Episode 6: Infiltration

The team splits up to cover more ground as they continue their investigation in Lambence. Things heat up as the festival continues and discoveries are made.

Content warnings for this week’s episode include coarse language.

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Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber is Tyrone Cross      

Andres is Steven Edwards

Daryl is Olive Jerome

Pookie is Rosemary Ochtman

Indigo is Jorja Odd

Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant.

Theme song is “Belly of The Beast” by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas (@lilyharnath & @henrylucas5)

Email us at portalquandary@gmail.com 

Our ad partner this week is This Spells Disaster!

https://open.spotify.com/show/782EskRidaUHlJ8y3IvsgP?si=4d6997004aba4401

Listener names in this episode include:

Thorne - @thethornefilespodcast

Sound effects used in this episode include:

190621_0380_FR_JapaneseDrums - kevp888

Berlin Town - Synthwave Track for Retrowave and Games - kjarten_abel

News Show Loop - SergeQuadrado

Breaking News - LulSayer

Bagpipers.m4a - shelf-employed

Pan Flute PanPipe Loop Kygo Style 02 Cm 84bpm - CarlosCarty

Walkman Memories - LogicMoon

Magic Aura Shimmer - EminYILDIRIM

Horizons - frankum

This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred.

Transcript

Jorja/Indigo: Portal Quandary has content warnings. Check the description for them I guess, I don’t care.

Tyrone/Thaumus: Good morning my friends. How are you today? (quietly) oh yes - ah- (regular) I have exciting news for you if you find yourself gifted with magic but are struggling to use it! I, Thaumus of Lambence, have opened my very own school of magic here in the Wayfarer’s City! I can teach you exciting and fun new spells, how to channel your magic, the best way to keep your spellbook organised - oh, actually, yes, you should make sure you have a book ready to keep your notes and spells in. Ah! And something to help you channel your magic- not always necessary but it can be very helpful depending on the nature of your magic… Well, we can cover that in one of the first classes. Enrolment is open to any and all! Come with an open mind, a fresh notebook, and some basic components. Or- (distant) They won't know-? Oh. (regular) I can provide components. If you wish to attend, you may ring me back on my rubyphone, though do take care not to use the public channel - I know that can be confusing for- (distant) They don't have - I thought you said people use phones. Yes - ruby phones! Mobile phones? What's - never mind. (regular) Come to Thaumus’ School of Magic if you want to change your life for the better! Now, here is something I have learned from you, city of Melbourne:  Siri: end call! (clears throat)  Siri: end. Call. Oh, for-”

(shuffling sounds)

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hello. Welcome back to Portal Quandary: Atrius. We are up to episode six. Last we left, Daryl was infiltrating the Kingsgrove, Indigo and Pookie were being menaces and stealing from merchants, and Andres made a new magic bestie and started talking to their patron finally. I was to kick… Kickstart this-

Rosie/Pookie: The cat.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I do want to kick the cat to be honest, and speaking of the cat, I do want to start with Indigo and the cat, which is a great name for a band.

Jorja/Indigo:I agree. 

Rosie/Pookie: That’s actually really good.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s Indigo’s new band. You guys are hiding in an alleyway from some merchants. What do you want to do?

Jorja/Indigo: So, I was wearing my big T-shirt and my pants, but the armour that I’m wearing allows me to change the appearance of the clothes that I’m in. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Why don’t you talk a little bit more about your armour that you’re wearing because you haven’t talked about that before. 

Jorja/Indigo: Because it hasn’t been brought up. So, essentially what I imagine is - you know those things people wear to keep their backs straight under their clothes, and waist trainer and stuff - I imagine it to be something underneath her big baggy clothes that’s a leather armour type thing. Kind of like a binder-

Steven/Andres: A corset.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, yeah. It’s just that underneath, but her music teacher gave it to her, and it allows her to change what she is wearing, so she’s going to change what she’s wearing because she feels like she’s very easily spotted in all black. So, she’s going to change it to be like light blue jeans and then a burnt orange sweater, and then she’s going to tie her hair up so that she looks completely different. Unrecognisable one might say.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. We talked about Andres's Cape of the Mountebank, and now Jorja has chosen the Glamour Armour. 

Jorja/Indigo: Yes, Glamour Studded Leather Armour.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We’ve got a new disguise. You do still have the cat that is now larger. They’ve put on some weight.

Rosie/Pookie: I have a solution.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh no.

Steven/Andres: ‘I would like to present a solution.’

Rosie/Pookie: ”Indigo, you go on ahead. I’m going to climb the walls and shadow you from above.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I feel like you may be seen.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m a little, black cat.”

Jorja/Indigo: “You’re kind of bigger than normal.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What!?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep, and also, we’re surrounded by walls that are levels where are higher than you and can look down onto the roofs. Just a thought.”

Rosie/Pookie: “But if I stay on the walls, no-one’s going to look on the walls because they’ll be looking out.”

Jorja/Indigo: “You do you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you going to cast Spider Climb?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From memory last time, it is your saliva. You lick your paws with sticky saliva.

Jorja/Indigo: I do. So, I’m sitting there and licking my paws in the alley, and then I’m going to climb up the wall.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You will, however, roll for your Wild Magic Surge.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Sixteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You are safe. We’re up to one, two, three, or four. Where are you going, Indigo?

Jorja/Indigo: Well, I guess near the walls. So,it's just a bunch of stalls and people walking around?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, that’s this section. It does look like whatever was happening in front of the tree has finished now, so some sort of dance party is starting to happen. They’ve got the drum and everyone is starting to… It’s no formal dance. It’s not a waltz or anything. People are dancing how their heart feels. 

Jorja/Indigo: Does it give house party vibes? Are they drunk, or are they on something, or are they just weird?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A little bit of both.

Jorja/Indigo: Is there anyone around who looks familiar with the area, but isn’t a fairy? Because that little old lady - she’s actually quite young, but she gives little, old lady-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She serves.

Jorja/Indigo: She said there was a couple of people who could go in and out, so I’m trying to see if there’s anyone who’s not fairy who looks like they know the area.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s an Investigation.

Steven/Andres: Aren’t you being chased by a guard?

Jorja/Indigo: No, I’m hidden. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A little bit, but she has changed outfits.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Eight.

Steven/Andres: Sick.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eight. There’s the Melbourne city information people just standing around.

Jorja/Indigo: I don’t want to converse with them. I’ll just start making my way to the dance.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s mostly just hanging out on this bottom bit. Fairies are just vibing. There’s a couple of citizens that are trying to get it on.

Jorja/Indigo: Is there anyone who looks off to the side, possibly like you know when you get drunk and you’re like, ‘I need a minute,’ and you sit off to the side? Is there anyone here doing that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like a fairy, or like a- Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: A fairy.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s not really anyone taking a break. There does seem to be someone who’s almost facilitating it. Rainbow-colored wings, like a patchwork rainbow. They’ve got a one-man band situation. They’ve got a hand drum strapped to the side. They’ve got bagpipes strapped to the other. They’ve got an over the top crane thing so that they can play the harmonica. They’re facilitating, clapping, playing some drums. 

Jorja/Indigo: Okay, I’ll go stand over near them, and does it look like they can talk, or are they too busy?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’ll swap from the bagpipes to the drums. They’re like:

Tyrone/Exto: “Hello! How can I help?”

Jorja/Indigo: Fuck. “Hello. I like your set-up with all the instruments. It’s cool.”

Tyrone/Exto: “Yes, do you play instruments too?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I do. So, is this your job here?”

Tyrone/Exto: “My name is Exto. I’m the Minister of Festivities, so this is my job.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s cool. Do you guys recruit new people to play music with you guys, or…?”

