Win Totals

NFL offseason sucks. Except for the weather. The Dork and Dude are here with win totals and other season bets we like. There will be side bets.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:46

I got a game.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

What?

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Land of the Giants?

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Close. I almost did that one. Time tunnel. Time tunnel, okay. And the key was the ticking of the clock. Oh, okay. Project TikTok.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

That's a good team name a few years ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yeah, well, how did it work out for you, Dork? I forget. Not good, I remember.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Okay, that's possible.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

That's why you're Dork 316.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Okay, hey, welcome to Fantasy Football with the Dork and the Dude. Uh the draft is over, the schedule's been released, and we're gonna jump into the wind totals along with other futures bets. Uh for you to get on it early. Now, me personally, had a good year last year. I'm reinvesting house money. I've already got 600 invested in futures, Dork.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Let's rock and roll. Let's let's run it down, uh, Dork, according to DraftKings order?

SPEAKER_03 1:41

Yeah, I'm gonna what I'm just gonna do. I was just gonna do is go Dork. Um, oh boy. Um Apple. Apple. Spotify. Yep, YouTube, YouTube, of course, Stitcher, iHeart, Amazon, Google, and Buzzprout. And I think I I think I'm gonna try and put us on Substack.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

Do it! Yeah, uh well, we'll get together and do that. Yeah, uh before the show, one of them. Yeah. Okay, so anyway, welcome. Uh uh our numbers are growing by leaps and bounds, as uh Rush Limbaugh used to say, Dork. And uh uh would like to really thank our our our boy in Frankfurt, uh Germany.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, and I've had Frankfurt on mine. I've had big, strong men come up to me with tears in their eyes and say, Dork, it is unbelievable what you two are doing, the numbers you're getting. Awesome, Dork. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Just the fact that you're known around town as Dork. As Dork says it all.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

I mean, it's working.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

It is working.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

All right, let's run them down.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Okay, I'm gonna start in the AFC and just go division by division. Sweet. Starting with the east, ending in the west.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

And oh, also, do you have a sheet for our side bets or do I need to give you one?

SPEAKER_03 2:58

I I'm gonna uh I got this little steno note I stole from from work.

SPEAKER_02 3:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 3:04

And uh I was thinking this could be this could be our side bet.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Side bet officials for the season. Side bets and predictions. We usually have about 100, 120 in side bets by the time the season kicks.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

2026. Okay. There we go, brother. So um I will write them down here. You can keep it here. Sounds like a plan. Okay, let's uh jump right into the over-unders. This is from DraftKings Buffalo. And on DraftKings, they got a nice feature. We're like Buffalo's 10.5, but you can go up and down if you want to if you think they're gonna just really be a mess, you can bet them under five and a half. It's called uh alternate totals. Alternate totals, but this is the one in the middle. Uh 10 and a half for Buffalo. And what's the juice? Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

That's important, Dorcan. That's important to you, man.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

But do it's do we think they're gonna win more than ten and a half or less than ten and a half?

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Well, but the difference between having to pay minus one forty and getting plus one ten is huge.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Oh, I know.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Okay, but anyway, uh I'm I'm kind of on a roll since I beat Fez last year.

SPEAKER_03 4:11

I know, I know, that's huge.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Okay, uh, what do you think? Over underdoor.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

I'm going over. It's I am too. I I kinda I I like the move they made with the coaches. I got I got a good feeling about it. Yep. Uh they got a they overpaid and they're paying him too much money, but they do have a legitimate number one receiver in DJ Moore. Yeah, they do. And that that was a crying need on the team.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

Big time. Uh I actually bet them uh and I bumped it up to over 11 and a half. I think they're going 12 and 5, baby, and I got plus 155.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Do it. That's that's that's some good juice to have.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Yeah. I mean, if they can win 11, they can easily win 12.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Their schedule's not bad. Uh uh we'll see how Brady does as hit head coach now.

SPEAKER_05 4:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Uh but uh I'm uh I like the DJ Moore move. They uh they drafted well. Yeah. So yeah, I'm over two.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

Uh Miami at four and a half. What do you think? I'm going under. I don't like going under that low.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

I am too. I think they'll go uh four and thirteen.

SPEAKER_03 5:18

Yeah, I I just see uh they're they've basically uh are cashing it in.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yeah, they're rebuilding, it's a total teardown. Yeah, except they kept HAC.

SPEAKER_03 5:28

And the only thing that gives me pause is they do have a decent quarterback in Malik Willis.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

They do, but he's he hasn't played a full season.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

No.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

And he likes to run a lot, which means he could end up like Jaden Daniels and get his ass knocked out at least once a year.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Got that right. Next, New England, 10.5. What was it, 10 and a half? Yeah, it jumped up. See, yesterday I checked, they were not even on the board. They opened at 9 and a half. They opened at 9.5. They are 10 and a half now. Wow. Um, I like the under on that. They have all they show all the signs of a uh of a Super Bowl loser, you know, pathetically easy schedule last year.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

It was the easiest.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

And uh they had some luck.

SPEAKER_03 6:13

And and you know what I love?

SPEAKER_02 6:14

That they avoided major injuries?

SPEAKER_03 6:17

When um when it all goes down, they're like uh seven and ten. Right. Because they they just aren't as good as all that.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

They're fine, but yeah, and then you bring in uh a cancer like A.J. Brown.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Yeah. Uh but um what I was saying is once it's all said and done, they're all gonna blame that reporter, uh Rossini.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Oh yeah. Well, they've already thrown her under the bus.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

I know.

SPEAKER_02 6:40

And Grable's just kind of like lurking in the shadows, going, uh, I'm not touching this with a 10-foot pole.

SPEAKER_03 6:46

And if they're good, he'll be the redemption story.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

Oh, they'll rally around the coach who had adversity and family problems, and uh, you can see the second one against my never know what you're doing. Well, the talk is that uh Deshaun Watts is probably gonna start.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yeah, and he was a once great quarterback.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

I think he's better than the other clowns on there, Dellen and Shadur.

SPEAKER_03 9:41

But they also have two rookies from last year who weren't terrible. One of them he'd have been a first-round pick if not for all the drama around him. Right. So their defense is awesome. Their defense is one of the best in the league. Yeah, I like them.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

I'm just wondering, can they score over 16 points a fucking game?

