Episode 28 • The Red Light District

Come wander Amsterdam’s legendary Red Light District with us—where the lights are red, the history is wild, and the stories are even wilder. We share our hilarious firsthand adventures, the surprising history of De Wallen, and the best things to do (and not do) in this iconic Amsterdam hotspot. Plus, a few hidden secrets you definitely won’t find on a travel brochure. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

This is Kinks and Cocktails, a podcast where we explore all things kink and all things drink. Kinks and Cocktails contains explicit content. Listener discretion is advised.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

Hey Eve.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Hey Katie.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

I got a question for you.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Ooh, I like questions.

SPEAKER_04 0:24

Do you want to go to a trip with me?

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Oh, what kind of trip are we talking about?

SPEAKER_04 0:28

To Amsterdam.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Well, fun fact, I uh just got back from there.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

You did. Woo! So that's what we're talking about today. Yeah. The red light district.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Super exciting to talk about that today.

SPEAKER_04 0:43

You did not go to.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

No, I didn't. You know, I just I'll be back there next year. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Yeah. We we did have every intention of going every single day. We're like, okay, tonight's the night. Tonight's the night.

SPEAKER_04 0:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

And then it just didn't happen.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

Now you just gotta go back. Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Now it gives me a reason to go back.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

Yeah. I mean, I got I'll go with you. I haven't been there in 10 years.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Oh, perfect. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

And fun fact to all of our listeners, well, you already know this, Eve, but last time I was there, Danny and I were there with your now boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

I knew Oddly enough. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

So I did go to the red light district with your boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Oh, well, okay. Now I'm pissed. I didn't know that part of the story. He was a good boy, don't worry. You guys weren't together.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

It doesn't matter anyway.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

No, it doesn't. I I he did tell me about it, but he left out that you guys were there. But I'm sure everybody was there with you as a part of the story. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:38

Yeah. Lots of people. More people you know as well. All right.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:42

So yeah. How was your Halloween? How have you been?

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Oh man, Halloween was a blast.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

It was. Yeah, it was really wild weekend.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, you know, we we had the Blood Rave. Which I ended up at. Yes. It was so fun. So much fun. I mean, that was that was just like it was so cool.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

I love Halloween raves.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Yeah, absolutely. Me too. They're just the best. You know, you always can expect something unexpected.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

Oh, I I had something unexpected happen. Yeah, what was that? So one of my Halloween costumes for the weekend, I won third place in a costume contest. Oh, I didn't know that. Out of like a thousand people. What? Yeah. I was uh, you know the show from childhood, my big comfy couch.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 2:27

Uh I was Lunette the Clown. Oh, okay. But a sexy one, of course.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Yeah, I've actually never seen that show, just know of it. Really? But okay.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

Apparently, a lot of people have seen it. It's like a fever dream of a show of a show. Like it's weird.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Okay, okay, okay, got it.

SPEAKER_04 2:41

So I yeah, won that. And then the other costume I had for a different party, I was a Furby.

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Okay, yes. That was fun. Awesome. Did you dress up at all? Or well, so you know, I had a friend's uh Halloween wedding that I was actually. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, and it was, you know, it was my style of music. I didn't change from what I normally do, but I had to be fortunately it was Halloween because I had to find an outfit that fit for that and for later. Yeah. So I was wearing like leather pants with black stompy boots, but like No, you looked hot that night.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

You looked good. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

So it fit for both of both of the events.

SPEAKER_04 3:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Um all right.

SPEAKER_04 3:19

Well, should we do our drink pairing?

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Yes. I'm excited for this.

SPEAKER_04 3:25

So we got some Heineken because everybody drinks Heineken.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

So absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

Well clink to that. Yep. Clink clink. Oh, that was a really quiet clink. Sorry, everyone. And also And also we got uh I'm gonna say this wrong. I say it wrong all the time. You go ahead and say Absinthe. Absinthe. But you but you should try to Absinthe. I always did it. Okay. But after a couple sips of absinthe, I end up saying absinthe.

unknown 3:54

Abs.

SPEAKER_04 3:56

The TH it then becomes absent.

SPEAKER_02 3:59

And Exactly. If you drink enough absinthe, you're absent.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

Exactly. It works. Yeah, it works.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

It works for sure.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

So we got a sugar cube here. We're gonna put it on top of the it's like a slotted spoon.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:13

All right, traditional method. Open up the absinthe here while I can still somewhat say it.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

And you're supposed to traditionally pour it over the sugar cube. Yeah. It's very green.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_04 4:25

It's pretty. I like it.

SPEAKER_02 4:28

It it smells really nice. It does. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

Very good smell to it.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

All right. And then we're supposed to pour water over it. The sugar cube's not really melting as much as I want it to.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:42

I think when you get it done done like professionally, like at a bar.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Yeah, and they've got like the real deal.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

Yeah. Well, now it seems to be going going down a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

Well, you know, oh, you know what? The sugar cubes have been in my refrigerator.

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:55

So they're cold.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

So they're not gonna not as not as uh not as melty.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Yeah, I guess. We'll slip on our Heineken for a second and let that melt. We did not get a snack pairing for this.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

I yeah, because I failed my You had one job. I had one job. Bring back some snacks from Amsterdam. Oopsies. It's okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

I even looked through my candy collection because I collect like novelty candy. Yeah. I was like, maybe because I have some foreign candy. I'm like, maybe there's something in here from Europe or something. Nope, I couldn't find anything.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Well, you did have that, you know, like little pop uh penis popsicle.

SPEAKER_04 5:31

Oh yeah, that's right. I do have that. Okay, that'll be our that'll be our snack pairing. I have a it's a pussy-shaped lollipop and a a rainbow, uh tiny penis ring pop. Perfect.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Yeah, and honestly, as I'm looking around and walking through the, you know, alleys and whatnot, there were multiple stores where you could buy that stuff. They were. It's a thing there for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And one random ducky store. A duck, like a rubber duck store? Yeah. Yeah. Cute. Thousands of rubber duckies. That's all they sold. Cute. All right.

SPEAKER_04 6:10

Should we try this app absinthe? Yeah, let's do it. Okay, we're gonna take the spoon off. You go first. Okay, perfect. Oh wait, you know what? Let's just drop the sugar cube right in there. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. There we go. Yeah. Oh, just lick my fingers. Very good.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Yeah. All right, I'll take a second. Yeah, do it again. I will.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

Oh, Eve. Do you like watching me lick my fingers?

SPEAKER_02 6:38

I mean, yeah, when in Rome.

SPEAKER_04 6:42

You almost made me spit out my drink.

unknown 6:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:46

Very good.

SPEAKER_02 6:47

Very good.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

It tastes like a black jelly bean.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

Which I love.

SPEAKER_02 6:52

And you know, as green as it is, you think it's gonna taste completely different.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

Right. It's like a neon green. It is.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

It looks kind of radioactive and it absolutely does look radioactive. I mean, you'd think it was if you didn't know any better.

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Right.

SPEAKER_02 7:07

For sure.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Well, we also got like the cheapest bottle they had, so it's probably like a bunch of green dye.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

Yeah. Probably is radioactive actually then.

SPEAKER_04 7:16

We'll see what happens. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:17

Maybe we'll develop kinky superpowers. Ooh, I like this. I'm gonna have some more. Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, let's just finish that up. Kinky superpowers. It's a zipper. I zip it. Kinky superpowers. I think that might be an episode.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

That'd be great. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. Some like kinky villains. Yeah. Ooh.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

I can I have the power of sultry voice.

SPEAKER_04 7:45

You do. I don't know what my power would be. I don't know if our listeners know this, but I'm actually kind of pretty vanilla in real life.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

I know.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

But then again, maybe things that I'm empty, I think are vanilla. Yeah. I'm so used to everything.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

So yeah. I don't know. I mean it's like it's hard to tell. Like anal's vanilla.

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Right. I yeah, I consider anal vanilla. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

But other people probably don't. Right.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

All right. Well, that was delicious.

SPEAKER_04 8:21

Yeah. Should we uh Yeah, should we get going? Let's do history first instead of fun facts. Because I think I have some fun facts that are like about history a little bit. And I don't want to say things again that you're already going to cover. So take it away.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Well, you know, I think uh you know, most people probably know about the history of most places that are like this, where you know you have new bus bustling cities, especially around ports. So Amsterdam is really no different. So the red light district started as a hangout for sailors fresh off the ships.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

So um, you know, they'd be tired, drunk potentially, probably drunken sailor to go, right? And ready to quote unquote make some bad decisions.