Tyrone/Exto: “I mean, we’ve only just been open to the public, so usually it’s just been fairies so far, but we could have a word with the Head of Culture.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s cool. Do you accept new fairies because I know a few people who are into music that got changed into fairies, and I think that they were looking to…”

Tyrone/Exto: “Again, I think this falls under the other category of new people in general being involved. Just because you’re a fairy doesn’t mean that you’re the same kind of fairy. Does that make sense? You’re a fairy, but you’re not culturally a part of Lambence.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh okay, so you guys just haven’t had anyone else in here since you guys got here, or…?”

Tyrone/Exto: “They’ve kept us locked up honestly, but it leaves a lot of time for partying, so I haven’t been complaining very much.”

Jorja/Indigo: Can I Insight check them?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fifteen. They are very stir crazy. They haven’t talked to somebody in a long time, so it seems like they are probably telling the truth.

Jorja/Indigo: “Do you need any help?”

Tyrone/Exto: “Yeah sure, do you have an instrument?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.” I pull out the pipes. The pan-pipes.

Tyrone/Exto: “Ooo, the pipes! Let’s go!” He’s going to start playing his bagpipes.

Jorja/Indigo: I play my little pan-pipes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Performance. That’s fun.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: That’s an eleven.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re being drowned out by the bagpipes a bit, I think.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m okay with that. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re sitting there playing your pipes, but no-one can hear you.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m giving the illusion of help though.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘I’m helping.’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘I’m helping.’

Rosie/Pookie: While this is happening, you’re going to hear in your head, “Indigo, I’ll be back in a moment. I’m going to explore.”

Jorja/Indigo: Fuck.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m near the tree, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to climb up the tree because it’s really big, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, I’m going to explore the tree because if it’s so big there must be secrets hidden there. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth.

Jorja/Indigo: What is the time?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Almost eleven.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. Another hour.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Twenty-one Stealth.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Twenty-one?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Very well. No-one seems to stop you from doing that.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, incredible. Okay, I’m climbing up the tree. Is there any interesting hidey-holes? I’m thinking holes in the tree where little critters are living, or little tree house folk. You know The Magic Faraway Tree? I’m thinking like that. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like, there's little notches where an owl might live, or some little animals might live.

Rosie/Pookie: Are there secret, hidden, magic things?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Are there secret, hidden, magic things?’

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: It’s a valid question, Tyrone.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: Are there secret, magic, hidden things?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: If you continue climbing, you will eventually reach the balcony where the king flew before. If you want to go up that high.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going all the way to the top. I’m scouring this tree top to bottom.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, there’s the balcony where the king went, and there’s another balcony on top of that, and then you’re at the branches. 

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to the branches.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to the branches. Roll me an Investigation.

Rosie/Pookie: I have minus one Investigation. I forgot. I’m doing this with advantage.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, okay, okay. Tides of Chaos.

Rosie/Pookie: Yep.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Fuck.

Rosie/Pookie: So, my choices are either one or three. I’ll go with three.

Steven/Andres: Look at all the leaves and branches.

Rosie/Pookie: Honestly, a cat would be so overwhelmed with the experience of being on top of such a high tree.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, it’s like a skyscraper almost. There is a really, really interesting leaf right on the far end of a branch.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m walking out to get it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll me a Dexterity check.

Rosie/Pookie: Can I do advantage again? Can you make me do a Wild Magic Surge so I can do advantage again?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I can only do that when you roll a spell, I think. It is a saving throws, so you get extra bonuses, I think. Dexterity saving throw please, and no, I will not be doing that.

Rosie/Pookie: Why? I want advantage. 

Steven/Andres: These are the consequences of your actions, my dear.

Rosie/Pookie: No!

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A gust of wind comes by and shakes the branch a bit, but you manage to hold on, and you get this super cool leaf.

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m so scared from the- I got so shook. I’m on top of the tree right now. Indigo.”

Steven/Andres: What is the distance of that?

Jorja/Indigo: How… Yeah. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t think she can hear you.

Rosie/Pookie: “Indigo!”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We’re going to leave you right there for a minute.

Rosie/Pookie: Just on top of the tree, hanging out. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Andres, you’ve just finished some lessons at school.

[boppy synthwave music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you sticking around school, or are you going somewhere else? You were running out last time I heard.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, I think I was done, so I’m leaving. I guess, maybe I’ll quickly pop my head back in and ask Thaumus where I can find here.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Oh, hello to you too. That was an excellent goodbye. You can ask for me at the Kingsgrove. You can’t go up, of course, but you just let them know you’re here, and I’ll come down and meet you, I guess.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, you live in the giant tree.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Some might say that, yes.”

Steven/Andres: “Who might say that?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “The people at the door.”

Steven/Andres: “Ah, so wait, do you live at the tree or not?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “I find it best not to disclose. Continue.”

Steven/Andres: Can I persuade?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: Tell me your secrets magic woman.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Oh shit.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh shit.

Steven/Andres: I got a fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She got an eighteen Charisma save. 

Steven/Andres: I’m going to give myself Guidance.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: I didn’t beat you.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How did Guidance work?

Steven/Andres: I place my hand on my Japanese Book For Dummies and pray for help from my lady friend.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: *whispering* ‘Please let this work. Please let this work. Please let this work. Please let this work.’

Steven/Andres: *whispering* ‘Give me rizz. Give me rizz. Give me rizz.’

Olive/Daryl: *whispering* ‘Help me to give you bodies. Help me to give you bodies. Please, please, please.

Steven/Andres: ‘Help me help you.’

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You are a charming young man, but I shan’t be giving that away.”

Steven/Andres: “Thank you. Oh, okay. Well, I will ask for you later at the Kingsgrove.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Yes, trot on now.”

Steven/Andres: “Okay. Bye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Where are you off to?

Steven/Andres: What time is it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What did I say? Eleven.

Steven/Andres: I finished a little early. That’s unlike me.

Olive/Daryl: Andres, damn.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m not even going to warrant that.

Steven/Andres: I don’t know. That’s a very good question. What else is in my pamphlet?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There was the stalls. There was the Kingsgrove. There was the museum. There was the tea ceremony, but you can see that that has passed - the time has passed - and there was also the Moving Day dance happening as well. 

Steven/Andres: From the height that I’m at because I’m not on the ground level, if I look down to the ground, how far up am I?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Two floors.

Steven/Andres: Two floors? 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Which is bigger than a normal floor because it’s an entire city. I almost want ot say one hundred feet up. Yeah.

Steven/Andres: Okay, and how many floors does this city have?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eight layers.

Steven/Andres: Okay, so eight layers to the city, and I’m on the second layer?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. Yes.

Steven/Andres: Okay, maybe I’ll use the walkie-talkie and check in with HQ, and just be like, *radio* “Do you guys have any idea of what I should be doing? I still have an hour until I’m supposed to be meet up with the rest of the group.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Andres, how’s it going? Where have you gone so far?”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “I went to the magic school.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Nothing there?”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “No, not really. Well, there was a magic teacher there, but she couldn’t really teach me anything. She said I was a warlock,a dn then she kind of looked down upon me.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Right, that sounds like a personal mission, not our mission.”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “No, exactly, so do you have anything that I could be doing?”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Well, is there somewhere they’re hiding something? Somewhere where people aren’t allowed, or maybe there’s a place you can go, but then there’s no access in it?”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “I mean, I only went into one classroom. There was five others. Maybe I’ll go check them.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Sure, go snoop.”

Steven/Andres: *radio* “Okay, I’m going to turn my radio off now. Bye.”

Tyrone/Thorne: *radio* “Bye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, everyone’s radios are off.

Steven/Andres: We’re not stupid. Well, we are, but I’m going to head back to the school. I’m going to avoid the room where Thaumus was in obviously, which was the middle one, so maybe I’ll go to one on the left and jiggle the handle. Is it open?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Yes, it opens. 

Steven/Andres: Oh, cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, they’ve stopped for a morning tea break, so there’s no-one here at the moment. They’ve taken a  short break.

Steven/Andres: Okay. Sure, I’ll go straight up to the teacher’s desk and start rifling through drawers.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus Christ. Roll an Investigation.

