All The Hats You Wear (& Roles You Play) as a Coach

Emily Merrell and Lexie Smith do a deep dive into all the hats you wear as a coach beyond, well, coaching. They provide insight into what hats they have worn throughout their ventures, and what roles you should expect and prepare to handle and address as you embark on your coaching journey.

Here’s what you’ll learn: 

• The various hats you wear as a coach beyond just coaching
• Reflections on what has come up during their own coaching ventures and with Ready Set Coach clients
• An overview of all the different challenges and opportunities that will arise when coaching a client (and how to prepare to handle them)
• What is your job as a coach, and what is your job not when coaching
• What else you should create in order to best support your clients
• The value you provide as a coach 
• Tips on not overstepping or crossing boundaries as a coach
• And More!

Follow Em & Lex on Instagram at @readysetcoachprogram

Learn more about the Ready Set Coach Program at Readysetcoachprogram.com

Learn more about Six Degrees Society and THEPRBAR inc.

Transcript

 All The Hats You Wear (& Roles You Play) as a Coach - Podcast Transcript

SPEAKERS

Lexie Smith, Emily Merrell

Emily Merrell  

I am in Lex, two imperfect six figure business coaches, co founders and friends who decided to combine our superpowers to bring to market something we wish we had when we entered the world of coaching,

Lexie Smith  

a real non BS intimate and fun community built with integrity, intention, and a few glasses

Emily Merrell  

of wine. In this podcast we get real, real about life, business relationships, and what it really takes to find your version of success in the world of coaching. Are you ready Lex?

Lexie Smith  

I'm Sarah M.

Emily Merrell  

Let's coach

Lexie Smith  

guess what everyone were together in person? I'm touching Emily.

Emily Merrell  

I think we're confusing people. I know. Everyone thinks we're already together.

Lexie Smith  

But we're like literally physically together. Para California. Emily is here. She got me. I got her down. She flew in Wednesday to LA I went into LA Thursday attended a magical six degrees event and then swap chair back up to Ventura and

Emily Merrell  

do you like Fonterra do are we looking at houses today or what

Lexie Smith  

I know right guys and all the Denver people start screaming

Emily Merrell  

we are trying though you know what would be an in between for both of us like a happy medium between the two of us?

Lexie Smith  

Like location wise. Yeah, I don't know geography. State guess. Like where we go? It's in between Arizona. Arizona.

Emily Merrell  

I get I've never been what I know. Fun fact.

Lexie Smith  

Really?

Emily Merrell  

I know. I would love to go I love desert. I love ocean.

Lexie Smith  

Okay. Yeah, guys, I'm pulling up a map. So we'll do a

Emily Merrell  

we could do Utah, Salt Lake City,

Lexie Smith  

Salt Lake City, or we can bring you to Sedona since you've never done Sedona we'll be speaking in places though, guys, I brought Emily to Ojai, California. super interested. If anyone listening has been what do you think of Oh, hi.

Emily Merrell  

I loved it. So I had been to Ohio when I was 16 and went for a cousin's wedding. So I knew and remembered nothing. So it's really fun to go and we went wine tasting, which I haven't done in a very long time. It is one of my favorite hobbies in the world if that can be considered a hobby.

Lexie Smith  

Is anyone really surprised?

Emily Merrell  

Me once went to Ojai Valley in which everyone's like you have to go check it out. You have to see it. It'd be a beautiful place to stay for a weekend to like a staycation. So so many things have happened and percolated for us I feel like this weekend in terms of things we want to do and need to do.

Lexie Smith  

It's been inspirational and we got to bring or see one of our amazing friends and members of our active cohort Lindsey Julian joined us both in LA will you

Emily Merrell  

use our ticker? And then I started for the event and then we saw our no hi

Lexie Smith  

and met her fiance fiance Luke. And so guys, we're just riding on a high here and I will say yesterday, Emily also were this really cute hat. She did. She did it was I'm sure you'll see pics. And the thing about hats is when you're coach, there's actually a lot of other hats you wear as a coach and that is what we are talking about today in our app. See

Emily Merrell  

this? Here we are, what a transition.

Lexie Smith  

You got to see it in real life. How was it in real life?

Emily Merrell  

It was great. It was great. She didn't even flinch. It was just so seamless. But when you talk about hats, and when I was wearing a baseball cap, there's bucket hats. There's

Lexie Smith  

fedoras big girl hat craze.

Emily Merrell  

What was the SNL skit recently? It was like, Girl with a big hat.

