{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":60.510000000000005,"endTime":64.92,"body":"Welcoming anger in, you're also"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":60.510000000000005,"endTime":64.92,"body":"welcoming in a reconnection to your"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":64.92,"endTime":69.96000000000001,"body":"intuition, which then allows you to feel"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":64.92,"endTime":69.96000000000001,"body":"more confident in your own decisions."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":69.96000000000001,"endTime":72.78,"body":"It cultivates your own self trust."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":72.78,"endTime":78.27000000000001,"body":"Like there really are, I think, so"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":72.78,"endTime":78.27000000000001,"body":"many benefits to making that connection"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":78.275,"endTime":84.0,"body":"and really trusting in yourself and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":78.275,"endTime":84.0,"body":"trusting that you can express and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":84.0,"endTime":89.46000000000001,"body":"communicate anger in safe and healthy"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":84.0,"endTime":89.46000000000001,"body":"ways that actually are in service to you."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":92.88,"endTime":96.45,"body":"You are listening to the"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":92.88,"endTime":96.45,"body":"Hot + Brave podcast with Bianca Sprague,"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":96.45,"endTime":101.43,"body":"from Bebo Mia, where you'll hear brave"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":96.45,"endTime":101.43,"body":"stories, hot topics, and truth bombs"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":101.43,"endTime":105.63,"body":"that will either like fire to your rage"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":101.43,"endTime":105.63,"body":"or be the balm you need for your soul."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":110.325,"endTime":113.45500000000001,"body":"Welcome to the next"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":110.325,"endTime":113.45500000000001,"body":"episode of the Hot + Brave podcast."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":113.475,"endTime":114.825,"body":"I'm your host, Bianca Sprague."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":115.005,"endTime":118.035,"body":"This is part of our summer"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":115.005,"endTime":118.035,"body":"sneak peak sizzeler reel."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":118.035,"endTime":120.344,"body":"And we're going to be diving"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":118.035,"endTime":120.344,"body":"into the season one topic,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":120.344,"endTime":122.505,"body":"which is all about women's rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":122.83500000000001,"endTime":123.135,"body":"Today."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":123.135,"endTime":127.455,"body":"We're joined by Amy C Willis,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":123.135,"endTime":127.455,"body":"who is my best friend, an amazing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":127.46000000000001,"endTime":129.2,"body":"queer feminist sober killjoy."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":129.22,"endTime":132.57999999999998,"body":"She runs her own movement Whole and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":129.22,"endTime":132.57999999999998,"body":"Well, which supports women and queer"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":132.57999999999998,"endTime":134.29000000000002,"body":"folks through their sobriety journeys."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":134.56,"endTime":138.04000000000002,"body":"She's also a huge supporter of,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":134.56,"endTime":138.04000000000002,"body":"and contributor to Bebo Mia."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":138.31,"endTime":141.73000000000002,"body":"She is my companion in all things"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":138.31,"endTime":141.73000000000002,"body":"platonic in my life, and I am"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":141.73000000000002,"endTime":145.0,"body":"so happy she will be sharing her"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":141.73000000000002,"endTime":145.0,"body":"wisdom with all of you here today."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":145.39,"endTime":146.26,"body":"Welcome Amy."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":147.01,"endTime":149.14,"body":"I am very thrilled to be here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":149.2,"endTime":150.61,"body":"I'm so happy you're here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":151.66,"endTime":153.67000000000002,"body":"So let's talk about anger."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":154.349,"endTime":155.51999999999998,"body":"Do you know anything about that?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":155.789,"endTime":162.09,"body":"It's one of my favorite topics"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":155.789,"endTime":162.09,"body":"on the planet,  and I do, I know some"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":162.095,"endTime":167.19,"body":"things about it and yeah, I'm, I think"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":162.095,"endTime":167.19,"body":"it's a topic that needs more air time."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":167.19,"endTime":172.23000000000002,"body":"And I especially think it's a topic that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":167.19,"endTime":172.23000000000002,"body":"more women need to be talking about and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":172.235,"endTime":177.36,"body":"experiencing and expressing and all of"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":172.235,"endTime":177.36,"body":"those things and hopefully conversations"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":177.36,"endTime":178.679,"body":"like these can help facilitate."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":179.274,"endTime":179.60500000000002,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":179.69400000000002,"endTime":180.29500000000002,"body":"I agree."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":180.35500000000002,"endTime":185.065,"body":"And this is something that Amy and I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":180.35500000000002,"endTime":185.065,"body":"spend many, many hours a week, power"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":185.065,"endTime":189.47500000000002,"body":"walking and talking and on the phone"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":185.065,"endTime":189.47500000000002,"body":"and essentially our airpods stay"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":189.47500000000002,"endTime":194.25,"body":"in our ears as we just rant about"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":189.47500000000002,"endTime":194.25,"body":"our days from our respective homes."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":194.25,"endTime":198.26800000000003,"body":"So let's jump in and talk"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":194.25,"endTime":198.26800000000003,"body":"about how has anger served you?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":198.418,"endTime":200.098,"body":"Mm-hmm  that's a great question."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":200.45800000000003,"endTime":205.31799999999998,"body":"And I think when I reflect back"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":200.45800000000003,"endTime":205.31799999999998,"body":"on my life, I think I spent a lot"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":205.31799999999998,"endTime":210.90800000000002,"body":"of years feeling really angry,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":205.31799999999998,"endTime":210.90800000000002,"body":"but not fully understanding why."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":211.298,"endTime":217.868,"body":"And also not fully tuning into"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":211.298,"endTime":217.868,"body":"the experience of being angry."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":217.868,"endTime":223.418,"body":"So a little bit about me, I'm an"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":217.868,"endTime":223.418,"body":"Aquarius and I have a very deep"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":223.418,"endTime":227.19799999999998,"body":"seated sense of justice and injustice."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":227.19799999999998,"endTime":231.868,"body":"And so with that, for as far back as I"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":227.19799999999998,"endTime":231.868,"body":"can remember, I've always moved through"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":231.868,"endTime":237.688,"body":"the world feeling very deeply attuned"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":231.868,"endTime":237.688,"body":"when things were not just and right."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":237.77800000000002,"endTime":239.998,"body":"And when I would see inequities and."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":240.94299999999998,"endTime":243.728,"body":"You know unfairness"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":240.94299999999998,"endTime":243.728,"body":"take shape in the world."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":243.728,"endTime":245.07799999999997,"body":"It would always really bother me."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":245.07799999999997,"endTime":250.298,"body":"And I think for a really long time, it,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":245.07799999999997,"endTime":250.298,"body":"I just was angry and it felt terrible"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":250.298,"endTime":253.628,"body":"because I wasn't fully experiencing it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":253.628,"endTime":254.88799999999998,"body":"I wasn't expressing it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":254.88799999999998,"endTime":257.01800000000003,"body":"And I wasn't really"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":254.88799999999998,"endTime":257.01800000000003,"body":"doing anything with it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":257.078,"endTime":263.363,"body":"And I feel like  in my, you know, more"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":257.078,"endTime":263.363,"body":"recent years, I've actually really"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":263.363,"endTime":269.573,"body":"learned to connect to my experiences of"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":263.363,"endTime":269.573,"body":"rage and actually do something with it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":269.573,"endTime":275.513,"body":"So you mentioned in the intro, my business"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":269.573,"endTime":275.513,"body":"Whole and Well, so I'm a sober person and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":275.513,"endTime":279.983,"body":"I'm really trying to change the landscape"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":275.513,"endTime":279.983,"body":"when it comes to how we think about"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":279.983,"endTime":281.873,"body":"and talk about and engage with alcohol."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":282.203,"endTime":288.173,"body":"And that movement, and my sobriety"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":282.203,"endTime":288.173,"body":"are largely fueled by anger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":288.813,"endTime":295.373,"body":"Because the way that big alcohol lies"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":288.813,"endTime":295.373,"body":"to us and manipulates us and makes us"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":295.378,"endTime":300.133,"body":"sick and kills us and takes advantage"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":295.378,"endTime":300.133,"body":"of our suffering and the state that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":300.133,"endTime":302.89300000000003,"body":"we live in, it makes me really mad."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":303.043,"endTime":308.983,"body":"And so that's one example in my life"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":303.043,"endTime":308.983,"body":"of how anger has fueled the work that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":308.983,"endTime":311.623,"body":"I do and has actually fueled change."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":311.623,"endTime":314.89300000000003,"body":"And the change in my life and the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":311.623,"endTime":314.89300000000003,"body":"change in, you know, the lives of the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":314.89300000000003,"endTime":316.603,"body":"people that I work with in my community."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":316.84299999999996,"endTime":318.043,"body":"Mm-hmm  yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":318.043,"endTime":321.527,"body":"I mean, anger it's it can cause a lot of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":318.043,"endTime":321.527,"body":"suffering when it's sitting in our body."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":321.527,"endTime":325.157,"body":"And that's one of the things we wanna"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":321.527,"endTime":325.157,"body":"talk about today because I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":325.157,"endTime":329.522,"body":"know from my personal experience, I too"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":325.157,"endTime":329.522,"body":"started Bebo Mia from a state of rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":329.582,"endTime":333.392,"body":"I also had undiagnosed postpartum"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":329.582,"endTime":333.392,"body":"depression and that in and of itself"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":333.392,"endTime":337.832,"body":"makes me rage because I, I had it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":333.392,"endTime":337.832,"body":"undiagnosed for almost two years."