In this episode, Emily Merrell and Lexie Smith drop tips on how to step away from busyness as a coach. They break down what busyness might look like in different phases of your business life and share necessary mindset reframes they’ve utilized to find a healthier relationship with time and reduce overwhelm.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Follow Em & Lex on Instagram at @readysetcoachprogram
Learn more about the Ready Set Coach Program at Readysetcoachprogram.com
Learn more about Six Degrees Society and THEPRBAR inc.
In this episode, Emily Merrell and Lexie Smith drop tips on how to step away from busyness as a coach. They break down what busyness might look like in different phases of your business life and share necessary mindset reframes they’ve utilized to find a healthier relationship with time and reduce overwhelm.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
Follow Em & Lex on Instagram at @readysetcoachprogram
Learn more about the Ready Set Coach Program at Readysetcoachprogram.com
Learn more about Six Degrees Society and THEPRBAR inc.
How to Step Away From Busyness as a Coach - Podcast Transcript
Emily Merrell 00:48
Hi, partner in crime.
Lexie Smith 00:49
Hi, friends. How are you today?
Emily Merrell 00:51
I'm good. Someone was asking me the other day. Who was it? She was saying she was listening to her shout out to Lynne. Actually, she was saying she's like I couldn't tell who was talking. So hi, this is Emily. This is Lexi. I thought that was funny too. It's like if you hadn't seen our YouTube, or you didn't know our voices, you don't know who's talking.
Lexie Smith 01:13
That's true. You have a very like sultry voice that's made for the mic. I personally don't love my voice. But what this reminds me of on a quick squirrel. I listened to my favorite murder is like my favorite podcast. It's George, Georgia and Karen. And I've never seen what they looked like. And so when you only hear someone's voices, and then all of a sudden you see what they look like. You're like, Was that what you're expecting? Is that what you were not expecting? So it's people who only hear us talk and have never seen us if they're surprised when they see our our faces.
Emily Merrell 01:52
I know they think I'm the gorgeous blonde or
Lexie Smith 01:57
the the sultry racially ambiguous brunette? No,
Emily Merrell 02:01
yeah. Nailed it. Nailed it. It is it is funny. I think I have a face for podcasting. I think you have a face for TV. So I think
Lexie Smith 02:13
Have you heard that before? No, no, I have no, that's great.
Emily Merrell 02:16
So like, historically, people would be like, you have a face for radio. Which means don't show your face or ugly.
Lexie Smith 02:23
Coffee out guys. Emily's tired today because she's dealing with reading addiction. I'm tired, because I just got back from five days in Nashville, with a one year old family and my husband and it was a work trip and I'm tired. So
Emily Merrell 02:44
it's, it's tired to Thursday. That's what you call it. I'm actually curious for listeners when you guys read a book? Do you have this problem where you feel like all you can think about is reading the book. So like, I'll give you an example. When I start reading a book. I don't care if I'm on a deadline, if I have something that is super important that needs to be sent out. The only thought in my brain is like, How can I carve out some time to finish this book. Once the book is complete, my brain is clear and I am able to continue moving on but have this like proper book reading addiction. And when I was little, it'd be so bad. My mom would joke she'd be like, you literally aren't allowed to start a book during playdates or like when friends are visiting because you just cut them out. And you know me lacks. I'm like the most social butterfly person and two shoes. Like you can't bring a book on a honeymoon. And I bought three and I read all of them in two days. So I was able to hang out with him after that.
Lexie Smith 03:44
I I've gone through not that you asked me you asked the listeners, but they can't respond to you right now. So I'm gonna respond to you right now. It's a phenomenal book. I've had moments in life. Yes, but it's definitely I'm not in a moment right now. Although I have a girlfriend who is fulfilled in her love life through a book series right now. She says she has no desire to date because of how fulfilled she is by this, this book series. And so I bought it and I'm gonna start it on my next vacation in a couple of weeks. What's it called? That's great. A thorn of roses or something? Oh, yes.
Emily Merrell 04:25
Everyone's talked about this. This is like the next Shades of Grey. Yeah. So I'll have to give myself a weekend is what you're saying. So I don't distract myself during the week reading this book,
Lexie Smith 04:36
reading this book when there's so much to do in life. And when there's so much to do in life, one of the things that Emily and I hear all the freaking time and to be honest, we get caught up insane. It is the phrase, I'm so busy. I'm too busy because I was so busy. And actually This is a thing we saw recently with our cohort and some of their check in forms. We have everyone fill out checking forms, and we got a lot of people writing in in different iterations. Like I'm so busy so I haven't been able to do X. I'm so busy. So I'm feeling behind why this is a season that's so busy and I don't have time to do X. So Emily and I are transitioning guys, here's the transition decided to walk you guys through an exercise. We actually walked our cohort through high level on how to reframe time management.
