Episode 11: Behind the Velvet Rope

Its time to get S.H.I.F.T.Y. at the Society for Humans Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed Yearly! Our party must investigate Flinders Street Station and schmooze their way out of suspicion. 

Content warnings for this week’s episode include coarse language, fantasy violence, and references to alcohol.

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Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber is Tyrone Cross      

Andres is Steven Edwards

Daryl is Olive Jerome

Pookie is Rosemary Ochtman

Indigo is Jorja Odd

Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant.

Theme song is “Belly of The Beast” by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas (@lilyharnath & @henrylucas5)

Email us at portalquandary@gmail.com 

Listener names in this episode include:

Misfit - @multiversal_misfits

Celestor - @celestor13

Sound effects used in this episode include:

Harp - RepDac3

Cellos - incidentalnoise

Arctic - sonically_sound

Neon Dreams: A Retro-Futuristic Synthwave Track - Pad - robhog

Scratching Zombie - Slave2theLight

High heels on wooden floor - avakas

S Long Applause - Staggered - processaurus

90's Rock Style - monkeyman535

This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred.

Transcript

Jorja/Indigo: Portal Quandary is made by Australians, so it has some content warnings that you can find in the episode description.

[upbeat rock music plays]

Steven/Chaz: Yourrrrrr’e back with another installment of Two Birds on a Wire! I’m Chaz- 

Tyrone/Rango: And I’m Rango.

Steven/Chaz: We’re here to bring all the latest on all things weird in this strange new world, and today we’ve got some shifty news for you!

Tyrone/Rango: That we do Chaz. The Society for Humans Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed Yearly - or SHIFTY - is happening tonight with all the big wigs in attendance. 

Steven/Chaz: This so-called society started for folks like me and Rango here to raise money for the shifts that happened with, well, The Shift. They’re using this money to fund projects that’ll support all those non-humans out there.

Tyrone/Rango: Yerp, soon I’ll finally be able to play bird footy with all the bird lads when they redo the field just for us bird-folk. 

Steven/Chaz: More importantly, they’ll be teaching doctors about the new anatomy, and updating trains so my wingspan can really let loose. 

Tyrone/Rango: Nobody really knows where this society has even come from though. Some big cashed up lady named Ceres just up and starts a society and throws cash at all our problems. Not that I’m complaining, but just who the heck is this lady?

Steven/Chaz: You going tonight Rango?

Tyrone/Rango: Na, they only let in richies. Might try sneak in though for an exclusive interview. 

Steven/Chaz: I wouldn’t advise that. There’s gonna be a bunch of cops there too. 

Tyrone/Rango: Cops have gotta enforce new laws too, like stupid flight zones. 

Steven/Chaz: You can’t even fly two inches off the ground. Moving onto our next segment after the break, stick around to hear fashion stylist Vincent Waters talk all the latest on how to style your fur and feathers this winter. I’m Chaz.

Tyrone/Rango: And I’m Rango.

Steven/Chaz: And you’re still listening to-

Tyrone/Rango + Steven/Chaz: Two Birds on a Wire!

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Hi! Welcome back to another episode - a lovely, amazing episode - of Portal Quandary: Atrius!

Olive/Daryl: Woah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Woo! Are you guys ready to put on your fancy pants because we’ve got a fancy pants ball to go to today. Daryl, what sort of fancy pants are you wearing?

Olive/Daryl: Daryl’s got a very classic kind of suit. It’s not especially classy, but it’s a nice smart casual kind of vibe that he’s going for.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like, you’re not wearing a tie or a bowtie, or?

Olive/Daryl: No, no. No tie. So, it’s dress pants, and then he’s got a lighter blue blazer that he puts over to complement the colours of the vest underneath, and then he will wear a button-up shirt and keep the collar out. No tie. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Button-up, vest, blue blazer, dress pants.

Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay. Pookie, what are you wearing for your fancy pants outfit?

Rosie/Pookie: Would I have had the chance to go to a K-Mart?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, it’s been a week, babes. 

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, yeah, no. Absolutely lovely, yeah. So, I’m pretty conflicted because I absolutely hate the feeling of wearing things as all cats do. I absolutely despise it. It’s the worst thing in the world. I want to slink around the ground with all my hackles up and be all freaked out and hide in the corner.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: But at the same time I feel like I need to, you know, look the part and feel all spiffy. I’ve gone and gotten a little tuxedo cat outfit from K-Mart. Do you know the ones that makes it look like your front legs are your feet, and you walk around like that? Yeah, it’s got a little bowtie on it. It’s pretty cute.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Cute.

Rosie/Pookie: It’s black and white.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, it’s a fake tuxedo?

Rosie/Pookie: It’s a cat tuxedo.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: Because it’s black and white because do you know how tuxedo cats are black and white, and then it’s like a little play on words. Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Very cute, very cute.

Rosie/Pookie: Thanks.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo?

Jorja/Indigo: Because she has her armour that she can make look different.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: Were we told it would be fancy fancy, or…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, it is formal attire.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. She is just going to make it just a floor length black gown.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: With sort of puffy lace sleeves.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That sounds cute as fuck. Hell yeah brother. And Andres, what have you put together?

Steven/Andres: Similar to Indigo, I am just wearing my regular clothes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Steven/Andres: However, it looks like I am wearing an icy blue tuxedo.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You have to reapply that every hour, don’t you?

Steven/Andres: Yep, I’ll go powder my nose periodically.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You have to periodically pee.

Steven/Andres: Every hour.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Every hour on the hour.

Steven/Andres: Very regular. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eww. You are accompanied by Misfit, the minotaur. He’s got a  very broad shouldered tuxedo. I feel like he’s got normal sized people legs but a very broad torso. He’s got a V silhouette, traditional tuxedo with his hair gelled back.

Tyrone/Thorne: “So, everyone got my invitation, correct?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: “We sure did.”

Steven/Andres: “Yep.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Sure.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “If anyone asks, Pookie, you are my animal companion.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Animal?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Are you not?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Yes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay. I mean, yes, I suppose I am an animal. I don’t know. Something about it didn’t sound distinguished enough.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “I’m a half-bull.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Correct, yes, but ‘animal companion’? I think I would prefer ‘distinguished guest.’”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Well, you are that too.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “This is my distinguished guest, Pookie, but if anyone asks more specifically, that is what you are.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Sure.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Sure. You’re all looking very good, by the way.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you very much. You’re looking very slick yourself.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, shall we make a move?”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Let’s make a move, shall we?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Did you guys get kebabs or H.S.P.s beforehand?

Jorja/Indigo: Maybe after.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Olive/Daryl: Maybe after would be smarter.

Jorja/Indigo: After. Before and after?

Olive/Daryl: “There'll be snacks there, I’m sure. You’ll be able to fill up some…”

Jorja/Indigo: “It’s going to be all that fancy shit that tastes gross.”

Olive/Daryl: “Hey now. You just need to acquire the taste for it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “No, I refuse.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yeah, fair enough.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll beat you down one sentence at a time.

Olive/Daryl: “Although, they may have spring rolls.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “What? Spring rolls aren’t good anymore?”

Jorja/Indigo: “What about me screams, ‘I love spring rolls’?”

Steven/Andres: “Everything.”

Olive/Daryl: “Literally everything.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “If I had to bring you one type of food and take a guess - a wild stab in the dark - it’d be either spring rolls or tiramisu.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, Daryl, no.”

Olive/Daryl: “Don’t knock it until you try it.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I have tried it. I hate it.”

Olive/Daryl: “You haven’t tried my tiramisu.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And I never will.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “So, we’re approaching Flinders Street Station at the moment. I can hear you guys are getting rather snacky. Don’t worry, there’ll be canapes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Mmm, yum.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, we’re approaching this entrance at the side of Flinders Street Station. It’s a Saturday night, so it’s still busy. People are entering the city that way, but it’s one of those little office doors at the side that enter into the station. This is partially what inspired this arc.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh yeah, I remember seeing that. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, there was an art exhibit around twenty twenty-three where they did a bunch of art installations in this area that we’re about to be going into today, so you should check it out online sometime.

Rosie/Pookie: Very cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I wanted to go to that so badly.

Rosie/Pookie: So, it was in Flinders Street Station?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. Inside of the station. 

Rosie/Pookie: Cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Up above it. Rone was the artist. R-O-N-E. Check it out some time. Anyway, we’ve entered into the lobby at the ground level. As you can see on our little map here, it’s very a tight corridor that turns to the side. As you turn the corner, it’s the cloak room. It’s a little pop-up cloakroom and some stairs ahead. There is a fabulous looking Leonin sitting at the desk for the cloakroom. It’s a fabulous lion person with a fabulous looking mane wearing spectacles.

Rosie/Pookie: Cute.

Tyrone/Leo: “Hello, how are we going? Are you ready? Do you have your invitation?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello…lion. I would like to say, it is such an honour to meet one of my kind. I am so thrilled to be here, and I’m sure you know since we are kin, I do not need an invitation." Pookie really sees herself as a lion. One hundred percent.

Jorja/Indigo: “She has one though. It’s here.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Pookie. Oh, that matches the name on the collar. It is an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you lion.”

Tyrone/Leo: “You’re the first talking cat I’ve met as well.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I’m quite special, aren’t I?”

Tyrone/Leo: “You’re so special, and we have Indigo.’

Jorja/Indigo: “Charmed,” and she puts her hand out.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He shakes it.

Tyrone/Leo: “Such wonderful manners. Can I take your coat or bag or anything that you have?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Does it cost money?”

Tyrone/Leo: “Absolutley not. It’s all included in the invitation.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Beautiful.” She’ll hand over a bag. I don’t think she would have brought a jacket. She’s dumb.

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Savage. Is there anything in the bag?

Jorja/Indigo: Probably not.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, it’s just her clutch.

Jorja/Indigo: Milk.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: Salami stick.

Tyrone/Leo: “Wonderful. You can come retrieve it here. Here’s your cloak number.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Thank you. Ooo, sixty-nine.”

Tyrone/Leo: “And yourself sir?”

Steven/Andres: “G’day mate, I’m Daryl. Oh wait, I’m not Daryl. G’day mate, I’m Andres. Here’s my invitation.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Andres, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

Steven/Andres: “What was your name?”

Tyrone/Leo: “My name is Leo.”

Rosie/Pookie: I was almost right.

Steven/Andres: “Nice to meet you Leo.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Anything to cloak this evening?”

Steven/Andres: “Nope, I’m good.”

Tyrone/Leo: “You’re good? Wonderful, and yourself?”

Olive/Daryl: “Good evening, I’m actually Daryl.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Hello actually Daryl. I’m Leo as we’ve just established.”

Olive/Daryl: “Pleasure to meet you. I shan’t be disclosing anything this evening. I’ll be bringing everything that I’ve got.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Wonderful, and Misfit, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Lovely.”