SPEAKER_04 9:05

Uh-huh. They they just got off work, landed on land.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

Yeah. So you know, in the in the 12 to 1500s was really as uh as the red light district started to grow. So prostitution was tolerated as a quote unquote necessary evil.

SPEAKER_04 9:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

To uh to essentially keep the sailors in uh in line. Okay, not have too much too much angst built up if you so they weren't fighting each other on the boats.

SPEAKER_04 9:30

Exactly. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Exactly. So during that time, the church quietly looked the other way.

SPEAKER_04 9:37

As they usually do for most things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Yeah, it gets more interesting uh later because uh or it gets more interesting because some of these brothels and oftentimes would be uh would be well later in in the timeline would be renamed as as seamstress places. So seamstress but anyway, some of the brothels were actually run by priests and owned by local churches.

SPEAKER_04 10:02

Why am I not surprised?

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, so imagine, you know, nowadays you're going to confession with your boss after or and then about to have a night of sin. You know, so talk about mixed messages.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Right.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Right.

SPEAKER_04 10:19

Or just like Sunday, hey, hey priest, I went to your spot last night. Yeah. Forgive my sins.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Yeah, I know, right? So yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_04 10:32

I have a tickle in my throat today, so yeah, no problem.

SPEAKER_02 10:34

So yeah, that was a really common practice back then. So then the 1600s were really hitting the golden age of the uh the red light district. So ad Amsterdam at this time was becoming much of a booming uh spot for global trade, art, you know, other kinds of commerce. So the district started the what we now know uh the red lights mean. So they started hanging red lanterns as sailors searched for little company before heading back to sea.

SPEAKER_04 11:00

Just so they know where to go.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Yeah, exactly. So hence the red light district was coined.

SPEAKER_04 11:07

Okay, could I interrupt real quick?

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:09

So the red lights reminds me of, do you remember in like in like the 60s, 70s, during like a huge swinger era?

SPEAKER_03 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:18

If you see the red light bulbs outside of somebody's house, they were having a swinger party. I don't know if that's true or not.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:24

But that who has it, I've heard that.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Yeah, that is actually true. So red lights. Yeah. So it's it's symbol for yeah, hey, we're swingers.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

So sometimes people party's over here.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Yeah, parties over here. And I think actually sometimes people will actually just put a red light constantly so that you know. Yeah. It's kind of like if you know, you know. Right. You know, type of thing. So I've never gone knocking on one of those doors to find out.

SPEAKER_04 11:48

How does that how does that happen?

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Do you just knock on their door like, hey, hey, are you guys swingers?

SPEAKER_04 11:52

I'm here for the party.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

You know, I think we should do that as an experiment.

SPEAKER_04 11:56

Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Should I put a red light on my house and see what happens?

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Nowadays, okay. Nowadays, if somebody puts a red light bulb on their house, it's more for like to tell the Door Dasher, like it's the one with the red light.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:08

Just to make it easy.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Oh, okay, good. That's what I'm gonna tell people I did it for.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

Yeah, DoorDash.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Yes, it's for DoorDash, so they know. Yes. All right, cool.

SPEAKER_04 12:16

Let's go on. Adding red light bulbs to Amazon. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Yeah. So, um, so yeah. So let's see. So we move into obviously later times, so more in the 19th century, like 1800s. So there was a lot of moral reform, criminal, uh, you know, and criminalization of certain things like this, you know, in history. So the city tried to clean up its act along with other parts of the world. Yeah. So brothels were actually banned. But the oldest profession didn't exactly hand in its resignation, as you obviously can tell.

SPEAKER_04 12:49

It's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

No matter what, it's gonna happen, right?

SPEAKER_04 12:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

So so women started working in secret and they called themselves seamstresses. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So they would do things like hang uh hang certain tapestries or things they'd sewn in their windows to as a as a way to give an indication like, hey, this is where you can go for seamstress.

SPEAKER_04 13:12

Love hate this. Yeah. Because they had to choose seamstress, probably because that was one of the only jobs women could do back then.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Exactly. Exactly. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's is it's yeah, love and love-hate relationship with that five. Yes, exactly. So uh, so uh a fun fact about that on that note, the quote unquote moral reformers who pushed too close uh to close the brothels were scandalized to learn or scandalized to learn that after the ban, prox prostitution didn't stop. It just got a lot more creative. Surprising. Yeah. So um, so sometimes they would use these tapestries as camouflage in their windows. Okay, you know, you because you've been to the red light districts. Yeah, so they would use that. Um, and I mentioned they would hang certain things, but they would use them actually as camouflage, and they they were sometimes have like little things where you could drop it down and like just in case oh just in case somebody was coming. Yeah, so all kinds of creative ways to hide the fact that they were a brothel.

SPEAKER_04 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

Yeah, yeah. So uh so as we move into more modern times, so during World War II, the red light district actually went dark under the Nazi occupation.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Which sad times.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

Yeah, yeah, sad times.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

But again, it didn't disappear, just went underground. Literally, though. So after the war, the neon glow came back brighter than ever. So they went underground.

SPEAKER_04 14:37

So the lights had to go away.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Yeah, lights went under uh went away. But then uh and I actually noticed this in one of the places that I went to. We went to a pizza shop. Okay, and Mike and I were actually sitting at um at the counter just waiting for our food, and somebody just popped up out of the ground from a hole. Wait, what the hell did he come from? Yeah. And so when I was looking this up, I'm like, okay, so underground, they literally went underneath and had like places to hide. And we're so we actually witnessed one of these old things that still had the hole in place, and now it's a pizza shop. So just popped up to say hello. Yeah. Mike's like, where did that guy come from? I was like, I have no earthly idea.

SPEAKER_04 15:20

Just a typical Tuesday. Typical Tuesday just pops out of the ground. So now that you mentioned that and I think about my trip there, um, I do remember now a lot of like restaurants and cafes that we went to, you first walk in and instantly you go downstairs. The entire place was downstairs.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

Exactly. Yeah, tons of places like that.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

I didn't know this about like the history of that. But now that I remember from my trip, a lot of places were downstairs. Yeah. Underground.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

Underground, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

Oh, okay. That's cool.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

My favorite place was the place that had the bathrooms downstairs. So you can imagine how that smelled.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

Oh god. Hey, we've been to plenty uh brave bathrooms. It's it's yeah, I was like, it's like worse.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

It's okay. Um, yeah, so so uh so legalization and modernization of it. So that's obviously happening in the very recent, uh, recent history. So the Netherlands leaned into a more tolerant reputation, right? So by the 2000s, sex work was officially legal and workers could finally pay taxes just like everybody else. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about that part, but you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 16:28

So it also protects them in a way.

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 16:31

Yeah, but so it it's I get what you're saying though.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like let's just, you know, maybe they just then they're like the church, they don't have to pay taxes.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

Oh, yeah, right? No kidding. All right, I take that.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

So yes, exactly. They can actually register with the Chamber of Commerce and they list their job as intimate entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_04 16:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:54

You know, I think we should add that to our resume.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Absolutely kinks and cocktails, yeah. Yeah, we are not podcasters.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

We're intimate entrepreneurs.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

Oh, the way you said that, Eve. Yeah. Love your sultry voice. Oh my gosh, yes. It's back.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

It's back. So uh man. Could you imagine though? If we put that and what we would need to tell, you know, our.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

If somebody asks, what do you do for work? Yeah, I'm an intimate entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

You know what? I'm I love it. I'm in. I'm gonna start using it tonight. Yes. I'm gonna start using it tonight.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

I don't like saying I'm a podcaster. It just sounds so like everybody's like, okay, sure. Like, no, but for real.

SPEAKER_02 17:30

Actually, we should start our next one by hey, welcome to Kinks and Cocktails. The intrapreneur.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

The absent is kicking in.

SPEAKER_02 17:39

The intimate entrepreneurs. Yes. Or whatever. Love it. Oh, with your two favorite intimate entrepreneurs. Yeah. All right. So uh let's see. So now uh, you know, in the very recent history, like in the last couple of years or so, uh, there's even things like a uh an they're even thinking of doing things like moving the red light district, which has actually been a big point of contention and there was actually riots around this. They're thinking, okay, hey, we should move all of this out to quote unquote an erotic center. And part of this is because uh because what they they started to try to push more businesses or other things into the area in particular fashion. So one thing uh one thing that that spurred a lot of the um the riots was replacing the models in the windows with mannequins.