Emily Merrell 05:32
Oh, and I love this because they'll call it out. I definitely in New York City, Lex was that person, like I was your weekend. And I big oh my god, I was so busy. I was this week was so busy. And there was this era of self importance. When I talked about how busy I was, like I felt like I was accomplishment equals busyness or busyness equals accomplishment. So I think D visiting the busine D busy in your life will help you also realize like what what is it that you truly do want to accomplish and measure and feel gratification and success when you accomplish those things? Yeah, and I think that's a thing that we
Lexie Smith 06:15
called our cohort out on, and is very real in adulthood. Is everyone is so busy, right? Everyone, everyone is saying it everyone is saying it. So we're gonna walk you guys through kind of step by step and activity. So here's your opportunity. If you are on a walk to honestly pause this and wait till you get home so you can take out a pen and paper this is going to be a very interactive episode. So when you're ready, guys, here's your moment to pause. If you're not ready and resume, we're going to bring you through an exercise. Emily, Will you kick us off, please?
Emily Merrell 06:56
Oh, I'd be delighted. So first thing that you were Irish was that Irish? I don't know today. What accent?
Lexie Smith 07:05
We lost it. Continue and continue.
Emily Merrell 07:08
Alright, mateys, here we go.
Lexie Smith 07:11
Okay, all right, no, hey,
Emily Merrell 07:14
guys, lack of sleep, y'all lack of sleep. So first thing you need to do is make a list of what you have to get done this week. So this podcast whenever you were listening to it, if it's a Monday, if it's the end of the week, still think about the week ahead the next five days, seven days if you want to throw in some weekends, but make a list of what you have to get done this week. So then, take a pen and put what day each task needs to be done by at the latest. So you might be going to a wedding in Italy and need to book a flight and you know, flights are going up. So you're saying I need to book this by Thursday at the latest. Or you know that your daughter needs to get into daycare. And the more time you spend not researching your daughter going into daycare, the more money you're spending on your nanny Lexi that it isn't important to do this week, so you can expect to be in daycare in the next three years of your life.
Lexie Smith 08:21
So basically dump all the today's work business life, everything in between into ends point, put a date. So some of these you're gonna have date some you might put a date to but it can be I have to finish a work proposal by Friday at noon, it could be a daily thing, I have to pick up my daughter every single day at x time from daycare. So So step one is that list, then we want you to take a pause. Check in with how you're feeling. Look at that list. How are you feeling? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you feeling like actually you know what? I got this? Are you feeling confident? Are you feeling excited? Are you feeling broke? Feeling? What are the different things that are coming up when you
Emily Merrell 09:07
see this? Yeah, so give yourself some space to jot down those feelings too. So you can revisit them down the line? And then think as you're looking at this list, are you worried any section or task won't get done? And if so write down why we all have a reason why is researching. Researching daycare is going to take too long that it's not it's not really a big priority. It's a life priority, but it's not a big priority. And I don't have that time to give to the research I want to put forth. So write down all of the reasons why that that task won't get accomplished.
Lexie Smith 09:43
And if for some reason you're like well, I can accomplish everything. Then looking at that list. Is there one item that specifically makes your heart rate elevated a little bit or looks a little bit more stressful or it feels a little bit more overwhelming and two ends point exploring physically write down why. It's so hard pause. Seriously guys do what we just said, Do listen to us.
Emily Merrell 10:11
Or else, we're just gonna get to you.
Lexie Smith 10:14
Now, we are going to share something with you. And that is that if we say there is an element to time and being busy, that becomes a choice. What comes up for you?
Emily Merrell 10:36
Oh my gosh, Lex, this is such a, I feel triggered, just by you asking that. What are you saying that reading a book is a choice?
Lexie Smith 10:45
Am I saying that? Hey, guys, I'm gonna repeat it to you again, if I tell you right now, there is an element to time and being busy. That becomes a choice. What comes up? What comes up for you? Are you feeling like, that's privilege? Or you have no idea what my life is like? Or, well, maybe I wasn't busy. But now I have 10 kids and 20 jobs write down what reaction comes up? When we say that?
Emily Merrell 11:15
Lacks, I want to pause there. What comes up for you when that said?
