Two Assholes and a Mic

S2E16 - LEGO Hustles, Mortgage Math, and the 72-Ounce Challenge

Ian Season 2 Episode 16

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 25:42

Send us Fan Mail

In S2E16, we get into Robby selling off some of his LEGO collection, Ian’s house purchase and plans to hammer down the mortgage, and whether a five-pound steak challenge is actually doable. Along the way, Kai drops into the conversation, we talk family life, hard water, housework, legal weed, Ian’s productive day at work, Robby’s never-ending Mustang repairs, and one fly that refuses to leave him the hell alone. 

Support the show

SPEAKER_02

What's up everybody? It's Ian.

SPEAKER_03

And this is Robbie, and we're two assholes in a mic.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I can hear him. Tweet tweet.

SPEAKER_03

Did you hear that one?

SPEAKER_02

Tweet tweet. It sounded like a one of those Irish Irish Scottish birds.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Fucking they're rare and elusive. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

What?

SPEAKER_02

Dropped my brick. Oh.

SPEAKER_03

I got a pack. Oof, I got a pack. What am I doing with my life?

SPEAKER_02

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_03

Packing. Yeah. Did a show earlier today.

SPEAKER_01

Did you?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I sold some personal collection figs because uh this girl that I've been selling to a bunch lately. She has all except for like five figs from series one to series 29. So I was like, dude, I have to give her the figs that I have because I'm not even gonna come close to completing it. Yeah. So I sold her off a couple of the figs that I have. Um I was looking for two more. I'm looking for two more that I had that I thought I had that I can't find right now to sell to her, too. But yeah, so the one of them was the Viking CMF goes for $40 something dollars. I sold it to her for $25 because I was just like, dude, I cannot sell this thing to for $47.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Damn.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, I could have to somebody else, but what series was that one from? That one was from series 19, the Viking? I think it's series 19. 14? No, 14 is all the series 14 is all like the monsters and stuff.

SPEAKER_02

What uh what series are they up to now?

SPEAKER_03

29. They just uh they just released 29. I just completed series 29 yesterday. I have all series 29.

SPEAKER_02

Would you you think you would ever go back and finish collecting all the the figs from each season or no?

SPEAKER_03

Nah, they're too expensive. Like like I said, the Viking that I just sold is $40 something dollars. I just sold him for 25. I won't find him for 25. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02

If someone was to find one for cheap, though, then would you would you do it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah, the series CMF Viking is expensive because he comes with a one-of-a-kind shield, one of a kind spear, and he's dual molded legs with dual with leg printing, and he's got awesome prints that he's never they've never put on anybody else before either. So he's just all around an awesome dude. But I have I have the Viking Village, and it comes with Vikings in it. So I was just like, this Viking isn't gonna help me with my city building. It's not going to it it doesn't bring anything to the table for me as far as the city. So I figured somebody else has got some badass like display with all the series. Like, she's gonna send me a picture whenever she gets home. She's got a doctor's appointment.

SPEAKER_02

That'd be fucking cool.

SPEAKER_03

Hell yeah. So I'm gonna she's gonna send me a picture of all the shelves.

SPEAKER_02

Apparently she's ask her if she's cool with it. Send me the picture. I'll post it on the the page.

SPEAKER_03

I'll send it to you if she sends it to me.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so if she's cool with it, then I'll we'll post it up on there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'll ask her. Yeah, dude. It look it yeah, I'm sure it's gonna look awesome. I'm excited to see it. She may have already sent it to me. I don't know if she's because I don't get notifications for whatnot messenger. Yeah. You know, you just have to get on and see if you've got messages or not. Yeah. Let me check.

SPEAKER_02

Is that standard or is that just the way you have your notifications set up?

SPEAKER_03

Uh it may be the way I have it set up. I'm not sure. I had it to where they couldn't message me before.

SPEAKER_02

Oh really?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But I think that's how I have my Instagram set up. Is that like I don't I don't want to see I don't want to see those messages. Facebook Messenger, I do. Um, I don't know why I have one up over the other. I think because Instagram, I I send more reels and shit back and forth to a bunch of a bunch of people. So that's all I really that's all I really use Instagram for. And then if I want to message somebody, either text them or shoot them a message on Facebook Messenger.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Facebook Messenger is good for messaging and stuff. It's also good for another video chat because like me and my brother and my dad have been video chatting like every other day or so smoking and hanging out and shit too, kind of like me and you do. So we've been using Messenger for that. I told my dad, I was like, you need to get WhatsApp, it's better.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, WhatsApp is nice. I love that I can fucking call people from all around the world. It's not like I'm calling a phone and it doesn't charge me or anything like that, so that's what I love it for.