SPEAKER_04 18:35

With mannequins?

SPEAKER_02 18:36

With mannequins, yes.

SPEAKER_04 18:37

What?

SPEAKER_02 18:37

And start and so the whole movement was called from lace to leather and has not gone over well what.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

I thought not okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

I Okay, so they wanted to like promote fashion stores Yeah, because they think okay, well that's it's it's almost like the Citrus thing.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Okay, but but that that was different. This is like okay, uh sex workers already get stomped on for like and get pushed aside. Come on. This is a place where they can actually be free and do their thing.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

Do their thing, yeah, and to each their own.

SPEAKER_04 19:10

Like well, yeah, and I love yeah, but like businesses do not need to no.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

No.

SPEAKER_04 19:15

This is like if I'd be walking along the beautiful cobblestone streets of Amsterdam in the red light district, just adoring all these beautiful, amazing workers.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

Just walking along, and then all of a sudden I see a mannequin. Right. I don't need that's like watching a movie and having to watch like watch a 15-second advertisement.

SPEAKER_02 19:36

Yes, exactly. Stop it. Get out of here.

SPEAKER_04 19:39

No, we don't need businesses taking over their game.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

Yeah. Get out of here. Yeah, I don't like it. So fortunately, the backlash from that was so fierce that they shut it down, right? But it's still it's still a point of contention as to okay, should we move this, should we not? Whatever. It's like I Where do they want to move it to?

SPEAKER_04 19:59

An island? Like what are you gonna move it to?

SPEAKER_02 20:02

It's still gonna be attached to your city and keep it there. And and there's actually two red light districts too. There's a smaller one and a bigger one. So what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_04 20:09

You're gonna Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I I wonder which one I went to then.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

I know. I didn't have there were two either. So I think there's a more the older one and then some newer version. Okay. Mike was telling me about this.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

Oh, I was there 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

So who knows? Yeah. Just you know what? We'll just create a path in between them. And yeah, a tunnel. Yeah, a tunnel.

SPEAKER_04 20:27

There probably already is.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

Yeah, that's that's actually probably not too far from the truth. So yeah, so so that's where we're at today. You know, it's uh it's still alive and very much bustling, you know. A little bit of can, you know, scandal around it and that sort of thing. But that's that's essentially your your cliff notes history of the red light district.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Thank you for that, Eve. I'm gonna take a sip to that. That was awesome. Yeah, you do a good history lesson.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

And you know what? I was not I did not like history class growing up.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:00

Now I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

I have I have I have a degree in history.

SPEAKER_04 21:04

Oh, do you really?

SPEAKER_02 21:05

I really do.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

Oh, I'm so glad doing this podcast, I hate doing history. Oh and so I always love when co-hosts like they're like, Yeah, I'll do history. I'm like, thank God. But I love hearing about it. I just I love hearing about it.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

So I love especially from your sultry voice.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

I know. I would have got an A in your class.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Should we do a history kink?

SPEAKER_04 21:24

Oh I don't know, I don't know if I can do that. Oh, not into it.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

I'll just wear I'll come dress like a teacher.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Yeah. Okay, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Now we're talking about I'll wear a black pencil skirt.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

There we go. There it is. Love it. Give me a lesson, all right. Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Are you into history now?

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Now I am. Suddenly.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:46

I'll get an A in your class.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:50

Okay. Should we move on to some fun facts?

SPEAKER_02 21:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:54

Yeah, take a sip of the absinthe. I can still say it right. Kinda.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

We should um we should actually have an absinthe called absinthe.

SPEAKER_04 22:05

Yeah. Yeah. TM, TM, TM.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yeah, TM, TM, TM.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

Okay. Fun facts. So we talked about the red lights.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

And one reason why they're red. So in the windows for the workers, there's another reason why they're red lights. Do you know why?

SPEAKER_02 22:22

No, I don't, but I'm intrigued already the way you said that.

SPEAKER_04 22:25

Have you ever seen your scanning yourself in a red lighted room?

unknown 22:28

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:29

Don't you just look better? It hides all of your blemishes. It hides any scars or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:36

And so well, also back in the day. It also hid uh symptoms of diseases like syphilis.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Oh, yeah, that tracks. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It just hid everything.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

So it made you look more appealing.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Yeah. Bringing you that natural red glow.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

Yeah. Right. So also we talked about the sailors and the church. Excuse me, I have such a tickle in my throat today. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

It's because of the red light district.

SPEAKER_04 23:07

Right. Give me a tickle in the throat. Okay. So the church. They would always attend the church on Sundays to forgive their sins that they did over the weekend in the red light district.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

With the priest that was running their brothel.

SPEAKER_04 23:22

Yep. Yep. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 23:26

So there's also a statue for sex workers in the I'm going to butcher this and I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm going to try my best. Outer Kirksplain Square? I probably said that totally wrong.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Could have been completely right for all I know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

I should have looked up how to say it. Okay. So yeah. It's a bronze statue uh named Bella. And she's a tribute to sex workers worldwide.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

And the plaque reads, respect sex workers all over the world.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Yeah, I think I remember hearing about that now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah. I mean, it's like. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 24:05

So we talked about the red lights in the windows, but there's also now blue lights. And the blue blue lights mean that there are that worker is a transgender person.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 24:16

So that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, uh, yeah, that's that's great. I mean, it's like I love that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, absolutely. So I mean red and blue.

SPEAKER_04 24:29

Let's do it. So they also have the world's first condom store. That's all they sell in a condom.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

I mean, like makes sense. Makes sense. All right.

SPEAKER_04 24:42

Okay, so from what I read and saw, it's also kind of like a it's kind of like a Spencer's, like a novelty funny, like so. They have every condom you can imagine, like every color, every shape, and any size you can imagine. They have like big, like giant one foot, two foot ones, like just for a funny because yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How long did you say it's a reading? One foot, two foot, long condoms. Oh my god. It's like a Spencer's, but a condom shop. So they have every color you can imagine, every shape, every size, and they have like cartoon character ones, animal ones, like anything. It's just kind of a funny thing. Yeah. And you can buy real actual condoms there too, of course. But it's also like a novelty thing, too.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

For your, yeah, for your two-foot dick.

SPEAKER_04 25:29

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Wow. I yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:33

I think if uh for the guy that's always lying out there, he can uh you know.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

I have a side note story after you're done about that topic. But anyways, we can move on. Maybe we'll save that for another episode.

SPEAKER_04 25:49

If it's about condoms, this is my last fun fact.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

So it is it isn't about condoms.

SPEAKER_04 25:54

There's bubble gum flavor.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:56

I looked on the website. There's bubble gum flavor, um, cannabis flavor. Um, they even sell like condom figurines that you can collect.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Condom figurines. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:07

And for some reason, every single brand that they carried had Coca-Cola flavor. There's a lot of Coca-Cola flavor, and I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Coca-Cola, everybody was drinking Coke Zero everywhere. In Amsterdam? In Amsterdam.

SPEAKER_04 26:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

I mean, they had Coke, Zero, Sprite, all of that, but everybody was drinking either regular Coke or Coke Zero. Nothing in the middle. I don't drink sodas because I don't either. It's spicy. They're too spicy on my list.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

It's too sugar. I think of it as carbonated syrup, and I'm just not into it.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Totally. But yeah. So I just everywhere you turn, somebody had one in their hand. So it doesn't surprise me that they had Coca-Cola flavored condoms in this store.

SPEAKER_04 26:50

Looking at the website, I'm like, why is there so much Coca-Cola?

SPEAKER_03 26:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:54

Okay. You can they also on the website, it was so funny. You they also have guides like how to measure yourself to know what size to get. And like it was a great on their website? Yeah, they have a whole website where you can like and it was so funny. Because I was trying to play around with like the it was like a chart, you know? Yeah. Pull down menus. And I was like, just playing around with it to see what it would give me what size. And I would try to do the smallest one. I'm not, if you got a small penis, I'm not making fun of you. All the power to you. No, I'm interested in this. I did this for science. Yes. And it said I did the smallest ones, like for measurements. Yeah. And then the my results were uh we do not carry that. You're like there was nothing. I know. And I was like, but you're the condom star. Are you serious? That sucks. Why do you even have that option on the chart?

