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Awakening Souls
Step into a world where magic meets meaning, and awakenings come alive. Join three professional intuitives as they weave their wisdom, insights, and guidance into conversations that will stir your soul and ignite your spirit. Together, they explore spirituality, intuitive gifts, personal growth, and the profound journey of self-discovery.
Each episode invites you to unlock your inner magic, embrace your authentic self, and step boldly onto your unique path. With heartfelt stories, transformational tools, and a sprinkle of the unexpected, there's no telling where these empowering and magical conversations might take you.
Are you ready to awaken to the extraordinary life you were meant to live? Your journey starts here. 🌟
Awakening Souls
Episode 89: Beyond Survival: Embracing the Shift to Higher Consciousness & Breaking Through Fear
What if embracing fear could be the key to unlocking personal growth and building deeper connections? In this episode of Awakening Souls, Candace and Rose dive into the transformative potential of fear in our lives. Rose shares a poignant personal story about overcoming her introverted nature to attend a neighborhood party solo, shedding light on the dance between fear and intuition. We also explore the insights from Rose's channeling session with the Akashic Records, revealing the profound shifts happening in our world today and how acknowledging our fears can lead to empowerment and community.
Our discussion journeys through the landscape of personal growth and the shift from 3D to 5D consciousness. Moving beyond mere survival, we focus on the importance of self-awareness and connecting with kindred spirits. We highlight the role of empaths, who often absorb the emotions of those around them, in maintaining sovereignty and understanding others' actions. By letting go of the urge to control others, we allow for personal transformation and foster an environment of mutual respect and freedom.
As we wrap up, we reflect on the beauty of life's unpredictability and the necessity of surrendering control. A horseback riding experience becomes a metaphor for this journey, teaching us to trust the process and embrace change with grace.
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Welcome back everybody to Awakening Souls. It's Candice here with Rose. It's just us. Today we're going to be speaking about an interesting channel that Rose did. I'm speaking on the topic of fear, which I think is always interesting when we're talking about fear, because fear is that one thing that we all have in common. We've all felt, we've all experienced and, most often, are trying to avoid experiencing. So, rose, I'd love for you to just jump on in and share that beautiful channel that you shared with me.
Speaker 2:All right. So in this channel I just asked for what we needed to talk about for the podcast today and I opened the Akashic Records. So that's where this came from. And at first they started talking about how this is a time of adjustments, right now that we're going through big shifts and big changes, and it's going to feel uncomfortable. And I'm okay with that because I know usually when you're on the other side of that, you are a different person and there's something to be gained and you've grown in some good way. But then they went into talking about fear and it was really interesting, because fear is, like Candice said, something that's uncomfortable. We try and avoid it.
Speaker 2:If we are going through a time or an experience of feeling fearful, you know, my go-to move has always been to just repress it and shove that right back down. And, you know, buck up and just do what needs doing. And sometimes, when I see fear in other people as well, you know I'll be like, oh, they're acting from a place of fear and it's like a judgment that I'm making on them, you know. And so I'm judging either myself or I'm judging other people for feeling that emotion of fear. And that's where the problem is because judging that fear, repressing that fear, is just trying to push it down and it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 2:So that fear just is going to be within me, it's going to fester and eventually it's going to come back up and resurface and I'm going to have to deal with it, because if you don't deal with it now, you're going to have to deal with it later. It doesn't go away. It needs to be acknowledged. So it reminds me of doing like inner child work or shadow work, where you have to look at and embrace the parts of yourself that maybe you don't want to look at. And that's how fear feels to me. So I have been in living in a new place. I did something that was really scary for me. Um, a couple of days ago I went to a neighborhood party.
Speaker 2:I know, and here's the thing, my husband is out of town at the moment. He's coming home later today, but he wasn't here. So I went all by myself to a neighborhood party in this new place, where I, you know, I'm starting to get to know a few people. But I knew, you know, not very many at the party. And so here I am and, oh my God, I had butterflies in the stomach. My heart was beating a little fast, you know, just because this is a new situation for me and you know, and it was, it was a lovely party, I had a good time, I enjoyed, you know, getting to meet new people, I enjoyed the conversations. You know, it was a beautiful fall evening, so all kinds of good things happened.
Speaker 2:But I acknowledged that fear within me and what I said is okay, fear, I feel you, I acknowledge you and it's okay for you to be there. We're going to do this anyway, but it's okay for you to be there. So it's like embracing that fear and honoring it as part of yourself, rather than just repressing it or, you know, making it, or allowing it to control you. Allowing it to control you, allowing it to say no, this makes me too uncomfortable, I'm not going to go to this event. I'm just going to stay home in my happy little comfort zone in my home with my cat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, you know this might not sound like a really big deal to people who are very extroverted and have no issue like showing up in the world and just meeting new people. But, rose, you consider yourself pretty introverted, absolutely. So you moving to a new place?