SPEAKER_03 10:03

Well, they they've been bringing in a lot of good weapons, but we'll see.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

Especially with a wide receiver. Yeah. They drafted a couple uh in what first and third round, I think.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

Okay, Dor, go.

SPEAKER_03 10:14

Uh Pittsburgh, eight and a half. I'm under. Me too. Yeah, I just I just don't like what's going on there.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Bringing back Aaron Rodgers is bullshit. Uh uh, why don't you give up a couple of first round picks, move up? Well, there wasn't anyone really to grab, but uh uh uh why didn't you have an alternative plan other than a 34-year-old fucking quarterback?

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Well, I think that did they draft uh Aller, Drew Aller, are they the team that they did, and they drafted uh Will Howard last year.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

It sounds like Howard's gonna be the backup. Yeah. Uh I I would have just said Aaron Rodgers, you know, go uh right off in the fucking sunset. We're gonna just go with Will Howard, see what the motherfucker's got because we ain't gonna get the playoffs, and we do ain't winning Jack.

SPEAKER_03 11:04

Yep. Okay, on to the AFC South. Is there any division more difficult to predict than this one? I don't think so. It's tough. Um, anyways, Houston, nine and a half. I'm going under. I'm going over. I I think this is too low. I think this is a good team.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Their defense is solid. Uh Shroud uh uh unraveled. In the playoffs, yeah. Yeah, but even during the regular season, they didn't play with their shit. And uh offensive line hell, there's a lot of quarterbacks uh that succeed without that. Uh Joe Burrow's a good example. Yeah uh uh that's a lame ass excuse. The cat regressed. Okay, well I think they're going over.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

In fact, I think they're winning the division. Do you are you confident enough to throw a side bet down on that? No, it's a number nine and a half.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

And what's the oh you don't know the juice?

SPEAKER_03 11:58

I don't know the juice, but that's not gonna be in the bet. It's just gonna be over in our bet.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Uh you'll have to get me ten give me ten, uh which means that if they if they go ten and seven, we push.

SPEAKER_03 12:10

How about this? I say Houston wins a division.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Well, we haven't got to divisions yet. Okay. That's a whole other segment, which I have a whole deal on, Dor.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Oh, oh boy, I look forward to that.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Yeah. Okay, moving along. No, hold on. Uh how about this? Over under 10. No. If they hit 10, we break even. No. Because I'm giving you probably one th minus 130 juice. I don't care. No, you're not. The line is nine and a half. It's over under. Yeah, no, but the it's juiced. Okay. Which means it's not an even uh bet. I'm a gambler, Doric. I ain't no fool.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

All right, well, keep it.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

Indy seven and a half. Under. I got him over.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Uh uh, we got to.

SPEAKER_03 12:55

The team was on fire last year.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Daniel's coming back from an Achilles and he's gonna start the fucking season. No. They're gonna have to start uh that uh uh second year clown.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Riley Leonard.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

That yeah, that they ended up starting last year. That ain't gonna work. And Jonathan Taylor faded in the half second half of the season once Daniels went out.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Well, they they um first of all, you don't have to tell me that.

SPEAKER_04 13:25

Yeah, and with a young quarterback.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

Yeah, so a second year, dude, they're not gonna do the same fucking thing? I got him winning six.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Okay. Uh I didn't bet. What's your uh your system? What is it? Your my my model. Your model says? Yeah.

unknown 13:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

Me and Fez both have models. Okay, how about Jacksonville at eight and a half? Over big time. I got them under. Check this out. I bet them over nine and a half uh even money. That looks like a sucker bet to me.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

Uh the motherfuckers won 12 or 13.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

I know. Why are they at eight and a half? Why aren't they at nine at least nine and a half or ten and a half?

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Because nobody bets them. What is going on here? No one bets them. But still. Uh Houston's probably got three times the money coming in to Vegas than fucking Jacksonville. That's why the number's low. Okay. You take advantage of it. It's called an anomaly.

SPEAKER_03 14:18

It's I got the under because well, no, the num that has nothing to do with where they set the uh spread, where they set the winds. Yeah, it does. Why?

SPEAKER_04 14:28

Because if if you take twice.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Uh there's no reason to raise the line because it's not being pushed, so you lower it.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

Yeah, but enough people are gonna say that that's easy money. Uh I just bet it. Okay. It is easy money. Well, we'll see. I think it's a sucker, Batman for the city.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Okay, let's go Jacksonville over nine and a half. I'll bet you that.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Over it's uh you want to go, the number's eight and a half here.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Nine and a half when I fucking bet it.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

Well, it went down for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Yeah, and you're saying that uh that proves that they're uh gonna be a bad team. Bet it, fool.

SPEAKER_03 15:31

Um I I don't like it, but I'm going under just because of that. And I do like the rest of the division. Would you go under nine and a half? I don't know. I'd have to think about that.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Uh, because that's what the bet is, so think about it.

SPEAKER_03 15:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

So uh uh that would mean they go nine and eight. And if you think they're that bad, that's probably where they're gonna end up.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

It's a tough division.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

They lost ETN.

SPEAKER_03 15:56

Yeah, that doesn't. I I think giving Tootin the ball more is probably a good thing. I don't. ETN was solid. Not solid enough to pay. Solid. We forgot that's solid. Solid use that more. Solid. Okay, let's move on to Tennessee. Six and a half. My boys. So you like them over, no doubt. Bet it. Yeah, I like them over too.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

Uh let's see, what do I got them, Matt? Uh actually, I uh have not bet their total because it was juiced. Okay. Uh, but I bet them to win the AFC South at plus 750. Okay. 7 to 1. And that's where I'm putting my money on the Titans. I figure if they're gonna go over their win total in that division, they got a good shot at winning the fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03 16:44

They do.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Yeah, and it plus 7 to 1. I'm all over it.

SPEAKER_03 16:49

Okay. Um AFC West, Denver, 10 up to 10.5 from 9.5.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

10.5.