Lexie Smith 11:19
Well, this scenario I've done a lot of work in and we'll kind of get to the reframe that's been really powerful for me. But at this stage in my development of this mindset work, I immediately am reminded that there's truth to that statement. Now, I didn't used to feel that way. I used to come up with a million reasons as to why busyness wasn't a choice, no, well, I have to do this job. And I have to do this job because I have to pay my bills. And I you know, I tried to just prove that 500 ways what about you? I
Emily Merrell 11:57
definitely think that the age has definitely garnered wisdom and not feeling as caught up and have to, there was a lot of have tools in my youth where I felt like I had to make an appearance. And I think that was also linked to ego and feeling like I needed to stay top of mind and relevant. And I'm a lot more boundaried. And I'm a lot more selective of how I spend my time at this point in my life. So my choices for going out with strangers versus giving myself a Netflix show. The I'll make that decision. I don't feel that pressure, I don't feel a societal pressure of busyness the way that I used to. Lacks, how can people find out how to work with
Lexie Smith 12:43
us? Super simple. Go to ReadySet. Coach program.com They can show notes. So guys, if you're like, that's cool, I'm in Lex, how fun for you. How do I get there? Stick with us. Okay, so just we're exploring how us telling you that time and being busy can become a choice, and you just wrote down how you feel. Now, going back to that task that you identified, the one that was seemed overwhelming or extra stressful or hard to accomplish. Emily and I want you to right now force yourself to figure out a solution to make that possible. Now here's what I mean. If for some reason you look at the task that is I need to or one of the things I'm not going to get done is watching my ReadySet coach module homework, right? Let's say you're one of the gals in our cohort. And we were going to say, well, we you have to find a way to do that. How would you do it and Emily, give give them some examples of what we're talking about here. What are the type of ways you can make time.
Emily Merrell 13:52
So some some great ways to think about making time could be waking up 30 minutes earlier for you to accomplish the thing that you wanted to do. So that could be like even having your laptop next to your bed and still being in bed and watching the module before you start your day. It could be seen a little later to do that thing. It could be blocking out your calendar to do the thing it could be one of the things I've been loving to do is turning things on like 1.7 or two, two times the speed. So and being like okay, this is a 20 minute module. I'm gonna give myself 15 minutes. I can do it and carving out a time that I know what I know how long the time is, I can carve out that set amount of time. Those are a few of my favorite things. I think also thinking of all the other tasks that you have to do like groceries or laundry. Is there an opportunity rather than you doing the laundry and cleaning your house where you splurge and you get a cleaning person to come once a month and help take that by that time back from me? Or can you get your groceries delivered before you're hosting your inlaws versus like spending two hours Walking around the grocery store, like, are there ways that you can maximize and you can trade that time for another energy? Or it could it be asking your partner to, to go for grocery shopping or your sister who's already going grocery shopping to pick out a few things for you. So thinking of like other solutions, and not just adding everything fall on you.
Lexie Smith 15:20
And here's something to you guys, is we're not for this particular activity asking you to create a whole new recurring routine, or saying for this week for this one task, is there something you can do? Is there something that can be moved to help you get this done? One example that I had, personally, is CJ and I have a very set budget for our nanny, and she comes 2020 hours a week at this point in time. And prior to Nashville, I was feeling very, very overwhelmed. Because I was going to take a couple days off and oh my gosh, like how am I gonna get everything I mean to be done in those 20 hours of time? And he's like, why don't you get her for two extra hours. And I'm like, Oh, my God that goes over my budget. Like, let's see, that's what like 40 extra dollars, one time, we're not including, you know, every single week, we're not upping 40 extra dollars times four times 12. It's just this one week. So I had to allow my brain to get a little bit more flexible. And actually think a little bit more short term solution to make the space to get things done. Habit stacking is a really good one to actually that you you brought up something habit stacking example.
