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Awakening Souls
Step into a world where magic meets meaning, and awakenings come alive. Join three professional intuitives as they weave their wisdom, insights, and guidance into conversations that will stir your soul and ignite your spirit. Together, they explore spirituality, intuitive gifts, personal growth, and the profound journey of self-discovery.
Each episode invites you to unlock your inner magic, embrace your authentic self, and step boldly onto your unique path. With heartfelt stories, transformational tools, and a sprinkle of the unexpected, there's no telling where these empowering and magical conversations might take you.
Are you ready to awaken to the extraordinary life you were meant to live? Your journey starts here. 🌟
Awakening Souls
Episode 91: Embracing Your Inner Shadows: Transforming Darkness into Light
Step into the hidden realms of your soul in this episode of *Awakening Souls*. Have you ever wondered what fuels your emotional reactions or why certain patterns keep resurfacing in your life? We dive into the transformative world of shadow work, where we face our buried selves with compassion and unlock powerful paths to self-discovery and healing.
Learn to recognize emotional triggers as gateways for growth, hear stories of unspoken expectations in relationships, and explore practical tools to navigate the shadow within. We discuss how tools like Reiki, therapy, and journaling can help you integrate all aspects of who you are—without judgment. Embrace this journey as an act of self-love, guiding you toward a life that resonates with your soul’s deepest desires.
Reference Links
TBM: To Be Magnetic by Lacey Phillips
Book By RJ Spina: Access Super Consciousness
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https://www.patreon.com/c/AwakeningSoulsPodcast
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Welcome to Awakening Souls a spiritual podcast for the mystics, magical thinkers, sensitives and spiritual seekers.
Speaker 1:We are here to explore all things spiritual, from navigating your awakening, developing your psychic gifts and so much more.
Speaker 2:Together with our combined experiences, we hope to help guide you on your path to reconnecting with your soul and the beautiful life that comes after.
Speaker 1:So come join us on the magical journey of exploring your Awakening Souls.
Speaker 2:Hello and welcome back to another episode of Awakening Souls.
Speaker 2:So today we are taking a deep dive into the topic that many of us feel curious about but maybe a little nervous, and this is something we have certainly talked about a lot on the show. But we're going to really get into the messy details of what this is. So today's topic is shadow work. This journey into our inner shadows is often messy, and it reveals parts of ourselves that we most likely have ignored and resisted and are even fearful of. But shadow work is truly a profound path to self-discovery, to growth, to healing, and it invites us to integrate all those hidden parts of ourselves, helping us live more authentically and more empowered. So explore with us as we dive into this wonderful world of shadow work, what it really means, why it's so transformative and how you can begin this journey in a way that feels safe and supportive. Whether you're just getting started into the deep depths of the shadows or this is something you've been doing for a long time, we'll share insights, stories and tools to give you guidance along the way. Let's dive in.
Speaker 3:So the first question is what is shadow work?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what is shadow work? That was always something that I was so confused about when I was going through my awakening Like I kept hearing shadow work, do shadow work. I'm like what is it? Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know that I've heard a really good educational explanation for what shadow work really is it is. It is kind of a abstract concept and if you've never heard about it before or you've never had someone guide you through it before, it's really hard to understand. But shadow work is the process of exploring hidden parts of yourself, parts of yourself that you have felt shame around or embarrassment around, parts of yourself that unconsciously you have disowned or disassociated from. And these could be parts of you that didn't feel safe when you were young to be expressed, or you were told from your environment that it wasn't safe to be this way or show this part of yourself. And so what happens, unconsciously, is we take those experiences or those parts of ourselves and we cast them into the shadows, we throw them away, we disown them, we disassociate from them and we pretend that they don't exist. And those could also be past traumas, even that we separate ourselves from.
Speaker 1:So I have a question though, like how do you know when shadows are coming up? Like for me? I'm a very surface level person, I don't go deep, so I don't really know when a shadow is coming up. How would you describe to someone?
Speaker 2:So everybody has shadow work to do.
