Client Relations - How to Deal with Client Red Flags in Coaching

This week, Emily Merrell and Lexie Smith dive into the world of Client Relations and break down how to deal with client red flags in the coaching industry. They share lessons learned the hard way, and how to ethically and professionally deal with a variety of challenging client issues in real-time - from clients wanting out of a contract to say no to the wrong fit, to payment issues, and beyond. 

Here’s what you’ll learn: 

• Tips on how to handle a client who wants to break the contract
• Different ways to productively decline working with a client if they’re the wrong fit.
• Em & Lex’s personal experiences dealing with different client red flags
• How to approach tough client conversations professionally
• What to do when you encounter billing problems with a client
• Best practices for seamless client billing
• What your job is as a coach and what it isn’t
• And more! 

Follow Em & Lex on Instagram at @readysetcoachprogram

Learn more about the Ready Set Coach Program at Readysetcoachprogram.com

Learn more about Six Degrees Society and THEPRBAR inc.

Transcript

Client Relations - How to Deal with Client Red Flags in Coaching - Podcast Transcript

SPEAKERS

Lexie Smith, Emily Merrell

Lexie Smith
So I'm at the point with my computer where I can't record because my hard drive is full. And it can't save to the cloud, because my cloud is full. And I understand this is a solvable issue. But also, I haven't solved it. So here we are.

Emily Merrell  

I have probably like 1000 Zoom recordings on my local hard drive that I've never updated elsewhere. I need to delete them. And then the cloud thing. I feel like zoom is threatening us at this point. They're like, if you don't look at

Lexie Smith  

your family on the threat for me. And I went through and I deleted everything. And they're only giving me like five gigabytes, which are don't quote me on that. Or, anyways, I'm at capacity, and I was looking into upgrading. And it's the difference of like, $1,000, which I'm sorry, that's not like, Okay, let me not even think about it decision. I'm kind of like salty, right? I'm salty. Like, don't make me pay $1,000

Emily Merrell  

I definitely think there was someone at zoom, who was like, do you understand that we keep threatening people, but we don't actually follow through. Because I would it'd be like you have 1000 million gigabytes worth of recordings, and you only have like five allowed? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, we'll do something about it. And then they did

Lexie Smith  

something did something about it, essentially. So here we are, through

Emily Merrell  

the facts. I think I might do the transition today. Oh, I know. Wait for it. Okay.

Lexie Smith  

I'm super

Emily Merrell  

zoom reminds me of encroaching in putting boundaries in place. And having a client that doesn't necessarily listen to the boundaries that you put into place, and having to take action against a client who might not have respected set

Lexie Smith  

boundaries. Okay, yeah, it's a threat. The threat is real. I liked it. What do you guys think? Should we pass the baton to Emily? Or should I transition?

Emily Merrell  

You you I think are like a transition coach now officially taught

Lexie Smith  

I coached you on how to do glorious transitions. And here is that transformation in real time happening. I love it.

Emily Merrell  

I think it's wonderful. But no, in all seriousness, I think this is is an important thing to talk about and client relationships, and

Lexie Smith  

relations and red flags and what to do when things aren't all sunny glory, happy camper, unicorns, and puppies.

Emily Merrell  

I want puppies. Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing puppies. Without claws, like all over. I'll

Lexie Smith  

come back to news. Come

Emily Merrell  

back, come back.

Lexie Smith  

So let's talk about guys like how to deal with the red flags. And we put up a poll on our Instagram a couple of weeks ago, whenever you're listening to this probably a month ago or so and asked for people to what they wanted us to talk about on the show. And this request came from actually someone in our current current cloak current cohort, she wanted to know how do you say no to someone when you don't want to work with them so upfront before they're even your client? How do you do that in a respectful way? So Emily, I'm gonna let you take the lead here. How do you say no?