SPEAKER_03 16:55

Uh it was nine and a half when I bet it. Yeah. It minus 110. Well, that's a good bet, then, dude. And I threw big time 65 bucks on it, Dorot. I think the uh I think the gutter snipe can win 11 games in his sleep.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Well, I'm also, we'll get to it, but I'm predicting the chargers are gonna regress. I've got the gutter snipe on Herbert's fucking right arm right now. Damn. Uh-huh. Hatchet job on Herbert from the gutter snipe. And if I have to throw voodoo by week six, I'm doing them.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Okay. I don't know if he's even going to show up for training camp after hearing that. We'll just go do uh the Toyota commercials for the rest of his life. Yeah, Kendall. Kendall Toyota in Eugene. And Bend. Yep. Okay, KC, ten and a half. Under. I got him. I'm not impressed.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Me either. They haven't made any major moves except for Kenneth Walker. And they don't run the ball. They run the ball in the lower 10% anyway.

SPEAKER_05 17:56

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

I want no part of that running game or that team.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

Vegas, five and a half.

SPEAKER_02 18:02

And Mahomes. He's coming.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

I don't know when he'll be back.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Yeah, not uh I'm I should bet Casey under, but I think it was juiced. Okay, Vegas, five and a half. Uh I'm not touching that betting-wise, but I think they win six.

unknown 18:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Subiac. They've bolstered the O-line with Lindenbaum. They already have two players who are among the best at their position on offense and defense, and Crosby and Bowers. No doubt. So um that team's scary.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Well, I don't know if they're scary, but they're going to be better, and they can win six fucking games.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

Uh LA Chargers, nine, nine and a half. Under. I put down the under two. I, you know, I heard some stuff on uh Ross's podcast about their tough uh, what is it? The day day of rest differential.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Uh it's like minus 26 days.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Uh, and that's important.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Over uh over the course of a season. The mean is zero. You either go plus one, plus two, plus three rest days. They're minus twenty-six. Uh no, I'm fading those bucks. Uh and I bet them under nine and a half at plus one ten.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Okay. I I I kind of like what I what they've done, so I'm a little I'd be a little concerned about that.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

It's risky, but it's gambling.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

It's called gambling for a reason. Let's move to the NFC. I also have them under, by the way. Sweet. Uh Dallas, nine and a half. Over. I have them over as well. That's um that's a pretty decent team. Second year coach. Defense is better. Defense is gonna be better. Yep. Okay, New York Giants, seven and a half. Already bat it. Over? Yep.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

I got them over seven and a half at minus one oh five.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

Okay. I got them, I think they're gonna go under. I'm not sure. Why? I'm not impressed by that bunch.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

Uh Harbaugh?

SPEAKER_03 19:59

Harbaugh.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Uh uh, you're not impressed by Harbaugh. The cat's gonna be in the Hall of Fame someday.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

I I know. But um he may he may be losing it. They were happy to get rid of him in Baltimore, and I know sometimes that happened.

SPEAKER_02 20:13

It was time for a change, and uh the Giants needed an injection, and they're getting it.

SPEAKER_03 20:18

Okay, well we'll see.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

You want to bet that one?

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Um we can revisit that. Uh you don't want to pull the trigger on jack. I'm I'm I really, you know, I came up with 16 under 16.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

And at minus one minus minus 105, if I give you the under, you're actually getting an advantage.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Okay. Um I'm serious. Okay. Um yeah, you know what? I'll do that. Let's do it. Let's do it. What, 10 bucks? Yeah, 10 bucks. You got it.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Way to go, Dorster. Hey, we I gotta remember to start using my damn buttons more, Dorith. Then this and this is how that bet's going down for you, Doric. Get them, Sergeant Saunders.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

You know, it we we never know. Um, you're over 7.5. Yep. I'm under 7.5. I feel good as saying that out loud.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Okay, it uh it could go either way.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Okay, uh Washington, also at 7.5. Under. Yeah, I got the under on them too.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

They're a mess.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Uh they're one of the old still one of the oldest teams in the fucking league. Yeah. Daniel's coming off injury. He's injury prone. Uh uh that'd be uh he's almost as skinny as me out there playing quarterback. Uh that's not good.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

No.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Uh McLaren's aging. Uh they drafted a dude uh to be the number two wide receiver. Who was it? Uh Anderson or Williams? Uh Williams, I think his name was uh in the second round. Uh their defense was vulnerable. They lost Rodriguez, the running back.

SPEAKER_03 22:06

The running back. They did draft a good one, Singleton, out of Penn State.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Yeah. And I do like that pick. I'm just wondering, can they hang with the teams they need to hang with?

SPEAKER_03 22:17

I don't know. And I I also I remember Dan Quinn in Atlanta. He peaked early, got him to the Super Bowl. Doing it again. And then faded.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

He gets in the NFC Championship game next year bombs.

SPEAKER_03 22:29

Yeah. No, I'm fading those cats. Okay, Eagles.

SPEAKER_02 22:32

In fact, I've got Washington under six and a half at plus 170.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Good one, dude.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

I threw it up an extra game.

SPEAKER_03 22:40

Philadelphia, 10.5. Over. They're a pretty good team. I expect them to do pretty well. They'll win 11-12 games. Only worry is uh Jalen Hurts. You know, what's what's up with that?

SPEAKER_02 22:53

No, once AJ Brown's gone, I think he's gonna be happier. AJ Brown's a pretty damn good receiver, though. But he's also a preck.

SPEAKER_03 23:01

We'll see. We'll see what happens in New England. Okay, NFC North. Yeah, it's not gonna be good for New England either. Chicago, nine and a half. I'm going over. I went under on them. On your boys? I did, yeah. I know, right? What the fuck? What kind of fan am I? Hey, I it's business, dude. You know.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Huh? This is business, and this man has taken it very, very personal. It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business.

SPEAKER_02 23:31

I bet you, I bet you the total pessimist, your brother Bob, would bet that over that they could win 10 years.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

You know, there's reasons to like him. They got a quarterback who's coming into his own. Even though he's one of the most inaccurate in the NFL. Right, but he's, you know, there's guys like Trevor who are close to him. So Yeah, but still.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Um, we'll see. He was bottom five in uh uh completion percentage, accuracy, deep throw accuracy, catchable balls.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yeah, oh I know. It was a play.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Yeah, uh he he makes these big splash plays, and everyone goes, oh, the next superstar. But if you're completing 54 uh percent of your fucking passes, you ain't going there.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

No, the game, uh a Caleb Williams game last year was like through th three quarters. He has nine completions on 23 attempts for you know 85 yards. Yeah. And then by the end of the game, he's at uh he goes nuts in the fourth quarter, and he's his stats look fairly normal. You can't sustain that. Well, we'll see. But uh, I'm the one who has them under.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

But I'm I'm going over because they have a good easy schedule, relatively speaking.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

Yeah. And uh they have uh they have by teams, they have a hard schedule. By rest, they have an easy schedule.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Good. Uh and they've got a good one-two punch with Swift and uh uh Monogna guy, yeah. And uh uh Burton's coming on, he could be a uh developing superstar. Yeah. Uh Odunze, I don't know. Uh the uh jury's still out.

