Kinks and Cocktails
Katie & Eve dive into the weirdest, wildest kinks you’ve ever heard and read jaw-dropping listener sex stories that’ll leave you blushing and binging for more. Clink, drink, and get some kink.
Kinks and Cocktails
Happy Hour • Bedroom Food Fails
From corn dogs to pickles, food in the bedroom doesn’t always go as planned—and this week, we’re sharing the funniest and messiest food fails from our listeners (and ourselves). Whipped cream disasters, chocolate chaos, and a few stories you’ll never look at the snack aisle the same way again.
Got a juicy story you want us to read on the show? Send it in at KinksAndCocktails.com and you might hear it on a future episode!
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SPEAKER_00:This is Kinks and Cocktails, a podcast where we explore all things kink and all things drink. Kinks and Cocktails contains explicit content. Listener discretion is advised.
SPEAKER_01:Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Eve. Happy birthday to you.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that was a surprise. Hi, Eve. Hi, thank you, Katie. That was really nice of you.
SPEAKER_04:You're very welcome.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Everyone, this is my special guest, Eve, and it was her birthday this week. So happy birthday.
SPEAKER_02:Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_04:You're welcome. Thanks for coming on today.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. I'm honored. I'm excited.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah?
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04:Did you have a good birthday?
SPEAKER_02:I did. My boyfriend Mike took me to a fine dining restaurant called Demi.
SPEAKER_04:Oh.
SPEAKER_02:I uh got drunk.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:The first time in, I think, years. But uh, but yeah, it was it was a good time. They had they had wine with every every course of the meal. So multi-course meal can't go wrong. Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Awesome. Sounds like you enjoyed yourself. I love that.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely did.
SPEAKER_04:Good. Um, so should we go on with speaking of food?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Should we go on with what our topic is?
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. Yeah. So food fetishes gone wrong.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, in the bedroom. Oh boy. This is your idea, Eve. It was. And I love it so much. I'm I was so excited for this one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And you know, it was perfect timing because it was just the Minnesota State Fair.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it r it was. I mean, and then that is all it's known for all of the different kinds of weird foods and basically fried everything.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. Did you go this year? No.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_04:No. I went twice this year.
SPEAKER_02:No, I'm I'm more of a Renaissance festival kind of person too, which is also great for food, you know.
SPEAKER_04:And I've never been to the Renaissance festival. Really? I know. Everybody keeps like saying, you would love it. You would love it.
SPEAKER_02:I would love it. It is right up your alley.
SPEAKER_04:See?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I need to go. It's on my bucket list. I will. Well, my favorite thing to eat at the state fair this year is the deep fried peppercinis.
SPEAKER_02:Ooh.
SPEAKER_04:And the PBJ uncrustable burger.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that sounds good, except for the burger part. The PBJ uncrustable, though.
SPEAKER_04:Just a deep fried PBJ uncrustable would have been perfect. Yeah. Having two deep-fried uncrustable burgers or yeah, as buns.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That was a little intense.
SPEAKER_02:That sounds intense. I mean, that's a lot of peanut butter and a lot of beef and mix in some jelly, and what are you going to do with your life?
SPEAKER_04:You can barely hold the entire thing in your hand. It was what was your favorite thing to eat at Renfest?
SPEAKER_02:So every single year, I actually go straight to the popovers, which is what's a popover? So it's a it's a pastry. It's made of mostly eggs, and it's it's the reason it's called a popover is when they put it in the oven, it pops over on the top and it's mostly air in the center. Oh and so it's great, it's just a really great consistency. It's not quite like the consistency of a croissant, but similar to that. So you can put all kinds of fun stuff on it, like cinnamon butter or whatever. It's really good.
SPEAKER_04:It's like an airy, cloudy bread. Yeah. That smells really good.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, and it can go with sweet stuff or with savory stuff. You it doesn't matter, whatever your taste is.
SPEAKER_04:Can go either way.
SPEAKER_02:Either way.
SPEAKER_04:I love that. I love both.
SPEAKER_02:I actually really want to pop over now.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy. Maybe we'll pop on over.
SPEAKER_02:Go find stuff.
SPEAKER_04:Botum ch Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Don't worry, it'll get better, folks.
SPEAKER_04:Yep. We'll be here all night. Yeah. Are you a um Martha cookies fan?
SPEAKER_02:You know, I mean, I'm a cookies fan, so yeah. I mean, you could get a lot of cookies for not a lot of dollars. True. State fair.
SPEAKER_04:But I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm not a fan.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, great. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04:Judge me all you want, everyone. I don't care. They're good, like the first one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. And then after that, like, yeah, okay. It's just a it's a it's a cookie.
SPEAKER_04:I forgot who it was, but one of our friends brought they had come to an event after the state fair that day. Yeah. And they brought like a cup full of Martha's cookies to the event. And she's like, Do you want one? I'm like, Yeah, I I guess. Of course. And like they were all like hard and like not good. Oh she's like, but they're Martha's. And I'm like, But I I could make better.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, yeah, yeah. Especially left over at a rave event. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:It was Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't know if cookies are what people are looking for at that moment.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah. But I we did go to the haunted house at the State Fair, and that was a good little kickoff to Halloween season.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that that the the um haunted house at the state fair is pretty lit.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. It did remind me of okay. Have you heard of book talk?
SPEAKER_02:Go on.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. So it's kind of trending right now.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:We're well, mostly girlies, but of course, whoever, um, are into erotic novels about masked men.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah, that's for some reason all over my Facebook feed. I don't really know. See? That's really weird. So why would it be sending me that?
SPEAKER_04:I don't know, Eve. Got something you want to share with the class?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Mike. Come over here. I'm just kidding. Yeah. Um, chime in. So, all right. So for everybody who doesn't know, there's a it's trending right now for mostly females or female identified identifying to go to these haunted house events or festivals, and they get turned on by all the masked men. Like they like they want them to like corner them and like be all like seductive towards them, and like they like show no fear of these girlies, and they're just like, yeah. Like some girls when kicked out of haunted house events for this, and like by like, because they're not always like touch the scare actors, yeah, you're not sure. And they get kind of, you know, and now they have to train these scare actors for this to happen. It's getting that popular.
