{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":60.690000000000005,"endTime":62.790000000000006,"body":"If I say \"no\","},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":60.690000000000005,"endTime":62.790000000000006,"body":"it's not from a hatred place."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":62.790000000000006,"endTime":65.04,"body":"It's from a self preservation."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":65.83,"endTime":68.31,"body":"And that's a skill I had to learn."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":69.03,"endTime":74.16,"body":"Cause I'll say, you know, 2019 and before"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":69.03,"endTime":74.16,"body":"homegirl was saying yes, till I would die."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":74.16,"endTime":77.369,"body":"I'd be like, bare knuckles"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":74.16,"endTime":77.369,"body":"climbing through the forest for"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":77.369,"endTime":78.93,"body":"someone to bring them their water"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":78.93,"endTime":79.08,"body":"bottle."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":79.08,"endTime":81.93,"body":"She's belly crawling like a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":79.08,"endTime":81.93,"body":"soldier y'all you can see her, but"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":81.93,"endTime":83.53,"body":"she's belly crawling like a soldier."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":83.55000000000001,"endTime":86.429,"body":"You know, imagine"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":83.55000000000001,"endTime":86.429,"body":"barbed wire and bombs going up"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":86.429,"endTime":88.38900000000001,"body":"and I'm like, \"I have your bottle!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":88.809,"endTime":89.68900000000001,"body":"Don't worry."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":90.019,"endTime":91.80000000000001,"body":"Teacher here's your gift card."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":92.58000000000001,"endTime":94.41,"body":"Thank you for watching my toddler."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":94.6,"endTime":97.74000000000001,"body":"Oh, you know, and now I'm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":94.6,"endTime":97.74000000000001,"body":"like, here are the kids."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":98.08000000000001,"endTime":99.015,"body":"What's your Venmo?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":99.015,"endTime":99.58500000000001,"body":"Okay, bye."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":102.735,"endTime":106.325,"body":"You are listening to the Hot"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":102.735,"endTime":106.325,"body":"and Brave podcast with Bianca Sprague"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":106.325,"endTime":111.315,"body":"from Bebo Mia, where you hear brave"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":106.325,"endTime":111.315,"body":"stories, hot topics, and truth bombs"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":111.32,"endTime":115.515,"body":"that will either light fire to your rage,"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":111.32,"endTime":115.515,"body":"or be the balm you need for your soul."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":119.774,"endTime":120.524,"body":"Hello, everyone."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":120.524,"endTime":122.964,"body":"Welcome to season one of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":120.524,"endTime":122.964,"body":"the Hot + Brave podcast."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":122.985,"endTime":126.224,"body":"We have been counting down the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":122.985,"endTime":126.224,"body":"days for this season to kick"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":126.224,"endTime":127.845,"body":"off over here at Bebo Mia."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":127.935,"endTime":132.324,"body":"And we are very excited to start"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":127.935,"endTime":132.324,"body":"with an interview we have with Amy C."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":132.325,"endTime":133.695,"body":"Willis and Michelle Cruz."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":133.815,"endTime":136.575,"body":"And we are gonna be talking"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":133.815,"endTime":136.575,"body":"about choosing ourselves."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":136.785,"endTime":140.035,"body":"We've called it \"Choose you\", cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":136.785,"endTime":140.035,"body":"it's kind of like Ralph Wiggum"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":140.085,"endTime":141.345,"body":"\"Choose, choose, choose you.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":141.435,"endTime":142.45499999999998,"body":"We all had a kick outta that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":142.755,"endTime":147.525,"body":"Anyway, we wanted to talk about this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":142.755,"endTime":147.525,"body":"because we have noticed with our students"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":147.525,"endTime":151.60500000000002,"body":"and our alumni, as well as just our fellow"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":147.525,"endTime":151.60500000000002,"body":"birth workers and change makers out in"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":151.60500000000002,"endTime":157.185,"body":"the world that there's this constant"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":151.60500000000002,"endTime":157.185,"body":"struggle of trying to fit in self care"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":157.334,"endTime":160.81,"body":"and not self care in the traditional"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":157.334,"endTime":160.81,"body":"way of manicures and pedicures, if"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":160.81,"endTime":164.92000000000002,"body":"that's part of it, that's cool, but like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":160.81,"endTime":164.92000000000002,"body":"really choosing what we're trying to do."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":164.925,"endTime":168.56,"body":"And we're trying to change the face"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":164.925,"endTime":168.56,"body":"of reproductive health and justice."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":168.67000000000002,"endTime":171.46,"body":"And if you even wanna think of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":168.67000000000002,"endTime":171.46,"body":"like the smaller scale, you wanna"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":171.465,"endTime":174.49,"body":"make sure folks are feeling safe"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":171.465,"endTime":174.49,"body":"as they go through their fertility,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":174.49,"endTime":176.2,"body":"pregnancy and parenting journeys."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":176.44,"endTime":181.70499999999998,"body":"And yet, we are forced to just do"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":176.44,"endTime":181.70499999999998,"body":"this incredible life changing and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":181.70499999999998,"endTime":186.985,"body":"life saving work in our like 15"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":181.70499999999998,"endTime":186.985,"body":"minutes between nap time or trying"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":186.985,"endTime":192.505,"body":"to squeeze it in on our drives to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":186.985,"endTime":192.505,"body":"school meetings and swim lessons."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":192.71499999999997,"endTime":196.85500000000002,"body":"And so we wanted to talk about how can"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":192.71499999999997,"endTime":196.85500000000002,"body":"we be more intentional about choosing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":196.85500000000002,"endTime":202.33499999999998,"body":"ourselves and why this is so so important"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":196.85500000000002,"endTime":202.33499999999998,"body":"and the actual global impact this can make"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":202.64499999999998,"endTime":205.185,"body":"if we start with these little tiny steps."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":205.425,"endTime":207.16500000000002,"body":"So first, hi Michelle."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":207.28500000000003,"endTime":207.945,"body":"Hi Amy."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":208.635,"endTime":208.995,"body":"Hello"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":209.02499999999998,"endTime":209.985,"body":"Oh, hello."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":210.45499999999998,"endTime":210.745,"body":"Hello."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":210.745,"endTime":215.565,"body":"Thank you for jumping on and talking about"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":210.745,"endTime":215.565,"body":"this topic that I know all three of us"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":215.57,"endTime":218.235,"body":"feel very, very, very passionate about"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":219.04500000000002,"endTime":222.22500000000002,"body":"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":219.04500000000002,"endTime":222.22500000000002,"body":"Michelle: Yeah, this, this topic"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":222.22500000000002,"endTime":227.47500000000002,"body":"my life and how I guide my clients"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":222.22500000000002,"endTime":227.47500000000002,"body":"and my friends into there's so"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":227.47500000000002,"endTime":230.02499999999998,"body":"much more than just everybody else."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":230.055,"endTime":230.89499999999998,"body":"You matter."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":231.51,"endTime":235.17000000000002,"body":"I think that phrase gets left"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":231.51,"endTime":235.17000000000002,"body":"behind, like, and Amy knows this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":235.17000000000002,"endTime":239.849,"body":"My huge thing is like, \"you are enough\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":235.17000000000002,"endTime":239.849,"body":"and that plays right into \"choose you.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":240.14999999999998,"endTime":243.24,"body":"Because if you're not valuing yourself,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":240.14999999999998,"endTime":243.24,"body":"you're not gonna choose yourself."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":243.80900000000003,"endTime":245.18900000000002,"body":"You'll choose everybody else."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":245.195,"endTime":247.49900000000002,"body":"And then you're left behind and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":245.195,"endTime":247.49900000000002,"body":"exhausted at the end of the day."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":248.235,"endTime":249.735,"body":"For sure, for sure."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":249.735,"endTime":253.005,"body":"And I, I think Amy is a really"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":249.735,"endTime":253.005,"body":"important voice in this conversation."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":253.33499999999998,"endTime":255.195,"body":"Yes, she is childless."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":255.315,"endTime":260.925,"body":"So it comes from a different perspective"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":255.315,"endTime":260.925,"body":"and she uses it as a critical tool"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":260.925,"endTime":265.095,"body":"to support folks who identify as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":260.925,"endTime":265.095,"body":"women through their sobriety journey."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":265.365,"endTime":273.09,"body":"And so both of the circumstances of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":265.365,"endTime":273.09,"body":"recovery, as well as reproductive"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":273.09,"endTime":277.469,"body":"justice have an element of, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":273.09,"endTime":277.469,"body":"know, your life depends on it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":277.77,"endTime":281.309,"body":"And so, Amy, I'm really glad that you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":277.77,"endTime":281.309,"body":"can come and share some of those tools"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":281.314,"endTime":284.819,"body":"that you would work with your clients,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":281.314,"endTime":284.819,"body":"use while working with your clients."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":285.18,"endTime":290.71,"body":"Um,  and I think it's a really, really"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":285.18,"endTime":290.71,"body":"important, um, different angle that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":290.74,"endTime":293.8,"body":"could potentially have that  you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":290.74,"endTime":293.8,"body":"know, we hear the same information"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":293.8,"endTime":296.02,"body":"a bunch of times and you hear it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":293.8,"endTime":296.02,"body":"one other time from a different way."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":296.02,"endTime":298.659,"body":"And you're like, \"oh,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":296.02,"endTime":298.659,"body":"mm-hmm,  that landed for me\"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":298.96,"endTime":301.24,"body":"So thanks for bringing your wisdom here."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":301.24,"endTime":305.11,"body":"Y'all  I'm excited to be here."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":306.4,"endTime":307.27,"body":"I can't wait to chat."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":307.27,"endTime":308.289,"body":"I love this topic."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":309.1,"endTime":310.09,"body":"Yeah, it's a good one."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":310.15,"endTime":310.75,"body":"It's a good one."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":310.75,"endTime":314.98,"body":"And this made season one,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":310.75,"endTime":314.98,"body":"because it's a source of rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":315.16,"endTime":318.72999999999996,"body":"And for those of you, you might not"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":315.16,"endTime":318.72999999999996,"body":"even identify it as your source of rage."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":318.72999999999996,"endTime":321.31,"body":"And this is something that Amy"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":318.72999999999996,"endTime":321.31,"body":"and I talked about in the summer"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":321.31,"endTime":325.71999999999997,"body":"Sizzler about, um, getting really"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":321.31,"endTime":325.71999999999997,"body":"clear of like why we feel so mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":326.14,"endTime":331.71999999999997,"body":"And so I know, like, I feel angry"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":326.14,"endTime":331.71999999999997,"body":"listening to the people in my life,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":331.71999999999997,"endTime":337.59999999999997,"body":"whether they're students, alumni, um,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":331.71999999999997,"endTime":337.59999999999997,"body":"because I'm like, \"Ooh, that's shitty!"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":338.7,"endTime":340.44,"body":"You're being either"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":338.7,"endTime":340.44,"body":"taken an advantage of!\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":340.44,"endTime":345.96,"body":"Or you need to go rest cuz you're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":340.44,"endTime":345.96,"body":"sick or like, did you just hear that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":345.96,"endTime":349.40999999999997,"body":"you had to like ask for your husband"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":345.96,"endTime":349.40999999999997,"body":"to babysit or something, but it just"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":349.41499999999996,"endTime":352.049,"body":"like rolls off the tongue and it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":349.41499999999996,"endTime":352.049,"body":"just becomes part of the wallpaper."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":352.43899999999996,"endTime":359.005,"body":"Um, so we thought this also might support"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":352.43899999999996,"endTime":359.005,"body":"folks in A) identifying why they're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":359.005,"endTime":364.045,"body":"mad and doing some very, like some of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":359.005,"endTime":364.045,"body":"these changes are really, really simple."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":364.10499999999996,"endTime":368.78499999999997,"body":"They're not always easy, but they"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":364.10499999999996,"endTime":368.78499999999997,"body":"are simple shifts that can, you know,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":368.78499999999997,"endTime":371.815,"body":"you can find a lot of time that you,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":368.78499999999997,"endTime":371.815,"body":"you might even have so much time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":371.815,"endTime":372.865,"body":"You don't even know what to do with it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":373.255,"endTime":374.155,"body":"Could you imagine,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":375.47499999999997,"endTime":377.365,"body":"Oh my God, the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":375.47499999999997,"endTime":377.365,"body":"amount of time would be insane."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":377.365,"endTime":381.685,"body":"I think too, with it being a rage"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":377.365,"endTime":381.685,"body":"source, people are stuffing it down."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":382.075,"endTime":382.22499999999997,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":382.22499999999997,"endTime":384.205,"body":"They're stuffing"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":382.22499999999997,"endTime":384.205,"body":"it down until they explode."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":384.87,"endTime":387.359,"body":"And then that's where like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":384.87,"endTime":387.359,"body":"oh my gosh, that's why I've"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":387.359,"endTime":389.07,"body":"been mad the last 10 years."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":389.49,"endTime":392.15999999999997,"body":"That's why I've been mad"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":389.49,"endTime":392.15999999999997,"body":"and can't sleep at night."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":392.15999999999997,"endTime":395.94,"body":"This is why I feel sick to my stomach"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":392.15999999999997,"endTime":395.94,"body":"at, you know, at XYZ point of the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":395.94,"endTime":399.03,"body":"day mm-hmm  it's cause they they're,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":395.94,"endTime":399.03,"body":"they're so full of rage because"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":399.03499999999997,"endTime":401.669,"body":"they've been putting themselves last."