Fortitude
Everyone has a story of Fortitude! When we tell our stories of pain in adversity - stories of courage, redemption and hope - we give others permission to speak up and get the help they need. Each episode will give the listener a look inside what overcoming adversity looks like no matter what life throws at you. Each story is uniquely different - stories of alcoholism/addiction, infidelity, rape, abuse, loss of a child/children, cancer, rare disease, tragic accidents...etc.! We are in this life together to support one another and build community around hope and redemption. I am your host, Heather Kittelson, and I am so excited to have you here as part of the Fortitude community!
Fortitude
#12: Elena Evans - Adopted Amputee Full of Hope and Determination
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Elena Evans was born in Russia and later adopted by a family in Minnesota.
Elena was born with a rare medical condition which resulted in amputation of both of her feet at the tender age of four years old. Assured by her doctors that with the help of prostheses, she could be as active as any other child.
From the outside, it may seem as though Elena’s obstacles would consume her life. On the contrary; Elena rose in the face of adversity. Her energy and determination in life is contagious, and she likes to say her story is just being written.
Elena hopes to encourage others to live purposefully and share their abilities and passions, no matter the obstacle. She inspires those around her everyday and she continuously makes a lasting impact for Christ's Kingdom.
The Shiners have played a significant part in Elena's story - through surgeries, the healing process and fitting the right prosthetics. You can watch the whole story from this childhood video that was produced by the Shiners and this recent article.
Shriners video (2008): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKY1--3cr-o
Shriners article (2022): https://cm.shrinerschildrens.org/en/News-and-Media/Patient-Stories/2022/02/Elena
She recently was the keynote speaker for an organization she is very actively involved in and extremely passionate about - Wiggle Your Toes!
https://www.facebook.com/WiggleYourToes
Elena's FB - https://www.facebook.com/elena.evans.7330
Elena's Insta - https://www.instagram.com/elenaevans7/
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Here comes a Sundo.
SPEAKER_02Here comes a Sunday say it's all right.
SPEAKER_01Hello, fortitude audience. I am your host, Heather Kittelson, and I am here with my husband, Amos.
SPEAKER_00Hello.
SPEAKER_01And we also have Elena with us today, and she is out of the Minneapolis area. Um, funny story about Elena. Uh, I was at a local football game, and um up on the big huge, what do you call those things? Like a jumbotron? Was that what the big TV would be called?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_01Elena's beautiful story was shown at halftime. Um, the Shriners were doing some sort of PR video, and Elena just happened to be the person that they were featuring. And I was sitting there with my son, and I said, I have to know her. I have to find her. I don't know how it's gonna happen, but I'm gonna find her. And I remember my son was like, You are a little bit of a psycho mom. And I was like, No, I'm not. Because I was drawn to you so much. Your story was just beautiful, and you could just your your spirit was shining through your eyes when you were talking on the big jumbotron. So I went to extra lengths to track down a shriner and I asked him because I couldn't remember what your last name was, and so I tracked you down and I got your name, and then I um kind of stalked you a little bit on social media to try to find out who you were, and we've connected and we've talked on the phone multiple times. Um, so I am I'm really excited that this day has come that you are here and um being featured on our podcast. So thank you for being here, Elena.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, thanks, Heather, for having me. I'm super excited to be here and talk about my story. And obviously, Shriners is gonna be roped into it too. So um yeah, I'm I'm excited. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'm gonna have you just jump right into it. Um tell us a little bit about who you are. Um, you can share current your current situation and what you're doing, or you could just jump right into your story and why it is just so significant and why I feel like the world needs to hear it.