SPEAKER_02:So if I'm hearing you correctly, the haunted houses are the new male strip clubs.
SPEAKER_04:Kind of.
SPEAKER_02:Because you can't touch.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:All right. Yeah. And like less expensive, I guess.
SPEAKER_04:Right. But like, at least at a strip club, you know who's behind the mask. Yeah. They're not wearing masks. Like, yeah. You're like, that's a I get it, the mis the mystery, and you know, and that can be sexy and hot or whatever. But and like the dress up and the dark, you know, like but in my mind, very good chance it's just some 50-year-old dude who lives at his mom's basement eating Cheetos. Like, I don't I don't trust who's behind the city.
SPEAKER_02:It could be anybody. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And I know that's not the point. If you can get past that, all the power to you, I don't think I could.
SPEAKER_02:It is most definitely not going to be a super ripped dude that looks like He-Man.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_02:There's like is in my feed.
SPEAKER_04:There's like there's so much AI going around about it now about these ripped dudes, like where they put the mask on so you can see the face first, and you're like, oh yeah, okay. That I get. But wow. So if I'm just showing up at a haunted event and I don't know who you are, where you're from. Don't don't know who's behind that mask. No thanks.
SPEAKER_02:No, I'm good. I'm good on that.
SPEAKER_04:I got a husband I can ask to wear a mask if I really wanted to. Fulfill that fantasy. Yeah. At least I know who's behind it. Please. Actually, honey.
SPEAKER_02:But you know what?
SPEAKER_04:That's your thing.
SPEAKER_02:More power to you. Yeah. Judgment free zone.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I wish I could. I guess.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Jealous of you. Oh, the last ride I went on, you're gonna love us.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:We went on a ride called Techno Power.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:The one with uh it's got Tiesto's face crinkled.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, absolutely. That's that's the ride every every single year. In fact, I can't remember if somebody posted it on their figure. You're like, somebody needs to fix Tiesto's face by me. Oh poor guy. He doesn't he probably have no idea. I know. I wonder if they even play any songs by Tiesto on that ride.
SPEAKER_04:I don't even know any Tiesto songs at this point. Tashi, shout out to Tashi. We were walking around, we're like, we gotta we had just enough tickets left for one ride. And we passed that one, we're like, yep, that's the one. That's the one.
SPEAKER_02:That's it. That's it. It's so dumb. It is. Every single I have not been to the fair in many years, but you know, when you go that many times and that ride is just a staple, you just can't help but remember Tiesto's face.
SPEAKER_04:Gotta do it.
SPEAKER_02:Sprinkled. Wow.
SPEAKER_04:Alright, so um moving on to this for food theme more for this episode.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Do you know the first movie I thought of when you suggested this?
SPEAKER_02:Ooh, what?
SPEAKER_04:American Pie.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my goodness gracious. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:And the scene. You know what scene I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_02:I know exactly what you're talking about. You can't if you you have to have been living under a rock to not know that.
SPEAKER_04:Those movies would not fly today, but.
SPEAKER_02:No, absolutely not.
SPEAKER_04:Everybody knows the scene. Uh-huh. Um, that's the first thing I thought of.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah. You know, uh, the first thing that I thought of actually was when uh a friend of mine who will remain unnamed uh came over to my house and we were putting bananas in his mouth.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, what kind of party was this, Eve?
SPEAKER_02:It was just a regular old party.
SPEAKER_04:Just a typical Tuesday. Just a typical Tuesday.
SPEAKER_02:And so, you know what? Actually, I'll just leave it at that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, leave it at that if you will. We can we'll use our imagination. It wasn't the kind of party you'd think it was. I I've I've heard it all. I don't know where to go with this. Um I know you, you know me, we know our friends. I I have no idea. Nope, yep, it's a mystery. All right, we'll leave it a mystery then, and it's gonna bug me the entire time. Thanks for the invite. Invite me next time.
SPEAKER_02:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:Um, so I thought this episode needed a long, linden list. I can't talk today. Yeah. A long, winded list of foods typically used in the bedroom. So I'm gonna take a deep breath here. Oh goodness. All right. Ready?
SPEAKER_02:Yes. I'm here for it.
SPEAKER_04:Chocolate, whipped cream, honey, caramel, syrups, ice cream. Sounds like a brain freeze. Strawberries, bananas, peanut butter, jelly, marshmallows, pudding, cookies, cake, sprinkles, glitter for your bits, soda, champagne, cherries, peaches, edible oils, chocolate sauce, frosting, candy, gel, lollipops, liquor for body shops, and of course, cocktails. Did it.
SPEAKER_02:That was really great. Thank you. I would give you a high five if I wouldn't for sure accidentally hit this camp or this microphone in front of me.
SPEAKER_04:Air five, air cheers. There we go.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Well, now I'm out of breath. So should we move on to stories?
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Do you want to do the first one here? Let me catch my breath.
SPEAKER_02:Sure can. Take it away, Eve. So so this one was sent in from uh well, it's called the Nacho incident, first of all. Oh boy. It's from a college kid. So uh the story happened at 2 a.m. The subject of the letter says Nacho Night Disaster.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02:Yo, Katie, girlfriend.
SPEAKER_04:Yo.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's how it starts.
SPEAKER_04:Love it.
SPEAKER_02:And uh girl, my girlfriend and I thought nachos in bed would be fun. Bad idea. Melted cheese is hotter than lava. Jalapen Yos don't belong anywhere near sensitive zones. And I ended up in the ER with an ice pack between my legs. The nurse didn't even ask questions, just gave me that you dumbass look. The moral of the story: nachos are for Netflix, not sex. That's from Brad, age 23, still traumatized.