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":401.929,"endTime":402.609,"body":"For sure."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":402.609,"endTime":405.69,"body":"All of the time for"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":402.609,"endTime":405.69,"body":"years on end and being told"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":405.84,"endTime":407.51,"body":"\"that's what you're supposed to do!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":408.21,"endTime":412.68899999999996,"body":"We expect you to be last, no"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":408.21,"endTime":412.68899999999996,"body":"matter what you're going through\"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":412.86899999999997,"endTime":413.02,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":413.34999999999997,"endTime":417.3,"body":"Point in case there are people"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":413.34999999999997,"endTime":417.3,"body":"who have cancer and have other life"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":417.3,"endTime":421.46999999999997,"body":"threatening ailments, and they're like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":417.3,"endTime":421.46999999999997,"body":"\"oh no, I'm still doing these things.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":421.68,"endTime":423.81,"body":"Like you're not taking care of yourself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":423.81,"endTime":425.21999999999997,"body":"You just had chemo go rest."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":426.19,"endTime":427.455,"body":"Go take care of yourself."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":427.695,"endTime":430.425,"body":"These kinds of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":427.695,"endTime":430.425,"body":"scenarios might sound familiar."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":430.425,"endTime":433.755,"body":"So I know I hear all the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":430.425,"endTime":433.755,"body":"time from our students."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":434.145,"endTime":438.16499999999996,"body":"They might have to have a consult with a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":434.145,"endTime":438.16499999999996,"body":"client and in order to take those three"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":438.16499999999996,"endTime":443.41499999999996,"body":"hours on a Thursday evening, they have to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":438.16499999999996,"endTime":443.41499999999996,"body":"make sure dinner is ready ahead of time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":443.635,"endTime":445.015,"body":"The pajamas are laid out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":445.28499999999997,"endTime":448.555,"body":"They've, you know, done all the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":445.28499999999997,"endTime":448.555,"body":"stuff, laid out, done all the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":448.555,"endTime":450.025,"body":"forms, made sure homework's done."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":450.055,"endTime":451.10499999999996,"body":"The lunches are packed."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":451.135,"endTime":453.41499999999996,"body":"They've walked their"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":451.135,"endTime":453.41499999999996,"body":"husbands through all of that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":453.895,"endTime":456.715,"body":"Um, they've like, you know, made"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":453.895,"endTime":456.715,"body":"these promises of what tomorrow"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":456.71999999999997,"endTime":457.765,"body":"morning's gonna look like."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":457.77,"endTime":459.505,"body":"They've asked permission three times."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":459.505,"endTime":463.195,"body":"They've had to do five reminders and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":459.505,"endTime":463.195,"body":"that's just getting out the door."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":463.435,"endTime":467.06,"body":"On the drive over on the bus or in"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":463.435,"endTime":467.06,"body":"the taxi or walking, they get the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":467.06,"endTime":470.15,"body":"texts that they don't know where"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":467.06,"endTime":470.15,"body":"the toothpaste is, or the kids are"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":470.15,"endTime":473.36,"body":"fighting or they can't find the diaper"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":470.15,"endTime":473.36,"body":"cream and you said to put it on."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":473.69,"endTime":477.89,"body":"And so now not only are they like not"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":473.69,"endTime":477.89,"body":"even in that environment, but they're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":477.89,"endTime":482.47999999999996,"body":"continuing to have to provide all"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":477.89,"endTime":482.47999999999996,"body":"this care and support to the caregiver"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":482.63,"endTime":486.65,"body":"that they've had to like do a mountain"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":482.63,"endTime":486.65,"body":"of work, literally just to get three"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":486.65,"endTime":489.26,"body":"hours at the door to go do another job."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":489.9,"endTime":492.69,"body":"And even if it's not another job,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":489.9,"endTime":492.69,"body":"even if they literally wanted to go"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":492.69,"endTime":496.53,"body":"like lie in the park and read, which"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":492.69,"endTime":496.53,"body":"I've just never heard somebody even"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":496.56,"endTime":498.63,"body":"consider doing that in our communities."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":498.96,"endTime":504.93,"body":"Um, but it's like, they're doing this to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":498.96,"endTime":504.93,"body":"go do their job versus their husbands get"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":504.93,"endTime":509.265,"body":"to just go do their job and then either"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":504.93,"endTime":509.265,"body":"come home or not come home, if something"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":509.265,"endTime":512.9250000000001,"body":"comes up and they're like, \"oh, we're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":509.265,"endTime":512.9250000000001,"body":"actually gonna like grab a bite after the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":512.9250000000001,"endTime":516.525,"body":"meeting\", they just like continue out on"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":512.9250000000001,"endTime":516.525,"body":"their thing and there's no prep required."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":516.885,"endTime":520.1850000000001,"body":"And so when we look at these kind"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":516.885,"endTime":520.1850000000001,"body":"of situations, which we hear all"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":520.1850000000001,"endTime":523.689,"body":"the time,  it feels impossible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":523.689,"endTime":526.03,"body":"You don't even know what it looks"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":523.689,"endTime":526.03,"body":"like to choose you because in that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":526.03,"endTime":530.049,"body":"you're like, well, I did, I did choose"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":526.03,"endTime":530.049,"body":"to like, I get to have this other"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":530.049,"endTime":533.77,"body":"job or I get to go to the consult"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":530.049,"endTime":533.77,"body":"and we hear that kind of language."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":534.04,"endTime":538.45,"body":"And so we want it to have like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":534.04,"endTime":538.45,"body":"you know, really get clear on"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":538.45,"endTime":539.919,"body":"what does it mean to choose you?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":539.924,"endTime":544.809,"body":"Because it can feel really hard"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":539.924,"endTime":544.809,"body":"when there's so much noise, um, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":544.814,"endTime":546.91,"body":"know, to weed through all of that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":547.179,"endTime":549.28,"body":"So Amy and Michelle."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":550.26,"endTime":554.28,"body":"When we say, let's talk about choosing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":550.26,"endTime":554.28,"body":"you, what does that look like?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":554.58,"endTime":556.169,"body":"Well, it's not selfish."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":556.83,"endTime":557.669,"body":"it's not selfish at all."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":558.04,"endTime":560.1,"body":"And that's the first thing"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":558.04,"endTime":560.1,"body":"is like, if I choose somebody"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":560.1,"endTime":562.799,"body":"else, then I'm being selfish."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":562.799,"endTime":564.72,"body":"I'm giving myself everything."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":564.72,"endTime":568.169,"body":"And also too, I will say, folks will"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":564.72,"endTime":568.169,"body":"say, oh, you're gonna go spend money."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":568.559,"endTime":569.85,"body":"There's a money attachment to it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":569.85,"endTime":570.66,"body":"Which comes with shame."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":570.66,"endTime":573.48,"body":"It's like, oh, you're gonna spend"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":570.66,"endTime":573.48,"body":"all the money on your self care."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":573.9300000000001,"endTime":575.519,"body":"Well, it's like, no, it's not."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":575.519,"endTime":580.215,"body":"And also, money is a form"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":575.519,"endTime":580.215,"body":"of movement through life."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":580.245,"endTime":581.7750000000001,"body":"We're gonna spend money on things."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":581.7750000000001,"endTime":586.635,"body":"So investing in hobbies and things,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":581.7750000000001,"endTime":586.635,"body":"investing in whatever you want in life."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":587.085,"endTime":589.725,"body":"And I mean this in a serious"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":587.085,"endTime":589.725,"body":"sense, like if you're wanting"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":589.725,"endTime":592.3050000000001,"body":"peace, you have to invest in peace."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":593.1650000000001,"endTime":595.5300000000001,"body":"And some will say, \"Oh,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":593.1650000000001,"endTime":595.5300000000001,"body":"your kids are crying."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":595.74,"endTime":597.09,"body":"Why aren't you taking care of them?\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":597.4200000000001,"endTime":598.5300000000001,"body":"Um, that's okay."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":598.5300000000001,"endTime":599.37,"body":"They can cry."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":599.5200000000001,"endTime":600.48,"body":"Like it's right."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":600.51,"endTime":601.4100000000001,"body":"They're gonna survive."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":601.9200000000001,"endTime":605.94,"body":"Mm-hmm  um, if the, the primary"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":601.9200000000001,"endTime":605.94,"body":"parent doesn't survive, then we're"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":605.94,"endTime":610.38,"body":"left with nothing or being said"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":605.94,"endTime":610.38,"body":"the primary human in the house."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":610.59,"endTime":613.9200000000001,"body":"If you don't have children, if you"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":610.59,"endTime":613.9200000000001,"body":"don't survive, we're left with nothing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":614.58,"endTime":617.6700000000001,"body":"And that pain is what"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":614.58,"endTime":617.6700000000001,"body":"no one's prepared for."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":618.51,"endTime":620.76,"body":"And then when it happens,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":618.51,"endTime":620.76,"body":"they're like, holy crap."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":620.97,"endTime":623.01,"body":"I had no idea they were hurting so bad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":623.85,"endTime":624.0600000000001,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":624.84,"endTime":627.45,"body":"Not to be morbid, but like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":624.84,"endTime":627.45,"body":"that's the truth of where we're at."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":628.0490000000001,"endTime":629.1,"body":"No, it's powerful, michelle."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":629.1,"endTime":629.6690000000001,"body":"It's not morbid."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":629.6690000000001,"endTime":630.149,"body":"It's true."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":630.149,"endTime":631.0490000000001,"body":"And it's powerful."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":631.2,"endTime":634.98,"body":"And Amy sees folks in the throws"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":631.2,"endTime":634.98,"body":"of addiction from this exact issue."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":635.159,"endTime":639.09,"body":"And I would like to flag seeing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":635.159,"endTime":639.09,"body":"as September is suicide prevention"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":639.09,"endTime":644.0390000000001,"body":"month, that suicide is one of the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":639.09,"endTime":644.0390000000001,"body":"leading causes of death for mothers."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":644.519,"endTime":645.95,"body":"Like, just take a beat for that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":645.95,"endTime":650.9050000000001,"body":"It is one of the leading"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":645.95,"endTime":650.9050000000001,"body":"causes of death right now."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":651.475,"endTime":654.955,"body":"And this is why."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":654.955,"endTime":657.075,"body":"It's not enough sleep."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":657.2850000000001,"endTime":658.7650000000001,"body":"There's no time to stop."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":659.325,"endTime":663.075,"body":"There's rage that's being stuffed down"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":659.325,"endTime":663.075,"body":"and we're running into mental health"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":663.075,"endTime":666.315,"body":"crisis or into issues with addiction."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":666.315,"endTime":669.105,"body":"So, Amy, what is your thought on this?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":669.135,"endTime":672.345,"body":"Choosing you and the selfishness"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":669.135,"endTime":672.345,"body":"of it and,  all these things."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":672.345,"endTime":672.855,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":673.1840000000001,"endTime":673.725,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":673.73,"endTime":674.835,"body":"So I think there's..."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":675.76,"endTime":680.0490000000001,"body":"And I think we touched on some of this"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":675.76,"endTime":680.0490000000001,"body":"in the episode that you and I did Bianca,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":680.0490000000001,"endTime":684.279,"body":"where we talked about what it means to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":680.0490000000001,"endTime":684.279,"body":"be a good woman and how conditioned we"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":684.279,"endTime":691.0590000000001,"body":"all are to show up in service of other"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":684.279,"endTime":691.0590000000001,"body":"people to make everybody comfortable."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":691.24,"endTime":693.58,"body":"The assumption is that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":691.24,"endTime":693.58,"body":"we're all available."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":693.58,"endTime":695.62,"body":"Our time is everybody else's."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":695.889,"endTime":701.32,"body":"And so any time we deviate from"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":695.889,"endTime":701.32,"body":"that, so if that's like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":701.325,"endTime":703.2,"body":"gonna go read a book in the grass."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":703.25,"endTime":708.105,"body":"And that's just an activity just for"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":703.25,"endTime":708.105,"body":"me, not in service of somebody else."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":709.1850000000001,"endTime":714.345,"body":"We're viewed as not a good woman, not"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":709.1850000000001,"endTime":714.345,"body":"a good mother, not a good partner and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":714.345,"endTime":716.985,"body":"it, and it is interpreted as selfish."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":717.225,"endTime":721.965,"body":"And so I think we need , there's a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":717.225,"endTime":721.965,"body":"lot of rewriting and reprogramming"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":721.965,"endTime":727.815,"body":"and unlearning that we need to do to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":721.965,"endTime":727.815,"body":"recognize that taking time for yourself,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":727.815,"endTime":731.985,"body":"actually identifying what your needs"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":727.815,"endTime":731.985,"body":"and wants are and making it okay."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":731.985,"endTime":737.745,"body":"And giving yourself permission to do"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":731.985,"endTime":737.745,"body":"that stuff is not only in service of you,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":737.75,"endTime":740.654,"body":"but also in service of everybody else."