S2E25 - Timing Chains, Dog Drama, and Dick Falange

In S2E25, we start with Slinky covered in stickers, dog hair everywhere, and Robby debating whether Slinky’s “newts” need to go after he marks one of the LEGO boxes. From there, we talk about brushing Slinky and Roxy, Roxy’s guard-dog energy, bite strength, and how weirdly gentle she gets when taking treats. The episode then shifts into Ian’s ongoing Range Rover nightmare, including the P0341 camshaft position sensor code, the possible timing chain issue, and the brutal £6,000 repair quote. We also get into whether it makes more sense to fix it, trade it in, or sell it to a dealership, before somehow ending up on COVID car prices, Robby’s possibly broken toe, dog bite stories, future dog options, pipe screens, frozen video delays, and the unforgettable birth of “Dick Falange.” 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Well, what's going on everybody? It's Ian.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

And this is Robbie. We're both two assholes in a mic. Mike, mic, mike. Not to be confused with a mic man. Because it's not us and a man.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

It's not us and the dude, right? Not Michael Michael.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

No, no, no. No, not Michael. Slinky is covered in stickers, oh no. And by covered, I mean I got like four. Oh my god, his underbelly has got like fucking 20 of them.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

My socks pick up fucking Jesse's hair. Not sure if you can see this. Like all this fucking hair all over my socks.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Yep, yep, I see it.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Fucking nasty.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Come here, fuckhead. Gotta get brushed now. But he got in trouble this morning or last night. Yeah, spanking and he went in to his kennel. Motherfucker marked on one of my Lego boxes last night. Nope, done.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

We're having hot dogs for dinner.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Yeah, I'm about to be like, no. No. But we are thinking about taking away his newts. But I've heard that once you do that, it's they don't stop marking. You if you take their nuts away, you just gotta teach them. You know, like he already knows he's not supposed to.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Yeah. We never had an issue with Bailey. I don't even know when or why we did. I think it was not too long, maybe about six months to a year after he was uh we got him, we got him neutered.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Yeah, I mean it's some some dogs, like with with like especially with like um boxers, like it can prevent cancer and stuff like that. You know what I mean? So like that's where I was at first. I was all like, if it's not gonna medically do anything, then I don't not gonna do it. But yeah, if this motherfucker is gonna keep peeing on everything, especially my money-making stuff, then you're gonna get spankin'. Or not spankin', you're gonna get uh well he all he got a spankin' too, but nut set cut over there. We can't get big spankin's because you're too little. Pull out some little newts. Some newts, pull out some fucking uh no, pull out some fucking uh cheese curds. Fucking cheese curds. Fucking pry him up. Cheese cards. Who's a good boy? Sitting here brushing his belly, you see him.

SPEAKER_01 2:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Look at this fool, he sits here like this while. He's just chilling.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yeah, he's like, oh yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Yeah. I'll allow it. He knows like when I'm done, he'll get up and be like, okay, I'm all done. Yeah. Like you can tell like when I'm all done. His eyes are all oh yeah, oh yeah. He loves being brushed. Yeah.

unknown 2:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Now that she's not afraid of the brush itself, like she was afraid of the brush. Now she loves getting brushed. Yeah. Which she needs it more most of the time than he does, because he's shedding so bad. Or she is. Like she just shedding like fucking crate. Yeah, every summer. You know, especially during she always set sheds, but especially during the summer. Like I gotta go sweep. I gotta go sweep the uh hallway and the damn kitchen and stuff. Because she doesn't spend too much time in the house. You know, she spends most of her time outside, you know, guarding the house and all that stuff, you know, the property. But um, she obviously comes in at night. Sometimes I'll bring her in earlier, like if I plan on doing a show or whatever late, I'll bring her inside the house. You know, there's no reason for her to be outside at midnight, you know, especially when the first entry way into the house is to Roxy. You know, so like good luck getting past Roxy if you break into the house.