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":338.012,"endTime":343.682,"body":"So that was two years of people not"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":338.012,"endTime":343.682,"body":"noticing enough about me, the people"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":343.682,"endTime":346.98199999999997,"body":"who should have been monitoring me and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":343.682,"endTime":346.98199999999997,"body":"protecting me and keeping me safe so"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":346.98199999999997,"endTime":351.452,"body":"that I could keep my daughter safe, cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":346.98199999999997,"endTime":351.452,"body":"that was my job as her primary caregiver."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":351.452,"endTime":355.412,"body":"But it slipped through the crack"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":351.452,"endTime":355.412,"body":"from my family of origin, from"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":355.412,"endTime":357.062,"body":"my daughter's other parent."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":357.30199999999996,"endTime":359.642,"body":"And I mean that in and of itself."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":359.642,"endTime":364.142,"body":"So like the rage was a, you know,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":359.642,"endTime":364.142,"body":"also correlated with a, with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":364.142,"endTime":365.55199999999996,"body":"a state of mental unwellness."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":365.792,"endTime":370.05199999999996,"body":"But like through my life, I also"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":365.792,"endTime":370.05199999999996,"body":"found, I, I felt like this just"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":370.057,"endTime":372.962,"body":"general sense of injustice and I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":370.057,"endTime":372.962,"body":"didn't know how to connect to it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":373.202,"endTime":376.317,"body":"I found the more I stepped into"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":373.202,"endTime":376.317,"body":"my truth, you know, coming out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":376.337,"endTime":380.147,"body":"All of these other steps, it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":376.337,"endTime":380.147,"body":"allowed me to actually deal and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":380.17699999999996,"endTime":382.847,"body":"isolate some of the rage, like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":380.17699999999996,"endTime":382.847,"body":"tease it apart because it becomes"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":382.847,"endTime":384.61699999999996,"body":"like one of those giant yarn balls."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":384.61699999999996,"endTime":387.917,"body":"And it feels just like, it just"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":384.61699999999996,"endTime":387.917,"body":"sits on your chest all the time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":388.502,"endTime":393.182,"body":"And so I know for Bebo Mia, that was, that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":388.502,"endTime":393.182,"body":"was my fuel that I passed my kitchen with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":393.182,"endTime":399.722,"body":"a newborn baby and wildly under-resourced"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":393.182,"endTime":399.722,"body":"wildly under cared for like no support,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":399.739,"endTime":402.409,"body":"in a relationship that was just terrible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":402.409,"endTime":405.139,"body":"It didn't serve my heart"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":402.409,"endTime":405.139,"body":"or my soul or my being."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":405.389,"endTime":408.359,"body":"And I knew that I was like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":405.389,"endTime":408.359,"body":"I need to find people."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":408.359,"endTime":410.459,"body":"I need to deal with all these feelings."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":410.459,"endTime":411.419,"body":"I need more."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":411.779,"endTime":417.804,"body":"And so you know, rage is fuel and as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":411.779,"endTime":417.804,"body":"long as we keep it out of the suffering,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":417.804,"endTime":422.75399999999996,"body":"which I, Amy and I would both say in our"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":417.804,"endTime":422.75399999999996,"body":"stories that it just like, it just stewed"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":422.75399999999996,"endTime":426.964,"body":"in us for most of our lives, and that's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":422.75399999999996,"endTime":426.964,"body":"where it be, you know, it makes us sick."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":426.969,"endTime":429.724,"body":"It, it, it just like pools and stews."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":429.97499999999997,"endTime":434.175,"body":"And so now we can take it, we can feel"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":429.97499999999997,"endTime":434.175,"body":"it, we can go through the process and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":434.175,"endTime":435.735,"body":"we can do some really cool shit with it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":435.764,"endTime":438.284,"body":"Which is what we're gonna talk about"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":435.764,"endTime":438.284,"body":"today, which I'm really excited about."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":438.49399999999997,"endTime":443.051,"body":"So when we talk about anger I think"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":438.49399999999997,"endTime":443.051,"body":"it's important for, you know, language"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":443.051,"endTime":446.95099999999996,"body":"matters and that we talk about like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":443.051,"endTime":446.95099999999996,"body":"what are we talking about with anger?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":446.95599999999996,"endTime":448.151,"body":"What does it feel like?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":448.271,"endTime":450.671,"body":"And like, where did this bad for women?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":450.911,"endTime":454.301,"body":"Like why did anger become"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":450.911,"endTime":454.301,"body":"something that we couldn't explore?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":454.601,"endTime":461.26099999999997,"body":"I mean, I think we all can"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":454.601,"endTime":461.26099999999997,"body":"sort of speak to our own experiences"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":461.26099999999997,"endTime":467.25399999999996,"body":"of anger in our lives, but as far"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":461.26099999999997,"endTime":467.25399999999996,"body":"back as I can remember it was never"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":467.25399999999996,"endTime":473.644,"body":"really acceptable or encouraged for"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":467.25399999999996,"endTime":473.644,"body":"girls or women in my life, people"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":473.644,"endTime":477.034,"body":"around me to really experience anger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":477.034,"endTime":484.894,"body":"And I think the unspoken, but deeply"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":477.034,"endTime":484.894,"body":"ingrained societal expectation is that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":484.899,"endTime":492.094,"body":"women and girls are supposed to be kind"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":484.899,"endTime":492.094,"body":"and quiet and gentle and giving and in"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":492.099,"endTime":496.954,"body":"service of others, mainly children and men"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":492.099,"endTime":496.954,"body":"and supportive and comforting and loving"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":496.954,"endTime":503.584,"body":"and all of those things are associated"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":496.954,"endTime":503.584,"body":"with our goodness and our value as women."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":504.43399999999997,"endTime":509.659,"body":"And anger doesn't really mesh well"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":504.43399999999997,"endTime":509.659,"body":"with those, with those other elements."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":509.664,"endTime":513.0790000000001,"body":"And so I think, you know, what"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":509.664,"endTime":513.0790000000001,"body":"it means to be a good woman"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":513.0790000000001,"endTime":515.119,"body":"does not connect with anger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":515.4490000000001,"endTime":518.899,"body":"And I think it's a very gendered emotion."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":518.899,"endTime":523.609,"body":"It has become a very gendered emotion"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":518.899,"endTime":523.609,"body":"and for, you know, people who identify"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":523.609,"endTime":529.6610000000001,"body":"as women, as girl and girls anger is"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":523.609,"endTime":529.6610000000001,"body":"insidiously cleaved from femininity."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":529.6610000000001,"endTime":532.7810000000001,"body":"And it's not something"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":529.6610000000001,"endTime":532.7810000000001,"body":"that we're allowed to be."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":532.7810000000001,"endTime":536.7710000000001,"body":"So angry girls and angry women are"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":532.7810000000001,"endTime":536.7710000000001,"body":"not good women and not good girls."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":536.951,"endTime":539.951,"body":"And I think that this is intentional"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":536.951,"endTime":539.951,"body":"conditioning and a strategic"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":539.951,"endTime":542.501,"body":"part of the patriarchal upkeep."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":542.7710000000001,"endTime":545.5310000000001,"body":"So that that's a little"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":542.7710000000001,"endTime":545.5310000000001,"body":"bit about how we got here."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":546.551,"endTime":547.241,"body":"What do you think?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":547.631,"endTime":548.561,"body":"Yeah, I agree."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":548.561,"endTime":553.201,"body":"And I mean, that good girl thing is"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":548.561,"endTime":553.201,"body":"like so deep I'm I have been like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":553.391,"endTime":557.231,"body":"unlearning my good girl, like I'm"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":553.391,"endTime":557.231,"body":"learning and it's really, really hard."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":557.231,"endTime":559.1610000000001,"body":"And I know people can be"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":557.231,"endTime":559.1610000000001,"body":"really surprised about that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":559.1610000000001,"endTime":563.0,"body":"And I know when it pops up where I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":559.1610000000001,"endTime":563.0,"body":"oh, a like a good girl would stay quiet or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":563.0,"endTime":564.5,"body":"a good girl would smile at that comment."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":564.5,"endTime":565.6700000000001,"body":"You don't like out in the world."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":566.21,"endTime":569.78,"body":"And it catches me off guard sometimes"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":566.21,"endTime":569.78,"body":"where I'm like, oh shit, I hated that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":569.96,"endTime":571.4,"body":"I hated what you just said to me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":571.5500000000001,"endTime":574.83,"body":"I hated what you just said to, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":571.5500000000001,"endTime":574.83,"body":"know, about my partner or my friend."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":574.83,"endTime":579.3050000000001,"body":"Or, like you know, I hated that I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":574.83,"endTime":579.3050000000001,"body":"agreed to this term and I don't like it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":579.3950000000001,"endTime":584.715,"body":"And so I know that this is something"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":579.3950000000001,"endTime":584.715,"body":"that Meg and I both very very actively"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":584.715,"endTime":590.173,"body":"talk about our like good girl reforming"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":584.715,"endTime":590.173,"body":"into bad girls because it is true."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":590.2030000000001,"endTime":594.758,"body":"And, and our likability, the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":590.2030000000001,"endTime":594.758,"body":"research around this it's bonkers how"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":594.763,"endTime":600.638,"body":"precarious our likability is around"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":594.763,"endTime":600.638,"body":"compliance and care and free labor."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":600.9680000000001,"endTime":603.998,"body":"And so if anyone wants to go nerd"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":600.9680000000001,"endTime":603.998,"body":"out on the research, there's, there's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":603.998,"endTime":605.888,"body":"amazing studies of what happens."