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":740.865,"endTime":741.255,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":741.255,"endTime":746.2940000000001,"body":"Nobody is winning as Michelle said, like,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":741.255,"endTime":746.2940000000001,"body":"and, or, you know, to your point around"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":746.505,"endTime":752.985,"body":"suicide, being the lead leading cause"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":746.505,"endTime":752.985,"body":"of death for mothers and women, like no"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":752.985,"endTime":755.745,"body":"one's winning when women are suffering."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":756.36,"endTime":758.639,"body":"And I see it in my work"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":756.36,"endTime":758.639,"body":"all the time, you know?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":759.26,"endTime":766.7700000000001,"body":"Yes, women come to me for support around"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":759.26,"endTime":766.7700000000001,"body":"sobriety, but usually alcohol serves"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":766.7700000000001,"endTime":770.0400000000001,"body":"as a temporary solution to the problem."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":770.25,"endTime":776.125,"body":"And the problem is, not having"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":770.25,"endTime":776.125,"body":"boundaries, not prioritizing"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":776.125,"endTime":780.0540000000001,"body":"ourselves, leaning into people-pleasing"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":776.125,"endTime":780.0540000000001,"body":"behaviors, like all of this stuff."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":780.0540000000001,"endTime":781.195,"body":"And it's not about blame."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":781.195,"endTime":783.534,"body":"It's like adaptive to our environment."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":783.835,"endTime":787.9140000000001,"body":"Um, but usually it's all that"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":783.835,"endTime":787.9140000000001,"body":"stuff that gets us in trouble."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":787.9140000000001,"endTime":788.3040000000001,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":788.3100000000001,"endTime":791.125,"body":"When we have no relief in our"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":788.3100000000001,"endTime":791.125,"body":"lives, we look for something"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":791.13,"endTime":793.404,"body":"like alcohol or whatever it is."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":793.955,"endTime":794.565,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":795.5250000000001,"endTime":795.735,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":795.735,"endTime":800.355,"body":"And these, these are all more"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":795.735,"endTime":800.355,"body":"complicated also, depending on what"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":800.355,"endTime":802.575,"body":"buckets of marginalization we sit in."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":802.875,"endTime":803.085,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":803.085,"endTime":804.6450000000001,"body":"So these are complicated by class."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":804.6450000000001,"endTime":808.7950000000001,"body":"These are complicated by race, by"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":804.6450000000001,"endTime":808.7950000000001,"body":"gender expression, um, fatphobia,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":808.815,"endTime":814.44,"body":"like all of these things make"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":808.815,"endTime":814.44,"body":"all of it, you know, worse and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":814.44,"endTime":814.9200000000001,"body":"oh yes,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":815.6400000000001,"endTime":816.7800000000001,"body":"worse and worse and worse."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":817.0200000000001,"endTime":821.1600000000001,"body":"I can go on for an hour alone on"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":817.0200000000001,"endTime":821.1600000000001,"body":"the black community and choosing yourself"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":821.1600000000001,"endTime":823.86,"body":"and how it's viewed as this insane thing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":824.07,"endTime":827.47,"body":"If you do something simple as like, not"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":824.07,"endTime":827.47,"body":"fix your man a plate, it's like, \"Oh!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":827.88,"endTime":828.73,"body":"Oh, my God!\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":828.73,"endTime":832.2,"body":"I'm like, yeah, in my house,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":828.73,"endTime":832.2,"body":"you fix your own damn plate."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":832.279,"endTime":832.76,"body":"Okay?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":832.7890000000001,"endTime":837.51,"body":"Like I'm hungry, the food"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":832.7890000000001,"endTime":837.51,"body":"is hot, I'm eating first."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":837.74,"endTime":839.58,"body":"You're gonna have to wait, you know?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":839.61,"endTime":839.88,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":840.029,"endTime":841.74,"body":"Um, so that's,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":840.029,"endTime":841.74,"body":"that's its own thing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":841.74,"endTime":844.409,"body":"And like, culturally, like there"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":841.74,"endTime":844.409,"body":"are some aspects where it's like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":844.409,"endTime":846.48,"body":"you're expected to do certain things."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":846.774,"endTime":847.225,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":847.225,"endTime":852.1990000000001,"body":"And I see my privilege in my"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":847.225,"endTime":852.1990000000001,"body":"relationship and the fact that I have"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":852.565,"endTime":855.865,"body":"partner and a husband that will say,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":852.565,"endTime":855.865,"body":"\"No, dear God, go to bed, Michelle.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":855.985,"endTime":857.485,"body":"And I'm like, okay, that sounds great."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":858.475,"endTime":862.345,"body":"And like, he like closes the door"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":858.475,"endTime":862.345,"body":"and says, you like, \"just please go.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":862.975,"endTime":863.995,"body":"And I'm like, okay, great."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":864.0550000000001,"endTime":867.625,"body":"But for some folks, I'd say the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":864.0550000000001,"endTime":867.625,"body":"majority, 95% don't have that."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":868.135,"endTime":871.375,"body":"And that time that we need that push."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":871.735,"endTime":876.115,"body":"And sometimes that accepting the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":871.735,"endTime":876.115,"body":"cultural othering,  like being accepting"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":876.135,"endTime":880.394,"body":"that we are not gonna fit into our"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":876.135,"endTime":880.394,"body":"culture as we would expect to fit"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":880.725,"endTime":882.975,"body":"is even harder to accept, I'd say."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":883.274,"endTime":887.595,"body":"And so if you're in those buckets and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":883.274,"endTime":887.595,"body":"you're like, holy crap, I'm the only"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":887.595,"endTime":889.154,"body":"one in my family choosing myself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":889.4250000000001,"endTime":890.565,"body":"That is okay."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":890.985,"endTime":895.4250000000001,"body":"It's a rough hill to climb, but is"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":890.985,"endTime":895.4250000000001,"body":"the best hill to climb for yourself"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":896.144,"endTime":898.065,"body":"because you'll feel so good after."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":899.5500000000001,"endTime":903.09,"body":"I would like to flag another"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":899.5500000000001,"endTime":903.09,"body":"one is, um, fems who don't like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":903.09,"endTime":905.58,"body":"domestic labor or being in the kitchen."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":906.0600000000001,"endTime":907.47,"body":"Oh, it's also very weird."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":908.25,"endTime":912.0300000000001,"body":"I would happily sit on the couch and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":908.25,"endTime":912.0300000000001,"body":"chat while Thanksgiving dinner is being"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":912.0300000000001,"endTime":913.83,"body":"made or, you know, fill in the blank."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":914.5200000000001,"endTime":917.46,"body":"And, um, that's always"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":914.5200000000001,"endTime":917.46,"body":"looked at, is really strange."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":917.46,"endTime":919.9000000000001,"body":"And I was like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":917.46,"endTime":919.9000000000001,"body":"that's not a place I go."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":920.59,"endTime":921.57,"body":"That's not for me in there."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":923.1600000000001,"endTime":923.8900000000001,"body":"You're not baking?!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":924.57,"endTime":925.59,"body":"You're not baking something?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":925.74,"endTime":926.9000000000001,"body":"You're not cooking something?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":927.3900000000001,"endTime":927.84,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":927.9000000000001,"endTime":929.6400000000001,"body":"And it's not like I'm incompetent."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":929.6450000000001,"endTime":934.0200000000001,"body":"I could survive if I had to make my own"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":929.6450000000001,"endTime":934.0200000000001,"body":"food and I love food and I love eating."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":934.38,"endTime":936.3900000000001,"body":"Um, but that's not a place that I go."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":936.48,"endTime":937.4100000000001,"body":"That's not for me in there."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":937.8900000000001,"endTime":939.2700000000001,"body":"And that's always like \"gasp!\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":940.33,"endTime":943.245,"body":"when you are a, um, when you're a fem."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":943.514,"endTime":946.1850000000001,"body":"And yeah, that's great."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":946.9350000000001,"endTime":951.404,"body":"Um, so yeah, we do wanna flag that there's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":946.9350000000001,"endTime":951.404,"body":"a lot of complicated factors in this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":951.409,"endTime":955.455,"body":"So, so when we come to these forks"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":951.409,"endTime":955.455,"body":"in the road and we have to make"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":955.455,"endTime":959.8050000000001,"body":"these choices, I think sometimes we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":955.455,"endTime":959.8050000000001,"body":"can't even identify when they are."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":959.8050000000001,"endTime":961.095,"body":"So we're like choose you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":961.095,"endTime":964.1850000000001,"body":"And it's really hard cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":961.095,"endTime":964.1850000000001,"body":"those seem really abstract."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":964.1850000000001,"endTime":968.565,"body":"And so a lot of times when people, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":964.1850000000001,"endTime":968.565,"body":"know, might wanna start adopting some"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":968.565,"endTime":972.105,"body":"of the practices, which we will support"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":968.565,"endTime":972.105,"body":"you with, we have some tips for this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":972.495,"endTime":976.215,"body":"Um, but we don't even know when we're"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":972.495,"endTime":976.215,"body":"at that juncture where we have to make a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":976.215,"endTime":979.845,"body":"choice that we could, you know, we can't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":976.215,"endTime":979.845,"body":"always see the options because we go"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":979.845,"endTime":983.1750000000001,"body":"a little bit into autopilot and that's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":979.845,"endTime":983.1750000000001,"body":"our brain's way of preserving energy."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":983.1750000000001,"endTime":984.615,"body":"As we kind of coast through our day."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":986.6850000000001,"endTime":992.475,"body":"Let's identify some of those places"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":986.6850000000001,"endTime":992.475,"body":"of like, you know, how do we know if"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":992.475,"endTime":996.9150000000001,"body":"we're at one of those places where we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":992.475,"endTime":996.9150000000001,"body":"can choose us or not as, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":996.9150000000001,"endTime":999.825,"body":"baby steps to just start noticing them."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":999.945,"endTime":1001.745,"body":"At first, I don't even think"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":999.945,"endTime":1001.745,"body":"you need to do anything."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1001.8050000000001,"endTime":1004.6850000000001,"body":"I think you just need to notice"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1001.8050000000001,"endTime":1004.6850000000001,"body":"that this could be one of those"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1004.6850000000001,"endTime":1006.065,"body":"ones you could explore further."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1007.205,"endTime":1011.6750000000001,"body":"So how do you guys know when"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1007.205,"endTime":1011.6750000000001,"body":"you're at one of those junctures?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1012.1850000000001,"endTime":1014.105,"body":"Is this for me or is"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1012.1850000000001,"endTime":1014.105,"body":"this for somebody else?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1016.534,"endTime":1018.034,"body":"I usually feel it in my body."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1018.065,"endTime":1022.5440000000001,"body":"I usually have that sense where I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1018.065,"endTime":1022.5440000000001,"body":"okay, my sleep meter's at a four, outta"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1022.5440000000001,"endTime":1025.385,"body":"of 10, my rage is at a nine, outta 10."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1025.445,"endTime":1026.585,"body":"I'm hungry."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1027.0049999999999,"endTime":1027.995,"body":"I didn't get any..."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1028.085,"endTime":1030.345,"body":"I'm touched out is the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1028.085,"endTime":1030.345,"body":"phrase I usually use."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1030.375,"endTime":1032.345,"body":"I didn't get any personal space."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1032.764,"endTime":1037.804,"body":"Um, and I've made changes to help that,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1032.764,"endTime":1037.804,"body":"but it usually happens, I'll say for me,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1037.804,"endTime":1040.294,"body":"it's like almost like the witching hours."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1040.385,"endTime":1043.924,"body":"You know, like say for babies, like, you"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1040.385,"endTime":1043.924,"body":"know, between like 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1044.135,"endTime":1044.735,"body":"I usually, I."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1045.6,"endTime":1047.12,"body":"I'm not doing X, Y, Z."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1047.12,"endTime":1047.99,"body":"I'm not making dinner."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1047.99,"endTime":1051.59,"body":"Like last night I legit was"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1047.99,"endTime":1051.59,"body":"like, I'm not making dinner."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1051.62,"endTime":1052.8799999999999,"body":"I refuse."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1053.66,"endTime":1056.66,"body":"I'm like, and it wasn't until"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1053.66,"endTime":1056.66,"body":"9:00 PM that my husband's like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1056.66,"endTime":1058.49,"body":"you have to eat something."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1058.64,"endTime":1062.27,"body":"I'm like, I don't have interest"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1058.64,"endTime":1062.27,"body":"in cooking for myself or anyone."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1062.275,"endTime":1063.98,"body":"And that's just what it is."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1064.1299999999999,"endTime":1067.22,"body":"I find that I have to choose"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1064.1299999999999,"endTime":1067.22,"body":"myself and sometimes it's like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1067.25,"endTime":1070.64,"body":"I need to be with my family, but"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1067.25,"endTime":1070.64,"body":"just not doing something for them."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1071.57,"endTime":1073.1,"body":"And that is almost weird."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1073.1,"endTime":1076.25,"body":"Cause folks like, oh, you have to"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1073.1,"endTime":1076.25,"body":"do self-care, you have to be alone."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1076.31,"endTime":1078.08,"body":"No one says you have to be alone."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1079.1,"endTime":1079.19,"body":"Mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1079.43,"endTime":1082.1,"body":"I just don't wanna"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1079.43,"endTime":1082.1,"body":"participate in whatever it could be."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1082.82,"endTime":1084.769,"body":"Or I want to, in my own way."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1085.67,"endTime":1087.32,"body":"But usually it's that sense in my body."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1087.32,"endTime":1088.76,"body":"I'm like, oh no, no, no."