Matthew Explains How Homelessness Changes Everything

Homelessness can happen faster than most of us want to believe and the hardest part is not just the lack of a roof, it’s the constant fear, boredom, and a whole new set of unwritten rules you have to learn overnight. We speak with Matthew, who shares a raw and thoughtful account of how domestic abuse and mental health trauma led to six months on the streets, and what daily life really looked like: finding food, keeping clean, staying safe, and trying to hold on to hope. Content warning: this conversation includes references to domestic abuse and suicide attempts.

We also get into the practical reality of homelessness services in the UK and why “just put them in a room” is not a plan. Matthew talks about confusing processes, the pressure of assessments, and the risk of being placed into accommodation that is unsuitable or unaffordable. He explains how Changing Futures helped him build trust, move into emergency accommodation, and start fighting for the support he actually needed, including persistence around health referrals.

One of the biggest takeaways is surprisingly simple: use plain English. A badly worded housing letter can trigger panic and undo progress, especially after trauma. We also explore how cooking sessions and community dining can rebuild confidence and connection, echoing what we see every week at The Bread and Butter Thing: food is often the doorway to friendship, support, and a stronger community.

If you found this powerful, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave us a review so more people can find the podcast.

Transcript

Who We Are And A Warning

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Hello and welcome back to a slice of bread and butter with me, Mark and Vic, where from the bread and butter thing.

SPEAKER_04 0:18

We run a network of mobile food clubs that take surplus food from supermarkets, farms and factories. We take it straight into communities where families are struggling to get by.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Yep, and for less than a tenner, our members get bags packed with fruit, veg, fridge food, covered staples, and all sorts. It's a weekly shop that stretch the budget and take some of the pressure off.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Yeah, our members are at the heart of everything we do. They turn food into friendship and neighbours into community, and that's what makes us tick.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

Yeah, and today it's Matthew, just some warnings of domestic abuse references and mental health trauma. So just a bit of a warning before we have a listen.

Matthew’s Road Into Homelessness

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Hi, I'm Matthew. I use the bread and butter thing, thing that's helped me eat, provide me with food at hard times, especially when I came from straight homeless. Obviously, not much money, not much food, and it's been a fantastic thing when I got into an A-Ben, um, which is any bed for the night part of Andy Burnham's work, and I could get food and eat and not constantly worry about needing food or where I'm going to get food from, just from the amount of money you have. It was something I didn't have a clue about prior to that, and it's been unbelievably good.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Can we talk about homelessness, how you got there, what the journey was?

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Journey was as in an unhealthy relationship, that started to become violent and for obvious reasons fell apart, fell apart once, and that suicide attempts around that. Um, then I returned back to relationship and it got as bad for another suicide attempt, but then being woken up by a multitude of emergency services trying to work out how they were gonna get me out of there and what had happened. So I went back to relationship again, it went worse, and then everything fell apart, which was a turning point for me, I think. I think it was one of those of this is how close you've come, there ain't much further you can go. And it started to sort of turn myself round, got help through changing futures, they got me into emergency accommodation, and then into accommodation through stepping stones, and then to where I am now, which is my final move to find a permanent and is this permanent? This is this is permanent until I find somewhere else. So, how long were you on the streets?

The Daily Grind Of Surviving

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Gosh, I was on the streets for six months, so I was lucky I managed to sort of get on, but you you see how easy it is to slip into the problems of drink, alcohol, drugs, because it yeah, it's an escapism.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Forgive me because I've never really had a conversation with anybody that's been so homeless before. What's the rhythm of the day look like?

