Toxic Masculinity Isn’t The Problem, Waiting Is

We step back from the online noise to talk about real leadership under stress and why quiet, decisive action saves lives. Five true stories show how triggers, roles, and rally points turn gear into outcomes.

• redefining toxic masculinity toward calm service
• what a quiet alpha leader looks like at home
• Sanibel evacuation choice before the bridge failed
• Texas freeze hospitality and neighbor care
• Kentucky flood attic rally point and rescue
• Colorado chainsaw escape route under wildfire winds
• Tennessee lesson on planning versus stockpiling
• how to write triggers, roles, and rally points
• assigning backups when someone is away
• practicing simple evacuation and link-up drills

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Chapters

• 0:00 Warm Welcome And Getaway Reset
• 1:42 Online Whiplash And Reader Email
• 3:18 Political Trust, Censorship, And Power
• 6:40 Borders, Protests, And Public Perception
• 10:02 Redefining Toxic Masculinity
• 12:15 What A Quiet Alpha Looks Like
• 13:40 Story 1: Sanibel Evacuation Choice
• 14:55 Story 2: Texas Freeze Hospitality
• 16:10 Story 3: Kentucky Flood Rally Point

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:17

To the Common Sense Practical Prepper Podcast, where prepping doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. Coming to you from a well-defended off-grid compound high in the mountains. Coming to you from his Florida room in Richmond, Virginia. Neither off-grid nor well-defended, unless you count as chickens and cats, here is your host, Keith.

