S2E27 - Wing Wednesday, Testicle Energy, and Ball Bag Science

In S2E27, we start with Slinky getting seeds and eye goop picked out, Robby waking up in full existential “what am I doing with my life” mode, and Ian talking about the problem with wanting a relaxing “tobacco” morning when you still have places to be. From there, we get into Robby’s chaotic Wing Wednesday shift, the many versions of his name at work, UK office heat with no AC, tiny desk fans, Alani energy drink flavors, job satisfaction, expo chaos, yaki, gyoza, and why Japanese barbecue sauce beats regular barbecue sauce. Then the episode fully derails into the real question: why do people call someone weak a “pussy” when testicles are clearly the fragile ones? We break down the logic, build a new insult vocabulary, and land on “ball bag,” “testicular energy,” and “you don’t have to get all scrotal about it.” 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Oh, what up everybody teams?

SPEAKER_02 0:02

And this is Robbie, and we're two assholes in a mic. I didn't see the countdown. That was my bad dog.

SPEAKER_03 0:06

No, I didn't know why you were talking. No worries.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Yeah, and I was sitting here fucking with Slinky trying to get seeds out of his fucking hair and shit. I didn't see the countdown.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Picking the goop out of his eyes.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Picking the goop out of his eyes. Let me get that one.

unknown 0:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Grumpy to happy.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

Yeah. Well, because I have I gotta smoke my fucking tobacco real fast, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how it is when you wake up, you're just like, fuck, dude, what am I gonna do today? What am I what am I doing with my life? What what the fuck? You know, that's what it's like right now.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

I wish I w I mean I want to get to a point where I can wake up and smoke. If I know I'm not doing anything, I normally have shit going on on the weekend, so I'll wake up and we'll like get ready to go somewhere. And I normally drive. So I can't smoke.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

I can't smoke before I go somewhere. I could probably smoke while I'm out.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Yeah, yeah. I mean it only lasts like what 45 minutes or so. So if you guys are out for an hour. Um well for me at least, anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Yeah, mine's about an hour and a half, an hour and a half to two hours. By but by the end of the two hours, like I can feel it fading away.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Gotcha. Yeah. Dude, last night was fucking insane.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

At work?

SPEAKER_02 1:30

Yes. Uh, it's fucking Wing Wednesday.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

That I as soon as I walked in the door, it was fucking chaos. And it was basically it. Dude, the last person ordered food, we closed at 10, ordered wings at 9.43.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

That's just that's just jackassery.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

No, it's it doesn't, it didn't bother me. You know, dude was out before we're still done cleaning, you know what I'm saying? And all that shit. And he ordered it to go. So it will, it's not that big a deal. I I get what you're saying. You know, I would never, you know what I mean? I do it on purpose to piss off Gary sometimes. Like, I'll be like, yo, I'm like, can I get six wings? He's like, fine, and then I'll get 15 all flats. You know, right at the end of the shift, he's all like, I'm getting fucking gang raped by fucking Robbie. Actually, he he calls me, what does he call me? Uh they all call me something different. Rodney? Does he call me Rodney? You know, they all call me like Rodney, Robbie, uh Bearto, fucking yeah. Hey, Bearto. Wobby. That's fucking Jackson. Jackson calls me Wobby. Because uh Joy, Joy and Jackson both call me Wobby.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Wobby. Whatever Wobby. Whatever Wobby.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Fucking Wobby. Now the breeze wants to come into the garage. It's the next day. It's not so hot today.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

Yeah, it was warm today, is it 80 82? Damn. It's 82 and no one fucking has the AC on. Which is weird because we have an AC in our fucking office, but no one ever wants to turn it on. I I brought a fucking bought a portable fan and put it at my desk, and it helps out a lot. It's like a nice high powered fan, but it's only fucking it's like 12 inches. At least 12 inches. It's like 12 inches, dude. No, it's more like uh maybe like a four or five inch fan. But it blows out fucking. Around. Around, dude.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Around much bigger. When it's around, that's much bigger than long. This one's okay. The pink slushy. I'm drinking a pink slush alani. This one's okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Yeah, I think the ch the cherry, the cherry limeade.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Cherry limeade's my favorite. That's Kirsty's favorite, too.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

So if you see that one.