Steven/Andres: Well, I’m snooping now. I give myself Guidance.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: How’s a fifteen? Thanks mum. I feel like my patron’s behind me and she points. She’s like, ‘Bruh.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s the Guidance. You’re looking through the papers and a paper rustles. ‘This one, idiot.’ Yeah actually, a little paper will float into your hands. 

Steven/Andres: Oh, stunning. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s a notice to the teachers to meet Thaumus a couple of nights ago to talk about the ‘infiltration' - is the word used - but that’s really all that’s said on that.

Steven/Andres: It’s a notice about the meeting?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, it’s like, ‘Please come to this place at this time to talk about the recent infiltration.’

Steven/Andres: Right, what is this place?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Come to Kingsgrove and ask for Thaumus.’

Steven/Andres: What date is that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Two days ago. 

Steven/Andres: Well, that ain’t going to fly. Okay, well I guess I will leave this classroom then, and skip the one Thaumus is in and skip to the next one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a class in there. 

Steven/Andres: I will leave that room.

Tyrone/Teacher: “Oh, did you need some help, dear?”

Steven/Andres: “Na, all good.” I close the door, and then I'll go across the corridor to the next room because there are six of them.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think the Melbourne information person is going to be like:

Tyrone/Worker: “Excuse me, you.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh yeah, what’s up?”

Tyrone/Worker: “Are you lost?”

Steven/Andres: “Na, na, I’m all good.”

Tyrone/Worker: “You’ve gone into a few of the classrooms now. They’re all the same.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, yeah, but that one was shit.”

Tyrone/Worker: “But it’s the same. It’s the same thing.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, but I’ve attended a couple of sessions now, and that teacher’s garbage. I’m looking for a better one.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception.

Steven/Andres: Oh, man.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Fifteen. No, sixteen. Hang on, I’m going to give myself Guidance.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Seventeen.

Olive/Daryl: Guidance is OP. It’s so good.

Steven/Andres: I should just roll the d4 with everything.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Worker: “Oh, very well. There’s one more class over there on the right.”

Steven/Andres: This is a Melbourne info person, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Steven/Andres: I just say, “Oh, yeah, yeah, no worries. Thaumus has just asked me to go into this classroom and grab something for her.”

Tyrone/Worker: “Alright. Sure.”

Steven/Andres: “And what was your name, sorry?”

Tyrone/Melanie: “Melanie.”

Steven/Andres: “Okay, no worries Melanie. You’re doing really well. Keep going.”

Tyrone/Melanie: “Thank you…”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re in the classroom. I think we’ll cut over to Daryl. There’s a lot going on. Daryl hasn’t had much screen time. 

Rosie/Pookie: It's an audio format.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl.

[mysterious synthwave music with crackling static plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You have made it on the level above the library by lying to a police officer. You’ve made your way into a T-intersection where you can go straight ahead to the next set of stairs, or you can take a left into a hallway with four doors.

Olive/Daryl: Are there any guards on this floor?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, the guards were on the floor you just left.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll just start by taking a look up the stairwell. Just to see if I can potentially see anyone waiting around, or listen in to see if anyone is coming, and then… Yeah, is anyone coming?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Perception.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Perception: thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Everything seems fine. It doesn’t seem like anyone is coming. 

Olive/Daryl: Lovely. I’ll take a look down the hallway at the rooms. Any labelling on the doors?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, there will be fournames, one on each door. The first one on the left says Magnolia. The one on the right says Timmit. Further down the hallway on the left says Lucille, and on the bottom right it says Noah.

Steven/Andres: And then under Noah’s name in very bad handwriting it says Plus Beeyonce, Plus Skittles.

Olive/Daryl: And underneath Honey Boo Boo just scratched out.

Steven/Andres: RIP Honey Boo Boo.

Olive/Daryl: “I mean, that’s a flower. I don’t know what the hell that is. Tim-Tim-mit. Weird. Noah, like the ark maybe, and then Lucille. How does this tie in? Is this a puzzle? Interesting.” I’ll try one of the door handles and see if it opens.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It does open.

Olive/Daryl: Can I do a quick History check to see if any of these names ring a bell over the past six months.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Give it a roll.

Olive/Daryl: Beautiful.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Son of a bitch. Natural one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve never heard any of these people in your fucking life.

Olive/Daryl: Alright, I’ll start with the top left room then.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh yep, so you take a left and then a left. Magnolia. Do you head in?

Olive/Daryl: I will check out Magnolia’s room first. I’ll do a quick sweep, just to see if I can see anything that’s sticking out.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It appears to be a bedroom of sorts. There’s a big double bed with some dressers on the sides. It’s decorated with plants of all kinds, and there appears to be a plushie of a bunny on the bed.

Olive/Daryl: Very cute. Anything under the bed?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: More pushies.

Rosie/Pookie: Magnolia.

Olive/Daryl: Alright then, next room. I’ll not touch anything. I’ll leave everything as it is, and then I’ll go from that room into the next one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That is Lucille. The bed, you can barely see because it is covered in so many goat plushies. So, so many goat plushies.

Olive/Daryl: “That’s a lot of goats. Okay.”

Rosie/Pookie: Can I add a detail here?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Rosie/Pookie: There’s also an alarm clock, and when it goes off it goes *bleats*.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I don’t know how you would know that.

Jorja/Indigo: Can I add a detail to my room?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Jorja/Indigo: There was a goat plushie in Magnolia’s room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It was one of the ones next to-

Olive/Daryl: “Is this some sort of sacrificial thing? I don’t know. I’m going to get out of here. Alright.” I’ll check under the bed in this one as well.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just more goat plushies.

Olive/Daryl: “That’s a lot of plushies.” If I counted them all up would there be one hundred and twenty three goats?

Jorja/Indigo: It’d be one hundred and twenty two.

Olive/Daryl: One hundred and twenty two. Because you have one. That makes sense.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Theoretically, if one were to count them.

Olive/Daryl: If I was to bother sticking around and counting them, but I won’t waste ten minutes. I’ll back out of that room, and I’ll check the one directly below.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Into Noah. The bedsheets seem to be cogs and nuts and bolts. It seems something from the ceiling like a mobile. It’s got little thopters, little flying mechanical devices flying around. 

Olive/Daryl: I’ll look at one of them and give it a little wave to see if it does anything. See if it changes any trajectory.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, you know what? It starts spinning. The mobile starts spinning around in a circle. 

Olive/Daryl: Alright then, I’ll check under the bed in here too.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m going to say there’s one loose screw.

Olive/Daryl: A single loose screw?

Steven/Noah: That’s Noah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A screw loose.

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, well you never know when that’ll be handy.” I’ll take the loose screw. I’ll leave that one and go into the last one. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Timmit.

Jorja/Indigo: It’s on fire.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The bed sheets are flame bed sheets, and there is a gavel sitting on the bedside table.

Rosie/Pookie: So lame.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take a look under the bed. Anything there?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You know what? There is also a goat plushie here.

Olive/Daryl: You know what? That’s totally fair. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Someone’s pranked you.

Olive/Daryl: If I’m taking a look around, and I walk too close toward the gavel, can I feel that there’s any sort of magical potential form the gavel?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll an Arcana.

Olive/Daryl: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You are not magical at all, my dude.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It seems pretty ordinary. It seems not the right size. It’s a little replica one.

Olive/Daryl: Alright then, I’ll leave and make sure that nothing’s touched except for that one screw loose that’s gone now. I’ll close all the doors, and I’ll head up the next steps very quietly.

Steven/Noah: You son of a bitch.

Olive/Daryl: You’re welcome.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Let’s head up the stairs, shall we?

Olive/Daryl: At least you don’t have a missing screw loose.

Steven/Noah: I needed that one.

Olive/Daryl: Oh, what for?

Steven/Noah: That was for later.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s for Ron.

Olive/Daryl: Oh shit.