SPEAKER_02Sure. Well, awesome. Yeah, I think it's probably best to just start from the beginning, just like the Shriners video. Um so I well, yeah, where to start? I I was born in Russia. My my story begins in Russia. Um and I, you know, soon after I was born, um I was put in an orphanage. And I don't have a lot of background on why, but um, I, you know, you can jump to conclusions in Russia. I I was born with a birth defect, and um a lot of kids who are born with birth defects, physical uh differences or disabilities are are often orphans. And um, you know, I don't have the reason why, but I I think that's kind of why I don't know if my parents knew what to do, or I don't actually know much about my biological family at all. But anyway, I was born with um um a condition called uh longitudinal deficiency of the tibia. And that's where my I was born with feet just twisted in and um one side with a shim bone or partial shim bone and the other side with no shim bone. So obviously you can you can imagine that left my feet uh deformed and I was unable to walk. And so from there, um I was in an orphanage with all other, with a lot of other kids, able-bodied kids, and um for three years of my life I was in that orphanage um in Russia. And then crazy enough, um, two amazing people from Minnesota heard about me through an aunt of theirs. Um, and and just a little bit on on those people, my parents, um, they they both came to the conclusion separate of one another that they wanted to adopt somebody with special needs or a disability or something like that. And I just right there, I think that's miraculous because separate of each other. I mean, they hadn't even talked about it, they knew that that's what they wanted to do. So right there, you can already tell God's in the picture working, um, working in this story. And so they heard about me. And um, before they even saw a picture of me, they said, we want her, we're gonna go get her. Um, and so months and weeks of determined efforts to um, you know, there's just so many hoops they had to jump through for adoption, especially in a country like Russia. And so um they finally were able to come over to Russia and meet me for the first time. And from there, I mean, my mom describes it as she was just overwhelmed. Like it was just an overwhelming feeling of this is the this is right, we're supposed this is what we're supposed to do, um, and adopt her and bring her back. And so um I think every single day they were in the courtroom and um discussing it, signing papers, trying to work with translators, um just a lot of work every day to to even make this adoption a reality. Um but at the end of their journey there, um the judge said yes. And um I went home with them at three and a half. And um from there, I guess I mean, there's so much to happen in between that and then moving on to um Schwiners and amputation. So I guess I don't know where you want to jump in, Heather, but I I I went to the to Minnesota and was I I joined a family. I had two brothers all of a sudden and a dog and a neighborhood. And um, it was just a whole new world. I still knew very little English at the time. And um yeah, I guess I I'll pause there if you want to jump in and to be three and a half years old, have a new family and a different language. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Wow, do you remember that?
SPEAKER_02It yeah, with I had to have the help of an interpreter to um explain just a lot of basics. I mean, everything from food to family to what it's like to have a pet in the house, to um what school looked like here in in Minnesota and or in the United States and what the next steps were for me um in my education. And all I mean, all of that just I needed the help of somebody else to to help explain that to me. But I was also very young and and really quickly adapted and learned um not just the language, but just life here. I I didn't know anything else except the orphanage. Um, and so at a young age like that, you you're just you're malleable. You can quickly adapt to to new surroundings like that and learn a lot.
SPEAKER_00Do you do you remember being happy in the orphanage? As happy as you can be in an orphanage? We we often paint, see pictures of orphanage, and it seems it's kind of a gloom, gloomy image. Yeah, you know, it's usually in the movies. But what's real life like?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, I didn't maybe it's a blessing. I don't remember anything um from when I was in the orphanage, but my parents explained to me that that I knew what love was, I knew what embrace was and warmth and a hug, and I knew how to brush my teeth and comb my hair, and um I played with other kids. And so clearly I was I was in one of probably the better orphanages um where I I don't so many people's adoption stories can be different in terms of like my parents really went into learning about um sorry, they they spent time learn talking to psychologists and doctors and trying to figure out what it's like to adopt somebody coming from a place like a Russian orphanage in a pretty poor area. Um didn't know if I would be afraid of men or um animals, dogs, you know, in the streets, they're wild dogs. Um if if I would even be comfortable around new people like parents or people who come into the orphanages, because I can't imagine what what kids are thinking when they keep seeing new adults come into an orphanage to pick up other kids. Um and so there's so much they wanted to learn and and how best to approach this situation. But um, thankfully, I mean, I'm so so grateful that I I was treated well for the most part. And um and I I just think the big thing is I knew what what love was, I knew what being embraced was like. Um I was smiled a lot. Um you still do. I'm grateful for that.
SPEAKER_01I the part when you talk about your parents and them praying and and how God put it on their heart to adopt a little girl from Russia with a disability. I mean, that it was so clear to them that that's what God wanted them to do. And when you talked about that, I instantly started crying because I was like, man, like looking at you now and looking at the life that that God has given you through speaking through to your parents. Whoa, like that's that's huge. It's really, it's really beautiful. So um one day when I meet your parents, I mean, I can't wait to just hear their heart on how that all transpired because it's really beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, oh absolutely. I wish they were sitting right here because I'm sure they have so much to so much input on this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, maybe a part two, because we definitely need to to speak to parents because adoption is a really big thing. And I think people are really scared to go through the adoption process because it is so cumbersome, it is expensive. There are a lot of hoops and a lot of legalities that you have to go through in order to just get this beautiful little child that that you want to love, you know? You wouldn't think it would be so hard. Um, and I the the system people shy away from the process. And um those who just dig in and and are determined, man, they bless their hearts that they do it. So, okay, so you're at they they come over and you see these these two beautiful American people from Minnesota, arms wide open, they take you back, you're immersed into the culture, and all of a sudden, did the shrine shriners hear about your story, or someone told them about your story?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, somebody told them about shriners actually. And so before I even came over to the states, they they met with physicians, they met with um surgeons, they toured the facility multiple times. Like they just wanted to get very familiar with the place because looming in my near future was um was going to have to be surgery, it was going to be amputation. And so um, you know, they decided on Shriners that that was gonna be the best spot for me to get those procedures um and to go through um rehab and and just getting all that taken care of before I could ever ever even put a set of prosthetics on. Um so yes, they heard about Shriners through through um, I don't actually know who, but um, through research and and friends and family.