Speaker 2:Everybody has shadows, because when we are children, that's when these are like the most formative years of our life and where we are observing and watching and seeing what is lovable about us, seeing what is acceptable about us, what's okay to show, what's okay to do or act or how to think, and the parts of us that we don't feel safe doing that doesn't feel okay, those are the parts of us that we go oh, closing that door, I don't want to show that anymore. So the way that will show up is in adulthood or even your teen years, but as you get older, those parts of us, kind of like, beg to be seen, they beg to be looked at because they're. In what ways, though? So they will come up as triggers. Okay, these are the intense emotional triggers that we will have about things that we don't necessarily understand. So when you are feeling triggered, when there's an emotional intensity behind something, when you have a reaction that is emotionally charged, that is a very good indicator that that is a shadow aspect of yourself that you are denying. Okay.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you, I needed that. Yeah, yeah, just this morning I was triggered. Should I go into it? Do you want to? I can, yeah, yeah, just this morning I was triggered. Should I go into it? Do you want to? I can, yeah, yeah, go ahead, and it's so. I I haven't looked into it.
Speaker 1:I don't know where the trigger is coming from, but we had our granddaughter stay for the weekend and I got everything ready. I got out the pack and play, I got out all her toys, I baby proved everything. And then this morning I got the pack and play and I took it all apart, or at least I unmade the bed and I kind of put, placed it in the middle of the room, right next to where my husband's side of the bed is, so that he could fold it up and put it away. He walked past it several times this morning, didn't ask, didn't, didn't, didn't offer, didn't do anything with it, just left it sitting there in the middle of the room, and I was very triggered. I was like I kept going in my head Like why did he do that? I do everything, I got everything ready. Why did he walk past that thing? It really pissed me off and I couldn't let it go, but I had to keep talking to myself.
Speaker 1:He goes to work six days a week. He's, he's working hard for me. Why am I feeling this way? I shouldn't feel this way. What's the point? I could just put away that pack and play. It's not that hard. So tell me, was I triggered?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, yes, so you were triggered by something, but there was also there's a lot going on here. There was an expectation for him to do something, but you didn't communicate your needs or your expectations. So I figured putting that in the middle of the room was like a silent way of saying that's a passive aggressive way. Was it a passive aggressive way? It is passive aggressive.
Speaker 1:How is it passive?
Speaker 2:aggressive Because you're doing it. You're putting it in the middle of the room so he has to trip over it, and that's a passive thing to do, but your intention is like I want you to put this away, I want you to see it.
Speaker 1:I want you to see it. But I'm not going to communicate to you my thoughts or my ideas or what I need I would have. But I honestly just it went out of my head but I really was like, why didn't I say something? I could have said something, yeah, so that did actually go through my head too, but I didn't mean it to. But, anyway, go on. Well, passive aggressive is usually looks really passive.
Speaker 2:The other things that are going on is. You then went into a spiral.
Speaker 2:You realized you were having feelings but, you didn't dig into the feelings, you didn't look at the feelings, you immediately jumped over the feelings and you tried to logically explain to yourself why you shouldn't have the feelings.
Speaker 2:So then you shamed yourself and made yourself feel bad and beat yourself up over having legitimate feelings. Yeah, and made yourself feel bad and beat yourself up over having legitimate feelings. Now, when we've learned this from Kate Collins, right when we've had these neuro-emotional sessions with her, when we've talked to her before in the past that we cannot bypass our emotional brain and jump into logic because our brain physically cannot do it. So you're stuck in emotional brain right now and your job right now is to go back into the emotions and let yourself fully feel the emotions. The emotions were triggered by an event that happened, right, you were a child where you felt like your needs didn't matter, or that you didn't have the care that you needed, or your caregivers neglected you in some sort of way. I don't know what it is for you. That's something that you'll have to dig into, but you got to go back and find that story.