Speaker 1:you haven't even lived there yet Absolutely so you moving to a new place. You haven't even lived there yet for six months. This is a new state, this is a new home, new neighborhood, and you are alone, without your husband, like without your partner to comfort you, someone that you can talk to, and you went out on your own to a neighborhood party where there's so much opportunity for fear and for judgment and to to totally decide like, oh no, I'm going to go hide, I'm not going to go do this. But you took a huge leap of faith in yourself and you said I'm going to go do something that is really scary to me, but I'm going to go make the best out of it. That is it. I'm impressed. Good for you. Thanks, candice.
Speaker 2:I stayed there three hours, wow, oh, I thought that was pretty good and you know. And then I could just feel like I was starting to get a headache and the noise was starting to bother me and I thought, okay, you know what you've, you've done, your, your diligence. You're feeling like it's time to go home.
Speaker 1:Let's honor that feeling as well based in fear, or I'm making this decision because it's correct for me, and recently I was invited to do something that, to me, was outside of my comfort zone, and I kept feeling this fear pop in, and it took me a few days to to take the leap, but eventually I said yes, I want to do this thing Cause I had to look at the fear and go okay, am I making this decision to say no to this because I'm terrified of showing up, or am I making this decision out of something that's intuitive and I don't actually need to be there for this thing? Besides that point, what am I trying to ask? I'm just curious what made you decide to overcome the fear? Was it, what was your process or what was your thoughts?
Speaker 2:Well, part of it is I keep seeing things over and over again like on like little TV shows, or hearing them or reading them about community, that people need to be in community, and so part of me is like, okay, I'm in this new land and I need to be part of the community here, so I need to make the effort, I need to show up.
Speaker 2:You know, if I just hide in my house and don't talk to anybody, then you know I don't want to just completely isolate myself. I don't feel like that's healthy. I do like lots of alone time and like my husband's been gone for a week and oh, it's been awesome, you know, just to have the house all to myself, all quiet. Now I'm happy he's coming home today because I'm ready for him to come back into my world and I talk to him almost every day. But it's just, yeah, it's like I I know that I'm happier when I do have human connection on a regular basis and I can't expect my husband to be the only person in the world that that takes care of me or interacts with me or supports me. That's unfair to put that burden on him solely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I do feel that we need multiple different kinds of relationships to feel whole or to give that sense of like a well-rounded community. So, like your husband, my husband, he can't be everything for me, he can't be like, you know, my emotional safety, my, my adventure, my, you know, you know what I'm saying. He can't do it all. It's that is a lot to ask of one person to serve as everything and meet all of my needs. So by branching out and having more friends and other relationships, they can fulfill kind of those other needs that I have. You know, mm-hmm, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it gives you opportunity to help others when they need it Cute mug, by the way, squirrel it gives you the opportunity to help others. It gives you the opportunity to learn things from other people. So the more people you interact with, the more you're exposed to different ideas and different thoughts. And the other thing is the more you get to see how people tend to be more similar than different. You know, and if we stay in our own world where we're just, only, you know, focused on ourselves, those other people are scary. I don't know if that makes sense at all. It's like my mind wants to. I don't even know how to say this. Yeah, so my mind will go down a rabbit hole and it will be like oh, that person over there, they probably wouldn't like me, or that person over there wouldn't be interested in anything. I have to say it's like I project this worst case scenario on what I think, or I believe other people might be thinking.
Speaker 2:It's all a complete lie and falsehoods because, I don't have the actual experience to make that determination because I've actually never talked to them and I can spiral down really fast that way.
Speaker 1:So it's like putting your fears of what other people may think about you, which is typically what we're judging in ourselves. It's the things that we're suppressing, it's the shadow aspects of us that we don't want anyone else to see. It's the inner child wounds that we haven't fully gone back to heal and to reprogram, and so we project those onto other people, assuming that they're going to see those things that we don't want them to see in us and that they're going to reject us. And so we reject ourselves first and then. Don't put ourselves in situations where we can potentially receive rejection.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it gets quite lonely there Because you're stuck with you and all those thoughts that may or may not be true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's a rat hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't even give people the opportunity to see who you really are and to decide for themselves whether or not they're going to judge you or appreciate you and accept you.
Speaker 1:And you know, recently I heard from somebody that was watching that talks about anxiety, and I can't remember the person or his name or his company or anything, but he was like if you aren't being your full self and people are not rejecting you, then you're doing something wrong, Like you're not showing up, You're living in a cage, and that doesn't people most often want to feel freedom. And what does freedom mean? It means full expression of the self and full availability to do whatever it is with who you want and what you want and where you want. And if you're constantly putting yourself in a cage how and not expressing yourself as who you truly are well want and where you want, and if you're constantly putting yourself in a cage how and not expressing yourself as who you truly are, well then you're never even given the opportunity to do those things. You are putting the constraints on yourself. Yes, absolutely that makes complete sense.
Speaker 2:You know, sometimes it's like you feel like you're talking in circles.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but that's how it kind of works. Well, let's get into your channel then. That you did, okay.