Emily Merrell  

Wow, I feel first and foremost, I feel a little triggered about saying no, because it brings back like lunch vibes being going to sit at a table and someone rejecting so there's a bit of rejection and a mindset thing that as the person even saying, No, I need to I need to digest to talk about this. But when you meet a client, and you know, this client is the right client, it is like meeting someone you want to date. It is meeting someone you want to be friends with, it's meeting someone that just feels aligned in the way that you're able to help them and you know, their energy is going to show up and they'll be able to to get to the transformation that you want to deliver for them or deliver with them. When you meet someone that is a no. Same thing energetically. You just you either feel zapped or you feel I mean for me, it's it's like a battery. I feel like I need to go back to my charging station to quickly after I meet this person, and I'm a very high energy individual, so saying no, is it's a dance, it's it's a dance. But it's also something where you're not serving that person. If you say yes, so how do you say no to someone, typically, I like to say no to them by redirecting them in a different direction, and letting them know that, you know, based on the problems that they're bringing to my table, I will be the best person to serve them. And so it starts with an honest confession or an honest conversation, and letting them know that, you know, this book, I think, is a great place for you to start to get to the path in which you want to go. Or maybe I know for a fact that this coach or this individual would be like the perfect fit with this type of energy, this type of problem, this type of person, and you can make an introduction, and I always love making introductions to people where I know that I'm like, paying it forward. Even if this person isn't my person, this totally might be their person. So that's how I'd like to stay say, say no. And I'd rather be direct about it, then ghost them. And then on the flip side, as someone who is, you know, talking to a coach or whatnot, say no to them directly versus ghosting them, because on the coaching side, it sucks. Tell us, are they in or not?

Lexie Smith  

A great, I echo everything you said those short, simple answer. And the one I use time and time again is redirection is being kindly honest, repeating the problem you're hearing and giving them a different solution. So that could be to Emily's point, sending them in a more helpful direction to another coach, it could be sending them resources, or here's a place I think you should start first. An example that I've had, I have some people come to me who I know aren't even ready for my program, because that's another situation right? So I'll send them to you. I'm like, You know what, go to a, here's a great brand consultant, I think you'd be a great fit for check them out. And you know, feel free to come back, like at a later date if you want to reconnect, but here's some helpful places and another helpful person. In the meantime, I will say the biggest, one of the biggest gifts I've given myself in our businesses. And I, we feel this way too with ReadySet. Coach, this is a mistake we made in a few cohorts, we don't make this anymore, is forcing that yes, the biggest gift, you can say is the gift of No, it's a gift to you. And it's a gift to them, it's a gift to all.

Emily Merrell  

And I and I'm going to be honest about the two of us too, like we both have to vibe with the person because we're both going to be working. So you know, if Lex doesn't feel it, or if I don't feel it with someone, it's a conversation that needs to kind of Gosh, I'm bringing it back to dating. It's like bringing someone into our throttle. Like we need to make sure that appropriate, I'm sorry, guys,

Lexie Smith  

accurate,

Emily Merrell  

accurate, like we need to be able to mesh with them and meld with them. And we need to be able to speak their language because if I speak their language, that's great. But that's not what they're targeting. That's not what they're signing up for. They're signing up for both of our languages. And that's been in any relationship, just a it's been discussion. And that's been a conversation that Lex and I and I have you had to walk through and learn and navigate. Especially we get stronger at trusting our guts as as the cohorts go on.

Lexie Smith  

And it's not easy right to say no to money. I think another thing too, if you guys are doing a group program, and you have some people already enlisted evaluating for the group at large, because there is something to be said about letting someone into a sacred space that isn't a right fit, you're going to feel that they're going to feel that everyone's going to feel that it's going to bring a different energy to the room and it's going to affect the overall experience. So be kind to those you are working with to yourself and to the person at the other end of that Zoom call or phone call or email chain and just part ways, respectfully, so own the power of No. Now let's talk about you think they're great. So you say yes. And then you start working together. And we're going to talk through a few different things that can go wrong. The first one on the table is what happens if pretty quickly. You identify or they identify that it doesn't seem to be a great fit. And in fact, it's so much not a great fit that they want out and they want to break contract. How do you handle that?