SPEAKER_04:Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, the first question I had is what actually happened that he ended up in the ER.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_02:Um there's a lot to unpack there.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Yeah. Was it the the Brad? Don't get don't get me wrong. I love some nachos, especially that fake ass cheese that's like not even real cheese. Oh my god. Give me that gas station movie theater cheese. I love it. I don't know if I love it that much, but you're not in love with well, maybe. Um don't tempt me with a good time of char queso. Hey. That reminds me, I guess. Sorry, Danny. Um, ooh, the tea.
SPEAKER_02:Drop the tea.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh. So we cook very spicy food.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Right?
SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_04:And before we learn to use gloves while cooking said spicy food, um, things started going down in the bedroom after dinner.
SPEAKER_02:Oh. Well then.
SPEAKER_04:This is with Thai chili peppers, mind you. Very hot spicy pepper.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:All of a sudden I start screaming and I start running to the shower. Cold shower. Everything was burning. I turned up fine. But Handy's like laughing. I'm like, it's not funny.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, man. Thank you for painting such a vivid picture of that.
SPEAKER_04:So from now on, you always see a box of cooking gloves in our kitchen.
SPEAKER_02:Hey, you know, you gotta protect sexy time.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Yes. So I feel for you. I don't know how it got as far as where you ended up in the ER, but yikes.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I well, maybe it was the burning of the cheese sauce.
SPEAKER_02:It was the burning sensation.
SPEAKER_04:Like a burned the skin. Oh god.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Sorry, Brad.
SPEAKER_04:I have so many ER nurse friends and uh the the things I've heard.
SPEAKER_02:Oh man.
SPEAKER_04:I mean Yeah. Yeah. Wow. All right. Well, thanks for that, Brad. I'm glad you're okay. Hope you're okay. All right, so I guess I'll move on. My night my story. So my first story is not really a story that somebody wrote in. It's it's somebody that we both personally know.
SPEAKER_02:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:Um let's see. But she told me I could share this on here.
SPEAKER_02:Excellent.
SPEAKER_04:Uh you know what? She's not gonna care. Shout out to Irma. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:I can't wait to hear this story.
SPEAKER_04:So she was deeply involved in her local BDSM scene before she moved here. Attended their local dungeon all the time, everything like that. So one time they held an event at the dungeon where she was a human sushi bored.
SPEAKER_02:Ooh, Irma.
SPEAKER_04:Uh-huh. So she laid naked at a table, and sushi was placed everywhere, including like pickled ginger, horserad or wasabi, the whole thing. And people can just come up and eat it directly off of her anywhere they wanted to. Her dom was standing right next to her the entire time, and people had to ask her permission first. And so, yeah, that's what she did.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04:People just line up and eat sushi off her, and yeah.
SPEAKER_02:My jaw is on the ground. It is. I can't wait till next time I hang out with her.
SPEAKER_04:I can see your jaw on the floor.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, so hey. I love that though. Could you imagine like a charcuterie board?
SPEAKER_04:No kidding.
SPEAKER_02:Especially millennials. Like. But like, I mean, that's just, yeah. I don't think I could sit still long enough.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_02:I'd get too fidgety, or if it were sushi, I would for sure start eating it myself.
SPEAKER_04:Right. I would just eat it off myself.
SPEAKER_02:Whatever. It's fine. I'm just gonna have a couple pieces. Just here and there.
SPEAKER_04:Wait, it'd be like shark coochie board. I guess. Oh boy. We're done here. Okay. And there we go. Nice.
SPEAKER_02:Do you want to go next? Yeah, absolutely. So this one, this is uh about strawberry shortcake.
SPEAKER_04:So I love strawberry shortcake.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, it's Death by Dairy. So hi kinks and cocktails. So I thought I was being adorable. Whipped cream bikini, strawberries in all the right places. My boyfriend was loving it. But whipped cream melts faster than you'd think, and suddenly it was running into places I'd not planned for. Oh boy. Dairy plus vagina equals nope.
SPEAKER_04:What? I mean, they're not wrong, but I was just waiting to read that.
SPEAKER_02:Dairy plus vagina equals nope. The whole thing ended with me in the shower, sticky in all the wrong ways. Swearing off Ready Whip Forever. Love you guys, Amber.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yeah. I want that on a t-shirt. What was it again?
SPEAKER_02:Dairy plus vagina equals nope.
SPEAKER_04:I want that on a shirt.
SPEAKER_02:Screen a shot to listen to you.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Put it in our merch store. Hold on.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's that's actually that's a great idea.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I mean, it's not bad advice. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Even quote her, put Amber. Yes, from Amber. From Amber. Some of the cocktails.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you, Amber. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That was a good one.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy. Alright, so my first actual story, somebody wrote in I went in hot with a state fair story. And so we were just talking about it. Alright, let's go. Hey, K and C crew. I don't know if this is a kink story or just a food mishap that turned into something else, but I figured if anything would get it, it's you guys. So at the Minnesota State Fair, shout out, my boyfriend and I caved and bought some of those deep fried ranch wonton things. I was already a little buzzed from hard lemonade, and honestly, it felt wrong just holding it, this glob of deep fried ranch. It was the most Minnesotan thing I've ever did in my entire life.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know about this deep fried ranch.
unknown:I can't.
SPEAKER_02:I have strong feelings about ranch. And those feelings are I don't like it. So deep fried ranch. What's what are we what where what we're in the middle of the timeline is this?
SPEAKER_04:Deep fried ranch. Yeah. How does that even I don't even okay? I don't know. Yeah. Okay. So anyways. So he takes this massive bite, and of course, the ranch explodes everywhere. Hot, greasy, dripping down his chin, all over his shirt, and then it splashed right onto me.
SPEAKER_02:Not the only thing exploded.
SPEAKER_04:It slid down into my cleavage, and we just stood there for a second laughing about it until we both paused and just looked at each other with these with those eyes. This had just turned us both on. We were both a mess, and people were staring. So we ducked off into one of those little garden areas behind the food stands. He leaned me against a fence, and I swear, almost melted when he started licking the ranch off my chest like it was the best ranch he's ever had in his entire life.