SPEAKER_02 27:46

Yeah. Oh, you know, I wonder if you go to the biggest, it probably does the same thing. Well, no, if it got two foot. No, that's probably interesting.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

Oh, it was stupid. It was it was just interesting. I don't know. I did it for science.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Yeah. And so hey, here's a here's a if you do have, if you're not as well endowed, don't worry, guess what? There's small vaginas out there too. True. Yeah. True. And big ones. And big ones.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

Which some ladies are embarrassed about. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Guess what?

SPEAKER_04 28:12

Oh my God. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Everybody comes in all sapes, shapes, and sizes.

SPEAKER_04 28:15

So you know what? I heard today.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:18

And I I can say this because he said it on his uh stand-up comedy. So I heard it on the radio on the way here to record, actually. Um and it was the guy who played Chow in the hangover.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

It was his stand-up. So I can say this because he said it to the public. Okay. He said and said, you know what? I do have a small dick. Yeah. And that scene in the hangover where I jump out of the trunk, that was real. That's my dick. And I don't care. And he's like, he's like with this hangover money, I don't care. So I'm my small dick. Yeah. He's like, oh my God. You know what? It's not the size of the pencil. I can write cursive. I can write calligraphy. I can like, okay, yes. Exactly. Yeah, absolutely. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Don't be ashamed. Everybody has something. Some ev everybody works for something. Everybody does.

SPEAKER_04 29:11

I love it when when guys at small penises are like proud of it.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

I'm like, yeah, get it, dude.

SPEAKER_04 29:16

I love your confidence. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I don't want to be cut in half. I had sword size whatever.

SPEAKER_04 29:23

Guess what? No. We don't want a 12-inch penis.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

We do not. No, no. No thanks. And guess what? They're sad about it too. They're probably more sad than the guy that has a smaller size. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:33

So all right. Well, that's that's fun facts. Literally.

SPEAKER_03 29:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:40

All right. Should we uh move on to the next one here? Yeah, yeah. So those are fun, and I hate to flip the switch here, but we do have to go over some dark things.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

The dark side, yeah. Sorry, everyone. I know. Well, I mean, it is the red light district, and if you weren't expecting that, then here's your wake up call.

SPEAKER_04 30:00

Gotta talk about it. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Alright. First up, human trafficking. So while most of the girls there are independent contractors, it definitely happens in a place like that. It's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 30:16

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

Um so a lot of them actually are working for pimps, and so a lot of them are victims are they're lured lured there with promises of legitimate work only to arrive and to be told that they owe tens of thousands of dollars to their traffickers for travel, housing, and documentation. Um their earnings are then completely taken to repay this fabricated quote unquote debt.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:45

Sad.

SPEAKER_02 30:45

Yeah, it really is.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

Um there's tons of violence and abuse. Um these sex workers who are victims of trafficking are often subjected to psychological and physical abuse, threats against their families, and sexual assault by their captors and pimps to ensure compliance and prevent escape.

SPEAKER_02 31:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:05

Very sad.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

It is very sad. It's just hard to think that stuff like that happens in the world, but it does.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

Especially in a place where they legalized prostitution there to prevent this from happening. And it definitely helped. It did for sure. But it's still gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:20

But there's also a lot of money laundering. Um, so the window rentals that are totally legal to rent make it an easy way for drug traffickers and others to use it as a way to launder money. So it's because it sits on quite the borderline of legal and not legal. Like it's it's an easy target for the city.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Yeah, easy target. And there's lots of c lots of cash flowing through there, you know, people paying cash. They don't want to you know, they won't don't want the paper trail of, well, I've been in a brothel or anything. Exactly. Right, exactly. So yeah, easy way to launder money.

SPEAKER_04 31:55

Yeah. That's the gist of the dark side. Um that covers a lot of it. It's uh I'm sure there's tons more, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Yeah. I mean, the human trafficking one alone covers such a wide range of dark things.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

Yeah, but we can go down a deep dive in that forever.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Forever. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 32:14

But yeah. All right, should we freshen our palette here?

SPEAKER_02 32:19

Absolutely. Hit on a onto happier notes. Yep, with an absinthe.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

Absent. I'm still saying it right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Let's get absinthe. No. Just kidding. We don't want to do that. Happy sips of the absinthe. That sounds like a good song name.

SPEAKER_04 32:35

Like a one to wonder. Like, like uh, you know those songs that well, you were there that uh in the Netherlands where they like Dutch people love like pounding on tables.

SPEAKER_03 32:48

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:48

And all of Europe.

SPEAKER_03 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:50

And like, like at Oktoberfest, like they have their chants and their songs and their fun, like drinking songs. Yes, absolutely. There should be a song about absinthe, about like getting absinthe on absinthe.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

Oh my gosh, hold on.

SPEAKER_04 33:01

Let's do this. I've always wanted a one-hit wonder. There'd be so much and that's it, only one.

SPEAKER_02 33:06

Just one. That's all you need.

SPEAKER_04 33:08

But a drinking song, one hit wonder would be amazing. Okay. Right up my alley. Absent. Add it to your notes. Let's do it for later. We'll look into this. Wouldn't that be a fun?

SPEAKER_02 33:18

Yep. Uh yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

It would have a worldwide drinking song created by us about absinthe. There isn't one yet. TM, TM, TM. TM.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Our idea.

SPEAKER_04 33:30

Okay. We'll look into that.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

All right. So the next one part here is things to do there.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Yeah, so much.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

But before we do that, let's go over the important rules and etiquette.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

Before you go into things to do there.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Yeah. Good call. All right. Don't want to get in trouble while you're doing your things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:52

Yep. First rule, respect the workers. Treat the sex workers with respect. Simple, but to most not so simple.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

Um, so do not, absolutely not, try to take any pictures or videos of the workers while they're in the windows or anywhere. This is 100% not tolerated at all. Um, so they actually have an entire police team dedicated just to the sex workers.

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:23

So there are Which is amazing. They're on call right there for them, 24-7. And they will stop you and the kid like give you warnings, kick you out, like make you delete the photos. If they see you do this, try to take photos. And the sex workers, they will walk out of their windows. And we saw this happen a lot.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

Um, we'd be walking along and walking along the 200 window stretch, just hanging out, and saw lots of men try to take photos. And we saw many workers walk directly out of their window very angrily, as they should be, yelling at them, would take their phone or make them delete the photo, um, and then walk straight back out to their window.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

Sometimes they would, we didn't see this happen, but sometimes they would even grab their phone and throw it into the canal. Which, hey, hey, sure.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Fuck around and find out.

SPEAKER_04 35:27

Exactly. They even have a saying called snap a pick, take a dip.

unknown 35:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

You're gonna go for a swim looking for your phone, Michael.

SPEAKER_04 35:35

And you know what? The police do not stop them. Go for yep, yeah, they have every right to.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

That uh absolutely. Yeah, you know, uh that's this makes me think of actually something that happened while I was there. Yeah. Not not related to the sex workers, but to how diligent the police are with that sort of thing. If it's something that you don't do with consent. So I was at a gig and there was a guy being Because you I don't think you mentioned this yet.

SPEAKER_04 36:00

You did go there to DJ.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I had three gigs there. So during one of said shows, there's a guy getting completely out of pocket. And so I went to the bartender to get him like removed from the bar.

SPEAKER_04 36:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Within an instant, just he came and found me. He's like, let's go find him, and like took me around the bar. They my friends thought that I was getting kicked out or I was in trouble because he was like trying to find this guy so hard. I was like, no, no, no. So then we went outside, found a uh police officer, bouncer, yeah, boop, done. When out of there. Out of there. No questions asked.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

A lot of other uh places should take notes. Yeah. And please.

SPEAKER_02 36:40

I felt so safe. I was like, dude, all right. All I had to do was make sure they knew and they're like, nope, done.

SPEAKER_04 36:45

I felt really safe when I was there too. Yeah, totally. There was no bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 36:48

No bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

None. They don't not fuck around.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

At all. Um, so well, kind of speaking of, there's no public intoxication or drug use in the red light district. Um, it's not like Vegas where you can walk around with a drink. You cannot.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

Nope. That's not tolerated. It's a very respectful place.