Lexie Smith  

I'm sorry, I don't know. Okay, I'll

Emily Merrell  

play it for you later. But what do you think of hat? What do you think about for a coach?

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, so basically what we want to talk about today guys is coaching right? You're teaching someone you're coaching someone how to do something, but there's a lot of other things that you end up doing as a coach and they aren't as commonly talked about and we can tell you this from personal experience as being coaches and also through coaching many other coaches that the things we're going to talk about today really do come up no matter what type of coach you are. So one of the first big other hats you wear the one of the responsibilities or things that will happen when you are coaching is holding space. And Emily what does this look like?

Emily Merrell  

First and foremost I feel like I say holding space a lot that it's now become something that is made fun of in my family for like oh, there's Emily she's gotta go hold

Lexie Smith  

space for people should come a drinking game anytime Emily Holt says hold Space Shot shot

Emily Merrell  

shot, to holding space and it means is active, it means active listening. Basically, it means just creating a safe container where you can be that person where someone can talk to that they can, they can say the good things, the bad things, and you can make sense of the things that they said.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, yeah, it's a place where you know, your client to vent and feel heard and supported. And obviously, depending on the type of coach you are, this can become amplified or you this might come up a lot more. But for you know, personally with PR bar, right, PR coaching is very niche and specific. And this, this was something I didn't really anticipate going in to do this, I thought I could show up, teach you a PR, and then we'd be Bada, boom, Bada bing out. And that's just not what happened a lot, a lot more comes up. When you're in a coaching container, it's vulnerable.

Emily Merrell  

It's super vulnerable. I feel like if I don't have a client cry at least once a week, then like, Am I doing my job. And because starting a business, it doesn't matter how successful you are, it still brings up a lot of emotion in you, it could bring in judgment or fear of what people outside of outside of them, maybe their family or friends or thinking about them, it could bring up scarcity, it could bring up exhaustion, it could bring up self doubt, like, Am I doing the right thing should I have not left this big job behind? Should I get a corporate job. So there's a lot of emotions, even dating, like I've had dating or emotions come up before relationship. turbulences come into our session. So again, while we're not therapists, there are a lot of pieces that you will need to hold in support, and help kind of unwind for these individuals.

Lexie Smith  

Exactly. It's kind of leads us into another hat. So you'll obviously be a guide in whatever area of coaching you are. But you're also going to be a guide and a teacher in areas of self exploration, right? It's going to be your job sometimes to ask the hard questions. And while that can be really uncomfortable, it's really, really pivotal to your clients growth.

Emily Merrell  

Yeah, and, uh, one thing we were talking about this week, weekend, we did a lot of wine drinking, and I've been kind of I have been exploring this new modality called gene keys. And I'm growing and learning. And so as I grow and learn, thinking, how can I bring my own learnings into my practices with my my clients and our clients? Like, is that something this is a tool that's been really resourceful for me? I can I share this with my clients and help them navigate life's their life's work when they're feeling like they have no idea where they're going?

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, it's another tool to add to your tool belt, so to say. So holding space is a big one being a guide and teacher beyond just the niche they hire you for. Another big one is becoming a true accountability partner. Oh, for

Emily Merrell  

sure. Yeah, I think that's a huge one. I think it's a huge one. And that accountability is a lot of the reason why people are hiring you. Like we all know, they want to get to their transformation. So they need the hand holding or they need the homework or they need the they need the tracker or timeline to help them get there.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, it's a big one. And you can hold accountability as a one on one coach. I think though, through Ready Set coach, the thing that's so beautiful that we've seen in this container, and if you're new listener here, Ready Set coach is a intimate group program. The ladies with in the cohort help hold each other accountable. So that's something we set up really intentionally and we actually assign accountability partners. So it's something for you to think about as a coach is do you want to be the accountability partner? Or if you are hosting a group container, is there a way you can activate other members within the group to be another extension of accountability?

Emily Merrell  

Yeah. And accountability is something that you should be kind of plugging into your life throughout as well. I'm, I think both of both of us have accountability in each other. Yeah, for sure. But even for me, I love working out in the morning. So I found myself an accountability buddy on the East Coast who forces me to get out of bed in the morning and do my workouts and you can bet your bottom dollar I don't do the workouts

Lexie Smith  

when she is not there. Then you're like snooze alarm. Exactly.

Emily Merrell  

Exactly. So accountability is such a great part of like your role as a coach and crafting those moments for them. What are some other ways?

