes, yes it is. Thank you so much.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Daryl, you didn’t offer me a drink. Can we go to the kitchen?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes absolutely. We can go to the kitchen and I can get you a drink. Absolutely Indigo, what would you like?”

Steven/Andres: “I’m also going to go to the kitchen.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes Andres, I think you need a top-up.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to tip my drink out. “My beer is empty.”

Olive/Daryl: Just walk into the kitchen, and I open the fridge casually. Just starting into it for a second. You see that Daryl’s brain is…

Jorja/Indigo: “Daryl, what the fuck?”

Olive/Daryl: “Huh? What? What?”

Jorja/Indigo: “How are you going to hide from her? Are you going to hide from her? Does she know you’re going?”

Olive/Daryl: “ *long umm* “

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, so we haven’t thought that far ahead.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, I just found out that that was the event that she was going to. She told me that she was going to an event, but she didn’t tell me what event it was, and then I found out that we were going to this thing today, and I just didn’t piece the two together. Fuck.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay.”

Steven/Andres: “What’s our plan of attack?”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, I mean well…”

Jorja/Indigo: “Now, I don’t want to start anything…”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes, alright.”

Jorja/Indigo: “But who is putting on this event? It’s not your wife. She’s just invited.”

Olive/Daryl: “She’s just invited, yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, well it might be a good idea to find out from her who put this event on because I don’t like the idea that it’s being held at the same place that we’re looking. Just for your wife’s safety, maybe.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, that’s a good idea. Yes.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Are you guys okay over there? I’m getting ready to serve the barbeque.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes, yes dear. We’ll be over in just a moment, darling.”

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Yes darling.’

Steven/Andres: I want to cast Detect Magic on her.

Olive/Daryl: Hey.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On Lorraine?

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Does a vest pop up?

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A vest pops up.

Steven/Andres: Intriguing.

Olive/Daryl: The same style of magic as Daryl’s as well.

Steven/Andres: Perfect.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The same signature?

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Steven/Andres: I’m still scared.

Olive/Daryl: Oh, you guys would meet my kids as well.

Jorja/Indigo: Eww.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you want to go through them all?

Olive/Daryl: Sorry, yeah. Just really quickly we’ll say that Daryl’s daughter, Suzanne, has three kids, Brianna, Stacy, and Annabelle. The three grandkids are all fairies, and Suzanne herself is a centaur. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nobody addresses that.

Olive/Daryl: Nobody talks about it. And then you have Patrick, Daryl’s son, and their two children, Claudia who we met, and Spencer, and three of them are also fairies, and then Patrick’s wife.

Steven/Andres: What is Patrick?

Jorja/Indigo: Fairy.

Steven/Andres: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: Oh no, Brianna.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Brianna.

Olive/Daryl: Brianna was spared. Okay, so Brianna is human but everyone else is human.

Steven/Andres: ‘Spared.’

Jorja/Indigo: So, Brianna is the granddaughter is that you said that I would get on with?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master + Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay, interesting.

Olive/Daryl: She’s a human.

Jorja/Indigo: And so her mother is a centaur?

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Jorja/Indigo: What the fuck?

Olive/Daryl: It’s just how it be.

Steven/Andres: And the centaur’s husband? He’s…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Not in the picture.

Olive/Daryl: A divorcee.

Jorja/Indigo: Is there any family photos around?

Olive/Daryl: Not of him, no.

Jorja/Indigo: Fuck! I don’t want to ask him while we’re in his home, but we have to ask him later, right?

Steven/Andres: We have to ask him later, one hundred percent.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep, okay.

Steven/Andres: Well, Andres doesn’t know anything about science, so…

Olive/Daryl: I don’t want to give it away, but if you do remember, Daryl was wearing a horse mask.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Lorraine is handing out sausage sandwiches.

Jorja/Indigo: “Thank you.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, thanks.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you, lovely.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Any time, dear.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I love your outfit.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Thank you.” 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s wearing a floral sundress. It’s coming into winter…

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: And she’s got a little shawl on to cover the vest.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, exactly.

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Thank you. You said there was a cat coming. Where is the cat?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh yes, where is Pookie?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, she was running around the train station.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh alright, she’ll be here in her own time. She’s a cat. She lives in her own little world.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Packing up the barbeque later, you hear a ding-dong.

[door bell]

Olive/Daryl: “I wonder who that could be?”

Rosie/Pookie: Just so you know, in Pookie’s adventures they did run into a little bit of trouble in that they thought they were at the right house. You know how they were coming in through windows? They thought that this was Daryl’s house because they could smell sausages cooking, so they abruptly jumped through the window and thought that they’d help themselves to what was cooking. It didn’t go down well. There was some water bottle spraying involved, a little bit of screaming, and then they ran out of the house as fast as they could through  bunch of cobwebs because they actually had to go through this weird little thing underneath the house because they were scared of all the water spraying, so when the door is opened, they are covered in cobwebs, a little bit wet, and a little bit dirty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Lorraine will pick you up.

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Do you need a bath, dearie? Are you okay? I believe you can talk, right?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I can. Please, thank you very much. I didn’t have a very good journey here, but that's okay. I’m here now, and I’m ready to party.”

Olive/Daryl: “Who threw you down a well?”

Rosie/Pookie: “A well?”

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, it kind of looks like that’s what happened.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh no, I’m not sure what a well is, but a very, very, very rude lady decided to spray me brutally with the water bottle and made me run through cobwebs because I was very lost.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Pookie. I mean, I suppose some of our neighbours can be a little…”

Rosie/Pookie: “There was a crunchy spider though.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Crunchy?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Crunchy.”

Olive/Daryl: “Crunchy.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s filling up the kitchen sink with some soap.