Tyrone/Leo: “Yes, hors d'oeuvres are being served upstairs. There’s canapes and some drinks upstairs. Upstairs, you’ll take a right out of the stairwell.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you very much.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Thank you Leo. Have a wonderful night.”

Tyrone/Leo: “You too.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’ll grin a big lion grin.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. She smiles at him. Him?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah? Them. She smiles at them, and as soon as she turns away, she drops it.

Jorja/Indigo: Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice, and we can head up the stairs when we’re ready.

Jorja/Indigo: Yippee!

Rosie/Pookie: Lovely.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, welcome to the first floor of the Flinders Street Station. There’s a stairwell that’s just opposite you that seems to go up even more. To the left is some doors that have a ‘Staff Only’ sign written on them with some corridors leading off in either direction. To the right though, which is where you guys were told is where the action is happening is, is some double doors that leads to a room that appears to be made mostly of glass. The walls are glass, so you can see right through, and lining the corridor up to that room are waiters of various sorts holding trays of drinks. We’ve got sparkling wine, red wine, white wine, beers, soft drinks…

Jorja/Indigo: So, the waiters are in that hallway? Like, once we exit the stairs, we see them immediately?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, we see them immediately. Correct. Why?

Jorja/Indigo: No reason.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘No reason.’ They are arranged in height order. There’s a Halfling at the front, and then there’s a Dwarf. Sorry, that’s Gnome, Halfling, Dwarf, Human, Goliath. 

Rosie/Pookie: That feels oddly demeaning and hierarchical. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: Also, I also have a hypothetical question.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Rosie/Pookie: Hypothetically, what would happen if a cat - say Pookie - drank alcohol?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The same thing that happens to people, I think, but at a faster rate.

Rosie/Pookie: But in-game do I…?

Jorja/Indigo: It’d be a Con save to see if you’re fucked up, I guess.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: Cute.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Why?

Steven/Andres: It was hypothetical.

Rosie/Pookie: Okay. 

Steven/Andres: These waiters, are they waiting to give us drinks now, or do they look like they're about to go in?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, they’re standing there and waiting. They’re staring at you and holding it out.

Jorja/Indigo: What is the Goliath serving?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The Goliath is serving… They’ve got a mixed tray, so they’ve got a red, a white, and a rosé on their tray.

Jorja/Indigo: And then the next step?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sparkling wine.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll take a glass of red, and Daryl will walk up towards the door and look back towards the others. “Shall we at least go for a little mingle?”

Rosie/Pookie: Is there any milky ones like a Baileys?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, we don’t serve spirits. 

Olive/Daryl: It’s that kind of banquet.

Tyrone/Goliath: “You’ve got a pinot noir, sir. That’s a very good choice.”

Steven/Andres: Who’s got the beers?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The Dwarf.

Steven/Andres: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Steven/Andres: I’ll go over to the Dwarf and grab a beer.

Tyrone/Dwarf: “We’ve got a selection of a Brunswick lager.”

Jorja/Indigo: Yuck.

Steven/Andres: Wasn’t going to grab that. Yuck. 

Tyrone/Dwarf: “They are all sourced from Victoria.”

Steven/Andres: “What other wanky beers have you got?”

Tyrone/Dwarf: “Wanky beers? We’ve got a Gippsland pale ale.”

Olive/Daryl: “Wait a minute, you’re telling me that this is a Yarra Valley wine?”

Tyrone/Goliath: “Yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: Puts it back.

Olive/Daryl: Almost. Honestly, maybe. You said it was pinot noir, and then it’s a Yarra Valley pinot noir.

Tyrone/Goliath: “Yes? There’s also a tempranillo going around as well.”

Steven/Andres: “I’ll take the wanky Brunswick beer, thanks.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. The Brunswick beer is a lager. Lovely.

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll take the rosé off of the Goliath.

Tyrone/Goliath: “The rosé? Wonderful. Excellent decision.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re trying to reach up.

Jorja/Indigo: “Merci.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What’s the sweetest drink that you have?”

Tyrone/Gnome: “For someone like yourself, perhaps an apple juice?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, I would much prefer something a little harder.”

Steven/Andres: An apple?

Jorja/Indigo: A cider?

Rosie/Pookie: That was good.

Tyrone/Gnome: “Apple cider?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Cider?”

Tyrone/Gnome: “Yes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I do enjoy a good sigh.”

Tyrone/Gnome: “Are you capable of holding? Would you like me to get a vessel that’s more catered to your stature?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I can hold.” Let me whip out my Mage Hand with a flourish.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What does your Mage Hand look like?

Rosie/Pookie: So, it’s a hand, right? It is a hand with five fingers and opposable thumbs. Just to make that clear; however, it is furry like a cat’s paw would be, and the fingernails are quite pointy like claws. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I hate that.

Olive/Daryl: So, it’s like a khajiit hand?

Rosie/Pookie: Sure, and it looks pretty disturbing honestly. It’s not pretty because it’s kind of messed up.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re smiling at you like:

Tyrone/Gnome: “Wow, that’s excellent. Just right this way please.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Heading into the glass room?

Rosie/Pookie + Olive/Daryl: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: At the head of the room, on the left hand side, there is a duet playing. We have a Water Genasi and a High Elf playing the harp and the cello.

Rosie/Pookie: What’s she high on?

Olive/Daryl: Fucking hell.

Jorja/Indigo: Ignore it and move on.

Olive/Daryl: Rosie.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a handful of people here already. Daryl, you are going to recognise a couple of people. You seem to recognise Alan Pidgee who is here.

Olive/Daryl: Oh, lovely.

Jorja/Indigo: Was that your partner or something in the force?

Olive/Daryl: I believe he’s my contact. I don’t think that he was my partner.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alan is an Aarakocra. He is a corrections facilitator. He works in prisons. 

Olive/Daryl: Oh, yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you see them chatting up your old mate Leroy, the Minotaur.

Olive/Daryl: That’s right. Alright, wonderful. “Good to see that they’re getting on.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. There’s also a Tabaxi hanging out with them. There seems to be a Fire Genasi hanging out with them in a suit. There seems to be a Half-Elf who is standing around and chatting to them. There is a Sea Elf vibing as well. That’s sort of it for now. It’s light vibes.

Jorja/Indigo: Sick, can I go listen to the music?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you stand there and stare at them?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Jorja/Indigo: Are they good?

Olive/Daryl: “Just before we all split off, maybe we should say that we all do a little mingling about for a while and then meet up somewhere if anyone has figured out anything or if we want to decide to split away from the party and do a little sneaking about?”

Jorja/Indigo: I already left.

Olive/Daryl: Well then, I’m not talking to you.

Rosie/Pookie: “I’ll keep an eye out for windows that we can climb through.”

Steven/Andres: “Excellent work Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Thank you.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright. Cool, break.”

Tyrone/Thorne: “Okay, I’m a bit too much of a familiar face, so I’ll be sticking around in this room mostly. I’m going to go and chat to this Fire Genasi and the Half-Elf having a chat.”

Steven/Andres: “I will join you over there.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, you’re going that way, you’re listening to music…

Olive/Daryl: I’m going to go and catch up with my old friends.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Lovely, and Pookie?

Rosie/Pookie: I’m going to go talk to the Sea Elf while keeping an eye out for windows.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: All different directions. The whole room is windows.

Jorja/Indigo: The whole room is windows. It’s all glass.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m a bit overwhelmed by all of the windows.

Jorja/Indigo: That’s why I went over to the music. I was like, ‘That’s already too many people.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fuck, alright. Do you want to do a roll off to see who goes first?

Jorja/Indigo: Initiative?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: I got a one, so I’m out.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh nice.

Jorja/Indigo: Pookie fell asleep immediately. 

Olive/Daryl: Fourteen.

Jorja/Indigo: Fourteen.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to cast Guidance on myself. Fifteen. It was a one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fifteen. So, who has a higher Dex?

Olive/Daryl: Plus three.

Jorja/Indigo: Same. My score is seventeen.

Olive/Daryl: Sixteen. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Andres, Indigo, Daryl, Pookie. Andres.

Steven/Andres: Fuck, what have I done? Yes?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re heading over with Misfit?

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: To go and talk to the Fire Genasi and the Half-Elf?

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay.

Tyrone/Misfit: “Evening gentlemen. I’m not sure I’ve made your acquaintance yet, but my name is Misfit, and this is my associate here, Andres.”

Steven/Andres: “G’day, how’s it going?” I’ll extend a hand.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The half-elf is wearing sort of formal wear. They’re wearing a trenchcoat on top of a tuxedo, basically, and they greet you and go:

Tyrone/Gene: “Pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Gene. Andres, was it?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, Andres. Nice to meet you, Gene.”

Tyrone/Gene: “This is my associate here, Timothy.”

Olive/Timmit: “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Timothy.”

Steven/Andres: “Nice to meet you Timothy. Andres.”

Olive/Timmit: “Andres, very lovely. Very good, and you are, sorry, Misfit, yes?”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Misfit, yes. I haven’t seen you around here too much before.”

Olive/Timmit: “No, I know. Sorry, it just took me a moment to track you back through my memory, but it’s lovely to see you.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “It’s lovely to see you all. What brings you here this evening?”

Olive/Timmit: “Me? Well, you know, I’ve been dabbling in many, many different civil rights for a lot of the attendees that will be here this evening. So, mostly just to check in on how everyone is doing. Just getting a vibe for everyone is adjusting, and hopefully this will be a great social environment for everyone to feel comfortable and relaxed.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “That’s so heartwarming to hear. Isn’t that great, Andres?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, bloody aspiring, that is.”

Olive/Timmit: “And what brings the two of you to this event?”

Steven/Andres: *abruptly* “I’m here with him.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Well you see, I procure items that have magical qualities and assess them for their capabilities.”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, I see. A collector.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “So, I’ll be here for the auction later.”

Olive/Timmit: “Very well. Well, I do believe there will be a number of guests who will give you a run for your money.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “And don’t we all have a lot?”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, yes. Well, you know, personally not myself, but still I get invited to these gaudy things.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “So, I can outbid you in the auction then. That’s good to know.”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, you need not worry about me as a competitor. That’s alright.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “And you, Gene? What is your business exactly?”

Tyrone/Gene: “Well you see, I’m somewhat of a civil rights person myself. You see, I work in the public sector working with the policy making. Working with some of the organisers here this evening to really put on a show and really learn about how we can make better infrastructure for these affected people like us all. That’s me. Andres, you also procure magical items?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, yeah. I help.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Interesting.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception.

Olive/Timmit: Can Timmit roll an Insight as well?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: Rude.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Twenty-three.

Olive/Timmit: Ah shit. Seventeen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Gene also got a seventeen. 