Emily Merrell  

Oh, God likes me to drink wine during these really big conversations. Oh, well, I think I mean, we have real expect examples and experiences to share so this is something we like to show you guys are underbelly and you know, we're not all sunshine and roses and puppies like Lex had mentioned. Yeah, and I think that that real client situation where you You don't feel like you feel anxious with them showing up, and they feel anxious about showing up. I'm of the mindset. And I think you're of the same mindset to, don't hold them hostage. Like, if if they have done the work and they've gone through like four months, and then at the end of it, they're like, I haven't done, I haven't gotten the results and then one out, that's a very different scenario than like, day one, they're like, I don't feel it. And you're like, I'm not feeling it too. I every time I see your face, I'm I feel uncomfortable and anxious. And I'm dreading you coming to these calls, come up with a scenario that is, again, like the blessing release scenario where it can be mutually beneficial for both of you, maybe it's keeping their deposit and giving them certain resources or giving them like a one on one coaching call with you, if it's a group component, but then blessing and releasing them into the wild. We've had a few scenarios where things have the hiccups that come up in client's life. And, again, we're not going to force you to join our program, we want to make sure that you are excited to be there, because we're excited to lead you. But we also want to be mindful that like shit happens in life. And and we need to respond and respect accordingly. Do you have anything to add to that? Lacks?

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, no. I mean, again, I echo everything, I'll talk through a few specific experiences high level, obviously protecting names and what have you. But I think you need to allow yourself the flexibility to handle it on a case by case basis. There are it's totally okay. If you decide to stick by your contract, if that's what feels right to you. It's totally okay to to break your own contract in the sense of letting them out of it and giving a refund. So two examples I want to point to, I had one gal this was a couple of years ago who I kind of knew this was before I own the power of know that she wasn't going to be a great fit, but she was willing to, you know, pay all the monies. And at that point that that was exciting. So I let her in. Week one, she went through Module One, this was for the PR bar. And she came at me with one of the more ugly responses that I think I've received in my life. Unkind putting me down once out of her contract. This module is terrible. Now, let me first acknowledge how many things I felt in that moment. I felt impostor syndrome, I felt put down, I felt embarrassed. I felt angry. I felt humiliated, I felt invalidated, you know, I felt all these things. And so I had to step away and get neutral. And we've talked about this on other episodes. I didn't make a decision in that moment. When I felt all those things. I stepped away. I realized, hey, Lexie, this is one bad apple. You've had many, many, many other clients who love this. How do you like let's let's reset our nervous system and make a business decision. The decision I felt here was that my piece was not worth me arguing at all with this nasty individual any further, I refunded her fully I didn't even want to touch it. Let her out. I handled it very professionally. She did not parted ways. Okay, so that was one example. Another example I want to paint is when I've put I've let people out but I haven't given a refund. That's another situation that has been on the table on one we've we've also addressed, especially if they're on payment plans, and there's been a deposit when you kind of pointed to this, but I've handled situations where I said look, I'm not going to refund what you've paid today. Because we have spent time together and you did lock you know, it took time away from my business, but I am going to send you with resources. And I will if you want to continue to work with us honor that but if it's your choice to leave, it's your choice to leave. So what make you pay more going forward. The point being to kind of take aways here, make yourself get neutral, allow yourself to step away, let the emotion subside and then come back and evaluate the situation and the unique situation at hand.

Emily Merrell  

Max, how can people find out how to work with us?

Lexie Smith  

Super simple, go to ReadySet coach program.com Link in show notes

Emily Merrell  

and I think that's such a great reminder because I definitely get angry in the moment and it definitely hurts and your ego is bruised and all of the emotions I probably you know, Lexi's also my business wife so I've cried to her or voice noted her while drinking wine where you get a notification about something and you're like, oh my god, I'm so angry. I'm going to respond right now and it's it is so important to not in that moment respond because your response is going to be something you regret. And when you have perspective especially when you are doing Guys do not respond while drinking just in life, like angry texting is not the answer. But I think, yeah, that getting neutral, and then getting perspective and also taking yourself out of the situation and letting life situations happen. Like we've had people who have lost jobs or had breakups or had traumatic deaths in their family, and to have to navigate the reality that like, there is more to life than our business.

