"Breaking the Chains: Overcoming Porn Addiction with Austin Zest and Florian Rolke"

Summary

In this episode, Pete and Chris are joined by Austin and Florian from Man Above Porn, a program that helps men overcome porn addiction. They discuss the signs of porn addiction, the unrealistic expectations created by porn, and the importance of emotional work in overcoming addiction. Austin and Florian share their personal experiences and the practices they teach to help men regain control of their lives. They also discuss the impact of technology on porn addiction and the need for support and guidance in the recovery process. In this conversation, Austin Zest and Florian Rolke discuss the impact of pornography on society and the importance of addressing the issue. They distinguish between pornography and masturbation, highlighting the negative effects of excessive porn consumption. The speakers emphasize the need for tailored programs that address the emotional and physical aspects of addiction. They also discuss the potential role of psychedelics in addiction treatment. The conversation concludes with an overview of their program and pricing, as well as the importance of community and support in overcoming addiction.

Takeaways

Porn addiction can have negative effects on relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
Overcoming porn addiction requires emotional work and finding healthy outlets for sexual energy.
Technology has made porn easily accessible, but it is possible to regain control and break free from addiction.
Support and guidance from others who have overcome addiction can be instrumental in the recovery process. Excessive consumption of pornography has a negative impact on individuals and society as a whole.
It is important to distinguish between pornography and masturbation, as the former can lead to harmful behaviors and attitudes.
Tailored programs that address the emotional and physical aspects of addiction are crucial for successful recovery.
Psychedelics may have a potential role in addiction treatment, but caution and professional guidance are necessary.
Investing in oneself and seeking support from a community can greatly aid in overcoming addiction.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Bedazzling
01:56 Introducing Austin and Florian
03:41 The Problem with Porn Addiction
06:21 The Importance of Not Being Anti-Porn
10:04 The Shame and Hurdles of Addiction
11:32 Signs of Porn Addiction
13:38 Unrealistic Expectations and Relationship Issues
15:13 The Connection Between Sexual Energy and Addiction
17:44 Managing Addiction in an Accessible World
20:58 Building Fortitude and Daily Disciplines
25:24 The Importance of Emotional Work
29:17 How Austin and Florian Started Working Together
33:05 Combining Physical and Emotional Practices
35:29 The Future of Porn Addiction and Technology
36:22 The Impact of Pornography on Society
41:21 Distinguishing Between Pornography and Masturbation
44:53 Tailoring the Program to the Individual
46:50 Emotional and Physical Aspects of the Program
49:04 Psychedelics and their Potential Role in Addiction Treatment
53:05 Overview of the Program and Pricing
57:47 The Importance of Community and Support

They even offered an exclusive deal for Dads Unfiltered listeners .
www.getoutofbed.net
Head to the site above and use the code: “dadsunfiltered” to get a discount on their

Tick Tok @dadsunfiltered
Facebook Dads Unfiltered
Email 2dadsunfiltered@gmail.com
YouTube https://youtube.com/@DadsUnfiltered

Chris's emotion coaching 
Tick Tok @dadding_daily
Instagram @chrisoneilcoach
YouTube  @crisoneil

Transcript

Pete (00:00.906)
Hey guys, welcome back. Season two, episode 26. I can't believe we've made it this far without me trying to kill Chris. Who's right there? Hey, Chris, how you doing? Before we get into the whole episode, I just want to say a thanks to debt-free dad Brad. Notice how that kind of rolls right off the tongue. Three-time guest, and he requested a gold jacket. So what I did was I went out and I bought a secondhand bedazzler.

Chris O'Neil (00:10.574)
Hi Pete! What the fuck man?

Chris O'Neil (00:20.766)
Indeed. Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

Pete (00:31.23)
and I'm gonna go to like a fuckin thrift shop and I'm gonna I'm gonna bedazzle at number three on the back of a denim jacket. I figure he'll be proud because I saved some money doing it. So.

Chris O'Neil (00:40.362)
I think that's fantastic. I can't wait to see him wear it.

Pete (00:45.554)
Yeah, well, maybe. We'll see. So this week, we have a couple of guys with us, Austin and Florian. They're new to the Dads Unfiltered podcast.

Chris O'Neil (00:54.047)
Welcome, fellas.

Chris O'Neil (00:58.271)
Indeed, and uh...

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (00:58.56)
Good to meet you guys, good to meet everybody who's listening. Good to be here.

Chris O'Neil (01:02.578)
And we have, we got, we got something important to talk about with these fellas, and they're going to explain why they're here and what they want to talk about, and then we'll get into the conversation. So please introduce what you're doing and why you're here. Did I? Can you hear me? Okay, well. What did you hear me say?

Pete (01:18.69)
Chrissy froze.

Pete (01:22.802)
Yeah, I can now.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:23.981)
Christmas.

Pete (01:31.066)
Nothing. How about you guys? Did you hear Chris say anything?

Chris O'Neil (01:32.264)
Oh, son of a-

All right, well, see, this is what we have here at Dads Unfiltered. We do not edit. It's just we roll with the punches. So I said. We have Florian and Austin here who are going to explain who they are and what they do and why they're here on the podcast today.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:56.32)
Well, hello everybody. My name is Austin Zest. And my name is Florian Röke. We are from Man Above Porn, which this is a program where we help men to get out of porn addiction. That's kind of what you could call us, like coaches. I've also worked carpentry for many years. I grew up in San Diego, California, building houses, doing layout framing, roofs, everything you can think of in that field. And after that, after many years,

struggling with addiction, especially porn and that stuff, I felt pretty kind of depressed living down there. And so I decided to leave and I went traveling to South America, to Mexico by myself, just to really explore and figure out a lot of things that I was searching for. And along that journey, I figured out a lot of ways to combat addiction and not just any addictions, porn and a lot of things, but I realized

so many things at play, you know, when you feel like you don't have any purpose in life and you're kind of stagnant, the addictions come in. The addictions are right there, you know, and but those addictions can ruin you, you know, and they ruin divorces, relationships, and I noticed like with porn specifically when I would stop it and completely stop it, my life just got better, my energy got better, I was not depressed, I could look people in the eye and I could, you know, just, so I realized like for years I started talking about it, people thought I was weird,

Chris O'Neil (03:05.915)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (03:26.554)
You know like what are you talking about? It's like I like a secret and nobody wanted to talk about well in the last few years It's been now it's kind of more out in the open So I'm so happy to be here talking to you guys, and I really appreciate you Christian Pete for inviting us on really do

Chris O'Neil (03:41.694)
Absolutely. Florent, what's your story there?

Pete (03:42.579)
What about you Florian?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (03:44.656)
Yeah, hello! I actually thought we were going to be introduced as the porn guys. Certainly we are not involved in porn in that way. We are also not the anti-porn guys. We are also not the anti-porn guys. Like we are not choosing against porn as the root cause of all evil. Obviously there are downsides to it. No, but what we really do is we help people get out of pornography. Those people who want to get out because a lot of people find themselves stuck in that

Chris O'Neil (03:53.505)
Hahaha!

Pete (04:14.198)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (04:14.35)
Mm-hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (04:14.592)
And that's basically what we do. Your energy increases, generally, your happiness increases, and as we all know, the contents of our mind basically shapes how we see the world and what we attract into our lives. And so for that reason, quitting that may be an option that a lot of people consider.