SPEAKER_01Um so they prepared before they had everything lined up with the shriners and with the doctors and everybody before they even brought you back to the states, knowing that that was the the direction they were gonna take it. Okay, so how long, how much how much time transpired with you getting acclimated into your home and with your parents and stuff before then you went into the hospital and started the procedures?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think it was just a few months, um, which I know my my parents said that they were worried um that with it only being a few months that I could lose trust, um that I could get very scared. Um, you know, there already were, it already takes so much time to build trust with somebody new. I mean, I can't imagine. I've never adopted, but I've been on the other side of it. And um, from my parents' perspective, I'm sure they were just terrified that I would lose trust in them and and be afraid of them if they're bringing me to this hospital, this, you know, where people are analyzing me and eventually I was gonna have surgery, which is so invasive and um and not just surgery, but amputation.
SPEAKER_01Um technically they're taking something from you.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. It was definitely nerve-wracking for them. Um, but they were assured that they were in the best hands and that, you know, they this is what they this is what Shiner does um best. And so I really was in a in a good place. And then also again with the interpreter, um, they explained to me that they'd have to remove my legs so that I could run and play and um just be as active as any other kid. And and you know, they said, like, if you want to play with your brothers, you want to play soccer, hockey, my dad was so into hockey, um, all of that, I was like, Yes, yes, I want to play. And so I think that was kind of the the motivator for me. And I've always been a motivated, optimistic person, I'd like to say. Um, and so I think that started from a very young age. Um, and I said, Yes, I want that. Whatever, whatever needs to be done, I want that.
SPEAKER_01So um yeah. That was great psychology on their part to prep you for all of the goodness that was to come. Um, because I look at it and go, and you go in there and what you have had, and it's your body and it's your legs, regardless if they're pointing the right direction or not, they're still yours. And for them to say, um, these are gonna go away. I mean, that for a three and a half year old to that would be very frightening. So it's neat that that the Shriners took, I mean, I'm sure a lot of surgeries that they do, they have to take a lot of unique approaches with it. But yeah, I mean, how many, how many surgeries did you have to have all in all?
SPEAKER_02Oh, I want to say probably four to five surgeries total. And and some of them were later on when I was in, you know, later in elementary school, or I think one was in middle school too. So haven't had any since, but it's been about four or five surgeries total.
SPEAKER_01And were the surgeries just due to growth? Like because as you would grow, your legs would need okay. Yep.
SPEAKER_02Um, one of them, or the most recent one, well, it was actually due to a knee injury. So it it was done at Shriners, but it wasn't even related to my prosthetics. But then the year a couple of years before that, um, it was to stunt some great growth plates, um, just because I was getting to the point where they needed to stop growing.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Yeah. So do you keep in contact with any of your doctors? Do you have you had the same ones?
SPEAKER_02I do, yeah. Um, I well, I haven't talked to my I I had the same surgeon for all of my surgeries, which was great. That's the beautiful part about Shriners, they really get to to know you in that way. And they stick with the same positions and OMP professionals. But um for my my prosthetist that I had, um I I won't mention his name, but I had the same prosthetist my entire time at Shriners for about 18 years. And I I always explain like he knew my legs and how it felt to sit in my sockets and my prosthetics almost better than I did. He was incredible at it. And he, I think it's just a different situation than any other one of his patients because he knew when I came over that he had to be so careful and so gentle. And um it's that trust piece as as I was so new to all of this and I'm trying to understand that and coming from a different country, he didn't want to lose trust with me um, you know, poking around at my legs and fitting me for prosthetics or or even like scare me with, you know, like the cast, um, the saw that takes off a cast. Like I was terrified of that thing. And so they found really, really great ways to just make me as comfortable as possible. And the fact that I got to work with him for 18 years, I mean, I I trust that person with my life. He's phenomenal. And um, and he just recently retired, and so yes, I do keep in contact with him and um super grateful for that. Amazing.