SPEAKER_03:Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_04:We made out and then he grabbed another wonton and burst it open all over my tits again. He cleaned them up well with his tongue and kept having the hottest makeout session ever, right there in the middle of the state fair. We eventually went back out into the crowd like nothing happened. And we're tempted to buy another order of deep fried ranch. It is the sexiest thing ever. And now we never look at ranch the same way again. Thanks for reading from ranch lovers.
SPEAKER_02:I'll have what they're having.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Like now I kind of want some.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, I'd like I would like some ranch.
SPEAKER_04:I think I have a bottle upstairs.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, it just got real.
SPEAKER_04:Ranch body shots for Patreon. Woo!
SPEAKER_02:Nailed it.
SPEAKER_04:If you want to join our Patreon, it's only dollar a month, patreon.com slash kinks of cocktails. All right.
SPEAKER_02:Shameless plugs.
SPEAKER_04:There may or may not be ranch body shots on there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Ooh.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Alrighty Eve, you're up to the show.
SPEAKER_02:All right. Well, this is another sushi one. Oh boy. So, yes. When oh yeah. It's it's it's when sushi goes erotic and fails. Yes. That's the title or the subject line. Dear Katie, I'm a connoisseur of fine cuisine, and I thought pairing sushi with sex would be a masterpiece. I laid out sashimi, portsake, even fanned out wasabi like an artist's palette. But alas, raw tuna does not fare well at room temperature. Within hours, both of us were violently ill, groaning in bed. Not from pleasure, but from food poisoning. Truly the least sexy night of my life. Respectfully, Gregory T.
SPEAKER_04:No, Gregory, no!
SPEAKER_02:Uh yeah. That's uh cla classic sushi mistake.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you wanna you don't want to leave that sitting out too long.
SPEAKER_04:No, it's not worth the if I even question it, if it's been sitting out too long, throw it in the garbage, throw it away.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Not not worth it.
SPEAKER_02:No. Irma had a much better time.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I don't it probably wasn't even sitting out long enough for that to even question.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I mean it wasn't probably sitting out for longer than a few seconds.
SPEAKER_04:Right. No problems at all. No. Oh, that is dangerous, though. Don't leave it out. Don't eat it.
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_04:Oh. Well, I'm glad you tried to have fun.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I have another seafood one.
SPEAKER_02:Ooh, excellent.
SPEAKER_04:Glad a seafood lovers out here.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:My goodness. Okay. Subject. Oysters plus bedroom equals disaster.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:I already don't like this. No. So that's all we need to read is the subject end fun. That's the story, folks. Don't do it. It's a trap. Hey, kinky friends. Love the show, love the chaos. So I had to share this little seafood disaster with you. So my partner and I thought we'd spice things up one night with oysters. You know, since they're supposed to be an aphrodisiac. It was a nice little at-home date night, classy, sexy champagne and seduction kind of vibe. Well, we decided to take it one step further and bring the oysters into the bedroom. First, he put one in between my breasts and slurped it up. At first it was hot. Then he laid one right between my thighs. Yes, you know where. And slurped it straight out of me. As then he put it inside of me and slurped it out. Alright, well, I'm out. Like he was all at he was at an all-you-can-eat oyster bar.
SPEAKER_02:Judgment free zone, though. Judgment free zone, but I judge it. I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_04:Sloppy, salty, ridiculous. But we were both into it. Until, of course, we weren't. One slipped, and not out of me, in. Too far in. Yep. The oyster went missing. Straight inside of me. At first we were laughing, thinking we could just, you know, fish it out, pun intended.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my.
SPEAKER_04:Oysters are slippery little fuckers. We tried fingers, lube, different positions. Nothing worked. That thing was hiding in there like it was setting up a condo.
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. Panic sets in. Yeah, right? We realize this is getting seriously dangerous. We throw our clothes on, and next thing I know, we're at the ER trying to explain to a nurse with a completely straight face that's that there's an oyster stuck in my vagina. She gave us the look. You know the one. Like, really? This is what I have to deal with tonight.
SPEAKER_02:Mm-hmm. Or the nurse earlier, you dumbass.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I can't. I would love to read like a self-written book by a nurse of just like I'd pay big money for that. Thanks for me. But have a but I don't know. They eventually got it out, but not before a lecture about bacteria infections and how raw shellfish is probably not the best sex toy. And of course, I still ended up with an infection a few days later. Nothing says romance like antibiotics and a smell. I hope to never smell again.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:And then I hope it goes away.
SPEAKER_02:Shoot.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah. Oysters may be an aphrodisiac, but trust me, keep them in the kitchen in your mouth, not in the bedroom or downstairs. Clink and drink anonymous.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, or downstairs, quote. Right.
SPEAKER_04:Keep them out of vagina.
SPEAKER_02:Oysters plus vagina equals nope. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Another t-shirt. TM, TM, TM, TM. TM.
unknown:Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04:Special edition t-shirts from the episode Eve was on perfect. Abs Yeah. You know what? You heard it here first. Yes, I love it.
SPEAKER_02:Wow. Oh, goodness. So speaking of traps. Take it away. The oysters being a trap. This is about a honey trap.
SPEAKER_03:Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So this this story, I actually know the people. They said I could tell the story, but I'm not going to say who it is. I love what this happens. Oh, yes, yes. So here we are. So we tried honey. Don't. It dripped down too far, and suddenly my boyfriend's pubes were basically glued shut. He's stuck to me. I'm stuck to him. And we're sitting there like two idiots with a pot of regrets. Had to get the scissors. First of all, do some do some manscaping and some trimming down there, people. Like, you know, this wouldn't happen.
SPEAKER_04:If you're using something sticky, especially.
SPEAKER_02:What were you thinking?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Anyways, I made fun of them for a long time. Thank you. Had to get the scissors. Now he's got a bald patch down there and it looks like a crop failure. Just that's the whole story. Thought you'd appreciate it. Thanks, Eve.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my god.
unknown:Thank you.