Speaker 1:What if you don't find the story? What if you can't remember? You will. You've said that before. I've been trying for years to find where certain triggers came from.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is what's happening with with you specifically, and happens to a lot of people. When we start digging into the emotions, it becomes so intense because the trigger is so big, because the historical event that happened was so big that your body is protecting you and is shutting down and saying we won't look at this. We're not going to look at this. I can't see this. If I can't see it, it won't bother me. So you still have to go into the feelings and you'll have to allow yourself to have the feelings without judgment.
Speaker 1:And I guess there could also be more than just one situation, and normally there is yeah, okay, yikes, is that helpful?
Speaker 2:Do you understand?
Speaker 1:Very helpful. Yes, yeah, I just. I really have to sit in my feelings, figure out where it came from.
Speaker 3:I want to hypnotize Jennifer so she can dig into those feelings. That's what I want to do. Let's get to it right now.
Speaker 1:That's right. We did talk about doing that when you did.
Speaker 3:It's like if you can't look at it, you know in your conscious. Let's go into the subconscious and see if we can safely figure around and see if we can expose some things that that are safe. Don't get everything out. Once you get a small piece that you can look at and process right now, and then once you get that taken care of, then down the line something else will bubble up, They'll get triggered again, and so, yeah, in my life now I know every time I'm triggered there's something behind it, and so it's almost like a habit of oh my gosh, my husband so pissed me off. Right now I'm just steaming at the ears and I know, don't go yell at him, go in because, chances are he hasn't done anything to warrant that intense of an emotional reaction.
Speaker 1:Right Like if.
Speaker 3:I'm just a little annoyed with him. Well, that's normal, everyday stuff. But you know, if I'm really feeling big, heavy emotions you know anger, you know jealousy, frustration, that's really intense Then I know, okay, he, he's, he's not the problem, it's, it's something. And and so then I begin yeah, and it's like it's a continual process. I don't get triggered now nearly as often as I used to, but I still get triggered you know, everybody does. That's part of how we're wired.
Speaker 2:I think that's a good thing to note too, that if you're like Jennifer and you struggle to see the emotions or dig into the emotions and come to you know, go back into your history and see where these things are actually coming, really good tools that will help you go back into the healing experience. And because the whole purpose of shadow work we're not meant to have those shadows forever. You know they're a protection mechanism and that's okay, that's normal, that's what our bodies are supposed to do. But eventually, when we're old enough and we can process emotions that we couldn't process when we were younger, we have to go back to it because those are pieces of ourselves, those are fragmented pieces of ourselves that our soul is wanting us to reintegrate, to feel whole again. So they're not supposed to be cast into the shadow forever. We're supposed to go back and grab them right, go back and heal them and bring them back home so that we can feel whole. Go back and heal them and bring them back home so that we can feel whole.
Speaker 2:But that also brings me to a lot of other signs that we can look for when we are learning about shadow work or learning how we can find the shadows within us. So one is being emotionally triggered. That's definitely one, but you were trying to say when it reoccurs, reoccurring patterns or reoccurring triggers. That is another clue. Yeah, so intense emotional reactions, reoccurring patterns or triggers, projections onto others, aka judgments of others. All judgment this is something that RJ Spina says in his book, which I've been reading lately All judgment is judgment of the self judgment this is something that RJ Spina says in his book, which I've been reading lately All judgment is judgment of the self.
Speaker 2:So when you find that you were judging other people, you are actually judging a shadow aspect of yourself, a part of yourself that you've denied. There's also self-sabotage when you sabotage yourself, when you get in your own way, negative self-talk, self-doubt, feelings of being stuck, when you feel blocked in life, like you can't move forward. Usually there's an indicator that there's limiting beliefs there or shadow work that needs to be done. Avoidance or numbing, when you avoid out certain thoughts or numb out certain thoughts or memories or emotions or you stay surface level. Another indicator difficulty accepting compliments or accepting love, and then unexplained- physical or emotional pain which usually goes along with unresolved emotional issues.