Emily Merrell 16:33
Yeah, so habit stacking would be and I actually do this with courses that I take is I'll put something on in the background while I'm doing a task like making Canva graphics. So I can I can absorb the information of the course. But also, I'm creating something so I'm able to like maximize my time. Another thing of habit stacking could be you know, watching the modules while you're working out in the morning, like can you if you want to do a 15 minute workout? Can you do a 15 minute workout to the 15 Minute modules? Or can you take a walk and take that dedicated time and put it on on your phone as he walks so doing two things at once that you feel like have to haves and have to be done, but maximizing your time to
Lexie Smith 17:14
do them both? Totally. And what we want to challenge you with this episode in this activity is trying to find ownership over how you spend your time and begin to kindly call yourself out when you hear yourself saying or leaning on the phrase I'm too busy. Because 9.9 Maybe a 10 out of 10 times that activity we just did. There is a solution that can be made. Now it might not be a solution that you're comfortable with. It might not be one you're ready to set as a new routine. But there's a choice. And when you start to have take that ownership back it can be actually really empowering. And I talked about this earlier. But the phrase that I have adopted that has been absolutely transformative for my mindset and how I handle overwhelm. And how I do all the things is when I say I'm too busy, or I don't have time, I literally stop and I say I'm choosing not to make this a priority, or I'm choosing not to make time for this today. And that's okay. And it's reminding me that I have a choice that my life isn't controlling me. I'm the one in the driver's seat.
Emily Merrell 18:36
Back. Yeah. And you're driving a really fast car. But I want to challenge you all to think like if that thing that you want to get done isn't prioritized. What can you brainstorm? Why can you brainstorm why that thing isn't getting done. So I'll give an example. I bought a course, like a modular course that self guided, I think before my pregnancy, and I was like, I will use this or while I was pregnant. And I was like, Oh, I'll accomplish it while I'm on maternity leave. And the last thing I wanted to do was watch a course and listen to a course and do work while I was on maternity leave. And the year was 2021 when I had my baby the year now is 2023. And I am halfway through the course. And I am choosing to go through all the courses that I bought. And I'm giving myself a task every single day to watch at least an hour at 1.75 speed of these modules into to accomplish the things that I invested money in. So does that mean I'm doing every course that I bought at the same time? No, it is finishing one thing and then moving on to the next which is great. It's been like my version of a podcast.
Lexie Smith 19:50
So how did you here's the question that Emily, how would you transform these courses from not being a priority to becoming A priority.
Emily Merrell 20:01
I transformed it because it was looking at my budget that really helped me realize like how much time I how much money I had spent on these things. And yet I had nothing to say about the things that I had acquired. And so for me, it was knowing that my mornings are usually pretty quiet. And I like to do. Today I spent my morning on social media, putting outlining social media for the next few weeks, and knew that I could choose to accomplish this. I also emailed the founder of the company and told her I was in the process of accomplishing it. And that was really helpful, because I articulated to her that I am excited to be going through it and I was in momentum going through it. So speaking it out loud to another person was like its own accountability, in one way.
Lexie Smith 20:54
So the question for you guys is, in looking at your list of things, you're not making a priority? What can you do? Or what do you need to do to make that thing a priority? And I'll also put this specifically to your coaching business, if there's a task within your coaching business that you're not prioritizing, what do you need to do to make it a priority. So here are some examples of things that might work for you. Because this is so specific to who you are as an individual, it could be, I need to attach a trackable deadline, I need to attach a prize or a monetary incentive to it and you kind of talked about that you looked at how much money you spent and you're like, I need, I need to watch these things, right, or it's a waste. I need. You also said I need to put it out publicly or to someone so that there's some accountability. It could be I need to have my wife printed and framed and put over my desk. So I'm reminded each and every day, why the heck I'm doing this, it could be honestly I need to create a new routine or go to a new space that gets me excited to work on my business like em, you started going to a new co working space, right? So maybe it's time guys for you to get out of your comfort zone and give your daily routine, a little bit of a shaking.
Emily Merrell 22:13
And honestly, shaking up the routine has been so transformative to being in focus and getting things done. While being at home. I have a bed right behind me. I'm like, taking a nap right now.
Lexie Smith 22:24
But it really just sounds so nice. It does nap yesterday when I got back from the airport. Like I'm going to take a 30 minute nap turned into an hour and then I'm going to work I did work after but Anyways, that was naps. I digress. So this entire episode guys was one long homework assignment. And it's really our intention. And our goal is for you guys to reclaim. Reclaim ownership of your time and stop letting the concept and the reality sometimes of being too busy stop you from doing the damn thing.
Emily Merrell 23:03
Hell yes. So, goodbye busyness. Hello, actually doing what you want to do. And I when I see you next, I don't want to ask how your weekend was to an answer to a response. It was busy.
Lexie Smith 23:19
All right. There we go. Okay. All right.
Emily Merrell 23:24
We'll see you the next pod casts. If you're enjoying the ReadySet coach podcast, please leave a review wherever you are listening. For more information about Ready Set, coach, Visit Ready Set coach program.com