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":605.918,"endTime":610.5980000000001,"body":"I mean, most of it is done in the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":605.918,"endTime":610.5980000000001,"body":"workforce, but you know, if you ask Joan"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":610.5980000000001,"endTime":614.8280000000001,"body":"to bring the cake tomorrow, and if she"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":610.5980000000001,"endTime":614.8280000000001,"body":"says, actually I can't bring the cake"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":614.8280000000001,"endTime":616.8580000000001,"body":"for the birthday party at the staff room."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":617.498,"endTime":621.368,"body":"Her likability is like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":617.498,"endTime":621.368,"body":"obliterated in that act."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":621.5780000000001,"endTime":623.748,"body":"And it doesn't matter what her reason is."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":623.808,"endTime":627.678,"body":"And, you know, a male could say,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":623.808,"endTime":627.678,"body":"I don't, I can't bring the cake."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":627.7080000000001,"endTime":631.7280000000001,"body":"And they could say any reason, like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":627.7080000000001,"endTime":631.7280000000001,"body":"I actually have racketball tonight or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":631.788,"endTime":635.5680000000001,"body":"tonight's game day, or I picked very"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":631.788,"endTime":635.5680000000001,"body":"gendered things, but like literally"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":635.5680000000001,"endTime":638.388,"body":"anything versus Joan could be like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":635.5680000000001,"endTime":638.388,"body":"\"I have to go to the hospital."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":638.388,"endTime":639.258,"body":"My mother's dying.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":639.308,"endTime":642.2280000000001,"body":"And Joan would be like, looked"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":639.308,"endTime":642.2280000000001,"body":"over for a promotion for that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":642.548,"endTime":646.918,"body":"And men can continue to do"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":642.548,"endTime":646.918,"body":"whatever thing they had."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":646.918,"endTime":650.488,"body":"I actually have to pick up the dry"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":646.918,"endTime":650.488,"body":"cleaning before it closes like anything."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":650.668,"endTime":657.268,"body":"And it has no harm to, you know, their,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":650.668,"endTime":657.268,"body":"their likability, their promotion, them,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":657.3280000000001,"endTime":659.398,"body":"how they're viewed as a team player."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":659.548,"endTime":664.553,"body":"And so all of those things like that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":659.548,"endTime":664.553,"body":"is how precarious we sit on that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":664.553,"endTime":669.263,"body":"we can't decline free labor, let"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":664.553,"endTime":669.263,"body":"alone say like, you know, the, the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":669.263,"endTime":672.923,"body":"verbal equivalent of flipping the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":669.263,"endTime":672.923,"body":"table in the, in the staff room."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":672.9530000000001,"endTime":673.3430000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":673.373,"endTime":677.5260000000001,"body":"Like there's no space for us to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":673.373,"endTime":677.5260000000001,"body":"have anything like that come out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":677.5260000000001,"endTime":680.9200000000001,"body":"And I mean, in fact, throughout"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":677.5260000000001,"endTime":680.9200000000001,"body":"history, they did terrible things to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":680.9200000000001,"endTime":682.87,"body":"our bodies, like gave us hysterectomies."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":682.87,"endTime":687.5070000000001,"body":"The word hysteria was rooted because"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":682.87,"endTime":687.5070000000001,"body":"they thought it came from our uterus was"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":687.5070000000001,"endTime":690.687,"body":"this source of, of unreasonable rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":690.7170000000001,"endTime":696.042,"body":"And so when we were, you know, put"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":690.7170000000001,"endTime":696.042,"body":"into these terrible institutions"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":696.042,"endTime":699.3420000000001,"body":"because we expressed our emotions"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":696.042,"endTime":699.3420000000001,"body":"or we cried, or we got mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":699.522,"endTime":701.952,"body":"They either took out our uterus"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":699.522,"endTime":701.952,"body":"or they gave us a lobotomy."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":702.037,"endTime":707.8570000000001,"body":"And so like, we have been systematically"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":702.037,"endTime":707.8570000000001,"body":"deprogrammed to have the full range of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":707.8570000000001,"endTime":712.84,"body":"emotions which I think leads us to a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":707.8570000000001,"endTime":712.84,"body":"really important question around like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":713.375,"endTime":717.725,"body":"you know, what, what happened here that we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":713.375,"endTime":717.725,"body":"have this range where there's quote good"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":717.725,"endTime":720.3050000000001,"body":"emotions and there's quote, bad emotions."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":720.575,"endTime":725.3720000000001,"body":"I think in part of our, I"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":720.575,"endTime":725.3720000000001,"body":"guess we could say invitation"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":725.542,"endTime":730.272,"body":"to reconnect with your anger"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":725.542,"endTime":730.272,"body":"and reconnect with that emotion."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":730.3420000000001,"endTime":734.032,"body":"Some unlearning will be involved"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":730.3420000000001,"endTime":734.032,"body":"and, and I think an important"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":734.032,"endTime":738.6220000000001,"body":"part of that is remembering that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":734.032,"endTime":738.6220000000001,"body":"all emotions are legitimate."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":738.9720000000001,"endTime":740.682,"body":"All emotions are neutral."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":740.682,"endTime":744.647,"body":"There isn't any morality attached"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":740.682,"endTime":744.647,"body":"to anything that we feel."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":744.947,"endTime":748.9970000000001,"body":"And there's actually a lot"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":744.947,"endTime":748.9970000000001,"body":"of value in connecting to and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":749.1170000000001,"endTime":752.9730000000001,"body":"experiencing and expressing anger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":752.9730000000001,"endTime":758.726,"body":"There's a really excellent"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":752.9730000000001,"endTime":758.726,"body":"book called Rage Becomes Her."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":758.7860000000001,"endTime":759.566,"body":"Mm mm."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":760.3810000000001,"endTime":761.861,"body":"And did you read that?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":762.6410000000001,"endTime":763.8710000000001,"body":"No, I read Good and Mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":763.8710000000001,"endTime":765.341,"body":"They came out literally the same time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":765.3710000000001,"endTime":768.671,"body":"And do you know what is really funny"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":765.3710000000001,"endTime":768.671,"body":"about this is they're very similar"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":768.671,"endTime":772.811,"body":"looking books and the New York times,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":768.671,"endTime":772.811,"body":"as well as somebody else, whoever"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":772.811,"endTime":776.831,"body":"reviewed it, literally put the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":772.811,"endTime":776.831,"body":"identical quotes for them being like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":776.8910000000001,"endTime":779.291,"body":"good job women talking about anger."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":779.351,"endTime":781.451,"body":"And they're the exact same"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":779.351,"endTime":781.451,"body":"quotes on the front of the books"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":781.451,"endTime":782.681,"body":"that came out at the same time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":782.861,"endTime":786.851,"body":"You know, when Trump existed in"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":782.861,"endTime":786.851,"body":"our faces at an extreme level."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":787.061,"endTime":791.774,"body":"And so Amy read  Rage Becomes"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":787.061,"endTime":791.774,"body":"Her and I read Good and Mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":792.014,"endTime":795.764,"body":"They're very similar books of the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":792.014,"endTime":795.764,"body":"fuel of rage and what it can do."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":795.8240000000001,"endTime":796.224,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":796.224,"endTime":799.331,"body":"Soraya Chemaly is the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":796.224,"endTime":799.331,"body":"author of Rage Becomes Her."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":799.421,"endTime":805.0310000000001,"body":"And I actually read another book"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":799.421,"endTime":805.0310000000001,"body":"by Brittney Cooper called Eloquent"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":805.0310000000001,"endTime":808.691,"body":"Rage and all three of those"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":805.0310000000001,"endTime":808.691,"body":"books came out in the same year."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":809.0210000000001,"endTime":809.1410000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":809.1410000000001,"endTime":810.431,"body":"We had a lot of shit to be mad about."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":810.461,"endTime":810.9110000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":810.971,"endTime":814.091,"body":"Prompted largely by 20, the 2016 election."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":814.181,"endTime":814.421,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":814.481,"endTime":814.7810000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":814.8870000000001,"endTime":819.897,"body":"But in this book, Rage Becomes Her,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":814.8870000000001,"endTime":819.897,"body":"she actually talks about how anger is a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":819.897,"endTime":826.907,"body":"signal emotion and it warns of things like"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":819.897,"endTime":826.907,"body":"threats and insult and harm and indignity."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":826.907,"endTime":831.9110000000001,"body":"And I would add to that, that anger is"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":826.907,"endTime":831.9110000000001,"body":"actually a signal of boundary violations."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":831.9110000000001,"endTime":833.7940000000001,"body":"And that anger is helpful for us."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":833.7940000000001,"endTime":838.654,"body":"It's a messenger and it's there to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":833.7940000000001,"endTime":838.654,"body":"present us with vital information"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":838.654,"endTime":843.4540000000001,"body":"on our safety and our wellbeing and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":838.654,"endTime":843.4540000000001,"body":"connected to that is our intuition."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":843.4540000000001,"endTime":849.029,"body":"And that is something that I think"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":843.4540000000001,"endTime":849.029,"body":"historically we have been taught"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":849.029,"endTime":853.769,"body":"not to trust and not to rely on,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":849.029,"endTime":853.769,"body":"even though it's deeply connected"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":853.769,"endTime":856.109,"body":"to us, it's inherent within us."