Tyrone/Gene: “Mmm, that’s very interesting. You’re a bit of a student of Misfit’s, are you?”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, yeah. Still learning the ropes, yeah.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Absolutely wonderful.”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, my drink is empty. I’m going to go get another one. Excuse me.”

Tyrone/Misfit: “Goodbye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo.

Jorja/Indigo: Hello.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Watching tunes, are we?

Jorja/Indigo: First I want to know, are they good?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I’m trying to decide what that is. Like an Intelligence check?

Olive/Daryl: Charisma, surely.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Charisma to decide if music is good? I guess it’s like if you’re trained in it, but we’ll go Charisma. A Charisma check. 

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Shit. Seven.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Seven? It’s way beyond your skill level. You’re like, ‘Wow.’

Jorja/Indigo: I just give a subtle nod to them.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll give you a subtle nod back.

Jorja/Indigo: Damn, okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I picture a really sultry harp player with one leg out with the slit in the dress.

Jorja/Indigo: Damn, okay. Noted. Does it look like there are waiters in this room as well?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Not yet. They’re mostly waiting out in the corridor for more people to arrive at this stage.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. I might do a walk around the room and just do an Investigation check, I guess, to if there’s anything strange.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, roll an Investigation.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, bad. Ten.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ten? An Investigation into this room. There seems to be a lot of cops in this room, which is interesting. 

Olive/Daryl: Like, in uniform?

Steven/Andres: It’s not your Investigation check. 

Olive/Daryl: It’s just clarification. Is this something that everyone would see, or is this something that you’ve just deduced.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ve deduced it. I’m a genius. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re not in full uniform, just a badge.

Jorja/Indigo: Also, they’re talking to Daryl.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: So, I’m like, ‘They probably know each other.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, that’s what you deduce.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay. Is there another group of people or…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Just arriving is Lorraine.

Jorja/Indigo: Does she immediately notice that we’re all there?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. She’s going to walk in with a glass of sparkling and look over at her husband.

Jorja/Indigo: I will-

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Daryl? Daryl?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, hi there. Honey, hello.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Daryl, what are you doing here?”

Olive/Daryl: “I told you, surely. I told you that I was going out to a thing tonight.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “But you didn’t mention that it was this thing.”

Olive/Daryl: “I wasn’t one hundred percent on the details.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: *whispering* “So, you’re working here?”

Olive/Daryl: I grab her arm and pull her in and hold her and do a little kiss on the cheek and whisper, “Yes. Yes, I am doing a little bit of work, but look, you don’t need to worry and I didn’t want to panic you before we got here. This is just purely reconnaissance, alright?”

Jorja/Indigo: That’s a long kiss. 

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Okay. Well, I'm going to go over there and talk with some of my friends. I won’t keep you from your business.”

Olive/Daryl: “If you need anything, you just come and let me know. I’m always happy to help and put on the charm if needed.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “I’ve got plenty of charm myself, thank you dear.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, I know darling.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Goodbye.”

Jorja/Indigo: Can I see who she goes to talk to?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll go over and join the Sea Elf.

Jorja/Indigo: I will follow.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You will follow?

Jorja/Indigo: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, we’ll catch up with that in a moment then because we’ll go to Pookie at the same time. Daryl, your conversation with Alan and Leroy.

Tyrone/Leroy: “Is that Daryl? Two times in one week. What are the odds of that?”

Olive/Daryl: “Hello, hello. I didn’t know that you’d be here.”

Tyrone/Leroy: “Well, I didn’t realise that I’d be here either. Otherwise I would have told you all about it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, well bring it here.” I’ll go in and give him a hug and lean back. “So, who invited you to this little shindig?”

Tyrone/Leroy: “We’re representing work, you know? Work told us to be here to represent the force.”

Olive/Daryl: “From the correctional facility?”

Tyrone/Leroy: “Yeah, it’s something about how you… I mean, it’s all levels of infrastructure. So, how you detain people with magic as well.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, no. I suppose so.”

Steven/Andres: You’ll have to catch me first.

Tyrone/Leroy: “Law is a big part of the whole Shift, isn’t it?”

Olive/Daryl: “I imagine it would be, but I wouldn’t know.”

Tyrone/Leroy: “Well, why are you here then?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh well, I just came to support my wife.”

Tyrone/Leroy: “Oh course, Lorraine. She’s always doing these things, isn’t she? That’s how you two met actually, isn’t it?”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s it. That’s it.”

Tyrone/Leroy: “At one of these little shindigs. One of the police balls back in the day.”

Olive/Daryl: “And you know, I’ve always got my tricks up my sleeve if she can’t seem to manage to seal the deal with a partner. A little, you know, cloak and dagger action.”

Tyrone/Leroy: “A dynamic duo, aren’t you?”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s it.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’s going to look over his shoulder and be like:

Tyrone/Leroy: “I think I spy some canapes coming in. I’ll be right back.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alright, you take your time, buddy.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, it’s just you and Alan at this point.

Tyrone/Alan: “So, Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alan.”

Tyrone/Alan: “Did you get my email the other day?”

Olive/Daryl: “I sure did. Thank you so much for sending that through. It was rather helpful.”

Tyrone/Alan: “Did you find anything useful out?”

Olive/Daryl: “We’re still working on some things, but as soon as I have an update for you, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

Tyrone/Alan: “We?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes. We. I’m too old to be doing this on my own now. Surely you should know that.”

Tyrone/Alan: “Interesting. Keep me updated. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that there’s so many of us tonight.”

Olive/Daryl: “It is starting to… There is something that feels off about this evening. I don’t know what it is.”

Tyrone/Alan: “I’m glad that you feel the same way.”

Olive/Daryl: “Keep your eyes open, and hopefully there won’t be too much mess.”

Tyrone/Alan: “Right back at you. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get myself some of those spring rolls over there.”

[laughter]

Rosie/Pookie: Every single person is just here for the snacks.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: As if you wouldn’t. Pookie. Hello Pookie.

Rosie/Pookie: Hello.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re here to talk to this Sea Elf?

Rosie/Pookie: I sure am, and I’m going to saunter over with my Mage Hand of cider, which I have tasted, and I absolutely despise, but I need to look the part. I think I look rather swanky holding it. So, I’m going to go over, taking delicate little licks out of it, and each time that I take a little lick out of it, I try not to throw up. A little hairball nearly comes up each time, it’s that disgusting. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Rosie/Pookie: So, I saunter over to this Sea Elf, and I strike a pose holding the drink, and I’m like, “Hello.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “Hi, hi. Sorry, a talking kitt- Wow. Hi.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, it is me, the talking cat. Hello.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “How are you?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I am rather splendid this evening. Thank you very much for asking. How are you finding it? What are you doing here? Tell me your whole life story.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “I work in retail actually. It’s quite crazy for me to be somewhere like this. I design a clothing line for people of all different shapes and sizes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh really, do you? What do you think of my outfit this evening?”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “I do love it. I do fear that you had to resort to buying a costume instead of something tailor-made for someone of your physique.”

Rosie/Pookie: “A costume? I resent that you think that this is a costume when really - as you can see - it is a tuxedo.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “You know what? You’re so right. I’m so sorry. That was so out of place.”

Rosie/Pookie: “But however, if you should like to make me a tuxedo, I shan’t say no. I don't have any money.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “We shall be in touch then. I would love to get to know you.”

Steven/Andres: ‘I have no money.’

Rosie/Pookie: “I have no money, but I can give you other things.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “You have no money, but you’ve ended up in such a fancy place as this?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Like I said, I have my ways, and I can get you so much glory.”

Tyrone/Sea Elf: “Interesting.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo saunters over.

Jorja/Indigo: “Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello Indigo. Meet my new acquaintance. What was your name? I never asked, did I?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, I don’t have a name. Would you like to name them? I’m out of names in the name bank, so…

Rosie/Pookie: Ivy Roppulus. 

Tyrone/Ivy: “My name is Ivy, yes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What’s your last name? Please tell me your whole name.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “What’s your last name?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I am Pookie, the cat.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Well, I am Ivy, the retailer, and you were?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Indigo. Pleasure to meet you, Ivy.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Pleasure to meet you. So dainty, and so what are you two doing here?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Well, we heard about the auction, and we don’t have money, but we’re super interested in this cause, and I’m actually writing a piece for a student journal about all the good work that’s being done here.”

Rosie/Pookie: “And I’m her lecturer.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll Deceptions.

Jorja/Indigo: I just shake my head at her.

Steven/Andres: ‘I am her lecturer. I am the professor.’

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Twenty.

Rosie/Pookie: Thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I rolled an eighteen base.

Tyrone/Ivy: “That’s incredible that you’re writing a piece. I’m not sure about this lecturer business though. That’s not true, is it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, it surely is. I talk about all kinds of things like different types of milks at the convenience store. I could tell you all about the benefits of chocolate milk versus non-chocolate milk.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “And what does that have to do with the piece?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh, it’s because of how different creatures when they change into different things like different milks, right Indigo?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yes, that is right.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s giving you a weird side-eye like, ‘What the fuck?’

Jorja/Indigo: I’m trying to very slyly shake my head no.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m there swirling my drink, trying to look posh. 

Jorja/Indigo: Spilling everywhere. 

Tyrone/Ivy: “I must excuse myself. I do need the facilities. I’ll be right back.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Of course.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll excuse herself. 

Olive/Daryl: Funnily enough, so does Andres. 

Steven/Andres: That’s where I’m going.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to pee?

Steven/Andres: Well, I excused myself from their conversation.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay.

Steven/Andres: And my plan was to ask one of the waiters where the bathroom was.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay. Yeah sure, you ask the Dwarf?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dwarf: “It’s around the corridor. Not through the door, but you just take a right or a left, and you’ll get there either way.”

Steven/Andres: “Huh?”

Tyrone/Dwarf: “So, after you get around, you’ll see another set of double doors, and you’ll see the signs for the bathroom.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Going into the bathroom?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What are you doing in the bathroom?

Steven/Andres: Is anyone in here?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You know what? There is a waiter. Do you know who the waiter is?

Steven/Andres: Who?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is James, the Drow. 

Steven/Andres: Oh.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And he’s like:

Tyrone/James: “Andres?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, g’day James. How’s it going?”

Tyrone/James: “Good. What are you doing here?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh, you know me. Getting in with those rich folks.”

Tyrone/James: “Is this your second job that you were talking about?”

Steven/Andres: “Yep, yep. I definitely told you about that.”

Tyrone/James: “Right. Well, this is my second job.”

Steven/Andres: “Nice.”

Tyrone/James: “Jesus, you must be rolling in it. Did your mum and dad get you this job?”

Steven/Andres: “Oh no, no. I got it through someone I met on campus.”

Tyrone/James: “Right.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Deception.

Steven/Andres: I didn’t. That’s how I got into the club.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay. Fair.