SPEAKER_03

Nope, that's awesome. Yeah, it's pretty dope. To all those out there, use WhatsApp, it's awesome.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh boy, I go back to work today.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, you've been off for like what 10 days or so?

SPEAKER_03

15?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

12, but no, it was a total of 20 days.

SPEAKER_02

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the first it was that much.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Uh 20.

SPEAKER_03

Let me see. Yeah. I took Friday the 1st to the 20th today off.

SPEAKER_02

Damn. I guess I didn't realize it was that long.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I'm not getting a paycheck today. Or Friday.

SPEAKER_02

Friday, I'm not getting a paycheck because your paycheck was $7.30. Zero.

SPEAKER_03

It'll be zero dollars because I literally didn't work at all in between those two weeks.

SPEAKER_02

Is that how often you get paid every two weeks?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, every other Friday.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I get all my paychecks. All on the first of the month. Oh, even your British ones? Yeah. Well, that one comes through on the 26th. And then usually the my VA in retirement come through on the 30th or 31st.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Damn, that's crazy. That sucks.

SPEAKER_02

It doesn't bother me. Because we just throw a bunch of we just throw a bunch of it in fucking savings count and then live off of live off a couple thousand pounds for the for the month.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. That's what me and Aaron do. Like all the all the most of my all of my VA check goes to uh goes to the mortgage. You know, paying off the mortgage, trying to get the house paid down faster and stuff. Yep. And then the my military retirement pays all the rest of the bills, like my car payment, insurance, you know, fucking gas, shit like that. And then uh Aaron's paycheck and my paycheck is basically, you know, just to fucking do whatever we want with.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Random, random saving if you want, and just going out to eat, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's what we live off of is we live off of her paycheck and my work paycheck and our work paychecks. The rest goes into either savings or the house.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean, uh, we just looked at our new mortgage illustration today, and um it's it's 1800 pounds for what we'd be paying every month for our mortgage, but then my paycheck from the school is 2600 pounds and so like I'm just gonna put all of that towards towards the uh the payment. We'll overpay it by you know 800 pounds or so, and then I think every quarter I'll just reevaluate what's going on, and then we could probably overpay it by another thousand or so just from retirement and disability.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So I like I said, I want to pay the fucking house down as quick as possible. So I mean I guess I'll just have to make a few payments, wait maybe three or four or five months, and then figure out how much I'll be able to overpay from there.

SPEAKER_03

Because you're limited, right? See, that's what's nice about our loans is like there's no limitation on how much you pay off. I can I could just I could pay a hundred thousand off on one at one time if I want to, and there's no penalty.

SPEAKER_02

I think I originally thought that, but I I mean I have to talk to the my uh mortgage broker and see if she can explain that to me. Because it it's very confusing. It seems like it kind of contradicts itself in a couple different uh a couple different um sections of that uh mortgage illustration. So I'm gonna ask her to ask her to explain it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because those things can be complicated, you know. Yeah, yeah. Or confusing, you know, to the layman like myself.

SPEAKER_02

And and I. Bunch of idiots.

SPEAKER_03

Bunch of stupid mechanics, stupid heads, can't even fix a Mustang without breaking it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Damn it.

SPEAKER_02

See if Kai wants to come come chat for a sec. Yeah. He had talked about getting on the podcast at one time.

SPEAKER_03

No time to come in.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he just went over to get something out of Kirsty's car, so when he gets out and walks back, I'll yell at him. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. My windshield keeps fucking fogging up. I don't know what it's from. It must be the heat from when I had the car on. Not the heat, but the air.

SPEAKER_03

Stop mouth breathing in there. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_02

No, that ain't it.

SPEAKER_03

You can pass out trying to fucking over.

SPEAKER_02

Here he comes. He's coming. Do you want to where what is? Left here. What up? Can you hear? Can you hear Mark? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I don't hear nothing now. Did you put it on silent? You mic the mic silent the phone. Mike silence the microphone.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, I'm by myself. I'm just talking to myself.

SPEAKER_03

I can't hear you guys. Yo, you like mic'd the phone or something. Can you hear me? You can't hear me either? Hola. Hola. Oh la hola. Yeah, so can I. Do the do the head pieces have to be within a certain range of each other? I think it was this one. Can you hear me now? Yeah, yeah. That was weird.

