Ready Set Coach Podcast

Why Most Solopreneurs Fail at Finances—and What No One Tells You with Melissa Mittelstaedt

• Emily Merrell and Lexie Smith

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Melissa Middlestadt doesn’t just talk money—she demystifies it. In this no-BS episode, Melissa unpacks what every solopreneur really needs to know about their finances—from why separating your personal and business bank accounts isn’t just a suggestion, to how avoiding your cash flow could be the exact reason your business won’t grow.

Lexie and Melissa dig into the emotional weight behind money, sharing why your financial habits likely stem from your childhood, and how to rewrite your story with small but game-changing shifts. Melissa breaks down the differences between financial consultants, bookkeepers, and advisors, and shares her go-to “money relationship scale” to help you measure where you’re at—no shame, just clarity. Plus: her top book recs for money mindset that don’t suck.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • What’s the difference between a financial advisor, a bookkeeper, and a financial consultant?
  • How do I separate my personal and business finances as a solopreneur?
  • What are the first steps to improving my money mindset?
  • Why is cash flow such a big deal for small business owners?
  • What books actually help with financial literacy for coaches?

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Learn more about Melissa Mittelstaedt

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_melissamitt/ 

Website: https://www.melissamitt.com/ 

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Being able to put some numeric value to how it is that you're feeling that gut instinct when you say to yourself, what's my relationship with money? Is it toxic or am I, like, super comfortable? And then being able to craft your goal there. If you're sitting at a one, you don't need your goal to be like, it needs to be a 10. No. Let's start with can we get ourselves to a 3?

Emily Merell:

Welcome to the Ready Set Coach podcast. The podcast for coaches by coaches. Just like our community, we're here for.

Lexie Smith:

Real talk on what it takes to thrive in the coaching world. Plus an exclusive behind the scenes look at coaches making it happen.

Emily Merell:

Are you ready, Lex?

Lexie Smith:

I'm set. M. Let's coach. Hello. Hello. We are back and today you have Lex and with me is Melissa Middlestadt. Welcome to the show. Let's dive in right away with what do you do, Melissa? Who are you? Tell us your Social Security. Where in the world do you live? Tell us everything in 11 beat.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

I'll start with my Social Security number.

Lexie Smith:

Perfect. Pen and paper. Out. Everyone. Everyone.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

My name is Melissa Middlestadt. As you said, I am a financial consultant for solopreneurs who are diying their books and want to make more sense of money and they're just kind of sick of winging it with their finances.

Lexie Smith:

And a little bit of context. And to let me brag a bit, Melissa is inside of the Ready Set Coach community and we've had the opportunity to have her run a workshop which is now in the on demand library plug. She did a whole workshop on money mapping and I got to witness just an ounce of her brilliance. And money seemingly always tends to be a topic that brings up a lot amongst entrepreneurs. It tends to be one, I'd say, early on in people's careers, I see a lot of negative emotions attached. So how did you find your way into dedicating yourself into a career that focuses on, you know, the word that scares so many people or brings up so much emotion?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, I had a fickle little journey with money myself. That journey started. So I went to college in the error the era of you can get a free pizza in exchange for filling out a form for a credit card. So this was legal in. In my day. And so of course I was like, yeah, credit cards, use them. Student loans get as much as I can. And then I ended up going to school for seven years. I got my bachelor's degree and then I went back to school. It was to get an AA degree interpreting. And so I come out of seven years of school with a fuck ton of debt, and I get my first real job after that. And I was like, oh, great, a paycheck. And then I was like, oh, like, that's not. That's not paying.