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":856.1990000000001,"endTime":858.629,"body":"And it does provide a lot"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":856.1990000000001,"endTime":858.629,"body":"of important information"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":858.749,"endTime":861.509,"body":"I would actually"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":858.749,"endTime":861.509,"body":"call it women's superpower."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":861.5390000000001,"endTime":861.839,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":862.244,"endTime":867.7940000000001,"body":"Because we know, like we know"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":862.244,"endTime":867.7940000000001,"body":"our body sends us all the signals."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":867.9440000000001,"endTime":869.1740000000001,"body":"Don't go down there."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":869.4140000000001,"endTime":871.034,"body":"Don't send your kid to that party."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":871.244,"endTime":873.4340000000001,"body":"I don't actually like this babysitter."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":873.498,"endTime":876.3480000000001,"body":"Like, you know, it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":873.498,"endTime":876.3480000000001,"body":"feel right to go out tonight."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":876.9780000000001,"endTime":878.4780000000001,"body":"I, whatever the thing is."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":878.4830000000001,"endTime":878.538,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":878.628,"endTime":883.278,"body":"Like big and small, like big and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":878.628,"endTime":883.278,"body":"small, like, should I cut bangs?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":883.4580000000001,"endTime":885.048,"body":"Like we get the signal"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":885.048,"endTime":885.988,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":885.048,"endTime":885.988,"body":"Amy: No, no, no."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":885.993,"endTime":886.495,"body":"Don't do it!"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":886.495,"endTime":887.875,"body":"We get the signal."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":888.1450000000001,"endTime":891.975,"body":"And we have been"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":888.1450000000001,"endTime":891.975,"body":"programmed to override it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":892.0350000000001,"endTime":895.3050000000001,"body":"And I know every time I'm like I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":892.0350000000001,"endTime":895.3050000000001,"body":"got all the signals, what happened"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":895.3050000000001,"endTime":900.48,"body":"and I'm deeply reconnecting that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":895.3050000000001,"endTime":900.48,"body":"connection back to my intuition."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":900.48,"endTime":903.72,"body":"It's literally the mission of Bebo Mia is"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":900.48,"endTime":903.72,"body":"to connect you to your intrinsic value and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":903.72,"endTime":908.561,"body":"power .  Because we're unfuckable with,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":903.72,"endTime":908.561,"body":"as long as we are standing in our power,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":908.561,"endTime":912.611,"body":"cuz we'll just be like, oh actually, no,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":908.561,"endTime":912.611,"body":"I, I can't drop that off because we'll"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":912.611,"endTime":916.2710000000001,"body":"just know, like, we actually can't do"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":912.611,"endTime":916.2710000000001,"body":"that for whatever reason, some for big"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":916.2710000000001,"endTime":919.541,"body":"safety things and some are just like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":916.2710000000001,"endTime":919.541,"body":"that's not in service of me right now."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":920.1410000000001,"endTime":923.4110000000001,"body":"But instead we put weird rules around"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":920.1410000000001,"endTime":923.4110000000001,"body":"it and then they usually end up"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":923.4110000000001,"endTime":927.221,"body":"being misguided and self, like people"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":923.4110000000001,"endTime":927.221,"body":"experience them as selfish because they"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":927.221,"endTime":930.9110000000001,"body":"come out of like in weird places, cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":927.221,"endTime":930.9110000000001,"body":"you're like, oh right, I'm choosing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":930.9110000000001,"endTime":933.921,"body":"me or I'm gonna listen to the things"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":930.9110000000001,"endTime":933.921,"body":"or do the things I don't wanna do."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":933.9720000000001,"endTime":937.212,"body":"But because it's inconsistent, it's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":933.9720000000001,"endTime":937.212,"body":"hard for the folks around us to like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":937.2170000000001,"endTime":941.9820000000001,"body":"find the pattern versus, you know,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":937.2170000000001,"endTime":941.9820000000001,"body":"Amy's does this very, very well."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":941.9820000000001,"endTime":943.8720000000001,"body":"And so when she's like, oh no, not today."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":944.142,"endTime":945.3720000000001,"body":"I'm not like, \"Oh that's weird."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":945.3720000000001,"endTime":946.517,"body":"Cuz last time you let me.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":946.8870000000001,"endTime":948.927,"body":"She would've said the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":946.8870000000001,"endTime":948.927,"body":"same thing every time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":948.9870000000001,"endTime":951.087,"body":"So I'm not like, it feels very clear."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":951.087,"endTime":952.197,"body":"There's nothing punitive."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":952.197,"endTime":955.827,"body":"And it's just like, no, Amy just knows"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":952.197,"endTime":955.827,"body":"what's up with her body and her choices."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":955.8530000000001,"endTime":957.792,"body":"Versus when people are trying"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":955.8530000000001,"endTime":957.792,"body":"it on, it can feel a bit"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":957.792,"endTime":958.812,"body":"clunky for folks around you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":958.812,"endTime":961.5120000000001,"body":"So they, they might not love"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":958.812,"endTime":961.5120000000001,"body":"it, but it's your superpower."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":962.952,"endTime":966.642,"body":"It's, it's built in because we are"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":962.952,"endTime":966.642,"body":"the protectors and we're dependents"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":966.642,"endTime":970.422,"body":"and we're vulnerable and we care"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":966.642,"endTime":970.422,"body":"for other vulnerable people."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":970.427,"endTime":970.822,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":971.2320000000001,"endTime":971.712,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":971.922,"endTime":972.3720000000001,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":972.462,"endTime":978.6120000000001,"body":"And so I think in, you know, welcoming"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":972.462,"endTime":978.6120000000001,"body":"anger in, you're also welcoming in a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":978.6120000000001,"endTime":983.802,"body":"reconnection to your intuition and to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":978.6120000000001,"endTime":983.802,"body":"your superpower, which then allows you to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":983.802,"endTime":986.172,"body":"feel more confident in your own decisions."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":986.172,"endTime":988.9920000000001,"body":"It cultivates your own self trust."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":988.9970000000001,"endTime":994.4820000000001,"body":"Like there really are, I think so many"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":988.9970000000001,"endTime":994.4820000000001,"body":"benefits to making that connection"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":994.4820000000001,"endTime":1000.182,"body":"and really trusting in yourself and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":994.4820000000001,"endTime":1000.182,"body":"trusting that  you can express and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1000.182,"endTime":1005.672,"body":"communicate anger in safe and healthy"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1000.182,"endTime":1005.672,"body":"ways that actually are in service to you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1006.3620000000001,"endTime":1007.662,"body":"Now, spoiler alert."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1008.057,"endTime":1012.017,"body":"Most of us haven't had the opportunity"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1008.057,"endTime":1012.017,"body":"to express our anger in anyway."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1012.1070000000001,"endTime":1014.9870000000001,"body":"And so it comes out real"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1012.1070000000001,"endTime":1014.9870000000001,"body":"sideways most of the time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1014.9870000000001,"endTime":1017.6270000000001,"body":"And as you're doing this work, if you're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1014.9870000000001,"endTime":1017.6270000000001,"body":"like, you know what, I'm gonna clear"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1017.6320000000001,"endTime":1019.547,"body":"out this backlog and then like catch up."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1019.7270000000001,"endTime":1022.457,"body":"We do have that backlog that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1019.7270000000001,"endTime":1022.457,"body":"needs to be cleared out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1022.457,"endTime":1022.517,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1022.7570000000001,"endTime":1023.207,"body":"So."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1023.417,"endTime":1028.2069999999999,"body":"We know we have this backlog because you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1023.417,"endTime":1028.2069999999999,"body":"probably pop off at very weird things."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1028.627,"endTime":1031.937,"body":"It's not about the fact that your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1028.627,"endTime":1031.937,"body":"partner burned the spaghetti or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1031.937,"endTime":1036.467,"body":"that you like misplaced one of your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1031.937,"endTime":1036.467,"body":"earrings or, you know, the many"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1036.467,"endTime":1040.727,"body":"things that Instagram post, or like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1036.467,"endTime":1040.727,"body":"how somebody showed up in a TV show."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1040.907,"endTime":1046.637,"body":"But like, I know when I'm not clearing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1040.907,"endTime":1046.637,"body":"out my anger backlog of like, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1046.637,"endTime":1051.356,"body":"know, the things that I can control, it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1046.637,"endTime":1051.356,"body":"comes out real big and I'll like, lose"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1051.356,"endTime":1054.446,"body":"my mind over something, and they're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1051.356,"endTime":1054.446,"body":"like, oh, I don't think that's about my"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1054.446,"endTime":1056.576,"body":"charger being moved from next to my bed."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1057.536,"endTime":1061.826,"body":"I'm gonna venture a guess that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1057.536,"endTime":1061.826,"body":"something else is happening here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1062.336,"endTime":1068.756,"body":"So as we do this, I think it's important"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1062.336,"endTime":1068.756,"body":"that we do some of that, like getting"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1068.756,"endTime":1071.916,"body":"to the root of what is happening."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1071.936,"endTime":1077.666,"body":"So it's not about the charger,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1071.936,"endTime":1077.666,"body":"but if I take a beat and follow"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1077.666,"endTime":1079.826,"body":"that string back to the big ball."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1080.366,"endTime":1084.506,"body":"I can say, like that actually felt like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1080.366,"endTime":1084.506,"body":"something, you know, it's usually my"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1084.506,"endTime":1088.796,"body":"teen that does it, that she took it out"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1084.506,"endTime":1088.796,"body":"and we still haven't cleaned up last"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1088.8010000000002,"endTime":1093.656,"body":"night's disagreement about, you know,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1088.8010000000002,"endTime":1093.656,"body":"whatever teen shit and that I'm feeling"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1093.661,"endTime":1097.781,"body":"really unsupported in the parenting"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1093.661,"endTime":1097.781,"body":"journey because I don't have any"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1097.781,"endTime":1100.031,"body":"other support except my chosen family."