SPEAKER_01Um, you so you said that your brothers right away, you have two new brothers, right? So you you enter into this sibling relationship, and I'm just really curious how that transpired. Like, how did your brothers uh did they open open their arms and like welcome you in right away? Or were they a little hesitant, a little jealous? Like, what was the feeling there?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I I I mean, I don't remember right away when I was three and a half, but I I yeah, I got along with them right away. I we were very active. We played all our family played a lot of sports, so we would be outside all the time and playing. And um again, I just I adapted so quickly. Like that was my new normal. And um I was sandwiched between two boys, so you can imagine that got me pretty tough and thick skinned. And um my my younger brother, who's only just a he's only just a few months younger. So we grew up going to the same, or we were in the same grade, same class. Um, and and all the time, people would be like, Are you guys twins? Are you twins? And for the longest time, we'd we'd explain the story. No, we're not twins. And then I think it was like later elementary school, fifth or sixth grade, we're like, Yeah, we're twins. Yep, it just we don't want to explain it anymore. It's easier, yeah. It's easier that way.
SPEAKER_01And are they also are they close by? So your relationship continues to just be close still. Yeah, that's wonderful. I have three older brothers, I think we've talked about that. So I just adore the relationship that I was able to develop with brothers. It's it's a unique just makes us so tough.
SPEAKER_00Because I'm the I'm the eldest of my family, and I think I was I think I I got off easy. I was too I was too nice to them.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's still time there's a lot of time.
SPEAKER_00But uh I think that was pretty nice. Oh, that's funny.
SPEAKER_01Um did they ever have to go through any moments of having to stick up for you, Elena? Like with did you get any type of bullying or any type of situations where just a just having a disability or being adopted?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, that's a great question. I know, I know that's happened. I can't think of a specific example, but yeah, my brothers were always in my corner, especially because we were always like I said, we we always played. We always went outside, did things, had friends over, neighbors over. And they they just treated me as any other kid, which I think was really important um growing up. Uh and I wish I could think of a good example, but I know they've stuck up for me in situations when I was younger, um, probably on you know the baseball field or in the swimming pool or something active, sports related. Um but I I remember just one moment, um, not with my brothers, but this was a moment where I was alone and I was we were in Florida for a family trip vacation, and I um I was just by the the beach, the water, um, in a swimsuit, prosthetics, you know, everything's visible. And this little kid, I mean, I don't know where she came from or he, I can't even remember who it was, but he came up and was like poking fun at my legs, calling them doll legs, like saying I can't swim, I I can't do things. And I was like, Yeah, I can look at me, I'm doing it right now. Yeah, I can. And then I kept saying yes, and then he's like, No, you can. And like by the third or fourth time, I was like, I don't maybe I can't. I don't know, you know, like you start questioning it as a little kid. I'm like, well, everybody's telling me I can't do this, so maybe I can't or shouldn't, or you know, it's just confusing at that age. Um, and so I remember that point where I was just I was I'd always been told that I can do stuff. And I always I grew up with brothers who encouraged that. And we, you know, played in the mud and got dirty and and like went crazy um in terms of like our sports and athletics and activities and all that. And so I felt normal, but then having kids, especially as I got older in elementary school and middle school, and then I mean high school is all about appearances and all that, um, it got harder to realize like that, or that's when I started realizing I am different. Um, I probably look different and people question my abilities and all of that. So I yes, I guess to go back to your question, I I was always supported at home. I um was encouraged to just be like anybody else because I was. I mean, really, my my the fact that I'm an amputee is really just a small piece of my life. Um But as I got older, that's when people start noticing it and questioning what I can and can't do. And that makes you start questioning it too.
SPEAKER_00Wow. What was the what was the what did you do to overcome that? What did it take and how?
SPEAKER_02That's I don't know. I don't know if there's a single answer for that, but I mean, over the years, it's just taken a lot of self-love and realizing my own abilities and excelling in sports actually gave me like it was such a vehicle of for for confidence. And um yeah, I think sports was really an area that I rooted myself in and realized I can do this. I, you know, I'm not necessarily out on the field to prove a point, but at the same time, I sort of am out on the field to prove a point and say, this is what I love to do, this is what I'm really good at. And look at all my teammates, they don't look like me, but we all play the same, you know, mean game softball or hockey or whatever. So I think um sports was actually a really great way to overcome that and to find confidence in myself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So that on that beach that day that did plant a seed, uh a poison seed of some sort. And how how old were you? Do you remember how old?