Lexie Smith  

Yep, that's true, very true. On the flip side, though, we also want you to know like you it's in your right, to, to hold firm, if that feels right to you. And to, I think sometimes some people have legitimate reasons, and others are just looking for a way out. So tune into your intuition a little bit there. And just listen to your gut phone a friend, you know, if you don't have a business partner, like me, and I do, feel free to give yourself the space to evaluate that. On that note, if this happens in real time, because a lot of the situations we're talking about is happening, you know, on Slack or via email. So you have time, what do you do? happens in real time, you still have the right to make space. And here's how I would suggest you handle that if they come at us in in real time. Take a deep breath and ask for space in the sense that you know what this, I'm going to take a pause on this conversation. This is, you know, we're kind of in the heat of the moment, I want to reflect take step back, I'm going to collect my thoughts, and we'll get back to this and readdress this at a later date. But I'm going to make the call right now that we need to kind of put a pin in it, step away and come back to it. You're allowed to have space just as much as they're allowed to be human.

Emily Merrell  

Yes, I think that's an incredible thing to remember. Especially in real time because my body I feel like gives it away my teeth get read everything and start sweating. Sweating. Yeah, I get the nose sweat and like moustache sweat. It's very sexy. I love it. Switching gears a little bit lacks, how do you handle difficult clients situations like billing, so you could have like a fantastic client. But you notice that their payment didn't go through, and they're on a payment plan?

Lexie Smith  

Yes, this is also one that Emily and I have had experience with. This is one of the times where I do put my respectful business hat on. Okay, and go through first and foremost, we I know we like to give a client the benefit of the doubt and just make them aware of the situation. If it's a credit card that failed or they're past you. First, you can also utilize systems like if you're sending out invoices through QuickBooks, you can set reoccurring reminders so that you don't manually have to do that. But let's say they still aren't paying, then go and send them I do suggest handling billing more formally, taking it email, sending them an email and just kind of reminding them of the payment terms. And starting with the benefit of the doubt, like we just wanted to like let you know this card or payment didn't come through this is when it was due. And here are the payment terms. Let us know if you have any questions, right. So starting with the benefit, the benefit of the doubt, but you also have the right this is a business and also leading by example, if you're coaching on anything business related to hold them to the fact that they did sign up with you they are using their services, you do need to get payment. What about what do you think anything to add?

Emily Merrell  

I would add also just you know, to embed best practices for your business, have it on automatic payment. First and foremost. So that means charging their credit card or charging their card on file or their direct deposit on file, whatever the system is having it happen automatically versus having them opt to pay every single month just thinking about yourself like you are doing the monthly Calendly. Like would you remember to pay Calendly every month shit happens life happens. It's hard to keep keep on top of it. So make it automatic. That being said, a lot of times when we've had the the moments of breakdown, it's typically because of maybe they had a new card or they had insufficient funds or they were at their credit card max or something like that. That's something that needs to be remedied immediately. And then if someone says like, you know, Hey, I can't pay until this date. We usually are. We're empathetic, and we will empathize and be like, Okay, we'll move your payment date till this date, but it's kind of like the three strike rule. You know, okay, Hey, you. We moved it to this date, it still didn't work. Is there another option? Is there do you need it broken down into two payments this month instead? But don't let it slide because it's your business and you have the integrity and every single right to get paid especially if this person has seen results and going through your program and you have spent time and a lot of effort on them. Don't Drop this.