SPEAKER_02:No, they're thanking. I know.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you, Eve. Oh my god. I'm gonna be so curious now who this is. Well, I'm sure they're listening. Thank you for the story.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:I appreciate it so, so, so much. And I hope lesson learned.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Don't get stuck in the honey pot.
SPEAKER_02:Also, like that must have been some sticky honey.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that must have been like that high grade, like like the$20 bottle where it's like extra gooey and sticky. It's like fresh from the farm.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, fresh from the farm. Nice.
SPEAKER_04:Straight from the hive.
SPEAKER_02:Straight from the hive. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. Thank you. Whoever wrote that in, and we appreciate it.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:All right, let's move on here. Subject, the pickle jar incident.
SPEAKER_02:Alright, alright. Go on.
SPEAKER_04:Hey, kicks and cocktails crew. Love the pod, so I figured I'd share the story of the night. I officially retired food play forever. My partner and I were feeling adventurous. And after a few drinks, we raided the fridge. Most of the quote-unquote normal options were gone. So what did we land on? A jar of pickles. Don't ask me how or why, but in the moment it felt like it was genius. Things started out kind of silly. He was feeding me pickles. He was watching me suck on them seductively. I was giggling. It was fun. Then he decided to take it up a notch and drizzle some pickle juice on my downstairs area to lick it up. Immediate problem. Pickle juice burns when it gets into freshly shaved skin.
unknown:Oh god.
SPEAKER_04:So now I'm squealing and not in a sexy way. But the real disaster? He sets the jar on the nightstand. We're fumbling around and suddenly crash. Glass everywhere. Pickle juice all over the floor, the bed, and us. The whole room smelled like a New York deli. We're scrambling, half naked, trying to pick shards of glass out of the carpet while slipping on brine.
SPEAKER_02:Mmm, hot. That sounds real sexy.
SPEAKER_04:The mood, dead. We spent the next two weeks using a professional carpet cleaner every day trying to get the smell out. I swear it still lingers to this day, though. Lesson learned. Some things belong in the fridge, not the bedroom. Clink and drink from pickle lover.
SPEAKER_02:Clink and drink.
SPEAKER_04:That is our saying around here sometimes. Nice.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:So I totally thought that the story was going somewhere else. And I mean the pickle was going somewhere else. That's where I thought it was going.
SPEAKER_02:Also, my question was how does squealing sound sexy in the middle of her story? Not squealing in the sexy way. I mean, I know of all the things to pick out of that story, that's the piece I pulled, but I was just like stuck. How do you squeal excited? I mean, I squeal when I see pickles. So you know what? That's a fair point. All right, thank you. We've answered that question. Well no, I love pickles. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_04:Honey. You brought out the pickle chart tonight? Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh yeah. All right, that's a different podcast.
SPEAKER_02:Pickles and pickles.
SPEAKER_04:Pickles and pickles. You know what? If anybody just has pickle stories, oh that's a good one. Please send them in. Yes. We will do an entire pickle-themed bonus episode.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. I think that's a perfect idea.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. You can send them in at kinksandcocktails.com. You'll find the anonymous form. Yeah, go ahead. Send them in. Please. Alrighty, you take it away with the next story.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. So I also have one from the Minnesota State Fairs. Yes. Yeah. This is about corndogs and regret. Of course it is. Hiya, Kinks and Cocktails. So me and my guy had been drinking those giant lemonades and, you know, feeling a little frisky. I like where this is going. We sneak back to the motel with a corn dog because, of course, that seemed like a good idea at the time. One thing leads to another, and let's just say we tested out the phrase Minnesota hot dish. Alright. Problem is, corn dogs are greasy as all get out. And once things got slippery, it was less sexy and more like wrestling in the butter sculpture barn. The stick broke mid-scene. Mid-cene. Oh, geez. Crumbs everywhere, and I ended up with mustard in the place. I've never made to my gynecologist. We still go to the fair every year, but now I can't look at the Pronto Pup stand without blushing. Oh my god. Lots of love and lube. Lots of love and lube. Cornstar. From Saint Ball. Oh my god. Cornstar.
SPEAKER_04:Cornstar. I love that. I love that movie.
SPEAKER_02:I absolutely love that too. That should also be a t-shirt. Cornstar from Saint Paul. With a corn dog. Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_04:I love this. Cornstar. Okay. I'm like gonna make notes when I listen back to this for all this merch for this episode special edition.
SPEAKER_02:We'll put my little my DJ logo in the bottom corner. Yeah, okay, perfect.
SPEAKER_04:Go ahead and plug your DJ stuff, Evie. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. You know, so um, yeah, so I've got a few things going. So um you are familiar with um um with Gateway, so that's an underground thing. So I won't say much here. So reach out and touch base with me some other way. Your uh social media. Do you drop your social media? Absolutely, yep, absolutely. Um, so I also am gonna be starting up a Sundays, uh uh Sunday event at Roxy's Cabaret, which is in downtown Minneapolis. That's gonna be every Sunday, uh, starting October 5th, which is great because there's uh a lot of things that or it's not gonna be a lot of things going on on Sundays, apparently here in the near future. So it's great to provide a new spot. Um and I've got various gigs throughout. Um I do feral dance, um, which I know a lot of people have heard of, but I do other one-off shows here and there. So um so feel free to check out check out my socials. It's underscore DJ Eve underscore on Instagram and then uh DJ Eve on Facebook, and that's pretty much all I use. So the other ones kind of annoy me.
SPEAKER_04:Don't blame me there. Yeah. Well, perfect. Thank you. So if you're in the Minneapolis Twin Cities area, there you go.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, absolutely. Thanks. All right, so should we jump into uh the next story here?
SPEAKER_04:Sure. All right, I guess I'm up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you're up.
SPEAKER_04:Subject the mango mayhem. Hankanes and cocktails and all inflatable friends. Oh, Alien, you got a shout-out. Shout out to Alien. All right, Alan the Alien.