SPEAKER_03 4:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

Uh I I like that one.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Um, you've had it? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Yeah, I've had it. The the one I like the most still is like that cosmic one. It tastes like Pez and fucking Skittles.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Yeah, I'll have to see which ones they have for sale at the commissary next time I go.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

It's in a dark can. It looks almost like the like space. It's all like black and purple or dark blue and purple and stuff. It's called cosmic something. And uh that one's fucking good. That one's my favorite so far. Just because it reminds me of Pez, I think.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

That like Pez memory as a child, you know what I mean? Like just sitting there fucking eating Pez like crazy.

SPEAKER_03 4:49

Is it Cosmic Blast?

SPEAKER_02 4:51

I think so. That's it.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

I'm trying to think of it without actually looking it up.

SPEAKER_02 4:57

Oh, just because uh you've seen it or you're just kind of guessing.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Um I'll look it up later. It's cosmic blast.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Oh, is that what you got?

SPEAKER_02 5:08

I think I think you're right. No, I'm gonna look it up.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Okay, you look it up. I was gonna say explosion, but I think that's too long of a name.

SPEAKER_02 5:16

So I think it is Explosion.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

Explosion.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Googly. Alani. Cosmic. Cosmic Stardust.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Wow, I was fucking way off Samsonite.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Samsonite. Oh, and it's like a purple color, yeah. Cosmic Stardust. It's dark purple. It looks like the night sky or something. A sweet, nostalgic mix of grape, mixed berries, and cotton candy. Ain't no way. That shit tastes like fucking goddamn Pez. Pez and Skittles. Skittles. And the Skittles I barely get. You know, I get a little bit of Skittle. Apparently, a lot of people say Skittles. I get it a tiny bit towards the end. Mostly I get fucking Pez.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Yeah.

unknown 6:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:05

But I can the shit out of Pez, dude.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

Yeah. Yeah, well, I guess depending on which flavor.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

I don't care what fucking flavor of Pez, dude. I'll fucking smash it.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Smash.

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Yeah. Dude, it looks bright out there. I don't want to go to work again today.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I don't know. Like it's easy work. And that's why I want to stay with it, because it's easy work. And it's it's good pay. But at the same time, like it's just not no job satisfaction.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Yeah. That's I get job satisfaction working here, especially behind the bar. Um, and and I if I thought about it, I would get job satisfaction in the kitchen because I'm all like, dude, I'm feeding half of fucking Weatherford, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's what it feels like sometimes, dude. That's like I tell myself is like this is normal. Like, you know, don't it's normal. You've been through so much worse as far as work goes. But yeah, dude, this takes a lot of brain space, like, especially an expo. Yeah, you know, and I'm trying to expo and it's fucking crazy, and it's I feel like I'm spinning us circles, like, but I'm like just going bonkers, like getting shit.

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Is it just because you're trying to make sure that all the shit for the tables goes out in a particular order, or that is it just a mixture of mixture of things?

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Um, yeah, because I try to send everything out table specific. So once everything is ready for the table, then I fucking send it out. Unless there's something so far behind that it's gonna make the meal cold, you know, because that's the experience everybody likes. They like to eat together, you know what I'm saying? So like nobody wants to fucking sit there while everybody else is eating, and nobody likes to eat while somebody else is not eating, you know. So so that's part of it right there.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

I'll gladly steal somebody else's food. Like if everybody got some shit and my they're like, oh, here's gonna be a couple more minutes, they had to remake it. I'll be like, okay, cool. I'll be picking fries or something off somebody's plate.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:08

Yo, let me get one of them gyoza.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Let me get one of them geoza. Mmm, god man. Or fucking what I don't remember what I oh uh what is the Yaki. That was it. Yaki. I was just thinking of Yaki. Yes, yes, oh man, I can eat the shit out of some yaki, dude. Yeah, especially you got some good fucking um like gyoza sauce or uh uh yaki sauce or whatever you want to call it. I don't know. I make my own mix usually. Yeah, I usually mix soy sauce, karaoke sauce, and wasabi. And fucking mix that fucking shit up, dude. And do a sauce.