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1089.03,"endTime":1091.25,"body":"If I do that, this is gonna be bad."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1091.64,"endTime":1094.3700000000001,"body":"And what I mean bad is like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1091.64,"endTime":1094.3700000000001,"body":"gonna feel worse the next day."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1094.375,"endTime":1096.38,"body":"My emotions are gonna be out of control."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1096.5900000000001,"endTime":1101.75,"body":"I may explode in a way with the twins"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1096.5900000000001,"endTime":1101.75,"body":"that I don't want to exchange with them,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1101.78,"endTime":1105.19,"body":"you know, which I'm like, they're five,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1101.78,"endTime":1105.19,"body":"they don't need to have rage-mommy."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1106.015,"endTime":1106.325,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1106.385,"endTime":1109.185,"body":"They see her, they know what she"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1106.385,"endTime":1109.185,"body":"looks like, because even my daughter"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1109.2050000000002,"endTime":1111.065,"body":"was like, mom, are you doing okay?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1111.065,"endTime":1112.655,"body":"I'm like, no girl, I'm not okay."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1112.655,"endTime":1114.2450000000001,"body":"She's like, you need to go color."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1114.2450000000001,"endTime":1116.165,"body":"I'm like, yes, ma'am I need to go color."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1116.7050000000002,"endTime":1119.795,"body":"I'm like, if my five-year-old can"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1116.7050000000002,"endTime":1119.795,"body":"see it, I'm like, I will take your"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1119.8,"endTime":1124.2250000000001,"body":"advice and go hang out with my"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1119.8,"endTime":1124.2250000000001,"body":"markers in my office, you know?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1124.7250000000001,"endTime":1126.285,"body":"But it's physical."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1126.305,"endTime":1129.635,"body":"And I'll say, if anyone that knows me,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1126.305,"endTime":1129.635,"body":"you can see it on my face, on my body"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1129.635,"endTime":1132.005,"body":"language that I'm hitting my, my limit."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1133.345,"endTime":1136.49,"body":"Follow up question Michelle,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1133.345,"endTime":1136.49,"body":"before Amy, you tell me yours."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1137.78,"endTime":1140.8700000000001,"body":"I hear that it feels louder"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1137.78,"endTime":1140.8700000000001,"body":"when you're depleted."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1140.93,"endTime":1144.23,"body":"So if somebody called and said, we need"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1140.93,"endTime":1144.23,"body":"you to bring orange slices tomorrow, it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1144.23,"endTime":1146.0900000000001,"body":"feels like you don't have space for that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1146.855,"endTime":1150.125,"body":"Do you find that you, when you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1146.855,"endTime":1150.125,"body":"do have a bit of extra in the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1150.125,"endTime":1151.7450000000001,"body":"tank, it might not clock for you?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1151.7450000000001,"endTime":1153.9950000000001,"body":"And then you find your giving,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1151.7450000000001,"endTime":1153.9950000000001,"body":"giving, giving until you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1153.9950000000001,"endTime":1155.375,"body":"get to that depleted state?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1155.7350000000001,"endTime":1157.115,"body":"See, I used to be like that."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1157.115,"endTime":1161.315,"body":"I used to give all the time and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1157.115,"endTime":1161.315,"body":"there's this amazing word I learned."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1161.315,"endTime":1162.005,"body":"It's called no."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1163.885,"endTime":1169.685,"body":"And I'll say going through the MSP course"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1163.885,"endTime":1169.685,"body":"and the taking the time to educate how"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1169.685,"endTime":1174.365,"body":"to work with clients and how to help"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1169.685,"endTime":1174.365,"body":"someone say no in, say for instance, a"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1174.3690000000001,"endTime":1179.825,"body":"labor situation or a postpartum situation,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1174.3690000000001,"endTime":1179.825,"body":"with a provider helps me to say no."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1180.545,"endTime":1183.605,"body":"For instance, last week,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1180.545,"endTime":1183.605,"body":"very busy with work."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1183.964,"endTime":1185.4940000000001,"body":"There was family stuff going on."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1185.4940000000001,"endTime":1188.175,"body":"My neighbor's like, \"Hey, can"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1185.4940000000001,"endTime":1188.175,"body":"you pick up my kid from school?\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1188.685,"endTime":1191.66,"body":"Usually I say yes, because they"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1188.685,"endTime":1191.66,"body":"go to the same school as my kid."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1191.8700000000001,"endTime":1194.24,"body":"We're two doors down, easy peasy."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1194.27,"endTime":1195.98,"body":"I was like, no, I can't do it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1196.79,"endTime":1199.22,"body":"And usually I'd be"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1196.79,"endTime":1199.22,"body":"like, filled with guilt."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1199.22,"endTime":1203.45,"body":"Like, oh, how dare I not pick"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1199.22,"endTime":1203.45,"body":"up the daughter for my friend?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1203.57,"endTime":1204.8600000000001,"body":"Oh, I'm such a bad person."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1205.25,"endTime":1207.41,"body":"And I was like, no, she knows I'm busy."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1207.41,"endTime":1209.51,"body":"She knows I have things"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1207.41,"endTime":1209.51,"body":"goning on in my life."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1209.72,"endTime":1211.27,"body":"And this once she says, \"Okay, no worries."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1211.31,"endTime":1212.23,"body":"Talk to you next week.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1212.63,"endTime":1217.415,"body":"Chill, because I've acknowledged that"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1212.63,"endTime":1217.415,"body":"if I say no, it's not from a hatred"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1217.415,"endTime":1219.9950000000001,"body":"place, it's from a self preservation."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1220.565,"endTime":1220.805,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1220.805,"endTime":1223.295,"body":"And that's a"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1220.805,"endTime":1223.295,"body":"skill I had to learn."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1224.045,"endTime":1229.175,"body":"Cause I'll say, you know, 2019 and before"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1224.045,"endTime":1229.175,"body":"homegirl was saying yes, till I would die."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1229.175,"endTime":1233.075,"body":"I'd be like, bare knuckles climbing"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1229.175,"endTime":1233.075,"body":"through the forest for someone"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1233.345,"endTime":1234.175,"body":"to bring them their waterbottle."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1234.175,"endTime":1235.954,"body":"She's belly crawling like a soldier y'all."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1235.954,"endTime":1238.445,"body":"You can't see her, but she's"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1235.954,"endTime":1238.445,"body":"belly crawling like a soldier."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1238.4650000000001,"endTime":1241.625,"body":"You know, imagine barbed wire"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1238.4650000000001,"endTime":1241.625,"body":"and bombs going up and I'm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1241.625,"endTime":1243.405,"body":"like, \"I have your bottle."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1243.875,"endTime":1244.685,"body":"Don't worry."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1245.615,"endTime":1246.815,"body":"Here's your gift card."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1247.595,"endTime":1249.365,"body":"Thank you for watching my toddler.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1249.7250000000001,"endTime":1252.7250000000001,"body":"Oh, you know, and now I'm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1249.7250000000001,"endTime":1252.7250000000001,"body":"like, here are the kids."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1253.085,"endTime":1254.03,"body":"What's your Venmo?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1254.06,"endTime":1254.6000000000001,"body":"Okay, bye."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1255.26,"endTime":1261.05,"body":"You know,  and like I walk off and just"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1255.26,"endTime":1261.05,"body":"like, let them take whatever it is."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1261.44,"endTime":1266.27,"body":"Whereas before it was like almost"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1261.44,"endTime":1266.27,"body":"to a point of like self degradation"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1266.27,"endTime":1269.69,"body":"and like removing my dignity for"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1266.27,"endTime":1269.69,"body":"myself, just to help somebody out."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1270.15,"endTime":1271.21,"body":"And that could be anybody."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1271.21,"endTime":1272.96,"body":"Here's your water"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1271.21,"endTime":1272.96,"body":"bottle, here is your gift card!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1273.95,"endTime":1276.63,"body":"You know, but I'm serious!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1276.95,"endTime":1278.0,"body":"I'm not even kidding!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1278.03,"endTime":1278.63,"body":"Like I would give,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1278.71,"endTime":1279.8300000000002,"body":"I know, I know you're."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1280.28,"endTime":1283.7,"body":"Energy, items, the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1280.28,"endTime":1283.7,"body":"shirt off my back to anyone."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1284.6290000000001,"endTime":1288.6190000000001,"body":"Like point in case one night I"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1284.6290000000001,"endTime":1288.6190000000001,"body":"made dinner and it tasted so bad."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1288.71,"endTime":1289.52,"body":"It was so bad."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1289.9,"endTime":1292.55,"body":"And I was like, if this is food,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1289.9,"endTime":1292.55,"body":"there's like chicken in here and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1292.55,"endTime":1296.51,"body":"vegetables and rice and Rob's"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1292.55,"endTime":1296.51,"body":"like, \"I'm not going to eat it.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1296.599,"endTime":1298.04,"body":"And I'm like, well,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1296.599,"endTime":1298.04,"body":"what did we do with it?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1298.099,"endTime":1300.2,"body":"We drove around for an hour"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1298.099,"endTime":1300.2,"body":"trying to find someone to give"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1300.204,"endTime":1301.3690000000001,"body":"it to, like homeless people."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1302.034,"endTime":1303.954,"body":"So I was like, I'm gonna give of myself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1304.284,"endTime":1307.044,"body":"And at one point he was like, can"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1304.284,"endTime":1307.044,"body":"we just go get Chinese food instead"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1307.044,"endTime":1308.9940000000001,"body":"of like, trying to like remake it?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1308.9940000000001,"endTime":1309.714,"body":"I'm like, sure."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1309.954,"endTime":1310.7640000000001,"body":"But that's how I would be."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1310.7640000000001,"endTime":1314.305,"body":"I would just give, give, give,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1310.7640000000001,"endTime":1314.305,"body":"even when it was bad, you know?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1314.305,"endTime":1318.425,"body":"Like , it tasted awful, I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1314.305,"endTime":1318.425,"body":"let's just keep giving because"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1318.474,"endTime":1319.675,"body":"that's how I was programmed."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1319.675,"endTime":1323.935,"body":"Like you have to give all the time,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1319.675,"endTime":1323.935,"body":"there's no opportunity for you for space."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1324.474,"endTime":1328.52,"body":"And it's mostly because I grew up in"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1324.474,"endTime":1328.52,"body":"a household that was like, \"you must"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1328.52,"endTime":1331.31,"body":"protect the world\" kind of thing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1331.46,"endTime":1331.909,"body":"You know?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1331.97,"endTime":1334.07,"body":"It's your job to protect people."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1334.49,"endTime":1336.3790000000001,"body":"And I see that now."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1336.3790000000001,"endTime":1339.17,"body":"And I'm like, I don't wanna"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1336.3790000000001,"endTime":1339.17,"body":"be burned out before 45."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1339.349,"endTime":1341.93,"body":"Like I've already been"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1339.349,"endTime":1341.93,"body":"working through burnout."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1341.935,"endTime":1345.82,"body":"I've already been working through stress"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1341.935,"endTime":1345.82,"body":"and exhaustion, but yeah, no, I'd..."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1345.82,"endTime":1349.46,"body":"I'd legit crawl on the ground before now."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1349.55,"endTime":1351.6190000000001,"body":"It was real, real life."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1352.054,"endTime":1355.094,"body":"I'm glad you learned"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1352.054,"endTime":1355.094,"body":"\"no,\" I'm glad you learned \"no.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1355.415,"endTime":1355.5040000000001,"body":"I know!"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1355.5040000000001,"endTime":1356.905,"body":"So you can stay alive."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1357.784,"endTime":1361.564,"body":"Um, Amy, what does it feel like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1357.784,"endTime":1361.564,"body":"when you're at those junctures?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1361.57,"endTime":1363.4840000000002,"body":"Because I know you also"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1361.57,"endTime":1363.4840000000002,"body":"can recognize them."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1363.9940000000001,"endTime":1364.655,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1365.345,"endTime":1369.304,"body":"And it looks a bit different for me"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1365.345,"endTime":1369.304,"body":"cuz as you pointed out I'm child free."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1369.31,"endTime":1373.625,"body":"So I don't exist in the same,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1369.31,"endTime":1373.625,"body":"you know, systems and structures."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1373.685,"endTime":1380.8690000000001,"body":"Um, but I, you know, used to say yes"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1373.685,"endTime":1380.8690000000001,"body":"to a lot of stuff that would then"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1380.8690000000001,"endTime":1383.8690000000001,"body":"feel really shitty after the fact."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1384.32,"endTime":1387.77,"body":"So that I think was an indicator for me."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1387.775,"endTime":1391.67,"body":"Like I would say yes to something and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1387.775,"endTime":1391.67,"body":"then I would just like grumble about it"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1391.67,"endTime":1394.82,"body":"and be grumpy and resentful and annoyed."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1394.825,"endTime":1400.339,"body":"And what I have come to learn is like,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1394.825,"endTime":1400.339,"body":"that's on me to like, communicate"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1400.339,"endTime":1402.23,"body":"my boundary and practice \"no.\""},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1402.23,"endTime":1407.095,"body":"As Michelle said and actually say,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1402.23,"endTime":1407.095,"body":"\"That doesn't work for me, but maybe"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1407.095,"endTime":1409.4950000000001,"body":"this, this does, and this feels okay."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1409.4950000000001,"endTime":1411.145,"body":"And I can do this instead."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1411.145,"endTime":1412.915,"body":"And if that works for you then great."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1412.915,"endTime":1415.675,"body":"And if not, then catch me next time."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1415.68,"endTime":1417.325,"body":"Cuz like this time isn't gonna go.\""},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1417.835,"endTime":1426.175,"body":"Um, so yeah, I, it very much feels"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1417.835,"endTime":1426.175,"body":"like based around how I feel and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1426.175,"endTime":1431.285,"body":"if I don't feel excited about it,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1426.175,"endTime":1431.285,"body":"and if it's not a \"hell, yes!