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Well, I was near Stockport, so I used the Wellspring because you got food. So you knew you'd get breakfast, lunch, and tea, and you could have a shower. Wellspring's like a drop-in, isn't it? Yeah, so you stayed around there for obvious reasons, so you had the food, and then the day was just keeping yourself entertained, occupied with no money, benefits being stopped. Stockport bus shelter, spent some days in there just occupying yourself newspapers, chatting to people who knew her on the streets. There was a lovely lady there, I forgot her name, and she was nice to us, looked off one of her mates, brought in drinks when she shouldn't have done, and things like that. So it was it was nice, but it was it was keeping yourself safe. I was gonna say that how do you keep yourself safe and sleep? That's why I sort of went out into the countryside marple way and things like that, because you were not being horrible, but you're not gonna meet someone who's had a skin full who's gonna want to beat the living daylights out of you. They're probably gonna ask you, You were okay and have a conversation, which you was a few people did. Or you sort of slept round the bus station for a few hours and then went back into it when it opens at six in the morning to then go into the Wellsprings, you knew it was relatively safe. But there were times when you'd be in a sleeping bag, wrapped up, hooded up, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd hear people coming and you'd just be like, God, what do I do? Are they gonna be nasty? Are they gonna be horrible? Because I mean we heard things of people having a tent slash deflicated in, urinated in, and and you sit there and think, that's someone's home, you know. So you you don't you don't feel safe because there are people there that will exploit you. Um and we were given warning of that by people of don't sleep round here, go out somewhere else. That was people that are homeless or people Yeah, people who are homeless or or other people who are gonna exploit many hours. It's just the safety and where you can be in the boredom. Boredom. Yeah, because you can't do anything, you know. Yeah, you go into the library, you read books, because you're so tired you end up nodding off in the library and you keep it. And you feel you know, and you feel embarrassed about that, and it's it's the boredom. You know, if you could get a bus pass, you'd you'd travel the buses for a day for a bit of excitement, go around to places or go to the airport, right, sleep at the airport, you go somewhere that you know you're gonna be safe.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

Well, you want discreet as well, don't you? Because you don't want something where people are gonna see you, obviously, because you don't want to attract that attention, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

No,

Rules, Assessments, And Getting Help

SPEAKER_01 5:31

and I mean that was part of the thing when I because I had to present at Trafford Council for the homelessness of we'll come and say you need to be in the same place for 72 hours, and that's all I was told. So you think logically so you've got to stay in the same place for three days? No, no, what what what you do is you get a number for the homeless assessment team. So if you need to go anywhere, you say, by the way, I'm going here, I'm going now, I'm doing this, but you're not told that. Changing Futures explained that to me and gave me places, and you're able to communicate with them to say, Look, this is where I'm going, I'm going to my doctors, I'm doing this. So you were you were lucky with with that to find that, but a lot of people don't understand that. So they give up, and you can see people decline, the mental health decline, you know, use of drugs, use of alcohol, just to stop the boredom. So changing places, how did you find them?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Changing, sorry, change change it, changing futures. Changing futures, sorry, changing futures.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

I'd gone up to see my family to say goodbye because I'd just had enough. And I got a thing sent through by my doctors saying you can there's a place where they offer mental health assessments at Southwest Community Centre. Um, and I told my sister, and she said, Right, I'm driving you down there on Monday and dropping you off there. And that's where I bumped into Claire from Changing Futures, and she saw how I was, sat down, chatted to me, explained how they could help, get me off the streets, and within five days they'd done that, and that completely literally saved my life. Do you think you were fast or typical five days for changing futures? I'm not sure. It's because I I gave them the go and trusted them, and I think a lot of them they have trouble with people that are told things and you constantly let down things don't happen that you don't believe what you're told. I wouldn't have thought it would have been that quick. I've helped other people show them, you know, the the A-Ben accommodation and going, look, this is brilliant, you know, it's better than I had. Try it, and it's it's them taking that step because you're comfortable and used to the streets and you know what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

There's a trust thing clearly set you on a path.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they tried to put me in a HMO in Fallowfield as soon as I was moved in. HMO? House of Multiple Ocpancy. They told me it was a self-contained flat, it wasn't. It's almost as if they go get rid of them, then they're not a problem. But I'd worked it out that they the accommodation they put me in, and the money I had, I couldn't afford it. So after the six months, I was gonna be back on the streets again. It's not thought through or calculated properly about the money people have, about what's happening, about what in help you need, because they don't understand, they haven't been through it, and they just seem to think that giving you a room or a roof sorts you out, and it doesn't. It's all the other things that are around that that help you get back on your feet.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Yeah, it's not bloody complicated.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

It is, and you have to fight. I mean, my mental health assessment wasn't fantastic, they just thought that homelessness was a problem. So as soon as you got home, you'll be alright. And you think, no, that's that's not it. Trying to get assessment for my ADHD took four rapid referrals to actually get assessed. It's just all these things that luckily Claire helped me find my fight, and I'm slowly building and building on that and working with other things.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

But I don't think if I'd had that, if I don't think I'd had the education to degree level that I'd had, I wouldn't have been able to get holes on that I needed to do because you had to find and that's really interesting that you're saying that, Matthew, to say, actually, if I didn't have the degree level education, that support from Clara to give you that confidence as well. Not everyone is going to feel that.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

No, not everyone's that or doesn't have that ability or embarrassed to say, look, I can't read, I can't do this. And it's saying, Look, but we can help you with this.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

You say we where have you got to then? Because you're obviously helping others now.