SPEAKER_03 8:52

They have they make some pretty good uh Japanese um barbecue sauce called bachan.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Is that that bottle that you fucking that we got at your house? Yeah, I have it. I bought another bottle after you left.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

Dude, they have like fucking six or seven different flavors now.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Really?

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Yeah. Because they used to have like a sweet spicy one and then just a normal now. They got like a garlic one, they got fucking um what other ones did they have? Oh fuck, I don't know. But I know that every time I go to the commissary, I see them all up on there. Like, fuck, I want to get that one, but you already got a covers full of shit.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I could I could eat some fucking Japanese barbecue sauce. I would rather have Japanese barbecue sauce than American barbecue sauce. Yeah. Sorry, America. Sorry, America. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, not sorry. The the fucking barbecue sauce, just not on the same fucking level. I'm sorry. No.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

No, we went to a uh Zen noodle bar.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah, and it was uh Was it good? Yeah, it was really good. I had uh a uh pot thai. Kirsty had some like chow main type noodles.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

I was gonna get some. We had some gyoza and some tempura shrimp to start, and they had some good uh some good like ginger teriyaki sauce. It was it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Was the gyoza fried or was it uh pan-fried? Pan seared.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

It was pan seared.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Yeah, I like both ways, but I personally like deep fried better.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like the crispiness. I like it, like I mean, I like it more like yucky, where it's like a crispier.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

Yeah, me too. I like Joza the way it is, but I still like it. I still like it better with deep fried, you know, or not it's not deep fried like the same way in America. They use that different oil, it's not as heavy, you know. But you you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Yeah, I prefer God damn, dude.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Didn't see it. I'm being blinded by the sun over here.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah, dude, that was a that was that was a flyby. That's just like they don't give a fuck. They're like, that's an immovable object. Nope, it'll move because it's a pussy. He's a winch. Yeah. He's a set of testicles. Because that's actually more you know, we I think we've talked about this before, haven't we? Why do we call people a pussy and stuff?

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

You know what I mean? This shit's actually tough as fuck. Yeah, as fuck. Because a baby comes out of that motherfucker and then it just goes right back to normal. Pretty much back to normal, you know.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

I'm gonna googlay that.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Googlay what?

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Why we call people a pussy?

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Yeah, because it should be, dude, you're fucking testicles. You're a set of balls, dude. You're a little you're a little bitch, you set a balls, because balls are fucking weak. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Yeah, because you fucking get a pinch wrong or fucking flick it wrong. You're balls.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

Flick it wrong, isn't it? The wrong way.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

You have balls.

SPEAKER_03 11:55

Balls.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Um is it gonna bring me some over Lego? Uh-oh. I'm reconnecting. Are you reconnecting? One of us is reconnecting.

SPEAKER_03 12:09

Um, all mine says is connecting. Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_02 12:14

Yeah, I can hear you. I'm just looking and seeing why.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

I don't know. We'll just let it play out and see how it goes. Just pay attention to your time. Yeah, I was just texting you just to say I'm still connected.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

That was weird, dude. Yeah, uh it's I had some sort of internal failure, it said, after it kicked me out. Huh. Gave me the option to reconnect and upload. But it took a while to upload, so that I think that was what was taking forever was uploading.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Gotcha. Yeah, that was weird.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

What were we talking about?

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Shit, I don't fucking remember.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

What was I searching? Did I close it?

SPEAKER_02 12:56

You were searching.