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't remember exactly. I think I want to say like five, maybe. Um, really, really young. The fact I'm actually surprised I even remember that because I don't remember the rest of the trip, but I remember how significant that that little boy walking up to me telling me I can't do stuff. That was really significant in my life.
SPEAKER_00And had did is that something you thought about later in in in life? Just am I right in that that pointed at plant plant a seed, you it's something you overcame. It's something you had to deal with, it's something that made you stronger, but it's something you had to deal with because it was there, it happened.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Is that right?
SPEAKER_02I'm sure it it impacted the re the way I walked in the next few years and um in school and how people viewed me. I'm sure it it actually put some like I I guarded myself more. Um, you know, and I I don't remember, I'm just thinking I probably did put up walls more because I thought this is how people view me. And you know, that's just one boy in a different state. Like, how does that, you know, how do my peers view me? Um and so yeah, I I'm I'm sure it did impact um years later.
SPEAKER_01Did you just did you discuss it with your mom or your dad afterwards?
SPEAKER_02Or did you just kind of just I don't remember discussing it. I think I just brushed it off, but you know, it's it was there. Like I was thinking about it. Um and yeah, I it it's just interesting now. I I don't talk about it often, but thinking about it now, the fact that I remember that really just small memory um was actually pretty profound. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The words that people say to another are so important. And when you're younger, there's those traumatic moments that can shape your thoughts, your your psyche as you move forward in life. And so that's why we teach our kids, you know, like just always be kind. Make sure your words are kind that come out of your mouth, regardless of no matter who you're talking to, right? Yeah. Um, you know, when we go to the the adoption and then to being an amputee and um people with disabilities or just of any kind of differences, you and I have talked a little bit about that, but I want to dig into that in a second. Um but when when people without a disability see somebody with a disability, is it all right for us to walk up to you and ask what happened?
SPEAKER_02Uh for me, yes. Personally, that's fine. Um, I don't I can't speak for everybody because some people uh don't want to talk about it or it's traumatic or triggering, or I mean, you never know where somebody's coming from who has a disability. And I've been working with amputees and volunteering with uh amputee organizations and realizing that like I'll do hospital visits and they just lost their leg or legs or arm or whatever yesterday in a traumatic injury. Like I don't think they're gonna be comfortable having people walk up to them, you know, in a couple of months and say, what happened? They might still be triggered. That might be a lot for them, it might be triggering. And so you should be mindful, just like you don't walk up to somebody with a in a wheelchair and assume they need help, you know. You just need to be careful um how you approach that. But me personally, like I love when people ask. Um it took years though to feel comfortable because again, in elementary school, I was I was more guarded. And um I always assumed when somebody said what happened, it was just right away, it was like negative for me. I was like, why do you always assume something happened to me or like why do you want to know? Or I just I guess I didn't like them saying something because that pointed it out as yeah, pointed it again. Even if they had no opinion or emotion tied to their question, it's still I I put a negative emotion on it, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Um it draws attention to it, which you is not what you want, is what I'm guessing, is drawing in the attention. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay. But now, I mean, now that I get to talk about it so openly, and um, something that I've learned over the years is just embracing it. Like we all have stuff that that makes us different or unique, um whether it's visible or not, you know, and so mine just happens to be very visible. And so if it does spark conversation, it's actually really exciting. And I get to tell people about my story, my background, and um and it and it weaves important things in my life like family and faith and community and friends and sports, and like it just oftentimes brings up so much more than just the fact that I'm an amputee. And so um I love talking about it and I like when people say, you know, what what happened, or I guess what happened is a kind of a more negative way of saying, you know, tell me about your story, or yes, um, you know, I I noticed you're an amputee or you're you wear prosthetics. Can you tell me more? Like I'd rather have people ask it that way, I guess. But either way, however it comes out, I'm happy to to share.
SPEAKER_01That's really good advice. That is, that's kind of what I was hoping you where you would go in regards to how we craft the invitation of a conversation is really important because um, you know, a lot of times I'll see or I've heard moms hush their children on not don't no don't ask that, you know, because kids are curious and they want to know and they want um instead of standing there and staring awkwardly, um I've had moms say, I would love for the kids to come over and ask and and I'll share with them what why my why my son is in a wheelchair and has a breathing tube and you know walking, like differences and and being able to share in those and teach each other. And that is so important. And so um again, it's just all in the crafting and how you approach somebody with curiosity versus shaming them or making them feel like they're different, it's more of a um, like you said, tell me your story.