Lexie Smith:

That's it. The government took how much?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Like, that's paying for my life. Excuse me. Like, I did all the right things. You know, I. I went to school and I got the job, and I. I just, like, followed this path that I thought would just inevitably lead me to financial freedom. I don't know. So at that moment, I recall sitting on this green, like, velvety couch inside the staff lounge I worked inside of a high school, and I'm, like, just bawling my eyes out with my colleagues, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, like, what am I doing? And luckily, one of my colleagues was kind enough to say, hey, maybe. Maybe it's that you don't understand managing money. And she was right. I didn't. I didn't. We didn't talk about it. In my household growing up, I didn't get any information, really, about money until Real World slapped me across the face. And I was like, all right, here we go. I've got to figure this. I've got to figure this out. So I buried myself in all the books I got, you know, the podcast, the, like, everything I could get my hands on. I love spreadsheets. So I just, like, geeked out about that. Got myself inside of spreadsheets. Spreadsheets. And within three years, I was able to get myself out of that debt. I was able to save $15,000 toward my wedding, and it really changed everything about money for me. So not only do I have that personal finance side, but I have run a small business for 16 years, and those small business finances, I have been doing those spreadsheet for most of the time, accounting software for, you know, a bit of time after that. But so when I think about money, I think about the whole ecosystem of our money, our business finances, and our personal finances. So that's what brought me to where I am today as a financial consultant and really helping folks think about the whole flow of money through business and life.

Lexie Smith:

Okay. Wow. There's so many. So many places I want to go first. Also, is there a green velvet chair behind you right now? Because that's.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yes, there is.

Lexie Smith:

That's just like a signal of your life and the fact green is also money, which is wealth, and you're wearing green. I'm just saying there's. There's all the signs there. I want to go back to that moment where your colleague called you out. What did that feel like? Because, I mean, were you just like immediately accepting of that? Did you feel scared? Did you feel angry? Talk to me about the motion of really having that aha. Moment of wow. Despite seven years of schooling and having a big girl job, I don't know how to manage money, which is supposed to be kind of the cornerstone of what runs the world, right?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, yeah. Luckily, I'm a pretty direct person, so I was not offended. But I was taken aback. Like it was if she had said something so true that it shook my insides and was like, that was it. Ding, ding. My whole, my whole body felt that. And I don't know, I can't remember if it was like I jumped into action immediately or if it took some time for that to wash over me, to be like, yep, now it's on me. Now it's on me to do the figuring. And, you know, I don't think I ever properly thanked her for that because what a brave move to say that to somebody. You know, it. She could have very well just let me kind of keep crying and continue on, but the fact that she said that really changed my life.

Lexie Smith:

Okay, so for someone who doesn't have the friend or really isn't as receptive as someone like you, what are the steps to be able to begin to receive that kind of information, receive that, hey, relationship or skill sets around money might not, Might be the thing that's holding me back. Where does one even start to grapple with that realization and relationship?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, I, I often ask people to kind of create some space. Money is so layered and complex and we've got our habits, such as, like, maybe our spending habits, plus our emotions, all of these things wrapped up into money when really money itself is quite a neutral object. Right. Just like cotton linen makes this physical thing. So I ask folks to try to really, if you can get some separation between all of those complexities and just take a step back and ask yourself, what is my relationship with money? And see what bubbles up. Because you're not going to be open to hearing things, you're not going to be open to recommendations, suggestions, signs, things from the universe coming at you. Unless you've said, oh, yeah, my relationship with money isn't great, so where could I even go next? Right. If, if you've just got this wall, guard up, head in the sand, avoidance mentality, not much is going to get through.

Lexie Smith:

Okay. So where does one go when. Okay, they finally have reached a moment where they're hearing that it's setting in. Okay. Hi, it's me. I'm the problem. It's me. How does one begin, Taylor, to rework that relationship that I'm going to guess took a very long time and has a lot of history behind it.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Okay, so we'll skip the obvious of hire a financial consultant. Right. So we'll wait to go down that path. But if you start, like, I've got a couple books that I absolutely am obsessed with, which in fact, I just created that list today. So I would love to share those books with you here and now. The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist. It's incredible book. It talks about why money was created. Money was created to, for equity. It, it was to create a more equitable. And then what we've done with money, obviously is not that. But she really just dives into, like, what the soul of money is. Get Rich, Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield Thomas. She's just got a lot of great playful throw spaghetti at the wall things to dig up some of those money stories. Like what did we think about money when were a child? What did we hear? What did we see? And it helps kind of shuffle through some of those things, dig things up for you. The Having by Su Yung Lee. This book, it's a little more abstract, but when I tell you that this rattled me, this book rattled me in a way I have not been rattled in a long time. Just unbelievable. And then you are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. And she's just got this quick wit humor about it. She's got a lot of exercises in there, but that's where I would start by reading books, listening to podcasts, really start taking in new ideas about money instead of staying stuck in a story that may, you may be holding onto from a young age.

Lexie Smith:

And should there be a, a goal that we're working towards? Like what in your opinion? Like, should our relationship be with money? Like, does it, is it okay for it to be forever complicated? Should it be, I don't know, like, walk me through how I even, like have a goal there, how I wrap my mind around what I'm trying to achieve.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, and I think that's such a good question. I can just kind of see your brain, your wheels spinning a little bit there. It is a very abstract concept to think about. So what I start with my clients is I put it on a scale from it's toxic to I'm so comfortable. And I ask for somewhere along that continuum. Whether you want to use a 1 to 5 scale or a 1 to 10 or whatever feels right for you, but being able to put some numeric value to how it is that you're feeling that gut instinct when you say to yourself, what's my relationship with money? Is it toxic or am I, like, super comfortable? And then being able to craft your goal there, if you're sitting at a one, you don't need your goal to be like, it needs to be a 10. No. Let's start with can we get ourselves to a three? And what would that look like? Is that opening credit card statements when you get them instead of like, oh, I'll do that later. Or is it setting money dates where you're like, I'm going to review my finances once a week for five minutes. I'm going, you know, just kind of doing some small steps to move you along that continuum. And then you can continue to create different goals based on the answers that you get throughout that journey.

Lexie Smith:

If you're listening to this show and not in the Ready Set Coach community.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

What are you doing?

Lexie Smith:

Seriously?

Emily Merell:

Our members have found clients, collaborators, accountability buddies and best friends inside our community. It's super simple to apply, hit pause and visit Ready, set coach community.com today.

Lexie Smith:

See you inside.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Cheers.

Lexie Smith:

Okay, here's another one. Especially considering most of the people listening to the show, I assume, are interested in either starting a business or have one. And a big topic that I find to be, or I have found and still find to be very connected and confusing and like, where's the line? Especially with how taxes are done. Is personal verse business finances? Does our relationship with one affect the other? Should we be taking two separate approaches? Are they transferable? Where should we start? You know, when you're talking about, you know, having a money date, is it with our personal. Is it with our. Our business bank account? I guess for someone listening, is there a suggested best path of how to grapple that and how to separate or combine church and state?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

The I, I say this when I think about how separated our finances have to be. So if you're thinking about starting a business or your early stages, and if you still have your business and personal finances mixed up, hear me now when I say, let's get those separated out, get them into separate accounts. Now, you don't have to get an official business account. You know, like go to Chase and apply for official business checking account. You don't have to. It can Be a secondary personal account that you open up for free at your credit union, but get those flowing separately. Now, those have to be separate, but the interconnectedness between how those finances impact each other will never go away because we are in business to sustain our lives. And the important piece you had said, like, well, where do I. Do I start? Do I start my business or do I start my personal? And inevitably, you've got one place or the other that feels more confusing or more complex or more icky. And that's the place that you. That you want to start to even move the needle a little bit in. In one of those. So if it is your business finances, where you're like, I don't know, I have. I have money that just, like, comes in and then I, like, give myself some and then I spend it, maybe it's starting there in your business finances and really understanding our numbers, because our numbers are what can guide us to make decisions in our business. So having access to, like, seeing our financials, maybe that's where you need to start. Or maybe you're like, well, my. My business finances, they don't seem to be a hot mess. But then every time I dump money into my personal, it's just, like, gone. And now I have no clue what's going on there. So now I'm just siphoning more money out of my business, and it feels just like this cycle of doom. Right. Well, then start in your personal finances and start to uncover some of that while. Why does it feel like it's being siphoned out? So are. Are both equally as important a hundred percent, but trying to say, oh, I'm going to tackle everything all at once. Don't do that to yourself.