SPEAKER_03 12:58

Uh oh, pussy.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

Why was it just stemmed? It just stemmed from the old English word puss. Because they were they were saying it in in in connection with a cat who was historically associated with traits like timidity, avoiding conflict, or being a scaredy cat. Says it was first used as a pet name or a term of endearment for women and girlfriends. What the fuck? And then by the twentieth century it became common American slang for female genitalia. Equating weakness to fem uh femininity just because of historical gender stereotypes, men who are viewed as unmasculine, timid, or weak were insulted by being compared to women or female anatomy.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

Damn. That's kind of fucked up. Because it's being associated with weakness, like what?

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Yeah, unmasculine, timid, or weak.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Damn. That's fucked up. Now we should put up why don't we call people who are weak testicles? Ask chat GDP.

SPEAKER_03 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:07

That's who we should actually ask. Autumn, I love that.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

I'll ask right now.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

I just think he's after something. He's digging hard. I think sometimes he just fucking digs just to dig. I don't think he's chasing anything because I don't think he's fucking capable. I think other fucking Dotsons are capable. I just don't think he's capable.

SPEAKER_03 14:27

Not him.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Yeah. He's too much of a testicle.

SPEAKER_03 14:32

He's a testicle. Pussy.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I still can't believe how big his fucking balls are, considering we couldn't find them at the vet.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

Them cheese curds.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

The fucking vet shit was like, dude, I don't even know. This looks like a boy. He has a penis, but and then them motherfuckers dropped, and I was like, Jesus Christ!

SPEAKER_03 14:53

Okay, it's telling me about why it's called pussy. Got that.

SPEAKER_02 14:58

Yeah, that one just go by the phone. That one's not so big, but. Ooh, he's carrying a big ass piece of mud. That's cool. It's the one that goes into the uh leaf blower. Oh. Yeah. He's carrying a big old piece of mud. He's definitely building a nest in there. I can't wait to fucking not be lazy and put the battery in there and then fucking shoot that dude out. Actually, I can't because he's a fucking pollinator. Bitch. Actually, I don't know if those ones are particularly pollinators because they're always after dirt and wood. I don't know if they actually go to flowers. Slinky, you done digging for nothing again? You ain't gonna catch nothing. Your dumbass should be fucking trying to get the mice that are inside the garage. That's why I talk to them like they're fucking humans.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Yeah, I'm gonna start calling people fucking testicles now.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

What's this say?

SPEAKER_03 15:52

I mean it doesn't really say anything, it just keeps referring back to the vagina.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 15:58

So I said, I was like, but I said, doesn't it make more sense for them to be called testicles since they can't endure more pain? They're they are a weak point. Pussies are strong and take a lot of pounding over the years. It just keeps going down, just pure biological standpoints and blah blah blah blah blah. So if you're assessing and assigning insults based on physical toughness, then yes, calling someone a testicle would arguably make more sense than calling them a pussy. It said that yeah, nice comedian style version would go. You call someone a pussy because they're weak. Have you ever met a testicle? Those things panic if you sit on them wrong.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Dude, for real. You fucking accidentally graze it with your fucking finger too fucking goddamn hard, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Yeah, yeah, I've definitely fucking crushed my test it before crossing my legs. Dude, the same. Go cross your legs and pinch my fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Since becoming older and they seem to fucking sag more than they used to, I gotta be careful getting into the truck because I'll fucking drag them, fucking drag them across the fucking yeah, dude, and that shit fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Loose skin and old balls?

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Dude, gross. I don't remember what movie, but I know your I I know the reference.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Who was it that said that? Loose skin? Oh Adam Sandler.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Oh, yeah, you're right. Um it's um um or or he adopts the kid. Yeah, it's um uh daddy or something daddy. Big daddy? Big daddy, yeah, yeah. Old balls. He ends up having a fucking five-year plan working in the kitchen of the restaurant or whatever. He's like, what? Don't die.

unknown 18:00

What?