SPEAKER_02 37:09

Got it.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

Um, which I love. So for the drug use for like smoking cannabis, you can they they do have cafes, smoke shops, and stuff, which you can smoke in those in the red light district, all hours of the day and night, but you have to stay inside.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Uh yeah. You cannot smoke on the street. And I don't think that's changed over the years. I remember that from when I was. I don't know when I first heard about Amsterdam in my teens, probably. I remember hearing about that. Like, do not smoke weed on the street.

SPEAKER_04 37:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

You have to be inside of this place. I don't smoke weed anyways. This is not my thing. But but yeah, I remember hearing about that. So I think that's that's obviously still there today.

SPEAKER_04 37:52

I think I smoked like a spliff when we were there. Shared amongst friends.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:56

I don't even know what that was at that time. It's like a half tobacco, half the Oh, I don't know. So it was like a little lighter.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Yeah, you're probably right.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

Yeah. All right. So and then always practice safe sex. The sex workers will not have sex with you without a condom or safe sex practices. Yeah. Um behave in public. Do not be a rowdy tourist. Yeah. This isn't Vegas. This is not Nashville.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

Um even though it attracts a lot of people who think it is, it's they think it's a party zone, a free-for-all, a fun, like, whoo.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:33

Let's just say don't be a Chad. Don't be a bachelor party Chad. Yeah. It will not be tolerated.

SPEAKER_02 38:42

No. Yeah. No, absolutely not. Hey, if you're a cool Chad, we're not talking about you.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

Exactly. Yep. All right, let's see. Age limit. So clients must be at least 16 years old, which is the age of consent. While the sex workers must be 21 years or older in Amsterdam.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 39:04

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Wow. Oh my.

SPEAKER_04 39:07

Well, I okay. Being like in the US, I know we we might think that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 39:13

I know.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

But also in Europe, there's kind of really no drinking age.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

Yeah. Why? You're kind of like I lived there for a year. I lived in London. You did. Yeah. Yes. So I'm yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:23

So this makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 39:24

Yeah, it totally makes sense.

SPEAKER_04 39:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Although I think to me as a 21-year-old, and I don't care what you're not 21. No, no, no. Back then. 21 plus. I'm 21 plus. That's right. Well, so am I. But I don't think I could even at I remember myself at 21, which was right about that time when I just moved back from the to the United States. And I don't I any 16-year-old in any country, I don't know that I would be, I'd be like, oh no. Hello, child. Oh God. Like, right? You're not mature enough yet for this.

SPEAKER_04 39:56

We're saying, like, damn it.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:58

Well, they have they have the right to refuse service to anybody. So if they they don't want to do that, they don't have to.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

Yeah. Yikes. Good point.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

All right. Also, I'm going to go over what it's like to be a worker.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 40:13

So I think we mentioned there's over 200 windows.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 40:17

And so I guess I might have to correct myself because he said there's an old district and a new district. So I'm not sure which one that's.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Yeah, it's probably the more I'm guessing the the things that yeah, the smaller one is I don't think uh the fact that Mike knew about it, I think, is just because he'd been there. Probably. You know.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

So all right. So for one night shift, well, they have day shifts too. So for one shift to rent um a window, it's about$200. And it varies on location of where the window is.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 40:48

Um, so with the room, you get unlimited supplies of like cleaning, clean beddings, towels, soap, and cleaning supplies. You also get cup uh or not, sorry, you also get coffee or tea. All rooms are equipped with air conditioning and Wi-Fi. Um if it's cold, they will provide you with heaters. Um, so every single room has a panic button that instantly contacts the police.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

That is amazing.

SPEAKER_04 41:19

And they're already nearby, they're dedicated team just for you. Excellent. And they s absolutely support sex workers and they will they're there to protect you.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:29

And so they're there to deal with uh the guys who will Yeah, who who get a little out of pocket. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 41:37

And I'm not on guys or women, I'm sure it happens with women too, but let's just go ahead and say it. I'm sure majority of the time it's it's dudes. Yeah. Um so uh on a lighter note, all the girls or whoever's working there, people can decorate their room however they want, their window.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Oh no. Now the now my my imagination is running. Right.

SPEAKER_04 42:02

I was so excited to hear this. They can use props or anything to entice these guys or whoever to choose them. Why is the first thing that came to mind Pokemon for me? Oh my goodness. You know what? The the weirder the better. In my mind, okay, come see Pikachu, right? So yeah, they have freedom. They're independent contractors, they can do whatever they want.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:23

Cause like, so when I was there, I didn't see any of this, but this is also 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

They were all just kind of sexy dancing and like looking hot.

SPEAKER_03 42:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:31

But like nowadays, one girl is actually kind of like locally famous, being known as like the disco ball girl. Oh, that sounds fun. She has like, she brings a disco ball to in her window. Yeah. For yeah. So if I'm walking by and I see disco ball in one of these windows and a hot girl dancing, I'm gonna choose her.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Yeah, it's like hot chick, hot chick, disco ball, hot chick. Done. Done chick. Yeah, that sounds that sounds about right.

SPEAKER_04 42:57

She brings like strobe lights, like like bubble machines, like, come on, done deal. Oh man, yeah. Rave, yeah, Barbie.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

Oh my goodness, yes.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

Now I have to go back.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

I want to find disco girl. I do too. I also want to find a Pikachu.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

Yeah. Or you could be one if you want.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what? Let's workshop that.

SPEAKER_04 43:22

There we go. Well, I'll go over. You can do that. Okay, I guess I'll say it now. Yeah. Since we're here.

SPEAKER_03 43:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:31

And then I'll go back to what it's like being a girl there. Um, so you can go to the sex worker museum and they have the an actual window along the actual street with all the other girls where you are the exhibit. You can have, you can be, you can sit in the window or dance in the window, and you can see what it's like to be ogled at ogled, oggled at all.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

Oggled, oggling, oggling.

SPEAKER_04 43:57

You know what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 43:59

You stare at them.

SPEAKER_04 44:00

Yes. To be uh admired by all of everybody walking the street, yeah, looking at all the workers. You are the exhibit at this museum. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

And I love it. I um I actually read on that too. Uh I think the it's called the the red light secrets.

SPEAKER_04 44:17

Yes. Yeah. There it is.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

Yeah, that's that's it.

SPEAKER_04 44:20

So I don't want to get too much on that because that's further along my notes. But while we were there, yeah, right on. Um so some girls offer quickie sessions where you can pay by the minute. So if you're a one-hit wonder.

unknown 44:36

Pika pika?

SPEAKER_04 44:38

Okay. I just don't. Pikachu. Oh my god. There it is. Yep, nailed it. If you only need one minute, I'm not hey, you know what? That's good for your wallet. Absolutely. I'm glad Lanies do that too. That's yeah amazing.

SPEAKER_02 45:02

Absolutely. Yeah. Love it. You know, they got they got something for everybody. Five minutes, five hours.

SPEAKER_04 45:08

You know what? You need if I were to be a worker there, so I might just want to do one or two minutes instead of an hour. Yeah. I mean, like that sounds way better.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:17

But that's just my own preference.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

But like that would be my preference too. I'm like, I I don't want to have a conversation.

SPEAKER_04 45:23

That's not me in the pri privacy of my own home or bedroom. I'm just saying if I was working.

SPEAKER_02 45:28

100% accurate. 100% accurate.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

So that being said, they can name their own price. And so you negotiate up front, agree on the price and the exact services provided before entering a room or beginning a transaction. Always payment in advance. I think it's an obvious. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:49

I'll pay you later.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

I'll pay you later.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

Yeah, right. My goodness. Not how this works.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

No.

SPEAKER_04 45:59

I get paid on Friday. Can I?

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Friday, good sir. Oh, good madam.

SPEAKER_04 46:06

All right. So should we get to things to do there?

SPEAKER_02 46:09

Yeah, let's do it.

SPEAKER_04 46:10

All right. So the obvious one with the workers. You know, we already went over that.

SPEAKER_02 46:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

So when we were there.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

I did that with Mike there.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

What?

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Wait, what? Things to do there.