SPEAKER_02Let's exactly and it the kids, you know, like to be able to start that at a young age, that's so important because yeah, you can see the negative effect it had on me with that little boy in Florida who said that to me. I saw it in such a negative way when he said those things. But if if I was approached with more kindness and love and you know, asking, like, what happened or what what does this mean? What is this? Um, I think I would have like celebrated it more and and been excited to talk about it and lift it up. So I think we should do that with, you know, I think all kids should do that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. There's uh even in um no visible disability like myself, right? There's no, I don't show a disability, but I have a disease. And um, you know, it's like asking the questions, being able to openly have that disc this the discussion of all of our differences and and what we all where we come from, what we suffer with, what you know, there's a lot of underlying things that I think if we were just more open about and having open conversations, because a lot of what Amos and I have talked about with in a marriage, you know, a lot of stuff is sweeped under the rug. Kind of like the the mom saying to the little kid, don't don't ask that, don't ask that. The mom, it's making it taboo, it's making it unapproachable. It's now forever, this little kid is gonna be like, Oh, I see something, but I can't ask, or I can't be curious. And so just if we were just more open to having those kind of conversations, and even even when it's difficult, even if it did hurt your feelings to be able to say, Oh, hey, you know, here's maybe a different way of approaching me with that question. I mean, we have the opportunity to correct people, right? In a in a kind way. So we really that's kind of why we started the podcast in a in a in a big picture is let's let's have these tough conversations because they're beautiful, yeah, right? Like we're all so beautiful in all of our own individual ways. So um, so enough of me blabbing. I could go on and on and on about that. So um you did mention your faith, which when we connected for the first time on the phone, Elena, you and I, I was on my way to Woodstock to speak to the women at the treatment center, and we talked the whole hour, the whole drive there, and we were just blah, blah, blah, like I could have talked to you for a whole nother couple hours. But in regards to your faith, and so I'm guessing that stems from your parents. I mean, they were praying for you probably before you were even born, you know. So how you're you have a foundation from when you were just teeny, and how has that moved into your adult life? Yeah, I think I mean, faith is a journey.
SPEAKER_02It, I mean, it doesn't just happen overnight. But I, you know, moving to Minnesota, I I entered into a home where Christ was at the center of it. Like my family, they are the strongest Christians I know, the greatest example, my parents, especially within a marriage, um and within a whole family. And so to have that as the foundation of my family and of my life is awesome right off the bat. And then I get to grow into that. Um, before I even moved to Minnesota, I heard that our my parents' church community was praying for me and praying when they were over in Russia getting me. Um, that we just had a whole team and you know, army of prayer warriors um through the church. And so I grew up going to church. I love church. Um got very involved with um youth group and missions trips and developed some of my best friends from from church. Um, and yeah, it was just such a positive place for me to be. And it's where I heard um the gospel and where I, you know, asked Jesus to be a part of my life and where I, you know, it's just where a lot of transition happened in my life. Um and so I I think there are multiple ways I could go with this, but I guess with with growing up in it, it can become so like routine, uh mundane, um, just a part of your life. You go to church on Sunday, maybe Wednesdays, um, hang out with these people, go to Bible study, it just can become so um ordinary, I guess. But as I grew up and and started joining other groups and being able to, I mean, I I grew up in a very large, or I went to school at a very large public school, secular school, and realizing that if I want to be a Christian, if I want to live differently, like that's my choice. I gotta do that. Um, because I think everyone around me is is not necessarily exemplifying that. And so um it's just something I started learning. I got baptized when I was a senior before I went off to college because I really I I just felt like that was a great time to do it. And I I was so excited at that point um to to proclaim my faith in that way and um go out. And once you're in college, I mean there's nobody holding your hand. Like you need to make the choice to if you're gonna be a believer and a Christian and a Christ follower um in college, like that's you need to do that.
SPEAKER_01It's your choice.
SPEAKER_00You have to exactly and so a lot of a lot of opportunities to to not live that live that out in college.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, a lot of temptations and um um yeah, a lot of choices.
