Two Assholes and a Mic

S2E30 - Diesel Problems, Dragon Ball Endings, and Dog Ball Science

Season 2 Episode 30

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0:00 | 25:37

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In S2E30, we kick things off with Ian sweating through the UK heat with no AC while Robby enjoys his precious American cooling. From there, we get into the latest mystery with Kirstie’s car, diesel particulate filters, oil dilution, check engine lights that disappear at the worst possible time, and why modern cars are a pain in the ass. We also talk Slinky getting attacked by stickers, Robby losing money at poker, hole-in-the-wall taco spots, horchata, Texas construction, Tiger Woods apparently ruining the roads, esports, Masters of the Universe, and another deep dive into Dragon Ball Z, Daima, Buu, Uub, and why the ending pissed Robby off. Then we somehow end up on fighting anime, dog neutering versus human vasectomies, testicular cancer in dogs, cones versus body sleeves, Comic Con plans, Wing Wednesday dread, regulars at the bar, and Robby possibly needing an Oklahoma casino trip. 

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SPEAKER_00

It's always something with these fucking things. What up er about it? Ian and Robbie is drinking a Coca-Cola and we're two assholes in the mic. Woo! Yeah, dude. It's fucking miserable today, dude. It's just so fucking hot.

SPEAKER_01

Now you kinda get what it feels like here in the summer, dude. It's so gross here.

SPEAKER_00

At least you got AC there. We got no fucking AC here. Oh.

SPEAKER_01

That's true. Don't don't judge me on that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, dude. I mean at work, it's a good thing. What do you guys have for cooling? What is it? Swamp coolers or what? No, nothing. There's just fans. It's gross. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking nasty. At work, there's AC units, so you can you can go to work and get some co- I'm gonna go um I'm gonna go to work tomorrow. I was supposed to work from home tomorrow. We dropped our Christmas car off of the the shop today.

SPEAKER_01

And uh Oh, because the thing came back?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, but they said they they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They I mean, well, because it went away and it was off when we dropped it off to them. So I told him I was like, I put uh put a quart of oil in it, changed the oil, changed the fucking all this other stuff. The light went away, and it came back, and then it went away again, and when I dropped it off, the light wasn't um it wasn't on. So he's like, Oh, we can check a couple different things and let you know. So he said that they just kind of looked at everything, checked the breather, checked the some of the filters, some of all this other stuff, and it's like, yeah, we can't. So we can't find anything that's wrong with your car. Like it doesn't sound like it's your timing chain because you would hear uh like an audible rattle from the timing chain if it was loose. And so we checked all your sensors and they were all clean, they all had good resistance through them, and blah blah blah. He's like, we can't figure out what's wrong with it. He's like maybe it was that specific one. Yeah, I don't know. But why would the why would the check engine light just keep coming on and off?

SPEAKER_01

Maybe they needed to reset the code or something with a damn machine instead of just I don't know, dude. It looks fucking weird.

SPEAKER_00

He said they didn't have the light, the light wasn't on. So let's see what it said in here. Yeah, he said they drove it in, connected diagnostic machine, check the DTCs, no DTC present.

SPEAKER_01

What is that? Uh down trodden code.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. Down to cucknostic diagnostic testing code, maybe?

SPEAKER_01

Probably. I like down to cook.

SPEAKER_00

Down to cuck.

SPEAKER_01

Ooh, he got a big old sticker in his ear. Jeez. Big old black one, dude. These are the ones that hurt the most because they're all dried up. Sorry, buddy, I'm getting it.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01

Look at this monster. Ooh, it's one of those hard ones. Yeah, dude, they're all like that. Ow. Well, when they get black, because they're all starting to get dried up and stuff, you know. He had one in his neck. What, you want over here now? I I rescued you from that sticker. No, you want it in my lap? Dude, he needs a bath bad. Like, he's got look at this. All this I don't know if it's slobber from Roxy or what, but it's like it makes his matte skin look matter down and shit, or his fur. He keeps trying to resist me. I'm like trying to push his head down and shit so you can see. And he's like, no.

SPEAKER_00

Fuck you, bitch.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's like, Why are you pushing my fucking head? But say, look at all that matted ass skin. Fur. Fuck, dude. Words.

unknown

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01

I wasn't yelling at you. You get all like nervous. Yeah, so I decided to go and lose $200 yesterday. That was awesome. Fucking dem.

SPEAKER_00

If as long as you have fun.