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1100.031,"endTime":1103.8110000000001,"body":"And that makes me really angry that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1100.031,"endTime":1103.8110000000001,"body":"everybody who shares genetic material"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1103.8110000000001,"endTime":1105.911,"body":"with my teen has failed us both."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1106.241,"endTime":1110.411,"body":"And so, you know, that's actually what"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1106.241,"endTime":1110.411,"body":"it's about and I have to do that and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1110.411,"endTime":1115.001,"body":"then direct it to the right person or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1110.411,"endTime":1115.001,"body":"the right people, even if I can actually"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1115.001,"endTime":1116.771,"body":"be in relationship with those people."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1116.891,"endTime":1120.731,"body":"But to be like, I'm actually really,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1116.891,"endTime":1120.731,"body":"really mad here that we've been failed."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1121.4360000000001,"endTime":1125.156,"body":"And yet people still tout"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1121.4360000000001,"endTime":1125.156,"body":"the family organization as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1125.156,"endTime":1126.356,"body":"this like really great thing."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1126.356,"endTime":1128.646,"body":"And it's really just"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1126.356,"endTime":1128.646,"body":"another system failing us."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1128.9660000000001,"endTime":1130.726,"body":"So that's what it's about."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1131.1860000000001,"endTime":1133.5510000000002,"body":"Not the phone charger getting moved."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1134.0510000000002,"endTime":1135.5810000000001,"body":"Even though that's mad, annoying."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1135.701,"endTime":1135.971,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1135.971,"endTime":1136.271,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1136.271,"endTime":1137.261,"body":"Yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1137.261,"endTime":1139.8410000000001,"body":"But maybe not worth the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1137.261,"endTime":1139.8410000000001,"body":"like blow up, you know?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1139.991,"endTime":1140.381,"body":"No, no."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1140.461,"endTime":1143.971,"body":"Yeah, and I think, you know,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1140.461,"endTime":1143.971,"body":"spending time and we talk a lot"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1143.971,"endTime":1148.1760000000002,"body":"on this channel and I talk a lot"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1143.971,"endTime":1148.1760000000002,"body":"in my own work about curiosity."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1148.4460000000001,"endTime":1151.536,"body":"And so really inviting in that curiosity."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1151.582,"endTime":1156.862,"body":"And I think, you know, the entire process"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1151.582,"endTime":1156.862,"body":"of even reconnecting to your own anger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1156.883,"endTime":1161.13,"body":"It's a process because a lot of"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1156.883,"endTime":1161.13,"body":"us, as Bianca said have a lot of"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1161.135,"endTime":1165.96,"body":"unexpressed anger, and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1161.135,"endTime":1165.96,"body":"the it's unexpressed because we are"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1165.96,"endTime":1171.27,"body":"mislabeling it because it's a lot more"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1165.96,"endTime":1171.27,"body":"acceptable to say \"I'm frustrated\" or"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1171.43,"endTime":1177.01,"body":"\"I'm annoyed\" than it is to say I'm"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1171.43,"endTime":1177.01,"body":"fucking seething because of X, Y, and Z."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1177.3400000000001,"endTime":1182.98,"body":"And so I think with the curiosity,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1177.3400000000001,"endTime":1182.98,"body":"the first step is naming it, like"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1182.98,"endTime":1186.94,"body":"actually naming your feelings and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1182.98,"endTime":1186.94,"body":"saying I'm really mad right now."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1187.15,"endTime":1191.1100000000001,"body":"And then taking it to the next step of"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1187.15,"endTime":1191.1100000000001,"body":"like, okay, what's the root of this?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1191.1100000000001,"endTime":1192.55,"body":"It's not about the charger."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1192.82,"endTime":1193.6000000000001,"body":"That's clear."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1193.81,"endTime":1196.3300000000002,"body":"So where is this actually coming from?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1196.69,"endTime":1199.03,"body":"Where do I need to like, clear that out?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1199.035,"endTime":1205.3600000000001,"body":"Where do I need to actually appropriately"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1199.035,"endTime":1205.3600000000001,"body":"name and direct my feelings and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1205.9,"endTime":1207.91,"body":"acknowledging that entire process."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1207.91,"endTime":1208.21,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1208.21,"endTime":1212.47,"body":"Because sometimes those things happen"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1208.21,"endTime":1212.47,"body":"so quickly that we just skim over it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1213.22,"endTime":1214.9650000000001,"body":"And then it's all just in our bodies."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1215.015,"endTime":1218.125,"body":"Unprocessed, unaddressed."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1218.185,"endTime":1222.145,"body":"And that's when the suffering comes in"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1218.185,"endTime":1222.145,"body":"and that's when the sickness cup comes in."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1222.175,"endTime":1222.4750000000001,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1222.4750000000001,"endTime":1226.7350000000001,"body":"Like it becomes emotional distress,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1222.4750000000001,"endTime":1226.7350000000001,"body":"which becomes disease and illness."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1226.845,"endTime":1228.895,"body":"And there's so much research on that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1229.195,"endTime":1229.328,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1229.357,"endTime":1233.557,"body":"And also anger is, is"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1229.357,"endTime":1233.557,"body":"like easier to access."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1233.647,"endTime":1236.077,"body":"And y'all, we have so"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1233.647,"endTime":1236.077,"body":"much to be angry about."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1236.077,"endTime":1240.367,"body":"Like watch the media, like the fact"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1236.077,"endTime":1240.367,"body":"that folks who identify as women cannot"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1240.367,"endTime":1244.9270000000001,"body":"safely move through physical space on"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1240.367,"endTime":1244.9270000000001,"body":"this planet without the constant hum of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1244.932,"endTime":1249.6970000000001,"body":"like anybody could do bad things to my"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1244.932,"endTime":1249.6970000000001,"body":"body and to my being and to my children."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1249.9370000000001,"endTime":1253.357,"body":"Like it's, that's always just as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1249.9370000000001,"endTime":1253.357,"body":"an underlying thing, which would"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1253.357,"endTime":1257.6570000000002,"body":"be a lot to be mad about, but"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1253.357,"endTime":1257.6570000000002,"body":"we can also access it faster."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1258.037,"endTime":1263.099,"body":"And sometimes like Amy said with naming"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1258.037,"endTime":1263.099,"body":"it under it, it's also like deep grief"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1263.159,"endTime":1266.699,"body":"is shame is sadness is disappointment."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1266.819,"endTime":1270.809,"body":"And like some of those things we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1266.819,"endTime":1270.809,"body":"definitely aren't expressing to ourselves,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1270.814,"endTime":1275.7540000000001,"body":"let alone to safe, trusting people to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1270.814,"endTime":1275.7540000000001,"body":"like, hold you while you experience that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1276.364,"endTime":1280.146,"body":"So, as we talk about what to do with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1276.364,"endTime":1280.146,"body":"the big feelings first I, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1280.146,"endTime":1283.9260000000002,"body":"wanna have a caveat through everything"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1280.146,"endTime":1283.9260000000002,"body":"that we say that it is not, you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1284.496,"endTime":1288.556,"body":"You as the individual, shit, it's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1284.496,"endTime":1288.556,"body":"hard getting through our day."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1288.766,"endTime":1289.476,"body":"It's not your fault."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1289.506,"endTime":1290.766,"body":"It's not your fault."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1290.796,"endTime":1290.856,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1290.916,"endTime":1292.476,"body":"This is the patriarchy failing us."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1292.476,"endTime":1293.886,"body":"This is systems failing us."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1293.886,"endTime":1296.346,"body":"This is like, this is happening to us."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1296.406,"endTime":1299.886,"body":"And so this is part of how we can"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1296.406,"endTime":1299.886,"body":"have a reclamation of our power, but"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1299.886,"endTime":1301.896,"body":"first we need to hold that with you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1302.106,"endTime":1307.146,"body":"Is that like, we see you and we love"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1302.106,"endTime":1307.146,"body":"you and you deserve calm and peace"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1307.146,"endTime":1309.276,"body":"and celebration and love and joy."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1309.4560000000001,"endTime":1313.746,"body":"And most of us don't even have the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1309.4560000000001,"endTime":1313.746,"body":"bandwidth to access that because we have"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1313.746,"endTime":1315.685,"body":"a lot of stimulus in our home lives."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1315.685,"endTime":1317.325,"body":"You know, and what's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1315.685,"endTime":1317.325,"body":"happening on the world."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1317.325,"endTime":1321.045,"body":"So we can't talk ourselves out"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1317.325,"endTime":1321.045,"body":"of our feelings and that's where"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1321.045,"endTime":1322.265,"body":"a lot of the suffering comes in."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1322.595,"endTime":1326.835,"body":"Like, you're probably really mad"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1322.595,"endTime":1326.835,"body":"at the other people who are the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1326.835,"endTime":1328.545,"body":"genetic material of your children."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1328.545,"endTime":1332.6580000000001,"body":"So when we're talking about a cis-het"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1328.545,"endTime":1332.6580000000001,"body":"context you know, dads and husbands"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1332.6580000000001,"endTime":1334.098,"body":"are really disappointing women."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1334.1280000000002,"endTime":1335.928,"body":"There's a million books right now."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1335.958,"endTime":1337.218,"body":"This is not anecdotal."