Speaker 2:Let's see. Okay, do you want to read the whole thing, because that's kind of long and blah. Maybe just little snippets?
Speaker 1:well, you do we? I mean, I didn't think it took a long time.
Speaker 2:I've shared 10 minute channels before rose, okay okay, I'll read it and then you can feel free to cut anything you want to cut. How's that? Okay, okay, okay. So here is the channel that I received from the akashic records.
Speaker 2:This is a time of adjustments and alterations as to how humans approach life. The old ways are no longer working. For those moving into higher states of consciousness, the challenge is how to navigate the old earth systems and constructs while moving into a higher consciousness state of being. The trick is to adopt a state of detachment while using discernment. You can no longer live within the vibration of fear while raising personal consciousness.
Speaker 2:The key is to witness actions and words that originate in fear and scarcity from yourself or others. Witness, but do not judge. Judgment assumes that the fear is unfounded or a mistake. However, by suppressing those thoughts and feelings, they are allowed to remain below the surface and will continue to fester and eventually return to continue their expression until they are acknowledged and processed.
Speaker 2:Rather, see fear as an indicator of a vibration within one small part of the totality of you. When ignored, it will get louder and louder and may overrun all the other aspects within you. So when you see it within yourself wanting to rise up, allow it and ask what is the root of this fear? Why am I feeling fearful? How did I come to feel this way? Give yourself permission to be fearful and hold space for that vibration. Then decide how best to move forward. By intentionally working with fear, you no longer will be dominated by it. It will lessen its grip on your, allowing for all of the other vibrations within you to express more fully. The goal is not to have challenging vibrations or emotions. They're part of the human makeup and serve important purposes. The goal is to flow with a multitude of vibrations to fully express a dynamic version of you, allowing for all parts to be expressed and acknowledged. So, yes, as people are adjusting, it may be uncomfortable, but in the end you will have a more alive and fully developed self in a beautiful way.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. So it sounds a little bit like. The message is you can't eliminate all of the aspects that are lower vibrational, or the aspect of fear completely. It's more about looking into the fear and allowing yourself to visit with it and to heal it if it needs healing, or at least acknowledge it and sit with it in order for it to lift and so that you are creating more room and space for some of those higher emotions to come in. Yeah, fear will definitely take control if you let it. And I think suppression of fear not really looking at where the real fear is coming from, because fear is probably hiding the emotion that you don't want to feel and by suppressing it it does tend to just override all of your systems, and then you make all of your decisions based out of fear rather than based out of something that feels aligned or heart-centered or authentic to you feels aligned or heart centered or authentic to you Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And I mean, when we get into spirituality, you know we're always, you know, love and light and raising your vibration and that's good. But you have to have the balance of those lower vibrations and allow for those two and acknowledge them too. That's how you continue to grow. Yeah, I mean, and we've talked about that spiritual toxicity, where it's all love and light and you know, bad things aren't allowed, but that's denying part of the human experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, one thing that you were saying in your channel old, we're clearing old earth systems and constructs. I don't know if you have more that you want to elaborate on that. As Rose, I know that you were channeling that through the Akashic records, but right. Right Like. What does that mean?
Speaker 2:How to navigate the old earth system and constructs while moving into a higher consciousness state of being. Okay, so, when I look at that sentence, the intuitive messages that I'm seeing is I'm seeing that, um, there are so many people in so many different states of vibration and we're kind of all over the place right now, and there's some people that are really very focused on trying to, you know, ascend, trying to raise their consciousness, trying to expand their energy in a positive way, but, but, not everybody's there, yeah, and so you know, it's like, do we fall into the trap that religion fell into, whereas we need to convert everybody to our own way of thinking? And no, we don't. What we need to do is work on our own individual paths, connect with people that are like-minded and help love and support one another as we grow, that are like-minded and help love and support one another as we grow.
Speaker 2:But, as you see, others still caught in those old systems, those old belief patterns. They're choosing that and there's probably some divine reason behind it and we just need to let that be. And so that's where the don't judge comes in. It's really detached. Pull yourself back a little bit from that. Use discernment. Is this something I really need to put my energy into, or can I just, you know, move on with my life and let that go and and continue to focus on yourself and the people that that want to work with you to continue on your journey?
Speaker 1:yeah, I hear this is like the debate between the 3d to 5d kind of thing right.
Speaker 1:Like we're living in 3d, we're trying to move, to fight.