SPEAKER_04 46:25

Oh, you did Mike there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

Okay, okay. Yeah. Mike is a thing to do while you thought you were saying hey, to do this, you do the sex workers while you're there. Oh, I guess I didn't do Mike in the red light district.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

I was gonna say, well.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

Never mind. You still did them in Amsterdam. Oh yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Sorry, Mike. Hey, I did Danny there too. It's fine. Oh, excellent. Yes. While Mike was with you. No, not while Mike was with me. In Amsterdam, to clarify.

unknown 46:53

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

The absent this absent thing. Okay. Sweet. All right. So while one of our friends, not Mike, in the group, did actually go with a windows ex program. He was like, you know what? When in Rome, I'm gonna do it. We're like, hell yeah, dude, do it. Yeah, go nuts. And we did not see him the rest of the night. He had a great time. Oh. All the more power to him. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:19

Wow. Amazing. Yeah. Love it for him. I love that for him too. I wanna do it.

SPEAKER_04 47:24

I'm kind of jealous. I should have, I should have, I should have done it.

SPEAKER_02 47:26

Oh, yeah. I don't know what I would have probably just been like, let's just talk for a few hours.

SPEAKER_04 47:31

Dude, it's like it's like when Danny brings me to a strip club, he is expecting like, oh, she's like girl girl action, you know, because I'm bi, love some titties.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:42

But I end up being like a waste of money at the strip club. Danny will hand me like a hundred bucks, and then I'll just be like talking to the stripper. I'm like, oh my God, I love your shoes. I love your outfit. Like, and then we start talking about hair. And make makeup.

unknown 47:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:57

And like, and Danny's like sometimes like sitting by the side, like everybody else, like watching, sometimes up to the rail, just like talking to the girl. And he's like, I come back to the table and he's like, Where'd all my money go? I'm like, to Clara over there. Isn't she cute? And he's like, What'd you do? I'm like, we talked about hair and makeup in her shoes. And like he's like, What?

SPEAKER_02 48:19

I'm like, sorry, hun. Clara. I love that that's the name. I don't know. Clara the stripper. Hold on. I'm gonna make a note of that.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

I think I've mentioned this before.

SPEAKER_02 48:29

I don't know why I like the name Clara the stripper. Yeah. Absent on absinthe and Clara the Stripper.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

Love Clara. Love being good, Clara.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 48:42

So he's always like, this is a waste of money to bring you here. I'm like, no, I had so much fun, and so did Clara.

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Yeah. Okay. Next year's Halloween costume, I'm gonna be Clara the Stripper. Love it.

SPEAKER_04 48:53

We talk about shoes.

SPEAKER_02 48:54

Yeah. And my makeup. I love it. I'll do it for you.

SPEAKER_04 49:00

All right. Anyways, let's move on. Clara, I love you. Okay. So there's I love you too. Oh. So there's the peep show. Yeah. So, all right. There's many kinds of peep shows you can go to.

SPEAKER_03 49:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:20

But the one that we went to, so there's a private ones, right? Which is one-on-one. You and the worker.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:27

One-on-one booth. We went to one that was like group peep show.

unknown 49:33

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 49:34

Okay. So like explain.

SPEAKER_02 49:36

Yes, explain.

SPEAKER_04 49:37

So it was a giant, like 10-foot circular room. And that was this quote unquote stage.

SPEAKER_03 49:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 49:44

And that's where the girl was. Yeah. And this stage like rotated. Like in a circle. Like it was like a carousel.

SPEAKER_02 49:52

A rotating peep show.

SPEAKER_04 49:54

And so she'd be in the middle on the stage doing her thing. You know, doing her. Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

Doing her thing. And you can't see this, but I'm doing my thing.

SPEAKER_04 50:03

She's like shimmying. Yes, she was shimmying. She's doing way more than shimmying. No, I love it. Um, so all around the entire circular stage, there was booths. Yeah. All these booths were side by side. Yeah. Um, and each booth was about the size of an airplane restroom. Like they were small. Oh, yeah, yeah. Very small. So you enter a booth. There's first of all, there's a long line. Once you get to the front of the line, you pick a booth. Yeah. You enter the booth. Very tiny booth. There's a coin slot. You enter a quarter or I don't know, whatever it is. The coin. Yeah. Yep. Into the slot. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. For into the slot, and your window in front of you opens straight up for about 15 seconds. And you get to watch the show.

SPEAKER_03 51:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:03

And there's no rules. You can do whatever you want in that booth.

SPEAKER_02 51:06

Oh my. By yourself.

SPEAKER_04 51:07

Or they do allow partners in your booth. We have to do this because I It's a tight squeeze with two people.

SPEAKER_02 51:12

It's totally fine. And so like anything goes, I'm all in.

SPEAKER_04 51:17

Love it. You can watch the show. This girl doing her thing, shibbing, for 15 seconds. And then your window closes. And then you have to enter another quarter to see more. Euro, whatever. Sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

Coins.

SPEAKER_04 51:31

Coin. Thank you. And so, but the thing is, because it's a circular stage and there's booths all around. Guess what?

SPEAKER_02 51:40

Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 51:41

Sometimes when you open your window, you can see straight across from you at the booth, across from you. And they have, if they have their window open at the same time, you can also see them. It's like a two for one. Kinda.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

Yeah. You get to. Yeah. Um dinner in a show, but that doesn't quite track. Depends on what dinner you're having. Oh, okay. This is what we could do. They'll erin. I'll be eating dinner. Oh my goodness. While my window opens up. So everybody literally is getting dinner in a show. Okay. I got it. I got it. Oh my God. Yes. Excellent. The lady on stage or the guy on stage might be like, what the fuck is going on?

SPEAKER_04 52:24

I'd be happy as hell if I were her and just have somebody's windows open and watching eat dinner while I'm doing my thing.

SPEAKER_02 52:30

Absolutely. Some mashed potatoes and gravy.

SPEAKER_04 52:33

Yeah. Yes. Oh my God. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 52:36

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:39

I'm going to say, but not say, I'm not sure if I should. Danny and I did go in a booth together, and I won't say what we did. But That's fine.

SPEAKER_02 52:47

You can tell me later.

SPEAKER_04 52:48

There you go.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Everybody else, you can use your message.

SPEAKER_04 52:51

One in Rome.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

One in Rome. Yeah. It was it was fun. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

So sometimes the coin slots get jammed.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

Oh, did you just read my mind? Okay. My next question was what if it gets stuck?

SPEAKER_04 53:05

Well, because people try to like put like quarter after coin, coin after coin after coin in there to keep the window open. Because like 15 seconds is not long enough. Absolutely not. And so it gets jammed. So then employees have to like unjam it, the slot, and like that's what she said. Oh my. Will you unjam my slot?

SPEAKER_02 53:26

Yeah, I'll unjam your slot. I love this. That's it. That's a wrap. That's the end of the show. That's all, folks. Yeah. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_04 53:37

I thought that was funny.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

That is funny. Oh my. Well, good thing that didn't happen while you guys were jammed in that thing. We only put a couple coins in. Oh, you just needed 30 seconds. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

We were. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Sorry, Danny.

SPEAKER_04 53:51

There was a no, no, there was a long, or that I'm that good.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

Also true. No. Also true.

SPEAKER_04 53:57

There was a long line, okay?

SPEAKER_02 53:58

I didn't want to take a hey, you paid your 15 seconds.

SPEAKER_04 54:02

Yeah. It's called quickie for a reason. It's fine. Absolutely. Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_02 54:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:10

All right. Let's see. We um what's on my next of my notes? Do do do.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

I don't know. I'm so distracted by that.

SPEAKER_04 54:18

I know. A live peep show. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 54:20

Well, okay. What I'm imagining, you know, the like a carnival, the swirly things that go really fast. That's what it yeah. But like, obviously it's not going that fast, but I'm imagining like that kind of scenario, but just really slow.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

It's slow and everything's red. It's like a red light in there, too. So it's very sexy. It's very it was fun. Nice. So if you see a big neon sign that says peep show, go.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

Just wash your hands after it. The what? I'll just get that's the red light I'll get for my house that we were talking about earlier. Peep show.

SPEAKER_04 54:54

A neon sign says peep show? Yeah, in red. You'll just stand at your window.

SPEAKER_02 54:57

Yeah. I don't know if the neighbors will like it, but whatever. Some of them might. Some of them might. I think my neighbor neighbor would, but yes.