SPEAKER_03 25:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

What do you think of Odunze?

SPEAKER_03 25:11

Before the injury, he was one of the best wide receivers in the NFL.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yeah, but uh he can't stay on the field.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Maybe. I mean, that's a one-year thing. Who else we got? Uh one more thing on the Bears, and I I'm obviously in the Bears cult, and this was a hard thing to do. Okay, but um that's called that's called integrity. I looked at what would I look at if this was say a team I didn't care about? Sure. Jacksonville. That's what I have to do. And I saw a team that was playing way over their heads, but their record was they won some lucky games, a lot of lucky games. Okay. And um those teams tend to regress the next year. No doubt. So um, you know, I th I think nine and eight, eight and nine is very realistic for them. I see them. Especially in a tough division. I see them going ten and seven. Okay, that could, you know, I hope you're wrong.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

And that and a lot of that's based on I see Detroit regressing.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

Okay, well, Detroit.

SPEAKER_02 26:07

And I I could be wrong on that.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Detroit is next to ten and a half. Under? I have them under as well.

SPEAKER_02 26:14

Um and I don't Dan Campbell's losing a grip. They got a new uh a new offensive coordinator. Uh uh J Mo last year looked lost. Uh uh Gibbs is their best uh player and he's awesome. And uh uh uh St. Brown, the sun god, yeah, and stuff, but their defense sucked. They lost uh, I think uh one of their key players in free agency in the secondary. Uh no, I I see them regressing nine and eight. I'm just I'm just a little But everybody's high on them because they got the easiest schedule in the NFL.

unknown 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Okay, Green Bay 10 and a half. I agree with you on the under there. Cool. Green Bay 10 and a half. Under. I got them under two, and you know, a lot of these I don't know. I think I I could see either any team in the NFC North blowing the drawers off the division.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

And winning 14, going 14 and 3.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

So these are very shaky bets for me.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

I'm starting to lose a little confidence in Jordan Love and LaFleur. Yeah. They're uh Jacobs is aging. Uh he slowed down at the end of the season last year. Uh they lost their backup, Wilson, uh, what, to Seattle or something?

SPEAKER_03 27:28

I think Seattle. It sounds like Seattle, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Yeah. Uh uh they lost uh Wicks at wide receiver to Washington. Yeah. Um and dubs to New England, right? And dubs to New England. Uh yeah, I think they're doing craft comes together. Parsons won't be back uh week one. Right. And so I yeah, I'm fading them. Okay. Did I bet them? I did not bet them yet because they were heavily juiced.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Um Minnesota, eight and a half. I'm over big time. I'm over on them too. I think I think it's gonna be a good year for them.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

I think Kyler's gonna surprise some people, and they could win 11 games.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Yeah. I bet them, uh, did I bet their let's see here. Minnesota. I thought I had their ass.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Apparently. Oh, yeah, I got Vikings over eight and a half at plus one fifteen, Dork.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

And I'm just gonna say the two um North Divisions and the two South Divisions. Yeah. Any four teams in each of those divisions, anyone that wins a division would not surprise me. I agree. I'm just gonna say that's where I'm why I'm a little leery about betting anything there.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

I agree, and I would say the uh same thing with the NFC West if it weren't for Arizona.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

Arizona, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

But any of those three teams can win.

SPEAKER_03 28:50

They were to win the division. I've never seen a division spread remotely close to it was 20 to 1. It was I thought it was plus 9,000. 90 to 1. 90 to 1 for a division.

SPEAKER_02 29:02

Oh, for the division, uh, yeah, I thought it was like 22 to 1 or something.

SPEAKER_03 29:06

Maybe I'll maybe I looked at it wrong. My eyes are going along with the rest of me.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

But um I'll check it out. Uh we'll we'll check back with uh uh you on that. And by the way, you're watching fantasy football with the dork in the dude. If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800 Gambler.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

Okay, let's go to your favorite division, uh NFC South. Love it. We have the Atlanta Falcons doing the Dirty Bird at six and a half. Under. I'm loving the over here. Let's bet it. Let's do it. Ten bucks. Dirty Bird.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

I'm gonna get me a Dirty Bird short. Yeah, shirt. They've got uh two flawed quarterbacks, uh Tua and Penix. Uh uh Bijan, of course, their best player. Drake London's good. Their defense sucks, their offensive line sucks. Uh the two-time coach of the year.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Come on.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

Uh new new coach, new system. Uh this is a transition year for them. I see him going 6 and 11.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

I don't think so. Okay. Carolina, 7.5. I'm over big time. I got the under. I hate that team. Let's bet it. Let's do it. Fucking A right, let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

I've already bet him uh over seven and a half.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

Yeah, that's not gonna stop me from that's not gonna change my opinion.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

But I like everything that they're they're doing. Uh on defense, they got uh what who Jaden uh uh who was it? Uh they got uh a big pass rusher in free agency. They grabbed another another.

SPEAKER_03 30:48

Are they the one is that where Devin Bush went?

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Devin Bush went, but another dude from Miami, yeah. Uh uh, Nedge Rusher. They got both of them.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Yeah. They they got they bolstered the D. Yep. They um they drafted a good receiver, I believe. Or no offensive line. They they they had a good off season. I'm not wild about Bryce Young and um Yeah, uh that's only that scares me. But I, you know, I'm glad we made this bit because we'll be chirping at each other all year round. They're one of my teams of destiny, I know.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

And I have a sweatshirt.

SPEAKER_03 31:24

Uh New Orleans, seven and a half. You know what I'm doing, Dor. Over. I'm over two. I'm a Kellen Moore guy. You and me both. I'm not a big fan of Tyler Shuck yet. I am, but uh, we'll see on that. I saw some Moxie, Dork. You saw, okay. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

I got New Orleans over seven and a half at minus one ten.