SPEAKER_01

I it would have been funner if I would have lasted longer. Like I should have not played most of my hands. If if I had one hand that I definitely played and I was doing well, I had a full house, but dude had a better full house, so it is what it is. You know, so I played into that hand pretty hard. And um that was the biggest like loss. The rest was just me playing to see the flop, even though the flop was, you know, I hadn't have cards good to fucking play the flop, you know what I mean? But I would still play it anyways. And I should have just sat there and chilled and drank more beers and you know, just chilled out. But it would have been okay to lose a 200 bucks. I played it at some place called Shrucks Shucks um sports bar. It's in camp, it's off of Camp Bowie. So it's did I ever take you to that taco place off on Camp Bowie that was real fucking hole in the wall? I don't think we did. Because Autumn would have fucking went with us. But you guys are out here again. We'll have to go out there and fucking have tacos out there because that place is that place is the best taco place in DFW that I found.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And there's a good place here in Weatherford that we go to, but it's not like that place.

SPEAKER_00

There's a place in town we go called Amigos, and it's fucking it's it's hands down the best Mexican in the in the area.

SPEAKER_01

This lady makes her own sales, salsas. She makes all the chips, she bags them up in chips, and she makes her own fucking horchata as well, too. Nice. So you can fucking get a big old fucking ladle full of fucking horchata and drink that shit. Like it's fucking, it's there's flies, there's no heat, you know, it's only or there's no cooling, there's only fans and shit, dude. It's a fucking hole in the wall, but it's the best fucking food. Yeah, dude. It's the best fucking food. I don't know why we didn't. I I don't know. I always forget about it because it's fucking now it's 30 minutes away with all the construction. It used to be 15, 20 minutes away, but now with all the construction, it's like 30 minutes. It took me 30 minutes and shit. Yeah, yeah. And they're adding lights and shit on the fucking roads on Camp Bowie and shit like that, you know. It's fucking ridiculous. I just can't believe all the construction just up and down the 20 right now. And it's all Tiger Woods' fault. Who? Tiger Woods. Oh. Because he's he's building that fucking big ass like golf course facility and and like rich people fucking stuff, so now they're fucking putting all this stuff. Yeah. So that's on the other the far side of the 20 out this way. Yeah, fucking. And he like collaborated with some fucking construction company, like residential construction company, some shit. I don't know the whole details. But um, ever since then, all this shit's like being slammed in now. Cooks came fucking um one of the one of the TCU? Is it TCU? No, it's not TCU. One of the fucking universities is fucking dropping off a satellite fucking place out here. It's a big one, one of the big universities. Texas State University. Maybe it's TSU? Texas State U.

SPEAKER_00

Just Texas AM, right?

SPEAKER_01

Texas AM, maybe it's Texas AM. I can't remember. I'll remember when I drive by it again and I see the fucking Oh, Arlington. It's Arlington. It's uh univers UTA. It's University Texas, Arlington.

SPEAKER_00

Um, if it's not uh American Military University, I probably don't know what it is. Yeah, right? I might have heard of it, but I don't know where the fuck it's at.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. No, that's um UTA. They actually won uh when um when Heroes of the Storm was still being pro-played before Blizzard fucking yoinked it. They won the college division of um Heroes of the Storm, UTA did. Nice. Not that anybody gives a fuck about esports except for up fellow nerds like myself, but anyways. I watched the shit out of esports.

SPEAKER_00

I need to. Did are you did you watch or are you gonna go watch the new Masters of the Universe?

SPEAKER_01

I have not. Uh I'll wait till it comes out.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, hold on. I don't I don't know how to see what this is. No, no, no, not yet. Um I gotta text Kai and tell him to bring something out. Don't wanna move my phone because I'll lose fucking signal.

SPEAKER_01

Were you saying the last few episodes were boring or something? Is that what you were texting me yes last night? I was confused. What are you talking about, Willis? I don't fucking know. Maybe I'm making shit up. What were we talking about? I was just thinking. I don't remember. Let me see.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, you're talking about Dragon Ball Z.

SPEAKER_01

Oh! Huh. I thought that was something else. I'm stupid.

SPEAKER_00

No, uh I actually I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that, and I I don't think they actually are are boring because they do tie off a lot of stuff. Right, like they it's it's it's a good ending.

SPEAKER_01

Infuriated me! It infuriated the ending fucking infuriated me, dude. Did it? Yeah, he just fucking bounced. He just fucking bounced, dude. He didn't give a fuck about his family now. He's all like, yo, I'm gonna go train Oob. Bye.