Pete (04:32.714)
You know, it's funny you said that we weren't in porn, but it's not like any guy would know because no guy is ever looking at the dude's faces. So it would be a mystery.

Chris O'Neil (04:42.631)
Yeah, they're most often not even on camera, right? Well and to the point about addiction too, I mean there's obviously, addiction is addiction. It could be porn, it could be alcohol, it could be drugs, it could be sex. It doesn't matter what it is, it's the aspect of...

Pete (04:47.251)
Right?

Chris O'Neil (05:05.558)
who you are and what you're doing that's creating a negative experience in your life. So I know we had this conversation before, you know, when we met the idea that you're not anti-porn and you just said it. It's the idea that if you're struggling and if you need help, you're here to help. And I think that's great because there are so many people that come out against certain things and then it's anti, and you're immediately turning somebody off.

to the fact, well, I don't feel comfortable talking to you because you're gonna demonize me for even doing, you know, doing this thing in the first place. And I think one of the biggest issues that men have especially, but people in general, is just when they feel this way about an addiction, there's so much shame involved. And I know that can be a huge hurdle with just.

opening up and talking about it and acknowledging that you might have a problem. So the fact that you guys are right out of the gate expressing the fact that this is not an anti-anything, we're not demonizing anybody, we're just here to help. And I think that's fantastic.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (06:21.748)
Yeah, first of all, letting go of the shame, that's one aspect to it. But we also see that oftentimes lack of knowledge and lack of what actually to do to get out of it is a big factor. You know, now after 20 years, 30 years of fitness, we can say somebody who wants to lose weight basically wouldn't know what to do, right? Like calorie counting, certain foods, we kind of have an understanding of what to do.

Chris O'Neil (06:44.142)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (06:51.722)
up to the public attention. Most people, yeah, I guess I try to not look, you know, like what's the plan, you know, and that's why we're here to first of all raise awareness, bring the conversation up and then also tell people, you know, what can be done.

Chris O'Neil (06:58.984)
Yeah, yeah.

Chris O'Neil (07:08.076)
Yeah.

Pete (07:08.402)
Yeah, that makes sense. Now, what are some of the signs that you would say that someone had an addiction to porn?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (07:17.208)
I'll go on this one. I can just only talk about my own life. And then when you go through something, you notice it in other people. So I noticed when I was younger that I would be very depressed and I would not be... Kind of like my light was just out. It's just like I would go in public and I felt very low.

kind of weak and wouldn't be able to look in the eye as much. Definitely couldn't approach women, you know, it was just like very, because you know the porn just desensitizes you. That's what I think a lot of, you know, people we talk to struggle with, that desensitization. And that is just, man, that's the worst thing I think a man can go through, is when you can't actually experience life and you don't feel like a man and you're just, it's just like, man, that's low. And then you're being almost like, uh, in prison by this external

Chris O'Neil (07:49.615)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (08:08.442)
thing that gives you nothing in return just takes it takes your energy it takes your motivation it takes your confidence like dude well just for a brief you know moments of what is perceived a pleasure followed by very bad crashes so people get addicted to that too so that's what I would say you know I mean the signs the signs are there you know obviously tissues hanging around too many tissues here

Chris O'Neil (08:25.287)
Hmm.

Pete (08:33.29)
hairy palms, that sort of thing.

Chris O'Neil (08:36.23)
going blind, you know, all the old stuff.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (08:37.242)
Right? Lotions and people I'm not showing up to the Christmas party today I'm too busy hanging out at home

Chris O'Neil (08:41.058)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pete (08:47.978)
So, like Jason Siegel in I Love You Man, if you have a jerk-off station in your garage, you might have a problem.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (08:56.33)
Yeah, yeah, that's crazy, Pete. You mentioned that. Exactly. I remember seeing that. And I was like,

Chris O'Neil (08:57.459)
A dedicated area.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (09:05.04)
Is this good? Is this a good thing that society is glorifying? I know it's a funny movie, I love that and everything, but like, that's all, on a serious note, like that's also kind of where the society sort of was, like, you know, that kind of was shown, like, this is kind of cool, it's almost a manly thing, and I would hear my bosses say that too, like, nobody's touching my porn, you know, like, what? You know, like, how did this now become something that is so just almost masculine in a way? That's, that's some tricky stuff right there.

Chris O'Neil (09:10.029)
Mm.

Chris O'Neil (09:25.986)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (09:34.45)
Yeah, it's a really, really good point. And it's I think this is something that we've talked about a lot on this podcast is that kind of like generic box that we're all jammed into as men that, oh, well, you need to do these things and then you're masculine. And if you don't do these things, you're not a real man. And that's a conversation we really like having, because, first of all, if half the population of men would not be real men.

Anyway, because there's so many different things that define a man other than those things. And just being, and this is part of the problem with addictions, like porn specifically, or even like sex. Because in order to bring it up you have to admit that you're not in control, that you have a problem, or that you don't want to look at porn. And God forbid any of the other guys here...

you know, something like that, and they're going to come down on you and start making fun of you, and then it's even harder to change your behavior. So I did want to ask, because Pete had asked about, you know, what are the signs? But say, you know, because I've heard people say this too, like, it's just porn. What's the big deal? So

I know just like any addiction, there are plenty of people that can have four or five drinks in a night and be fine and not an alcoholic. So what distinguishes somebody from having that problem and not being able to stop? Like, is it, are they becoming, because Austin, you started to mention it, you just feel a certain way. So how does it affect your relationships? You become antisocial, you know, you can't look people in the eye, that type of thing. Are there more?

Pete (11:16.698)
Thanks for watching!

Chris O'Neil (11:24.374)
personal, like social issues that come up because of it.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (11:32.076)
I have learned on this? Yeah certainly I mean it depends on the person as you said some people can have two or three drinks and not feel anything or don't feel so affected by it and they have it under control. Pornography is different in that sense that it really affects your mind in a very certain way. You over time you know as you drink

your liver may get affected, your brain not so much by two or three drinks. You know, you get a little bit calm. What pornography does, it really alters the way that you view other people, that you view women and also that you view your own masculinity of how you should be and how you should behave. And if you watch pornography daily, also usually before you go to bed, this gets imprinted onto your brain and yeah, it really does affect you and it keeps affecting you like day by day you learn.

Chris O'Neil (12:11.51)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (12:25.568)
in a heightened emotional state about what relationships between men and women in a sexual way are meant to look like. And we hear a lot from people that they don't really feel attracted to their partners anymore because they just can't live up to that. But on the other hand, the porn actress spends all of her time and all of her money on her

Chris O'Neil (12:33.742)
Mmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (12:47.396)
into enhancing herself physically, whereas the spouse has so many other beautiful qualities and so many other responsibilities. So if you only focus on this one thing, obviously you're going to exceed and in comparison, you know, be perceived as more sexual or more attractive than the spouse. So

Chris O'Neil (12:56.543)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (13:08.716)
One has to be really careful about that, because it does affect the brain in a certain way. Imagine that, like my grandfather for example, back then there were a few magazines potentially, but you feel attracted to your woman and this is all you know, right? Right now boys from the age of 7, 8, 9, whatever see that and get conditioned to these images and that is where the problem lies.