\","},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1431.335,"endTime":1433.46,"body":"it's probably gonna be a no now."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1433.909,"endTime":1436.49,"body":"And that feels a lot better for me."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1436.909,"endTime":1442.099,"body":"And I used to also find that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1436.909,"endTime":1442.099,"body":"I would notice that I would get to a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1442.105,"endTime":1450.05,"body":"point where I was so overextended in all"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1442.105,"endTime":1450.05,"body":"the areas of my life, that like a tiny"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1450.05,"endTime":1454.6090000000002,"body":"thing, a tiny thing, like you said, the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1450.05,"endTime":1454.6090000000002,"body":"oranges at the soccer game or whatever,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1454.67,"endTime":1457.73,"body":"not my situation, but still the tiniest..."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1457.7340000000002,"endTime":1461.69,"body":"imagine I just showed up at a random"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1457.7340000000002,"endTime":1461.69,"body":"kid's soccer game with orange slices."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1461.81,"endTime":1462.47,"body":"T-ball"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1462.57,"endTime":1463.54,"body":"Stranger danger!"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1464.27,"endTime":1464.45,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1465.29,"endTime":1466.22,"body":"Which kid are you?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1466.49,"endTime":1467.54,"body":"None of them."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1468.02,"endTime":1469.099,"body":"I'm here for the moms."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1469.099,"endTime":1470.16,"body":"I'm I'm here for the moms,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1470.31,"endTime":1470.38,"body":"Yeah!"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1471.47,"endTime":1473.06,"body":"I brought snacks for the moms."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1473.99,"endTime":1474.05,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1474.44,"endTime":1479.69,"body":"Um, yeah, but like the tiniest"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1474.44,"endTime":1479.69,"body":"thing would feel like the biggest thing"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1479.9,"endTime":1486.335,"body":"and it would immediately cause me to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1479.9,"endTime":1486.335,"body":"feel stressed and annoyed and irritated."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1486.4840000000002,"endTime":1490.925,"body":"And so those are also really"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1486.4840000000002,"endTime":1490.925,"body":"strong indicators that I need"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1490.925,"endTime":1493.145,"body":"to just be saying no more often."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1493.1490000000001,"endTime":1497.395,"body":"And I need to redirect my time"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":1493.1490000000001,"endTime":1497.395,"body":"and energy into restoring myself."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1498.2340000000002,"endTime":1501.214,"body":"Mine became really simple"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1498.2340000000002,"endTime":1501.214,"body":"that if I get asked, I don't want"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1501.214,"endTime":1502.9840000000002,"body":"to, but if I volunteer, I do."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1503.0140000000001,"endTime":1507.605,"body":"That became my limits test that I was"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1503.0140000000001,"endTime":1507.605,"body":"like, I just choose to constantly scan"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1507.605,"endTime":1510.365,"body":"my environment and I name what I can do."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1510.845,"endTime":1511.9850000000001,"body":"So, yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1511.9850000000001,"endTime":1515.375,"body":"You know, whatever the thing is, if"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1511.9850000000001,"endTime":1515.375,"body":"my friend like sounds really stressed,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1515.375,"endTime":1518.255,"body":"I'll just be like, oh, can I send"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1515.375,"endTime":1518.255,"body":"food to you on your moving day?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1518.555,"endTime":1521.9750000000001,"body":"And then it's taken care of,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1518.555,"endTime":1521.9750000000001,"body":"but if I got asked to do it, it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1521.9750000000001,"endTime":1523.925,"body":"would feel not as good to me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1524.015,"endTime":1526.2050000000002,"body":"I don't know why I've"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1524.015,"endTime":1526.2050000000002,"body":"just decided that's my..."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1526.775,"endTime":1527.405,"body":"That's a choice."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1527.825,"endTime":1528.9650000000001,"body":"Those are my junctures."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1529.2350000000001,"endTime":1531.875,"body":"And I, I also feel like really okay."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1531.875,"endTime":1535.2350000000001,"body":"And always have been mostly because"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1531.875,"endTime":1535.2350000000001,"body":"I've existed in a state of burnout."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1535.7350000000001,"endTime":1538.555,"body":"Up until a couple years ago, pretty"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1535.7350000000001,"endTime":1538.555,"body":"much every day of my adult life."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1538.585,"endTime":1541.855,"body":"So like a lot of the things that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1538.585,"endTime":1541.855,"body":"would ping as stress or shame"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1541.855,"endTime":1543.895,"body":"for moms didn't ping for me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1544.255,"endTime":1546.2050000000002,"body":"Like, I didn't really care what the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1544.255,"endTime":1546.2050000000002,"body":"other moms that the school thought"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1546.2050000000002,"endTime":1548.875,"body":"about me, cuz it didn't matter."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1548.875,"endTime":1551.4850000000001,"body":"I didn't have the space to, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1548.875,"endTime":1551.4850000000001,"body":"care that they noticed I never"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1551.4850000000001,"endTime":1552.595,"body":"brought something for bake sale."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1552.595,"endTime":1556.52,"body":"Or if I did, I literally bought"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1552.595,"endTime":1556.52,"body":"like a thing of Oreos and was"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1556.52,"endTime":1558.079,"body":"like, here you go sell these."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1558.6200000000001,"endTime":1564.53,"body":"Um, or like if I did it all,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1558.6200000000001,"endTime":1564.53,"body":"um, and you know, I just, those"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1564.535,"endTime":1565.8500000000001,"body":"things never clocked for me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1565.8500000000001,"endTime":1568.43,"body":"Like I never felt obligated"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1565.8500000000001,"endTime":1568.43,"body":"to volunteer in the classroom."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1568.64,"endTime":1571.3700000000001,"body":"And the only times I did, I was like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1568.64,"endTime":1571.3700000000001,"body":"oh, that sounds like a cool field trip."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1571.88,"endTime":1573.26,"body":"I'll sign up and volunteer for that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1573.26,"endTime":1574.16,"body":"And then it felt okay."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1574.67,"endTime":1579.74,"body":"Um, but if I had to, if I had to, I would"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1574.67,"endTime":1579.74,"body":"be like Amy said, grumbling and pissed"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1579.74,"endTime":1581.63,"body":"off and I couldn't rally behind it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1581.8700000000001,"endTime":1582.5900000000001,"body":"I'd just be mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1583.49,"endTime":1590.15,"body":"Um, so I think the, um, autonomy"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1583.49,"endTime":1590.15,"body":"around it, no surprise for me,  has"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1590.15,"endTime":1592.43,"body":"to be present or it's irritating."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1592.5800000000002,"endTime":1596.8700000000001,"body":"One of the questions I wanna put forward"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1592.5800000000002,"endTime":1596.8700000000001,"body":"to you guys is what would really happen"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1596.8700000000001,"endTime":1603.82,"body":"if we didn't do some of the things like"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1596.8700000000001,"endTime":1603.82,"body":"pack a fancy bento lunch or, I don't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1603.825,"endTime":1610.44,"body":"know, do the errands for our partner or"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1603.825,"endTime":1610.44,"body":"problem solve our sister's issue with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1610.44,"endTime":1613.71,"body":"her mother-in-law which you couldn't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1610.44,"endTime":1613.71,"body":"find anything further removed from you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1615.18,"endTime":1616.41,"body":"What would happen if we didn't?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1616.98,"endTime":1619.26,"body":"So I'll tell you this"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1616.98,"endTime":1619.26,"body":"morning, some of these things"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1619.26,"endTime":1620.67,"body":"didn't happen in my household."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1620.675,"endTime":1622.38,"body":"I don't pack fancy lunches anymore."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1622.71,"endTime":1624.96,"body":"I'm like, you're gonna get a bagged snack."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1625.32,"endTime":1627.1200000000001,"body":"Uh, you're gonna get school lunch."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1627.18,"endTime":1632.54,"body":"And I think removing that requirement"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1627.18,"endTime":1632.54,"body":"of like also, I will say, all the social"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1632.54,"endTime":1635.78,"body":"media makes all this worse because"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1632.54,"endTime":1635.78,"body":"you see all these moms making these"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1635.78,"endTime":1638.15,"body":"lunches for their homeschool children."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1638.18,"endTime":1639.2,"body":"Let me just add that."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1639.71,"endTime":1643.3400000000001,"body":"When I, when I see a fancy lunch"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1639.71,"endTime":1643.3400000000001,"body":"post, I'm always like, okay, what"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1643.3400000000001,"endTime":1644.51,"body":"kind of school are they going to?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1644.8700000000001,"endTime":1646.13,"body":"Is the title 1 school?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1646.13,"endTime":1648.5,"body":"If you don't know what title"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1646.13,"endTime":1648.5,"body":"1 is, is like low income."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1648.8,"endTime":1651.0800000000002,"body":"Is it a homeschool where"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1648.8,"endTime":1651.0800000000002,"body":"they're not going anywhere?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1651.29,"endTime":1654.5,"body":"Also some of those fancy lunches, they"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1651.29,"endTime":1654.5,"body":"are packing them for their spouses."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1655.4750000000001,"endTime":1659.255,"body":"They're packing freaking bento"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1655.4750000000001,"endTime":1659.255,"body":"boxes for their 46 year old husband."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1659.4950000000001,"endTime":1660.335,"body":"Who's an accountant."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1662.2250000000001,"endTime":1663.695,"body":"it matters that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1662.2250000000001,"endTime":1663.695,"body":"he's an accountant."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1667.565,"endTime":1670.805,"body":"If he was a teacher that would"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1667.565,"endTime":1670.805,"body":"feel different for Michelle."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1674.94,"endTime":1678.2,"body":"I didn't say engineer, cuz"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1674.94,"endTime":1678.2,"body":"I have an engineer husband  yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1678.2,"endTime":1682.94,"body":"Like, you know, one kid today was like,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1678.2,"endTime":1682.94,"body":"I cannot wait for the nachos at school."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1682.94,"endTime":1683.8400000000001,"body":"I was like, perfect."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1684.3500000000001,"endTime":1685.7,"body":"Here's your water bottle."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1685.76,"endTime":1686.42,"body":"That's it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1686.8400000000001,"endTime":1689.3300000000002,"body":"Other kid was like, I"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1686.8400000000001,"endTime":1689.3300000000002,"body":"wanna bean and cheese taco."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1689.6000000000001,"endTime":1689.99,"body":"Boom."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1689.99,"endTime":1692.03,"body":"I have take out from Taco Cabana."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1692.27,"endTime":1694.01,"body":"You can take that to school."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1694.16,"endTime":1699.1100000000001,"body":"Here's some chips and nothing's cut into"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1694.16,"endTime":1699.1100000000001,"body":"cute shapes and there's like less stress."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1699.2,"endTime":1699.8600000000001,"body":"And of course."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1700.3300000000002,"endTime":1703.66,"body":"Also, I will add to this,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1700.3300000000002,"endTime":1703.66,"body":"the kids don't freaking care."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1703.72,"endTime":1705.07,"body":"They just wanna be fed."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1705.52,"endTime":1705.94,"body":"They don't,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1705.94,"endTime":1707.26,"body":"They don't half of it anyway."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1707.41,"endTime":1708.13,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1708.22,"endTime":1709.0,"body":"Oh my God."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1709.3,"endTime":1709.69,"body":"That's a whole..."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1709.695,"endTime":1711.55,"body":"can we have a podcast"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1709.695,"endTime":1711.55,"body":"about kids not eating?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1711.55,"endTime":1712.42,"body":"It's a whole other thing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1712.9,"endTime":1713.14,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1713.14,"endTime":1714.5800000000002,"body":"Like they don't wanna eat."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1714.5800000000002,"endTime":1718.69,"body":"They're like, I just want my food and,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1714.5800000000002,"endTime":1718.69,"body":"you know, holding space for someone."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1718.72,"endTime":1723.079,"body":"I will tell you, me and my sister, and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1718.72,"endTime":1723.079,"body":"one my other close friends, the question"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1723.079,"endTime":1725.3,"body":"of, can we have a deep conversation today?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1725.3,"endTime":1725.96,"body":"Yes or no?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1726.44,"endTime":1727.79,"body":"They'll say no, I can't."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1727.79,"endTime":1728.78,"body":"Or I'll say no, I can't."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1728.93,"endTime":1730.04,"body":"And we leave it at that."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1730.67,"endTime":1733.76,"body":"There is no like, uh, cliff"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1730.67,"endTime":1733.76,"body":"notes version that comes in."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1733.97,"endTime":1735.68,"body":"\"Well, here's what's happening anyways."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1736.07,"endTime":1737.1190000000001,"body":"You can read this text or not.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1737.1190000000001,"endTime":1738.589,"body":"I'm gonna read the text!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1738.6190000000001,"endTime":1740.39,"body":"Like, of course I'm gonna read it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1740.42,"endTime":1742.19,"body":"I can't not read a text."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1742.49,"endTime":1744.02,"body":"It came upon my own notifications."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1744.02,"endTime":1747.589,"body":"Like, of course I'm gonna read"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1744.02,"endTime":1747.589,"body":"it, but letting people know, no,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1747.65,"endTime":1749.8700000000001,"body":"I can't have that conversation."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1750.365,"endTime":1752.704,"body":"I cannot hold space for you."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1753.305,"endTime":1754.5040000000001,"body":"You know, I'll be honest."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1754.5040000000001,"endTime":1756.845,"body":"I'll be the first person to say"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1754.5040000000001,"endTime":1756.845,"body":"I'm not folding your laundry today."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1757.445,"endTime":1761.7150000000001,"body":"Like I went through a six month"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1757.445,"endTime":1761.7150000000001,"body":"period where I just shoved unfolded"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1761.7350000000001,"endTime":1764.885,"body":"laundry in drawers and it was the"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1761.7350000000001,"endTime":1764.885,"body":"most freeing thing on the planet."