SPEAKER_04 55:09

All right. Let's go. Let's go on. So the next thing you can do is go to a live sex show.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 55:17

One there's a Moulin Rouge one. And then there's, yep, Casa Rosa.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Casa Rosa is what it is. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah. Which I kept making the joke that it was um uh what's that place in uh uh Casa Bonita.

SPEAKER_04 55:32

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

Nobody liked that joke, but I thought it was funny. Different place.

SPEAKER_04 55:36

Yeah, different place, completely different. So it's a live sex show and it it's exactly the way it sounds. It's nothing we went in our experience going very weird. Ooh, tell me what so you find this guy on the street on the beautiful cobblestone streets or the red lead district. He's like on the corner. Everybody knew who this guy was.

SPEAKER_02 56:00

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 56:01

And like you give it was like we had eight of us, I think, or something.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:06

You give him money and he's like, follow me. And so the the alleyways in Amsterdam are very small, tight, like, and they're very windy, twisty. Like we followed him for like four or five blocks.

SPEAKER_03 56:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:21

And it was like uh getting to be in the middle of nowhere. Like we're like, okay, we just handed the stranger a bunch of money.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

And you're just walking through the alley.

SPEAKER_04 56:30

Yep. And he's bringing us to God knows where. And then he brings you to another guy, which you pay him more money. Like, okay. And so we did that. And then this guy says, follow me. And you follow him another four or five blocks through these very tightly squeezed, twisty, windy alleyways.

SPEAKER_03 56:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 56:50

And all of a sudden you appear at this door that looks like any other door that you've passed, but it's the door.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:56

And we're like, okay, what's happening here? We're we're okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03 57:01

You're like, uh-oh.

SPEAKER_04 57:02

What's about to happen to us? We just gave two people a bunch of money. Yeah. And we're just following them aimlessly.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

Okay. Like, we got this. It's fine.

SPEAKER_04 57:09

All right. It's fine. It's fine. Um, so we uh walk through this door and it's like a very small theater. It sits like maybe 30 people, and there's a very small stage.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 57:21

Danny chose that we sit up front.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

I would have done the exact same thing.

SPEAKER_04 57:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

As you gotta be in the splash zone.

SPEAKER_04 57:29

Right. Yeah. Oh, the stage was like two feet from the people. Small space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

Well, better uh wear a raincoat.

SPEAKER_04 57:38

Yep. Right. And so what's that one comedian? No, I'm sorry. Gallagher. Oh god. Yes. They did not provide raincoats. But anyways. So um, first of all, they give you the rules and no cell phones, obviously. They will, if they this happened a couple times during the it's like a 30-minute show. If they see somebody with a cell phone out at all, lights, they turn the lights on.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:03

The entire theater's lights on, and they'll give you a warning, we do it again, you're kicked out. It happened like twice, but wow. So anyways, so during the show, it's also kind of like a sexy talent show.

SPEAKER_03 58:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

They'll have different acts of like, what do we see? Um a girl, a woman, um, smoking a cigar out of her hoo-ha.

SPEAKER_02 58:31

All right. And I was like, Yeah, yeah. That's that's that's some talent. Yeah. Also, I would not do that. I'd be afraid I'd burn myself for sure. Right. But it wouldn't even give it an attempt.

SPEAKER_04 58:42

Oh, she smoked the entire thing. What?

SPEAKER_02 58:46

Down to the no, yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm pissed that we didn't go there now. That is some that takes I thought I say when you describe that, I'm thinking, oh, a couple puffs. She's like, all right, here's my talent. No, it was like the entire she like did acrobatics.

SPEAKER_04 59:00

She was like on-in the whole time? Yeah. What? She was like standing on her head with her legs split up in the air, like still smoking it out of her hoo-ha. It was insane.

SPEAKER_02 59:09

Yeah. Okay. So now, now where my head goes is like, okay, so how's she just doing that? She's probably using her keegels and like the whole time. That takes some uh concentration to be also doing all this other crazy stuff. Yeah. You know what? She should apply for you know, one of those America or Europe or something's got talent shows. I'd watch it.

SPEAKER_04 59:31

Absolutely. Oh my god. Well, anyways. This is the sexy version of that, I think. I mean, she made it. Yeah. There's also another act that was uh so you know the magicians that just pull the scarves out of like their mouth.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

I don't even want to know where you're going with that. I already feel like you already know where I'm going with this. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 59:52

So she yeah, pulled the scarves out of her hoo ha. And this was a they also had audience participation. Oh so somebody volunteered and he sat in a chair and she would like pull the scarf out and like hand it to him. Oh my. And then she kept so he was hanging on to one end of the scarf.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:12

And then she kept dancing around him in circles while letting the scarf just keep coming out of her. And I think he got wrapped around like 10 times. And he just sitting there laughing, smiling, having a griddle time. Oh my god. It was hilarious. It was great.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:26

I mean, I mean, I guess you could have a whole baby in there. I put a lot of scarves in there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:33

Yeah. The scarves scars scrunch up pretty small.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:36

Yeah, those little, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:38

It was fun to watch.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:39

That would be very fun to watch. And also I would have had lots of questions.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:44

What are the tricks? What are the tricks up your sleeve? Literally. Oh my. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:54

You're gonna like this next one. Yeah. Okay. It gets better. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So remember the other episode we talked about helicopter dick?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:01

Oh yeah. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:03

So we got we saw helicopter dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:05

He was hula hooping on his helicopter dick.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

Oh my gosh. And you didn't get his number?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:14

I'd want to be friends with that guy for parties.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:16

No kidding.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:17

What a pretty trick.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

Any of these.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Yeah. Well, don't just go whipping your dick out. But no, but you know, I'll invite you for said purpose to make sure people know, hey, we're going to help helicopter dick and at least tell people about it if they want to hear about it. Yeah. I feel like a lot of people would want to see that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:35

Not for the sexual nature, but for the sheer talent.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:38

I feel like I don't believe you. Like, prove it.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:45

All right. So there's the I'm not going to give it all away. All the acts. There's more. It was so fun. Yeah. But so then also there's also the live sex acts, obviously. They would sprinkle those in there between all of these. And it wasn't sexy. It was literally just like, I think the ones you saw were like doggy style.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:06

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:07

It's exactly what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:08

You're just like, okay, cool. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:10

Right. I've seen that. I've done that. It sounds hot in theory, but like It's just regular old people having sex. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:19

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:20

Um, and then in the crowd we were in, somebody else in the front row decided it'd be a great idea to high-five the actor mid-act while he's doing doggy style.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:34

Oh, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:34

Oh, and the actor went along with it. Oh, really? So did the girl. They were laughing, and then some other girl went up and then high-fived the girl. And even the actors are laughing and having a good time with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:45

Okay, I'm so glad I heard this because now I'm in a high-five when I go to this, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:50

Mid-act.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:50

Yeah. Mike's probably gonna be like, stop doing that. And I was like, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:54

Everybody was having a it was actually the actors had fun with it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

They loved it. It was fine. Yeah, Mike Black would probably encourage me. He'll be like, maybe they'll let you slap them on the butt.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:04

Always ask.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:05

Always ask. Always ask.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:06

Well, he was he kind of asked as like a he put his hand up there and like, yeah, he like pointed to his hand, like, yeah, thumbs up, like, hey, is this okay? And the actor's like, yeah. Oh wow. It was consensual. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:20

But definitely go to this if you it's a it's an adventure and it's so fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:24

Well, so you said, you know, more like a sexy talent show. So now I'm thinking, like, is there like a reward for like, hey, I gave the fastest blow job?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:33

I don't think there was. The Spliffit kicked in by then.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:37

I might have been a second show.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

I don't know. I forgot.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:40

It's been 10 years.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:41

Nice. Exactly. All right. New memories.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:46

Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:47

So obviously there's hidden brothels.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:51

Obviously. I don't think I have to explain that one.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:53

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:54

Um, but also there's a thing called the confessions wall. And that's at the museum of prostitution, the red light secrets.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:01

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:02

And has a confessions wall.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:04

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:05

Where visitors can anonymously write down and draw their darkest secrets.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

Oh, that's not what I thought it was gonna be.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:12

Oh the museum displays some of the most outrageous anonymous confessions, making it quirky. Fun, stop.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:19

Wow. See, I thought it was more like like a like a glory hole type of situation. Oh. Confessing yourself.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:25