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Don't die? I love Adam Sandler. Yeah. So yeah, testicles are definitely fucking weaker. And I'm uh I gotta figure out a way to start calling it to people. Like, shut up, testy.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Stop being a testy.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Stop being a fucking testicle.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Yeah, stop being a testicle. Stop being a ball. Stop being a fucking stop being a sack.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Fucking fucking ballzack.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Ballzac. Shut up, ballzack.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

Quit being a testicle. Or we can just say, you fucking ball sack.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Or just just call him Zach. You fucking Zach. You fucking Zach. Every Zach that's a big thing.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

Well, name's not Zach. It's David.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, it's fucking Balzac, you stupid bitch. Shut up, Balzac. I actually know a Zach here, and uh he's actually really cool, so I don't know if I can go with fucking go with that one just because he's cool as shit.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

But I guess it puts in it put insults to people that have the name Zach.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yeah, exactly. Well, just that's just like I'm joshing with you or whatever, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm just kidding, I'm just fucking with you.

unknown 19:11

Shh.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

What's another one? Alright.

SPEAKER_03 19:14

Testy it is.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

Nah, we gotta come up with the I I I like I like fucking ball could be in a ball bag.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Oh man, I gotta suck an ass chat GPT.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Yeah, could be in a ball bag. I like that one. Shut up ball bag.

SPEAKER_01 19:28

Ball bag.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

I like ball bag right now. That's my number one. Shut up ball bag. Where were you digging? You got fucking mud in your tongue. You guys both be digging today, huh?

SPEAKER_03 19:45

I just said, give me ten ways I can now incorporate calling someone a testicle from now on.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Damn, ten ways, huh?

SPEAKER_03 19:53

Ten ways. So I said, don't be such a testicle. He's acting pretty testicular today.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

I like that one. Quit acting testicular. There you go, quit acting testicular.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Quit me in a left nut.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Oh, dude. That's a good one. What a sack. What a Zack. Kind of like Carl. Carl, that's it. Damn it, Carl. Shut up, Carl. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

You've got the emotional resiliency of your testicle.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Emotional resiliency of a testicle. Dude, that's a good one right there. That one hits hard. The emotional resiliency. That's weak as fuck, bro. Like, you can't even blink without crying. You know what I'm saying? Like, ooh.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

You don't have to get all scrotal about it. You don't have to get all scrotal about it.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Oh shit, dude. That's a good one right there. You don't have to get all scrolled. We're gonna have to write these down. Where's my fucking notepad at? I'm sweating, dude. I don't even want to write on my notepad because I'll fucking sweat all over my notepad.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

I'm gonna fucking copy and paste them and put them on the fucking Facebook page when I post the episode. Excellent. Yeah. Uh he he's a real ball bag.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

Yes, dude. That's my that's a good one. That one's just a nice easy roll off the tongue. Shut up, ball bag. You know what I'm saying? Don't gotta be so scrotal about it. That one's that one's that one's my favorite, favorite. No, because the emotional damage or the emotional resiliency was. Emotional resiliency. That one's just not nice.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

Um, so I guess this is the opposite of big dick energy, it's test testicle energy. You're giving off testicle energy.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

You're giving off testicle energy. I like that one too.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

Uh, you fold it faster than the testicle in cold water. Oh, and I guess this is uh an ultimate reversal, is you know, I will say we say like grow a sack or grow a pear. This one is just grow grow a vagina.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Grow a vagina.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Oh hell, yeah. I'm gonna post these on the fucking on the page.

SPEAKER_02 22:40

Nice. Oh, that one's a good one. I like the fucking emotional resiliency.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

I like the scroll one.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Yeah, you ain't gonna be so scrotal about it.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

Shut up, scrotum. Shut up, scrotum. Shut up, ball bag. If you're telling somebody to shut up, scrotum sounds good. Like, shut up, scrotum. Fucking ball bag. Ball bag. And on that note, catch you guys later.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Take care, stay safe.

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Be safe, make good choices. Bye. Bye.