SPEAKER_00: 0:41

Hey all, this is Keith, and welcome back to the Common Sense Practical Prepper Podcast, November 25th, 2025. And tonight's podcast might seem a bit disjointed, so I'll try to tie it all together as best I can. So over the weekend, over a long weekend, Friday through Monday, I had a chance to go about three and a half hours west of Richmond to a resort allowed me to disconnect from reality in a sense, to kind of unplug for a bit, I guess you could say. Now this resort was absolutely fantastic. I've never been to this place before. My girlfriend suggested the trip, and we went, and it was everything I read about, and then some. So allowed some time to get away, disconnect, unplug, and I stayed off the internet probably 99% of the time I was there because the place was just absolutely beautiful. The folks who worked there were incredible, the other guests, the food. It was really, really nice. Not to mention the scenery, tucked in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Absolutely fantastic. So got back into town early yesterday evening, Monday evening, and started getting caught up on social media, which, given the fantastic four-day weekend, was probably a mistake, but I was jolted back to reality pretty quick. Checking some emails. One of the emails this person asked me about politics. So I'll go into a little bit about politics because it ties into the main subject of this podcast a little bit. So this person asked me, given the current situation here in the United States, where I think things are gonna go politically. And here's my opinion. In 2024, the Republicans ran on no censorship and no identity politics. I've quickly come to realize, again, my opinion, that certain members of the Republican Party are all about censorship and all about identity politics. I'll touch briefly on the Epstein files. Previous administration had them, the administration before that had them, but yet people are moving heaven and earth not to have those files completely released. Speaker Johnson says it has something to do with national security. That's a bunch of crap. They don't want any more of the information getting out there that Epstein was in bed, or that probably of the 535 members of the U.S. legislature, probably 525 were up to no good with Epstein. They were compromised by a foreign government, by him, regardless, they were compromised. And it's kind of funny that politicians are worried about their reputation being tarnished or being more tarnished than it already is, which I think is laughable. So where I think this is going, I think we're quickly heading to an impasse. When you tell folks, and the U.S. is a democratic republic, when you tell folks they have a right to say what they want, they have a right to exercise their First Amendment, but then on the other hand, you try to censor them. Then when you tell Americans that your vote counts, then the people who are elected to the House of Representatives and to the Senate work for you, which is crap. Then you put yourself in a situation, or then you put the people of a country in a situation where you have two choices. Either the country is moving towards a more totalitarian type of government, which I think we're moving very quickly to, or there's a revolution. Now I know, oh Keith, what do you say revolution? Oh, taking up arms against our against the government, that sort of thing. I'm not necessarily saying that, but you can only push people so far. I'm not calling for an insurrection, I'm not calling for an armed insurrection, I'm just providing my opinion as expressed through an email that I receive. Something is going to have to give. And I don't see either party relinquishing what power they have or what power they perceive they have. Here's another example. It is a known fact that with the previous administration, millions of folks crossed the border, both the Mexican U.S. border and the Canadian U.S. border, illegally. That's a fact, cannot be disputed. It is also a fact that thousands of terrorists, many, many, many on the watch list, are already here in the United States. Not up for debate. It's an absolute fact. The previous administration and the current administration admit that. What I find very odd is that if you are anti-illegal immigration, you're a bigot, anti-whatever the word of the day is, but by expressing your First Amendment rights, by expressing your outrage, your dissatisfaction, whatever word you want to throw in, you are shouted down by others on the other side. You have people that are actively assaulting, doxing, and impeding federal law enforcement trying to do their job, trying to send criminal, illegal aliens back to their country of origin. These protests you see are not grassroots. They're not organic. I saw a video today, I believe a high school outside of Charlotte, several hundred students walked out and were chanting F iCE, F this. Teachers were videoing it, kids were videoing it, marching through the hallways, chanting through the hallways, and running out into the parking lot to protest ice. And let's be honest. No offense to the average middle school and high school kid, but they're stuck inside their phones 99% of the time. And unless someone tells them what to think, they have really no concept of what's going on with illegal immigration. These kids figured out they didn't have to go to math class or they didn't have to go to science class, and they could put something on TikTok. So they ran up and down the hallways chanting F ice and they got out of a period or two periods of class. That's all that mattered to them for the most part. Let's get into the main topic of tonight's podcast. And this has been going on for about three or four years now. So lately the media in a big chunk of society cannot stop talking about what they've termed or coined toxic masculinity. In my opinion, these people have it backwards, and they're getting the definition wrong as well. My definition, toxic masculinity is when men are pushed to bottle their emotions, dominate others, or measure worth by aggression like suppressing feelings, ignoring mental health, or thinking violence equals strength. That type of thought process, that type of behavior is harmful, and I'm not defending it in the slightest. But the media only shows the fuel-raged rants of these bad actors. They don't highlight the dad who is quietly paying for his neighbor's groceries, or the coach teaching his kids grace in defeat. That balanced, healthy side of masculinity, the part that protects and provides and leads without ego, never makes the highlight real. They don't define it, they just amplify the worst examples over and over. So tonight when I say quiet alpha or quiet alpha male, this is what I mean: the man or woman who leads without yelling, makes decisions without drama, and puts family first, whether that leader is the dad, the mom, the grandparent, or the single mom next door. Now, this episode isn't necessarily about politics. I'm not going to do any gear reviews, no sponsor reads. I'm going to provide five true stories of ordinary people who became the quiet alpha when everything went sideways. Alright, story