I didn't even go down that rabbit hole of it. I'm sure they're they're there. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I should have looked more. But you know what? They're there. Oh, I know they're there. You can go down that rabbit hole yourself on the internet. I kind of don't want to if I'm gonna put it on such a public platform.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:45

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:46

Because if you find it on the internets, that's fine. Yeah. And that's that it should be kept a secret. I'm not gonna give that secret away in a public platform. It should I'm not gonna be like, hey, it's at this place at this time. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:57

No. If you find it, good for you. It's there. I don't want to put that out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:01

No. No, I want you to have your fun you have to do.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:05

It should be kept a secret.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:06

Yeah, exactly. So they can just keep having fun. Exactly. Yeah. In secret. 100%. Because with their absinthe. Absent. We're absent of absinthe. See, I'm gonna start saying absent.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:20

Do you want some absent?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:22

I'll take some absent.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:23

Let's do some absent. Sip, sip.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:26

Sip, sip.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:28

It is a sipping drink.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:30

For sure. Like there's no way you can just sip.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:32

I mean, I mean, like I wouldn't, I'm not saying that I wouldn't eat just a giant handful of black black licorice chili beans.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:40

I would say black chili. I was like, black chili beans? I'm like, okay, I wouldn't eat a handful of those either. It probably wouldn't have the effect you wanted, but you know. I would not just slam an attire drink of this. It's a sipper. No, no, it's definitely a sipper.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:54

So we were talking about confession wall.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:57

And secrets anonymously. Guess what, Eve?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:02

Ooh, you have a secret confession to tell me?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:04

I have some listener stories. Surprise! Yes. Uh-huh. There's only two. Okay, great. But I'm so excited. Thank you for writing in. It was so much fun. All right. So I'm gonna read the first one. You know what? You can read the second one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:22

In their sultry voice. My sultry voice. Yes, perfect. Okay, let me let me prep.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

That's how you prep.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:28

I I don't know what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

Yeah. All right. First one. Yeah. Space cake confession. I think we all know where this is going. All right. Let's let's hear this. Okay, let's go. Yeah. All right. It says I ate half a space cake because I didn't feel anything after 10 minutes. I ate the other half. 10 minutes. Famous last words right there. Ten minutes. Those things take like what 45 minutes to an hour?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:59

Sometimes I've heard people like having THC hit them two, three hours later. So that's usually the times when people are like, well, I just took some more THC and then I blast it off to Jupiter.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:10

That's the name Space Cake. Exactly. All right. Spoiler alert. It felt me before I felt it.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:19

Did it? Tell me how it felt you.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:22

Uh-huh. Oh, they're gonna tell us, all right.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:24

Yeah. I'm prepping for the story.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:26

I ended up with friends at the erotic museum, which was our original plan.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:32

And I was staring at a 200-year-old painting of people having sex, and I whispered to the painting, good for you. Wow. All right. My friend said, I stopped by every single painting and art piece and congratulated them. There's usually people having sex in the painting or some sort of toy or something. And I said, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:00

Good for you. I'm proud of you. Good job, guys. Oh my gosh. That would have been so funny to be next to this person. I would have died last year.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:08

It was just so serious.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:10

That's great.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:11

Yes, I was telling the paintings out loud how great of sex they were having, and I was proud of them. Thanks a reading. You know what? What a anonymous.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:18

What a positive person. Right. Can you imagine? Yeah. They just, you know, eat a whole bunch of T C and they're like telling paintings, they're giving the paintings positive affirmation.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:28

Right. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:29

That's probably a really nice person.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:31

You know, they're probably hanging out with them. Yeah. I want you to, you know, look at a painting of me and give tell me it's a great job. I'm proud of you. Good for you. Good for you. I like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:43

I like that. Oh that's a different kind of positive affirmation. Yeah, the positive affirmations are my kink.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:50

Oh. Honestly.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

I mean, I mean, they should be everybody's, let's be honest.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:56

Yes. 100%.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:58

So I oh my God. I do have, well, it wasn't space cake, but I do have a cannabis related story from when I was in Amsterdam. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what? Mike was there too, your boyfriend. Oh, perfect. Great. Excellent. Danny was not. He stayed back at the hotel.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:14

Um, but we were all out for lunch.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:17

And we were just sitting there eating. It was a smoke cafe. And it was a group of like, I don't know, eight of us. I don't know. Whatever. But we were not partaking. We were just having lunch. We just woke up. Whatever.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:31

And halfway through lunch, maybe like 45 minutes in, we all were just kind of giggling and laughing extra hard. I don't even remember what we were talking about. And all of a sudden, we all just kind of looked around each other at a this table and we all like, fuck, are we high?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:48

You got hotbox by the restaurant. Awesome.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:51

It was smoky in there. Yeah. And we're like, oh my God, we're all high as fuck. Not on purpose. Like, it was like great.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:00

This food is so good. I'm gonna order a second one.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

I know. We're all just like laughing and like probably about nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:06

And like somebody smiled wrong, and you're like, we're all just eating.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:12

Like it was amazing. One of my favorite memories of Amsterdam. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:17

Oh my gosh. That is awesome. So Mike was in there?

SPEAKER_04 1:10:21

I think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:22

He does not smoke weed. He's like, he's the same as a big thing. Neither do I. I wouldn't agree. So just one time in my life, though, I do want to see him high on weed or DHC or something since it's legal now.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:32

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:33

He won't, though. He won't. And I I don't either. So I'm with him.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:36

It makes me paranoid. It makes me weird. Unless it's like it has to be a very specific strain. I have one like bag of gummies that was very specific.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:46

But somebody got them from Denver. And so I couldn't get them again, really. Oh yeah. And so I like held on to those like for years. And like I think I have like one left. And it's like as hard as a rock because it's been so many years.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:59

Oh, you know what? We could use it as a sugar cube.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:01

Probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:04

It definitely would be absent at that point. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:07

Well, okay, so the wormwood that's supposed to be in the absinthe doesn't actually do anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:14

No.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:14

And that's coming from a bartender from an actual absent bar in Amsterdam. Oh yeah. So back in the day, centuries ago, it did. Yeah. But that's where that comes from. Yeah. Um. Alright, so there's one last story.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:29

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:30

Do you I'll hand it over to you to read.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:32

Drum roll, please.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:33

Get ready for Eve's sultry voice.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

Yeah, let's get ready. Okay, this is very short kind of.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:38

Yeah, no, short and sweet.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

All right. So my husband and I got a hotel room overlooking the red light district. We thought the tinted windows meant no one could see in. Turns out they could. In the middle of doing it, we heard a crowd cheering and clapping from below. So hot. Congratulations to us, apparently. That's it. That's the story.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:10

So everybody could see what they were doing.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:13

Yeah, totally. They made that very hot. Yeah, I know. It was so hot and they could see them. They cucked the whole street.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:22

The biggest cock chair of all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:25

Have you ever heard of a cuctional?

SPEAKER_04 1:12:28

Is that like a couch?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:30

I don't know. Use your imagination.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:32

Like a sectional? Yeah. Like a couch. A cuctional. So the wait! Wait, okay. So like instead of it's like multiple people watching? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:45

Yeah, why not? You cuck your whole friend.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:46

Okay, I like that. All right. That's fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:50

You're welcome. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:52

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:53

I'll tell you the story behind where we uh coined that word.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:56

Yeah. Later. There are some things during this episode I couldn't say on air that I'll tell you as well. Oh, yeah. Actually. We'll go back over our notes and I'll tell you more.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:06

100%.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:07

Okay. It will not be on Patreon. I'm sorry, everyone.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:11

But if you want to join our Patreon, it's patreon.com slash kinks and cocktails. You can find us everywhere on social media, Kingsand Cocktails. Um we also have a website, kingsandcocktails.com.

unknown 1:13:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:25

If you want to confess your own sex capade story, you can do so at our website or write us an email at kingsandcocktails at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:35

Yeah. Yes, confess your sins at kingsandcocktails.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:40

You can go to the church in Amsterdam. Now we have to plan a trip.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:47

Yeah, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:49

Kings and cocktails goes to Amsterdam.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:51

Yeah. Oh yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:52

Oh amazing. All right. This was fun, Eve. It was so much fun. One more sip, absinthe. We'll finish it.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:00

All right. Well, thanks, everyone. That was so fun. See you in Amsterdam. Woo! Woo! Bye.

unknown 1:14:05

Bye.