Steven/Noah: That’s for Ron.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s for Ron. Which stairs do you go up? The ones you came up or the other ones?

Olive/Daryl: Oh shit. Is there any signage?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, not at this point.

Olive/Daryl: Eenie, meenie, money, moe, we’re going to go to the left one, yo.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The one you didn’t come up. Sure. 

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, sure.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, we go down that one. Straight ahead are double doors, or you can head down a corridor and around a corner.

Olive/Daryl: Double doors.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just heading in?

Olive/Daryl: I’ll check to see if it’s unlocked. I’m taking this very cautiously, keeping an awareness to see if anyone’s coming close, and I’ll very cautiously open the door, and peek in to see if anyone’s inside.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This appears to be a mess hall with a big, long table with lots of chairs around it. There doens’;t appear to be anyone in it. There is food on the table though. There looks to be tea. There also looks to be mass amounts of fairy bread.

Olive/Daryl: Alright, we’ll move.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What, are you going in there or are you going somewhere else?

Olive/Daryl: Somewhere else.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Around the corridor, taking a left turn, there’s a double door again to your left - which probably seems to go into the same room based on your sneak peek - or there’s a door to your right, or one up the corridor before it takes a left.

Olive/Daryl: I think, unless the doors have any sort of writing on them - I’ll open all of them - I’ll continue around until I get to the staircase.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, cool. Yep, you just see the double doors in front of that staircase as well.

Olive/Daryl: Yep, I’ll go up the staircase.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh damn, you are just met with a long corridor with two double doors in front of you and two halfway down.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take a peek into the first one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth.

Olive/Daryl: Ooo, okay.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, so this appears to be similarly a big, long table, but there’s no food or anything on it. This has paperwork scattered all over it with seven chairs around it. There’s a board at the back that’s got papers stuck all over it. There appears to be two guards looking at the paperwork on the board, but they;’ve got their backs turned to you.

Olive/Daryl: Can I see what’s on the board from this distance if I take out my glasses and put them on?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is that a Perception or an Investigation?

Olive/Daryl: Perception.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it? Sure, roll a Perception.

Olive/Daryl: Because I’m not looking in it, I’m looking from afar.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: That would be an eighteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From what you can gleam, it is notices to guards about staying vigilant, and it also seems like the guards are rifling through it in a hurry, trying to look through the papers.

Olive/Daryl: They're up towards the back of the room right now?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, behind that last chair is a board, a pinboard.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah beautiful, I’m going to sneak into the room and climb under the table, and I’ll wait for a minute and see if they’re going to move.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh Jesus. Okay. They don’t seem to be moving any time soon, but they’re whispering to each other.

Tyrone/Guard: *whispering* “It’s got to be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.”

Olive/Daryl: I’m going to take out my phone and double check to make sure that the silence is switched on. Absolutely silent. Stealth op, and then I’ll turn the phone on and I will hit record. I’ll place the phone on the ground and slide it over slightly. I’ll click the phone on and just let it record, and see if it picks up any of the chatter. I’ll stay hidden until they leave.

Tyrone/Guard: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He said it would be here, right? This is the spot. Where else would it be? Obviously they’re on high alert already. How are we going to get out of here? Ther’es so many fucking people. Argh. I guess we could try next door in the king’s room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, that’s the basis of it, and then they’re going to turn to head to the door to try and leave. We will head back to Indigo who is playing pan-pipes.

[drums and pan-pipes start playing]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hello.

Jorja/Indigo: Yes?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Three blind mice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master + Jorja/Indigo: Three blind mice.

Jorja/Indigo: Does it look like anyone’s being particularly weird or jumpy? If anyone’s on edge or keeping an eye out especially hard.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is an Investigation please.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Five.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is too much information in front of you, so no. Everyone looks out of place.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay, so on the map there’s a museum?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to the museum.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Let’s go girls.

Jorja/Indigo: Let’s go girls.

Olive/Daryl: *Sings the opening tune from Man! I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain.*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s on this level, but it’s near the wall. Let’s head to the museum please.

-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I hope you’re enjoying episode six, the mystery is really starting to build in this episode. However, we need you to be an NPC in our show. We’re naming NPCs after listeners this season, so if you want to have a character named after you, head over to our Instagram and check out the pinned post. All you need to do is share that to your story, and be sure to tag us so we see it! We didn’t have any new listener names in this episode, but there’s room for more, so get sharing. Let’s quickly head over to the ad, this week featuring This Spells Disaster. 

This Spells Disaster Ad Read: Action. “Jeb takes ten damage as an arrow slams into him from the front.” Adventure. “My definition of dangerous is anything that  gives me butterflies.” Backflips? “I think if Miee tries to do a backflip, they should have disadvantage on the pure fact that they don’t have a spine that moves.” This Spells Disaster is a live-play, TTRPG podcast where we play the campaign: Tears of Irelion - a homebrew campaign by our Dungeon Master, Nathan, using the D&D 2014 rulesets. “He’s quaking in his little boots that he doesn’t wear” “I just want to watch Illie eat mash potatoes.” Join the party known as Vertically Challenged as they traverse the lands of Irelion in the search of missing children as chaos, misfortune, and dragons find them at every turn. “That’s your job.” “We know that’s a dragon or whatever.” Join us as hijinks and shenanigans ensue each and every episode of This Spells Disaster. Check us out wherever you listen to podcasts. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Before we get back to the episode, I just want to talk about our Patreon. We’ve got tiers for every level of support. The entry tier provides access to character and monster sheets, ad-free episodes, and this season we’re introducing maps. I’ve started upping my map game, and you can check them out on the lowest tier on Patreon. That middle tier provides all of that plus access to bonus episodes like our The Quiet Year mini-series telling the history of Prophis, the world of season two. That highest tier provides access to early access episodes, which are usually coming out between two and three weeks before official release. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to the episode. Episode seven will be coming out Friday, May ninth. Enjoy.

-

[melodic electronic music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Welcome to the museum. It’s this big square, stone building. It’s got these rounded pillars like Greek architecture, I guess. Those sort of pillars, with big double doors heading inside. I assume we’re heading inside?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is reception. There’s a little desk there with a little fairy lady and she’s got a red gem and she’s talking into it like:

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Oh my god, I can’t believe he said that to her. Oh my- Hi!”

Jorja/Indigo: “Hello.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “You’d like to come in?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, sure.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “The entrance is here on the left, and then you come out here on the right. Your left, not my left. Anyways.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, is there anything I should know?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s pulling out a paper in front of her.

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Welcome to the museum of Lambence, the Wayfarers’ City where you will start a millenia ago and you will work your way through our history and come out in the land of tomorrow by the end. That is all. There’s a couple of talks in there too at the moment. Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay. Is this your job?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Do you like it?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Yeah, it pays the bills.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, is there anything cool to know about the museum? Anything interesting that most people don’t know?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Let me think. Well, we’ve recently updated it just for you guys because there’s this whole section at the end now because obviously that’s about the future, and the future is now.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “There’s this really cool projector map thing in there. Around the corner a little bit and straight ahead there’s this cool map. Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay. What did that person say?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Oh my god, do you want to hear about Jennifer?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes, I do.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “So, Jennifer’s been dating this guy, Daniel, right? But then Daniel’s also been talking to this other girl.”

Jorja/Indigo: “What!?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Yeah, right? This girl named Miley.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh my god. That’s crazy.” While she’s talking, I want to look at her desk to see if there’s anything of note on there. Is there anything of note on the desk? Does it look like there’s…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s such an excellent question. Roll an Investigation. That’s the word of the day.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: For fuck’s sake, man.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What did you get?

Rosie/Pookie: Just roll good.

Jorja/Indigo: One.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh. She’s going to be like:

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Excuse me. I was here telling you my story about Jennifer, and you’re just looking at my shit.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Sorry, I’m just trying to listen. I feel like if I look at someone too much I get lost in their eyes.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Okay, but you’re looking at important paperwork.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Sorry, I didn’t realise. Keep going Okay, Brad.”