Speaker 1:I just have a feeling, though, that once I recognize it and see the patterns come up, it's going to be one of those things that's just going to be easy for me once I figure it out. I'm a slow learner. I guess it takes me a long time to process things and to figure out how they work, and it's been a long time.
Speaker 2:I disagree that you're a slow learner or that you have a long. It takes you a long time to process things. I think you just haven't found the right tools that you need to help you get there. And then, once it's like muscle memory, once you've been doing it for so long and you get good at it, like it becomes something that's easier for you to do. You've seen the growth that I've had. That was hard for me once upon a time too, but I do it all the time. It's something I'm probably digging into every single month Because I'm recognizing ah, these are the triggers. And then I've learned the tools to go back and to help heal and it just gets easier and easier and easier. It doesn't go away, like there's always going to be shadow aspects that we have to work through, always things that we have to heal but the intensity of it and how long it takes you to do it becomes a lot shorter.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm waiting for.
Speaker 3:So what are some of the tools, Candice, that work for you when you're doing intentional shadow work?
Speaker 2:I have this tool that I use and I'm not affiliated with them by any means, but I use this. This has helped kind of teach me how to go back into shadow work or into inner child healing and do that healing work. This is called TBM, to Be Magnetic. This is by Lacey Phillips. This is an entire program that she has built that helps you do this and they are a self-guided deep hypnosis meditations that you do. That helps you. She's got journal prompts and it helps you kind of like get into the subconscious mind about where these triggers are coming from and then you are guided through these deep hypnosis meditations where you go back and you give yourself the healing that you need and reintegrate those parts of yourself. That actually was a game changer for me.
Speaker 2:When I found that, because I was in, I was struggling with PTSD and I was where you were, it was like I cannot look at my past. I cannot look into my past. I cannot look into these emotions because they're so big, they're so intense and I literally felt like if I did, I would die, like my body was like I would. My body thought I would die if I looked at them and talk therapy was really effing hard because I had to force myself to talk about these things that I didn't feel safe to talk about and it was like reopening up my traumas all over again, which I felt like made my PTSD so much worse.
Speaker 2:And I kept feeling like there has to be something else out there in the world that can help me get through these blocks and I kept asking my guides please help put this thing in front of me. What is? And I know there's something out there. It was in like 24 hours an ad for this TBM thing popped up and then I heard about it on another podcast and then I found the podcast and I was like okay sign, I accept, I will. I've been doing that for like five years. I've been following her program for five years. So every time I find a trigger, I go back and I do those. Those deep hypnosis is.
Speaker 1:See, this is where I can say maybe I am a slow learner because I've had that tool You've been given, like I just couldn't do it. I couldn't pull up any memories or anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like there's something else that needs to be put in place for you. First, I had therapy. I had therapy that was helping me open up wounds, helping me look at things at least you know and put things in chronological order, helping me teach me how to re-regulate my nervous system. I was actually I was gaining good things from therapy, but I just felt like there was another level I needed to go to. You haven't had the first level yet. You're jumping to the second level.
Speaker 3:Well, let me talk about really briefly how I do my shadow work, because it's different than yours and I think everybody is completely different. So, yeah, and luckily there are lots of tools out there to use. So I was in the camp of just repress and shove all your emotions down and never look at them. I mean, that was my whole life and probably until my forties, so a good long time and I was doing Reiki healing and you know, things kept knocking at the door and that's what Reiki does. It brings things up very slowly, very gently, and then they start knocking at the door. And that's what Reiki does it brings things up very slowly, very gently, and then they start knocking at the door and I'm like, oh, and what I started doing was, the very first thing was actually emotion code, a really simple holistic tool that can be used, where you use muscle testing to find emotions that are trapped and you use a magnet to release them, and it's really simple, and so I started there first. It was like a baby step. So it was like me acknowledging oh, I do have emotions that are repressed, and when I just started doing this program, this activity is, I would notice the emotions that would come up and then I'd have a memory that came up, the emotions that would come up, and then I'd have a memory that came up, and a lot of times the memory was something that I hadn't looked at in decades. And when I first started doing the program, it was childhood memories of when I was very, very young and things that happened that I had repressed, and so it was like a really safe way to just take little pictures and then process them for a while and then I wait a little bit and I do some more. So it was, it felt safe, because when the memories came up through that practice for whatever reason, they didn't completely take me down I felt the emotion, but it was almost like the echo of that emotion or the shadow of that emotion. It wasn't like full on, and so I continued doing that, month after month after month, and I began to write and journal my story.