Lexie Smith  

Yeah, and I'll say automatic payments is really, really great for small businesses. For those of you working with bigger businesses with accounting departments that require net 30. Net 15. Just set up automatic reminders, do yourself a favor, make sure you understand and have the billing department, there are some times on the PR side where I work with larger companies where the CEO isn't even touching payment. So I make sure from day.to have all the information of who I need to go to and communicate with in the billing department to ensure payment is received. And I work with them directly. So that's also something to capture in the onboarding process, depending on the size of client you're working with.

Emily Merrell  

Yeah, I think that's that's a wonderful thing to think about. And then Lacson. Switching gears one more time, I would think one of the things that we should talk about, and we kind of we talked about this a little bit, but what do you do if someone's not happy with the deliverables like they've gone through your entire program, they soaked up every single module in the PR bar. They've gone through Ready, Set coach, they've worked one on one. And they're like, Yeah, I didn't get what I wanted out of this.

Lexie Smith  

How do you handle that? Hmm, it's first off, let's like call it what it is. It's a dagger, right, you put your you put your heart and your soul into these these containers that you're building. And, you know, you have the best intention, and you want people to see results. So I just want you to acknowledge that even M and I, we have moments where it's human. On that note, I feel like this is my sticky note across every episode, step away, or be calm yourself down, get neutral, and try to look objectively, if you did your job, that you show up the way that you were supposed to, did you deliver what you were supposed to, because the reality of coaching is you can only do so much you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force them to drink. So did this client truly take all your advice? Did they follow through on their homework? Did they follow the strategy at hand? Right? Go through that and evaluate and know that if you did your part, that's all you can do in coaching, you're not them, you're not on the front lines, you're not on the front lines executing. So that is just the reality of this business model. And you need to remind yourself of that. And remind them, you know, big be kind and I always say if someone's unhappy with seen results, reminding them, this is how we suggest you do see results. So if you you know, stay course, they should come.

Emily Merrell  

And I'll share a personal story. I had a client who was also a friend who told me that she wasn't happy with her results. Like she wanted to be further along. She wanted more clients, and happened in real life. So that feeling of getting neutral. I yeah, I felt flabbergasted. I just I truly felt like someone sat on my chest, that type of feeling. I tried my hardest to stay really neutral to stay really calm versus crying hysterically, which is what I wanted to do. And then I gave her space and I gave her time. And she came back to me. And I think she had a I think she needed space in time. And it was operating from a place of scarcity and a place of like not seeing perspective. She was just so tunnel visioned and just, you know, I need to make money, I need to make money. And she came back to me and she was like, I just want to let you know how much I accomplished with you. And it was like a whole new person had come through. And when she had taken inventory and that was something that I also tried to do in those moments is to help them navigate what they have accomplished, what they have done, versus the things that they have yet to get to. And, and this applies to everyone that's listening, we're so quick to look forward at the next thing at the Northstar that needs to be when we and we fail to take inventory of what has taken place. So for this individual, she didn't have a website, she got a website, you know, she didn't have a newsletter and now she's sending weekly newsletters that are getting incredible open rates in responses. She's been featured in blogs, she's been on podcast, she's hosting events, she's been on. She's hosting a weekly Instagram Live when before she hadn't posted a picture for like a year before we started working together sugar, Instagram following. So taking inventory of these things that you have accomplished with your client. When in reality sometimes the only thing that we think about is like what you did not accomplish. So making sure that you're able to spend time getting neutral, but being able to like redirect them the things that were accomplished in the in the container together.