Steven/Andres: I’m not lying.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s fair.

Steven/Andres: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go hand out canapes.”

Tyrone/James: “That’s alright. I’ve got to see a man about a horse.”

Steven/Andres: “Yeah, alright. Have fun in there. See you.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Can I lock the door behind him, or is there…?

Steven/Andres: Oh, you want the whole area?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Steven/Andres: You don’t want just a stall?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nope.

Steven/Andres: Sure, you can lock it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Cool.

Steven/Andres: I’m just going to lock it quickly behind him, and then I’m going to cast Invisibility on myself.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Beautiful. Good lord. How long does that last?

Steven/Andres: An hour.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How do you cast it? What does it look like?

Steven/Andres: I’m going to place on my chest and speak to Celestor, and I’m going to be coated in a flurry of snow, and it all dissipates and I’m not there anymore.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice, I love that.

Steven/Andres: And then I’m going to unlock the door and…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The door’s going to open, and no-one’s going to… 

Steven/Andres: I’m going to peek the door open and see if I can see anyone.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From where you are, you can see the little kitchenette in the corner there, which is where they’ve set up the kitchen for today, so there’s chefs hustling and bustling about. There’ll be a waiter walking past every now and then with getting new canapes and walking back. Yeah, that’s what you see.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to slip out of the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. It should be okay. You get a plus ten to Stealth, don’t you? Okay, where are you going?

Steven/Andres: Do these stairs go up?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They go up, yeah.

Steven/Andres: I’m going up.

Rosie/Pookie: All stairs go up.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They also go down.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, they all go up, and they all go down.

Steven/Andres: Anyway…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s another set of stairs next to the men’s bathroom.

Steven/Andres: And it goes up?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. So, you’re at a corridor. It either turns off to the left, or it goes into a room into the right just there.

Steven/Andres: Sure, let’s go into this room here.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, you’re going to go into the big double doors up there?

Steven/Andres: Oh okay, I’ll go to this one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That wasn’t one of the things that I described.

Steven/Andres: Sure. There’s a door that I see. I’ll go into that.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a door that you see and you go into there? Alright. This one. This one appears to be used for textiles back in the day when Flinders Street Station was in good use. So, there’s sewing machines around on tables, but at the moment it seems to be used as a green room because there’s coat racks with various layers of outfits and costumes on them. So, this one appears to be empty at the moment, but there’s some canapes sitting on the table just around the corner, and there’s a mirror set up. Like, table, chair, mirror for each of these people. There’s two, and there’s some canapes just sitting on the tables for them?

Steven/Andres: Can I just do an Investigation into the desks, and see if I can see anything?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For sure. Give it a roll babes.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Oh dear. I got a ten.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You got a ten. You find some cute makeup. You find… What do you find? What do they have? They’ve got their handbags in there. Inside the handbag, they’ve got their wallets.

Steven/Andres: What ID is in the wallet?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ve got a picture of a Water Genasi and of a High Elf. 

Steven/Andres: Slay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: These are two different pictures, two different handbags. They’ve got credit cards and loyalty cards and…

Steven/Andres: Because the room downstairs was relatively small, was I able to see who was performing?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, you saw the Water Genasi and the High Elf performing.

Steven/Andres: So, I know that it is their stuff?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Steven/Andres: Okay, I will leave it and walk away.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. We’ll go over to Indigo. Hello Indigo.

Jorja/Indigo: Hello.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re left alone with Pookie.

Jorja/Indigo: Ugh. Where did Lorraine go?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh my god, you’re so right. I said that she went to talk to that elf and then she never did.

Jorja/Indigo: That bitch.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, she went over to talk to Timmit and Gene instead.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay, I’m not doing that. I was going to go to the bathroom, just so I could check out what the rest of this floor looks like, so I’ll go ask the Goliath.

Tyrone/Goliath: “Hi.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Hello. I’m just looking for the restrooms.”

Tyrone/Goliath: “Yeah, so take a left or right. It doesn’t matter. Not through the doors. That’s staff only, but you’ll end up at the bathrooms either way.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay. Thank you so much.”

Tyrone/Goliath: “Bye. Drinks? Maybe on the way back.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Maybe on the way back.”

Tyrone/Goliath: “Sorry, stupid of me.”

Jorja/Indigo: “No, you’re fine.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Stupid, stupid.’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Stupid, stupid.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ll head over and you’ll see the kitchenette happening and the stairs further on, but the ladies’ is to the bottom and the gents’ to the top.

Jorja/Indigo: Is there anyone here?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, there’s about three chefs just working away in the kitchen there. They seem to be deep frying things or plating things together. Putting dressing on things.

Jorja/Indigo: Can I hear anything from that middle room?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From the middle room?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, with the double doors.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Perception.

Jorja/Indigo: Sure, this will go well.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Aren’t you an expert in that now?

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is that a one?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to lean against the door and it’s going to open and smash into your head a bit.

Tyrone/James: “Oh, sorry about that. Are you alright?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’m looking for the bathroom. Was it not…?”

Tyrone/James: “It’s just down there, you see?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’ll point at the door.

Jorja/Indigo: She mimics turning corners in her head.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I think I got turned around.”

Tyrone/James: “Are you alright?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Tyrone/James: “Okay.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Are you okay?”

Tyrone/James: “I’m great. Why?”

Jorja/Indigo: Who is this person? What do they look like?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re a Drow about Andres’s age wearing waiter’s clothes.

Tyrone/James: “Do I… I haven’t seen you before, have I?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I don’t think so.”

Tyrone/James: “You seem so familiar.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I get that a lot.”

Tyrone/James: “Sorry, anyways, I was getting canapes. Right.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: He’ll walk over to the kitchen and pick up something.

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, bye.”

Tyrone/James: “Bye.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to the bathroom.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a Sea Elf freshening up at the mirror.

Jorja/Indigo: “Hello. Sorry, I’m not following you.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “I was about to say, ‘Oh my god, you’re following me’.”

Jorja/Indigo: “No. Sorry about the cat. She…”

Tyrone/Ivy: “The cat is so familiar as well.”

Jorja/Indigo: “She gets that a lot. She likes to think she’s more involved than she is.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Oh, okay. That makes a lot of sense about why they were lying about their costume.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.

Tyrone/Ivy: “Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I just play along because she’s a talking cat. What can you do?”

Tyrone/Ivy: “That’s so true.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Wait, so that’s an actual cat? That’s not a person that’s turned into a cat?”

Jorja/Indigo: “As far as I’m aware.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Oh, how interesting.”

Jorja/Indigo: “I try not to ask questions.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “I’m going to go back out there and find them.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, have fun.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Bye.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Bye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll leave you alone in the bathroom. Cool, we’ll move over to Daryl.

Rosie/Pookie: Dazza.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Dazza, hello.

Olive/Daryl: Alright, so I’ve been abandoned by the people who I went to talk to for snacks. Who’s left?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The people handing out the canapes. There’s the other group of people talking. So, Pookie’s hanging out by themselves at the moment.

Rosie/Pookie: We’ll see about that. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Then there’s Timmit and Gene and Lorraine. I think that’s everyone at the moment. Yeah.

Olive/Daryl: Let’s go mingle. I’ll go over to the only group that’s there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Olive/Daryl: I might even swing past and see Pookie and be like, “Are you alright?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Oh yes, I’m quite enjoying this cider. It’s absolutely divine.”

Olive/Daryl: “It’s cider.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes,” and I take a nice little sip of it. “Mmm, I love it.”

Olive/Daryl: “You know you don’t have to drink it if you don’t like it.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Really?”

Olive/Daryl: “Really. You can just hold it and not drink it.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay.” I’m going to take a gulp of it and finish half of it. I don’t believe you.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Beautiful.

Olive/Daryl: “Would you like to come with me and have a chat to some people?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I shall come over briefly.”

Olive/Daryl: “Very well.”

TyroneLorraine: “Oh, Daryl, Daryl. Everyone, meet my lovely husband and their friend, Pookie.”

Olive/Daryl: “Hello.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Oh, how do you do?”

Olive/Daryl: “Quite well, thank you. Quite well, and how about yourself?”

Tyrone/Gene: “I’m absolutely divine. Thank you for asking. You’re Lorraine’s husband?”

Olive/Daryl: “I am. Daryl Copper, and your name?”

Tyrone/Gene: “My name? Gene.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes. Gene.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Gene Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Gene Yes.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “Quite.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Ah, very well. So, you’re just here with Lorraine, are you?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, and Pookie here is also someone that I know well.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Ah, how do you two know each other?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Well, we actually know each other from the library. I was giving a talk on the benefits of milk for the population.”

Olive/Timmit: “I’m sorry, did you milk?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I did. Milk. I think that more people should be drinking it. It’s yum. Calci-yum, and it it yummy, and it is very good and lifts the spirits, and I was giving a talk on that, and you were at the talk, remember? Daryl? And you approached me and asked me about strawberry milk.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, yes, yes. Of course, I was there. It was a lovely talk. Very informative. You know, there’s a lot of things that you don’t know about milk until you’ve heard it from a cat.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, that’s right.”

Tyrone/Gene: “If anyone’s going to be an expert, it’s going to be a cat, isn’t it?”

Olive/Timmit: “Well, you know, I suppose that you’re probably right in that instance. I guess, I don’t know. Is milk really that important?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Is milk really that important? Who even are you?”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, I’m so sorry. How rude of me. Hi, I’m Timothy.”

Rosie/Pookie: I extend a paw.

Olive/Timmit: I’ll shake it.

Rosie/Pookie: A little claw and just nips your finger as you take your hand away.

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, so sorry about that. So, is that why you’re here tonight? To talk about milk?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Yes, I shall be giving a speech later.”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, I very much look forward to hearing it then.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I look forward to doing it.”

Olive/Timmit: “Mmm, okay. Interesting.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Anyway, I must be off. Goodbye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie’s going? Where is Pookie going?

Rosie/Pookie: Pookie is leaving.

[laughter]

Olive/Daryl: Pookie is done.

Jorja/Indigo: Pookie is gone.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like out of the room?

Rosie/Pookie: Pookie has spoken enough about milk and committing to things that Pookie can’t do.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie is leaving the room?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes, I was going to telepathically say to Daryl, “Daryl, I am off to find a window, and I am going to try to climb through it and look in different areas. Goodbye.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I guess one of the waiters opens the door for you because your Mage Hand is preoccupied with the cider.

Rosie/Pookie: It is.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’ll do that. As you’re leaving, two new people will walk in. Two ladies in pantsuits. One has got a nice, black pantsuit, and one has got an ice-blue pantsuit, and they walk in holding sparkling wines. Where is Pookie going?

Rosie/Pookie: Pookie is not sure yet.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Would you like to come back to Pookie?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you.