Speaker 1:I I've never channeled on this specifically and you know a lot of the spiritual new age beliefs that and and information and education that's circling around through social media and stuff I don't necessarily vibe with or agree with, and I think one of those constructs of the 3D to 5D it might be something that is happening, but I think that there's a misunderstanding that we need to take all of the earth or all the people on the earth and drag them into the 5D, because we as earth needs needs to ascend to survive and I think that's that's coming from a place of fear. If that's your thought, because it is not about dragging people with you to 5d, you know it's about your individual growth, your individual process and I think, as we're on the topic of fear, if you're looking into your fears and you're healing them and you're letting them go and you're doing that inner work, you have such a higher perspective. When other people are acting from a place of fear, you can see that without judgment and you can acknowledge oh, I see where they're coming from here. I can see the pattern that they're playing out. I can see the wound that they're acting from, but I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm not feeling like I need to be dragged into it with them, into that emotion of fear, and it's like you take this higher perspective of this overall like view of what is really going on and that's your personal journey and then you can decide what you do with that. Do you keep engaging in that relationship with somebody who is acting out of fear? Is that right for you, or do you separate yourself, or even do you lend them a helping hand? Yeah, so I think, as we move into this concept of 3D to 5D right, that's an individual journey that is happening and once you work on those inner wounds of the fear, you have that ability to see, from a higher perspective, everyone else's fear and where they're acting from.
Speaker 2:To sum up what I said Absolutely, yeah, it's like we're we're all wanting sovereignty. We are all wanting the freedom to be exactly who we are, be able to make our own choices, live our own life. Well, that's what we want for us. We can't take that away from others. Yeah, that's a little hypocritical. Yeah, so it's like we have to allow each person their unique journey and let them navigate their own ship.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah Boy.
Speaker 2:And that's it, oh, my.
Speaker 1:God the surrender and letting go.
Speaker 2:You have to do of controlling other people, no, trying to control the outcome Right and that's, you know, easier to do with people that you're not closely connected to, but when that comes to close relationships, that can be really really hard to do. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because it's going to impact you, especially when you're in like partnership relationships so I'm talking like best friends or coworkers, business partners, romantic partners, I mean there's going to be a separation in the way that you think, in the way that you're growing, and I think that, especially in relationships, intimate relationships, it becomes really, really, really challenging to say, okay, this is my path, this is where I'm going, I can see what's happening over here, I'm going to let you do your thing, because your thing will affect my thing and because we are in a relationship where we're co-creating together and that could be a that could be hard, so hard. I think that's one of the biggest challenges I have in being in relationships is not trying to control where the other person goes on their path, but allowing them to have their path and to learn their lessons and to have their struggles without feeling like I need to intervene or interfere with that.
Speaker 2:Wow yeah, and I mean that's hard as an empath when you're feeling every emotion that they're feeling and you're knee deep in their stuff. Could you just get your shit together so I don't have to feel it anymore.
Speaker 1:Right because this isn't really nice or kind. If they're struggling with an emotion, they're struggling with fear, they're struggling with shame or guilt or you know, and that's feeding, that's pulling on my wounds, right, if it's affecting me, it's because there are still wounds in me that are that those emotions need to come up and be looked at. So you know, that's one thing I'm learning in my relationships is that when I'm noticing that I dive into an emotion with them, it's because they're pulling, they're triggering an emotion in me that still needs some healing. And when you do heal it, it becomes easier than to have that higher perspective and be like oh, I can sit at the top of this and look at you and sit with you while you're in those emotions, without being pulled into those emotions and having them with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you can have sympathy and you don't have to judge, because you've been there before and you understand where they're coming from.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so using it as a benefit rather than oh, and the same goes with fear yeah when fear right.
Speaker 1:If you're feeling fear in a relationship with somebody or in that conversation with somebody, or or fear because their beliefs are different or you know, it's because there's still fear that you need to go look at that, you need to go sit with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're a mirror for each other.
Speaker 1:Exactly yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sometimes you don't like looking in the mirror.
Speaker 1:No, that is because it's so uncomfortable and so vulnerable and it brings up shame. That can be hard looking at those things, yes. It is a form of protection, to like to judge right, to be like oh, that's your shit, that's your shit, you know.
Speaker 2:And I'm with me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, unsubscribe.
Speaker 2:You know like I don't want any part of that, but but yeah, yeah absolutely, yeah, I always used to have the idea is when I'm fully spiritually awakened and fully conscious that, you know, I just be walking on clouds and sunshine all the time and be like, oh, and you know, nothing would trip me up and I just be able to love everybody unconditionally, no matter what they were putting out in the world. I don't know that that's a very realistic view or accurate view of what raising your consciousness looks like. I agree, yeah, you know what's funny is?
Speaker 1:I've been thinking a lot lately about Jesus, lately about Jesus and and my, you know religious teachings holds him on a pedestal and he was this just God-like man.
Speaker 1:We should all be exactly the way he was and follow, you know, in his footsteps. But I keep thinking back to like he was human. He was a human. There was no way he didn't struggle with real human emotions, including anger and fear and guilt and resentment, like I keep thinking, or maybe there's this idea that like, yeah, once we reach that enlightened state that we're above all of those low vibrational feelings but perhaps, maybe it's we need to be looking at this differently and it's more about allowing all of those feelings to come in, without ignoring or suppression or judgment of them, about having that full human experience. And my, my gut tells me Jesus did experience all of those feelings. Any ascended master that was human, that lived here on earth, they had to go through those processes too of experiencing all of those low vibrational. I'm quoting that low vibrational because I don't think I think all of those low vibrational. I'm quoting that low vibrational because I don't think. I think when we say low vibrational, we think negative and bad and we need to stay away from it.