Plain English That Prevents Panic

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Helping others. So now working with the Elephants Trail in Trafford, an organization that works with people from multiple disadvantages and go to advise councils on the policies and how they work and operate from the lived experience of people with multiple disadvantages. It's difficult with the councils where a lot of the lived experience will say there's a problem, this is why the problem, this is what's happening. And the council's looking at it as an attack, and it's it's not it's saying, Here's a problem, here's a way to fix it, or here's what you're doing that causes a problem, but if you did it like this, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:12

It's great that they've invited you in then.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

So that's brilliant. So there's lots of work with them. I'm working with a quite ironically after talking about the language, glorious ordinary language, with Trafford Council, and that's using language that people understand. Um, is it language you'd use sat around the you know, kitchen table, and it's you know, people might talk about toileting and nutrition, and it's you know, you don't sit there and go, I'm going to go and exercise my toileting needs. I'm sorry to interrupt the nutrition intake. So it's getting things that people understand and and talking in a way that people understand and don't feel talked down to. But I had stuff come through from housing, and the way it was worded, I thought I was being kicked out of my accommodation. Of course, if you just come from homelessness, trauma that brings back to you is horrendous. Instead of them going, here's the letter, this is what it says, A, B, C, D, they just send you the letter, and you're like, What the f and you're cooking as well, you said.

Cooking, Confidence, And Community Meals

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, we're doing a cooking thing, so that's with Changing Futures. Yeah, there's a chef and who's with Changing Futures, he's part of the team, and it's one of the lads comes down here and he's learning how to cook, and the difference in him is phenomenal because I don't know how to cook, I'll get takeaways all this. And he's now starting to cook for himself, and he comes in and he's buzzing, oh I cooked a cake, I've done this, and you can see it's a confidence, it's uh I'm doing something, I'm achieving something, and that's what cooking's all about. And it's now not a task, it's I'll come down, no matter how I feel, I'll come down because even if I don't cook, there's someone to talk to, there's someone to help me with the with the problems I've got. So it's it's really good, and it's a thing we're looking to we're looking to expand. We're doing an activities project over the summer where we do an activity and have food. Because tends to over the summer a lot of the help and facilities drops off, don't it? So, who are you feeding? Just ourselves, but what we were wanting to maybe do in a future thing is do something for the community and do a community meal. There's a lot of people who need food who are embarrassed to say, you know, they need food. Well, if you come down it to get together with a sideline of food, yeah, you're not coming down looking as if you're coming for food because you can't feed yourself.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Well, that's what we do with Bren and Butter, right? We we bring people in with the food, yeah. And then we try and get people to know their own communities, but then also bring in other services, all that sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

It does, it links other people. You meet people from other groups and other things, and it it shows that it's not it's not just food, it's all these other things that link in. And oh, do you know about this? I don't know about that. Oh, there's a men's group here, come along.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

It's funny how food does that, right? It's the one common thing that seems to bring.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

It's that natural thing that that's what we did when we were sat in trees, we'd sit and communally eat. And it is that you know, you look at your twittling, they're making the pasta and all talking together because it's a communal thing, and it's also teaching people about different foods, and you know, you can have a few tins of beans, some pasta, some chilies, and some rosemary, and you've got a dish, and it's in one pan. So you get these people that come out, they're given a budget, but they have no idea how to cook. They buy ready meals, find out they can't afford to do that, find out a bag of chips is two quid, and you go go and get your tea, and it is it's frustrating, it's not their fault, they're not taught how to do it.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

No, it's do you know what, Matthew? You've come such a long way, it's amazing to see. How often do you look back?