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1765.335,"endTime":1767.375,"body":"Just shove a shirt and a drawer."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1768.035,"endTime":1771.845,"body":"The five-year-old doesn't care,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1768.035,"endTime":1771.845,"body":"what kon Marie taught you during"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1771.8500000000001,"endTime":1773.855,"body":"the pandemic about folding a shirt."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1774.335,"endTime":1777.125,"body":"They just want the dinosaur"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1774.335,"endTime":1777.125,"body":"freaking shirt and the blue shorts"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1777.13,"endTime":1779.9750000000001,"body":"and the lightning bolt undies and"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1777.13,"endTime":1779.9750000000001,"body":"they can go play out in the dirt."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1780.9950000000001,"endTime":1782.525,"body":"They do not care how it's folded."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1783.145,"endTime":1783.635,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1783.635,"endTime":1787.52,"body":"Like 90% of men do not care"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1783.635,"endTime":1787.52,"body":"how their socks are put together."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1787.52,"endTime":1790.16,"body":"Just throw the socks in the drawer."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1790.67,"endTime":1792.829,"body":"Oh man, I love this!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1793.099,"endTime":1795.4,"body":"Throw 'em in the drawer!"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1795.4,"endTime":1796.929,"body":"I'll tell you I learned a lot."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1798.579,"endTime":1799.45,"body":"Oh no, no."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1799.45,"endTime":1801.73,"body":"I fold my clothes because it's my clothes."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1801.73,"endTime":1802.54,"body":"That's for me."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1802.73,"endTime":1803.22,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1803.349,"endTime":1804.71,"body":"Everybody else, I took a poll."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1804.73,"endTime":1806.079,"body":"I said, who cares about folding?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1806.1390000000001,"endTime":1807.6390000000001,"body":"Nobody cared in the house."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1808.419,"endTime":1808.51,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1808.51,"endTime":1810.1190000000001,"body":"That was the end of mom folding laundry."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1810.925,"endTime":1811.345,"body":"Oh my God."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1811.345,"endTime":1812.365,"body":"I love that for you, Michelle."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1812.9650000000001,"endTime":1813.355,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1813.385,"endTime":1813.625,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1813.625,"endTime":1815.275,"body":"And then I simplified things too."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1815.7250000000001,"endTime":1820.105,"body":"Uh, this is a whole other pause, but"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1815.7250000000001,"endTime":1820.105,"body":"for the, uh, school uniforms, I took"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1820.1100000000001,"endTime":1823.7350000000001,"body":"away my hall closet because who freaking"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1820.1100000000001,"endTime":1823.7350000000001,"body":"needs a hall closet in Austin, Texas."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1824.005,"endTime":1824.9950000000001,"body":"It's never cold here."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1825.385,"endTime":1828.265,"body":"So I put shelves, each kid has"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1825.385,"endTime":1828.265,"body":"a shelf for school clothes."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1828.265,"endTime":1829.4950000000001,"body":"I just throw the clothes in there."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1830.155,"endTime":1832.795,"body":"Stack of shirts, stack of"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1830.155,"endTime":1832.795,"body":"shorts, underwear, socks."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1833.065,"endTime":1835.615,"body":"In the morning they just grab one"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1833.065,"endTime":1835.615,"body":"of everything and get dressed."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1836.005,"endTime":1836.4850000000001,"body":"Oh my God."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1836.4850000000001,"endTime":1836.905,"body":"I love that."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1837.665,"endTime":1839.0800000000002,"body":"Because I"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1837.665,"endTime":1839.0800000000002,"body":"don't, they don't care."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1839.14,"endTime":1843.73,"body":"And that's part of choosing me is"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1839.14,"endTime":1843.73,"body":"removing the stress of trying to find"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1844.21,"endTime":1848.95,"body":"the polos in the morning and the right"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1844.21,"endTime":1848.95,"body":"socks, you know, it's there mm-hmm"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1849.19,"endTime":1852.97,"body":"and that removes me having to explain"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1849.19,"endTime":1852.97,"body":"to me things to my partner, cuz he"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1852.97,"endTime":1853.8700000000001,"body":"just knows where everything's at."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1854.829,"endTime":1857.905,"body":"Also y'all know, I will not"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1854.829,"endTime":1857.905,"body":"take two shits from Robert."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1857.905,"endTime":1860.915,"body":"So he can't like, come in and be"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1857.905,"endTime":1860.915,"body":"like, \"oh, don't know where it's at.\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1860.935,"endTime":1863.155,"body":"I'm like, is it day one being a parent?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1863.695,"endTime":1864.084,"body":"No."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1867.054,"endTime":1869.034,"body":"Go find the freaking backpack."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1869.125,"endTime":1869.5140000000001,"body":"You know."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1870.324,"endTime":1874.284,"body":"I would like you to just pause"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1870.324,"endTime":1874.284,"body":"on this cuz I know we're laughing cuz"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1874.284,"endTime":1876.355,"body":"Michelle, you know, it's funny as shit."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1877.27,"endTime":1881.7250000000001,"body":"But really you guys listeners who"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1877.27,"endTime":1881.7250000000001,"body":"I love, and this is not your fault."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1881.7250000000001,"endTime":1883.135,"body":"This is the patriarchy."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1883.315,"endTime":1883.555,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1883.585,"endTime":1889.905,"body":"How many of you have heard basic"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1883.585,"endTime":1889.905,"body":"questions about your children this week?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1890.875,"endTime":1892.765,"body":"Or your home running this week?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1893.365,"endTime":1895.525,"body":"Basic question."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1895.825,"endTime":1897.474,"body":"Where's the sunscreen?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1897.835,"endTime":1900.204,"body":"What, where do they keep this?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1900.445,"endTime":1903.204,"body":"What, what door do we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1900.445,"endTime":1903.204,"body":"go for school drop off."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1903.415,"endTime":1905.545,"body":"What's their teacher's name?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1906.665,"endTime":1908.845,"body":"This form needs to be filled out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1908.9940000000001,"endTime":1913.645,"body":"And if they ask for any of the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1908.9940000000001,"endTime":1913.645,"body":"fields, do they have allergies?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1913.885,"endTime":1915.785,"body":"Any of those questions."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1916.464,"endTime":1923.635,"body":"We know those are a giant, giant red flag"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1916.464,"endTime":1923.635,"body":"lights going off fireworks that there's a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1923.635,"endTime":1926.954,"body":"problem of a lack of equity in your home."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1927.825,"endTime":1930.76,"body":"And so I listen all the time"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1927.825,"endTime":1930.76,"body":"to my friends who are like,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1930.849,"endTime":1932.589,"body":"\"oh, he's a really good dad.\""},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1932.829,"endTime":1935.079,"body":"And I was like, name some things for me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1935.14,"endTime":1936.97,"body":"I actually did this at"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1935.14,"endTime":1936.97,"body":"a breakfast one time."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1936.97,"endTime":1938.14,"body":"It didn't go over very well."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1938.32,"endTime":1942.28,"body":"But if we had all been laughing at a dad"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1938.32,"endTime":1942.28,"body":"test on the streets, they were testing"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1942.285,"endTime":1945.88,"body":"dads and they would ask them very basic"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1942.285,"endTime":1945.88,"body":"questions about their children on TikTok."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1945.88,"endTime":1947.95,"body":"And most of the dads didn't"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1945.88,"endTime":1947.95,"body":"know any of the answers."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1948.16,"endTime":1950.23,"body":"And so I did it with"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1948.16,"endTime":1950.23,"body":"some dads at a brunch."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1950.48,"endTime":1954.68,"body":"And I said, who knows their kid's shoe"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1950.48,"endTime":1954.68,"body":"size and those kinds of questions."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1954.829,"endTime":1956.06,"body":"And none of the dads knew."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1956.329,"endTime":1959.3890000000001,"body":"And I did it mostly, cuz I love"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1956.329,"endTime":1959.3890000000001,"body":"highlighting the inequity when I"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1959.3890000000001,"endTime":1961.3990000000001,"body":"can, because it makes me really mad."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1961.94,"endTime":1964.099,"body":"And I was like, how are"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1961.94,"endTime":1964.099,"body":"you guys okay with this?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1964.46,"endTime":1967.73,"body":"And meanwhile, they sat through the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1964.46,"endTime":1967.73,"body":"brunch at the restaurant while the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1967.73,"endTime":1972.1390000000001,"body":"moms wrestled with kids and cleaned up"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1967.73,"endTime":1972.1390000000001,"body":"this spilled juice and went to another"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1972.1390000000001,"endTime":1975.98,"body":"bathroom trip and had the kids stick"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1972.1390000000001,"endTime":1975.98,"body":"their hand in her waffles and like all"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1975.98,"endTime":1982.165,"body":"of those things and the dads had an"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1975.98,"endTime":1982.165,"body":"uninterrupted eating their eggs and bacon,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1982.7350000000001,"endTime":1984.685,"body":"not knowing anything about their children."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1985.075,"endTime":1991.18,"body":"So, those are the things that can"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1985.075,"endTime":1991.18,"body":"indicate how you can choose yourself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":1992.089,"endTime":1992.26,"body":"Yep."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1992.26,"endTime":1994.06,"body":"So we've talked about,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1992.26,"endTime":1994.06,"body":"you know, that feeling of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1994.06,"endTime":1995.1390000000001,"body":"like, I don't really want to."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1995.2,"endTime":1995.92,"body":"Then say no."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1996.04,"endTime":1998.349,"body":"So if you don't wanna volunteer"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1996.04,"endTime":1998.349,"body":"in the PTA, you say no."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1998.41,"endTime":2002.46,"body":"If you don't wanna bring the popcorn to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":1998.41,"endTime":2002.46,"body":"movie night at the school gym, say no."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2002.52,"endTime":2009.1490000000001,"body":"If you don't wanna make the turkey"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2002.52,"endTime":2009.1490000000001,"body":"for some holiday, say no, and everyone"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2009.1490000000001,"endTime":2010.44,"body":"will figure something else out."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2011.01,"endTime":2011.43,"body":"Okay."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2011.52,"endTime":2014.01,"body":"Let's talk about the impact"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2011.52,"endTime":2014.01,"body":"in our last few minutes here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2014.925,"endTime":2018.2250000000001,"body":"Because I know that those"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2014.925,"endTime":2018.2250000000001,"body":"things can feel really selfish."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2018.2250000000001,"endTime":2022.785,"body":"So as we were talking about this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2018.2250000000001,"endTime":2022.785,"body":"prepping for this podcast this week,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2023.385,"endTime":2029.265,"body":"we talked about highlighting what"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2023.385,"endTime":2029.265,"body":"could feel like a motivator for y'all."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2029.545,"endTime":2035.175,"body":"It might feel really scary or selfish to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2029.545,"endTime":2035.175,"body":"say that you're no longer picking up and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2035.175,"endTime":2039.075,"body":"dropping off dry cleaning or the version"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2035.175,"endTime":2039.075,"body":"that feels right for you in your life."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2040.7250000000001,"endTime":2047.175,"body":"What are some of the rewards, I should"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2040.7250000000001,"endTime":2047.175,"body":"say, that might motivate some of us"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2047.175,"endTime":2049.6349999999998,"body":"to adopt some of these practices?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2050.235,"endTime":2051.7039999999997,"body":"You'll feel so much better."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2053.325,"endTime":2054.765,"body":"You'll feel so much better."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2055.305,"endTime":2063.075,"body":"Um, I can clearly reflect on when I"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2055.305,"endTime":2063.075,"body":"was in full on give mode versus now."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2063.435,"endTime":2064.875,"body":"My voice is stronger."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2065.2039999999997,"endTime":2066.645,"body":"My body is healthier."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2067.574,"endTime":2073.4249999999997,"body":"I've been able to just focus on what"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2067.574,"endTime":2073.4249999999997,"body":"I want to do, which has led me to"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2073.4249999999997,"endTime":2074.895,"body":"this work of being a birth worker."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2074.895,"endTime":2078.145,"body":"Whereas before I was"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2074.895,"endTime":2078.145,"body":"comfortable being uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2079.055,"endTime":2081.865,"body":"Like, that was the phrase I used"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2079.055,"endTime":2081.865,"body":"to tell \"Oh, do you have a job?"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2081.865,"endTime":2082.6949999999997,"body":"Do you have a passion?\""},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2082.6949999999997,"endTime":2085.185,"body":"Oh, I'm just comfortable"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2082.6949999999997,"endTime":2085.185,"body":"being uncomfortable right now."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2085.4539999999997,"endTime":2087.795,"body":"And they'd be like what I'm like, yeah."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2087.795,"endTime":2090.615,"body":"I just, I don't have time or"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2087.795,"endTime":2090.615,"body":"space for anything else right now."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2091.305,"endTime":2094.935,"body":"And it wasn't until like my eyes were"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2091.305,"endTime":2094.935,"body":"opened and I saw that I was heading"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2094.935,"endTime":2099.645,"body":"towards, you know, deep despair,"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2094.935,"endTime":2099.645,"body":"um, that I knew I needed to break"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2099.645,"endTime":2102.014,"body":"free and pick things for myself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2102.014,"endTime":2105.595,"body":"Pick myself, choose myself before others."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2106.615,"endTime":2109.274,"body":"And that's challenging to acknowledge."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2109.785,"endTime":2112.9649999999997,"body":"And societal stuff is like, oh my gosh."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2112.9649999999997,"endTime":2114.285,"body":"And I'm like, no, I can anymore."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2114.6749999999997,"endTime":2117.314,"body":"I can't, it's just not possible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2118.0049999999997,"endTime":2120.4049999999997,"body":"I wanna highlight"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2118.0049999999997,"endTime":2120.4049999999997,"body":"what Michelle is doing."