unknown 3:33

Fucked.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah. I mean, if she's will she she's she's bit me before and she's bit Autumn twice. So I mean, if she's willing to bite her owners who she loves, you know what I'm saying, then she's definitely gonna bite somebody who she don't know who to fuck. She's bitten um one of the neighbors before, but the neighbor was like reaching over the fence and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Yeah, I think I remember saying that when she was trying to close the fence or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Yeah. Yeah, she fucking bit at her. I don't know if she bit her or she tried to bite her, but even so, she didn't even bite hard. Yeah, I think she's afraid to bite humans hard because like when she used to play bite with me, I'd always tell her easy and all that stuff, you know. So, like when I go to give her like these tiny little treats that barely fit between my fingers, you should see her. She's all like gently when she takes them from me. Yeah, yeah. He takes them way more fucking aggressive than she does. He's getting better though, but he just heard me pick up the bag, so yeah. I may as well. I'm trying to teach him to sit pretty. Oh, he's already doing it. Sit pretty. Yeah, sit up, sit pretty. Yeah, you go. Good boy. Can you see him? No, no, let's see if you can see him doing his little sit pretty. Good boy. Oh, did you see it? Yeah. Sit pretty. Good boy. Look how long he's standing up. Alright, come here, Roxy. Let's give you one too. Alright, watch, see if I can get her to come. Come here. Easy. Good girl. You see that? She's so gentle. All done. You got four, and she only got one, bro. All done. Good girl. She's just she even does the little her lower jaw like twitched. Like when she's trying to fucking like be super gentle. It's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

She's trying to reduce her power.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

No more. Yeah, it's just all like bringing back because the motherfuckers, her species bites hard as fuck. It's the third highest. I think I told you that before. It's the third highest in the dog kingdom, you know. Yep. Only the Kangle, and there's one other I can't remember that's got a stronger bite. Like PSI wise. You know, everybody thinks it's the the pit bull and stuff, but they just have lockjaw. They don't have they don't have the strongest bite, they're not even close to the strongest bite.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Oh, so you know how we fucking work doing the uh the check engine light on my on Kirsty's car?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

P0341. It was a can't chap position sensor still. Um changed a bunch of different things, changed the sensor, did some oil change, did uh uh an oil breather.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

You did?

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Yeah, I did an oil breather swap, and light's still there. I'm able to clear it, but then it'll come back like I don't know, the next day. So tall on dealership and a couple different garages around here to fucking see how much it would get to to replace it. And you have to essentially drop the whole front subframe and the transmission. You have to pull the clutch and the flywheel, all that shit you gotta pull out just to get to the timing chain. Six thousand pounds is gonna cost to fucking get it changed.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

Fuck that. Trade it in.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Um I mean, I don't want to trade it because I wouldn't get anything for it. I don't know what to do. Not necessarily trading it into a dealership. I'm not gonna get I'm not gonna get anywhere near what I would do for private sale. And then I don't know if I want to sell it to somebody because it's got a bad change. Yeah, I don't know. Six thousand pounds though.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

So yeah, I don't know. My dad's done that before. Whenever something was broke, he's like, fuck it. Just have them do a trade-in value on it. Don't like take it in, just do a trade-in value on it, be honest with them, tell them what's going on, tell them it's gonna cost six thousand pounds, and then see if they'll just take six thousand pounds off.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Well, most of that most of that was labor. That was through the dealership, that was through the Range Rover dealership, and so that was most of that was labor.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Oh, yeah. So have them remove the parts cost. Yeah. Because the dealership has got those people they're paying there no matter what. Don't let them be all like, oh, well, we gotta pay, you know, if you're not if you're doing the trade in and they want to still do like no. You guys have the mechanics there, they're already there, the fucking work is there, blah blah blah. Yes, they they count the hours, you know, but still, fuck that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Well, I don't I mean, there's not another Range Rover I'd want to get, so I'd have to find a dealership. It'd be like a it wouldn't be a like a manufacturer dealership, it'd have to be like a used car dealership.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Why not? I mean I could. They don't take used cars of other manufacturers?

SPEAKER_02 8:13

No, no, no, I'm not saying they wouldn't, but because they're not because they're not Range Rover, I'm not sure how how flexible they'd be on the parts go the parts being bad. You know, whether or not they have like one mechanic or two mechanics at a dealership, you know, they got like fucking, you know, six to eight to ten mechanics that are working there.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

I would stick to a dealership personally, but maybe somebody else listening has got a better idea that's over there can help. But would they just buy it off me there? No, I mean help you to fix it or whatever without charging you the ridiculous amount of fucking, you know, like say I was there one department. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 8:52

It was more it was more through the dealership. The dealership wanted 6,200 pounds, and then there was a uh Land Rover specialist that was gonna do it for 5,800 pounds. Um, but that's if you know there's nothing else that needs to be needs to be fixed. So it's I think that the the Land Rover specialist guy is cheaper. I don't know. Like I said, I I don't wanna uh there's no way I can trade it in. Like I said, I I don't know, it's still running, right? Yeah, but if the time and chain is fucking stretched and I end uh end up does it does end up skipping a tooth, yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

I th I don't know I think it'd be worth a shot to at least see what they say. The worst they're gonna say is no.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Who the dealership to buy it? Do dealerships normally buy stuff outright?