Lexie Smith  

Thank you for sharing that advice. That example it brought. There's a few things I'm going to pull out of there that and to remind everyone of and when we are As human beings approached with a feeling of negativity or a challenge, or something's going wrong, we have these reactions of either fight flight or freeze, excuse me, fight, flight, or freeze. And what Emily just described is really good example of fights, we look for someone to blame when someone when something isn't going right. Think about your relationships to WHO ARE YOU quickest to get not at your quickest to get mad at those closest to you. So if I am frustrated I am so My poor husband, hi, CJ, I easy to snap on him and put all the blame in the world. But in reality, if I can take inventory of myself, He's usually not the root problem. Like really, if I'm mad about him not doing more chores, and the house seems sturdy. There's something I can do about that. Right. So to bring this back to business, I think what's really smart Emily, that you pulled out there is first recognize that they're a human and having one of those three reactions, and see if you can have them do a little bit more self reflecting and okay, why do you think you didn't get results? If they come back at you and said, because you didn't coach me well enough, alright, they're in fight mode, there's probably not much you can say. But if they can calm themselves down, then there might be an opportunity for them to really reflect and be like, well, you know, what? I posted once on Instagram. And again, this is a business use case. And you're I actually am not showing up consistently? Or if this is a weight loss coaching situation. Have they really been drinking the eight glasses of water a day, if you can give them space? And just realize it's on them to do a little bit of self reflecting at that point?

Emily Merrell  

And yes, oh my gosh, I feel like it's funny that you pull out the word consistency, said the word consistency. And I think a lot of times to the pain points that people feel about a deliverable is they'll try something once work. And then they're like, yeah, it failed. It's like, okay, cool. So you posted on Instagram once, that's awesome. Oh, you did one cold outreach. That's awesome. You did one event, neat. And you sent one newsletter. And then it's the objections that they have. I don't like bothering people in their inbox, or I don't like I don't like showing up on Instagram. And so then you look back and you're pulling back the layers. And you're like, the reason you're not succeeding is because you're not visible and, and as much as I would love to be a mind reader and be able to be like, This is what she's doing. This is what she's offering. We don't know if you don't tell us. And consistency. I have been doing my business 1000s full time since 2016. It I my my Instagram is 352 people when I followers on six degrees society, we're at 12,000 followers now. And do you think that's because I was just quiet? No, it was it was following up with people. It was showing people what we were doing. It was inviting people to follow me. It was following people's engaging with people like it was a lot of work. It was not a passive thing. And so the biggest, just like red flag kind of thing here that I am going to call out is just consistency. And pointing out to clients like, Are you being consistent

Lexie Smith  

in any field, business like

Emily Merrell  

working out,

Lexie Smith  

working out, like insert category of coaching, changing habits, anything with mindset, anything, this is also something not to get in a whole nother tangent for you to think about as a coach, how long it takes to support someone through transformation, because if you're only working with them for three months, maybe they need six months, right? So so just kind of you can again, the point here to bring to wrap this all up pretty bow is feel confident and understanding what it is your job to do and what it's not your job to do and where the line stops at coaching. Again, the most our favorite thing you can lead a horse to water but you can't force them to drink on that. No, as we wrap up here I want to end on a positive because today's been a lot of you know there are going to be red flags and down moments in your business that just further solidifies the need to celebrate the wins and when you get the good clients and the right clients and they are crushing it to not forget to celebrate those moments. It's so easy to cling on to the negatives and the down parts. Don't forget or don't let those big wins pass you by.

Emily Merrell  

Amen. And I think just to add just in terms of like listening to your body and taking inventory of your body. Think of the place of expansion. When you are in a place of expansion of a place of happiness when you have that when that feeling in your body. Maybe you get like a tingle in your chest or you you you feel light and you feel airy and you feel you feel like your shoulders are back and you just start can take on the world versus the feeling of A client that's rejected you or a client that said no or a client that says something negative, it feels very constructive. Remember, the expansive feeling and try to always operate from that place. Even if you are going through a period, a period of construction, it's just going to feel you'll be able to overcome these challenges that much more. And so yes, lacks 1,000% agree operate from those positive skies. You're going to be more imaginative, take

Lexie Smith  

a moment to celebrate them. And don't forget that my husband always says you cling on to the negatives, the positives and he's right. TJ, come join

us. No,

Lexie Smith  

I can't believe I admitted that. So guys, until next time on the ready, say

Emily Merrell  

Good. Bye, guys. If you're enjoying the ReadySet coach podcast, please leave a review wherever you are listening. For more information about ReadySet coach, visit ReadySet coach program.com