Chris O'Neil (13:25.334)
Hmm.

Pete (13:38.91)
Yeah, I get that whole unrealistic expectation thing. It's funny, because I was going to make a joke about that, saying that from watching porn, I got all these ideas of picking up women by getting a delivery job. I learned how to install some cable. I thought about buying some rental property, but then I thought that was maybe a little unethical. But it's totally, you're right. It does alter that whole, I can't watch a girl put her hair in a ponytail without getting fucking little flustered. Oh my god. But um.

Chris O'Neil (13:43.191)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (13:52.312)
Hahaha

Chris O'Neil (14:07.551)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pete (14:08.526)
I get how it warps that. I could see that it changes the mindset because you have these expectations of what they're doing, you know, and then in real life it doesn't meet up to it. But you know when you break it down, just like a movie, like you go behind the scenes, not everything is cut and dry. It's like, it's not all the same neighborhood. Like that 15 minutes of fucking is actually like three days worth of filming to get that length of a scene, you know?

Chris O'Neil (14:35.209)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pete (14:39.638)
But I get it, I totally understand what you're saying with that. I can see how it would warp that.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (14:45.66)
And there's a whole other aspect to that as well, is that when a man uses his energy or is not able to express himself sexually, usually back in the day the energy would have been stored and would have manifested into motivation to go out, meet people, make oneself better. And this is also part of the issue that if you find an outlet that easy and that accessible,

Once you give in and you keep giving in, the energy gets funneled into this wrong outlet and it doesn't do what it's supposed to do. It's kind of a very physiological response as a man. When you don't have that sexual outlet and you are sexually frustrated, you know, what do men do who are single? They go hit the gym, they try much harder than people. When you get in a relationship then you're like...

Chris O'Neil (15:27.798)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (15:33.416)
then you ease off a little bit. And when you ease off in the way that you use pornography, especially when you're a father, especially when you're in a committed relationship, although there's all that variety and although it may not seem like such a big deal, it actually is. Also from the perspective of the woman, what we often hear is that women ask themselves, why am I not good enough? Why is my man doing that? But here I also want to, you know, tell...

the people who are listening that if you do have that problem

Probably that habit started long before you met your partner So it has nothing to do with your partner per se and the partner also needs to understand that it is not necessarily Because she's not attractive enough, but it's because variety Chasing you know the feel of like you go on a hunt you know some people spend three four hours looking for the that's something very Intrinsic in us men right we want to hunt we want to see we want to find out discovery adventure right this is what it does

Chris O'Neil (16:08.403)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Chris O'Neil (16:28.005)
Mm.

Pete (16:29.728)
Yep.

Chris O'Neil (16:31.841)
Yeah, yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (16:34.762)
needs that it's meeting and that is very tricky. A lot of men are not able to say okay only here and not further, right?

Pete (16:42.674)
Right. Now, and you said, just like you said, it's easily accessible. It's fucking everywhere. Now, how do you manage that? Like, where you have that addiction, what steps do you take in place? I mean, Austin, you said that you were going through that. Like, with it being so accessible, like literally everywhere, how did you manage to avoid it?

Chris O'Neil (16:43.177)
Mm-hmm.

Chris O'Neil (17:07.774)
And just before you answer, I just, the add-on I was gonna say back in the day, because I remember, like, old cousins of mine would have a couple magazines under the mattress, or, you know, they would find something in the closet. It was one or two things. And then ever since the internet, as you said, Pete, it is everywhere. And it's easily accessible through your phone, through your computer, everything. You don't have to have a VHS player somewhere and, you know, snag a tape.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (17:08.496)
You have to...

Chris O'Neil (17:36.286)
or anything like that. So with all of that access, I just wanted to add that part. So yeah, please answer.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (17:44.668)
I mean, this is the thing, like when you're an alcoholic, you go into the grocery store and the alcohol is everywhere too, it's easy accessible and there's those who get their lives good enough to where it just doesn't affect them anymore. So when people get their normal lives and they start doing practices in place of the porn that makes them feel good, it's kind of like building a castle, a fortitude, you know, sounds maybe very corny but you know, I've been using that one lately.

Chris O'Neil (17:55.159)
Good point.

Pete (18:13.682)
Nah dude, we're fans of Superman, so Fortress of Solitude is right up our fuckin' alley.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (18:19.188)
Oh, yeah, okay. So it's like, you know, you have that fortitude, right? The porn sneaks up. It's your enemy. It's, what's it, Lex Luthor's coming by.

Pete (18:29.207)
There you go.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (18:30.692)
man and he's not going to screw with you anymore because you've got you built these barriers up so even though the enemies are all around it you have built yourself up enough to where you feel good you're like man if I'm going to partake in that part it's going to really make me feel really bad and you have enough resources and you've learned enough practices to get yourself to that point and also to you know I like to bring this up you know we teach like some practices that bring people back in here and this is nothing

Chris O'Neil (18:52.631)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (19:00.546)
and lame or gay or you know, like this is like, men being in their heart is like, I don't know why that just disappeared. You know, we're living down there, you know, it's just all down there. You don't wanna live that way your whole entire life. You wanna start to bring that energy up into here and then it becomes more natural and then you're starting to think with this and then you're like, maybe if I do make that decision, you know, it's gonna really, then you start thinking about your family and you start thinking about these, you know, your wife and you're like, that's just not.

This becomes bigger than down there, than that urge down there. And that just comes through practices, some of the practices we teach, very simple stuff, a lot of it. It's just slowing things down and doing the right physical, we believe in physical practices as well as doing some emotional work too. I don't know about you guys, it's something I've been working on. I snap sometimes at my wife and I...

But I slowed down and I realized that stuff. It's something, us men, we gotta slow it down. Real in the fishing line.

Okay, what's going on, you know? So it's just a lot of stuff like that to answer your question. It's kind of hard to answer, but it's many different things to get you to where porn just quits you, and you're walking above it. And it's not even like, it can be right there, but you have the strength and the fortitude to just say no. I mean, this is something that we all have as well. There's no like magic, crazy thing. People download...

Pete (20:27.201)
Right.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (20:31.76)
all these things on there, they download apps and stuff. I'm sorry, but I don't think that stuff really works because it's like, dude, then just, if you're a real addict, you're gonna find a way, you're gonna find the code to open it, you're gonna buy a new smartphone for 100 bucks at Best Buy and sit in the parking lot. So like, that's not the answer. The answer is within you. You finding what works for you to outgrow this situation and it's very possible to do.

Pete (20:40.767)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (20:49.182)
I'm going to go.

Chris O'Neil (20:57.922)
Hmm.

Pete (20:58.186)
Now, how long have you been porn free, if that's the way you call it?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (21:01.428)
Me, about three years. Yeah, I met my wife about a year after that, I don't know, six months a year after that, and I've never ever, with her, I've never even, never. And I'm so glad to be able to say that. So, and I'm, yeah, I don't talk about her too much, but like, you know, I just, I keep it, that is something that I'm not going to...

to mess with, you know, because I know that it will just ruin things. It'll ruin the precious things I got for a short-term gain, you know. And we live in a jungle town. There's beautiful women all over the place walking around, you know. It's like, it's not like you outgrow this and you're never tempted. You're Mr., you know, Mr. Guru.