Lexie Smith  

I think one to think about two is that coaches provide tools and resources beyond the sessions. Typically, of course, this is dependent on the structure, but again, just use our example. So we have bi weekly group live coaching sessions, but in between those sessions, we have modules, we have homework, we have templates. So as a coach, it's something to think about what tools or resources can you craft and provide to your clients in between your coaching staff questions that can help them grow and can help really deliver that transformation.

Emily Merrell  

And also can look like strategic introductions, making sure that they're introduced to the right communities to the right thought leaders to the right. What are they called? Partners partners? Elaborate, yeah, run in partners. I thought talking to Lindsay was really informative, because she kept referencing people I'd made intros for her. And I was like, Oh, my God, I completely forgot to introduce you to this person. And then she's cultivated this, this full relationship with that individual beyond the the introduction is made.

Lexie Smith  

If you're an ambitious, professional consultant, or business owner, who is feeling called to do more, be more or make more, we'd like to invite you to learn more about Ready Set coach,

Emily Merrell  

do you feel called to create change, help others and do something outside of your day to day that generates true impact?

Lexie Smith  

While you may or may not be content with your day job or existing business? Do you feel called to dip your toes into something more? Whether it's tapping into another zone of genius, or the side hustle is calling your name? Are you ready to explore what the more would look like?

Emily Merrell  

Do you feel like your business or career is leaving money on the table, or you're looking to launch a new revenue stream or side hustle,

Lexie Smith  

turning your expertise into a coaching revenue stream or side hustle is rewarding, impactful, and a great business model. It's the triple threat, multibillion dollar industry that Perhaps you've been looking for this whole time,

Emily Merrell  

if you want to explore more on how to add a coaching revenue stream into your life, we invite you to explore our website. Ready Set, coach program.com

Lexie Smith  

applications are now open for our 2023 cohort. You know what I think is really important that Emily just highlighted as well guys is to you know, we've had episodes on selling so by all means, like tap back, understand the value that you have as a coach beyond once again, those coaching sessions. And that's something you can bring up in the sales process, like by working becomes a competitive advantage, right, by working with, you know, Emily, Merrill, you're also getting an extension or access to Emily Merrill's network. Right. So if that's something that it doesn't need to be networking or what have you, but if there are benefits to working with you, or values to working with you beyond once again, those coaching containers, that's something to to highlight to bring up for sure.

Emily Merrell  

Yeah, I think that's a big one. Are there any other hats that I'm missing?

Lexie Smith  

I mean, this one kind of, I think crosses over into a fair amount of buckets, but I do think it does, buckets, I think it deserves its own bucket hat. And as you really are a sounding board. And again, likely in areas beyond what they initially hired you for. The thing I do want to say here is do be intentional, that you're not stepping too out of bounds with your expertise. So an example I have here, again, we've got a PR just because PR is really niche, whereas we've already said coach, we really do holistically coach them, but with the PR Barnsbury PR. So something I noticed with a lot of clients lately is they were getting really, really overwhelmed and really, really stuck. And so it was preventing us from getting to the PR work. So I know my lane and I went and hired a executive functioning coach, actually from our current cohort to teach me how to better coach people struggling with overwhelm. So now I actually have some foundation to help them so

Emily Merrell  

blacks we talked about all the different hats that other coaches wear, what are some coaches? What are some hats that you do not wear? Like what are some things that your job is not right?

Lexie Smith  

So again, guys, those are the things that we you should be prepared to address as a coach, this is what it is not your job as a coach. So first up, it's not your job to do it for them. What I know crazy,

Emily Merrell  

is it because I'm a coach, not a consultant, right guys,

Lexie Smith  

remember the whole intention and purpose of coaching you're teaching someone how to fish, you're not fishing for them. So I know it can be very tempting, when something comes intuitively to you to want to help to want to jump in and do something for them. But truly, you're not doing your job as a coach. If you do what else then

Emily Merrell  

also I want to just squirrel really quickly. Same thing with delegating. If you're hiring someone to delegate it, that means to not do it for them, teach them how to do it. It will save you in the long run. The other thing and this is a big one because you can get really excited sometimes, but you can't guarantee results. It is incredibly unethical to guarantee results when they are in a coaching container. Because you are not a fortune teller.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, you can speak to outcomes of past clients you can speak to this is really the direction and the goal will be working towards but Again, do not guarantee results. Another one, do not be available 24/7 hours a day, unless this is the structure you've put into your platform. But if that is what you're doing, that's a really quick path to burnout. So hold boundaries.