SPEAKER_00 9:36

We would buy shit. I don't know how I don't know how they work over there, but yes, we would buy vehicles outright. If we're low on inventory, fuck yeah. We bought many fucking vehicles off the st off the we called it off the street because people would just bring it up and fucking want to sell their fucking shit.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Worst you could do is ask. Yeah, that's true. You know what I'm saying? How much do you owe on it or is it already paid off?

SPEAKER_02 10:00

No, we've we we paid outright for it.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Yeah. So I mean, that's a hard thing because you're probably gonna lose money no matter what. And what you know, yeah. You fix it, you're losing money. You trade it in, you're losing money off of what it was worth to you. Which one is gonna be easier? And in my opinion, for me, it would be to just sell it or trade it in, sell it to a dealership.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Yeah, selling it to a dealership would probably be the easiest. But how much you know, how much they would give, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

How much they're gonna take off, yeah, that's the thing. Usually when they buy, it's still at trade-in value, you know what I'm saying? They they buy at trade-in value still. You're only losing a couple of grand, because if they're a car dealership like the one that we are on trade-ins, you're not making a whole lot of money on trade-ins unless unless like somebody doesn't realize what it's worth, and and unfortunately this is just the way it goes, you underbid them, you know, on what it's worth. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I don't I could never do that. That was just me. But and you can have you can have big profits on trade-ins, but most of them are literally like a grand or so, you know, that you make profit-wise. You make most of your big money, at least at a big dealership that sells new, on selling your new vehicles. During COVID, that was completely different. Used car sales were absolutely insane because there was no new inventory, so used car sales went through the fucking roof. You know, I got I had my my Mustang, my 2014 for what? I bought it in 2014, I sold it in 20. When did I retire? I retired in 22. So I had it for fucking eight years. I bought it for fucking 32 and I sold it for 25,000 cash. You know what I mean? After having it for eight years.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

That was the same on the same on the Volkswagen. I sold it. I sold it for 12, I think 12,000, 12,000 bucks, and it was only worth like fucking eight blue book. So I was like, well, I mean, so but I I saw eight blue book and I was looking around at all the other ones that were for sale around the area. I've used a bunch of different sites, and most of them were going for like 14 to 15,000 bucks on a a car that was 11 years old. And you know, granted, I only did have like 43,000 miles on it, and it was all modified and shit. So I sold it, ended up selling it for 12 too, because I listed it for 14 and then had a buddy of mine um offer 12, and I was like, well, because I know you and you know I know you're gonna take care of it, I'll only you know, I'll only sell it for 12. I didn't have to worry about you know the profit because I was already making a lot more than I thought I was gonna make on the car.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yeah. So fuck it. Yes, COVID was crazy weird times, man. It was weird times.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Yeah, sure was.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

Dude, my fucking big toe looks so funny. Or my not my big toe, the toe that I'm pretty sure I broke. It's all skinny and stuff, and then right at the tip, it's all swollen like a mushroom.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Like a fucking penis.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Looks like a little tiny dick toe.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

A dick phalange.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

That's what it looks like, dude. It's so fucking weird. Especially when it's like sitting on the ground and all the like all the pus and blood or whatever is at the tip trying to fix everything, like mushes down. That's fucking ridiculous. Oh, poor toe. That shit. And it even bruised at the base of my foot. I told you that, right? Yeah. I hit that motherfucker so hard it stubbed the toe into my foot and bruised there as well.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Was it your fucking nightstand you said you hit it on in the corner of your bed?