Chris O'Neil (21:25.072)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (21:41.824)
this and you never get tempted. Well, yeah, man, I'm a man too. It's like, dude, I'm not that bad. But I do these daily disciplines every day. That just makes my life better. Because I think far enough to where now,

Chris O'Neil (21:43.016)
Oh, sure.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (21:58.632)
This is gonna make me feel really bad. If I take this action, I'm gonna be feeling really shameful, really guilt and dude, that's just not worth it, man. Life is too short for that. Let's instead take that energy and put it into something better, a business. Let's make life. And for me, it's a deeper level too. It's like, you're screwing, you're jerking off into a napkin, it's like, dude, that's creating death. Where is that going? Nothing.

On a deeper weird note, the pharaohs back in ancient Egypt, they used to jerk off into the Nile River to bless it. Well, if you're doing that, hey cool man, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna batty. You're hitting that high up level, but... They did so much over so many generations in the dark.

Chris O'Neil (22:32.05)
Yeah!

Pete (22:36.893)
So that's why it's salty.

Chris O'Neil (22:38.914)
HAHAHAHA

Chris O'Neil (22:42.646)
Yeah, well, don't drink the water, kids. Yeah, there you go.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (22:47.702)
Salt in the oceans, that's what they're doing. All right. It's almost like minerals washing out of the... That's like all right, conspiracy. All right.

Pete (22:53.087)
Yeah, right.

Chris O'Neil (22:54.042)
Who knew? I guess we solved that one, right? Yeah, no. No, um, well, and going back to going back to something you said, Austin, about the emotional work, because as you all know, I am an emotion coach, and that is a big aspect of everything. And so many men uh, kind of hit that wall when

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (23:00.564)
You're a jitjit for thousand years!

Chris O'Neil (23:21.982)
when they need to talk about something deeper, and that's where that shame comes from. So, obviously you're specifically dealing with this particular addiction, but we talk about this constantly, about being able to engage with your emotions to let them out, cry if you need to cry, but you're not a blubbering idiot. There's a big difference between acknowledging your emotions, not letting them run you.

and then being a blubbering crybaby. That's not, those two things are not even close to the same thing. And I don't think it's possible, in fact, this isn't even an opinion, it is not possible to change yourself or to move on from any addiction without digging into your emotions and connecting to who you actually are and admitting to yourself.

these things, feeling the actual emotions, learning how to do that, and then as you guys are saying, channel that energy elsewhere to your benefit. Because again, the addiction is not the thing itself. It's what you're channeling energy towards, right? So if porn was in and of itself a horrible bad thing, then it would be horribly bad for everybody. It's just like any other substance, right? So...

to be able to actually look at your situation and acknowledge what's gonna be best for you. And then have the help, because that was the biggest thing for me with regard to any of the emotional work when I first started digging into it, was I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I needed help to figure it out. And as you were saying with the apps and everything, yeah, it's great if you wanna download an app and maybe it'll help you out, but it's really that person to person.

engagement with someone who's gone through it and understands and can actually... Yeah, Pete.

Pete (25:24.506)
It's kind of funny too that downloading your own app and then, oh, I'll set the password, then I'll never check that. Like, yeah, OK, I'll forget it.

Chris O'Neil (25:33.06)
Yeah

Chris O'Neil (25:37.334)
Yeah, well, you're your own worst enemy when it comes to any sort of bad habit or addiction. So, of course, the solution, in my experience, is always someone else who's been there and can lend a hand and lead you through it, you know? Yeah, to relate, that's huge.

Pete (25:37.354)
But yeah, it's definitely, I'm sure it's gotta be rough.

Pete (25:56.99)
relate.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (26:00.562)
Right.

Because it's always a good idea to do something, like put an app, when you relapse and you feel bad, and there's consequences, right? But then when it's back and you want to do it again, you'll find a way, usually. That's the thing. You need to prevent yourself from even getting there. And that just becomes not even a part of you to do something like that, to find the password. That's why I'm not a huge believer in those apps.

Short-term fixes that don't really get to the core of it, like what Chris was saying, the emotional thing. And that emotional stuff, it's like, that's very, very deep work.

Chris O'Neil (26:36.408)
Mmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (26:47.784)
that we need to do now in this time, you know, especially, we see, not to bring up like, you know, too much political stuff, but you know, I can give a broad, you guys know I'm sure, exactly what's going on in the United States, and just, you see people are so out of whack emotionally, and I wonder, you know, and I wonder.

A lot of the conspiratorial stuff, a lot of what's going on with sexuality and all that stuff is, I think a lot of it is from porn and a lack of emotional control. So it's very interesting. I think a lot of that is intertwined and it's something deep going on and I think we're doing good work here, all of you guys.

Pete (27:26.658)
Try it.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (27:26.964)
Definitely, on that note Chris is doing amazingly important work by helping people to express their emotions and get in touch with them because emotional control, at least in my opinion, it's not quite so straightforward and not quite so easy to attain. It's not controlled by force necessarily. First of all you've got to know what you're feeling.

Chris O'Neil (27:49.314)
Hmm?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (27:49.52)
And then you've got to be able to allow it in a certain way, but also not so that you push it away. There's a whole fine way of working with the emotions. And we see that a lot, that these emotions connect with the sex drive and then find an outlet in pornography. Oftentimes, you know, people talk to us...

And I hear that they believe my sex drive is messed up, there's something wrong with me, I'm a pervert, etc. But it's usually emotions behind that. What can it be? It can be loneliness, it can be feeling bored, it can be feeling anxious, restless, you know, I won't be able to go to sleep. Then what happens? That's also fueled by emotions in a certain way. And then people use pornography because of it. So, yeah, the insidiousness of that is that all of us men have this sex drive. And...

Thankfully so, because you know our grandparents were motivated enough even in World War two or whatever was happening back then to procreate That's why we're here. It's pretty cool But we have to also distinguish that from the emotions what's really going on You know I can promise you everybody listening who may be struggling with it. There's nothing wrong with you There's nothing wrong with your sex drive It's just that those emotions they connect to the sexual energy and find an unhealthy outlet in an unhealthy way, but

Chris O'Neil (28:54.026)
Yep.

Pete (29:10.582)
So now, how long have you guys been helping other men with this issue?

Chris O'Neil (29:10.817)
Yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (29:17.952)
Pretty new about this last year. So we're pretty new on new kids on the block as far as help, but we're doing it in kind of a very different way. So we're taking physical practices with the emotional work that we've teamed up. So a lot of coaches, they work by themselves and they have a very specific set or they put people like on a discord. You know, we have teamed up and really, really we're using technology. We're using everything to really

actually out of this. So I'm kind of you know I've done a lot of physical practices earlier in the year we had a practice where it was just squats, breath work and we filmed it up in the mountains and it was just aimed at helping guys to get their get their energy going in a different direction and then we realized like wait we need you know is there an emotional aspect to this that it can't be just physical workout we're kind of then you're just running away from the issue too right. So we've really figured out a

Chris O'Neil (30:05.262)
Mm-hmm.

Pete (30:11.999)
Right.