SPEAKER_00

Oh no, I can't say you gotta watch Dragon Ball GT at some point.

SPEAKER_01

I started Dyma, but I fell asleep and I woke up in episode three. I waited until super late, so I have to I don't like the fucking art style of Dyma.

SPEAKER_00

I do. It's just a new style. So the the two the two movies after Super. Well, super is is a is a different art style. It's not very different, it's just more more color. The the colors are more vibrant. But the I want to say that the two movies after the super series, um, the Broly movie and the Dragon Ball super um superheroes or superhero. That now that one that one is a fucking is a crazy art style. The art motion on there is just fucking wild.

SPEAKER_01

I just like the 80s art style, I guess, you know, and yeah, I do so much of it that when I s when it switched over to Dyma, I was like, What I don't like this. I don't I don't know how I feel about this.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I didn't know how I thought about it first, but like as the storyline went on, that was that's what actually drew me into the into the series for Dyma, and then all the rest was just the storyline to it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. So that's just a short 20-episode series.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's not long.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, I thought it was how the fuck do they know it's Oob or Boo? Like, that's what I don't get. His energy. It's so fucking it's so tough.

SPEAKER_00

The pure energy that he admits emits, you know, was like a complete and total 180 from Boo's energy. So that's yeah. So and it's spelled and it's it's Boo spelled backwards. I know. Yeah, I know, I got that. I just I was just like, this is that's that's really the only way they knew it was him, is because his name was spelled backwards. Right. They're like, wait a second.

SPEAKER_01

But there's only like fucking five people, however many that remember fucking Boo for who he was. Obviously, all the people in the world don't remember. Yeah. Which how the fuck do you make that wish? You know, uh everybody except us. Uh you know what I mean, remembers who fucking Boo is.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, everyone except us homies.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised that he just became so good. You know, I guess he got expelled because he could still get angry. Because he got angry at the fucking the cake or the ice cream shop owner. What are you talking about? Because Boo is still alive, good boo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he still gets angry. He had to like tell himself he had to calm himself down at the ice cream shop when he had no money. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, he is uh he's probably just like you, right? He's just an an angry good guy.

SPEAKER_01

Just like you.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, hence the name Angry Buddha.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yes, yes. Don't judge me. Me and Boo are the same. Me and Fat Boo are the same. No, I gotta get a Fat Boo tattoo.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, now I gotta be like fucking uh Hercule, Mr. Satan.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, I don't like oh, his character is so fucking cringe, dude. But I I like his character, but his character is cringe.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Was he in the original Dragon Ball 2 at all? Like as a kid or anything? No. No. Yeah, I don't know if I can watch the original Dragon Ball. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I just don't know if it's I watched it once just to say that I watched it. But I wouldn't go back and watch it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, see, I don't know if I can because I started to watch it and I was just like, this is what everybody has got fucking their boners on.

SPEAKER_00

I think it was I think what I think what it was is that a lot of the the good fighting and the strong scenes and all that stuff really started taking place in Dragon Ball Z.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And so like watching that and then going back to Dragon Ball where it's more so it's more so their journey to find the Dragon Balls.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And the just the different people they come along, you know, they come across along the way. And uh so there's not like too much fighting, too much good fighting, at least.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So that's why I'm just like this is boring. I want to see some fighting.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I don't even know why I like watching fucking fighting so much. It's ridiculous. Like I watch fucking UFC, I watch One Championship, fucking I watch Dragon Ball Z, I watch fucking uh all the Baki fucking series, so much so that I don't even remember which one is which now at this point. Like I just watched them all like in different like I don't even know which one is first. I'd have to look at the date whenever I go which one is first because I watched them out of order. I didn't realize there was so many series of Baki. So like I watched them all out of order and I don't know, and I watched them all so much out of order that I don't know which one is the right one.

SPEAKER_00

How the fuck did you watch them out of order? Because fucking Netflix is stupid.