SPEAKER_03 31:44

How about Tampa Bay at eight and a half? Under. Yeah, I took them under just because I could. And again, it wouldn't surprise me if they won 11 games and blew the division away.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

No, it that would surprise me because uh they've been mediocrity for the last three years winning nine games.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

In an easy division. But they have had some.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

They lost Mike Evans.

SPEAKER_03 32:03

They have had some playoff moments.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Godwin can't stay on the frickin' field.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

But they got Emeka Abuka.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

He's awesome. Yeah. And Baker Mayfield was hurt last year. If he stays healthy all year, they could win 11.

SPEAKER_03 32:15

Yeah. Okay, let's go to the West. Arizona, four and a half.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

They've got the second easiest schedule in the NFL. I'm I I think they win five.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

I got them under, but um they are. I I don't think they're as bad as people are saying.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

I don't either. And Bris Brissett played well last year.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Uh Harrison, if he can break out and be the dude he's supposed to be, yeah. That'd be awesome. Wilson on the other side had a thousand-yard season.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

Uh Connor's still serviceable. I think they drafted a running back.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

Jeremiah Love. We'll see what he can do for the offense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Yeah. No, they win five games with that squad. Their defense is suspect and aging, but still. I I need to bet Arizona over. I'd do it, dude. I'm going to. It might have been heavily juiced.

SPEAKER_03 33:07

LA Rams 10.5. I'll go over. I got the over two. They're too good. Yeah. San Francisco 10.5.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

That's a tough one with me, but I'm going under.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

I am going under as well.

SPEAKER_02 33:18

You know, they have the most miles traveled in the NFL this year because they go to Australia and Mexico and then they have some East Coast games. 38,000 miles. Damn. The previous record was uh like 22,000.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Well, once you add uh Australia into the mix, that's a lot of miles.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

You know what the circumference of the globe is?

SPEAKER_03 33:41

25,000.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

Yeah, well, uh, and and they're doing 38.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

They're going around the globe. One and a half. One and a half time more than one, and I love it.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

Yeah, uh, that's not good. The only good thing is their longest trip is Australia. They can get there a week fucking ahead of time and acclimate. I I think.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

They gotta deal with the fucking coral snakes, the boxing kangaroos, the crocodiles. Yeah, no, there's a lot of shit out there that you can.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

I've been to Australia, but and I I remember this very well. It took me two days to recover from the jet lag.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

Oh, yeah. I've I've met it on the page. Okay, okay. Finally, the defending champs. Ten and a half. Uh under. I'm going over for them.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

I mean, I love the Seahawks. They're my one of my teams, but uh I got to go under. I think there's some regression coming down. Uh uh, I like the uh price pickup at running back to replace Walker. Uh I'm I think and Darnold's won a Super Bowl, but I could see some regression where he th he has 20 turnovers.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

Teams are gonna be studying that guy uh real hard.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Yeah, uh I do like uh uh Shahid staying there along with JSN. And the Tory Horton, who was working great last year being a injury, yeah. Yeah, he's a good number three guy. Uh I like him. Uh I I haven't bet against him, and I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_03 35:12

Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:13

Uh, because they're my team. Yeah. But uh I see him going uh over under 10 and 7.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Okay. So um what's next?

SPEAKER_02 35:23

Okay, you want to do divisions? Sure. You got those that those stats?

SPEAKER_03 35:28

I I do not. I did not write those down. Well, then I'll just tell you what I bet. Okay, which will give you an idea of uh where I'm at. Then I got something on that afterwards, after you're done.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Sure. Betting-wise, uh, I like to bet uh uh division winners uh where I get really good odds because uh with a fourth place schedule, you can easily win a division over a team that uh has a first uh uh place schedule uh and you've added some pieces and and there's good shit going. Anyway, uh uh one of my big bets, I got the Broncos to win the AFC West at plus 215. That's wild. That that was a thing. I think they're still around there. Uh they won it last year. Uh I see I they got better.

SPEAKER_05 36:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:23

Uh uh the Raiders, don't have to worry about them. Kansas City, we both uh uh uh took the under, and the Chargers I'm betting the regrass. Right. And so I love that. Uh I got sense uh I got uh Carolina to win the NFC South at plus three sixty.

SPEAKER_03 36:41

Okay. That's a good I think that's a good bet.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

I got the Titans to win the AFC South at, like I said earlier, plus seven fifty. Okay. And I took one of my teams of destiny. I'll probably be wearing that sweatshirt next week and next uh broadcast or vi I got the Vikings to win the NFC North at plus five fifty.

SPEAKER_03 37:04

Again, that's crazy that they're that high.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

It's like a gift, and you uh it and like I explained earlier, because no one that's the Vikings. They don't have a fan base that hits Vegas. You know, okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:19

So I got something on the division.

SPEAKER_02 37:22

You might not even be able to get DraftKings in Minnesota for all I know.

SPEAKER_03 37:25

So in the last three years, and there were three of them this week. Uh-oh, this is a dark alert.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Oh God, here we go again. Dark alert.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

We had teams that either experienced massive improvement or one well, I'd say the Panthers this year, you know, their winning the division was mass pretty massive improvement. You think? Yeah, but they are the Houston Texans uh two years ago, three years ago. Uh-huh. Uh the Washington Commanders two years ago, and the Bears, Patriots, and uh Panthers this year, this past year. Yep. The one thing and New England. Bears, Patriots, Panthers, I say. Oh, yes. Okay, yeah. The one thing they all had in common, a first-year coach and a quarterback that was drafted in the top uh recently drafted in the top three. Okay. Right. We have two of those teams this year who re meet those standards.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Oh God, here we go again. Dork and a Dork.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

The first one is the Raiders. Okay. With a first year coach and Fernando Mendoza as quarterback.

unknown 38:33

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

And I don't know that he's a rookie.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

I don't know that he's even going to be a second-year guy.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Cousins, yeah. But, you know, Daniels and Stroud were rookies when they did it.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

W word is cousins starting. Word right now is, yeah. And that's a smart uh play for the Raiders. They're not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 38:50

However, don't be surprised if they surprise everyone and make a run to that division title. Uh they are plus 2,000. I'm gonna throw down five bucks on the one. 20 to 1.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

They're as long as uh the Cardinals. Okay. I wouldn't bet that if someone had a gun to my head.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Well, no one's gonna do that, so you don't have to worry about that decision. I hope not. The other one. You're gonna like this. You're Tennessee Titans. Yeah, baby! With Cam Ward and Robert Salah. Hell yeah! Um, and they're gonna be. And then Carnell Tate.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Yeah, I'm not wild about him, but yeah, you're talking uh I I I've been mentioning uh wanting to mention this, Dork, because I know that you're down on the cat. And thought I've been drafted number four. Yeah, too high. But you you took a gutter snipe at him uh uh in our last broadcast that said he wasn't even the first receiver on his team. No, he wasn't. Yeah, he was the best receiver in this fucking draft, and it'll be proven. We will see.