Rosie/Pookie: “No, no, no. I don’t need more water.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “You said I was going to give you a bath.”

Rosie/Pookie: “But I didn’t think that would involve water.”

Olive/Daryl: “Milk bath?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh no, no, no, no, no.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Just brush her.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Please.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I saved you a sausage.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Okay, brushed.”

Jorja/Indigo: “It’s really cold.”

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Anything else that we’d like to do at this barbeque?

Rosie/Pookie: “I need to talk to you all.”

Olive/Daryl: “What are we talking about Pookie? What’s going on?”

Rosie/Pookie: “This is secret, so are we secret? Is everyone…? Is there no-one here who shouldn’t be here?”

Steven/Andres: “Did you find another knife?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, but I did contemplate it when I was in that horrid woman’s home. No, I spoke to Terrance, my dear friend from my cat society. I told him to watch the convenience store, and he’s made some important discoveries that I think that you would all like to hear. First off, the room has cameras, so we are being watched. Secondly, the little boxes - the radios that we talk into - the little squares: apparently they have two, and my voice was coming from one, and the other one was another different voice that we don’t know, and it was like they were answering to them like they were the boss, which makes me think that maybe we should go and find another knife, and then we should go and attack them.”

Steven/Andres: “You had me until, ‘find another knife’.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “So, the people that we’re working for… Our boss, who's here, is working for someone else?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Was it Thorne that was speaking to this other person?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, so either they’re working for someone else, or maybe those two are working for someone.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And that person is probably evil, and they’ve lied to us, and they’re evil, so we should probably find some knives, or we could just use the claws. Yes, that wouldn’t be very expected because I can hide them in my paws.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Or we wait and find out some more intel to know who we’re dealing with so we can get to the big boss.”

Olive/Daryl: “Do you think that Thorne would be helpful in this, or perchance let it sit for a minute? See what we can find and then go to him?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I think let it sit for a minute because, I mean, he might not be involved but he might be.”

Olive/Daryl: “Mhmm. No, I couldn't agree more. You’re right.”

Steven/Andres: “Can’t you read minds, Pookie?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I can. I sure tried with Jack. It didn’t work. All I got was that he really wanted us to believe him and it had to go right, or something along that line.”

Olive/Daryl: “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, but it could have been innocent. You never know with minds. They’re quite confusing. They’re a bit like the numbers at the train station.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, they are very confusing. I do agree. Trains.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I think let it sit, and we keep watch, and if Terrance wants to help-”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, I’ve promised Terrance… Oh actually, I do need some help. How would somebody like to help me get Terrance three salami sticks, as much milk as I can carry with my mouth, and a H.S.P..”

Olive/Daryl: “I’m not sure how we could help with the milk part, but I can definitely get you a H.S.P..”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh my gosh Daryl, I knew that I could count on you.”

Steven/Andres: “Can I have one?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, of course.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Me too?”

Olive/Daryl: “Why don’t we go for a bit of a H.S.P. run on Saturday before the gala, and that way we’re all ready to go?”

Steven/Andres: “Tight.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Sounds like we’re going to smell gross, but okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’ll bring mints.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Beautiful.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay barbeque finished. Barbeque over.

Steven/Andres: Successful barbeque.

Olive/Daryl: Successful barbeque. Good time.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Successful barbeque. It’s a good time, and we’ll leave you all here, and we’ll get ready for our gala next week.

Olive/Daryl: Woo!

Jorja/Indigo: Woo!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Woo!

[peaceful synth music rises]

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you so much for listening to Portal Quandary. Portal Quandary is made possible by the following people: Myself, Tyrone Cross as Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber, Steven Edwards as Andres, Olive Jerome as Daryl, Rosemary Ochtman as Pookie, and Jorja Odd as Indigo. Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant and that theme song is Belly of the Beast by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas. We’re on a bunch of social media, including Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Patreon. All of which are @portalquandary. Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y. This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people, and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

Theme Song: [rock music continues]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, (in the belly of the beast), to make it home we can’t accept defeat, (there’s no turning back) so roll the dice and come along with me, (come along with me, let’s go), finding home in the belly of the beast.

-

Olive/Daryl: “He’s finished up with one degree, and he’s starting another one. Now, see, I’ve gone British, see?”

[laughter]

Tyrone/Lorraine: “That always happens dear, I know.”

Olive/Daryl: “I know, I know. It just happens. I don’t mean to- You know, you know. It’s not mocking. It’s just what it is.” Fuck me dead.

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Now, watch yourself.”

-

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, I live at two two seven zero Triple Street. Triple Avenue, sorry.”

Olive/Daryl: “Woah, you’re so close. How did I not know this?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What the fuck?

Olive/Daryl: Wait, so hang on. So, I drove all the way out the way to drop fucking what’s his name off first- Wait no, I dropped you off first, and then went and dropped him off, and then I went home!?

Rosie/Pookie: And how did you not realise that she was next to your house?

-

Jorja/Indigo: I need to start referring to it in real-life conversations as a ‘long rest.’

Olive/Daryl: So, how was your long rest last night?

Jorja/Indigo: Sorry guys, I’ve got to go. I need my long rest.

Steven/Andres: Ooo, I won’t get my eight hours. Better get my long rest. Bye!

-

Steven/Andres: I’m just asking genuine questions.

Olive/Daryl: My goodness.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And getting pissed off when you find out the answer.

Steven/Andres: I’m fine. I’m not…

[laughter]

Steven/Andres: I’m not actually pissed off. It’s fine.

Olive/Daryl: That was the least ‘fine’ of ‘fines.’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘I’m fine.’

Olive/Daryl: ‘Guys, I’m actually- It’s actually fine. I’m actually fine’

Steven/Andres: It’s fine. It’s fine. I’m actually fine.

Olive/Daryl: Oh my god.