SPEAKER_01Do you think your your journey could have been a lot different, Elena, without I mean you with all the obstacles that you have gone through not having Christ going through those just the difference, right? The difference and not like have you ever thought that through?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, lots of times in in so many different ways, too. It's like being a Christian gives me so much hope and such a beautiful eternal perspective that if I didn't have that, I honestly think I would be like, why is this my life? Why me? Why, you know, I think I would just have a much more bitter perspective on life in my circumstance um and not see the beauty in it. Um, maybe I would, you know, I have no idea, but I just think I would have a much less um, I wouldn't have as much joy in my circumstance and be able to hopefully bring other people to Christ. Like that is my goal. I want to live for Christ every single day. And if sharing my story allows me to do that, awesome. If if if I didn't have that in my life, well, I don't know what I would, you know, kind of what the objective of sharing my story would be. Um and um maybe I mean hopefully it would inspire people in other ways, but I I ultimately want that to be a way to talk about my faith, introduce that to people, um, you know, stir something in their heart. Um and so yeah, I just think I I wouldn't be as empathetic or loving or joyful or optimistic, um, just all of these things if that wasn't, if that didn't start kind of at the the heart of my life, uh in the the very beginning of my story.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I love that. I I um some of the most fire on fire people I know for Christ are the ones who have a clear clear contrast when they didn't grow up with Christ in their family, they found Christ and they go, Oh my gosh, this is the best thing ever, and they're on fire. They could they know they have the difference. And then there's there's people like you and me and and Heather who has always been a part of our lives. And sometimes you fall fall off the wagon like I did for a while, but you never really forget. And I'm always I'm always um really um I'm always uh was uh um inspired by people who have lived it their entire life. I think it's rare that you see someone live that their entire life and and and maintain that fire for Christ when they never have not known, you know? It's it's because it's it's it's easy to fall into temptations, and we all do. It's real we live in a fallen world, we're all human, right? But to maintain that throughout life, I think is is is um a wonderful story, it's a wonderful, uh um inspiring thing to hear.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you. And I think also it's it's like I said, it's a journey. Like I that's how it started, but I've grown so much and I'm still growing. There's no end point. I'm not going to like reach peak Christianity or something. Right.
SPEAKER_00Um peak Christianity. I've arrived. I'm at the peak.
SPEAKER_02I've arrived and there. It's like we're always growing and maturing in our faith. And yeah, you know, I've I've seen that in my life over the years, especially when it's like I'm I am on my own. Nobody's holding me and or holding my hand and walking me in my faith anymore. Like it is my choice every day. Every day I would drive to work and be like, God, just use me today somehow, whatever it is, just use me. I hope I'm glorifying you in everything I do. And so it's like I could choose not to pray that every day, you know, and I could do my life so differently. I could surround my people or myself with people who aren't inspiring that in me and filling me up with um or filling me up in my faith. But I make a choice to do that because it's important to me and it's growing me closer to God. And hopefully I'm being a better, you know, witness for Christ and example in this world.
SPEAKER_01Since the first moment we started talking, I was like, and how old are you? I was like, what? When I hear you talk, I think back to when I was in my mid-20s, early twenties, I was like, so in a different world. I was in such a selfish mode of, you know, figuring out who I was. And you just you have really great perspective on life, yourself, eternal salvation, all the things. And so kudos again to your parents for really showing that. Um, one thing Amos and I speak about often is the foundation of family and the foundation of marriage and raising our kids in a home where they see love and they see how a husband and a wife should should truly treat one another um with honor and respect. And the unconditional love that Christ gives us, I mean, I really don't feel like there that's truly possible, except between a child and a parent, right? Like the there's true unconditional love there. Um, but there is acceptance in a beautiful way, and then challenging each other to be better every day for one another and for those around us. And so I am in awe of how far ahead you are. Like you have an old soul, which is just beautiful all in itself.
SPEAKER_02But um, thank you. So you it's it's again that it my parents, my parents, and I'm so grateful that they set that example, like you just talked about. Um that really does predict the trajectory of your kids' lives.
SPEAKER_01It does. And it's never too late to start that. That's what it will say all the time. Like, man, it doesn't matter if your kids are teenagers, like it's not you're they're not you're like to fall in love with Christ and to start that journey. Like, there are so many people that will go through discipleship with you or go through mentorship with you to help you on this journey because it's taken I'm I mean, I'm mid-40s and it is it's taken a long time to get where I'm at. Um and you've said it multiple times, it is a journey. So to start somewhere is the beginning of something super beautiful, right? And even if you didn't grow up with it, um and you have no idea even what it is, you just to start. I mean, reaching out to us here on the podcast is a a great place to start because you know, but I'm curious.
SPEAKER_00What um it sounds like your parents were really intentional uh across the board. What what do you remember the most about what your parents did and things that they were intentional?
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's I could I could say about a hundred things.
SPEAKER_00Um sorry, we're almost out of time. You gotta pick you gotta pick. Can you pick 50, write it down to 50?
SPEAKER_02Heather was saying just how they show love to each other and respect. And my parents, I always saw that, even if it was just like how they greeted each other when they got home from work, or um my dad making dinner because my mom had such a long day at the office and saying, I want to do this for us, or for mom, or um the the way they just their posture, just the way they carried themselves, um, even in public or at church or um at home and how they always invited people into the house. And it just I just felt so much warmth in our home. And you know, that's from my parents, but also it's just because it they just it's again, I don't know, it's God, it's the faith at the center of our home as the foundation. And um I knew what that felt like, and I like I want that for myself someday, and um, I want to create a home like that. And so I think just to have incredible examples of Christ as parents, um is uh yeah, I I almost can't even put words.