SPEAKER_03 39:57

Yeah, baby. That's that's a question for ten years from now.

SPEAKER_02 40:00

They got your boy O'Conquay.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

The tight end. Didn't he go somewhere else? Chig? Giants, maybe? Maybe the Giants?

SPEAKER_02 40:10

I thought he was DK. Remember him? D-I-K-E.

SPEAKER_03 40:15

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Uh uh and they've they've got some weapons.

SPEAKER_03 40:19

Uh Cortland Sutton, yeah, they got some weapons. And they they uh drafted a running back I like, uh Caitlin Allen, right? No, Washington drafted Caitlin Allen, they drafted Nick Singleton. I like them both.

SPEAKER_02 40:33

He's the Penn Stater.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

Yeah, they both are.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Yeah. Anyways Singleton could be the starting running back by uh uh middle of the season.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

They are eight eight hundred to one. Love it.

SPEAKER_02 40:44

Eight to one, jump on it.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Jump on that one.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

I d I did. It's plus 750. It went up.

SPEAKER_03 40:51

Okay, but that's uh, you know, that's uh that's a thing to look for. Quarterbacks matter, quality quarterbacks matter. I like that, Dorg. You vet you validated my Titans uh division bet. Excellent. And I'm throwing down on them and the Raiders. Do it! Okay, now um I got do you want to do some awards?

SPEAKER_02 41:10

Oh when we talked about the Chargers, I didn't mention that I bet them under nine and a half at plus one ten.

SPEAKER_03 41:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

And I uh I don't know if I mentioned I have Pittsburgh under seven and a half at plus one thirty.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

I took it down a game to get that uh plus I kind of like that. That plus juice. Yeah. And then I mentioned I had Washington under six and a half at plus one seventy and New England. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 41:37

Okay. So um awards. Okay, awards. Uh let's start with the big one, the MVP. Okay. Who you like, Dark? Well, I'm I'm talking about the long shots here mainly. Why not? Um, the ones I like because I I think the teams could could do surprisingly well that are long shots, and I knew you're gonna hate this first one. CJ Stroud at plus 4,500. 45 to 1. 45 to 1. Kyler Murray at 40 to 1. I know you like that one. I do. Then two Browns, both at 200 to 1, Miles Garrett and Deshaun Watson.

SPEAKER_02 42:18

Miles Garrett for MVP.

SPEAKER_03 42:20

Yeah. Doesn't happen a lot on defense.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

If Deshaun uh Deshaun wants it, they would give him comeback player. Okay, but we'll see if I don't care if he threw for 5,000 yards and 50 fucking touchdowns, he would get comeback.

SPEAKER_03 42:35

I guarantee you if he throws for 5,000 yards and 50 fucking touchdowns, he will be MVP.

SPEAKER_02 42:41

I guarantee you this, after the cat's reputation, there's enough fucking uh uh beat reporters out there that wouldn't vote for that piece of shit.

SPEAKER_03 42:50

I think they would if he did that.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

No. And he ain't gonna do that anyway, but uh that's a good long shot. I bet that's it. I bet uh Brock Purdy 20 to 1.

SPEAKER_03 43:01

Okay, I like that one too.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Here's my two long shots. And I bet him a long once the numbers came out. Yeah, uh, I bet Kirk Cousins at 200 to one. Love it. Uh and if he starts the season and the Raiders are 6-0, you might they can't pull it. They're gonna run with him, yeah. Uh, and I bet uh who else did I bet? I bet, oh, I bet Mac Jones when it looked like he might get uh traded at 300 to one. Okay, he still might. He might. In fact, there uh I was thinking about that just the other day. Why should the 49ers hang on to him at this point if they could get a second rounder from a desperate team? Say a desperate team. Pittsburgh team, Pittsburgh should have grabbed.

SPEAKER_03 43:44

Aaron Rodgers says fuck this, I don't want to do it anymore. Yeah. Pittsburgh might offer him a first rounder.

SPEAKER_02 43:50

I was w yeah, I was wondering why the fuck Pittsburgh didn't explore a trade with him for Mac Jones.

SPEAKER_03 43:55

Yep. Anyway, those are my long shots. Uh Any more on the MVP? No. Okay, Offensive Rookie of the Year. Do you have any thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Yeah, I got my uh 49ers uh stribbling wide receiver 55 to 1. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 44:12

So here's what I think on Offensive Rookie of the Year. I think Jadarian Price is basically if he's as good as they say he is, I think he'll slide right into Kenneth Walker's numbers. I can see it. And I if I had to bet on someone, I'd be him at plus 750.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

Here's the problem I have with that.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

What's that?

SPEAKER_02 44:31

Seahawks run at uh one of the lowest rates in the league. Uh Charbonnet is going to come back at some fucking point.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

At some point.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

And chop into his workload.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

But again, if if if price is going off.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

And he's a rookie. And we don't know how he passed blocks or whatever yet. We don't know how he fits the scheme, although we figured the coaches know that. We shall see. Yeah. What was his odds? 750. 7-1.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

And I'm just going to say not a lot of.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

He's one of the favorites.

SPEAKER_03 45:01

Recently, not a lot of running backs win it. No. Usually a quarterback. But here are my the sleepers I like. I'm going with the Penn State theme here. Singleton. Singleton and Caitlin Allen in Washington. You got two guys who are good running backs. Chances are they'll be starting. Sure. I know they're long shots and probably won't win, but that's a common thing with long shots.

SPEAKER_02 45:23

If they put up uh one of them puts up 1,200 yards, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:27

He could win it. Exactly. If it's a thin year. I mean, if if Mendoza starts and does well, he'll probably win. He's not going to start week one. Well, we don't know that. Okay. We say it, we they say it, but you know, he's playing politics.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

Well, then why the fuck did you bring cousins in?