SPEAKER_01

There was they didn't you know you know how they'll have like one series on, and they're all fucking Netflix series, but they'll have one of them like featured, but it's not in the right order. It's the second one. Or oh man, sprinkling tobacco everywhere.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, so they just start on season two rather than start on season one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you know, it did that type of shit, and it's a separate series, it's not it's not it's not like back to back, it's not like series one, series two, series three. It's like Baki Hanma, and then it's just Baki. And then it's like Baki versus Kangan Association, and then you know, and then there's a movie, I guess. And so I need to like watch it in order because I've watched as much as far as I know, I've watched each one of them just not concurrently and not even close to each other. I didn't at the same time, like I just kind of chronological order. Yeah, I was like, ooh, a Baki. Let me watch this series, you know what I mean? And I watched it, and then like six months later, it would show the first one or whatever. I was like, and I didn't know that that was the first one that came out because it was just called Baki. So I'm like, ooh, a Baki. And then I watched it, you know, and I'm like, sweet. So I need to like just go online and see what the order is and watch them in order because they're really good, and they're all about fighting, and it it explains like how these dudes have got like superhuman strength and shit like that, you know, like like this one clan is like over the years has got stronger bones because they're always breaking their bones on purpose and stuff, and when they grow back, they're stronger, so their bone density is absolutely insane throughout the generations. Yeah, shit like that. Huh. So it's cool. What's another one? Kengen. I told you about the Kengen one, right? Kengan Shumir Kengan Association or whatever the fuck it was called.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think so. It sounds familiar though.

SPEAKER_01

It had that one, you told me the main character's name, and I and I was like, yes, that's the one. Uh I don't remember the main character's name. Oh, that's okay. I do remember that.

SPEAKER_00

Where I was searching it.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. So they have a tie, a tie-in together where Baki and because Baki's like a different fighting organization, and then then the Kangan one is a different fighting organization, and then they come together and see which one is better. I think there's a big video delay.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, I don't think there is. I was just thinking.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's a huge delay. No, yeah, no delay. Yeah, there is. I just watched you say that shit. I just watched you say that shit. Now you're gonna say no there, no, there ain't another ain't. Uh smiling, no there ain't, no, there ain't. Yep. There's a huge video delay.

SPEAKER_00

I can I can see it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you may be you may be seeing me perfectly, but my shit, dude, is fucking is way off. Huh. Oh, there it goes. I just heard a car go by, too. Did the car go by when you said huh?

SPEAKER_00

Uh, motorcycle.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay. Yeah, it's back on. It's back. Dude, that delay was insane. That's just so distracting for me. Like, I can't fucking concentrate whenever I'm all like, you're talking, but you're not talking. You know what I'm saying? Because like you were doing that.

SPEAKER_00

You know what I was thinking about? Some some stuff at work today. Not today, yesterday. Um, one of the ladies said, okay, we think we were talking about dogs and getting neutered and and all that stuff. And then Julie, the lady that I was working with, she said, Why do why is it that when humans get the snip, it's just a snip. They don't take the testicles out. But with the dog, they actually take the testicles out. Why don't they actually snip the vas difference, if you will? Yeah. And so I was thinking about that, and I was like, well, it kind of goes back to the same shit you were talking about for medical purposes. Like dogs are probably more prone to to testicular cancer than humans are, so that's why they remove them.

SPEAKER_01

I know that's part of it because my boxer, my boxer, that was the reason why I had him neutered, because I didn't want to have him neutered, but then they talked me into it um because of the potential fucking cancer issues.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, apparently dogs are fucking crazy prone to testicular cancer.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I didn't know that until then, and I didn't I don't know if that's for every dog. That's why I was asking my vet vet. That's all like I don't want to get him neutered unless there's a medical reason. Like, I'm literally giving them every chance to tell me, yes, uh, testicular cancer is prone to Dotson's, you know. Um I because I don't you can look up on Google and it's not I'd rather get the opinion of a medical professional, especially a veterinarian medical professional, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

AI Googly.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it sure has to do with fucking testosterone production in dogs.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If you have dogs that are like that mark their territory and are more aggressive or more territorial, then getting the testicles removed might help that um help that dominance uh aspect of it. So I can understand, get I can understand that, like if my dog's just being that way and I'm like, all right, let me try this out, get the testes removed, see if that flows just testosterone. If it does, cool. If it doesn't, then we'll we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I just don't feel like dealing with the cone either. Like I feel like the cone is such a it's 2026, we gotta think of something better. But anyway, they have sleeves.

SPEAKER_00

They got like body sleeves, body suits for dogs to keep them from biting and rubbing at their shit.

SPEAKER_01

Really?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, well that's what Jesse just had because she they just got her spade and it was almost like a think of like spandex for dogs.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's all it was. They just had it over her back legs and have her up to her her torso. Just kept her from biting at her stitches and shit like that.

SPEAKER_01

Just take it off to go pee or what?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Huh.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, just slide it down, let them go pee, and then put it back on, make sure they're clean, and then put it back on.