SPEAKER_02

Sounds like ass.

SPEAKER_03

Sounds like a ass.

SPEAKER_02

Unless you're farting. Unless you. Stank booty little boy.

SPEAKER_03

Stank booty.

SPEAKER_02

Are you sure you didn't fart?

SPEAKER_03

Fucking fly keeps attacking me. God damn it. He's winning.

SPEAKER_02

You don't have to stay at all.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_02

He's just gonna grab a spot.

SPEAKER_04

What you said, your side?

SPEAKER_02

It should be in my in my drawer, bottom. Bottom, very bottom drawer.

SPEAKER_03

Should be in my drawer, bottom. Bottom, very bottom drawer. Bottom drawer. Bottom bottom. He's looking like he's lost some weight or he's growing into his weight. Hello. Not again. Hello.

SPEAKER_01

Hello? Hello.

SPEAKER_03

Hello. Did you hear what I said?

SPEAKER_02

No, I have my earbud out.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, both of them? I said Kai looks like he's either losing weight or he's growing into his weight.

SPEAKER_02

He's getting taller.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he's getting taller, so he's growing into it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, he's also watching what he eats too, so it's I guess that's helping out.

SPEAKER_00

That's good.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. He'll always tell us, hey, I don't, you know, don't let it, don't let me eat this, don't let me eat that. So anytime he wants to get a snack or something, I'll be like, hey, don't fucking eat it. Don't eat that snack. Why I want it. Nope, don't eat it.

SPEAKER_03

I'm like, you you told me not to tell you no, but you told me. Yeah. That's all I'm I'm you told me to say no, and that's all I'm gonna do. Yep. So what is he eating then? Like, so like Autumn, for instance, like doesn't eat meat. Not that she she just never liked meat ever since she was a baby. Yeah. Ever since she's a mother, dude.

SPEAKER_02

He'll eat the he'll eat what we make him. I mean, he'll have um a sandwich for lunch with some fucking fruit or a bag of chips. Um, he'll have a couple waffles in the morning. I think that's probably the worst thing he worst thing he eats is just a couple waffles. And then um yeah, so waffles, waffles morning, sandwich and fruit for lunch. Christy makes uh dinner every night, and uh that's it. Every now and then we'll have like a cake or uh some donuts in there.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, my wish Erin wishes that she had somebody that would make her dinner every night when she comes home from work.

SPEAKER_02

She needs herself a sugar daddy.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I just hate doing housework. She started laundry and I put it, I I finished it and put it in the dryer. I didn't put I'm not putting it away.

SPEAKER_02

You say I I ain't folding it and put it away. Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_03

I'll put it on a couch for her.

SPEAKER_02

Every now and then I'll fucking fold the laundry. Every now and then that's I fucking hate it. Yeah, I don't particularly like it. I hate it. If Chris is working and it's there, then I'll just I'll just fucking do it.

SPEAKER_03

Nah me. I'm a piece of shit. Nah. I don't do dishes either. I'll clean, rinse all the dishes off and all that shit, and like organize them in the sink so that when Aaron does them, it's just all nice and easy to do. Because we don't have a dishwasher anymore.

SPEAKER_02

I can't You don't use it or what?

SPEAKER_03

It just kept our water so terrible that it kept destroying the damn dishwashers. Uh the calcium deposits and shit in it. So I need to get like a I need to install filtration system on my water, and then I can buy another dishwasher and then go back to using a dishwasher again.

SPEAKER_02

Is it just hard water?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yes, the well water is very hard. I had a softener, but it makes the water stink worse than it already does.

SPEAKER_02

Really?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it makes it smell way fucking worse. I don't know if just the water gets in there and it I don't know. It just like I haven't bleached the the whale in a while. You're supposed to bleach it like twice a year, you know. But I haven't I haven't bleached it this year yet. I'll probably do that this weekend maybe.

SPEAKER_02

Do you have it? Why do you have a cord? I have a cord right here.

SPEAKER_04

Oh.

SPEAKER_02

But I don't have my keys.

SPEAKER_03

You guys are dead again. I don't hear you again. You don't hear me. Because you guys are talking to each other and not listening. I'm gonna go fuck myself.

SPEAKER_02

Two hours later.

SPEAKER_03

I didn't hear nothing. I didn't hear nothing.

SPEAKER_02

What's the last thing you hear me say?

SPEAKER_03

I don't remember. I didn't hear none of that.