Steven/Andres: ‘I didn’t want to get lost in your eyes.’

Tyrone/Receptionist: “I think I said Daniel actually. There was nothing about Brad, but there is a Brad.”

Steven/Andres: There’s always a Brad.

Jorja/Indigo: There’s always a Brad.

Tyrone/Receptionist: “So, Daniel’s been talking to Miley, but he’s also been talking to Brad. Can you believe that?”

Jorja/Indigo: “What the hell?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “As well as Jennifer.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s too many people. Why does he do that?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “I know right? Does he have a schedule? How does he keep track of them all?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, do they not see the messages from each other?”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “Anyway, I need to keep talking to Jennifer.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, I’ll go do the tour, and then update me when I come out.”

Tyrone/Receptionist: “There’ll be an essay.

Jorja/Indigo: I leave immediately and shudder. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus Christ. That was a lot.

Olive/Daryl: Mission failed successfully. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The first room has a beautiful statue of this fairy man - elegant and larger than life. It’s got a plaque that just says King Oberon the Third. You vaguely recognise him as the guy that you say in the procession. That’s all this room has: a cool statue of this guy.

Jorja/Indigo: Clearly loves himself. Onward.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Onwards.

Jorja/Indigo: Does it just say his name, or does it say anything underneath?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: King Oberon the Third, Ruler From This Year to This Year.

Jorja/Indigo: I make a mental note of that. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. Moving down the corridor, there is… You can either go straight ahead and see the projector map thing that homegirl was talking about, or you can head up a few different corridors that have painting, or one of the corridors has got another statue.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll go to the statue first.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This one is a similar looking guy, but this one just has on the plaque: King Oberon the First. It’s going to have: Founder of Lambence, the Wayfarers’ City.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay, I will continue through the hallways of art.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. This one has various paintings of some sort of fantasy land. Whether it’s woodlands or a nice beach. It’s got fairies lounging about, or it’s got fairies communing with other fairies. Fairies communing with other fantasy creatures. You can see from the plaque that this is a series of art of what they call Atrius in the early days before the exile. Yes.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. Projector.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, we’re zooming around that way?

Jorja/Indigo: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I love those projector maps that they have in museums where it has the town and then they do the different things on top of it. This seems to be Lambence, this big tower structure in the middle, and then it is surrounded by this golden field of reeds as they have it.

Jorja/Indigo: Is there anyone else in this room at this moment?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, the museum doesn’t seem all that popular, which is whack.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to take some photos of that on my cellular device.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What sort of phone does she have?

Jorja/Indigo: She’s an iPhone kid.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eww. Does she stay up to date?

Jorja/Indigo: No, she works at McDonalds rarely.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Mummy doesn’t buy it?

Jorja/Indigo: No.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It does change to have four different quadrants - different colours.

Jorja/Indigo: I take photos of that too.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s an overhead speaker telling a story, like:

Tyrone/Speaker: *speaker* “The world of Prophis was a world of the elements. We had the four regions: one of fire; one of water; one of air; and one of earth. These were all slowly eaten away by what we called Glamos, which was these reeds that took over everything like an infestation.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, like cane toads. Okay.”

Tyrone/Speaker: *speaker* “So, Lambence, the Wayfarers’ City, how it got its name is that it would teleport as you see here now.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It teleports.

Tyrone/Speaker: *speaker* And we would teleport to new locations where Glamos had not touched, and yet it always seemed to find us.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Damn, that sucks. Next room.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a left or a right up there. You can’t really see… There is a sign that says To the Lecture Theatre or To the Council Exhibit.

Jorja/Indigo: Can I pop my head into what I assume is the lecture theatre to the left? Is there anyone in there?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. Surprisingly, no.

Jorja/Indigo: I didn’t think so, and I’m guessing that’s a lectern at the top.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, it’s a little dais - a little platform - for them to stand on.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll go and have a look. Is there anything on it, in it, behind it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There appears to be pages - ten to twenty pages - on a speech that someone’s going to give. It’s their speech verbatim. The title is The Exile of The Summer Court.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll take photos of this speech.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re like, ‘I’m not reading that shit.’

Jorja/Indigo: Onward. Is that a door?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That is a door.

Jorja/Indigo: Through the door. I’ll pop my head in very quietly.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Would you like to roll a Stealth?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, let’s see if my dice fuck me.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: That’s not as bad. A sixteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Someone does see you; however, someone you briefly saw in the procession - one of the people that were walking down the big ramp - they look to be tied on one of those chairs. This appears to be a staff room of some kind. There’s a fridge immediately to your left, and then there’s a series of tables for people to eat at. Someone’s just tied up there.

Tyrone/Captive: “ *struggling* “

Jorja/Indigo: What’s in the fridge?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus.

Jorja/Indigo: No, I’ll go over.

Tyrone/Captive: “ *struggling* “

Jorja/Indigo: I”m assuming they’re all tied up and they’ve got a gag on.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. No, she just sounds like that. 

Jorja/Indigo: She’s a muppet.

Steven/Andres: She can’t speak.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll take the gag out.

Tyrone/Captive: “Oh my god, what are you doing here? You can’t be back here, but thank you. Oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Well, first of all, no-one’s around to tell me I can’t go back here. I was given no instructions.”

Tyrone/Captive: *whispering* “Be careful, okay? There’s some guys over there.”

Jorja/Indigo: “What?”

Tyrone/Captive: *whispering* “There’s some guys down the hallway. You need to be careful.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And they did this to you?”

Tyrone/Captive: *whispering* “Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “What kind of guys are they?”

Tyrone/Captive: *whispering* “Spies, I think.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh my god, spies in here? Who would do that?”

Steven/Andres: I’m picturing us walking around and arresting people.

Tyrone/Captive: “You just need to untie me and we can escape. I can get the guards.”

Jorja/Indigo: What does this person look like?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is in fact someone that I mentioned last episode. They have the purple/blue ombre wings; the purple tulip hat; the purple flower armour.

Jorja/Indigo: “How many people?”

Tyrone/Captive: “Three. Three guys.”

Jorja/Indigo: “What do they look like?”

Tyrone/Captive: “They’re disguised as our guards. They were in the skirts with the bare chests and the flower crown heads.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, well I’ll untie you, but I might go check it out.”

Tyrone/Captive: “It’s not safe. Especially for someone so young.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll untie them. “What’s your name?”

Tyrone/Lustrous: “Lustrous, and yours?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’m Indigo.”

Tyrone/Lustrous: “Please. Really, we must get going. I’ll go get the guards.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes, you do that.” I change my glamour armour to the guard outfit.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Which is bare-chested. 

[laughter]

Jorja/Indigo: Have I seen female guards?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, they’ve got the skirt, but they’ve also got the thing up here.

Jorja/Indigo: Perfect.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you’re going to go and run after them?

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to go down the hallway slowly and quietly.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, roll a Stealth. 

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Twenty-two.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Very well. There’s a long corridor. There’s  a door to the right about halfway down. It does have a corner at the very end. 

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll peek through the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It appears to go back into the exhibit.

Jorja/Indigo: I can’t see anything? Can I hear anything?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It does sound like there’s someone talking. Like, an academic speech coming from around the corner. Down and around the corner, so it sounds like people are there giving a speech.

Jorja/Indigo: So, probably not there. So, that’s in that back corner?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, so if you went down the corridor and took a left, it would be down that way.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll keep going to the end and see where that goes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Around the corner you can hear:

Tyrone/Guard 1: *whispering* “It’s here somewhere. It’s one of those pieces. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that one. I think that’s the one she wants.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to listen for a moment.

Tyrone/Guard 1: *whispering* “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s the one. That looks exactly like her. You should get that one. Oh, there’s this one too. It’s him and her. She probably wants both. Let’s get both. Both is good.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ll hear footsteps coming back towards where you are. 