number one. Sanibel Island dad. Hurricane Ian 2022. Wednesday morning, a cat three pointed straight at Sanibel Island. Neighbors on Facebook were arguing about plywood. This dad looks at his wife and says three words. We're leaving sunrise. He loaded three boxes, kids, dogs, and they got the heck out of there. They crossed the Sanibel Causeway at 6 02 a.m. At 10 14 a.m. That causeway or the bridge collapsed. He never raised his voice. Their house was destroyed. Their family is alive. That's how I define a quiet alpha. Story number two. I've talked about the Texas Freeze a couple times before. So the Texas Freeze Family Man, story number two. February 2021, nine days, no power, negative eight outside with the wind chill. This gentleman quietly invited two sets of neighbors over into his living room, fired up the propane cooker, and fed these folks and made sure they were taken care of. All told he fed about eleven people on the food that he had in his pantry. He wasn't necessarily a prepper, but he was prepared for a situation like this. He had food, long-term food storage, set aside. When the lights came back on, the neighbors asked what they owed him. And what do you think he said? He told these folks to pay it forward next time. Didn't want any money, no fanfare, probably got a handshake, pat on the back, and those neighbors will never forget his generosity. Story number three. Mom in Kentucky, 2022, flash flood. Water rose 12 feet in about 90 minutes. That's what a flash flood is. A mom with two little kids, husband at work. As the water rose, she put the kids on the counter with their 72-hour tote of food and supplies. They then climbed into the attic, pulled the ladder up, and texted that they were at their predetermined rally point. In case of a flash flood going into the attic was their rally point. National Guard found them exactly where they said they would be. About 28 hours later, they were rescued. The husband was not able to get to them. He was out of contact with them for quite a bit of that 28 hours. She was interviewed by a reporter and she said, I was scared to death. The quiet alpha does not require a Y chromosome. Story number four Colorado chainsaw neighbor, Marshall Fire 2021, winds at 105 miles an hour, fire jumping six lanes of interstate in a flash. Most people froze. This guy grabbed his chainsaw, cut the back fence to his property so three families could escape through a field. He saved nine adults, five kids, two dogs. He walked away from the news crews that were on site before they could get his name. Story number five, the one who waited. Tennessee 2021. Good guy, great gear, full pantry, two generators. But what he didn't write down is what I call the trigger. The set of circumstances that would happen that would initiate your response. He spent 20 minutes arguing with his wife about whether or not they should leave. In short order, the water went from ankle deep up to their waist in about 15 minutes. They lost everything and barely made it out alive. His exact words to the rescue crew was I had everything ready. I thought I was prepared. Generators, food, water, flashlights. He thought he was prepared. And in a sense, he was. He had everything except a plan. He had everything except a piece of paper. The trigger, the response, who takes what, and where do we go? The difference between having stuff and having a plan is very different. This is something that I'm gonna do this week. So here's your homework. Grab a sheet of paper, write down the trigger, the exact moment that you act. If this happens, this is what we're going to do. Number two, rolls. Who grabs what? Number three, the rally point. Where do we meet in the event we get separated? Now, a lot of people do that already, or you should. If you live with somebody else, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, kids, whatever. If more than one person lives in your home, you need to have a plan. For example, if you wake up in the middle of the night and the smoke detectors are going off and the house is on fire, most people would have a rally point. Let's meet out at the mailbox. If we have to exit through the rear of the house, we're gonna meet at the shed. If we get separated, go to the mailbox, go to the shed, and then we're gonna circle back and find out if in fact we did get split up, some at the shed, some at the mailbox, or God forbid, is somebody still inside. So I'm gonna take this piece of paper this week and I'm gonna describe and I'm gonna write out the trigger. Flash flood. So my triggers will be flash flood, like a serious snowstorm, like we're expecting two or three inches, and all of a sudden a nor'easter out of nowhere, and we get 12 inches of snow instead of two inches of snow. Then obviously go over the fire evacuation plan. All right, folks, as always, I appreciate everybody stopping by. I appreciate you listening to me rant, especially the first part. If you're here in the United States, I hope everybody has a happy Thanksgiving. Somebody asked me a long time ago if there were other countries that observe Thanksgiving. I kind of got a chuckle out of that. Just like somebody asked me a long time ago if the folks in Great Britain celebrate the 4th of July. I got a big kick out of that. But I hope everybody's doing well. The weather's gonna turn cold here on the East Coast, maybe a little bit of snow, definitely getting a lot of rain. But take the time and make a plan, write it down, make sure everybody knows what they're going to get, what they're going to grab, and what their roles are. For example, if your home consists of a mom and a dad and two kids, everybody has a role. Everybody needs to grab something, obviously, depending on the age of the children, but go a step further. If it's mom and the two kids and dad's at work or dad's out of town or dad's golfing and the trigger hits, well, dad's not there to grab the bug out bag. Dad's not there to grab the two five-gallon buckets of food. That has to be relegated to somebody else. Don't wait longer than you have to to put the plan into motion. Make sure that if somebody is not there, make sure you discuss what they're going to get in addition to what the plan has them removing from the home to bug out, let's say. So dad's not there, so who's going to grab the five-gallon bucket of food? Dad's not there. Who's going to grab the two one-gallon jugs of water? Well, maybe a kid grabs one and the other kid grabs the other, but remember, the children also have their own initial roles. So maybe each kid grabs their backpack, food, water, flashlight, whatever they have in their little mini go bag, they need to know to grab a gallon of water each. Again, folks, thanks for stopping by. If you want to reach out, practical prep podcast at gmail.com or on the Twitters, Common Sense Practical Prepper or Prep underscore Podcast. Alright, folks, as always, please take care of one another. Be careful out there, and until next time.

SPEAKER_01: 17:12

Thanks for listening to the Common Sense Practical Prepper Podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode. While you're at it, help spread the word by leaving a rating and review.