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Well, we're gonna see. If they think Mendoza Mendoza will start as soon as they think he can, I believe.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

Cousins like 20 million.

SPEAKER_03 45:52

I know. But um they got the money.

SPEAKER_02 45:55

That's what Rogers is making.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Right. That's cheap for a quarterback.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

So Cousins will be started.

SPEAKER_03 46:01

Okay. Defensive rookie of the year. You got anything? Yeah, I've already bet Anthony Hill.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

40 to 1. Who do you who's he with? Linebacker with uh is it Cleveland?

SPEAKER_03 46:14

He came from Texas, right? Yeah, I don't remember Darton. He's supposed to be a badass and betting a round two linebacker last year.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

I bet it is uh uh uh on an article I read. I don't even know who the cat is.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

And that's what won me Schlesinger last year.

SPEAKER_03 46:31

Yes, a round two linebacker, I remember. Here's the two I like. And I hit him at 40 to 1. Two pass rushers. Gabe Jocus with New England. Okay. And Zion Young with the Ravens. If either one of them gets a whole bunch of sacks, they're right in the mix.

SPEAKER_02 46:50

And on that Ravens.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

And both are 60 to 1.

SPEAKER_02 46:53

That's a good spot for uh him with the Ravens. Yeah. Uh we didn't do defensive player of the year, did we?

SPEAKER_03 47:01

I don't think I saw one that I that really grabbed me.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Oh, okay. Uh uh because I haven't bet it yet, but I'm I'm gonna bet Jared Burz with the Rams.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:14

The guy's a frickin' monster.

SPEAKER_03 47:15

He is a monster.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

And I think his odds were 15-20 to 1. Okay. So I like it. Uh I'm glad you reminded about that. Uh I've also got uh Kevin O'Connell, 30 to 1, coach of the year. I got it right here. Kyler Murray uh and him win 12 games and the division, which I've already bat.

SPEAKER_03 47:39

For my coach of the year. 30 to 1 for Kevin O'Connell. Are you kidding me? Tell me about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:44

If he takes Kyler Murray and wins 12 fucking games, he will be coach of the year. He will be in the playoffs. And if he goes to the NFC Championship, it's a certainty he wins that fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03 47:55

And here's uh two long shots for offensive player of the year.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

And again, it's like the Penn State thing for offensive rookie, it's a theme. Okay. It's second year first round drafted running backs. Ashton Genty and Omarion Hampton, both at 40 to 1.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Those are good numbers. Uh I looked at that.

SPEAKER_03 48:18

Um they're long shots, to be sure.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

They are.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

And I'd like a little more than 40, actually, but I thought it was a fun little pairing.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

Uh 40 is excellent. Uh, when I get a bet like that, I bet five bucks to win 200.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

Yep, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

And it's working, Dork. Okay. Good rundown there, Dorster.

SPEAKER_03 48:42

So, can I real quick get into the week one bets on DraftKings that caught my eye?

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Okay, I looked at the numbers, but uh I'm not betting week one this early.

SPEAKER_03 48:52

I'm not betting them this early, but here's the one that I said, hmm. Okay. Uh Cleveland plus seven at Jacksonville. As long as I'm all over the Browns, I might as well.

SPEAKER_02 49:03

And you and you're uh hating on Jacksonville.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

I am, yes, yes, I am. Sorry, Trevor. Okay. Nothing personal, it's business. So you'll probably bet that. Houston, plus one and a half at home, getting points against Buffalo.

SPEAKER_02 49:16

I hate that bet. Buffalo's gonna crush them.

SPEAKER_03 49:19

I don't think so. I think Houston wins.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

Okay, we'll bet that before the uh at some point dork.

SPEAKER_03 49:26

Um Indianapolis getting three and a half at home against Baltimore. I think Baltimore's overrated. I think India's underrated. Well, I'm fading Indy and I love getting that three and a half, that hook. But you took Baltimore's over. No, I took their under.

SPEAKER_02 49:41

Oh, did you? Yeah. Oh, and I've got some bet uh playoff parlays to make or miss the playoffs. I didn't mention, Dork. What's that? Okay. These are fun as hell, man, because you get awesome odds. But it all has to fall into place. It's a three-team parlay to make or miss the playoffs. I bet 10 bucks a pop. I got Tennessee, Carolina, and Minnesota to make the playoffs at 31 to 1. Love it. I got New Orleans, Jacksonville, and the Giants to make the playoffs at 19 to 1.

SPEAKER_03 50:17

Won't argue with it.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

I've got New England, Detroit, and Seattle to miss the playoffs at 18 to 1.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

Actually, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 50:26

And then I got the Chargers and the Packers and Kansas City to miss the playoffs at 15 to 1.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

Boom, baby! No, boom when it hits, you know. Yeah, no, it's going here.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

I'm gonna hit at least one or two of those bets, which is gonna cover everything.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Okay, save that paper. I will. It's always here, Dor. Okay, back to week one. Okay. Arizona, and I certainly won't bet this, but Arizona getting 11 and a half at the Chargers. The Chargers, they start slow. Yeah, and they don't beat people up like other teams do. They don't dominate, they they squeak out wind and Arizona.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

11 and a half. I'll take Arizona. Especially if Rosette comes back. He's not repentant.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

All offseason carrying about how shitty they are. Yeah. That's gotta fire up a team, right? You would think. And they've still got some players on that team. And then the final one The Gutter Snipe. Denver's getting two and a half at KC. I think they're gonna crush those mofos.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

I might have to bet that now. Since I'm all in on uh I'm all in on the gutter snipe.

SPEAKER_03 51:37

Okay. Uh, you got anything else?

SPEAKER_02 51:41

Uh that covers it totally, Dork. Okay. Oh no, I do have uh did we cover Super Bowl bath? Uh no. Well, let's get down. Do it. Uh we got plenty of hours on our Buzz Sprout account. And it's it's off season, so we're like once a month. Okay. So you didn't you didn't do the numbers? Uh okay. I'll give you the numbers that are currently on drafting because I know them in my head. Okay. You tell me Hugh you like to win the Super Bowl this year.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

Think about it.

SPEAKER_03 52:15

I I I am I am very muddled on it. It's tough. It's tough. This is a tough year.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Every year's tough. The team that keeps coming to Seattle 65 to 1 was tough.