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2120.4049999999997,"endTime":2121.875,"body":"So Michelle has a love of giving."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2121.875,"endTime":2123.4339999999997,"body":"We all do all of us here."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2123.524,"endTime":2127.484,"body":"And, and most of you listening are drawn"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2123.524,"endTime":2127.484,"body":"to doing some kind of helping work."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2128.024,"endTime":2134.745,"body":"So Michelle, in choosing making these"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2128.024,"endTime":2134.745,"body":"small choices and creating the bandwidth."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2135.1349999999998,"endTime":2139.995,"body":"She actually, before where she was"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2135.1349999999998,"endTime":2139.995,"body":"cycloning in of sadness and, you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2139.995,"endTime":2142.395,"body":"know, gift cards and water bottles."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2142.875,"endTime":2146.055,"body":"Instead, that shit is still happening."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2146.055,"endTime":2147.585,"body":"It just looks a bit different."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2147.825,"endTime":2150.4049999999997,"body":"The, the teachers, I guarantee"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2147.825,"endTime":2150.4049999999997,"body":"all got gifts and her kids"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2150.4049999999997,"endTime":2151.335,"body":"always have their water bottles."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2152.1,"endTime":2154.08,"body":"She passed it on to her partner."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2154.1699999999996,"endTime":2159.2599999999998,"body":"She passed it on to her sister and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2154.1699999999996,"endTime":2159.2599999999998,"body":"friends and passed shit back to the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2159.2599999999998,"endTime":2161.0099999999998,"body":"people so she didn't need to carry it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2161.31,"endTime":2166.62,"body":"And now she's changing the face of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2161.31,"endTime":2166.62,"body":"reproductive justice in Austin, Texas,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2166.83,"endTime":2174.415,"body":"and she has saved lives of many,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2166.83,"endTime":2174.415,"body":"many black women and their children."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2174.6839999999997,"endTime":2176.6949999999997,"body":"She witnessed their births."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2176.8149999999996,"endTime":2178.7639999999997,"body":"She witnessed their parenting."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2179.0049999999997,"endTime":2184.615,"body":"She intervened in critical"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2179.0049999999997,"endTime":2184.615,"body":"situations with harm from doctors"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2184.7639999999997,"endTime":2190.615,"body":"harm, from nurses, harm from"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2184.7639999999997,"endTime":2190.615,"body":"institutions, unchecked mental crises."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2190.62,"endTime":2197.214,"body":"Like that is what she now has the space to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2190.62,"endTime":2197.214,"body":"give because she does wanna give, but it"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2197.214,"endTime":2204.075,"body":"has the appropriate direction, cuz she's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2197.214,"endTime":2204.075,"body":"not drowning in really small time shit."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2204.285,"endTime":2207.2239999999997,"body":"But a mountain of small time"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2204.285,"endTime":2207.2239999999997,"body":"shit, and your day is gone and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2207.2239999999997,"endTime":2210.555,"body":"now she can pass off that stuff."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2210.9739999999997,"endTime":2213.705,"body":"And still, she runs a really"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2210.9739999999997,"endTime":2213.705,"body":"beautiful home and she takes"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2213.71,"endTime":2217.125,"body":"amazing care of her children and she"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2213.71,"endTime":2217.125,"body":"spends lots of time with them, but"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2217.1299999999997,"endTime":2219.4049999999997,"body":"she's living this massive purpose."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2220.229,"endTime":2221.1299999999997,"body":"Thank you, Bianca."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2221.339,"endTime":2222.24,"body":"That's powerful."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2222.75,"endTime":2224.91,"body":"I can't ever talk about"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2222.75,"endTime":2224.91,"body":"myself like that, like ever."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2224.91,"endTime":2225.33,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2226.45,"endTime":2227.99,"body":"I saw that and jumped in there."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2228.2189999999996,"endTime":2228.83,"body":"It's true."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2228.839,"endTime":2232.08,"body":"I mean it, legit legit is 1000% true."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2232.259,"endTime":2237.0589999999997,"body":"There's no way I could be where"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2232.259,"endTime":2237.0589999999997,"body":"I'm at today and continue to"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2237.0589999999997,"endTime":2239.2599999999998,"body":"be drowned in tears and drool."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2239.2799999999997,"endTime":2240.6899999999996,"body":"Like I was a couple years ago."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2241.3399999999997,"endTime":2242.49,"body":"It's  just not possible."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2242.9399999999996,"endTime":2245.0989999999997,"body":"And some folks go, oh, it's"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2242.9399999999996,"endTime":2245.0989999999997,"body":"cuz your kids are older."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2245.16,"endTime":2246.5539999999996,"body":"No, that's nothing to do with it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2246.5539999999996,"endTime":2248.8799999999997,"body":"It has absolutely nothing to do with it."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2248.91,"endTime":2252.5099999999998,"body":"The fact that the kids are older or"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2248.91,"endTime":2252.5099999999998,"body":"that I'm older, it's the fact that I've"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2252.5139999999997,"endTime":2259.9199999999996,"body":"made choices to choose myself choices"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2252.5139999999997,"endTime":2259.9199999999996,"body":"that validate my emotions and my rage."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2260.37,"endTime":2263.8799999999997,"body":"And now my passions are"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2260.37,"endTime":2263.8799999999997,"body":"able to just keep growing."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2264.3889999999997,"endTime":2270.5699999999997,"body":"Without being hindered"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2264.3889999999997,"endTime":2270.5699999999997,"body":"by shame, guilt, fear."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2270.5989999999997,"endTime":2271.5299999999997,"body":"Fear is huge."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2272.0099999999998,"endTime":2275.7599999999998,"body":"Also the fear of the unknown, I"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2272.0099999999998,"endTime":2275.7599999999998,"body":"think when you choose yourself as"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2275.7599999999998,"endTime":2277.83,"body":"powerful, it holds a lot of women back."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2278.729,"endTime":2279.33,"body":"A lot."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2279.54,"endTime":2282.1499999999996,"body":"Like, I don't know what it'll"},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2279.54,"endTime":2282.1499999999996,"body":"be like when I choose myself."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2282.5099999999998,"endTime":2284.1699999999996,"body":"It's freaking awesome."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2285.04,"endTime":2287.6499999999996,"body":"Like , it's freaking awesome."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2288.62,"endTime":2290.799,"body":"Yeah, Amy, if you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2288.62,"endTime":2290.799,"body":"could just talk about this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2290.83,"endTime":2292.0589999999997,"body":"What's scary?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2292.089,"endTime":2294.6899999999996,"body":"Like there's some comfortability"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2292.089,"endTime":2294.6899999999996,"body":"in not choosing ourselves."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2296.0989999999997,"endTime":2298.049,"body":"And I know that, that you highlight that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2298.049,"endTime":2299.3399999999997,"body":"Do you wanna talk a little bit about that?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2299.8199999999997,"endTime":2300.4199999999996,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2300.6299999999997,"endTime":2304.62,"body":"Um, and I, before I say that I,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2300.6299999999997,"endTime":2304.62,"body":"before I get to that, I just wanna"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2304.6789999999996,"endTime":2309.33,"body":"like offer for the folks listening,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2304.6789999999996,"endTime":2309.33,"body":"cuz it can feel really scary."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2309.33,"endTime":2310.8889999999997,"body":"Change is scary, right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2311.1299999999997,"endTime":2313.229,"body":"It, we show up differently."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2313.229,"endTime":2315.0,"body":"We feel differently about it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2315.0,"endTime":2316.8599999999997,"body":"It can be deeply uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2316.8599999999997,"endTime":2317.79,"body":"There can be guilt."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2317.79,"endTime":2322.54,"body":"There can be shame all of those things"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2317.79,"endTime":2322.54,"body":"and it will impact other people."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2322.54,"endTime":2327.8199999999997,"body":"So like there is an adjustment period,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2322.54,"endTime":2327.8199999999997,"body":"but I think, you know, building on"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2327.8199999999997,"endTime":2333.16,"body":"what Bianca said about what's now"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2327.8199999999997,"endTime":2333.16,"body":"possible in Michelle's life as a result"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2333.16,"endTime":2337.87,"body":"of the changes that she's made and"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2333.16,"endTime":2337.87,"body":"choosing herself, I think that's a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2337.87,"endTime":2339.8199999999997,"body":"really helpful entry point for people."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2339.8199999999997,"endTime":2345.285,"body":"So just like take that and imagine what"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2339.8199999999997,"endTime":2345.285,"body":"might be possible in your own life if"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2345.285,"endTime":2350.4449999999997,"body":"you were no longer drowning with all the"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2345.285,"endTime":2350.4449999999997,"body":"little shit that adds up every single day."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2350.595,"endTime":2352.845,"body":"And like, let that be fuel for you."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2352.875,"endTime":2357.104,"body":"Cuz sometimes jumping into action can"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2352.875,"endTime":2357.104,"body":"be really hard, but just imagine like"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2357.104,"endTime":2361.335,"body":"let your mind wander, like what would"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2357.104,"endTime":2361.335,"body":"be possible if you were no longer doing"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2361.335,"endTime":2365.4739999999997,"body":"the fancy lunches and you no longer"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2361.335,"endTime":2365.4739999999997,"body":"said yes to shit you didn't want to."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2365.6549999999997,"endTime":2369.1349999999998,"body":"How much time and energy and space"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2365.6549999999997,"endTime":2369.1349999999998,"body":"you would free up for yourself."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2370.035,"endTime":2375.4199999999996,"body":"Um, so back to what you said,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2370.035,"endTime":2375.4199999999996,"body":"Bianca, which was: comfortability."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2375.8399999999997,"endTime":2375.99,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2375.99,"endTime":2377.519,"body":"Like our victim story's comfortable."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2379.08,"endTime":2380.5499999999997,"body":"Well, yeah, that's the thing."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2380.5499999999997,"endTime":2385.95,"body":"I mean, Michelle said she was comfortable"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2380.5499999999997,"endTime":2385.95,"body":"being uncomfortable and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2386.04,"endTime":2392.1299999999997,"body":"that, that discomfort or that burnout"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2386.04,"endTime":2392.1299999999997,"body":"is so much more familiar and we know"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2392.1299999999997,"endTime":2396.33,"body":"exactly what to expect and it's terrible"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2392.1299999999997,"endTime":2396.33,"body":"and we're suffering, but we know it."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2396.75,"endTime":2397.2,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2397.2,"endTime":2399.96,"body":"We know exactly what it"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2397.2,"endTime":2399.96,"body":"feels like, and it's awful."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2399.96,"endTime":2407.8489999999997,"body":"And we drudge through it and it can"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2399.96,"endTime":2407.8489999999997,"body":"feel like enough to keep us there"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2407.8489999999997,"endTime":2411.8999999999996,"body":"because the uncertainty of change is"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2407.8489999999997,"endTime":2411.8999999999996,"body":"really hard and not knowing what it's"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2411.8999999999996,"endTime":2417.25,"body":"gonna look like, not knowing how to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2411.8999999999996,"endTime":2417.25,"body":"navigate those conversations, the impact"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2417.269,"endTime":2419.4289999999996,"body":"it might have on other relationships."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2419.519,"endTime":2423.75,"body":"And, you know, for you Bianca you're like,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2419.519,"endTime":2423.75,"body":"I never really had the time or space to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2423.75,"endTime":2425.9399999999996,"body":"worry about what other moms thought of me."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2426.3889999999997,"endTime":2428.075,"body":"But like, I think that's,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2428.075,"endTime":2429.4849999999997,"body":"It was because I was so burnt out."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2432.125,"endTime":2435.5449999999996,"body":"But I think that's like a"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2432.125,"endTime":2435.5449999999996,"body":"real fear for lots of folks, right?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2435.5449999999996,"endTime":2436.205,"body":"Oh, it is!"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2436.535,"endTime":2438.0939999999996,"body":"What are other people gonna think?"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2438.455,"endTime":2438.634,"body":"For sure."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2438.634,"endTime":2441.754,"body":"And so sometimes it's like,"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2438.634,"endTime":2441.754,"body":"well, they currently think I'm"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2441.754,"endTime":2445.714,"body":"a great mom, even though I'm"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2441.754,"endTime":2445.714,"body":"suffering and struggling privately."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2445.924,"endTime":2450.604,"body":"And that's more comfortable for me than"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2445.924,"endTime":2450.604,"body":"taking a stand for myself and saying"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2450.604,"endTime":2453.1839999999997,"body":"no, when they're used to me saying yes."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2453.394,"endTime":2455.884,"body":"So it can be deeply uncomfortable."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2456.72,"endTime":2462.54,"body":"And I guess, you know, and as"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2456.72,"endTime":2462.54,"body":"cliche as this sounds like we"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2462.54,"endTime":2464.9399999999996,"body":"get to choose our discomfort."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2465.5699999999997,"endTime":2465.96,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2465.96,"endTime":2471.5699999999997,"body":"We get to choose if we wanna like stay in"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2465.96,"endTime":2471.5699999999997,"body":"the old pattern of like, I'm uncomfortable"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2471.5699999999997,"endTime":2475.2,"body":"because I'm burned out and I keep"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2471.5699999999997,"endTime":2475.2,"body":"saying yes, when I should be saying no."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2475.205,"endTime":2479.7,"body":"Or I'm uncomfortable now because"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2475.205,"endTime":2479.7,"body":"I'm trying this new thing, which"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2479.705,"endTime":2481.5899999999997,"body":"actually is in service to me."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2481.6789999999996,"endTime":2485.8039999999996,"body":"And I just need to navigate"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2481.6789999999996,"endTime":2485.8039999999996,"body":"the discomfort, which will"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2485.8039999999996,"endTime":2487.9049999999997,"body":"eventually end, right?"