SPEAKER_02:Alan the Alien.
SPEAKER_04:All right, so I had this genius idea one summer. Tropical vibes, fruity cocktails. Why not bring some of those fruits into the bedroom? Sweet, juicy, sticky, seem perfect, right? Wrong. We sliced out a couple of ripe mangoes, and at first it was kind of sexy. But nobody warned me just how slimy mango gets once it's smeared on side.
SPEAKER_02:That is no joke. Um well, just outed myself, I guess. Oh, well then it's totally not what you think.
unknown:Again.
SPEAKER_04:Oh boy. Within minutes, we weren't sliding against each other in a sexy way. We were basically two greased, sticky, fruity pigs wrestling in pet. Then came the sting. Oh no. Okay. Um Q itchy wealth spreading in places I do not want to describe in detail. But the next morning, uh, I explained to urgent care nurses why my thighs looked like I'd rolled in nettles. Okay, so I had to pause real quick. I had to look this up because I wasn't sure why the mango skin makes you sting.
SPEAKER_03:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:I didn't know this was a thing. So apparently the skin of a mango fruit on human skin can make you itch and welt up like crazy. And I never knew that.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:I think I have some mangoes in the fridge. You want to try, Eve? Yeah. For science?
SPEAKER_02:I can do it for science, actually. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:I'm kidding. Oh god. Oh, okay. We're not we're not going to the yard at it. Oops.
SPEAKER_02:All right, moving on. No, I do. You're like try that. Absolutely not. I don't know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_04:No, I didn't know that was a thing. I don't know that can happen with mangoes. Anyway, so neither. That's news to me. Now we know muted. The more you know. Cue the rainbow star. To make it worse, the bedroom smelled like a tiki bar dumpster for a week. Sheets ruined, mattress protector ruined, and our sex life briefly ruined until our skin healed completely.
SPEAKER_02:Oh goodness. I like how they added briefly.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_04:I have an amazing partner, but a not so amazing love for mangoes anymore. Thanks for everything. Be careful of fruits. I'm anonymous.
SPEAKER_02:Be careful of fruits.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Well, yeah. That's a good one. I guess. Always a good takeaway. Be careful of fruits. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That could be another shirt. Be careful of fruits.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Be careful with fruits. Yeah. That is some dangerous stuff. It is. Absolutely. And they're telling you. Did we ask?
SPEAKER_02:Actually, that's a very good point, Kate. Did we ask about the fruits' feelings?
SPEAKER_04:The fruit did not give consent to participate. That's why they're the third in the bedroom. Yes. That mango does not want to be down there. They don't want to be the third in the bedroom for your partner trying to spice things up. I know. Literally.
SPEAKER_02:That mango has feelings. Yes. Leave the mango alone. Nice. All right. So this speaking of mangoes, this is about chocolate. My next one is about chocolate, too. Oh perfect segue. Go ahead. Excellent. Dearest Kinks and Cocktails, we saw decadence. We rented a chocolate fountain. We dreamed of satin skin and molten sweetness. Whoa. I know. That's intense. I feel like I'm looking, I feel like there's a chocolate fountain in like a mixture right now.
SPEAKER_04:I was gonna say, wait, wait, wait. They wanted a chocolate fountain for the bedroom. Okay, because my first thing comes to mind is like one of those small chocolate fountains, like a foot tall. Yeah. What are you doing with that? Like dipping your dick in it? I don't know. But then you went on, and now I'm picturing a giant, like mansion size one.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, in a mansion, and like you could still you could still dip your dick in it, but it's much bigger now. Now there's like eight goddesses swimming. Right in it. It's like I'm imagining like, you know, like marble staircase in the background and stuff.
SPEAKER_04:So there's the bedroom table side side one where you just put your dick in. Yes. And then there's the mansion size one where there's eight goddesses swimming in it. It'll fit your dick and your balls. There you go. So and a bunch of sexy mermaids.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, or whatever you want to put in there. Dip your whole backside, whatever boobs, the whole the whole shit. It all fits. It all fits, yes. Oh my, we weren't really down there. All right, moving on. Okay, moving on. Anyways. So and so that's what they imagined. So instead the fountain sputtered like a dying beast and sprayed my beloved directly in the chest and scorched with with scorching cocoa. Oh no man. Well yeah, she shrieked while I scrambled for a wet rag covered in sticky footprints and shame. Okay. This is looking less mansion-y.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:The kitchen looked less like romance and more like a crime scene in Willy Wonka's factory. Oh my god. Forever cursed by Coco. Sebastian.
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, first of all, the most cliche thing is that his name is Sebastian. Isn't there like a chocolate brand called Sebastian? Or am I making it?
SPEAKER_04:I don't I have no, I don't think so.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, wait. I'm thinking of classical music, Sebastian Bach. Just kidding. That's completely different.
SPEAKER_04:Does Sebastian Bach prefer a giant mansion chocolate fountain in the bedroom? I don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_02:Somehow, like the giant mansion chocolate fountain, some classical music was all in this story for the bigger.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, they were probably playing his music in the background.
SPEAKER_02:It all ties together.
SPEAKER_04:It all It all blends together. I love it. I'm just thinking he's like, why am I thinking just some creepy dude who's like a murderer who's like invite- Come over to my mansion? And there's like a giant human-sized chocolate fountain. And he's ripped.
SPEAKER_02:He's ripped wearing a mask.
SPEAKER_04:Oh no. And there's classical music playing. Yeah, and he packs into a corner. And there's like jars of pickles, and then there's and there's fruit everywhere. Fruit everywhere.
SPEAKER_02:Everywhere.
SPEAKER_04:And then there's a human sushi.
SPEAKER_02:What have we done?
SPEAKER_04:Oh no.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:How much are tickets? Perfect.
SPEAKER_02:I'm sold. Take my money.
SPEAKER_04:Right? Where do I where do I go?