SPEAKER_03 52:26

Yeah. The team that keeps coming into my head this year as one that's scary, even though I bet they're under, is the Chargers.

SPEAKER_02 52:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

You know, I disagree.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

I like what they did. They could be scary. I can see him putting it all together.

SPEAKER_03 52:40

I like the Bengals as well. Um I okay. I still think it's going to be a Rams, Seahawks, Eagles uh thing, and the Eagles if they can get get it back. Right. Uh kind of dominating the NFC. Maybe the Packers or Bears if they can pull it together.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

Uh uh, or my Vikings.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

Or your Vikings, yeah. But um the AFC is wild, I think, this year. Right. So uh who knows?

SPEAKER_02 53:07

Here's what I bet, Dork. My biggest bet, Rams, plus 950. I think they're down to eight uh eight to one now.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

Uh I got Sensi, 23 to 1, baby.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

Uh I got that. I got Carolina 100 to 1. These are my long shots. Saints, 100 to 1. I got Tennessee 120 to 1. I got the Giants 70 to 1. And my Minnesota Vikings 55 to 1.

SPEAKER_03 53:38

I like the Vikings one. Don't you? Um I um I will, uh like every year, I will probably bet on the Bears. I think they were 25 to 1 last I saw.

SPEAKER_02 53:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:48

Um, I don't know if I'll bet on the Seahawks.

SPEAKER_02 53:51

I can't bet the Bears because I got the Vikings.

SPEAKER_03 53:53

Right. Um I I may just throw down a little on Cleveland because they're my team and I'm gonna support them. Maybe a buck at two, what, 200, 2,000 to one?

SPEAKER_02 54:02

No, they're probably 120.

SPEAKER_03 54:04

Okay. And um I'll I'll see from there. I'm gonna put a few bets down. Probably Minnesota will be one of them. Nice. Um, and uh we'll see, you know, I'll I'll I'll check it out. Well, if and maybe the Chargers, like I said, I got a feeling about them.

SPEAKER_02 54:19

Here's my thinking, Dork, big picture. Uh you know, like I say, I hit Seahawks 65 to 1. I'm gonna hit Minnesota 55 to 1. Yeah, and here's the formula. The quarterback whisperer, Kevin O'Connell, yeah, turns Kyler Murray's career around. Yeah, and they go on this like Kurt Warner run and win the whole fucking thing.

SPEAKER_03 54:45

I mean, we all everyone sees that, yeah. I I can't imagine why they're 55 to 1. You're kidding, right. Yeah. No, it's um Kyler Murray. I mean, I'm gonna throw it on an 40 to 1 MVP.

SPEAKER_02 54:59

I gotta get on that one too, Dork. Okay, well, thanks for watching fantasy football with the Dork and the Dude. We're gonna be gone for probably a little while, Dork, because they're probably until training camp. Until training camps. Which is what, mid-June?

SPEAKER_03 55:13

We'll be we'll be back to talk about mainly fantasy in August.

SPEAKER_02 55:17

Uh uh We've covered the bets now until we get to week one. Everything from this point on is gonna be fantasy. How's that sound?

SPEAKER_03 55:26

That sounds good. All righty. We got our bets down. Uh uh run it down for the viewers. Um New York Giants, Dork is under seven and a half, dude is over. Atlanta, Dork is over six and a half. We're doing the Dirty Bird, dude is under six and a half, and Carolina, Dork is under seven and a half, dude is over. Love it. So we will see y'all. When will we see them, Dork? Probably sometime in July. Uh yeah, month.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

Unless something breaks. Month, six weeks. Yeah. Alrighty. Uh enjoy uh continue enjoying the offseason. Uh uh Dork, our nfl.com uh fantasy football site, the bottom feeders, should be activated in the next week or two. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 56:16

You saw where I put as my uh logo, the movie poster from Gus the Field Goal Kicking Mule. I I did not. Okay. You should check out that movie if you get the chance.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

But you're staying Dork 360. Oh, heck yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:28

What's it what's the movie called? Gus the Field Goal Kicking Mu Mule.

SPEAKER_02 56:32

Okay, I'll look it up on Twitter.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

It's about a real, a real bad team. I think they're called the California Adams.

SPEAKER_02 56:39

And they get a goat to kick for them.

SPEAKER_03 56:41

They get a uh mule to kick and some like dude from Eastern Europe who's a soccer player to hold the ball for him. Right. And Gus can kick like 99-yard field goals, so they're in the Super Bowl. Okay. And the best part, Dick Butkiss plays their best player.

SPEAKER_02 56:58

Okay. And um What is this like Senior Citizen Day or something?

SPEAKER_03 57:04

Yeah, no, this is a 70s movie. Oh, okay, man. Anyways, before the Super Bowl, he switches teams because he's mad at, I think, Gus's handler. I love it. Because the his girlfriend uh, you know, went to him, dumped uh Dick Butkiss for him.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Because uh uh the mule is like a uh a fucking superstar.

SPEAKER_03 57:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:27

I love it.

SPEAKER_03 57:28

And um it's just you know, you see uh Tim Conway, that's Don Knott.

SPEAKER_00 57:33

That's the one. Here we go again, Dark and Leg.

SPEAKER_03 57:35

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

Don Knott, he's right up your alley.

SPEAKER_03 57:38

He is, yes.

SPEAKER_02 57:40

Okay, thanks again, folks. We'll see you in about uh month, six weeks. Enjoy the offseason. Uh next we'll be talking fantasy football. Go Browns.

SPEAKER_06 57:52

All right, now I'm gonna let my old boys know. Y'all want to keep rolling like this? I need to know who's gonna be the fall guy.

SPEAKER_02 58:00

Somebody needs a fall guy. Because y'all not gonna all do it. I'm playing it, right?

unknown 58:10

One of them fools got to know he's going to jail.

SPEAKER_02 58:12

One of them fools got to know he's going to jail.

SPEAKER_03 58:16

Thank you, Chris Carter, for that clip.

SPEAKER_01 58:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:27

My beard's done.

SPEAKER_01 58:28

God damn it.

SPEAKER_03 58:31

You want another one? No, I'm good. I got one at home, and we got uh we got the stuff we're doing tonight. Okay, going to a mushroom club meeting. How's that for Dorothy?