Speaker 3:As a young child and boy. Did that really help me? Because it was like little tiny pieces. I could work on it as I wanted to, but it was how I learned to feel safe, processing with emotions. So that is still something that I will do now If I'm struggling with something and I can't like put the my finger on exactly what I'm feeling.
Speaker 3:I will pull out my emotion code tools, I will pull up some emotions and then, once they come up, then I look at each emotion. I'm like, okay, what's the history behind this one? And I see what floats into my mind's eye or what I remember. And then I take a moment and I feel that and I acknowledge that and if it's little I can let it go pretty quickly, but if it's a heavy one it might take me some time to really process that. So that is the tool that works for me.
Speaker 3:Now I've done the to be magnetic stuff, candice, as well, because you had shared that with me, and I really liked that because that kind of allowed me to dig really deeply where emotion code isn't quite as deep that hypnosis, you know, meditation kind of thing. I could go even deeper and so when I was ready for that, then I could jump into that as well. And I've done therapy as well. And that is effing hard. It really is, because each week you walk into your appointment knowing you're going to talk about hard stuff and you dread going in and you're like, oh, I don't want to do this, and afterwards I would leave therapy, and I don't know that I would always feel that much better. But week after week, time after time, I started to notice some differences. So so, yeah, I I definitely recommend that if you feel like you can't get anywhere, or if you start digging and it just gets too overwhelming, that's definitely a good choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to bash therapists, but there is something like where you go in once a week, you have no support outside of that. There's like no updates or like how do I continue working through this throughout the week? It's just like 50 minutes of spilling your guts and potentially getting a couple of tools and then having to go apply that when you're still in survival brain or in emotional brain and and that's hard. That was really, really hard for me, so that's why I was like I need to find something that helps support me in the in-between time, which ended up being TBM, which was huge. But then TBM started to feel like okay, there's another layer that I need to get to, and that's when I ended up finding Reiki, too, and doing the motion code too, and meditations and things like that that I was led to in the more energetic spiritual realm.
Speaker 2:After yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's important also to note that, like, everyone's first step is going to be different. Mine ended up being therapy, jennifer. Yours might end up being something completely different Maybe you just haven't found that yet and yours ended up being was yours therapy too?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I did the therapy before I got to emotion code. So, yeah, it was the therapy first, which was really Rose, you need to look at your emotions. That was really the whole gist of the therapy, and yeah, so I think of shadow work as a couple of different things and I don't know if I'm right or not, so it's everything that we've been talking about, right. I don't know if I'm right or not, so it's everything that we've been talking about, right. But I also think of shadow work as the parts of my personality that I want to repress or I don't want people to see. For example, I have a very sarcastic side to my personality, brutally sarcastic.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've seen that side of you. It's come out a little bit, but it's fun when it does.
Speaker 3:It is fun when it comes out and I always enjoy it when it comes out, but it can be hurtful and other people may not receive it as it's intended and so because of that I kind of keep that under wraps. You know, unless I'm with people that I know, um, I can be, I can be that full part of myself safely with. So is that another part of shadow work, like those parts of your personality that maybe you don't share with others because one reason or another?
Speaker 2:100% Parts of your personality, or even desires that you have, desires for your future, desires for the way you live your life. Yeah, if they're. If you don't feel that those things about you are accepted, they become shadow yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So how do you work through something like that? Where do you find the right balance, you know? So, like, here's another one. Like I've been watching Agatha all along. She is like the meanest, meanest person in the world, but part of me is just loving her attitude and her power and her kick ass way of doing things. But, you know, I certainly don't think she's a model I want to model my life after, but it's like part of me does resonate with you know, that violence almost, and so that is part of the human makeup I mean, when you see all the violent things that are on TV. But I certainly don't want to live in a world like that. So, you know, is that considered another shadow aspect? And maybe that's more of a collective shadow aspect?