Chris O'Neil (30:15.511)
Yeah, yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (30:18.286)
buying them both, because both are necessary. Men were physical beings. We, you know, look, if you're sitting at home all day, and you're not, it's gonna be kind of hard too. You gotta make some physical changes as well, because you're physical change. But it's not all that. There's an emotional part that has to be at play. So yeah, I mean, that's just the honest truth. We're pretty new at it, but we do believe we got a very good program set up for people.

Chris O'Neil (30:45.162)
So how did you two end up working together?

Pete (30:46.099)
Now, how do you, uh...

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (30:51.856)
Well, I was traveling in boats. I ended up in Ecuador, in South America.

didn't know much Spanish. That's all part of the story too. You quit habits and then you face life. You face your fears. I really like, I grew up in San Diego and I felt like I was afraid of a lot of stuff. I'd done a lot of crazy stuff and I had, you know, whatever, but like I had some fear in me still that I was just, I wanted to kill that inner bitch. You know, so I...

Chris O'Neil (31:07.583)
Yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (31:24.352)
of plane ticket quit my job at construction my boss hated me but whatever you know he's a great guy but I had to go and just go and face that and so I flew to Ecuador about a week later crazy protests broke out they were trying to kick out the president I'd never been in anything like that was just like this is what I wanted you know it's like I was pretty excited and then I traveled that I left there went down boats down to Peru

through the Amazon area, boats, and just wandering, you know, going through indigenous villages. Then I ended up in Cusco, Peru, which is kind of the capital of the Incan Empire. There's a lot of kind of, a lot of stuff, a lot of shamanism, a lot of, a lot of stuff like that. Incredible, you know, Machu Picchu, and just all these incredible...

And I didn't know this at the time. There was a big spiritual community, people doing yoga, and different type of shit like that, and ceremonial, ayahuasca, this type of stuff, different alternative things. And so I ended up meeting Florian at one of these hostels. And I think it was one of the first conversations I told him, man. Not a really weird, not really small talk. I just wasn't that type of guy. And I was like, you know, Florian, I don't know how we got into the conversation. It's like.

Chris O'Neil (32:37.271)
Just blasted him with it, right?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (32:41.792)
It was like, you know, we gotta, we gotta, if men, you know, the whole issue, not to get into political, but like if men were more in control of themselves, there would be a lot less like political issues. Women wouldn't, you know, we wouldn't put all that weight on women, you know. And it was like, if men learned how to control themselves, it would be their own birth control. So I said, that's how kind of our friendship started and kind of went from there.

We were both very driven guys and then I started building getoutofbed.net and we just went from there and then we teamed up with it. And yeah, so unless you want to add anything, but there's a lot more to the story, but it's something like that. Interesting story. Yeah, yeah, there's certainly a lot more to the story, but we met up. And exactly what you said, that was the first thing that I noticed in him is like, man, he talks without filter just right away. Like the first time I met him was like an hour.

Chris O'Neil (33:31.886)
Thanks for watching!

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (33:35.152)
just him talking. But I loved it because this is the type of person that I like to be around you know. I like to be with people who are motivated and driven and kind of inspiring in a way. I'm like oh man this is... I kind of vibe with this guy. And we got talking and we figured out that we are actually pretty aligned. Not only do we always get told like we look like brothers kind of from our facial features or whatever. But yeah and this is how it started. He talked to me about

Chris O'Neil (33:39.999)
Yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (34:04.444)
retaining your seat and not letting it out. No, at that time I was already into personal development for some five or six years and I quit down, cut down the masturbation considerably because of it, but I still did it at times and I wasn't quite aware of it. And I was always asking myself, man, why is he always walking so fast? How does he have that much energy? Until I realized that's where it was. And so we started.

Chris O'Neil (34:27.831)
Hmm

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (34:29.468)
I told him, okay, I'm gonna go ahead with that semen retention practice as well, I'm gonna try that myself. And this is basically how we started until we realized, okay, what prevents most men from actually getting there, that their energy is building up? Well, they're letting it out. And through what channel? And this is how we got into pornography recovery coaching because we realized this is main issue. We don't need to tell people that you're gonna feel great when you don't masturbate for 20-30 days. Not that is the goal with the coaching, you know,

Chris O'Neil (34:47.737)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (34:59.622)
orgasms with their spouses, that's not what we are coaching around right now. But we discovered through this practice and through the way it developed and what people told us that this is actually the biggest need. The pornography has such a grip, as you said Pete, on your telephone, you know, it's everywhere, that this is what people really need. And just on the last note here, if we take a look at the future, I mean, as Austin said, we are incorporating a lot of new technology into our business in order to help people.

Chris O'Neil (35:16.886)
Mmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (35:29.32)
Man, what we're seeing there with VR technology, you're gonna put on glasses and you're gonna have a whole reality that you can basically, through your inputs, design machines that feel much better than any woman could feel. My goodness, brother!

Pete (35:39.559)
It's...

It's funny that you say that. There's a show on, well, it used to be on an America called The Beach House, and one of the episodes was a husband that got so into virtual reality, and his wife walks in on him having virtual sex with another woman. And it's just funny that you brought that up because it just totally made me think of that show.

Chris O'Neil (35:51.31)
I don't know this one.

Chris O'Neil (36:03.173)
Oh, jeez.

Pete (36:07.694)
And I thought of how outlandish it was then, and then you bringing it up now, it's becoming closer and closer to a reality. Like in Japan and China where they have like the sex robots there or whatever the hell it is. You know?

Chris O'Neil (36:20.673)
Oh yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (36:22.428)
Yeah, that's another movie with Bruce Willis surrogates too. I bring that one up a lot too. So there's like that movie. Remember that one? Remember that? And like that was trippy, man. They were.

Chris O'Neil (36:26.65)
Oh yeah, I remember that one.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (36:33.468)
Goodness sake, like that's kinda going in that direction. You know, just hearing that stuff, the more that I tap it, it's just my heart aches for the world sometimes. This is why we're really trying to do it. Like let's be part of some kind of solution. There's so much going on in the world, but if men start to become men again and just start to just say no, no. The whole world's being drug into a reality that, look, I don't.

want. I don't think you guys, I don't think your listeners are too happy about it. Well, it starts with us. It starts with us at least getting back on our two feet, cutting out some of these addictions that have been set up for us for failure in life and to make us more docile and more agreeable.

with a lot of stuff. That's at least what I believe, but it's good. It's a good time to quit. Because things are not getting any. It's just a good time to quit, man. Because life doesn't have to be so terrible either. Like, yeah, you're going to have arguments with your wife.

this stuff, absolutely, but you cut out some of these bad habits, you're going to be way more prepared for that. And that fearlessness starts to get back in, that manhood that you had, that is always within, I believe is within every man. Every man has some incredible strength to tap into, to lead, you know. And that's what makes me excited about all this too. It's like, man, it's more than just, you know, you quit porn, like yeah, you know, this is good. But there's, man, I'm just, there's a lot of...

lot more to it as well.

Chris O'Neil (38:12.942)
Well, it's obvious that you guys are really passionate about this. And I did want to touch on something from a minute ago, just distinguishing the difference between porn specifically and simply masturbation. Because I just want it for anyone listening. And first of all, the maintaining, I forget what you call it, but basically just not masturbating for 30 days or whatever it happens to be.