SPEAKER_02

I saw it the other day.

SPEAKER_04

Checked in there. What's that?

SPEAKER_02

Unless mom has it on her side. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

So what have you been up to? How's school?

SPEAKER_04

Boring.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's what Autumn says too. What grade are you in now?

SPEAKER_04

Eight.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, snap. You're about to be uh about to be a damn freshman then, huh? Is that how it works?

SPEAKER_02

I mean it's a year ahead, so I think he would have been a freshman this year. He would have been a freshman, no.

SPEAKER_03

He would have been I don't know what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_02

They don't call it grade over here, they call it a year.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So what year does it start with? Like year one instead of kindergarten?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_03

So you'd be in seventh grade right now?

SPEAKER_02

I don't fucking know. He's about to be 13. That's whatever grade that is.

SPEAKER_03

Probably 7th or 8th. Because Autumn is 16, she should be a junior. She's about to be a 17.

SPEAKER_02

Brooke would be graduating from ninth grade, moving to 10th. Kyle would be moving to 8th.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that sounds appropriate. So they're a year ahead. Guess what I said? Start with year one instead of kindergarten. That's what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. There's one bark. Where's the other?

SPEAKER_02

Wait for waiting for Slinky. Waiting for the spam call.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he's not. Yeah, the spam call's not happening yet. It happened just before. Like literally just before you called. I thought it was you calling. It was the spam call.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Fucking spam call.

SPEAKER_04

I want to get called by a scammer.

SPEAKER_02

You want tickets called? You want to get called?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just gonna forward my phone number to his phone. Yeah. You'll get 26 of them a day. Alright. That's how many I get. Roughly. Most of them are machines. No? You guys don't have a lot of spam calls over there?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_03

Most of them.

SPEAKER_02

I haven't had I haven't had any. I don't hear about people talking about it at work.

SPEAKER_03

Hmm. You guys you guys get the spam calls where it's Americans calling? That'd be funny. There was Slinky, by the way. There was the Slinky bike. There he goes. He's chasing after somebody. Let's see who he's chasing after.

SPEAKER_02

Probably Amazon driver.

SPEAKER_03

No, it's the neighbors. Slinky! Leave them alone! They're taking out their trash. Leave them alone. That's the neighbor.

SPEAKER_01

This is like one big thing. It's fine October something.

SPEAKER_03

So what have you been collecting lately?

SPEAKER_01

Huh?

SPEAKER_03

What have you been collecting lately?

SPEAKER_04

Funko's.

SPEAKER_03

Funko's?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh damn, I got a lot of Funko's in boxes. I got like two or three hundred of them sitting in boxes.

SPEAKER_04

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. It's like a couple thousand, like fifteen hundred dollars worth of damn Funko Pops just sitting there. Um buy 'em.

SPEAKER_04

I'll have them.

SPEAKER_03

You want 'em? They're all Star Wars and Marvel and DC. What else? I think that's basically it. Star Wars, Marvel, and DC. What is that? Cauliflower?

SPEAKER_01

It was like yogurt and little strawberry bus. But they're all melted, so they're like one bit now.

SPEAKER_03

Oh geez.

SPEAKER_02

Fucking snacking.

SPEAKER_03

Snacking. Gwats in that figure.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Is it December or is it November?

unknown

December.

SPEAKER_03

For what?

SPEAKER_01

It expires.

SPEAKER_03

Expires?

SPEAKER_01

Expires.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. It's still good, even after it expires. Depending on what it is. It's not milk. You don't want to be drinking no milk after it expires. Not long after it expires, at least, anyways.

SPEAKER_02

How do you eat meat after it expires?

SPEAKER_03

Well, that depends. If you froze it in time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Leave a steak out for a fucking couple weeks and see what happens.

SPEAKER_03

Then freeze it. No, you know it happens. That's what they do with like 28-day aged meat and stuff. They let it all sit out and then it gets all moldy and stuff. They cut the mold off. And then the rest that's left is your deliciously aged meat. I used to only buy. Go ahead. No, go ahead. No, you.

SPEAKER_01

No, you.

SPEAKER_03

I forgot already.

SPEAKER_01

We're going to a steakhouse.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Where a steakhouse on Saturday. Okay. Somewhere in town.

SPEAKER_00

Have you been before?

SPEAKER_02

No, I hadn't.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, is your first time going?

SPEAKER_02

They do one of those uh steak challenges, 72-ounce steak challenge.