Speaker 2:Oh God, yes, but those are I'm. I'm guessing you, as a child, didn't feel like it was okay to be angry or to show rage or to lash out, so you suppressed that. So you desire that. That's a part of you. It's like I want a part of myself to come out and like release some of this anger and this rage, and it's it's like eye candy to watch somebody else do it. It's like, oh, I want to do that. Like I just wish you right. Like I love watching people be assholes.
Speaker 2:I really do Like people who just say whatever they want and they don't care about the consequences or how they're going to make other people feel. Sometimes I'm like damn it, I want to do that, I want to be that person, because I didn't get to do that as a child and I was always told like, be kind, be nice, or don't speak if you have nothing nice to say at all. But hell, yeah, those are shadows too and there's a. Is there a way that we can integrate those and make them healthier? Right, probably through shadow work. But yeah, those would be considered shadows too. So once you have found your shadows, then what then? What do you do with them? We talked a little bit about a couple of things that you can do, and we're going to go in a little bit more to some other helpful tools that will help you work through your shadows. But let's talk about the process of shadow work. Once you're in it, what is happening in there when you're reintegrating? What does that mean?
Speaker 3:What is happening in there when you're reintegrating. What does that mean? When I think of shadow work and integration, you know it used to be that those parts of myself I wanted to just get rid of. Yeah, I need to let that anger go and never be angry again. And that's the way I used to believe and of course, that was completely wrong.
Speaker 3:Part of doing shadow work is to embrace all the parts of yourself the lovely, beautiful parts or so you think or judge as well as all the parts that are maybe not so shiny and pretty chasm, the anger, the rage. So that process is looking at that shadow, noticing your triggers, digging into the root cause and then actually feeling it. And that's that's the hardest part. It's like feeling those emotions and knowing, okay, this is where this stems from and I'm going to go back and I remember that, and it's through meditation, is my process of working, through shadow work is I will, you know, lay down on my bed. I will, hey, I've already done some. You know emotion code, I know the emotions, and then I will say, okay, show me the route, and I watch for whatever comes up, and sometimes it's something that happened to me in childhood A lot of times. Sometimes it's something that's happened to me as an adult, because, you know, I've lived a few years and then you just look at that story and you feel those emotions and I will say things in my mind like I have jealousy within me or I have anger within me. It's like I will even, in my mind, name those emotions. It's like I'm taking ownership that that is part of who I am. And then what I like to do is I like to rewrite the story if necessary. So if it's something that's been really traumatic and maybe it's a childhood memory, then I will come in into that vision as an adult and I will give my child self what it didn't get.
Speaker 3:Or, you know, if it's, you know, I'm angry at someone, I might envision myself standing in front of that person and expressing that anger and saying how I really feel, because it's appropriate to do that in a meditation, you know where. Actually saying those things might not be appropriate, because I'm owning that. It's mine, even if somebody else did something to trigger me. I'm owning that. This is my emotion. It comes from my root and I have the power to fix it. I have the power to change the story. I have the power to say in my meditation exactly what I want to say, no matter how mean or nasty it might be, because I want to express that, I want to allow that part of myself to be seen.
Speaker 3:And then, once I've done whatever I need to do to kind of acknowledge that and rewrite that story or give it an ending that feels complete, then I usually just sit in meditation for a little while and I let those emotions kind of simmer and eventually I almost feel like a release and things kind of settle down.