Olive/Daryl: “Good evening. Welcome.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Oh, thank you so much. I don’t remember you being on the guest list. What was your name?”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, I was invited by association. My name is Daryl.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Oh, in association with who?”

Olive/Daryl: “With Misfit.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Misfit, I do love him. Isn’t he amazing?”

Olive/Daryl: “He is a wonderful, wonderful gentleman, and I’m so sorry, what was your name?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Ceres.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ceres?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes, Ceres.”

Olive/Daryl: “Pleasure.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “With a C. This is my associate, Khione. Excuse me a moment.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s going to talk to the front of the room and signal to the duet to stop. She’ll walk up with her sparkling wine and be like ding, ding, ding, ding.

[glass clinking]

Tyrone/Ceres: “Hello everyone. Thank you all for coming today. As you all know, my name is Ceres. This is my associate, Khione. I’m the organiser on behalf of the Society for Humans who are Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed. Welcome to our Society for Humans who are Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed Yearly. The formalities will be kicking off within half an hour, so please get all of the canapes and cocktails that you need, but I just wanted to welcome you all personally. Goodbye.”

Olive/Daryl: Can I do an Insight check?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For sure. Into who and what?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. Her attitude.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Her attitude.’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘What the fuck is up her arse?’

Olive/Daryl: Is she…? I don’t know. It seems very fake. Very disingenuous.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fourteen. Damn, that was good. Yeah, she seems like she’s putting on a bit of a face. She was a little shocked that you were here. She was like, ‘What the fuck? Why is someone that I didn’t invite here? Why are they here? The fucking audacity’, but she’s also professional. She’s a professional woman.

Olive/Daryl: Shocked more so to see me - someone that wasn’t invited - or did it feel more because I’m human and unaffected? That she’s surprised that someone-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I think it’s that someone that wasn’t invited.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Less about your humanness because Lorraine is here too. She was invited.

Olive/Daryl: True.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: True, and we might cut to the invisible man in the upstairs.

Steven/Andres: Yes, hello. I am invisible.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re also upstairs.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, I mean, this room is boring. I’m going to leave. I’m assuming that this is just the wall?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s a wall, yes. 

Steven/Andres: I’m just going to walk back through the door and go this way.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure. So yeah, you can see halfway up the corridor around the corner, there’s a double door to the left, and there’s a staircase going up again to the right. 

Steven/Andres: Can I do a Perception in this room?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Like listen in?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: For sure.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: I’m pretty perceptive. Fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can’t hear voices or anything, but maybe you can hear a floorboard creaking inside. 

[floorboard creaking]

Steven/Andres: I will attempt to slowly open the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is locked.

Steven/Andres: Hecketh. Well, I’ll keep walking then.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. So yeah, the corridor continues around to the left up ahead, or there’s the stairs.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to go up these stairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to go up those stairs?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus Christ. Okay, up you go. This is just a skinny corridor. It opens up to a skinny corridor with a door at the end.

Steven/Andres: I would like to jiggle the handle of this door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This one is open.

Steven/Andres: Slay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay.

Steven/Andres: I’m going through the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going through the door? No listening? You’re just like, ‘Let’s fucking go’?

Steven/Andres: I will make a Perception.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Eleven.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can’t hear anything.

Steven/Andres: I open the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slay. You’ve somehow found your way into the room behind the clock at Flinders Street Station, so you’re on the other side of the lock at the moment. 

Steven/Andres: Cool.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: There’s a little table in the corner with a clock on it. Like, a normal sized clock as opposed to a big clock.

Steven/Andres: That seems a bit superfluous. I would like to investigate the little desk.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The little desk?

Steven/Andres: The little desk. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Steven/Andres: I’ve seen the clock a lot of times.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Nat twenty!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Jesus Christ.

Steven/Andres: Plus four. Twenty four.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The desk…

Steven/Andres: ‘Is locked.’ Fuck!

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, it’s not locked. There’s something under the clock that you notice while you’re looking around the desk. It’s sitting, a piece of paper, folded up under the clock, and it’s sitting under there. I’m picturing it to be a little Cogsworth. I’m picturing it as Cogsworth as the clock.

Steven/Andres: Cute.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you’ve found this piece of paper that I’m handing you right now. You’re welcome to share with everybody else and the listeners.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to read it over your shoulder. You can see it from the back.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What do you see Andres?

Steven/Andres: This is a puzzle.

Olive/Daryl: Oh no!

Steven/Andres: It says: one of the wind; two of the forest; three of the ocean; four of the depths; five of the sun; six of the stars; seven of the moon; eight of the clouds; nine of the earth; zero of the desert. Okay, does this bit of paper look incomplete or tampered with or anything, or is it…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No, it’s got a bit of…

Jorja/Indigo: Is it handwritten? Is it typed out? Is it in Wing Dings?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Handwritten, very cursive font, but more cursive than what I have there, and it looks like it's got a bit of wear and tear. Like, it looks like it’s been opened and closed a lot of times. It’s folded up. Yeah. I’ll leave you with that while I move back over to Indigo who is in the bathroom.

Jorja/Indigo: Yes, I am.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes.

Jorja/Indigo: I am going to change my dress into a waiters’ uniform. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I knew this was coming. I knew this was coming.

Jorja/Indigo: And I’ll change my hair. It was probably put, so I’m going to tie it up as a messy bun on top.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh yeah, cute. 

Jorja/Indigo: And go to the double doors. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, on the right?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. You go out and walk in. Sure. This looks like it used to be a work space of some sort back in the day. There’s desks and chairs, but they’ve been pushed to the side of the room. You can see the four tables there. They’re filled with glasses, and there’s just strewn bottles of wine around, or there’s a - we call them at work a yumcha - just a big trolley full of alcohol. Probably three waiters here just hanging out. One’s on their phone just chilling.

Jorja/Indigo: I will mimic that behaviour and be on my phone.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: But I’m going to try to look around. Is there anything weird in the room? Is there… I’m worried that everyone is getting poisoned right now, so…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh shit.

Jorja/Indigo: Anything strange at all?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll an Investigation.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fourteen. These people seem far too disinterested in their job to be doing something so conniving as to be poisoning people. It’s just people getting a side gig.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: One looks to be sort of be in charge, but even they don’t seem to be very interested in it at all. They’re a Dwarf. A Dwarf is in charge. You can tell because they’re wearing a little extra waistcoat as opposed to everyone else just in the white shirt.

Jorja/Indigo: Cute.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’ll point at you actually.

Tyrone/Supervisor: “You, where have you been this whole time? Are you late?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’ve been on the floor.”

Tyrone/Supervisor: “It’s the first time that I’ve seen your face. Did you forget to check in?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, I did. Do you not remember me?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I know what the answer is, but roll a Deception.

[laughter]

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Twenty.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I was close. I had a nineteen.

Jorja/Indigo: Shit.

Tyrone/Supervisor: “Well alright. Get some canapes then, I guess.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, I’m going to grab one.”

Tyrone/Supervisor: “Go.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re going to start pointing at the other guys.

Tyrone/Supervisor: “You too actually. What are you doing on your phone? Get off.”

Jorja/Indigo: Oops, sorry guys.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sorry guys. But yeah, this essentially seems to be a back of house space for the staff.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep. Perfect. I’m going to leave before everyone else does and go into the bathroom.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright, are you going to go change your outfit back?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep, go back to normal.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Well, that was boring.’

Jorja/Indigo: Well I mean, that would have weighed on me if I didn’t find out what was happening in there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s fair.

Olive/Daryl: That would have weighted (waited) on you.

Jorja/Indigo: No.

Olive/Daryl: Weigh…

Jorja/Indigo: No.

Olive/Daryl: Wei…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you going anywhere else?

Jorja/Indigo: I am tempted to go upstairs, but I think I’m better with the people. I’m going to go back to the party. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, you’ll probably see Daryl there. Yeah, what is Daryl doing?

Olive/Daryl: I’m probably in the middle of the story. Something or other from his cop days, probably. Just trying to entertain people. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Indigo walks back into the room and Daryl’s like, ‘And that’s the story of the first time I got shot.

Olive/Daryl: Not quite that vivid, but sure, yeah. “And that was the first time that I had to arrest a clown.”

Jorja/Indigo: She turns around and looks if she can go anywhere else.

Tyrone/Gene: “You can come join us, you know. It’s okay. You don’t have to awkwardly stand over there.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh Indigo, thank goodness that you made it.”

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, fuck.

Olive/Daryl: “You know what actually? Would you mind taking my spot? I’ve just got to run to the bathroom myself.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “It’s okay dear, I’ll keep you company.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Olive/Daryl: I’ll cock my head slightly and give you a bit of a side eye. ‘What was that?’

Jorja/Indigo: ‘Hi Daryl.’

Olive/Daryl: ‘Okay,’ and Daryl will make his way towards the bathroom.

Tyrone/Goliath: “Yeah, it’s just to the left or the right. It doesn’t matter. You’ll see it on the other side.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you muchly.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you actually going to the bathroom?

Olive/Daryl: I kind of want to go up those stairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Up those ones?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, those ones.

Rosie/Pookie: That’s where I’m going.

Olive/Daryl: Not anymore punk. Can I go around the corner and try to sneak my way up after I’m out of line of sight and wait for them to be looking in a different direction and sneak my way up there?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth because there’s waiters in that corridor.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, they can’t see shit.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Fast as fuck boy!

Olive/Daryl: I’m fast as fuck! Eighteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ten. Sure, head up the stairs.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I’ll head up the stairs. Just a little, *hums a tune that is possibly Monkeys Spinning Monkeys by Kevin MacLeod*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie, did you also go up here?

Rosie/Pookie: I sure did.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Did you want to go together for ease of access together?

Rosie/Pookie: Well, before I headed up I put my cider down on the ground.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Rosie/Pookie: And then I headed up the stairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No-one questions it. A cat does what a cat does.

Rosie/Pookie: A cat does what a cat does. So, I would have already been up there because I left before that conversation that they had.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. I guess Daryl, you walk up and Pookie is in the corridor. 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh Pookie, you’re here too.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello.”

Olive/Daryl: “Wait a minute, does that mean that…? Have you seen Andres?”

Rosie/Pookie: “No, no I haven’t.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well I mean, he definitely wasn't downstairs, so it’s only Indigo there right now?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I wouldn't know.”

Olive/Daryl: “Alri- Why not?”

Rosie/Pookie: “Why would I know? I’m a cat.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s a good question actually. I’m happy to take your lead if you’re just having a look around. I’ll just keep an eye on our back.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I just wanted to have a little looksie.”

Olive/Daryl: “Go on right ahead. I’ve got you.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Okay.” I’m going to go to those doors in the middle. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: To the doors in the middle?

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl is following?

Olive/Daryl: Oui.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah. The ones that go to the middle with the two chairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah. It is locked.