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to wait for them to round the corner.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Jorja/Indigo: And cast Zone of Truth.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. How does that manifest?

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to - once they come around the corner - I’ll be like, “Well, well, well, what did you find?” and as the words leave my mouth, there's a little sparkle shimmer to it, and within a fifteen foot radius in a point I choose there’s a faint stillness to the air, and they need to make a Charisma save.

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That one got twenty-two. That one got seventeen. That one got eleven.

Jorja/Indigo: The eleven fails, so the person who rolled an eleven can’t lie, but they are aware, so they can avoid answering questions.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Tyrone/Guard 1: “Wait, hold up. Are you from the tree squad, or what are you doing here?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’ve been sent to check your progress.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: It’s an eighteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you in the Zone of Truth?

Jorja/Indigo: I get to choose it, so no.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh okay. So, no. Yeah, I rolled a sixteen on my Charisma save.

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: One did roll a dirty, dirty twenty though. Some of them are like:

Tyrone/Guard 1: “Yeah, we just got-”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And the other one is like:

Tyrone/Guard 2: “Shh, shh, shh, shh.”

Jorja/Indigo: Which one failed the Zone of Truth because I think it’s important to know which one failed the Zone of Truth and which one knows I’m lying. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It was the last one for both, so I’ll say that the order is the same order, so the guy who succeeded on the check is the guy who failed the other check. 

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Tyrone/Guard 2: “I don’t think that’s one of our boys.”

Jorja/Indigo: Has tits. 

Tyrone/Guard 2: “I don’t think that’s one of my boys.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’m above your pay grade. You’re not supposed to know who I am, but I need to know who you are and what you’re up to. You’re taking too long. Did you find it? She wants to know.”

Tyrone/Guard 1: “Yes, we found it. Why does she want to know?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Because you’re taking too long. Show me.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Yeah, they’ll show you. They’ve got a big, fuck off portrait. It appears to be of this very elegant fairy woman. She’s standing there posing and holding a scepter. She’s got icy blue wings and she’s got a crown made out of icicles, and a light blue dress, and I will cut to Pookie., I think was next, up a tree.

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hello.

Rosie/Pookie: Hello. Yes, so I’ve got the leaf in my mouth still because it’s a very important leaf.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Of course. As we established.

Rosie/Pookie: So, now I’m going to begin making my way back down the tree. On my way though, I want to look into the rooms that I passed on my way to the very top.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Will you stop in your first one on the way down - being the tallest room - or the second one down?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes, the tallest room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Welcome. You’re on the balcony having a look. There’s a glass door, so you can see through. From what you can see there’s a lot of purple curtains around, and there’s a low table and chairs in the corner, and there’s some sort of partition hiding stuff. You can’t see any people.

Rosie/Pookie: I would like to put my little paw up to the glass door and try to wiggle into it and pull the door open. Like with glass doors, you know how they slide? 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, this isn’t a sliding door. This is a doorknob, like a handle.

Rosie/Pookie: In that case, I’m going to jump up and try to pull the handle. Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, that’ll work. I was like, ‘You get in the room. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, but you get in.’

Rosie/Pookie: Cool. I want to run up and jump up onto the bed and give it a sniff.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, you find a bed behind the partition. It smells of very strong perfume.

Rosie/Pookie: Do I recognise it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No. 

Rosie/Pookie: Interesting. Okay, I’m going to do a  little circle of the room to see if there’s anything weird looking.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll an Investigation.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, with my negative one. 

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Seventeen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A seventeen. Giving a rough description, on the other side of the bed, behind the bed, there appears to be a tome - a big, thick book with a lock on it - sitting on the desk. Along that whole right hand wall is bookshelves. Just around is general is little trinkets of all sorts. Like, little, metal charms or gems or cool rocks, but on the low table and chairs that I described before there appears to be a weird looking key. It has a bit of a glow about it.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, I’m going to go over to that key, and first off, I’m going to take the leaf out of my mouth, and then I’m going to gently pick up the key and then also try to put the leaf back into my mouth with the key in there at the same time because they’re both very important.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, of course.

Rosie/Pookie: And then I’m going to trot off on out of that room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Back out the balcony?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes, back out onto the tree.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh okay, sure.

Rosie/Pookie: And then explore down to the next one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Down to the next balcony?

Rosie/Pookie: Uh-huh.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This has a double door glass situation. You can see a bedroom inside and then there’s a short table with tree stump stools around it, and you can see a fairy facing the balcony, drinking some tea, so you might want to roll a Stealth if you’d like to.

Rosie/Pookie: I think what I’d like to do is put the leaf and the key in a little nook corner hidden on the balcony. They key on top of the leaf to weigh it down.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Sure.

Rosie/Pookie: And then I’m going to go up to the door and start pawing at it and meowing and looking as sad as I possibly can.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to put his tea down. He’ll stare at you from the other side of the door for a minute.

Tyrone/King: “How did you get here?”

Rosie/Pookie: I do a little trick and turn around in a circle and sit down. That’s the trick, the turning.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to open the door and quickly pick you up.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to instantly start purring to gain this fairy’s affection. While I’m doing that I’m looking around the room for little signs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Perception for that one. 

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Eighteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Key features here include a series of goat plushies on the bed and he’s got an easel to one corner, and he’s working on what looks like a sketch of Melbourne.

Rosie/Pookie: Very interesting. Okay.

Tyrone/King: “Little cat, how did you get here? Cat’s don’t climb.”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows* “

Tyrone/King: “Very well, let’s take you outside, shall we?”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *meows aggressively* “

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to walk to the balcony and prepare to fly. 

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello, hang on, hang on. No, no, no. Don’t do that. Don’t do that.”

Tyrone/King: “You can talk.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, but please keep it a secret. Basically, I’m trying to find my family, and I thought that they might be here, and that is all I am doing. Now, I should quite like to be put down on the ground, and I shall climb down the tree.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Twenty-five.

Tyrone/King: “How do you speak?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I believe it’s when the magic came through the world, I started learning how to speak, but I have not met another cat like myself. I would like to ask though, those goats on the bed, do they belong to the goat lady?”

Tyrone/King: “You’ve met the goat lady?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I did meet the goat lady. I spoke with her as well. She gave me a ride on a goat.”

Tyrone/King: “Yes. yes, it does.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Can I have one?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to hear some rattling at the door.

Tyrone/King: “You… I’m sure she can give you one if you like. Excuse me a moment.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to head to the door and see the two guards there.

Rosie/Pookie: Well, I’m going to quickly head onto the balcony, pick up the key and leaf, and climb up the walls.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright.

Olive/Daryl: Outie.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We outie.

Rosie/Pookie: Yep, bye.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, we don’t get to see what happens with that.

Rosie/Pookie: No, no, I’m up the wall and listening. I’m up above the door on the wall with my head- You know how in Spiderman he’s on the wall and then his head peeks down on the top of the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: It’s like that thing, but a cat.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I guess you hear:

Tyrone/King: “Oh, is everything okay guards? Why are you coming in?”

Tyrone/Guard: “We thought that we heard something inside, so we’re just making sure that everything’s okay. Are you okay?”

Tyrone/King: “Ye-Yes. I just… Yes, everything is fine.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s looking back to the balcony and not seeing anything.

Tyrone/King: “Thank you. Good day.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And he closes the door.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay, I’m going to jump onto the tree and start climbing down.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How long does Spider Climb last?

Rosie/Pookie: An hour.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: An hour. Okay, it is nearing about eleven thirty or so, I reckon. IAre you going to head back down and meet up with where Indigo was?

Rosie/Pookie: On my way down I’m going to psychically talk to the king and say, “Thank you so much for not giving me away. I shall repay you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to talk psychically back in your mind. 

Rosie/Pookie: I forgot about that.

Tyrone/King: “Come visit again. We’ll talk.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Do you have any milk?”

Tyrone/King: “No.”