SPEAKER_00 13:45

No, the corner of my bed. I was going to give Erin a kiss goodnight, and her normally the bathroom light is on, you know, but I accidentally shut it off before I went to go say goodnight to her. But I didn't have my phone in my hand. So I was just, I thought I was around the corner, right? I was like, sweet, I've made it. So then I made my big step because I was taking little tiny steps like you do in the darks or whatever. I was like, cool, I made it around the corner. I made my first big step, bang! Right into the fucking corner of the fucking bed. I was like, Elaine on the bed. She's all what? I was like, my child. Shit hurt so bad. Should hurt so bad. I'm pretty sure it's the one that I broke as a teenager on a diving board, you know. I fucking was goofing around on a diving board and I kicked it in the gears. You know how you can like stiffen the board up like a public pool by turning the gears and shit, and I kicked the corner.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

A lot of younger kids ain't gonna understand the gear thing.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Yeah, yeah. Well, we had the gear thing, you know what I'm saying? And I was goofing and shit and like doing this number, and I fucking slipped a little bit and jammed my fucking toe right into the fucking gear of fucking and I'm pretty sure it broke then too. Fuck. But there ain't nothing you could do to them, you know what I mean, if they're broken or whatever, you know. You could tape it to your other toe to keep it from moving, but that's really about it.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

I mean you could set it if it's fucking broke. You can set it just like a finger.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

See, I think the way mine I think it's like a fracture. I don't think it's like broken, broken, because I can still move it a little bit, but it doesn't move a whole lot. And it's been what, a week? I can barely fucking move it. Like it doesn't hurt too much anymore unless I go to touch it. If you touch it, it fucking hurts. Slinky's little ass. He does that hopping bullshit, you know what I mean? And he always does it at my fucking my feet, and he fucking landed on it the other day, and I was like, you little nine-pound ass just fucking hurt me. Funny when the dogs hurt you, they get scared, like because I'll be like, Ouch! You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 15:56

And they're all like, oh, I'm so shawy, daddy. Because it's a natural reaction. They don't normally hear that.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

Yeah, yeah. Or like the time when Roxy was me and Roxy were fighting because she bit me, so I was pissed off, right? And she fucking bit me again during that encounter. And I just yelled owl at her angry, you know what I mean? And she was like, uh-oh, and let go. But she was she was pretty, she was pissed though. She was not letting go of my me at first. We were having a battle royale. Blah. Don't you look at me like that, woman.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

No, no, I was just thinking about dogs and dogs and fighting and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

That was the first that wasn't the first time either. When she bit Autumn, we had a battle royale.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

How's her eye healing up?

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Um, looks good. You can see the holes where her stitches were and the cut, but it goes along with the crease of her eye, so it's actually pretty hard to tell, you know, unless you know that she got bit by Roxy or whatever, you know, on her eye. That bought her what a few months outside without coming inside, and that was during fucking cold times, too. But, you know, she was in the garage and I had a heater for her, so yeah, yeah. But still, she wasn't allowed in the house for a few months when she bit Autumn's face. That shit. If I was here, I probably we would have had Battle Royale number three, I'm sure. You know what I mean? But I was at work, and by the time I got home, I wasn't I wasn't, you know, in I'm gonna murder my dog mode because she bit my daughter's face, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah. Be fucking super smash.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Dude, fucking wreck it Ralph style. I'm gonna wreck it. I'm gonna wreck you! Yeah, plus Autumn was all butthurt. She's like, if you put her to sleep, I'm never gonna talk to you ever again. I was like, I wasn't planning on putting her to sleep, Autumn. She is a good dog though.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

I mean Yeah, we gotta figure out what dog we want. Kirsty's been watching, she's been watching German Shepherd dog fucking videos like crazy.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Shepherds? I don't like shepherds. I think everybody likes shepherds, so like because everybody likes shepherds, I don't like them. It's not that I don't like them. My brother Shepherd was super sweet and I lot and I was petting her and all that shit, you know what I mean? But she's so old and sweet, you know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

I don't mind him. Like you said, it all comes down to training and how you how you treat it and and bring it up.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

They're hairy, they're hairy as fuck, though. They shed like a monster.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

That's another thing. Um he doesn't shed too bad, like, but I brush him more than I brush Roxy. Roxy's a pain because like she's so big. I can't just stick her in my lap and like just sit here and like brush and smoke and drink. You know, I've got to actually be all like, you know, brush way down, big old huge strokes because she's a big old bitch.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

And she don't see what actually might help is that is if you actually fucking spray her down with a hose, then it gets all that fucking. Oh, does she? Alright.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Yeah, she she'll stand there when Autumn does it. Because she don't she won't because I used to play with her and spray her with the hose and stuff like that when she's little trying to get her to play. Apparently she didn't like it. So she's like afraid of the hose now.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