Rosie/Pookie: Is there anyone inside?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: How would you know?

Rosie/Pookie: I have cat ears.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Perception.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Twenty-one.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Twenty-one. You hear some… No-one is talking or anything. You hear some light breathing coming from in the middle.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh.

Jorja/Indigo: *heavy breathing*

Steven/Andres: Light. Light breathing. 

Jorja/Indigo: *panting*

Rosie/Pookie: I don’t like light breathing. *whispering* “Daryl.”

Olive/Daryl: “Ah, yes?”

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “There’s someone breathing.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, do you think that they’re maybe taking a nap.”

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “Probably not. Actually, they might be. I don’t know, but i’m going to start scratching,” and I start scratching the door.

[scratching on wood]

Olive/Daryl: “Why don’t we just- Okay, go ahead. Scratch the door.”

Rosie/Pookie: I’m scratching the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You scratch the door. I don’t know if Andres would be coming down the stairs at this time as well.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m doing some little meows as well.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you coming back down?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, I know that you’re invisible, but you come down to see Pookie scratching the door and Daryl waiting, I guess.

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “Daryl. Pookie.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Jesus Christ, wha- Andres?

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “I found this.” I’m going to pull the note out. It’s going to be levitating in front of them.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Is it levitating? They go invisible when you- Oh yeah, no. 

Steven/Andres: Does it?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It levitates. I think it’s invisible if you…

Jorja/Indigo: It says, ‘If it is worn or carried.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, it is carried, so it is invisible, so are you letting go?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, if you just let it go.

Steven/Andres: “Daryl, hold your hand out.” I put the note on top of his hand and let go. 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, oh, oh. Okay. Let me read it.”

Steven/Andres: I assume that it goes visible?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, the paper goes from invisible to visible.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, alright.”

Steven/Andres: “I found this upstairs. Sorry, it’s me, Andres.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, thank you. Thank you Andres for that.”

Steven/Andres: “I’m invisible.”

Olive/Daryl: “Uh-huh. Right, you are. What is this?”

Steven/Andres: “I don’t know. I found it upstairs.”

Olive/Daryl: “Sun, stars, clouds, forest, desert, earth, wind.”

Steven/Andres: “Yep, those are words that are on it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Moon, and one to nine and then zero. Is that a zero?”

Steven/Andres: “I think so.”

Rosie/Pookie: “A zero is generally a circular shape, so if it’s a circular shape I would assume that it’s a zero.”

Olive/Daryl: “Right you are. Alright, well…”

Steven/Andres: “But look at it. It looks ancient. It looks old.”

Olive/Daryl: “It looks a little worn.” Can I do an Investigation check to see if it has any reference to anything that I’d know of?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure, you can roll an Investigation.

Steven/Andres: Is it an Investigation or a History?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is an Investigation.

Steven/Andres: I’ll History it.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Nevermind. I got a six.

Olive/Daryl: I got a ten.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, you definitely got nothing with your History. You’re like, ‘Hmm, it doesn't ring a bell. Maybe I slept through that class.’

Steven/Andres: Not in English literature.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ten on Investigation. Not really. They're all locations. You’re noticing that they’re all starting with ‘of the,’ so it makes you thinks that maybe there’s something else that’s supposed to go in front of them.

Olive/Daryl: Like the numbers? I don’t know.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You guys are going to hear heels on floorboards walking from the corridor on the left hand side of that room.

Steven/Andres: “Quick guys, hide. I’m not going anywhere.”

Rosie/Pookie: I cast Spider Climb.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Wild Magic roll.  

Steven/Andres: Oh, fuck.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, shit.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Six.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re fine, so the number is a one or a two now.

Rosie/Pookie: Yep

Jorja/Indigo: She already had a fail, so would it a one, two, or three now.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you going on the ceiling now? Oh, yep. That’s what I meant, yeah.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, cool, cool, cool. Yes, I’m climbing onto the ceiling.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl?

Olive/Daryl: “Ah, uh, ah, umm, eh.” I’ll lean up against the side of the wall with one arm on my head and the elbow is there and kind of…

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “Daryl, go up the stairs.”

Olive/Daryl: *whispering* “Oh, right, right, right.”

Steven/Andres: And I’m going to stand on the other side of the door. Sorry, this map doesn’t have a Z-axis, but Pookie is on the roof.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, just keep me up on the bottom there, and can I hide, and I want to take a peek at who’s coming down?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth.

Olive/Daryl: Yuh-huh.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie roll a Stealth.

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You rolled a one? Okay. What did you roll Pookie?

Rosie/Pookie: Nineteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nineteen. Daryl has rolled a one?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You don’t need to stress too much about having a sneaky because you try to hide and you topple down the stairs a little bit. 

Olive/Daryl: “Oh my god, my leg. Jeez. Argh.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: And you see Ceres followed by Khione walking towards you.

Tyrone/Ceres: “Ah, hello. Are you alright? You sound incredibly in pain.”

Olive/Daryl: “I’m okay. I’m alright. I just had a little tumble.”

Steven/Andres: Could I clarify which direction that they’re coming from?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: From the left hand side.

Steven/Andres: This way?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah.

Steven/Andres: Okay, I'm standing on this side.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Tyrone/Ceres: “Do you need assistance? I can call for help if you like.”

Olive/Daryl: “I think that I just need to sit down for a moment. Is there a space in here where I can sit down?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “I can help you into the green room, I guess. I could bring you in there.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s far too far to walk. I don’t think that I’ll make it.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Oh, just sit here on the stairs for a while.”

Olive/Daryl: “Argh! I need to sit down. Argh! Please help me! I’m just an old man. Please! Ow!”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Ah, uh, eh.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’re going to grab you on one shoulder each and walk you up the corridor. 

Rosie/Pookie: Telepathically…

Olive/Daryl: I’ll reach out for the door handle and be like, “Where are you taking me?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “To the green room. I don’t know where that goes, but I don’t have the key for that room.”

Olive/Daryl: “Can you just knock?”

Steven/Andres: Can I roll an Insight into that?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

Rosie/Pookie: “Farewell Daryl.” Telepathically into your brain, that's what you hear.

[laughter]

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Twenty-three.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Twenty-three you reckon. She knows what’s in that room.

Steven/Andres: Does she have the key?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She does know what’s in the room, but she does not have the key.

Steven/Andres: Okay.

Tyrone/Ceres: “I’m so sorry, I don’t have the key to that room. The closest one is really down this way.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh my goodness gracious. Alright then, I suppose that will be fine. I’m very much appreciative of your kindness and your assistance as well. Thank you so much. Please, yeah. My leg, ow.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re going to walk into this green room on the other side of the hall.

Steven/Andres: I’m going to start walking backwards, I guess?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assumed that you were just going to be flat against the wall.

Steven/Andres: No, I’m going to walk backwards. I’m not going to risk them bumping into me on the way past.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m following, by the way, on the roof.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: On the roof. Okay. This one looks like it’s got a bunch of old electronic equipment. Maybe they used it for train signalling in the past, but right now it is a green room again. So, the walls are lined with all this electronic equipment, but around the corner is the same thing as the other room. Chairs, desk, mirror, with their purses on the ground.

Tyrone/Ceres: “Here, take a seat here darling.”

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you so much. Ow”

Tyrone/Ceres: “What are you doing up here?”

Olive/Daryl: “You know, I happened to leave my glasses at home, and I was looking for the bathroom, and I could have sworn that someone said that I had to go up the stairs, and I’m so sorry. I got lost.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes?

Steven/Andres: I just wanted to clarify, when they walked Daryl into the room, did they close the door behind them?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. I was wondering as well if Pookie was trying to walk into there?

Steven/Andres: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: With the nineteen Stealth, that can happen.

Steven/Andres: I don’t think that I made it in then.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No?

Steven/Andres: No. Because I don’t think that there would have been enough time for me to sneak past. I would have seen Pookie go in.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: That’s chill. 

Steven/Andres: I’m going to assume that she’s got this. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Where are you going?

Rosie/Pookie: I have a plan. 

Steven/Andres: I don’t really have anything. There’s nowhere else to go other than this room. I guess knowing about these two, I’m actually going to go back downstairs and find Indigo.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Steven/Andres: Who does not know that I’m invisible. This will be fun.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, Daryl. You’re in the room.

Tyrone/Ceres: “The bathroom. I’m so sorry. Those waiters are absolutely useless, aren’t they? It’s downstairs.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh no. It’s not the waiters’ problem. They’re fantastic. They’re great. They're doing a wonderful job, and this event that you’ve put together has turned out to be quite wonderful.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “We haven’t even really started. I’m just getting ready, powdering my nose, and I’ll head back down and give a whole big speech.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh absolutely, but the bathrooms, they’re not upstairs, right?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “No, they’re downstairs.”

Olive/Daryl: “Right.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “This is my green room here. As an organiser, I have my own room.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, I see. Interesting.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes. I can get the first aid kit?”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, if you wouldn’t mind, that would be gratefully helpful. Thank you.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes, alright. I’ll be right back. Khione, you can stay here.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ceres will run off.

Olive/Daryl: Beautiful.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s glaring at you and not saying anything. There’s a big, awkward tension in the air.

Olive/Daryl: Daryl’s smiling and faintly holding his knee. “So, how long have you been working with Ceres?” I don’t know why I’m British now. I just am.

Tyrone/Khione: “Most of my life.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, yeah rightio. Most of your life.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “That’s a long time to work for one person.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Well, when you’ve got corporate loyalty. You know, the younger generation, they don’t have that anymore.”

Olive/Daryl: “No, that loyalty is really hard to come by these days, but it is something. It shows a true merit of someone’s soul.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Exactly. Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: “Well, to a fault of course.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Sometimes. Not in our case.”

Olive/Daryl: “Are you sure about that?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Why do you say that?”

Olive/Daryl: “I just like to ask. Sometimes people aren't asked, and they believe that they can go on with their life being loyal and that everything will be alright, but I’ve worked for the police force, you see? I had a great many number of people who never stopped to question and just went on and found out that it wasn’t what they wanted in life. Sorry, sorry. I’m being an old man bummer over her.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yep.”

Olive/Daryl: “But you’re happy with your work?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They seem a little distracted, I guess.

Olive/Daryl: “One more yes, and I’ll believe you.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yeah. Yeah.”

Olive/Daryl: “Have you got something on your mind?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yes, sorry. I’m just practicing my speech in my head.”

Olive/Daryl: “Your speech?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yes.”

Olive/Daryl: “So, not Ceres’s speech?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Well both. We both have speeches."

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, you both have speeches?”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yes, both. Both speeches.”

Olive/Daryl: “Two speeches.”

Tyrone/Khione: “Yep. We’re here all night.”