Because I know many men who, I don't know many, but I certainly know of men who are in that practice. I also know anatomically and biologically, it's amazingly good for you to clean your system out, to keep the pipes working right and all that. So finding that happy medium between just doing something natural and good for yourself and...

I think this was a big thing when I, I don't know, maybe six or seven years ago it really sunk in and I was looking into this when I was getting involved with men's groups and getting in touch with my ability to understand my own emotions and all of that. So much about porn is external, right? It's about dominating or satisfying.

the woman or whoever the partner is that you're with. Whereas the issue with porn, it keeps you outside of yourself instead of having an experience with and for yourself that you are in collaboration with somebody else. And so the ability to, if you choose to, if you have a desire to not,

Pete (40:00.055)
And so the ability...

Chris O'Neil (40:04.706)
partake and I don't mean porn I just mean you know satisfying yourself or getting into any sort of sexuality in and of your own accord. Specifying the fact that the problem comes the fuck knuckle-shuffled nice very nice yes the problem comes with seeking

Pete (40:15.498)
The five knuckle shuffle, Chris.

Chris O'Neil (40:29.554)
what, the seeking the enjoyment externally and artificially as opposed to connecting with yourself and another human being in whatever sexuality you're involving yourself in. So the choice to not partake can be very beneficial to some people, but other people kind of need to...

do that more often maybe as a stress reliever or something like that but you're specifically talking about funneling that into pornography in a negative way that lowers your energy that detracts from your life impedes relationships and all of that. Yes?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (41:21.318)
That's right, the porn kind of becomes like a vampire. It becomes like this vampiric relationship. You are literally, you're feeding this system and it's using you as a battery like from the Matrix type of thing. But.

Chris O'Neil (41:30.829)
Mm.

Chris O'Neil (41:35.696)
Good analogy.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (41:36.328)
To answer your first question, like the masturbation, the cleaning out your pipes and all that stuff, look, the way I answer that is I'm different, Florian's different, Chris, Pete, we're all different guys. Everybody has their own unique thing. So what works for me in my life is different for Florian and what's different for Chris, different for Pete, everything, so me, I practice my own personal stuff. I'm not like...

But you got to become some crazy monk and just go nuts and let all the semen go in your head And then you're that's not what I'm trying to say either, but you know but for some people to No, no, I mean I still look You know we were given these body. We're meant to enjoy them But I don't think we're meant to like day You know I just feel like what the porn is so many elements are at play there. You know the women who?

Chris O'Neil (42:14.104)
Good. Just wanted to clarify. Yeah, yeah, good.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (42:34.738)
Everything is just being lowered. You know, you're lowering your...

your standards as a human temple. There's just something not super sacred about that anyway. But you relearning kind of that, just to bring up quote Louis C.K. for example, I'm just gonna say I heard him in an interview recently, he had his whole issues and all that. And he said that during some therapeutic event that he saw this vision that he realized how sacred his sexuality was. And he was like.

Chris O'Neil (42:55.811)
Mm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (43:04.456)
This is something that you're supposed to really take care of. You know, in my kind of like a, you're not supposed to just, just abuse it and jerk off on everything, you know, in the sock and you know.

You saw a new girl works at work, so you're going to type in hot blonde to match. You know what I mean? So it's like all that stuff. I don't think that's the way we're supposed to go in that music. Each man knows where their limits are usually. Unless you start becoming numb, well, that's a whole another issue. But does that make sense? We're not like saying, don't ever mess with me. You got to do what's right for you. Also, if you do decide to do

Chris O'Neil (43:41.347)
Oh yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (43:46.93)
The body does its own system. Now some men they'll release in their dreams. I actually don't. I actually do seem to get in my dreams because I'm a little bit you know intense. I want to be in that much control of it. You know but I do you know have my moments as well you know in my personal life. But I'm saying the body does what it does as well at night time. So it's not really something that people have to worry about that you decide to choose that path.

Pete (44:14.326)
So now with your program that you're doing, it's tailored to the individual. So, and that both like the physical aspect and the mental. So, you know, so one person could work more on the mental aspect than the physical side and vice versa, right?

Now, like, when someone comes to you guys, like, what is your way of approaching and assessing? Like, how do you go about that to figure out how to tailor that toward the person?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (44:53.288)
Well, we ask them questions. We see what people in their lifetime, there's some people who are just gonna be, they're not gonna be doing squats, they're not gonna be doing any kind of weird spiritual stuff, that's fine. And then we help them find other ways that's tailored for them. Some people, if they're too busy, look, I don't have time to do a 15 minute workout, I'm opposed to that. And then we find other ways. Maybe some people are more visual, they like PDFs. Then we crank out a customized PDF, using help with technology and stuff

that gets to the heart of it. And so it's just each person's different. But what we do tend to do no matter what is make sure that we check in with people. And I don't wanna say like check in like babysitting. It's not like that. Cause you are, you know, but just the fact that like showing that we care, reminding also.

Pete (45:37.395)
Right.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (45:44.136)
But letting people, you know, when we ask people to make a commitment, you know, because we're committing ourselves to that, so you have to do that, you know. And if you're investing this into it, you got to make the commitment, too, you know, because that's how the work gets done.

Pete (45:51.275)
Mm-hmm.

Pete (45:59.106)
Enjoy it.

Chris O'Neil (46:00.42)
Mm. Yep.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (46:01.06)
And so yeah, so part of that is holding people to that. Like, well look, you said you were gonna do this. We're gonna hold you to that. Not like in a negative way. We figure out what works for people. Because some people like George S. Patton, telling them what to do. Other people don't want that. So we find it. Exactly, exactly. Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (46:17.685)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (46:21.638)
accountability absolutely

Pete (46:27.486)
Now, for you guys, does one of you work more on the emotional side and one focuses more on the physical? I'm assuming Austin, you're probably the, sounded, you're more the physical aspect and Florian, it sounds like you're more the emotional side from what I've gathered from what you guys have been talking about.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (46:50.612)
We tend to split it up like that, truly. Also when a person decides to work with us, he can then decide, okay, would you like to have Austin at your head coach? Would you like me at your head coach? Because it's not so much about the practice. This is what we have to understand. In the same way as I said before, it's not your sex drive that's messed up. There's something much deeper going on.

Pete (47:03.104)
Mm-hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (47:10.388)
without going too deep. We go deep but not any deeper than we need to. This is not therapy and people don't need therapy in order to quit porn. That's not what we're doing here. But people can choose. Do they want to work with Austin? Do they want to work with me? We both work with the clients but there tends to be a certain gravitation that people feel to either one of us. Emotions, beliefs as well. You know, what do you think about yourself?

Do you hold certain beliefs around shame about yourself? Do you believe you don't deserve as much as you would deserve without it? Is there anything getting in the way? This is what my specialty here is as well. Helping people get clarity, you know? Get clarity about why it's actually happening. Because once you have the clarity and you can explain it to yourself and potentially also disclose it to your partner if you feel so inclined.

Pete (48:02.656)
Alright.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (48:04.092)
It takes the pressure off yourself and you're going to see this from a different light. You're going to say, okay, that's going on. Okay. And then we sit down, make a personalized plan based on the needs of the person and we get the person follow through with that with accountability, with techniques to handle the urges in the moment and then also to handle your...