Emily Merrell  

Exactly. And if you for whatever reason, you're like, I need to respond immediately, or I'll forget, respond and schedule it. And it goes out on Monday morning.

Lexie Smith  

Yep. We kind of talked about this when we talked about hats, but it really isn't your job to be an expert in everything, stay in your lane and

Emily Merrell  

refer out to places where your expertise can be better served by someone else. This is a hard one for me. It is, but this is true. And this is you can also be selective in this, but you don't have to be their BFF. You Your job is not to be their BFF. And it's not to say what they want to hear. So for example, when you go shopping with your best friend, and she's like, how does it look? And you know, if you say it looks terrible, and she will go off the rails? Yeah, you can tell her she It looks terrible. Like your job is to tell her if you're a stylist, and your styling coach, and you're helping this person find their style, you tell her the truth.

Lexie Smith  

Yep, yep. Another one. It's not your job to answer everything for them, or to make decisions for them. This is a big one. Yeah. So you can of course advise. But ultimately, it's up to them. To find conclusions. You can pose thought provoking questions, you can of course, act as a guide. But at the end of the day, it's really their job to make the decision to answer the questions.

Emily Merrell  

This is a hard one to because ego can come into it and you're like, Oh, well, they want me they want my opinion. But you have to really, really, really be careful with that and step back and be like, No, it's not about me, not what I would do, I would go home and take a nap. That would be what I do. But you know, the reality is like what you said, asking them the questions, and making sure that they know that like their gut has the answer.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, it's really empowering them to come to their own conclusion in whatever, you know, lane of coaching you're in. And another one, I guess the last one I'll mention is, it's not your job to heal past traumas, you're not a therapist, unless you are and unless this is literally what you're coaching on. You're gonna see traumas come up when you coach people,

Emily Merrell  

for sure. And you get back to what we just said a few moments ago. You don't have to have all the answers and can point them in the right direction.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, anything else?

Emily Merrell  

I was gonna say like you're a cruise director, essentially. Yeah,

Lexie Smith  

you know, there are some things you, Emily and I, this happens to us because we care so deeply about everyone we work for, and we want the best for them. And you want to again, search for all the answers and help them heal all the things but really, guys stay in your lane. Remember like, for Emily nice business coaches are hiring us to teach them how to have a successful coaching business. And while of course, we want to hug them and help them through all the 30 years of their trauma. It's not our center job,

Emily Merrell  

it's a lot of bandwidth to take on for us. So I think it's also important to think back when you go on a plane and they tell you put your mask on first. You also have to put your mask on first. Oh, good. Well, you know, full circle,

Lexie Smith  

coaching on guys, that's a sticky note, or I have sticky notes on my desk. Sometimes I rotated them of reminders for me. At one point I had one that was don't be a helicopter coach, kind of like Don't be a helicopter Mom, where I felt like if they weren't fully taking advantage of me something was wrong. I also have one on my desk that Emily sees right now that says Get neutral. That one's a big one for me, because I can get so emotionally invested, I need to remind myself to get neutral for a coach. But I think putting your mask on first is Whoa, that's a sticky note.

Emily Merrell  

It's a good one. Well, let's see if what you said about a helicopter coach is interesting, because there's some people you will find that are super users who are blowing up your DMS are blowing up your Slack or whatever the program is that you're using all the time and asking you all the questions and the name of the people that you hear silence from and might be going further. Which is wild.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah. Yeah. It's not your job. Yeah. To make them utilize and take full advantage of the container that you're providing them. It's up to them to show up Yeah,

Emily Merrell  

it's on them. So you can lead a horse to water but you can't force

Lexie Smith  

them to drink.

Emily Merrell  

Amen system and understand. Okay,

Lexie Smith  

so with that said, guys, we'd love as always to hear kind of some of your thoughts, some things that you have experienced if you're in the coaching industry already. Some other hats that you've worn or any questions that you have. What's your homework today like? homework I think find your sticky note. Now you don't have to literally do sticky note, although I think it's really helpful. Find something from this episode. If nothing from this episode resonated fine, like go head up a Pinterest board, but find your sticky note figure out what is that reminder that you're going to need? Is it get neutral? Is it I don't be a helicopter coach is it? I'm not their therapist, find your sticky note and make that somewhere actively or visually available so that you can see that when you're coaching.

Emily Merrell  

Oh, I love it. I think that's great homework. And for everyone listening thank you so much for joining today's episode of the REI set coach

Lexie Smith  

podcast.

Emily Merrell  

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