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2488.115,"endTime":2491.205,"body":"The thing about the burnout"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2488.115,"endTime":2491.205,"body":"discomfort, that's not gonna end"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2491.205,"endTime":2492.825,"body":"until you do something differently."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2492.915,"endTime":2494.5939999999996,"body":"It's only gonna get worse."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2494.924,"endTime":2498.7639999999997,"body":"Whereas the other change is"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2494.924,"endTime":2498.7639999999997,"body":"like, this will feel better."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2498.825,"endTime":2502.544,"body":"Eventually I will acclimate to"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2498.825,"endTime":2502.544,"body":"what this feels like, and it"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2502.544,"endTime":2504.495,"body":"won't be uncomfortable forever."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2504.825,"endTime":2507.104,"body":"And I think that that's an"},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2504.825,"endTime":2507.104,"body":"important piece to remember."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2508.019,"endTime":2509.7,"body":"Yeah, that's a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2508.019,"endTime":2509.7,"body":"really, really good point."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2510.0,"endTime":2513.5989999999997,"body":"So we wanna make sure that all of you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2510.0,"endTime":2513.5989999999997,"body":"have these gentle reminders of how we"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2513.5989999999997,"endTime":2515.6699999999996,"body":"can make sure we have time for ourselves."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2515.9689999999996,"endTime":2519.1499999999996,"body":"And one of the ways you can do"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2515.9689999999996,"endTime":2519.1499999999996,"body":"that is joining our book club."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2519.1499999999996,"endTime":2520.8889999999997,"body":"We have coming up at the end of the month."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2521.16,"endTime":2524.0099999999998,"body":"Grab your copy of \"Come as You Are\" by Dr."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2524.0099999999998,"endTime":2525.269,"body":"Emily Nagoski."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2525.479,"endTime":2526.83,"body":"It's a fabulous read."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2527.1499999999996,"endTime":2530.479,"body":"Join us for one of our"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2527.1499999999996,"endTime":2530.479,"body":"free webinars this month."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2530.479,"endTime":2535.49,"body":"We will be talking about doula"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2530.479,"endTime":2535.49,"body":"work and informed consent."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2535.5499999999997,"endTime":2540.08,"body":"And you will hear all about our three"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2535.5499999999997,"endTime":2540.08,"body":"in one doula certification, our MSP"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2540.08,"endTime":2542.54,"body":"program, which starts September 22nd."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2543.019,"endTime":2546.5299999999997,"body":"So join us for one of the free"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2543.019,"endTime":2546.5299999999997,"body":"webinars, you can grab your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2546.5299999999997,"endTime":2551.1899999999996,"body":"spot at bebomia.com/freewebinar."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2551.5699999999997,"endTime":2553.79,"body":"So we've made some tools"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2551.5699999999997,"endTime":2553.79,"body":"to help you with this."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2554.1499999999996,"endTime":2559.46,"body":"I love we, we had the tool and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2554.1499999999996,"endTime":2559.46,"body":"then Amy named it, \"The Choose You"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2559.4649999999997,"endTime":2561.95,"body":"Menu\", which I thought was real fun."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2562.009,"endTime":2563.45,"body":"It had a nice ring to it."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2564.33,"endTime":2572.205,"body":"So we have this as a beautiful little"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2564.33,"endTime":2572.205,"body":"PDF and we have both big and small things"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2572.415,"endTime":2577.785,"body":"that you can apply to just have some of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2572.415,"endTime":2577.785,"body":"the things like flagging points for you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2578.115,"endTime":2582.285,"body":"So some of the things that you could"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2578.115,"endTime":2582.285,"body":"choose that before you might have"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2582.285,"endTime":2586.125,"body":"deemed a selfish or that you would've"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2582.285,"endTime":2586.125,"body":"put on the list, but by the end of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2586.125,"endTime":2587.5649999999996,"body":"the day, you didn't get to them."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2588.4339999999997,"endTime":2591.884,"body":"Everything else came first, whatever"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2588.4339999999997,"endTime":2591.884,"body":"it is, walking the neighbor's dog,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2591.884,"endTime":2596.384,"body":"running to the vet, picking this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2591.884,"endTime":2596.384,"body":"up, you know, whatever, all the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2596.3889999999997,"endTime":2599.924,"body":"millions of things that we have to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2596.3889999999997,"endTime":2599.924,"body":"do and that we do for other people."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2600.285,"endTime":2604.754,"body":"Um, so they're the like start small,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2600.285,"endTime":2604.754,"body":"even if you wanna start with 15 minutes a"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2604.754,"endTime":2607.455,"body":"day, cuz that feels comfortable, do that."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2607.8149999999996,"endTime":2612.254,"body":"And the goal of this tool is to support"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2607.8149999999996,"endTime":2612.254,"body":"our students who are going through their"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2612.254,"endTime":2614.354,"body":"programs in finishing their programs."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2615.3149999999996,"endTime":2618.375,"body":"We want you to finish your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2615.3149999999996,"endTime":2618.375,"body":"program because at the end of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2618.375,"endTime":2620.8039999999996,"body":"it, you A) have a revenue stream."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2621.1349999999998,"endTime":2625.3039999999996,"body":"B) you get to do something that's yours"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2621.1349999999998,"endTime":2625.3039999999996,"body":"and really empowering when you get to"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2625.3039999999996,"endTime":2629.625,"body":"like, you know, follow through with your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2625.3039999999996,"endTime":2629.625,"body":"why of why you're on this, on this planet."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2629.955,"endTime":2632.5049999999997,"body":"And C) the impact is incredible."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2632.595,"endTime":2637.035,"body":"You'll be changing the lives for"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2632.595,"endTime":2637.035,"body":"so many folks, if not saving their"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2637.035,"endTime":2642.99,"body":"lives by witnessing their fertility,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2637.035,"endTime":2642.99,"body":"pregnancy, birth and postpartum periods."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2643.229,"endTime":2645.12,"body":"So we have, this is."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2645.2,"endTime":2648.209,"body":"It's one of our whys of why"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2645.2,"endTime":2648.209,"body":"we made the \"Choose You Menu\"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2648.479,"endTime":2652.049,"body":"We also wanna support our alumni"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2648.479,"endTime":2652.049,"body":"in finishing and building their"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2652.0539999999996,"endTime":2655.1099999999997,"body":"jobs and careers and practices."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2655.3199999999997,"endTime":2659.549,"body":"And then we wanna find the people that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2655.3199999999997,"endTime":2659.549,"body":"are listening, who, you know, we might"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2659.549,"endTime":2662.729,"body":"know you personally, or know your"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2659.549,"endTime":2662.729,"body":"stories and those of you who we don't,"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2663.12,"endTime":2665.879,"body":"we know what your experience is like."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2666.209,"endTime":2671.4449999999997,"body":"We hear it all the time and we would"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2666.209,"endTime":2671.4449999999997,"body":"love to have you experience joy, to have"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2671.4449999999997,"endTime":2677.2639999999997,"body":"some breathing room, to do something that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2671.4449999999997,"endTime":2677.2639999999997,"body":"it just might seem like so out there."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2677.504,"endTime":2680.415,"body":"Including doing leisure"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2677.504,"endTime":2680.415,"body":"activities in your home."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2681.1499999999996,"endTime":2682.2,"body":"With your family there."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2682.2,"endTime":2684.5989999999997,"body":"It doesn't mean you"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2682.2,"endTime":2684.5989999999997,"body":"always have to be leaving."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2684.87,"endTime":2687.99,"body":"That it just becomes okay that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2684.87,"endTime":2687.99,"body":"you're sitting at the dining room"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2687.99,"endTime":2692.6389999999997,"body":"table scrapbooking, and that nobody"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2687.99,"endTime":2692.6389999999997,"body":"else needs to be doing it with you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2692.91,"endTime":2695.729,"body":"And this doesn't mean hand over"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2692.91,"endTime":2695.729,"body":"hand that your children are as well."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2696.0299999999997,"endTime":2699.0299999999997,"body":"And that the dishes are getting"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2696.0299999999997,"endTime":2699.0299999999997,"body":"done and they're all chattering"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2699.0299999999997,"endTime":2704.0699999999997,"body":"around while, you're doing something"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2699.0299999999997,"endTime":2704.0699999999997,"body":"that you wanna do for no other"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2704.0699999999997,"endTime":2706.3999999999996,"body":"reason, except that you wanna do."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2707.6549999999997,"endTime":2709.2749999999996,"body":"I feel like that's like the utopia."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2709.365,"endTime":2711.705,"body":"If I could see that in all homes!"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2712.7749999999996,"endTime":2716.115,"body":"That someone else is folding"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2712.7749999999996,"endTime":2716.115,"body":"the laundry and they're talking"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2716.115,"endTime":2717.585,"body":"and it's fun and it's fine."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2718.0649999999996,"endTime":2722.0249999999996,"body":"And you are just like, co-existing the"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2718.0649999999996,"endTime":2722.0249999999996,"body":"way everyone else gets to in the home."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2722.7149999999997,"endTime":2724.8149999999996,"body":"That is the dream for me."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2724.8199999999997,"endTime":2727.0049999999997,"body":"And that's what I would"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2724.8199999999997,"endTime":2727.0049999999997,"body":"love for all of you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2727.6349999999998,"endTime":2731.6839999999997,"body":"So thank you, Michelle, for"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2727.6349999999998,"endTime":2731.6839999999997,"body":"sharing your story so vulnerably."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2731.745,"endTime":2736.095,"body":"And Michelle is doing it so, so, so right."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2736.2149999999997,"endTime":2737.625,"body":"And it's awesome."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2737.625,"endTime":2741.345,"body":"And it's messy and it's clunky"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2737.625,"endTime":2741.345,"body":"and it's a learning curve."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2741.585,"endTime":2746.5649999999996,"body":"I also wanna shout out Meg and Max"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2741.585,"endTime":2746.5649999999996,"body":"Kant cuz they're another family that"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2746.6549999999997,"endTime":2751.665,"body":"just wows me year over year, as, as"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2746.6549999999997,"endTime":2751.665,"body":"Meg started saying no, and even this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2751.665,"endTime":2755.7749999999996,"body":"summer they've had just amazing growth"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2751.665,"endTime":2755.7749999999996,"body":"as they've continued to just pass"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2755.7749999999996,"endTime":2760.74,"body":"things off to folks that need to hold"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2755.7749999999996,"endTime":2760.74,"body":"them so that Meg doesn't have to."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2761.1,"endTime":2763.14,"body":"So, um, just amazing work."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2763.14,"endTime":2766.68,"body":"And Amy, thank you for all the support"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2763.14,"endTime":2766.68,"body":"you do for folks that identify as women."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2767.2639999999997,"endTime":2772.035,"body":"And making sure that they find joy when"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2767.2639999999997,"endTime":2772.035,"body":"they might have found themselves in an"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2772.035,"endTime":2777.884,"body":"extra spot of despair, due to addiction"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2772.035,"endTime":2777.884,"body":"as a tool to overcome this burnout"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2777.884,"endTime":2780.3439999999996,"body":"sadness and, and mental health crisis."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2780.705,"endTime":2782.085,"body":"It is not your fault to everybody."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2782.205,"endTime":2785.325,"body":"You're wonderful and perfect and"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2782.205,"endTime":2785.325,"body":"whole, and I know that you do this"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2785.33,"endTime":2788.955,"body":"because you love so big and you wanna"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2785.33,"endTime":2788.955,"body":"take care of everyone around you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2789.4339999999997,"endTime":2792.7639999999997,"body":"And as Michelle said, It's"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2789.4339999999997,"endTime":2792.7639999999997,"body":"time to take care of yourself."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2793.2149999999997,"endTime":2794.1749999999997,"body":"So we got you."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2794.4449999999997,"endTime":2798.7549999999997,"body":"If you wanna reach out, you can always"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2794.4449999999997,"endTime":2798.7549999999997,"body":"get ahold of us at info@bebomia.com."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2799.125,"endTime":2802.785,"body":"We would love to hear what happened"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2799.125,"endTime":2802.785,"body":"for you if you started adopting"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2802.79,"endTime":2804.104,"body":"some of the \"Choose you menu\"."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2804.104,"endTime":2810.134,"body":"So please feel free to always share"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2804.104,"endTime":2810.134,"body":"your stories and we would also love if"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2810.134,"endTime":2814.1839999999997,"body":"you headed over after this interview"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2810.134,"endTime":2814.1839999999997,"body":"and left a review, we'll be sending"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2814.1839999999997,"endTime":2818.415,"body":"out some awesome swag for all of"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2814.1839999999997,"endTime":2818.415,"body":"the folks who leave us a review."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2818.6839999999997,"endTime":2823.0939999999996,"body":"So get your free sticker today in"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2818.6839999999997,"endTime":2823.0939999999996,"body":"the mail, and we would love to get"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2823.0939999999996,"endTime":2827.504,"body":"your five stars and your favorite"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2823.0939999999996,"endTime":2827.504,"body":"parts about our podcast episodes."},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2827.835,"endTime":2834.3149999999996,"body":"Congratulations on these tiny steps"},{"speaker":"Bianca","startTime":2827.835,"endTime":2834.3149999999996,"body":"to finding joy . Thank you everybody."},{"speaker":"Amy","startTime":2835.004,"endTime":2835.785,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2836.6749999999997,"endTime":2836.825,"body":"Bye."},{"speaker":"Michelle","startTime":2836.83,"endTime":2837.075,"body":"Bye."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2840.245,"endTime":2841.7749999999996,"body":"Wanna keep hanging out with us?"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2842.495,"endTime":2847.115,"body":"Find us at www.bebomia.com or head"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2842.495,"endTime":2847.115,"body":"over to your favorite social media"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2847.115,"endTime":2850.0649999999996,"body":"platform with the handle @BeboMiaInc."},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2852.0049999999997,"endTime":2854.995,"body":"We will see you next time"},{"speaker":"Narrator","startTime":2852.0049999999997,"endTime":2854.995,"body":"on the Hot+Brave podcast."}]}