Speaker 1:Right, it's just it's a different tune, song in the song, yeah, just just a different note. But yeah, I think that, um, we need to let go of this idea that we we have to have this higher state of being and always be in these levity emotions and of joy and like God-like and never experience those real feelings, those real heavy emotions that are inevitably going to come up. And you spoke about in your channel how suppressing thoughts of fear will only make it want to express itself even louder. Yeah, it's not going anywhere. It's not, it's not going anywhere. Yeah, I wish I really I truly do wish that if I had an emotion I could be like ah, screw you, you don't get to come in here and play and like, kick it out, but it's a part of you, it's an aspect of you, it's not going to go away.
Speaker 2:No, no, and it's an indicator. I think you know, other than looking at it as the bad guy, looking at it it's just an indicator that there's something that needs to be looked at is is a healthier way of looking at it. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Did I make sense of that Jesus tangent?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I um, I'm going to put this in the podcast, but I left. I listened to that, that podcast. You guys recommended RJ spin, a guy. I listened to some more work of his, some other podcasts and I really liked him. So I bought his book, oh and and so and he said on I don't know one of the podcasts he's like don't just read it. He's like get the audible and listen to it.
Speaker 2:He goes, there's healing in the vibration of my voice. Oh, so I did. I bought both copies and it was only like $7 more to buy the audible, so it really wasn't a huge investment. Part of me was like oh yeah, you want us to buy both.
Speaker 1:Of course you do. Yep, that's the same thing, cause I heard him say that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the cynical part of me is like uh-huh, sure, uh-huh, yep, caching, yep, sure, uh-huh, yep, ka-ching yep. But I'm listening to, but I've listened. I started reading it and then I'm like, no, I need to listen to it. And as I'm listening to it, I'm feeling it impact my vibration and like my chakras all just opened, wide up and started it. Just I just like laying on the couch listening to it, feeling wonderful and vibrating so strongly, and then that was like a couple of days ago and like yesterday I couldn't look at it at all. It's like I need time to assimilate the section that I read before I can dump more into the system.
Speaker 1:I hate books like that into the system. I hate books like that. I process things. I know it's taken me forever to get through, because I I'll get through a page or a paragraph and I'm like I need to digest. I need to digest everything. I just read.
Speaker 2:And, like for the next 24 hours, I was feeling the words and thinking about the ideas and, and you know, every time I tapped back into the energy of the book, my energy just poofed wide open again. So I can feel that it's like making alterations. So I'm enjoying it. What's the book?
Speaker 1:called. Do you remember it's our? I forget his name, rj.
Speaker 2:He's got three different books, so let me look it up and make sure I give you the one that he's actually got. A fourth one, okay, access, super consciousness. Oh yes, and there's two more before that, but I haven't read those. I just thought I'd start with this one and I like those. I might go back and read the others, I might not, you never know but but yeah, it's fun. This book is making me feel high. I love it. Okay, let's get back to fear. Okay, let's get back to fear. Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2:I think we've kind of hit everything we talked about, okay, the world changing we were on suppressing it don't suppress, they'll talk louder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but maybe we should talk a little bit. You know, there's this um, it's hard for people to know how to get to a feeling and to work their way through it and to find your root or why and hold space for it. That's a, that's a challenge. That is something that has taken me a long time to kind of learn how how to do.
Speaker 2:Years ago I read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh and I don't remember the name of it because he's got a few of them and one of the biggest things I got from that book is, when you have an emotion, just state that that emotion is within you and then just sit with it.
Speaker 2:So the first thing, like before I went to the party and I was feeling the butterflies in the stomach, I was like I have fear within me right now and I would just say that a few times, it was like I was giving myself permission to have that feel, feeling and not um, and allow it and acknowledge it and give it permission to be there. And so then, after a few times of saying I have fear within me right now, and then I would like feel how that felt in my body. So I'm like where is the feeling located? And it was in my gut and my stomach, cause that's where all the butterflies were and my heart was a little bit, you know a little bit there too, but mostly in my gut area. And so I'm like, okay, that's where, where it's living in my body right now, and just sending it some love and saying fear, it's okay for you to be there. You know I, you know I'm sending you some love. We'll get through this together, kind of I'm sending you some love.
Speaker 1:We'll get through this together kind of.