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1337.218,"endTime":1341.621,"body":"This is not in our experience, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1337.218,"endTime":1341.621,"body":"know, as a couple of dykes . But we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1341.621,"endTime":1345.191,"body":"had boyfriends before I was married"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1341.621,"endTime":1345.191,"body":"for a couple months to a male"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1345.971,"endTime":1346.031,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1345.971,"endTime":1346.031,"body":"Amy: Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1346.108,"endTime":1349.8880000000001,"body":"So like, you know, we know"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1346.108,"endTime":1349.8880000000001,"body":"what those situations look like."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1349.948,"endTime":1352.528,"body":"I, you know, I work with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1349.948,"endTime":1352.528,"body":"clients having their babies and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1352.5330000000001,"endTime":1353.818,"body":"I see really awesome things."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1353.818,"endTime":1358.088,"body":"And then these babies come and the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1353.818,"endTime":1358.088,"body":"whole thing comes down and rage"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1358.088,"endTime":1361.6580000000001,"body":"starts and there's like the, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1358.088,"endTime":1361.6580000000001,"body":"know, the free labor and motherhood."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1361.6580000000001,"endTime":1365.258,"body":"And like, this is all the things we're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1361.6580000000001,"endTime":1365.258,"body":"gonna be exploring in season one, starting"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1365.258,"endTime":1371.153,"body":"in September  but like we do wanna hold"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1365.258,"endTime":1371.153,"body":"that the only way we can start doing this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1371.153,"endTime":1375.353,"body":"work is if we're not in constant anger"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1371.153,"endTime":1375.353,"body":"stimulus, and for most people, when they"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1375.353,"endTime":1381.353,"body":"walk in their door from working in or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1375.353,"endTime":1381.353,"body":"out of the home paid or unpaid or both,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1381.353,"endTime":1386.057,"body":"or all of the above you know, we have"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1381.353,"endTime":1386.057,"body":"more of that stimulus that is causing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1386.057,"endTime":1388.4270000000001,"body":"that rage leaning to leading to burnout."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1388.6570000000002,"endTime":1391.267,"body":"Leading to sickness,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1388.6570000000002,"endTime":1391.267,"body":"like all of those things."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1391.4470000000001,"endTime":1395.617,"body":"So we do wanna flag that like really,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1391.4470000000001,"endTime":1395.617,"body":"the only way we can do it is when we're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1395.617,"endTime":1399.747,"body":"building these safe, loving bubbles, that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1395.617,"endTime":1399.747,"body":"we can have a pause from that stimulus."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1400.4170000000001,"endTime":1404.797,"body":"And, and so we have to have a place"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1400.4170000000001,"endTime":1404.797,"body":"where we can like pause the rage"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1404.8020000000001,"endTime":1408.607,"body":"feeling, and that can be really hard to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1404.8020000000001,"endTime":1408.607,"body":"cultivate, but we promise there's people"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1408.607,"endTime":1412.777,"body":"out there that are also looking for"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1408.607,"endTime":1412.777,"body":"places that are safe, loving bubbles,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1412.987,"endTime":1414.887,"body":"to have a pause for the burnout."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1415.127,"endTime":1419.6570000000002,"body":"And we wanna give a huge hat tip here to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1415.127,"endTime":1419.6570000000002,"body":"the Nagoski sisters, Emily and Amelia."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1419.807,"endTime":1423.587,"body":"They're doing beautiful work"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1419.807,"endTime":1423.587,"body":"around the book burnout, and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1423.707,"endTime":1424.9370000000001,"body":"we can't say enough about it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1424.9370000000001,"endTime":1426.707,"body":"It's all based in research."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1426.767,"endTime":1430.877,"body":"And it like really truly understand,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1426.767,"endTime":1430.877,"body":"like, give some more context and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1430.882,"endTime":1433.47,"body":"understanding this as well as the book."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1433.5140000000001,"endTime":1433.9940000000001,"body":"All the rage?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1434.0240000000001,"endTime":1434.7440000000001,"body":"All the rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1434.7440000000001,"endTime":1435.044,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1435.044,"endTime":1437.384,"body":"That that's the other"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1435.044,"endTime":1437.384,"body":"one also really powerful."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1437.384,"endTime":1438.434,"body":"It has the research."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1438.644,"endTime":1441.644,"body":"If you have a husband, we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1438.644,"endTime":1441.644,"body":"encourage him to read it just to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1441.644,"endTime":1442.9940000000001,"body":"like start getting that context."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1443.144,"endTime":1446.054,"body":"And we obviously in your, in the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1443.144,"endTime":1446.054,"body":"relationships you've chosen to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1446.054,"endTime":1449.2340000000002,"body":"cultivate right now, we hope those are"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1446.054,"endTime":1449.2340000000002,"body":"the places that you can start working"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1449.2340000000002,"endTime":1450.7740000000001,"body":"to have those safe, loving bubbles."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1450.814,"endTime":1456.604,"body":"But like, we need, need, need to do that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1450.814,"endTime":1456.604,"body":"so that we can finally be like, wow,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1456.604,"endTime":1458.284,"body":"I'm feeling a lot of shame about this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1458.284,"endTime":1462.094,"body":"But like, we can't do it if we're still"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1458.284,"endTime":1462.094,"body":"mad about the socks on the floor and that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1462.094,"endTime":1465.5140000000001,"body":"the kids aren't ready for bed, and that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1462.094,"endTime":1465.5140000000001,"body":"you've had to ask permission to leave"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1465.724,"endTime":1469.384,"body":"once this week and it didn't work out"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1465.724,"endTime":1469.384,"body":"and you got text messages the whole time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1469.624,"endTime":1473.374,"body":"You tried to go do something"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1469.624,"endTime":1473.374,"body":"outside the home of where's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1473.374,"endTime":1474.394,"body":"this, and they're not sleeping."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1474.394,"endTime":1475.5040000000001,"body":"And I don't know how to do this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1475.568,"endTime":1478.718,"body":"If you don't have this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1475.568,"endTime":1478.718,"body":"lived experience awesome."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1479.108,"endTime":1482.6480000000001,"body":"Please support your people around"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1479.108,"endTime":1482.6480000000001,"body":"you that you love so they too can go"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1482.6480000000001,"endTime":1484.568,"body":"through this awesome thing you've built."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1484.748,"endTime":1489.698,"body":"This is a shout out to Meg and Max"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1484.748,"endTime":1489.698,"body":"who are doing this beautifully and a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1489.698,"endTime":1493.928,"body":"shout out to Michelle and Robert who"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1489.698,"endTime":1493.928,"body":"are doing this beautifully and, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1493.928,"endTime":1497.228,"body":"know, spread the word so other people"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1493.928,"endTime":1497.228,"body":"can have this experience that you have."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1498.078,"endTime":1500.588,"body":"Okay, amy, what can we do with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1498.078,"endTime":1500.588,"body":"some of these big feelings?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1500.6480000000001,"endTime":1501.098,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1501.3980000000001,"endTime":1504.4080000000001,"body":"Well, I think naming it is a start."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1504.428,"endTime":1508.508,"body":"I think what you're saying around"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1504.428,"endTime":1508.508,"body":"cultivating safe spaces with your"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1508.508,"endTime":1513.983,"body":"people and talking about these"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1508.508,"endTime":1513.983,"body":"things, my guess is,  when you"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1513.983,"endTime":1518.5430000000001,"body":"start these conversations, you will"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1513.983,"endTime":1518.5430000000001,"body":"probably uncover a lot of unexpressed"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1518.5430000000001,"endTime":1520.343,"body":"and unaddressed, anger, and rage."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1521.0330000000001,"endTime":1521.819,"body":"And it's helpful."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1521.819,"endTime":1523.049,"body":"It's helpful to connect."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1523.049,"endTime":1527.945,"body":"It's helpful to feel less alone in these"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1523.049,"endTime":1527.945,"body":"experiences and actually cultivate a safe"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1527.945,"endTime":1532.835,"body":"space where you can talk about it and not"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1527.945,"endTime":1532.835,"body":"feel judged and not feel like your mental"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1532.835,"endTime":1536.525,"body":"health is being questioned, cuz you're"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1532.835,"endTime":1536.525,"body":"raging at your partner because of the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1536.525,"endTime":1538.635,"body":"socks or because of the kids or whatever."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1538.9850000000001,"endTime":1543.618,"body":"Mm-hmm . And in addition to that, there"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1538.9850000000001,"endTime":1543.618,"body":"are a lot of evidence based things."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1543.618,"endTime":1548.208,"body":"And within the book Burnout, which we"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1543.618,"endTime":1548.208,"body":"both love very much and highly recommend"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1548.208,"endTime":1553.574,"body":"you checkout, they talk about seven"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1548.208,"endTime":1553.574,"body":"quick evidence-based things that you"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1553.574,"endTime":1556.574,"body":"can do to complete the stress cycle."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1556.604,"endTime":1559.784,"body":"And we wanna really name this"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1556.604,"endTime":1559.784,"body":"as a stress cycle, right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1559.784,"endTime":1564.674,"body":"Like I think we forget sometimes"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1559.784,"endTime":1564.674,"body":"that stress is a physiological event"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1564.704,"endTime":1565.9840000000002,"body":"that's happening in our bodies."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1566.384,"endTime":1569.444,"body":"And so we need to complete it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1569.444,"endTime":1573.044,"body":"And when we don't complete it,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1569.444,"endTime":1573.044,"body":"all of that stuff just lingers."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1573.074,"endTime":1574.184,"body":"And so."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1574.724,"endTime":1578.723,"body":"Some of the ways that they talk"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1574.724,"endTime":1578.723,"body":"about include things like movement"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1579.063,"endTime":1582.733,"body":"and that doesn't need to be"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1579.063,"endTime":1582.733,"body":"signing up to train for a marathon."