Rosie/Pookie: “That’s okay, I shall still come and talk. Goodbye then.”

Tyrone/King: “Goodbye.”

Rosie/Pookie: And off I trot with my little key and leaf.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: *meows* I guess we’ll jump over to Daryl. Yeah, Daryl’s the last one.

Rosie/Pookie: Dazza.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Dazza. Welcome, you are in fact on that very same level. Just on the other side of the wall under a table currently.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. We just narrowly missed each other.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It would have been great if you had met up, but alas.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, it’s not how these things go. Well, as soon as the guards leave the room, Daryl’s going to get out from under the table and is going to take a look at the documents that they were rifling through? Are they in English? Written in English?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’ll say at least some of them are because you understood some of them. The warnings, Be Vigilant. Some are in other languages. I think you’ve come to recognise that Elven is another language, and then some in Common.

Olive/Daryl: Beautiful. Did the guards close the door on their way out?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Olive/Daryl: Excellent. I’m going to take my phone back out and immediately start taking pictures of as many as I possibly can. Turning my head to make sure that no-one is going to come back in.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, Jesus. You hear from next door- You hear some talking. You don’t hear what they say, but you hear the door open, and some talking, and some closing again.

Olive/Daryl: I freeze for half a second, and then I keep going faster.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to hear the footsteps towards where those double doors are. Towards where you are.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take another half a second to wait to see if the doorknob moves at all.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They seem like they’re going to go down the stairs.

Olive/Daryl: *camera shutter sounds* Taking as many photos as I can.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fuck yeah.

Olive/Daryl: But yeah, I take photos of any many documents if I can.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, the ones that you can understand do seem to be… They say, ‘We can’t assume anyone is safe. They could be on either side. People have been caught trying to sneak in. Stay vigilant.’ It seems to be a notice to the soldiers in general.

Olive/Daryl: Okay. With that, I’m satisfied. I’ll tiptoe back out into the hallway, and then I’ve got another flight of stairs. As I pass the doorway, I’ll put my ear up against the door to hear if anyone’s in there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You don’t hear any talking.

Olive/Daryl: No movement? No anything?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Perception.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Twenty. Dirty twenty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. You’ll hear some *sipping sounds*

Olive/Daryl: Alright then, and then I’ll go up the next flight of stairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, so notably the one that you came up, it doesn’t go up anymore, but the one on the bottom half goes up more. 

Olive/Daryl: I’ll go up.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Stunning. It leads almost immediately to just a door. This is a small, tiny room with a door.

Olive/Daryl: Rattle, rattle.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It seems unlocked.

Olive/Daryl: *door creaking sound*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, what you find is that there’s purple curtains around the room. There’s a partition. Essentially, this is the room I described a moment ago to Rosie.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I’ll take a look through and see if there’s anything useful here.

Rosie/Pookie: Too bad, I got it already.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can roll an Investigation.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, alright.

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Juicy.

Olive/Daryl: Twenty-two.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I will say with a twenty-two, you do find this thick tome with a lock on it, bookshelves lined with- They’ve got notes on very topics: History, Magic, Prophis, Nobility.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll pick up the thick tome with the lock. I’ll take a look, and after having a look through the rest of the room and flipped some stuff over not finding any keys to go in it, I’ll take a photo of some of the other books. Just of the titles, and if anything stands out I might even flick through some of the pages and take some photos too.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: But then I’ll take the tome, and I’ll slip it in my bag. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You know exactly what that is, don’t you?

Olive/Daryl: If I can’t get into it now, if it happens to disappear on this day it could have been anyone. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It could have been anyone. Alright, are you going to linger in this room after that?

Olive/Daryl: After putting that in my bag, I’ll secure my little backpack, I’ll head down the stairs nice and quiet. Keeping a decent ear out if I can for anyone approaching.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just heading back down?

Olive/Daryl: Yes. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What is your destination?

Olive/Daryl: Well, I mean I’ve come up a certain flight of stairs, so I’ll probably take the opposite one down, and try to navigate my way down to the ground floor.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just right down to the ground floor?

Olive/Daryl: Yes. Trying my best to avoid people at all, if possible.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. You will head down the staircase. You will be fine up until you get back to the mezzanine library. At which point you met a guard that you have not convinced that you were allowed up because you specifically just said that you went down the other staircase. 

Olive/Daryl: As I’m coming down the stairs to here, can I peek around the corner to check to see if it’s the same guards before their swapping?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s the same guys from before, so you would have seen this guard before, but he is not the one that you convinced to go up.

Olive/Daryl: Alright, I’ll just ponder on down.

Tyrone/Guard: “Ay. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.”

Olive/Daryl: “B.”

Tyrone/Guard: “The fuck are you-”

Olive/Daryl: “Now, this is where you say C and we do the alphabet.”

Tyrone/Guard: “See, what are you doing up there?”

Olive/Daryl: “D. Do you really want to know?”

Tyrone/Guard: “Eventually yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Forget you ever saw me, and there’ll be something in it for you.”

Tyrone/Guard: “Go on.”

Olive/Daryl: “How about I take this to the king instead, and explain why you stopped me on my important mission, hey? That one was a cheeky double one for you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I guess that you can roll a Deception.

Olive/Daryl: Can I roll with advantage because that was kind of sick.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. Whatever. 

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Dirty twenty.

Tyrone/Guard: “Just carry on, alright. No need for any trouble. Sorry, sir.”

Olive/Daryl: “Kay mate. Thanks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And down you go. 

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I’ll move right along.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Andres.

Steven/Andres: Yes.

[upbeat synthwave music plays]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You are snooping another classroom.

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. Roll me another Investigation for this room.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Dirty, whore, slutty twenty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That is a very good roll. Sorry, I got distracted by ‘Dirty, whore, slutty twenty.’ 

Steven/Andres: That’s what I got.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Rifling through the desk again?

Steven/Andres: Of course.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Of course. You are going to find actually some personal files from Thaumus this time, detailing the plan for the meeting that you found the notes for before highlighting that they’ve had a series of captures of people trying to break into the city caught by the Melbourne police or by their own guard, and that it is becoming evidently clear that The Winter Court - is name dropped - The Winter Court is attempting to infiltrate Lambence. It’s telling the teachers to be on high alert and not to worry. That the council is doing everything they can to find them before they find us. Find The Winter Court before they can find us. Ta-da.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to go back to the middle classroom where Thaumus is.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s sipping her iced coffee and writing some notes.

Steven/Andres: Slay. I’m just going to walk in and be like, “Hey Thaumus.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Hello darling, I wasn’t expecting you for a while. You said that you were coming to visit me at the Kingsgrove.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, but you’re still here, so I found you. What’s The Winter Court?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Why are you asking those questions?”

Steven/Andres: “Because I have zero tact.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Why are you asking these sorts of questions?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, I’ve just been overhearing some of the guards. They’re not very quiet-”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Deception please.

Olive/Daryl: Immediate Deception.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Why didn’t I invest more into Deception? Nineteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I rolled a natural twenty. 

Steven/Andres: I was about to roll my Guidance. Nevermind.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “I thought you were a good guy, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “I am a good guy.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Then why are you lying to my face?”

Steven/Andres: “Okay fine, I found this,” and I’ll reveal the letter.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, you took it?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You’re going to explain to me right now why you’ve been looking through my things.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, the classroom was empty, so I just wanted ot have a look around to see what I could find.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “In the desk?”

Steven/Andres: “Yes.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “And that’s normal where you come from?”

Steven/Andres: “Well yeah, that’s where all the good stuff is.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Are you a spy, Andres?”

Steven/Andres: “A spy? Wh-What do you mean?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You know exactly what I mean, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “No.”

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, you can roll your Deception. Put your bloody Guidance on while you're at it.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Oh no. Ten.

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A dirty, whore twenty.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Do you want to run that one by me again?”