SPEAKER_01

Not have to take it down.

SPEAKER_00

Or just cut a hole in the fucking thing. Yeah, it's a little winter, a wiener hangout.

SPEAKER_01

Because he's just trying not to get to his balls, you know. Luckily, you know. Well, I guess you could do a body sleeve too with the dog female because you're not going into the they cut them on the belly, they're not going into the vagina area. What am I thinking? Stupid. Yeah. See, I don't know how they would do it. I guess the same fucking way.

SPEAKER_00

For uh for for Roxy?

SPEAKER_01

Slinky. I'm not gonna get Roxy fix at this point.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, for him, they just all they do is fucking slice the bottom of the nutsack, pull them out, cut them, poterize it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but he still need a cone, right?

SPEAKER_00

Bailey didn't.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, he didn't need a cone?

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00

I mean that's not to say that that's not to say that he won't, but bay we didn't have any issues with Bailey at least.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, nice. Yeah, because when I got chopper, my boxer fixed, I had to have a code. But this was back in 2012. Comic Con. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_00

You guys gonna go? Yeah, it's at my work. Oh shit. Yeah, they said they got the go there to meet the cast of the Masters of the Universe. Damn, you're gonna

SPEAKER_01

Have like fucking some sort of special access passing then, probably, huh?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, celebrity guests from TV and film. So celebrity guests, toy fairs, comic artists, cosplay groups, movie props, autographs, top prize, Tombola, collectibles, card fair, much more. Nice. Yeah, only ten bucks like ten bucks to get in.

SPEAKER_01

That'll be fucking cool as hell, dude. I bet you'd be that a lot I bet you there'll be a lot of fucking nerds coming from all over to fucking come there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean for a cheap price too. I guess it's about ten bucks.

SPEAKER_01

Damn, that's cool. So it's like fucking, what is it? Uh that specific movie Comic-Con type thing? Or is it like all fucking human? I don't know. That'd be cool if it was like a whole, like the whole fucking Hold on. I don't know if I'm muted. I don't think you are.

SPEAKER_00

Are you are you muted?

SPEAKER_01

No. Are you muted? I don't know, I can't hear you. I don't know. Yeah, I can hear you. What the fuck, man? It wasn't muted. I uh I muted it and then unmuted it. Reset. It's weird.

SPEAKER_00

What it is.

SPEAKER_01

What was the case?

SPEAKER_00

I'll take uh I'll take Astro. I know Astro would love to go. I'll take to see if Kai wants to go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, dude, that'd be cool if it was the whole like universe of He-Man versus like all the toys, all the type convention type shit. That'd be cool.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I'll have to see if um it's because it said card fair too, so wonder what kind of cards and shit they'll have.

SPEAKER_01

Ugh. Just dreading going to work. I can feel it. There's nothing keeping people from fucking going. You know what I'm saying? It's nice weather out. There's fucking FIFA soccer games on the TV. Ugh. Me being there. Of course, that brings in a lot of weirdos.

SPEAKER_00

No, it brings in most of most of the customers.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it brings in a couple because they like me or whatever. And then there was an old couple that came in last Wednesday, and they're like, We're gonna see you next Wednesday. We really like you. You're the best bartender around. I was like, I'm not a bartender, I'm just the bar bat. They're like, Well, we don't get drinks, so you're a bartender to us. I was like, true that. Nice. They just get beers, you know. So I'm like, sweet.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's gotta be nice to have those, like those type of regulars.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because they're fun to conversate with and stuff too, you know. Yeah. Converse with. I like conversate better. I think it's technically wrong, but I like it better.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's fine. I'm too high to care.

SPEAKER_01

I wish I was high. Fucking snow. Tobacco is bullshit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You go visit visit in Texas or visit in the Oklahoma store.

SPEAKER_01

Oklahoma, yeah. I need to go. We are talking about going to the casino out there. Uh, one of the casinos out there, so.

SPEAKER_00

Near Oklahoma City.

SPEAKER_01

No, I think they're on the edge of right here on the edge of Texas. It's only like two hours away from here. Yeah. Auntie and Uncle go sometimes on weekends and stuff. So I think we're thinking about because Aaron's taking a week off here coming up pretty soon. We were thinking about heading up to one of the casinos that that week. Yeah, just checking it out. Uh we haven't been yet, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, guys, about that time. Take care, stay safe.

SPEAKER_01

Be safe, make your choices. Bye. Bye.