Olive/Daryl: Insight check.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

*dice rolls*

Olive/Daryl: Twelve. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, I got a nineteen. 

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, righto.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sorry, and with that, Indigo.

Jorja/Indigo: Hello.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’re back downstairs.

Jorja/Indigo: I have now become my persona and I’ve got my phone out taking notes, and I’m going to talk to everyone. “Why are you here? What’s your involvement with this? Where do you work?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, you’re taking notes on everybody now?

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I guess, going around the room, you’ve got the group with Gene, and Timmit, and Lorraine, and Lorraine’s like:

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Well, you know what I do, don’t you dear?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “I’m here for all the events here. We’re raising lots of money for everybody.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And you do it so well.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “Timmit, what do you do?”

Olive/Timmit: “Well, I work in law. I assist mostly people who have been affected by the change. Either trying to get their livelihoods back, or trying to assist them with certain effects that have altered their life and they need to adapt, and there are a lot of changes that came from that day, so I work day and night, trying to make everything right again. Yeah.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay.”

Tyrone/Gene: “And I work with the law, you see? So, I work with the law policy makers because, you know, magic, how it affects the law? What magic can and can’t use. Where they can use it. Flight zones with all the people that can fly now. That’s a whole thing. Yes, so I am advisory.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, that’s very cool.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Yes. You’re a journalist of some kind?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Yeah, it’s like a student paper.” So, I can see Timmit is not a human. “Gene, was it?”

Tyrone/Gene: “Yeah, Gene.”

Jorja/Indigo: What are they?

Tyrone/Gene: “I’m a half-elf.”

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Tyrone/Gene: “Yes.”

Jorja/Indigo: “And how has the change affected you guys?”

Tyrone/Gene: “Timmit? Sorry, Timothy?”

Olive/Timmit: “More so than I had ever thought it would. If that makes any sense. I suppose that’s probably a lot.”

Tyrone/Gene: “No, that makes no sense at all.”

Steven/Andres: ‘No, it’s rather vague.’

Jorja/Indigo: “Rather vague, and why would you have thought of it?”

Olive/Timmit: “Well…”

Jorja/Indigo: “Why would you have ever thought of this idea?”

Olive/Timmit: “You know, I wasn’t really expecting to be questioned this evening, but I get a little nervous sometimes. For me, I guess it gave me purpose, I suppose. It really helped me with finding what it is to fight for something that I care about.”

Jorja/Indigo: “Okay, fair enough.”

Olive/Timmit: “Yeah.”

Tyrone/Gene: “Yeah, I guess it’s my turn. Yes. Well, being a half-elf hasn’t changed all that much because we’re still pretty human looking. I think people tend to have biases towards people that are less humanoid-looking.”

Jorja/Indigo: “That’s a good take.”

Olive/Timmit: “I also did lose four feet of my height, which sucks, but…”

Tyrone/Gene: “I gained a foot.”

Jorja/Indigo: “If it makes you feel any better, you seem to fit this body well.”

Olive/Timmit: “Thanks?”

Jorja/Indigo: “You’re welcome.”

Olive/Timmit: “Okay. Sorry, who do you work for again?”

Jorja/Indigo: “The students.”

Olive/Timmit: “Which students?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I’m going to go ask some other people…”

Olive/Timmit: “Of which university?”

Jorja/Indigo: “Oh, there’s a whole bunch of universities that work together.”

Olive/Timmit: “Oh, like a coalition?”

Jorja/Indigo: “I don’t know what that means. Bye.” She just leaves.

Olive/Timmit: Timmit will look over at Gene and give them a bit of a side-eye and look back.

Tyrone/Gene: “Interesting.”

Olive/Timmit: “Okay.”

Tyrone/Lorraine: “She’s a lovely young lady, isn’t she?”

Jorja/Indigo: Thanks boss. 

Olive/Timmit: “Very well spoken for sure.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: I assume that Andres has made his way downstairs by this point?

Steven/Andres: I will walk up behind Indigo and just say, *whispering* “Indigo, don’t react. I’m invisible.”

Jorja/Indigo: I’m writing on my phone, and I just write, ‘Understood.’

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “I’ve just been upstairs, and I found a very interesting note. Where can I meet you? Maybe face a corner and I’ll hand it to you?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice.

Jorja/Indigo: I take a phone call over in the corner as to be polite to everyone.

Steven/Andres: And I’m going to place this in your hand.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Wow, you have the paper now.

Jorja/Indigo: I take a photo of it and then pass it back.

Steven/Andres: Sweet.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. I love that. So, I guess you’re looking over the photo now?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “What do you think it means? You’re smarter than me.”

Jorja/Indigo: Can I…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Do you want to roll an Investigation? What are you going to do?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, I’ll roll an Investigation.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Eighteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Eighteen. Yeah, it seems like a cipher of some sort, but it is incomplete. You have an incomplete part of a cipher.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh. *whispering* “It’s an incomplete cipher, so there must be another piece of paper or there’s a key to it, I guess.”

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “Yep. I found it upstairs in the clocktower - behind the clocktower - there’s one room upstairs…” Why am I speaking like me? “There’s one room upstairs that’s still locked.”

Jorja/Indigo: *whispering* “Understood.”

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “I don’t know if we have any way of getting into it.”

Jorja/Indigo: *whispering* “No, we gave the thieves’ tools back.”

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “Heck.”

Jorja/Indigo: Would I be able to fashion thieves’ tools out of bobby pins or something?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We’ve set a precedence for that. I think there was an episode where homegirl gave you a bobby pin.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You could attempt it.

Jorja/Indigo: True. I can attempt it. 

Steven/Andres: If I give Indigo a piggyback, am I wearing her?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No.

Jorja/Indigo: I just disappear in the room.

Steven/Andres: I’m just asking.

Jorja/Indigo: *whispering* “I’ll wait for the speech and slip out then.”

Steven/Andres: *whispering* “Okay. I might run up then and see if I can get the door open. Do you have a bobby pin? Thanks.”

Jorja/Indigo: *whispering* “I’ve got twenty.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nice. You’re going to go up and do the door?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Give it a go. 

Jorja/Indigo: Go on, love.

Steven/Andres: Go on, turn it up.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: Fourteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fourteen. This door. This door here you reckon?

Steven/Andres: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: No.

Steven/Andres: Okay. Good chat.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Fourteen was good. Good chat. Fourteen seemed like you almost got it and then was like, ‘Nope.’Daryl, Ceres is back with the first aid kit.

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, you’re finally back. Lovely. Thank you very much for bringing that.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “That’s alright, I guess. The accidents people get into when they’re in the wrong places.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, absolutely.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll give you an ice pack to put on your ankles.

Olive/Daryl: “Thank you. Thank you so much.” I’ll put that on my knee and look up. “Oh, Khione was just telling me all about the speech that you’re going to be giving later this evening.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Oh yes, I was actually supposed to be going down there now to do it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, wonderful.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yeah, it’s going to be great. I can’t wait for you to listen to it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, well I mean, I’ll do my very best to get down there.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “True. Can we help you down the stairs?”

Olive/Daryl: “You know, I think that would be rather helpful. Yes. Yeah.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Well then, yes. Let’s head down there, shall we?”

Olive/Daryl: “Let’s. Let’s.” I’ll go to stand up, and I assume with their help we’ll get to the door?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep.

Olive/Daryl: Fuck it, let them take me downstairs.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep?

Olive/Daryl: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: We head downstairs and leave Pookie alone in the room.

Rosie/Pookie: I’m slipping out again.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Slipping out again?

Rosie/Pookie: I’m slipping out of the room and into the corridor.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Interesting. Sure. I guess Andres would hear them going down the stairs. I think that Daryl was quite loud about it.

Olive/Daryl: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘Oh, eee.’

Olive/Daryl: I’ll make a bit of a scene.

Steven/Andres: I guess I’ll walk around the corner to see if I can see who’s coming out of the door, and see if I can see Pookie or if she’s stuck in the other room. 

Olive/Daryl: All four people are going downstairs.

Steven/Andres: Okay, cool.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh wait, no. I’m not going downstairs. I was just going out of the room. I’m in the corridor now.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay. Sorry. Three people are going down the stairs. Pookie is just above you, and she’ll help you down the stairs.

Tyrone/Ceres: “We can get you a chair, perhaps? You can just sit in the glass room?”

Olive/Daryl: “Please. Please no. No need to make a fuss. I’m sure that I’ll be alright. It’ll straighten back out in no time.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Okay, if you say so.”

Olive/Daryl: “Yes, I really, really appreciate your help here, but you know, it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. I’ve had much worse. Did I tell you about the time that I had to arrest someone with literally three legs?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “I did. After my speech please tell me all about it.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, it is a tale [tail] and a half.” He’s got a bit of a smirk.

Tyrone/Ceres: “Oh, you weren’t being serious, were you? You were just telling a bit of a joke.”

Olive/Daryl: “I was. I got you, though. I got you, didn’t I?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes, you got me.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’ll just walk away.

Olive/Daryl: As she does, she’s just wearing a dress, right?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep. Oh, pantsuit.

Olive/Daryl: Pantsuit, yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s got an ice-blue pantsuit.

Olive/Daryl: Can I - while I’m being carried down by both of them - could I potentially try to reach into a pocket to see if there’s anything a little sneaky that I can get from them?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Sleight of Hand.

Olive/Daryl: Now, I’m very good at this, mind you. This is something that I trained in for many years.

Steven/Andres: It’s a plus three, isn’t it?

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What did you get?

Olive/Daryl: I got a six.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It was close. I got a base six. Almost. She’s just going to grab your hand and be like:

Tyrone/Ceres: “Whoop, that’s my pocket there, dear. Don’t go jumping in there.”

Olive/Daryl: “So sorry.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Right, I’m leaving now. Goodbye.”

Olive/Daryl: “Farewell. Lovely seeing you again, and I look forward to hearing both of your speeches.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes, well I’ll be commencing right now.”

Olive/Daryl: “And Khione will be up just after?”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Later in the evening. They’ll be running the auction.”

Olive/Daryl: “I see.”

Tyrone/Ceres: “Yes, I hope that you’ll be buying lots.”

Olive/Daryl: “Oh, absolutely.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Pookie and Andres, you’re upstairs?

Steven/Andres: Yes. I guess I’ll wait to see if I can hear that they’re gone.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yeah, you heard that interaction.

Steven/Andres: Bloody Daryl. And I’ll say, “Pookie, are you there? I’m here.”

Rosie/Pookie: “Hello. I was going to go and start scratching the door again quite quickly to see if it would open up.”

Steven/Andres: “Instead of scratching it really quickly, why don’t you try putting this bobby pin into the keyhole and see if you can unlock it?”

Rosie/Pookie: “What about a claw?”

Steven/Andres: “Or a bobby pin.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I hear what you are saying. I will cast Mage Hand.”