Lexie Smith:

Don't do that. You know, a. I'm completely blanking you guys on what you call it? Is it a metaphor? We're gonna go with that for now. And then you can correct Melissa something similar that I love to a chest this too. And it's ringing true. It's like if you walk into a gym for the first time ever and you walk up to the weight rack, it is highly unlikely you can pick up a hundred pound weight and start benching, like a hundred times off the bat. You need to usually start smaller practice and build up to it. And I think that becomes something that. Or, you know, running. Right. Usually you don't start off by running a marathon. You have to start small. You have to start somewhere. And a lot of what I'm hearing is it's the same case with Money, just like most things in life, you have to start somewhere. Build that muscle, build that up until we peel back all the layers of the onion. Now I'm Shrek. Okay, here we go.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yes. I, I, when you were talking about this, I have this vision there' I absolutely love Pilates. Reformer. Pilates classes are just, like, my absolute jam now. I travel a lot. I'm a nomad, and so I don't get to go to Reformer Studios very often. There's one place I land. November and December. I've got access to the Pilates studio, and I go hog wild. But my body is sore because I have not been doing it pretty much the rest of the year. And then I get there, I'm like, oh, I can't even walk. Why do I do this to. Why do I do this to myself? I needed to work my way in. Instead of booking five classes a week, I should have booked one. Let my body warm up to it, and then get back into what I love. But, yes, exactly that. If we, if we try to go from zero to a hundred, we burn ourselves out, we frustrate ourselves, and then our starting point is now even further back.

Lexie Smith:

You could injure yourself and then not be able to do Pilates at all. Not speaking from experience. Very much speaking from experience. Yeah. So, okay, where does a financial consultant now enter the mix? And when? Maybe we start with when. At what point should that be? Oh, like, you know, maybe I should, like, get help on this. Especially when you're a newer business owner and there's so many things you need to invest in and learn, like, you know, a lawyer, is it a business coach? Is it a financial coach? So let's. The first question to narrow it in is when does someone like you come into play? Or when should they.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, depending. Depending on your confidence in whether it's spreadsheets that you want to start off in, whether it's a software that you want to start off in. If, if you have the confidence to be like, yeah, I can, you know, YouTube and go get something to, like, get myself through. As you're trying to figure out whether it is you hire the marketing, sales, business coach, whatever that is, then yes. And the number one reason that small businesses fail is cash flow, Period. So if we don't have an understanding of our cash flow. So money isn't just, oh, it comes into my business, I pay my expenses, and then I pay myself. Right. It's so much more than that. And if that concept, it's like, oh yeah, cash flow. If that concept isn't something that you feel comfortable with, then you can bring in a financial consultant to then help you work through what those systems are going to be inside of your business. One thing that I'd like to make clear is oftentimes people will ask me, are you a bookkeeper? And I am not. There is quite a difference between hiring somebody that is a done with you service, which is what I do, a done with you service, and getting you set up into a system, get you organized, get you to a place where you're not winging it anymore. You're feeling confident about money, you can talk about it in a way that feels good and makes sense. So then if and when you want to hire a bookkeeper for somebody to take care of your books, then you can do so seamlessly because you've got the language that you can communicate with them. You've got an idea of what kind of information you need to have your eye on and what that information is telling you. And you're able to interpret those numbers. So those are very separate things when it comes to doing it yourself. And then when you're ready to hand your books off to someone else and.