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Often there are times when you do look back. There are things I was at uh the Resolved Poverty Conference, and things like that hit you because you think I know how this happened, why this happened, why can't. And that's one of the things I've said is I don't want that to happen again, and you've got to do everything to stop that because you just see that normal people are nice people, they're just people who are at the end of the tether, and it is anyone and everyone it can happen to, and the housing's the biggest thing, biggest problem we've got.

What Matthew’s Story Taught Us

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Matthew's a dude.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

We talked last week with Diana about aspirations and journeys, right? What a journey.

SPEAKER_04 14:22

Yeah, what a really inspiring bloke.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

Yeah. It just took a moment with him because obviously I've met loads of homeless before, but never really had the chance to have an in-depth conversation with somebody that's experienced it like that. And he was so articulate, and hopefully, you can hear how much thought he went into of how bloody complicated things can be, like homelessness.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

He was with a partner, domestic abuse triggered it, and that's what got him there. So it wasn't mental health trauma, it wasn't addiction, it wasn't finances. It can come from any root.

SPEAKER_04 15:05

Yeah, absolutely. You asked him, well, what was it like? And I thought, you know, fair play because he was so open and honest. And like you say, you know, his answers were thoughtful and meaningful, they weren't hyperbolic, they were really measured responses. It made me think like you go through life knowing these societal norms, like this is how you should operate, this is what you do in public, whatever. And then you go on the streets, and there's a whole different set of norms that you've got to learn like overnight. How do you keep yourself busy? Where are the places that you can go? How do you keep yourself safe? Where are you gonna get the kip? And that's a real, a real lot, isn't it? To kind of just think, right, well, I've got to this age and I know how life works. Oh no, I really don't know how life works anymore. I'm starting from scratch.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Not in this new life, I don't know. No, and then you've got that complication because when you're just going to my next place to kip, my next place to eat, can I get any money to eat? Can I get money for a bus pass just to have a bit of interest for the day, etc.? How do you get beyond that to say, do you know? I've really got to find a way of getting a home. I've really got to find a way to get employed.

SPEAKER_04 16:18

Totally. I mean, I say that about many of our members. Before they shop at bread and butter, they might be worrying about skipping meals or how are they gonna feed the kids? And you can't think about anything past that. But being homeless is like a next level.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Yeah, obviously, massive shout out to Changing Futures, right? Yeah, and I don't know whether it's typical, but Matthew's story was amazing with them and the way that they just gave him that confidence.

SPEAKER_04 16:42

I think the key thing that he said was, I just put all of my trust into them. Yeah, like I didn't have another choice, so I was just gonna do it. But other people really struggle with that because they've been knocked back so many times, or life's dealt them one too many blows. So I think him being able to clearly have a rapport with them and trust them was amazing. But the other thing that got me is he's really well educated, you know. He made the point, there was a lot of stuff that if I didn't understand it, it would have petrified me, it would have been too much. And I loved the fact that he's doing that kind of plain English, like just say it how it is, kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now the toileting was a great example, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04 17:27

Yeah, I loved that. So I guess my question is: shouldn't services have a bigger responsibility to be less bureaucratic and say, you do not need to worry about this letter, it's for information only, but you do need to read it, you know, in bright red at the top, so that people are like, okay, I've got the adrenaline rush under control really quickly because everyone's scared of post, everyone's scared of the next blow. There's got to be a better way for us to communicate with people.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Do you remember Anglian Water? I do, yeah. They did that as well. You could ring them up and they'd read all the letters out to you and explain.

SPEAKER_04 18:03

Yeah, and I was like, Well, that's because they're bloody complicated. Yeah, same thing, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Yeah, it's just like actually for the people that are on the street, it's really difficult and complicated because there's so many rules, and frankly, they just want to deal with you as quickly as possible and get you off your desk and get you off the targets.

SPEAKER_04 18:23

But do they? You've got to stay in the same place as a homeless person for the city. For three days, yeah. Like, who made that rule up?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

I don't know. I guess it's having the individual bend around the system rather than the other way around, right?