Speaker 2:And then, after that, then I started asking myself what am I really afraid of? And it was, of course, that fear of rejection, the fear of making a social blunder, you know, of not knowing the appropriate way to behave and being, you know, rejected or or hurting other people's feelings, you know, saying the wrong thing, that could, you know, upset somebody. And and then I asked myself okay, are these, you know, realistic fears? Do I normally go into social situations and piss people off? No, I really don't. Usually I'm pretty quiet until I kind of get the lay of the land. I try usually to be very considerate of others and I try and be a good listener and, you know, ask questions about people that they'll be comfortable asking. So I'm like, so I'm probably not going to go there and, you know, make a huge social blunder. And if I do, that's okay too. You know, I don't have to be perfect. So it's that perfectionism that's in there too. So it's like recognizing all the little parts of me that are at play that are causing this fear, you know. And the questions that they said um, what did they say? Oh, here we go. What is the root of this fear? Why am I having this fear. How did I come to feel this way? So understanding you know why.
Speaker 2:And, boy, when I was a kid, I hated school, hated school, and I was on sensory overload at school. Didn't know it at the time, but it was like my sensory overload stuff was just off the charts and I didn't know how to manage that. And school was a social place wild stuff, with me being in my mid fifties. And so you know, now I know how to take care of my sensory needs. I knew when I was getting a headache, oh, that's my body saying it's had enough of this sensory stuff and it's time for me to go home. And I went home and you know it was just fine.
Speaker 2:So it was like trying to understand what I'm afraid of and then thinking, okay, how can I handle that? So, all of a sudden, now, instead of just going into a situation blind, I'm going into the situation. I've got a plan of how to take care of myself and I have a plan as to what's right for me, what I can handle, and you know what my boundaries are. And so once I had that plan of, well, you can go home if you get overwhelmed, or you know, you don't have to stay forever, you know. Then all of a sudden I'm like, okay, well then maybe I can do this. So it's like talking yourself down off a ledge, almost.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but. But the first thing you did was like, Ooh, I, sometimes it's hard to even recognize that there's a feeling there, cause we're so used to ignoring the feelings and just going about our day and pushing through. So you have to have that quick awareness like, ooh, ooh, there's fear here. Okay, I'm going to give myself time and space to feel this emotion of fear and sit with it. Okay, I'm noticing it's in my tummy, I'm. And then you're letting yourself feel the emotion first before you move into. How do I logically take care of this? Like, how am I going to rationalize this? Because we can't rationalize a feeling. Yeah, it's not something our brain will do.
Speaker 1:If you've listened to any of our podcast episodes with Kate Collins, the neuro-emotional coach, you have to work through the emotion first, have the emotion first, you know, like, let yourself sit with it, feel it fully through, and then you can start to rationalize or logically explain and move into higher, higher states of the brain that can help you do that. And so what you did was you went okay, I'm noticing this feeling, I'm feeling it. Oof, there it is. And then you start to move through the emotion. You're like oh, I know where this is coming from. I have a memory, and when I was a kid I'm being reminded of this Now, am I ever going to go into a situation? And, like you know, I don't. I don't do that. I don't go into a situation, a social situation, and then make a fool out of myself. That's not my history. So an irrational fear. And then and then, from what I'm hearing is that you were starting to let that go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yep, so you didn't let the fear control you. It didn't control you while you're at the party. No, no.
Speaker 2:Like when I was by the time I was going to the party and like getting out of my car and walking up to the house. At that point I wasn't fearful anymore.
Speaker 2:I had a little bit of anxiety but it was just such a small amount and I'm like, okay, this we can push through. And then, you know, within like three steps of getting out of my car, the host came up and started greeting me and welcoming me and I'm so glad you're here and just made me feel so welcome and it was, you know took me around and showed me everything and yeah. So, and by the time I got to where there were a group of people, I was fine and you felt comfortable. I felt comfortable. I met some really nice people. I met some neighbors. I met one couple that lives right across the street from me that I hadn't met yet. So that was really nice. So, yeah, yeah, it was a good thing.
Speaker 1:I wonder um, I've been in many social situations where I've let the fear be the driver. You know the fear, the anxiety, and I've always played really small and I've, like you know, went inward and kept myself close to a wall and didn't talk to anyone and, you know, put like, please don't see me, please don't see me, don't talk to me. And you know what. You create environments and situations where people no longer see you or talk to you, or, and then it ends up being like you create your biggest fear. And the biggest fear going into a social situation is I'm going to be rejected or judged or not liked, or no one's going to talk to me. And because I let my fear control me, I created exactly that scenario that I was trying to avoid. So by visiting the fear, like you have working through that, you already let so much of that go that you were open when you arrived, and so the energetics of it changed, cause if you went into that feeling, all that fear, and shut down, you may not have had the same experience.
Speaker 2:Right, Right. It's like you're putting up walls of fear.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's your own prison that you're making.
Speaker 1:Yes, your own prison. Oh God, if I knew this in high school, things would have been so different, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes, I totally didn't want to be seen in high school, though I did have a group of core friends that I was more myself with, which was really nice, but most of the time I was doing that, I was sitting in the back of the classroom scrunching down, trying not to be seen. Yeah, yeah, I did doing that. I was sitting in the back of the classroom scrunching down trying not to be seen.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah, I did all that through high school, through college, through my most of my twenties. I swear there's something about your thirties right when you just have like so much more wisdom, so much more wisdom.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think that is something that making this podcast, we have to work through too, oh God, yeah, cause sometimes we'll get on and none of us are really feeling like putting ourselves out there and being seen just from whatever's going on in our life or just how we woke up that morning, and so this is good for us to have to on a regular basis.