Lexie Smith:

Thank you for bringing up that comparison, I want you to talk me through one. It doesn't need to be, you know, a long definition, but I, I could imagine another question that maybe some of our listeners are have not our have do have the difference between a financial consultant like you and a financial advisor. I'm like, let's go classic. Like a Maryland lynch advisor.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Yeah, yeah. Thank you for asking that. So a financial advisor. I'm going to go with my role as a financial consultant in regard to your personal finances. I am like the Runway to get you to the financial advisor. The financial advisor is someone who can talk to you about, well, what kind of stocks do you want to invest in and what type of funds are you looking at? And let's talk about exactly how much you're going to be putting into each of those funds and really do like future mapping out of your wealth with you. That is a financial advisor. They hold like series six, series seven. They've got special certifications that allow them to work with inside the stock market. I the certification that I hold is an accreditation accredited financial counselor. And I'm the one who says, all right, let's talk about how much money you have after you pay your personal expenses and make sure that you get things in life that you value. How much money are we talking now to save to start getting you to a place for retirement. So I help you build the Runway of understanding what money is available to use. How do you keep track of that money? And then financial advisor would be the step after that.

Lexie Smith:

You just illustrated that beautifully. And I love the ramp up. And for anyone listening who everything she's saying right now feels overwhelming or new. Something that I didn't know because my family, we have a financial advisor, but when we started the process of looking for one a while back, I did not understand the thresholds that a lot of them have meaning you have to have X amount of money in your bank account to give to a financial advisor to invest. And usually you don't just wake up with that lump sum in your bank account. So I think working with someone like you to get there, to build that wealth, to get to a point where you can even talk about excess capital to invest, et cetera, is a really important and powerful resource that I don't think enough people know exists to be fair. So hopefully everyone hears the show and now they know.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

We are singing it from the rooftops here.

Lexie Smith:

Yes, we are. And so I know again, we're barely scratching the surface, guys. Melissa, where's the best place for people to go to connect with you and learn more about all the different ways they can work with you?

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

I'm most active on Instagram and threads that is underscore Melissa Mitt. And then of course, my website has a plethora of information. Melissa Mitt.com and of course inside the.

Lexie Smith:

Ready set coach community.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Plug, plug, find me on the coaches directory.

Lexie Smith:

There you go. Last thing that we task everyone with. And I'm totally putting you on the spot. I did not prep you for this. But we like to, in true coaching fashion, give everyone homework. So, you know, this could be the one thing. This is a hard. You can go as niche as you want or as broad. Like the one thing you want everyone to do today, the one thing you wish everyone would do today. But any sort of homework you want to give to the entrepreneurs and coaches.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Listening here today, I'm going to go right back to where we said, where do people start? So if you haven't asked yourself lately, what's my relationship with money? I want you to do that and I want you to write that scale out toxic to comfortable. And I want you to put down that number, where are you? Because then you're going to know what a next step could look like.

Lexie Smith:

Beautiful. And I'm gonna underscore that, you guys, if you did that exercise five years ago. It's time to do it again. I think that's a question you need to routinely visit because like most things in mindset and relationships, it's easy to default, it's easy to slide. You know, maybe you reach next level in your business and things change. So I think it's whether you're new or you're not, like, take a beat and ask that question and do a self little check in. I think that's great.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Awesome. Thank you for putting me on the spot.

Lexie Smith:

Of course. That's what I'm here for. And I'm gonna put you on the spot one more time because at the end of the show, we always awkwardly sing. Sing out. And it's just the worst part and best part of my day. We're gonna sing together. Yes. I said sing. Thank you for joining us on the Ready Set Coach podcast. So you just need to join me on the Ready Set Coach podcast. You can wrap it, you can belt it, you can. Whatever comes out. So here we go. Thank you for joining us on the Ready Set Coach. See, it's so awkward. I love it. Bye, guys.

Melissa Mittelstaedt:

Bye.