SPEAKER_04 18:37

Yeah, like three hours, I think, would be only just reasonable, but three days is mind-blowing.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

Yeah. And it was amazing where he was. Went to his flat, and the structure of the the social housing that he was in basically was that he was in a flat until he could actually find somewhere that he'd found for himself.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

But it felt really good support for him. So he was in a lovely flat, and he knew that he needed to move on, and he was doing things to move on, yeah, because he knew that they wanted somebody else to help behind him, and he had that feeling within himself. It was a lovely model when he was talking about the um House of Multiple Occupancy and how he'd already done the sums. Yeah, so how how many other people in that house it could have 100%, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:32

You know, he was looking around the corners and making sure that he wasn't going to fail again, but there's not many people that would have been able to do that, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

So then moving on to community dining and volunteering and how that was brilliant. I love the fact that he's doing all of that stuff now. Yeah. And again, like Donah last week, he's on a journey, but what a journey. So if you just looked at him and and labelled Matthew Wright, you would see somebody that's in temporary accommodation that was homeless, and what risks associated would you put to him? But you would not see this warm, intelligent, articulate individual that is looking to help support and build his community.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

Yeah, but I think and I think that's a really important point because we all just describe our members as bloody brilliant, right? We're not saying, you know, our members look like this or are that, because everybody's situation and outlook on life is entirely different, and anything that tries to like label people or put them into clumps or groups just misses the point massively.

Why Food Builds Real Community

SPEAKER_04 20:41

No, I thought you were gonna have a really big food cycle nerd out with him.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Now you see, you've said it before I've said it. I I have behaved and not mentioned food cycle once on this pod.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

I was I was waiting, I was waiting for the oh community dining. I know a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

So let me tell you two things about food cycle then. So the first one is Matthew and I are nerding out about food cycle since. So he and I are talking about setting up a food cycle project with Matthew.

SPEAKER_04 21:10

Okay, all right. See, I knew there'd be something going on.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Uh for those of you that are uninitiated, food cycle run community meals across the country once a week in lots of places like bread and butter hubs, and we effectively just let anybody and everybody come in and have a nice three-course dinner that's vegetarian. Right, so plugged on. Right, so plugged on. The second thing was I wanted to bring in because two weeks ago I met somebody in one of the food cycle projects. She was a retired civil servant who I I sat and had the meal with her, and she's whispering to me, saying, I don't need this meal, dear. I I come for the company. And it's just like, well, and you need something, don't you? So you're coming for a reason, and yeah, actually, you're coming for the community, and that's what it's all about, just like bread and butter, right? Yeah, and she's pointing through the window saying, That's where I live, just over there. And I'm hoping X and Y will come tonight because uh I met them here six months ago and I befriended them, but they were both homeless, and I've managed to get them housed in my block of fat. Amazing, and it was just like holy shit, isn't that a fantastic story?

SPEAKER_04 22:25

Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Yeah, it's interesting how that's the community help in itself.

SPEAKER_04 22:30

Yeah, totally, and I think you know, you get in the rat race, don't you? And you think, oh well, I'm alright, I'm in the rat race, but you miss all of that beautiful community caring that just happens like naturally.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah, and I can see Matthew doing something similar, right? He can feel it in him, can't you?

SPEAKER_04 22:49

But you see that with all of our members, you see them like giving each other the next step up, giving each other the pat on the back, the vote of confidence. People that don't understand how community operates just don't get that, which is why we always say, come out and see the hubs.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Yeah, and that that's a really interesting point, as well, isn't it? Even the way you phrased it, how community operates. You've got to know the nuts and bolts.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

And the only way you'll tend to typically find that out is living in it.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

Yeah, and being open to people.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

So

Find Us, Join A Hub, Stay Connected

SPEAKER_02 23:29

if you'd like to know more about the Bread and Butter Thing and what we get up to, you can find us at Team TBBT on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter on LinkedIn or online at breadandbutterthame.org.

SPEAKER_04 23:39

And if you've got any feedback or thoughts on the podcast or'd like to come and be our guest, drop us an email at podcast at breadandbutterthing.org.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

And we are always open to new members at all of our hubs. So if you or someone you know would benefit from our affordable food scheme, you can find your nearest hub on the Become a Member pages of the website.

SPEAKER_04 23:56

And please do all those things that podcasts ask you to do. Like us, subscribe, leave us a review, share us with your friends, and chat about us on social.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

And we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

See ya.