Chris O'Neil (48:24.13)
Mm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (48:25.488)
energy throughout the day, general energy management practices because a lot of pornography is just because people are anxious at night, they need to let one out in order to go to sleep. That's for a lot of eyes really what it is.

Pete (48:35.218)
Right. Now, I'm not trying to be sarcastic or anything, but a lot of things now, a lot of like, that emotional side and such, and you hear more and more about people using like psychedelics and things. Do you see that being as a helpful thing? I mean, I'm not saying I wanna go and take Hiawaska and release a fucking flute album like Andre 3000, but do you see like that kind of thing maybe playing into the future of what you guys are doing?

Chris O'Neil (48:57.694)
Hahaha

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (49:04.412)
Man, man, that's an amazing topic, man. So, look, I have a lot of experience with this. So does he, but yeah.

I'm very careful at how I say it because it is not for everybody, this stuff. It is absolutely not for everybody. And you know, you have to really be ready and prepared. And you have to really, if you're seeking anything like that, you have to make sure that you are with professionals, with the right people. I would really do your diligent research on that before you do partaking in it, because that will make or break a lot of situations. But to answer the other question, yeah.

Pete (49:19.284)
Exactly.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (49:45.826)
When I was in Mexico at a center for a while, a couple months, there was a Colombian shaman who came from there and we drank ayahuasca. That was part of the requirements that they were telling me, like, dude, you know, I was already doing semen retention, I was already doing very well into that stuff, but I just, without a month, I wasn't doing anything, no porn, no jerking out, nothing.

And then when I drink the ayahuasca, this is what was recommended, just like a few days. Don't do that for a few days and drink the ayahuasca because then you're kind of, you're more pure or whatever. But I was having experiences that were just out of control, powerful. You know. I had like.

Pete (50:19.136)
Right.

Pete (50:23.862)
But do you see that sort of substance, or even just like magic mushrooms? Because I've microdosed myself just to adjust with COVID, like very high anxiety. So I microdosed, I grew my own and microdosed on magic mushrooms. And I felt exponentially better. Do you foresee that kind of medicine being used to help treat an addiction like porn or anything like that?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (50:51.84)
Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, I think, yeah, I think it is. I think it's already probably being used for that in some, I haven't heard of that specifically for porn. That's actually good. That's a good thing to look into.

Pete (51:03.518)
I mean just because I know like a lot of people and myself included like the outlook after would exponentially better. Then the next time I tried it I took too many and my ceiling turned into sea turtles so. But otherwise it was a good time.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (51:12.937)
Right.

Chris O'Neil (51:17.677)
Hahaha

Well, as you said, and as we all said, it depends on who you are and whether, you know, some people that's a good Friday night and some other people it's the worst night they've ever had. So yeah, obviously depend and not being doctors, it's not something you can administer, but I certainly see the benefit for certain people of utilizing kind of outside the box type techniques in order to help.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (51:23.539)
YUM

Pete (51:23.754)
Go wave.

Chris O'Neil (51:49.79)
move you away from habits that are not serving you.

Pete (51:55.242)
Mm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (51:55.944)
Well, it helped me a lot. I can tell you that. It's had much more of a very, very positive impact. What it did for me was like, helped me realize, it helped me see that, wow, you can feel really good and real natural. Like as a man too, I felt, remember drinking ayahuasca for the first time, feeling like just masculine and not being able to apologize for it. And just feeling just totally proud of myself and stuff that I did not feel beforehand. You know, I did not feel, I felt very, a lot of anxiety growing up.

a lot of just bad feelings, you know, just not feeling good. In other words, and then when I drank and I saw that it's possible to live your life without depression, without this stuff, you know, it just really helped me to even know that existed. So that's what it did for me, for more than anything else.

Pete (52:43.592)
Excellent.

Chris O'Neil (52:44.272)
Hmm.

Pete (52:47.402)
So I want to give you guys a chance, well, we want to give you guys a chance to discuss the packages and the services that you want to offer. So we'll give you the floor to go ahead and open it up and talk about what you offer and pricing and all that sort of thing.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (53:05.152)
Sure, cool, thank you. Yeah, so what's in the, we have like a six month program and that will include one on one coaching, weekly, kind of like Zoom calls, 60 to 90 minutes each where we go.

Chris O'Neil (53:18.903)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (53:20.272)
to everything and each week becomes like a, you know, we kind of, with the weekly progress review. So we see what's worked that week, what hasn't worked, if there was any relapses, and then we just kind of, we're fine tuning it from there. Each week we're making it better, and we're setting you up for that next week. So that's, you know, that's included in that. And then we have basically daily check-ins, you know, either motivational videos from me, kind of.

pretty can be intense to really help you to motivate yourself through the rest of the day. So I personalize that. I would send each person separately that. It's not just like, I'm going to make one video and then a massive text. No, it's not like that. It's very personalized. We're taking our time with each individual person on that. And it doesn't have to be a video. It can be a text from Florian. It can be a call. And this is where we, after they sign up, this is what we try to figure out, what they want,

to them, you know, it's options. So, and then we would have, you know, basically lifetime access to the content. So everything that we do create in the future, they will have automatic access to that. A personalized action plan, so the action plan is just, it can change every week and it depends. But when we find kind of the things that fit and that make it work, that work for them, and that they did not relapse, then we try that a bit more.

We keep using that, and it just feels good to have a plan.

Each man, you know, it's just like you have an actual plan set for the week. It just, it gets you feeling good and you're a lot more prepared. So that's kind of how it works. Like the first two months is we're figuring that out because each person is so different. We're figuring out what's going to work for John versus Alex. And then we're testing things. We're testing things out. We're prepared for relapses. We expect relapses because we're humans and this is part of it, you know. Then the next two months after that, we kind of start,

Chris O'Neil (55:18.335)
Hmm.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (55:24.967)
Really fine tuning, but we're all things start to solidify a little bit on

two months. So you're really, you're doing your daily disciplines, you're doing routine, we are holding you accountable every day. We're checking up on you, we're just you know, we're seeing what's working. And then the final two months after the other six months, if there are any relapse, if there's any gaps, if there's anything in the action plan and that is weak, we find it. We figure out what it is so we can expose it and we can really set you up for life. So we

months is over it's not like we don't want you dependent on us after that. We want you to go out and do your own coaching you know and help your brothers and stuff you know that's what we really want and so that's it more or less. Right now we have it at $5.50 per month but we for your for your audience we have it at I think it goes down to $4.99

Pete (56:02.207)
Right.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (56:25.5)
So if they type in dads unfiltered in the code on the website, it'll bring it down to $4.99. You can also book a call as well and just let us know that you are from dads unfiltered and we will bring that down to $4.99 per month.

You can also pay for it all at once. It'll be a bit cheaper price if you just pay for it for the full six months We recommend that of course, you know, because it's showing that you know, we would love to just give this wait for free Here's the thing though when people are given some free the commitment level is just not there You're not when you invest into something you are more into this and this is just the matter of fact. So Yeah, we would one last thing too

Chris O'Neil (56:48.002)
Binenburg.

Chris O'Neil (56:59.703)
Very true.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (57:11.134)
In a particular audience, we will create a telegram group only for you guys who are in Dad's unfilters. So that way it can be a group for you guys to communicate within each other. You have much in common already. So it will be kind of more tailored to you as well.