SPEAKER_00

Do they really?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Are you gonna try it?

SPEAKER_02

I might.

SPEAKER_03

72 ounce steak. What else do you have to eat with it?

SPEAKER_02

Uh I'm not sure. I'll have to look it up.

SPEAKER_03

Because if it's like a baked potato or some fries or something, I couldn't do it. But if it's just 72 ounces of meat, I think I could do it.

SPEAKER_01

I could do it. I don't think I can do it. There's no way. Well, how much are 72 ounces? 5.5 pounds. Just over five pounds. 5.3 pounds, I think.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's a lot of that's a lot of meat. 72 ounces of meat. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean if it's just the steak, yeah, you should try it. It's a 72 ounce cut of meat. After they fry it, it loses a little bit of fat.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, loses a little bit of weight.

SPEAKER_02

So it it probably gets down to about say 68 ounces. 67 ounces. End it. I don't know. We'll see.

SPEAKER_00

Why, dude? Why?

SPEAKER_02

I can see it on your arm. I can see it on your arm. Is that it?

SPEAKER_03

Yes. I've missed it.

SPEAKER_02

I can see it.

SPEAKER_03

Motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02

Because you're blind. I thought you were too hot. Fucking blind ass. I got uh fucking hot.

SPEAKER_03

You thought he was just you thought he was just making it up?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I got good eyesight still too. I don't know how, dude. My dad lost his around 40. I'm 40, coming up on 43 now.

SPEAKER_02

I got a blanket in the trunk if you want it.

SPEAKER_03

I mean cold?

SPEAKER_02

It's getting a little chilly. I mean sure.

SPEAKER_03

It's been it's been chilly all day today. It's only gotten to the high 60s, I think. What is it now? Now is the warmest it's been because it'd been raining. It's 75 now. It's been raining all day. Supposed to rain all week, dude, till next Friday. You guys are broke up again. You guys are broke up again. Broke up again. There it is.

SPEAKER_02

You here now?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

So weird that it keeps doing that, huh?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I don't know why.

SPEAKER_03

So what else you got going on? How was work today?

SPEAKER_02

Um, it was good. I had to drive out to Ely this morning and uh do a site survey. Oh good. Yeah, that was cool. So that was cool. No, I got to go down there pretty early, went out, looked at these units, and felt a lot better about the project after looking at the units and figuring out that we're not gonna need to do as much work as we thought we were gonna have to. We have a good idea on kit and where we're gonna get a lot of the equipment and shit for it. So it made me feel a lot better about that project today. And then I met up with uh a buddy for lunch, and so they were out at Fairford, and he had to drive out to Milton Hall for some shit, so he hit me up and said, Hey, we're gonna fucking be in the area. So we met at five guys and had some five guys for and uh then the second half of the day I just fucking nailed out a bunch of shit.

SPEAKER_03

Nice. I haven't done shit today. Actually, I take that back. I did stream, I made 44 bucks, but other than that, like I haven't done shit.

SPEAKER_01

It's not that funny. What is that's funny because I was just talking about like how we feel accomplished, and you're just like, I haven't done shit.

SPEAKER_03

Dude, I haven't done nothing. That's the complete opposite helpless. But once that fucking part comes in, you know, then I'll replace those. But I also found out that I didn't install uh two rubber grommets that need to be installed.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So I have to take the shocks back out and install the grommets. See you, buddy.

SPEAKER_02

Robbie said bye.

unknown

Bye.

SPEAKER_03

So, yeah, I still have to fucking take care of that again. So I have to pull them all, so I have to pull the wheels back off, which is the worst part. Because the lug nuts are a pain in the dick. The way that they just barely fit in there. I have to fit a perfectly sized 21 millimeter socket. My 21 millimeter like uh lug nut ones don't work. Oh no. Just went out again. This is some bullshit. Hello, hello. I don't know why the fuck it does that. I don't what is it doing?

SPEAKER_02

It keeps it keeps auto-connecting to the car.

SPEAKER_03

Is that what it's doing?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Almost got that motherfucker. I missed.

SPEAKER_02

You said you almost got him.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he was on top of my phone, so I tried to fucking try to murder his ass. Fucking missed. What were you talking about before disconnected again? Uh, it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02

Uh, whatever. I mean, it's that time anyway, so yeah, it is. Yeah. Alright, guys, thanks for listening. Take care, stay safe.

SPEAKER_03

Be safe, make good choices.

SPEAKER_02

Bye! Bye.