SPEAKER_02:That actually is a really good idea now that I'm thinking about it. That would be a crazy party. Okay. I'll DJ.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Perfect. This is perfect. Okay. All right. Irma, you need to be at the human sushi again. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:Next event. Look out, Twin Cities. All right. Yeah, here it comes. All right, here we go. Subject, the hot chocolate whore. Horror or horror. Okay, just clarifying. Not the hot chocolate whore. Oh, okay. I mean, I'd be a hot chocolate whore, but yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:Delicious.
SPEAKER_04:Either way. Hey, kings and cocktails. So last Christmas, my partner and I decided to get a little festive in the bedroom. We had the lights twinkling. Mariah Carey blasting. Don't judge me. We just had a Christmas station on and couldn't get up to change it.
SPEAKER_02:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:Couldn't get up to change it. Okay, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a little double entendre there? Mm-hmm. Ooh.
SPEAKER_04:So sorry to pause here, but it reminds me of one of my own personal stories, real quick. Side note here. Same thing happened to me once.
SPEAKER_02:We digress. I love it.
SPEAKER_04:Back in high school, I was uh getting busy with a boyfriend. And uh the music, the radio was on. It was a long time ago. I'm not gonna age myself, but it was a long time ago. So it's just the radio. So there was like no like remotes. There was no, you know. And so we were getting busy, and guess what song came on the radio that we we couldn't get up to change because we were too busy. Macy Gray. Try to say goodbye and I choke. Try to walk away and I stumble. Uh try to hide it's clear. My will crumbles and you are not near. And it was the most awkward. We're like, do we stop? Do we let's just smile at each other and close our eyes. Do we laugh and then that's gonna totally ruin the mood? Or do we get up and that's gonna ruin the mood too?
SPEAKER_02:Or do we just get through it for the next singing? That's what I would have done. Shit just keep going, sing it through. Let's go. It's Macy Gray.
SPEAKER_04:Can't get up because that, you know, we're both getting there. Yeah. It's like, what do we do? So Macy Gray. So now I I can never listen to the song the same. Every time it comes on, I'm like, oh God.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, now every time it's like it comes on, I'm gonna think about you in that story. Thanks, Kaylee.
SPEAKER_04:You're welcome. Try to say goodbye. Okay, nobody needs to hear me sing anymore. All right. Let's get back to the story. So last Christmas, my partner and I decided to get a little festive in the bedroom with the lights twinkling, Mariah Carrie Blasting. So, spiked hot chocolate on the end table next to us. Somewhere between All I Want for Christmas and our second mug of hot chocolate, I got the brilliant idea. Let's pour some hot chocolate on each other. In my head, it was going to be counterintuitive.
SPEAKER_02:I know.
SPEAKER_04:In my head, it was going to be cozy, messy, sexy, like a holiday rom-com, but naked. Oh, honey. But I didn't think about was the temperature. It had been sitting on the table for about 30 minutes, so I assumed it was cooled down. Oh my god, never assume. Because guess what that does?
SPEAKER_03:Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04:That cocoa was still piping hot. The first splash hit my chest, and I went from ho ho ho to oh no, no, no, real quick. Burn city. My skin was burnt red, sticky, and the bed was a lost cause. Hot cocoa everywhere. And our dog came running in to lick it up in the messy bed and get very every last marshmallow she could off the sheet.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, goodness gracious. This sounds like something on a Christmas vacation. Oh, I was gonna say the same thing.
SPEAKER_04:At one point, a mini marshmallow or two or three stuck itself like glued to my thigh. And the smell That's the best. And the smell, imagine sex in a Swiss mist factory. The true low point. Actually, that sounds kind of nice. It does sound nice. Yeah. It's very nice, actually. I'd bite. The true low point. His mom dropped by the next day to bring us Christmas cookies. We weren't expecting her. And we were in the guest bedroom where it all happened, trying to get the rest of the stains out of the carpet. She sat on the bed to chat for a minute and literally said, Wow, smells like hot chocolate in here. We just nodded and prayed she wouldn't notice the chocolate stains on the comforter. Thanks to the cookies, mom. Needless to say, holiday food play is off the menu this year. We'll stick to spiking the drinks and leaving the cocoa in the mugs. Santa's sticky helper.
SPEAKER_02:Santa's sticky helper. Oh boy. Adorable.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, I think that would smell good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I know. If anything. Sex in a Swissmas factory? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe not in the factory, but like, you know, when the office is in the building.
SPEAKER_04:No, in the factory. In the in the in the Willy Wonka fountains. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:That's different. That's way better.
SPEAKER_04:We need the golden ticket to the Willy Wonka chocolate factory right now.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, absolutely. I've got a golden ticket.
SPEAKER_04:There's so many opportunities in that factory. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02:I know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I want an after hours golden ticket.
SPEAKER_02:The candies that made them float up in the air. Yes. You know, like weightless, weightless banging this.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Willy Wonka, where are you? You need an after hours. Your turn.
SPEAKER_02:All right. So I think actually, let's see. We did I did six stories.
SPEAKER_04:Are you all done?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_04:I have one last one.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, you got one last one? Perfect. Yeah. I was like, oh shoot. I had one, I thought I had one more.
SPEAKER_04:No worries.
SPEAKER_02:Go nuts.
SPEAKER_04:Alright. So I did in the search bar in our emails for the the search word birthday, just for you, Eve.
unknown:Oh.
SPEAKER_04:To see if we had any birthday themed ones. Surprise, surprise, you to share. And I did find a couple. I picked out one specifically that was pretty funny.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, great.
SPEAKER_04:All right, you ready?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Alright. Hi everyone in the KC crew. So it was my birthday, and my partner had this big sexy plan. Body shots. They even bought fancy tequila, salt, limes to make it feel like a celebration. All of it was super expensive. I thought this is gonna be hot as hell. The setup, classic. Salt on my skin, a wedge of lime between my lips, tequila poured where it counts. They leaned in, poured the shot down my stomach, and started to follow it with their mouth. Cute, right? Except I had shaved earlier that day. And when that tequila hit that little cuts that I didn't even realize were there, you know where.