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1582.733,"endTime":1585.7530000000002,"body":"It could be having like a dance"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1582.733,"endTime":1585.7530000000002,"body":"party that could be running around"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1585.7530000000002,"endTime":1587.103,"body":"in the backyard with your kids."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1587.108,"endTime":1591.0030000000002,"body":"That could be a yoga class, that could be"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1587.108,"endTime":1591.0030000000002,"body":"a bike ride, that could be a walk, that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1591.0030000000002,"endTime":1593.163,"body":"could be jumping rope, whatever it is."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1593.163,"endTime":1598.5030000000002,"body":"It could also be a marathon"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1593.163,"endTime":1598.5030000000002,"body":"as Amy and I are reformed marathoners"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1598.653,"endTime":1599.133,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1599.133,"endTime":1599.313,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1599.313,"endTime":1600.153,"body":"I've run a marathon."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1600.153,"endTime":1600.7830000000001,"body":"It was terrible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1600.7830000000001,"endTime":1601.2930000000001,"body":"It was terrible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1601.2930000000001,"endTime":1601.983,"body":"I did five."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1602.2530000000002,"endTime":1603.616,"body":"Yeah, it was terrible."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1603.616,"endTime":1605.105,"body":"So whatever you want, right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1605.105,"endTime":1608.645,"body":"The point is not, this is not"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1605.105,"endTime":1608.645,"body":"about, you know, your peak physical"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1608.65,"endTime":1610.535,"body":"fitness or any of that stuff."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1610.805,"endTime":1616.595,"body":"This is simply about moving energy in your"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1610.805,"endTime":1616.595,"body":"body and giving it an outlet to leave."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1616.6190000000001,"endTime":1617.3600000000001,"body":"Breathing."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1617.435,"endTime":1619.865,"body":"Really helpful, intentional breath, right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1619.865,"endTime":1622.865,"body":"Where you're actually like spending"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1619.865,"endTime":1622.865,"body":"time in your body, following"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1622.865,"endTime":1623.925,"body":"the course of your breath."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1623.925,"endTime":1625.829,"body":"Laughter is a great one."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1625.829,"endTime":1626.3690000000001,"body":"Love that one"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1626.4360000000001,"endTime":1631.942,"body":"Affection, crying, positive social"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1626.4360000000001,"endTime":1631.942,"body":"interactions, which is where the piece"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1631.942,"endTime":1635.902,"body":"around cultivating community and actually"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1631.942,"endTime":1635.902,"body":"having your people that you can call and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1635.902,"endTime":1637.762,"body":"say, I'm fucking mad about this thing."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1637.992,"endTime":1641.5420000000001,"body":"And they're like, yeah, I get why"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1637.992,"endTime":1641.5420000000001,"body":"you would be, I've been there too."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1641.902,"endTime":1643.202,"body":"Onward, you know?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1643.556,"endTime":1647.382,"body":"So yeah, I think those are some"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1643.556,"endTime":1647.382,"body":"of the ways and they're really,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1647.382,"endTime":1649.152,"body":"really helpful and really powerful."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1649.332,"endTime":1654.2820000000002,"body":"And it's, you know, really"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1649.332,"endTime":1654.2820000000002,"body":"important to remember that we need"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1654.287,"endTime":1656.262,"body":"to like complete on this stuff."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1656.262,"endTime":1662.277,"body":"We really, really do because unexpressed,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1656.262,"endTime":1662.277,"body":"anger, again becomes emotional stress."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1662.277,"endTime":1666.421,"body":"It is a physiological process that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1662.277,"endTime":1666.421,"body":"happens in our bodies and when we don't"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1666.421,"endTime":1668.671,"body":"complete it, the stress remains there."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1668.731,"endTime":1671.041,"body":"And then we do get sick down the road."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1671.041,"endTime":1671.5510000000002,"body":"Dr."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1671.556,"endTime":1676.526,"body":"Gabor Maté wrote a really excellent"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1671.556,"endTime":1676.526,"body":"book called When The Body Says No, The"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1676.526,"endTime":1681.266,"body":"Hidden Cost of Stress, which argues that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1676.526,"endTime":1681.266,"body":"emotional stress plays a key role in the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1681.266,"endTime":1686.576,"body":"onset of chronic diseases and illnesses"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1681.266,"endTime":1686.576,"body":"like autoimmune diseases, for example,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1686.726,"endTime":1691.826,"body":"which, and this is not by accident, two"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1686.726,"endTime":1691.826,"body":"thirds of the people who are diagnosed"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1691.826,"endTime":1693.9560000000001,"body":"with autoimmune diseases are women."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1694.376,"endTime":1694.7060000000001,"body":"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1694.886,"endTime":1695.726,"body":"I have one of those."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1696.566,"endTime":1697.046,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1698.4560000000001,"endTime":1699.566,"body":"I'm sorry about that."},{"speaker":"So all of this to say","startTime":1700.316,"endTime":1705.39,"body":"connect with"},{"speaker":"So all of this to say","startTime":1700.316,"endTime":1705.39,"body":"your anger, express it, deal with it."},{"speaker":"So all of this to say","startTime":1705.3990000000001,"endTime":1707.2050000000002,"body":"Deal with the emotional stress"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1707.655,"endTime":1710.7150000000001,"body":"And do it intentionally,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1707.655,"endTime":1710.7150000000001,"body":"which, you know, I know that sounds,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1710.7150000000001,"endTime":1713.4750000000001,"body":"we're just like adding more being"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1710.7150000000001,"endTime":1713.4750000000001,"body":"like express it and do it like this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1713.685,"endTime":1717.945,"body":"But like, I just wanna give a huge"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1713.685,"endTime":1717.945,"body":"shout out to the women I've cultivated."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1717.945,"endTime":1721.035,"body":"And I y'all, I've had like a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1717.945,"endTime":1721.035,"body":"real wild ride to get here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1721.035,"endTime":1723.825,"body":"So it wasn't like I stepped outta"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1721.035,"endTime":1723.825,"body":"high school and found my solid group"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1723.825,"endTime":1724.9950000000001,"body":"of friends and they're still here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1725.2050000000002,"endTime":1729.105,"body":"Like I've had to have some not awesome"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1725.2050000000002,"endTime":1729.105,"body":"relationships and like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1729.105,"endTime":1732.375,"body":"have some bumps and bruises to get"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1729.105,"endTime":1732.375,"body":"to the place where I would say the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1732.405,"endTime":1736.155,"body":"only people in my life, my world"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1732.405,"endTime":1736.155,"body":"is very small and they're amazing."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1736.185,"endTime":1740.565,"body":"And, and the people that you can show"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1736.185,"endTime":1740.565,"body":"up really, honestly, with, so like Amy"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1740.565,"endTime":1744.075,"body":"and I did a power walk this morning, cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1740.565,"endTime":1744.075,"body":"she's visiting out, we call it her country"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1744.0800000000002,"endTime":1747.63,"body":"home cuz she leaves the city of Toronto"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1744.0800000000002,"endTime":1747.63,"body":"and comes to visit me out in the sticks."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1747.72,"endTime":1750.06,"body":"We're sitting side"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1747.72,"endTime":1750.06,"body":"by side recording this."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1750.06,"endTime":1751.0,"body":"It's the best."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1751.266,"endTime":1754.588,"body":"But we were walking and Amy"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1751.266,"endTime":1754.588,"body":"did a thing that she would do to cope"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1754.588,"endTime":1758.758,"body":"any other place on the planet that's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1754.588,"endTime":1758.758,"body":"not with her platonic wife, that's me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1758.7640000000001,"endTime":1760.246,"body":"And said like, well, it's fine."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1760.576,"endTime":1762.976,"body":"And I was like, \"no,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1760.576,"endTime":1762.976,"body":"that wouldn't be fine."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1763.036,"endTime":1763.806,"body":"That would be terrible.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1764.056,"endTime":1765.806,"body":"And she's like, \"yeah, that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1764.056,"endTime":1765.806,"body":"was actually terrible.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1766.366,"endTime":1769.516,"body":"And most of the time in our relationships,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1766.366,"endTime":1769.516,"body":"we let our friends say like, \"It's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1769.521,"endTime":1771.421,"body":"not a big deal\" or \"Do you know what?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1771.421,"endTime":1772.621,"body":"We had a nice day last week."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1772.621,"endTime":1774.0610000000001,"body":"So like, my marriage is alright.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1774.0610000000001,"endTime":1775.261,"body":"Instead of being like, \"Do you know what?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1775.981,"endTime":1777.3310000000001,"body":"It sounds like it's not all right.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1777.391,"endTime":1781.621,"body":"Like, it doesn't mean you jump"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1777.391,"endTime":1781.621,"body":"and give anything to like move"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1781.621,"endTime":1784.411,"body":"them in any direction because"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1781.621,"endTime":1784.411,"body":"that's taking away autonomy."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1784.411,"endTime":1788.791,"body":"We want our friends to, you know, connect"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1784.411,"endTime":1788.791,"body":"to their intuition, but just a place"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1788.791,"endTime":1791.851,"body":"where you can be like, \"that actually"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1788.791,"endTime":1791.851,"body":"sounds really hard,\" or like, \"sounds"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1791.851,"endTime":1794.941,"body":"like motherhood is like, not as awesome"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1791.851,"endTime":1794.941,"body":"as you thought it would be right now.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1794.941,"endTime":1795.721,"body":"And that's okay."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1795.8410000000001,"endTime":1797.041,"body":"It doesn't make you a bad mom."