Speaker 1:Put yourself out there, put yourself out there, yeah, yeah. But it's not put yourself out there Like we can't fight against the fear and put ourselves out there Right, like we have to visit with that fear first and we're, and it's a process. It's not something that as quick as what you did before a party. Sometimes it's a process that you have to go back to and revisit over and over and over again in different situations and once you heal a piece of it, sometimes then a new right. We talked about the spiral curriculum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that channel a long time ago it'll come around again for a new level of healing and a new level of understanding and wisdom that comes with it. Yeah, it's always a process.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's some things in life that I've been fearful of and I haven't been able to work through the fear to let it go, and so I just am like, okay, you know, like, for example, last time I had surgery, oh God, you know, I was afraid because it was surgery. Yeah, you know, and there's all kinds of scary things. You know, just going into the energy of the hospital alone is, you know, enough to make me uncomfortable. So, you know, and in that instance it's like I have fear in me now and it's okay, I can see why I'm afraid. Oh, oh, yes, I'm going to allow that feeling to be here and I'm going to ask for support. I'll be. Will you come with me? Please hold my hand, and you know, and that's okay to just allow it to be and know that it's probably going to be okay, but I'm going to just, you know, keep doing what I need to do.
Speaker 1:Well, because fear is there to protect you. And when you're especially I mean there's going to be all sorts of situations, but especially when you're going into surgery that's terrifying because your life is not in your hands, it's in somebody else's hands. There is no control there, so that would be frightening, but I love that. It's oh. I forgive myself for having these feelings. It's okay, Of course you have these feelings, Rose. This is an understandable situation to be feeling fear. How can I set myself up with support so I can at least feel comfortable?
Speaker 2:Right, Right. What can I put in place to to make it the best possible as I can? Boy, that sounded crappy. Oh goodness gracious.
Speaker 1:Do you want to try it again?
Speaker 2:Yeah, how can I say that so it doesn't sound crappy? That's the, that's the key. No, yeah. So how can I set myself up for success? How can I be an advocate for myself? How can I support myself in the best way possible? So I acknowledge that fear, but it doesn't control everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, it takes somebody who really knows themselves and has had to sit in in hard emotions before and has done some introspection, to even voice what you need in those kinds of situations To be an advocate for yourself. That takes time to get to know who you are and what you want and what your needs are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and you know, as a kid I was never taught to pay attention to what I need.
Speaker 1:What kid is I mean seriously in our generations and up like it. It is the generations now who are going through this, like millennials, who were learning this stuff and having to teach the younger generations in hopes that they will have more self-awareness and autonomy.
Speaker 2:What do you need? So you can ask for it, yeah, but if you've always been taught to put your needs last and that they don't matter, then that's a skill you've got to acquire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. It's really hard to teach yourself something that you didn't have a model, you didn't have modeled for you as a young kid yeah. Empathy there, empathy for everyone who's doing that work, teaching yourselves how to do this. Yeah, hope you're setting yourself up with the correct support though the right systems, the right friendships, right relationships, the right mentors Yep, that is all I had know. End of statement.
Speaker 2:Yep, okay, cool okay, yeah, I feel like everything in the channel, we've pretty much discussed yeah, oh, I wrote down twice.
Speaker 1:I wrote shifts uh in systems and then I wrote down again big shifts, uh and adjustments why do you think that is resonating with you?
Speaker 1:so much, because my life is always shifting and changing and I'm so done. I'm so done with shifts and change. I can't stop. Sometimes I feel like I'm just on this rollercoaster of life and I only have so much real control, and that control is how I'm going to respond and react to this rollercoaster that I'm inevitably on and can't get off of. Like somebody else has the steering wheel, I'm just trying to figure out how to best manage through it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, do you feel like you're just hanging on for dear life?
Speaker 1:I think I'm doing a fine job. I don't think I'm hanging on for dear life. I don't have any control and I'm just. You know, I'm having this like vision of me on the back of a rollercoaster, hanging onto the back with, like, my feet flopping in the wind.
Speaker 2:That's what I was seeing in my mind. I do no.
Speaker 1:I'm in the roller coaster, safely, secure, but like I have to be prepared for every, every quick turn or flip upside down, and that I mean I'm really done, I'd like to be really done with it. You know, I if I'm reflecting on my life when I was a kid, I had zero control and I was. I was on that tail end with my legs flapping in the wind, praying that somebody would come save me.