SPEAKER_02:Burning sensation.
SPEAKER_04:It was like setting my skin on fire. I screamed. Reflex kicked in, and so did my foot. I kicked out so hard I nailed my poor partner square in the nose. Oh. Immediate crunch noise. Their head snapped back, they dropped the shot glass, R.I.P. tequila and shot glass, and suddenly there's blood gushing everywhere. Oh no. At first we thought it was just a little nosebleed, but then I noticed their nose looked crooked. Like Picasso painting crooked.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:Meanwhile, the bed was soaked between spilled tequila, salt stuck to me, and there's blood everywhere. They made a crime scene. Yeah. It looked like there was the world's weirdest crime scene at the next sentence.
unknown:Nailed it.
SPEAKER_04:So we're both naked, panicking, trying to figure out what to do. They're holding a towel to their face. I'm running around the rib sticky with booze and salt, and somehow we ended up slipping on a lime ledge and falling on the floor. Both of us hit the ground like drunk penguins.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my.
SPEAKER_04:So what do we do? We throw on the first clothes we could mine. I'm an oversized hoodie. They're holding their face with one hand and wearing no pants. And we drive to the ER, both just in oversized t-shirts and hoodies. The nurse asks, What happened? And we're both trying so hard not to say, birthday body shots gone wrong. We ended up telling her it was an accident with a glass. It was an accident with a glass. Not technically a lie, right?
SPEAKER_02:I mean, they should have just said the first line as well. Right. Come on.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, what they've heard it all. Just tell them what happened. Turns out they had a fractured nose on my birthday. We spent the night in the emergency room with me smelling like a walking margarita and them stuffed with gauze up their nose. So yeah, instead of a hot birthday sex night, I gave my partner a broken nose. We laugh about it now, but at the time it was horrifying that the most memorable gift I gave them was facial reconstruction. Thanks for the laughs you give us. We listened on our long oh, we listened to our long camping trips with Love Anonymous. Wow.
SPEAKER_02:Wow.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I hope that didn't happen. That did not happen on your birthday.
SPEAKER_02:No, absolutely not. No. I have funny stories about my birthday and absolute what did happen, but it's not food related.
SPEAKER_04:Up to you. Well leave the stage open if you want.
SPEAKER_02:Perfect. Well. Nah, you know, well, whatever. We've already gone too far. It's fine. Okay. So, anyways, as I mentioned, I had a few glasses of wine with the No. Yes, I know it was my birthday. Um, 45. Yeah. Congratulations. Looking good for 45, you know. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh yeah. So uh so, anyways, get home and uh proceed to try and go to sleep in the bed the wrong way with my head at the foot of the table. I mean foot of the bed, not table. And also wanted Mike there, and he just was like, I can't get under the covers. No idea, no idea. So anyways, I remember all of the evening except for going to bed. And so the next morning, I'm like, Babe, babe, did we have sex last night?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Next morning question.
SPEAKER_02:It's like no. You looked at me and said, I'm too drunk for sex. We'll have it in the morning. It's fine. So, anyways, we did it in the middle of the night because we both woke up to go pee at the same time. So there you go. It's a pretty vanilla story, but that's better than my story.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. That's okay. I wish I would have just had that story. Where do mine? So a few weeks ago, I did have another seizure.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no. Yeah. Ended up in the hospital again. So sorry, you're dealing with that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. It's okay. Doctors think they have my meds figured out now and everything figured out. So everything's good. Everything's getting better. Hey, okay. No worries. Hopefully from here on out.
SPEAKER_02:Um that's good to hear.
SPEAKER_04:But the second time that happened, Danny and I were uh getting busy.
SPEAKER_02:Oh no.
SPEAKER_04:And that's when the seizure happened.
unknown:Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04:Everything's fine. Everything's fine.
SPEAKER_02:So so Danny is so good in bed. He gives you seizures.
SPEAKER_04:I was like, I was like, Danny, you know what? Now we can now we can say that, like, you know what?
SPEAKER_02:Props you.
unknown:Danny.
SPEAKER_02:It's his fault.
SPEAKER_04:Right?
SPEAKER_02:What a badass. There's always a silver lining to everything. I know. That's a good one to have.
SPEAKER_04:Now that now the doctors have me figured out and everything's okay. Now we can say, my husband gives me seizures.
unknown:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Now you can. Yes, you can. You should get that on a t-shirt. My husband gives me seizures. In bed. Because he's so good in bed.
SPEAKER_04:TM, TM, TM. Sorry, Danny, I know if you want me to share that or not. But now that I know everything say okay medically, I think I can.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think that's a great story. That is a great story. Danny should wear that like a badge of badge of bag. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That's awesome. I don't even know where to go with that.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that being said, thank you, Eve, so much.
SPEAKER_02:Absolutely. This has been so much fun. This is great.
SPEAKER_04:I loved it. This is a blast.
SPEAKER_02:Hopefully, we can do pickle bonus episodes.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. So anybody that wants to send anything in pickle themed or any other just fun theme you can think of, we'll take anything. We'll I go through my subject search bar in the emails from kinksandcocktails.com if you fill in the anonymous form. And if you want to rename anonymous, we will. If not, leave her a name. Um, and so if we come up with a theme for the next episode and you put that in the subject bar, Amoeba will read it. Yeah. So yeah, join us on Patreon at kinkscocktails.com. Um we're on all social media, same handle. Please rate us five stars. It helps us out so so so so much.
SPEAKER_02:And Katie is five stars. She deserves it.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, so are you, Eve? Thank you. Yay. We're gonna take a shot after this because we deserve it.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, and we're also drinking vodka and water.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. Our go-to drink.
SPEAKER_02:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:So glad somebody else has the same drink taste as I do. Literally. Well, clink and drink to that. Yes, clink and drink. Absolutely. All right. Well, I think that's it. Thank you, Eve. Bye, everyone.
unknown:Bye.