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1797.4460000000001,"endTime":1801.566,"body":"It just means you're having a time as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1797.4460000000001,"endTime":1801.566,"body":"a fill in the blank, sister, employee,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1801.796,"endTime":1805.1860000000001,"body":"mother, friend, daughter, wife, whatever"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1805.276,"endTime":1805.366,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1805.906,"endTime":1809.656,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1805.906,"endTime":1809.656,"body":"Bianca: And so, you know, one of the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1809.656,"endTime":1814.2160000000001,"body":"people to have that space to cultivate"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1809.656,"endTime":1814.2160000000001,"body":"is like give them permission and just"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1814.221,"endTime":1819.346,"body":"like ask a little bit more and like flag"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1814.221,"endTime":1819.346,"body":"those things to be like, oh, actually"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1819.346,"endTime":1824.026,"body":"that would probably I'd feel really"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1819.346,"endTime":1824.026,"body":"upset if I made holiday dinner and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1824.236,"endTime":1826.576,"body":"everyone was late and came inebriated."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1826.666,"endTime":1828.736,"body":"I'd be like, and if they're"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1826.666,"endTime":1828.736,"body":"like, oh, well it was fine."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1828.736,"endTime":1829.606,"body":"Like the food was good."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1829.9660000000001,"endTime":1833.476,"body":"Which is what we do as women to keep"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1829.9660000000001,"endTime":1833.476,"body":"in the likability and to stay in the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1833.476,"endTime":1836.596,"body":"positive quote, good range of emotions."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1836.746,"endTime":1838.246,"body":"She'd be like, are you sure?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1838.306,"endTime":1841.546,"body":"I'd feel really disappointed if that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1838.306,"endTime":1841.546,"body":"happened to me and that's okay if you did."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1841.636,"endTime":1841.786,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1842.086,"endTime":1844.636,"body":"And then it gives them"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1842.086,"endTime":1844.636,"body":"the space to be like \"oh, fuck."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1845.041,"endTime":1848.191,"body":"I've spent all week cooking"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1845.041,"endTime":1848.191,"body":"and it like broke my heart"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1848.191,"endTime":1850.0510000000002,"body":"and they do this every time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1850.201,"endTime":1853.621,"body":"And I keep putting myself forward to be"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1850.201,"endTime":1853.621,"body":"the host house and I'm like really tired"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1853.621,"endTime":1856.501,"body":"of it\" and be like, \"yeah, mm-hmm  yeah.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1856.621,"endTime":1859.681,"body":"And not, so I guess next time"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1856.621,"endTime":1859.681,"body":"you're gonna say no, right?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1859.771,"endTime":1862.861,"body":"Not that just like, \"yeah, that sucks.\""},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1863.041,"endTime":1863.431,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1863.611,"endTime":1868.231,"body":"Hear it, witness it, validate"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1863.611,"endTime":1868.231,"body":"it, whatever the feeling is."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1868.3210000000001,"endTime":1873.0910000000001,"body":"And like,  I say it's fine all the time."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1873.481,"endTime":1875.731,"body":"Also, it's fine is not a feeling."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1875.731,"endTime":1877.531,"body":"So a great follow up question."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1877.531,"endTime":1880.021,"body":"If you also have a friend"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1877.531,"endTime":1880.021,"body":"who's like, \"it's fine.\""},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1880.136,"endTime":1882.086,"body":"Okay, and how do you actually feel?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1882.386,"endTime":1884.536,"body":"How do you feel about what happened?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1885.146,"endTime":1888.476,"body":"Yeah, those are powerful"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1885.146,"endTime":1888.476,"body":"and this will be the first place"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1888.476,"endTime":1892.566,"body":"for most people that they'll be"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1888.476,"endTime":1892.566,"body":"able to get under those feelings."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1892.931,"endTime":1897.8210000000001,"body":"Express that rage cycle move through that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1892.931,"endTime":1897.8210000000001,"body":"tunnel, cuz y'all we gotta go through the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1897.8210000000001,"endTime":1900.851,"body":"whole tunnel of feelings right on through."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1900.971,"endTime":1906.281,"body":"And instead, most of the time"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1900.971,"endTime":1906.281,"body":"we, you know, tell a story about"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1906.281,"endTime":1908.621,"body":"it, which I'm holding compassion."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1908.621,"endTime":1910.941,"body":"That's the most of the ways like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1908.621,"endTime":1910.941,"body":"how we can get through our days."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1911.501,"endTime":1915.371,"body":"To be like, it's fine because we've got"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1911.501,"endTime":1915.371,"body":"15 other things we have to do right now."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1915.401,"endTime":1918.791,"body":"And most of them will elicit a feeling"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1915.401,"endTime":1918.791,"body":"that we have to say it's fine about."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1918.851,"endTime":1923.981,"body":"And we just keep doing it until we fall"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1918.851,"endTime":1923.981,"body":"into bed, hopefully in a safe space."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1924.131,"endTime":1926.141,"body":"But for most of us, not"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1924.131,"endTime":1926.141,"body":"so much even there too."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1926.146,"endTime":1926.231,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1927.0710000000001,"endTime":1929.0810000000001,"body":"So we wanna hold all of this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1929.0810000000001,"endTime":1933.3410000000001,"body":"As you know, your rage is normal,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1929.0810000000001,"endTime":1933.3410000000001,"body":"your rage is healthy and there's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1933.3410000000001,"endTime":1937.151,"body":"ways in service of you that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1933.3410000000001,"endTime":1937.151,"body":"we can be talking about it and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1937.151,"endTime":1938.951,"body":"moving through it and completing."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1939.3110000000001,"endTime":1944.401,"body":"And targeting the people or organizations"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1939.3110000000001,"endTime":1944.401,"body":"or systems that need to change."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1945.701,"endTime":1951.221,"body":"So we have lots of ways that you can"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1945.701,"endTime":1951.221,"body":"join our community as a place to rage or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1951.221,"endTime":1954.461,"body":"to grow magic from those big feelings."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1954.4660000000001,"endTime":1956.951,"body":"Because, you know, we have a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1954.4660000000001,"endTime":1956.951,"body":"global movement that started with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1956.9560000000001,"endTime":1959.0810000000001,"body":"my deep rage pacing my kitchen."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1959.3310000000001,"endTime":1965.306,"body":"And now has grown and it's in, we're in"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1959.3310000000001,"endTime":1965.306,"body":"40 something countries around the world."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1965.4260000000002,"endTime":1968.786,"body":"And there's so many ways that you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1965.4260000000002,"endTime":1968.786,"body":"can hang out with us, both paid"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1968.846,"endTime":1972.026,"body":"and free to be a part of this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1968.846,"endTime":1972.026,"body":"brave and incredible movement."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1972.2060000000001,"endTime":1973.616,"body":"We have continuing education."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1973.616,"endTime":1974.816,"body":"We do book club."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1974.906,"endTime":1976.236,"body":"It's bonkers y'all."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1977.086,"endTime":1978.356,"body":"We do games days."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1978.356,"endTime":1981.266,"body":"We have classes, program"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1978.356,"endTime":1981.266,"body":"certifications and so much more."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1981.416,"endTime":1983.246,"body":"So please check us out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1983.306,"endTime":1986.336,"body":"If you wanna have a place to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1983.306,"endTime":1986.336,"body":"have some of these conversations,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1986.366,"endTime":1987.566,"body":"we would love to have you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1988.421,"endTime":1989.951,"body":"Thank you, Amy for joining us."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1989.951,"endTime":1993.191,"body":"Ah, it's been so, so wonderful."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1993.221,"endTime":1997.121,"body":"I think this topic is just"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1993.221,"endTime":1997.121,"body":"so vital for all of us."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1997.121,"endTime":2001.531,"body":"And you know, on top of anger"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1997.121,"endTime":2001.531,"body":"is healthy and anger is normal."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2001.711,"endTime":2003.481,"body":"Anger is also helpful."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2003.761,"endTime":2006.911,"body":"So it really is just keep that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2003.761,"endTime":2006.911,"body":"little nugget in your back"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2006.911,"endTime":2010.211,"body":"pocket and you have all the Bebo"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2006.911,"endTime":2010.211,"body":"babes here to chat about this."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2010.271,"endTime":2013.8410000000001,"body":"If you wanna talk more about it, this"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2010.271,"endTime":2013.8410000000001,"body":"has been part of our summer sneak"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2013.8410000000001,"endTime":2018.491,"body":"peak Sizzler reel, and we will be"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2013.8410000000001,"endTime":2018.491,"body":"diving into season one in September."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2018.496,"endTime":2019.751,"body":"Thank you for joining us."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2019.8110000000001,"endTime":2020.5610000000001,"body":"And we will see you there."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2025.601,"endTime":2028.391,"body":"If this has lit a"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2025.601,"endTime":2028.391,"body":"fire and now you feel it's time"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2028.391,"endTime":2030.131,"body":"to move, you are not alone."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2030.486,"endTime":2035.136,"body":"We have created a free webinar as a"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2030.486,"endTime":2035.136,"body":"space to inspire and join together"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2035.136,"endTime":2036.816,"body":"within the Bebo Mia community."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2037.476,"endTime":2042.9660000000001,"body":"Text webinar to 5 5 9 3 5 8 4 3 1 2."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2043.266,"endTime":2049.836,"body":"Or go to www.hotandbrave.com to"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2043.266,"endTime":2049.836,"body":"grab your space in the free webinar."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2050.5409999999997,"endTime":2057.0209999999997,"body":"Once again, text webinar"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2050.5409999999997,"endTime":2057.0209999999997,"body":"to 5 5 9 3 5 8 4 3 1 2."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2057.381,"endTime":2062.601,"body":"Or go to www.hotandbrave.Com"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2057.381,"endTime":2062.601,"body":"to grab your spot."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2063.201,"endTime":2065.7709999999997,"body":"We will see you next time"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2063.201,"endTime":2065.7709999999997,"body":"on the Hot+Brave podcast."}]}