Steven/Andres: “Okay, fine.” I just crack under pressure. “Okay fine, I work for a… Well, I guess a kind of human organisation. We were a human organisation. I guess we’re not human anymore. People from this world are a little bit interested in how you came to be. Look, I’m just a foot soldier. Please don’t hurt me.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Who else is a part of this?”

Steven/Andres: “So, there’s Daryl. He’s an old policeman, and there’s Indigo. She’s a goth, rocker chick, and then there’s also Pookie who’s a literal cat.”

Rosie/Pookie: No!

Tyrone/Thaumus: “And where are they right now?”

Steven/Andres: “They’re here in the city with me.”

Olive/Daryl: Fuck.

Steven/Andres: Sorry, she rolled twenties.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, no. It makes sense.

Olive/Daryl: It’s so good, but it’s also just sucks.

Rosie/Pookie: It’s so funny. First day on the mission.

Steven/Andres: I’m just a good boy.

Rosie/Pookie: No, I’m excited about this. This will make it spicy.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You are in some terrible luck, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You see, this paper that you’ve stumbled on is exactly why you might be of some help.”

Steven/Andres: “Yes? Oh. What’s The Winter Court?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Other spies. Considering you don’t know who they are - and I believe you. Other spies that are currently infiltrating us, and I’d rather not have two different people spying on us. I believe that they have infiltrated our court.”

Steven/Andres: “Why would they be spying on you?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Because we have returned home after a long time.”

Steven/Andres: I mean, I guess I’ll roll an Insight into that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, sure.

Steven/Andres: I mean, I know, but Andres doesn’t know.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: A six.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re the good guys. Everything Thaumus says is the truth.

Olive/Daryl: That’s never been the case.

Rosie/Pookie: That’s how cults get started, Tyrone.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Well, he rolled a six on his Insight.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “We’ve come home after a long time away, and they did not like us very much. We’ve been hauled up here in this tower, but they’ve had free reign, and so now they’d like to get to us, and we are stuck in this tower.”

Steven/Andres: “Why are you stuck in the tower?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Because your people won’t let us leave.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, interesting. I didn’t know that. Sorry, heartfelt apologies.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “I thought that it was well known.”

Steven/Andres: “No, we were all wondering why there’s a tower of things. We were told we’re not allowed to go in, but we didn’t realise that you weren’t allowed out.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Do you know exactly where your friends are? I feel like if they are snooping like you, they might have also run into some trouble.”

Steven/Andres: “Look, they probably are snooping. I don’t exactly know where but they’d be around somewhere. I think that we're all going to meet at the bottom of the tree at twelve.” What time is it now?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Quarter to twelve. 

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, so in fifteen minutes we’ll be at the bottom of the tree, and assuming we haven’t run into any trouble we’ll be there.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “I’m going to go talk to my people.”

Steven/Andres: “Can I come?”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “No, because you are going to find your people.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, yeah, right. Makes sense.”

Tyrone/Thaumus: “Before this escalates.

Steven/Andres: “Can I please come with you?” Can I persuade?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: I’ve got a mummy thing. I’ve got a thing for mummies. She’s exuding mummy energy.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Twenty-nine. I don’t want to find my people. I want to come with you.

Tyrone/Thaumus: “You can come with me as long as you can contact your people and tell them to find you ASAP.”

Steven/Andres: “Sure.” Oh, I don’t have anyone’s phone numbers.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nope, and everyone has their radios off.

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, no worries. I’ll come with you, and then I’ll try the radio at twelve.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, and out we rush out of the school, and meanwhile I believe Jorja is about to roll initiative ready for next episode.

Jorja/Indigo: Yes. I’m so good at initiative.

Olive/Daryl: Just for context as well, as soon as I left the building it would have probably been around the same time - a quarter to twelve. The distance from the museum to under the tree?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s on the same level. It’s not too far. Like, five minutes.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, so I would have gotten to the tree a bit early, and then would have gone into the museum to check it out before meeting up at twelve. So, just keep that in mind. Depending on where I was and how that works out with the time frame I’m not sure if that would tie in with that, but that was my plan with that to do that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And I believe Pookie was heading down the tree at the same time?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Olive/Daryl: So, we could meet up.

Rosie/Pookie: We could. We could.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. As I come out from…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The tree.

Olive/Daryl: The tree, and you come down alongside it, I’ll come out and see this black cat.

Rosie/Pookie: Am I still big?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s been more than ten minutes.

Olive/Daryl: “Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “ *mumbles* “ I’ve got things in my mouth.

Olive/Daryl: “Pookie, what have you got there?”

Rosie/Pookie: I very, very excitedly and proudly, like when a cat drops a mouse at your doorstep, drop them at your feet. It’s a key and a leaf.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh wow, these are very nice treasures.”

Rosie/Pookie: They’re covered in spit.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, delightful.” I’ll reach down, and I’ll pick up the key and the leaf. I’ll rub them off on the ground a little bit to try and get rid of the saliva. “This leaf is pretty. Where did you find this?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I was at the top of the tree I was at the very top of the tree, and I climbed all the way out on a branch to get that lead because it looks so very pretty, and I got a feeling inside that it’s very, very important to our mission, so I got it for us so that we can win.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, it’s fantastic. I mean, you should hold onto it.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I unfortunately cannot keep it in my mouth forever because it will disintegrate from my saliva, so if you can keep it on your person.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, I’ll keep it there. And they key?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you. Yes, I found it in a room at the very top of the castle tower, or whatever building it was.”

Olive/Daryl: “At the very top? Like, the top top room with the purple drapes and everything.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, exactly. I also spoke to another man in a room a bit further down.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh okay. Wait, I mean… You didn’t talk to me, did you?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No.”

Olive/Daryl: “Okay, good.”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, it was another man. He invited me for tea, and he knows the goat lady. Do you know the goat lady?”

Olive/Daryl: “No, I don’t know the goat lady. I did see a lot of goat plushies.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, yes, I saw some of those as well.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very disturbing. I mean, it was too many.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, there was a lot of goats. It was a bit weird.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, it is a bit of a theme here, and I don’t know what the deal is. Anyway, that’s interesting.” I’ll take the key, and I’ll pop it in my back pocket. “I was about to head over to the tree, but we’re a bit early, so I thought I’d go over to the museum. Do you want to come with me?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I may as well, I suppose. Yes, I’ll trot along with you.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, you’re welcome to climb up on the shoulder if you’d like.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I already have.”

Olive/Daryl: And then we’ll head over.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Stunning, and we will cut it there.

Jorja/Indigo: Did you want me to roll initiative now or next time?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, we’ll forget. Let’s do it at the start of next episode.

Jorja/Indigo: What if it’s a twenty? If it’s a twenty can I keep it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, but roll it anyway.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, good. We’ll do it next time.

[melodic synthwave music plays]

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you so much for listening to Portal Quandary. Portal Quandary is made possible by the following people: Myself, Tyrone Cross as Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber, Steven Edwards as Andres, Olive Jerome as Daryl, Rosemary Ochtman as Pookie, and Jorja Odd as Indigo. Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant and that theme song is Belly of the Beast by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas. We’re on a bunch of social media, including Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Patreon. All of which are @portalquandary. Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y. This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people, and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

Theme Song: [rock music continues]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, (in the belly of the beast), to make it home we can’t accept defeat, (there’s no turning back) so roll the dice and come along with me, (come along with me, let’s go), finding home in the belly of the beast.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl hasn't had much screen time.

Rosie/Pookie: It’s an audio format.

Olive/Daryl: I can be on the big screen if I want to. Perhaps someone is listening to this audio file on an iPad. That’s a big screen.

Rosie/Pookie: I wonder what happens if we just let Olive keep on talking and not say anything.

Olive/Daryl: Everything will be cut from the recording. 

Steven/Andres: We would have three hours of unusable footage.

Olive/Daryl: I can say whatever the fuck I want because it will never see the light of day.

Rosie/Pookie: Go on.

Olive/Daryl: You all are a bunch of-

[laughter]