Speaker 1:And this era of my life, I feel like I have a little bit more control, because the control I do have is over how I feel, how I'm responding, which direction I take when these turns, you know, come up when shifts and changes do happen. But it's not fun by any means Like, and I think that's just life. I think that's how life works. I don't know that there's ever going to be 100% control that I'm going to have in my direction and everything that happens, and maybe that's a limiting belief that I need to work through potentially. But I also feel that there's there's a um, an element of surrender that I have to keep doing, like I have to keep once you think you surrendered this is something from Gabby Bernstein Once you think you've surrendered, surrender more.
Speaker 1:And that's kind of where I feel like I'm at, like, ooh, okay, another surrender, another surrender, yeah, yeah. So these shifts and changes I mean what we've said. You know, the past year and a half has been nothing but transitions for me, transition after transition, loss, grief. You know, there's just been a lot, a lot of things that have kind of happened in my world.
Speaker 1:I had me and Jennifer went horseback riding my first time ever, going horseback riding the other day, which was so exciting for me, never done anything like that. It was so beautiful and, oh my God, there was so much trust that you have to have in the horse that you're riding. And the more I tried to control the horse, the less she wanted to listen to me and eventually I was like, okay, I just have to just totally trust this horsey and let her take me. The total same analogy, right. Let her take me on this beautiful ride where I get to enjoy the scenery and stop trying to control her. I mean, she's been on this ride a million times. She knows, she knows the path, she's doing her job exactly the way she should. It's me who needs to let go a little bit and surrender, and once I did, I had a fabulous ride, but in that, in that experience that we had, it was like the horseback riding and we got to go have tarot card readings with somebody else oh my gosh, what a fun day.
Speaker 1:It was fun. Um, and this woman, she did a nice little tarot card reading for me and she was like the first two cards she pulled was like oof, you've had the rug pulled out from underneath you.
Speaker 2:I'm like you're telling me like how many times too many to count.
Speaker 1:And then the rest of the cards were like you're over it, like it's finally done, all of this transition and shifts and hard things, like we're finally moving past it and we're moving into some things that feel really abundant and fun, and there's partnership involved. And I kept like looking at Jennifer like she doesn't even know who she's talking about. So that was really comforting to have somebody who doesn't know that I do this work. Yeah, you know, be able to give me a reflection like that, like girl, I see you, you have been through the ringer. You know so much transition and change and it feels like you can't control it, but we're finally moving past that stage and now there's going to be some I don't know climbing of stairs. You know, like in a, in a positive way.
Speaker 2:Nice, yeah, nice yeah, that would be so good. Yeah, it is fun to get readings from people that don't know anything about you, because yeah.
Speaker 1:They have a total, unbiased perspective when they're reading yeah, which is really.
Speaker 2:yeah, it's nice. So you know, everything that's coming through is unfiltered.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yeah, but I think that's why the channel that you did with the old systems changing and you know adjustments, I was like, oh boy, does that resonate with me. Been there, been there. Yeah, I'm craving some, some fun in my life, some levity, some joy, some excitement and adventure. Life's been really serious lately.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, with everything you've been through, that would be really good for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there's also like I can't wait for it to happen, just wait for those moments or opportunities to arise. I have to do things in my control right now to create levity and fun and adventure. And going on a horseback riding little adventure yeah, I think that was me taking some control in that too.
Speaker 2:Saying yes to that Nice oh that sounds like all kinds of fun.
Speaker 1:It was, it was pretty. We thought about you.
Speaker 2:Oh, was that the post that you put up?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I couldn't bring my phone with me. I so badly wanted to like take pictures with the horses and, but when you're on the trail, your phone just right out of your back pocket oh other pockets to put it in. So yeah, they recommended that you, yeah, not bring it with. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I could see how that could be very distracting for for the rider as well as for the people yeah, they basically said that, like you're going to lose things on the trail and you're not going to be able to go back and go get it because it's going to be dark by the time we get home, oh so don't take anything.
Speaker 2:You are not afraid to lose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, that's good. At least you were warned. Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 1:That was a good conversation, Rose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we did great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh it was fun. Yeah, it's almost. It's been over an hour or so.
Speaker 1:All right, should we wrap her up? Okay, okay, man, what a wonderful conversation. I certainly hope that this was insightful for all of you listening. I particularly had fun exploring a very difficult topic of fear. Leave it to me to have fun in the deep, heavy, hard stuff. All right, if you liked this episode, it would be so much appreciated if you would like and leave a positive comment or positive review. That really helps other people find our show and expand our reach.
Speaker 1:If you want to hang out sometime no, I'm just kidding you can find us on social media, at on Instagram at awakenings. Nope, nope, nope. Give me a second. Thank you for joining us today on this episode. I certainly hope that it was enjoyable and insightful for you. Don't forget to leave us a positive review. Share this with somebody you know that might benefit from this conversation, and you can follow us on Instagram at awakening souls podcast, and if you want to share insights, stories or questions, you can email us at R O U R, awakening souls at gmailcom, and we will see you all next time. Bye, gmailcom, and we will see you all next time.
Speaker 2:Bye, it was a little sticky, but I got through it I think it'll be fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay oh, stop recording. I feel like this is gonna be such an easy edit.
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