She got PTSD.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Apparently, like I was just trying to play, like, I haven't done it to Slinky because he's too little, the hose will blow his ass away. You know what I mean? But she's like a hundred-pound dog, you know. Figured she liked playing with water, you know. She does it to the sprinklers. She literally, when the sprinklers go off, she is literally point blank where the pressure is the highest, and she'll sit there and chomp and play in the water and stuff. But when the hose comes out, she's like, nope, fuck no, I don't like that hose. She'll come up to me. Like, as long as she thinks I'm not gonna spray, she'll come up to me and let me pet her and all that stuff, like she trusts me. But she as soon as the water is spraying out of the hose, she don't want to be nowhere near me. Unless, like, I'm standing still and I'm spraying the grass, she'll literally come up behind me all sneaky like and stand and sit right next to my foot. It's so weird. She's so weird. Of course, look who her fucking father is. I'm fucking weird, so I mean, what else do you expect, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:27

It's the norm.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

It's the norm, yeah. She's actually not weird, she's normal because she was raised by a not normal person.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

I finally got my screens in for this. I just bought a fucking pack of a hundred of them that I got on fucking Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

Hell yeah. You're talking about the little ball screens?

SPEAKER_02 20:47

No, it's just a normal fucking circular screen. No, not those.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

It's the flat ones.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Yeah, the flat ones. Like I said, about a hundred of them for like three pounds. So I was like, yeah, I'm gonna get those. Because it was it was fucking seven pounds for a set on through their website, and I was like, fucking seven pounds for two screens and a no-ring. Like, fuck that. I just went on Amazon. I was like, you know, pipe screens, and it came up. Same diameter.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

I think seven bucks is like what my dad paid for a hundred of the actual ball screens on Amazon.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah, I'm sure they're fucking all over the place. Yeah, I'm gonna have to get some of those whenever.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Yeah, we got ours on Amazon. I think we got a delay.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

I think we do, but I'll I'll edit it up and whenever we're done.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

Yeah, now your video is delayed. I heard your audio, I heard you fucking finish up that drink and then put it down, and then when you put it down, and the odd in the video is when you picked it up.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

Is it her husband? Or I just frozen. Because I'm frozen.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Um you're frozen on my screen.

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Uh-uh. No, you're not. How about now? Yeah, because I've been sitting here fucking frozen, literally not moving. I was I don't know why I felt like fucking with you, but I felt like fucking.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

No, my screen my screen was frozen.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

No, uh it may have been, but I was frozen as well. See? Now I'm moving. I was literally just sitting here like this. I set the cup down and I froze like this. You're frozen.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

You're frozen.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

No, you're frozen. See, you're trying to hold it in. We're so stupid, like children. We're we're dumb. You're frozen. No, you're frozen. No, Slinky, you're frozen.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Yeah, so I think I've I found it better, man. I I pack a sh a smaller bowl and have a lower temperature on, and uh, it feels like I'm telling that. Yeah, it feels like I get a lot more uh more hits.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yeah, remember remember the thing I never told you I read the instructions? I figured you're read the whatchamacallit? Do I got the box in there? Well, there's an inner sleeve that I didn't know about, and it gives you even further instructions and it tells you how the power works. So it's 2.0, 2.4, and 2.6. Those are the voltages on on my my little raw garden tobacco uh bait.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

So 2.2, 2.4, 2.6.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Yeah, so you're no 2.0, 2.4, 2.6, or 2.0, 2.2, 2.4. So you're at 4.0 just seems fucking like when you first said 4.0, I was like, holy shit, because I think the highest one I had was 3.6. The highest dispo I've had was the option, it's 3.6. So when you said 4, I was like, Jesus, you're just turning that shit to car charcoal.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Yeah, they turn it down to 3 and it does hit a lot better.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, it's weird that it's crazy that that'll affect so much, just a little bit of extra power, you know. I guess it's a lot of it, but you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Yeah. I mean, same thing with the heat. Right? You wanna you wanna slow heat it and slowly release the fucking earls. Slowly release the earls. But so if you you do it too quick, then you're just burning it. Just burning it, yeah, exactly. Burning. All right. I think it's our time. All right, guys, take care, stay safe.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Be safe, make no choices. Bye bye.