SPEAKER_00It's a generational difference, they've made a difference in you, and you're gonna carry that into your next marriage, which in a in not next, first, her first marriage. Right, in your first marriage.
SPEAKER_01She's never had one yet.
SPEAKER_00And you know, and the good thing the good and the and the bittersweet about this is that it narrows down the list of candidates for you, doesn't it? Because you have a bar. And unfortunately, I think in this culture that bar is getting lowered and lower all the time as as as um you know, family split and People don't grow up with these values, and that's their their expectation of what marriage is is very different. Um do you do you ever think about that or not? Are you uh intentional as you're as you're meeting people?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's that's extremely important to me. And I think it does make like dating harder and relationships harder because I do have I hate saying it, but I have standards, you know, and I don't hate to say that, girl.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you have standards because you earn them.
SPEAKER_00Yes, those generationally changing standards.
SPEAKER_02True, yeah. And it's I feel like it's just harder in our world today, um, with what we see in movies and on shows and what we read in books and what we just see as relationships in social media, all that is the becoming the new norm. And it's not what I want. Um, and it's hard to it's it's hard to navigate that when that's just not what most people think is normal. I mean, what my parents have. I mean, I was just talking to this with somebody when when somebody says, you know, congrats on 30, 40 years of marriage, we like celebrate and think it's just crazier and are in shock. And I'm like, why is that not normal? Like, that's awesome that you guys are together, but why are we such a shocker? That's that that's like a new thing. Um, it's so, I mean, I want that someday, but I just think it's so interesting the way we approach um marriage today and relationships and and how it they're not expected to last. And you know, people have three, four husbands or wives down the road. And I'm like, that's I don't want that. I really don't want that.
SPEAKER_01Um Elena, I heard the other day, and I had well, I had a conversation with someone that um the Cinderella story is uh like these little girls see this and then they're told that, well, don't don't get your heart set on that. That's just Disney and that's just fairy tale and blah blah blah. You know, it's like it actually is what they should be seeking. They should be seeking a Cinderella story because if they do, then they're not gonna settle for what the world is offering. They are like, no, I want my prince, and we're gonna find it was Kim. It was in our previous podcast. Kim was like, we should, we should set our girls up for this because their prints is out there and they should that's what they should desire because it is possible. I have my prince right here, you know, like and I unfortunately had I I uh it's it's possible.
SPEAKER_00I'll just put that in the record. I am far from perfect.
SPEAKER_01None of us are soulmate. When you search for your soulmate and you are intentional in your marriage, and you're intentional in um your growth, your your emotional intelligence and your growth, and it's it's powerful, it's really powerful. So um one thing I want to end us on, Elena, is you mentioned celebrating people's differences. When we talked about that the other day. And so as you continue on in your journey as Elena and your mission to make the world a better place, which you are every single day, what does that look like celebrating each other's differences?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think I mean, it took me years just to embrace my difference. But once I finally did and just let go and just like loved it about me and what it opened up opportunities to speak to people and meet new people and and just all the things that it brought, I felt so liberated and just it was a beautiful feeling. And so for me to realize that like uplifting and celebrating and embracing those differences is what makes us so cool as humans. I mean, that's just exciting to me. It fires me up. And so um, yeah, I just I you know, you hear it a lot, it's pretty cliche to say embrace differences, but it's like seriously, like notice that in people and love it. And um, you know, you don't have to tiptoe around things like disabilities and and whatever, because it's it's just a part of your life. And honestly, when you're vulnerable about it and you you share it, um I think you attract more people in your life. It is an attractive thing. And so um I hope that that brings more people into my life and that I get to meet more people and experience really neat opportunities, people with maybe a similar diagnosis that I would have never met if I hadn't been uh open to sharing my story. So I think I guess if I can say it again, embrace differences and love diversity, um, because we are really all so so different, whether it's visible or not.
SPEAKER_01So well said. Ah well, we're gonna continue to celebrate each other's differences for many, many years because I am never gonna let you out of my life. Ever, if that's okay. All right. Well, I think that we can wrap it up. So thank you for allowing our audience, the Fortitude audience, into your life and for sharing your story. Elena, it means the world to us. It's been an honor.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, thank you, Heather Tamous, for having me on on Fortitude.