Steven/Andres: “Perf.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Rosie/Pookie: That means that Spider Climb will go away if I cast Mage Hand because it’s concentration?

Olive/Daryl: Nope. Mage Hand is not…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Nope. I don’t think that that’s concentration.

Jorja/Indigo: Mage Hand is not concentration.

Rosie/Pookie: Spider Climb is. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, but you…

Jorja/Indigo: But you can cast a non-concentration spell and keep concentration.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yep, there you go.

Steven/Andres: You just can’t concentrate. on two spells at the same time. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: So, you’re going to do a Sleight of Hand on the door?

Rosie/Pookie: Is that what that is?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes, it is.

Rosie/Pookie: Then yes, it is.

Steven/Andres: I would like to use the Help action. 

Olive/Daryl: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, okay.

Rosie/Pookie: Oh, amazing. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What are you doing to help?

Steven/Andres: I’m going to use my Mage Hand and help.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, Ghost.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, my hand will guide your hand.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Bony hand on top of the furry hand.

Steven/Andres: Skeletal hand on a furry hand. Look, don’t yuck someone else’s yum. That’s for someone.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: Oh no.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You roll with advantage.

Rosie/Pookie: I roll with advantage? That’s good because I got a one.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, well I’m giving you help.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll again. Yeah, with advantage because you’re getting help.

*dice rolls*

Rosie/Pookie: What about if I…?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What did you roll?

Rosie/Pookie: I rolled a fifteen, but how about…?

Steven/Andres: What did I roll? A fourteen. I think a fourteen nearly got it.

Rosie/Pookie: Let’s just see if that works.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: A fifteen will work.

Rosie/Pookie: Amazing. Thank you Steven.

Steven/Andres: You’re welcome. I almost cast Guidance on myself before that roll, but I was like, ‘Na, we’ll be right.’

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘She’ll be right.’ Okay.

Steven/Andres: But I’m still invisible.

Rosie/Pookie: Woo.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The door is unlocked. What are you doing with this information?

Rosie/Pookie: I’m climbing up the wall above the door and peeking my head in from above like how Spider-man does.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Are you looking in as well?

Steven/Andres: Yep.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It’s a dark room. It’s pretty hard to see. You guys have got darkvision?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Both?

Rosie/Pookie: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: But, you know, lights are off and everything. It looks to be a library of some sort. What you can see, there is two armchairs with the table in the middle. Chess set on the table. Those brown lines are more bookshelves are lined with them as well. That little pie in the corner is a spiral staircase to a small mezzanine. It’s got a little balcony situation up above.

Rosie/Pookie: Cute.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: This is why the border is kind of brownish. Because that’s an upper level. Yeah.

Steven/Andres: I’m pretty sure that I heard…

Rosie/Pookie: I heard-

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You heard floorboards.

Steven/Andres: And you heard breathing from this room?

Rosie/Pookie: Yep.

Steven/Andres: I wish we told each other that before opening the door, but oh well.

Rosie/Pookie: Yeah, oh well.

Steven/Andres: We’re in here now.

Rosie/Pookie: Well, I’m wandering in on the wall.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Steven/Andres: I’d like to roll a Perception.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sure.

*dice rolls*

Steven/Andres: I got a sixteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Sixteen? A sixteen…

*dice rolls*

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You don’t seem to see anything or hear anything. It seems fine.

Steven/Andres: Oh goodie. I’m going to walk inside then. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Downstairs, you two are both in the room right now, Daryl and Indigo. Both in the glass room.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ceres will come up to do her speech. 

Tyrone/Ceres: “Welcome everybody. Thank you so much for coming tonight. I hope that you’re all enjoying the canapes and the lovely drinks that our wonderful, wonderful waiters are doing this evening. Yes, thank you. Thank you very much. So, in case you didn’t catch my name, my name is Ceres, the head of the Society for Humans Irreversibly and Fantastically Transformed. This is our yearly. So, in case you guys don’t know what we do here at S.H.I.F.T., we help innovate… It’s quite a new sector actually. We help innovate the sector of fantastically transformed people. You know, we look after the medical sector so that the doctors and nurses know how to operate and have the equipment to facilitate all different types of body types. We work in infrastructure to make sure that your cars fit minotaurs or halflings, so that halflings can reach the gas pedal. We work in public transport in making sure that there are different train sizes for different people. Yes, we’re working on making the world fit our reality more.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Are you staying here Indigo?

Jorja/Indigo: Well, I kind of trust that Andres has got it to be honest.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh shit.

Steven/Andres: Yeah, that’s not a good idea.

Jorja/Indigo: I will move towards the door.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Jorja/Indigo: And if at any point she turns the other way, then I’ll go out.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay.

Jorja/Indigo: Because I don’t want to appear as rude for leaving.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Roll a Stealth.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Fifteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thirteen. You’re good. You don’t get noticed.

Jorja/Indigo: Nice.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl, are you sticking around?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Alright.

Olive/Daryl: I’ll stay for the speech.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You’ll stay for the speech. Indigo, where are you going?

Jorja/Indigo: Are the waiters still in the hallways?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: They’ve retreated into the staffroom because the speech has started.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh, then I’ll go up those stairs if no-one can see me.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You haven’t been up these stairs yet, have you? You went up the other ones. I’m assuming that you’re heading towards that room?

Jorja/Indigo: Yes.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The one that Andres said was locked. 

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, I won’t see Pookie because she’s in that other room.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s in the big room, yeah.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll go up to the clocktower.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh, all the way to the clocktower?

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah, he just said it was in a room upstairs, so…

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Oh shit, okay.

Rosie/Pookie: Wouldn’t you notice when you walked past the room that we went into that the door is open?

Jorja/Indigo: Oh yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: It is right in front of the stairs so you would see that it is slightly ajar.

Jorja/Indigo: Oh yeah, if the door is still… If the door is still open.

Steven/Andres: Yep because we’ve both walked in and we did not close it.

Jorja/Indigo: I’ll listen because I don’t know that it’s you in there.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay, we’ll come back to that.

Jorja/Indigo: Okay.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Daryl.

Tyrone/Ceres: “So, for this evening’s events, we’ll be doing a lot of fundraising to raise money for institutes that we donate our money and time to such as the public hospital and public transport systems. A part of that is that we’ll be running a lottery later. Beginning in just a moment though, my lovely assistant Khione will be running the auction. You can see all the lovely items that we have up for grabs tonight. Apart from that, thank you so much for coming, and please enjoy the festivities. Thank you.”

[applause]

Tyrone/Ceres: “Thank you. Thank you.”

Olive/Daryl: “Wonderful speech, that was. Really beautiful. I don’t know why she was so nervous about it though.”

Steven/Andres: Daryl turns to the left and to the right and goes, ‘Oh.’

Olive/Daryl: I just assumed maybe they’re invisible and maybe they’re listening. Probably not though. Just talking to myself, but you know, it was only a matter of time. Got another ten years before it’s real. 

Steven/Andres: Jesus Christ.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Ceres and Khione will stick and do some schmoozing this time.

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, I’ll get into the schmoozing as well myself. Just mingling and talking with people while keeping an eye on those two.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Keeping an eye on those two in particular?

Olive/Daryl: Yeah, yeah.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Okay. Everyone upstairs, so you’re just by the door there? Indigo was rolling a Perception I believe, last we left.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah.

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: Thirteen.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You can hear the floorboards creaking further inside the room.

Jorja/Indigo: Is it to the left or right or middle?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: To the left.

Steven/Andres: Can I see her?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Yes. Pookie and Andres can see Indigo, I believe.

Jorja/Indigo: I’m going to crouch down.

Steven/Andres: Okay. *whispering* “Indigo.”

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “Indigo, I’m in your head. I don’t know why I’m whispering because I’m in your head and no-one else can hear me, but it feels right. I’m on the wall, and Andres is invisible, and I heard breathing in here, and we opened the door, and now we’re here.”

*dice rolls*

Jorja/Indigo: I don’t say anything out loud because I know I can’t talk. I’m going to gesture footsteps and point to the left.

Rosie/Pookie: *whispering* “You go walkies?”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Andres.

Steven/Andres: Yes?

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Does a seven hit your AC?

Steven/Andres: No.

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: You feel a gush of air push past the air the air in front of you. I’ll get the three of you upstairs to roll initiative please.

Jorja/Indigo: Yep.

[upbeat synth music plays]

Theme Song: [rock music plays]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, to make it home we can’t accept defeat, so roll the dice and come along with me, finding home in the belly of the beast

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: Thank you so much for listening to Portal Quandary. Portal Quandary is made possible by the following people: Myself, Tyrone Cross as Dungeon Master, Editing, Community Manager, and Transcriber, Steven Edwards as Andres, Olive Jerome as Daryl, Rosemary Ochtman as Pookie, and Jorja Odd as Indigo. Elias Moffat is our Content Producer and Narrative Consultant and that theme song is Belly of the Beast by Lily Harnath and Henry Lucas. We’re on a bunch of social media, including Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Patreon. All of which are @portalquandary. Q-U-A-N-D-A-R-Y. This podcast was recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people, and produced on the lands of the Awabakal, and Wurundjeri people. Portal Quandary acknowledges and pays respect to our traditional custodians and to their past and present leaders. 

Theme Song: [rock music continues]

Finding home in the belly of the beast, (in the belly of the beast), to make it home we can’t accept defeat, (there’s no turning back) so roll the dice and come along with me, (come along with me, let’s go), finding home in the belly of the beast.

-

Steven/Andres: Are you husband and wife or just two gay best friends?

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: What? You do turn a little fabulous every time that you talk to her.

Jorja/Indigo: Yeah. He’s trying to impress her still.

Olive/Daryl: She’s my special lady. 

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: She’s my gal.

Olive/Daryl: I’m always trying to impress her. She’s amazing.

-

Rosie/Pookie: Ivy Roppulus.

Tyrone/Ivy: “My name is Ivy, yes.”

Rosie/Pookie: “What’s your last name? Please tell me your full name.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “What is your last name?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I am Pookie, the cat.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Well then, I am Ivy, the retailer.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I’m pretty sure I heard someone say Roppulus.”

Tyrone/Ivy: “Crazy, who did you hear say that?”

Rosie/Pookie: “I think it was your mum.”

[laughter]

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: The fuck?

Steven/Andres: Early two thousands meme. ‘Your mum.’

Rosie/Pookie: ‘Your mum.’

Tyrone/Ivy: “That is my last name, but I don’t know where you heard that from.”

Rosie/Pookie: “I told you that I have my ways.”

-

Steven/Andres: I walk up behind Indigo and say, “Indigo, don’t react. I’m invisible.”

Tyrone/Dungeon Master: ‘You are the saboteur.’

Steven/Andres: ‘You’re trapped!’