Pete (57:28.562)
I was actually gonna ask about that. Does your program offer a social aspect where other guys can communicate so you build that kind of network and that community with each other? Because I feel that that's also important. You know, when they know that there's others going through that same struggle.

Chris O'Neil (57:39.17)
Hmm. Absolutely.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (57:47.404)
Yes. And there will be a lot of material that we are continuously creating to help men. It kind of changes. We will be making PDFs through Christmas time, through different holiday seasons. We're constantly trying to figure out what makes people trigger during these certain times and how can we help people so that they feel understood. And like, okay, yeah, during Christmas time I feel like...

crap and you know I want a relapse and that stuff so we you know we try to we try to tailor to the seasons as well and man it's a good time to get out of it start new years new years is coming up what a good way to start the new year and you can just telling you firsthand getting out of this porn thing it's just been the best thing in my life personally it really has really has so

Chris O'Neil (58:41.23)
I'd certainly w-

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (58:41.416)
Yeah, and for most people, I would like to add like...

Pete (58:43.574)
Chris, hold on, wait, Florian's talking.

Chris O'Neil (58:48.102)
I know, it's the delay.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (58:48.616)
We have a little bit of a delay here. Chris, go ahead.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (58:54.256)
Now I was saying that for a lot of people money just repents. You know, most people of us, we have a job, we have work and money just keeps coming in. But what doesn't keep coming in is time and basically joy. I mean, I believe all of us have certain moments of regret in life. I can look back at some things that happened during COVID where it wasn't quite as productive as I would like to have been. And I see that with a little bit of regret. I know it doesn't serve and I'm getting over that. But we do not want to live there.

is certainly a good idea because money replenishes, time doesn't, happiness doesn't and we hear from a lot of people that the consequences can be vast. I mean we've just before this podcast talked with a person who without going to too much detail his relation broke up. You know they were about to, they were engaged about to get married and it didn't work out because of it.

This is what we want to tell people that making this investment into yourself is going to open up a lot of opportunities because frankly, 2023, there are opportunities. Everything can change pretty quickly when the energy is there. When the energy is not spent in unhealthy ways, you can make improvements, physical health in...

read books, whatever it may be for you, create, get back to carpentry, get back to hobbies. A lot of things can happen. So I would like to get people to see that in perspective that yes it is a lot of money in this economy but the time and the pain that it saves you is certainly worth more than $500 a month.

Chris O'Neil (01:00:21.91)
Mmm.

Pete (01:00:36.148)
Yeah.

Chris O'Neil (01:00:38.442)
And I think most people don't look at that, especially so many men, and I've looked at things this way myself, where we're so conditioned to do things for other people, to provide, to serve, like we have to take responsibility and do all this. But we're not comfortable doing things for ourselves a lot of the time, unless that involves some level of doing something for somebody else, right? Or like, why do we go to the gym?

not necessarily for our own health, but to show off to other people. And that's not to say that's how it is across the board, but getting back to the idea that to actively invest in yourself is going to do nothing but benefit your life and in all the relationships within. So.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:01:31.536)
Yeah, exactly. It is like a gym membership too. That's why I like to look at it. It's like you get a gym membership. The gym's not exactly bugging you to, you know, hey, come to the gym every day. Hey, you weren't here today. Well, it's kind of like what it is. It's the way I look at this. You know, you're getting a gym membership and we are telling you, you got to come. You got to go to the gym and you got to get this in order. You got to get this. So sometimes it just takes that to somebody caring enough. We don't like to be like, hey, we're babysitting you.

We're trying to tell you what to do. It's not like that. But when you're in that situation, it's good to know that there's people who really care and really want you out and sometimes will tell you the things that you need to hear. And that's part of it as well. So, a lot like that. A lot like that, yeah. Sure. Yeah.

Pete (01:02:16.734)
much like a sponsor for AA.

Chris O'Neil (01:02:17.618)
Absolutely.

Pete (01:02:20.51)
Not that I'm speaking from experience, but.

Chris O'Neil (01:02:23.234)
Ha ha ha.

Chris O'Neil (01:02:27.35)
But yeah, yeah. And as and coming full circle, like I think men really need community way more than so many of us will admit. And it's as you know, Austin, you were saying way back in the day, like it was part of a man's life to connect with himself and with other men in the community. And.

form good relationships and supportive experiences. And I agree, we really have to get back to more of that. It's certainly something I'm working on with regard to the emotion coaching for myself and others. And this just feels like another version of that. It's obviously just specified with porn challenges. So, all good stuff.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:03:20.264)
Yeah, we want to say that we definitely appreciate your work and encourage everybody to, you know, maybe consider that as well. Getting back in touch with their emotions and working with that because not only pornography is one bad habit, but if people struggle with other bad habits, usually it's the emotional work that they can get the breakthrough, right? The insight that then facilitates the breakthrough, right?

Chris O'Neil (01:03:44.744)
Absolutely.

Pete (01:03:46.114)
too true.

Pete (01:03:51.102)
Well guys, on that note...

Chris O'Neil (01:03:51.359)
Well!

Yeah.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:03:56.052)
Yeah.

Pete (01:03:56.706)
I think we'll wrap it up. Glad you guys could make it through to chat with us. It was awesome.

Chris O'Neil (01:03:57.686)
God, this delay is just killing me.

Pete (01:04:02.754)
It's the first time I've talked to people from Peru. That's awesome. Sorry.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:04:04.337)
Yeah, so...

Chris O'Neil (01:04:06.722)
Yeah

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:04:07.972)
Well, I don't think we're from Peru, but we're... We ended up... I'm pretty much there now. My whole family, my in-laws, I'm deep, man. They speak Quechua, which is the language of the Incas. Sometimes my mother-in-law, she just speaks to me in that language, thinking I know it. I'm like, yeah, all right. It's pretty... Yeah.

Pete (01:04:09.354)
Well, you're there right now. That's all that matters. Ha ha ha.

Chris O'Neil (01:04:10.998)
who live in Peru, yeah.

Pete (01:04:31.336)
Smile and nod.

Chris O'Neil (01:04:33.896)
Yeah.

No, and really, genuinely thank you guys for sharing what you're doing, your passions for helping other people, coming from your own experience, being able to turn that around and share the benefit of that. And we are happy to facilitate getting that message out there because there's always going to be someone who needs it.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:04:38.48)
Yeah, it's crazy.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:04:59.445)
Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. And I think I don't know if I said the website get out of bed dot net. There's a few. There's some free resources to on there as well. So if anybody has any interest you can definitely don't have to put in your email. It's just free PDF free stuff for married men. Masterclass a few things on it.

Yeah, really new buckets, really new, but it's all on there too. So, yeah, yeah. So getoutofbed.net. Thank you, guys.

Pete (01:05:31.578)
Excellent. Thank you Alright guys till next week, huh?

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:05:37.642)
Alright.

Chris O'Neil (01:05:38.618)
Yeah. And yes, indeed. Thanks again for coming on and we wish you all the best moving forward and we hope we can get you some clients.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:05:40.04)
Sounds good. Peter Criss, husband of math. We wish you guys a good holiday season.

Austin Zest & Florian Rolke (01:05:54.544)
Awesome, thank you. All right, guys.