Speaker 3:And then at that point I usually try and send myself love and I will be saying things like I acknowledge that I had anger within me, but, rose, I love you. With the anger it's like I want to embrace and integrate all those parts of me so that every time I feel angry, I know it's okay to be angry, it's okay to have anger within me. And the next time you know, when I'm in a situation, maybe with somebody else I'm really angry Maybe this time I can do something to advocate for myself a little bit more, because now the anger is something I'm working with rather than just trying to repress. And so every time I get triggered if it's a big trigger. I'm going through that whole process. If it's just a little annoyance, you know, then I might take mental note of it and do a little journaling and just kind of dig in a little bit. So it depends on the depth of the emotion. So that's the process that I use, but it doesn't mean that it's the only process.
Speaker 2:I feel like you nailed it. You nailed it yeah.
Speaker 1:What happens if you revisit a memory and you've gone through and you've done the healing with that memory, but yet you're still being triggered over and over. Do you keep going back to that memory and revisiting and rehealing, or do you try and find another memory?
Speaker 2:Well, when you're doing it in meditation or deep hypnosis, you're not supposed to be forcing the memories to come up or forcing like pinpointing it by using your logical mind. It should be something that just gradually kind of appears to you. So if it appears to you again in meditation that that is the same memory, there might be another facet that needs healing around it. You know our bodies and our minds will only let us do so much work in one sitting to not overwhelm us. So sometimes that means we have to revisit the same memory a couple of times and work through another facet. And it could also be that there's a different memory, like a before that memory memory.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the root root cause, right Right, that might need some healing too. Yeah, that makes sense, yeah.
Speaker 3:I have found that with my really intense traumatic moments, there are almost like layers and I'll do a layer and I'll think, hot dog, I got this one all taken care of. And then I go live my life and I integrate all that healing and then maybe six months later, something else will bubble up or I'll have a trigger and I'm like, oh, we're not quite done with this one yet, and then I'll have to go back and dig a little deeper and do another layer and some things you know I'm still working on, even though I've already done some work. So I think that's real normal.
Speaker 2:I want to talk a little bit about the process of integrating it, and I loved what you said, rose. I think that is so spot on when you go back into the feelings of the memory, when that memory finally comes up if it comes up, sometimes the memory doesn't come up, sometimes it is an impression of an emotion that you felt. If you can at least pinpoint a general age, it can help too. Like, oh, I must've been six or seven when I felt this, and then you just sit in the emotions of that. You don't have to have the story, you don't have to have the narrative, you just have to have the feeling. And the feeling is already living inside of your body. So it's just noticing the emotions, or noticing the sensation of the emotions that are arising within the body and letting them fully process through. That means you're not analyzing them, you're not judging them, you're not changing them. You're just sitting in them and letting the energy work its motion and leave, like dissipate, and leave the body. And sometimes that will look different for me. Sometimes that looks like I cry, I cry hard. Sometimes it looks like my body convulses and shakes. Sometimes it looks like nothing, just deep meditation and ease and peace on my face. But the point is to let those emotions fully process through your body and then, once those emotions fully process of the actual event that happened, then you can rewire.
Speaker 2:You can do the rewiring work, do the integration work. You can give yourself okay, what did I really need in that moment, in that situation? Maybe I needed love and compassion, maybe I needed a parental figure to come forward and give me comfort or to explain things to me. And then you relive it because your mind doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. And that's why this work is so powerful, because you literally are telling your brain and your nervous system a different story.
Speaker 2:You're rewriting the story. So you rewrite the story in a way that feels healing to you and then you relish in those emotions of healing. It changes the emotions of the event and you get to really like, reintegrate good emotions and expand on those. And then that's when you come out of the meditation and that's the integration part taking those parts of yourself, letting yourself feel them and then rewriting your story, which is actually changing your nervous system, actually rewriting the brain and setting you up for success in life. Yeah, because that that trigger will most likely become less intense. You'll have a different perspective, a different understanding, and when that trigger comes up again, you might be able to go oh, I know this.
Speaker 2:Like this isn't affecting me the same way, or I. I can now see from a bird eye perspective of like what's really happening here.
Speaker 1:You know, I can't wait for that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as you do the work, it's like some things that used to bother you don't bother you anymore. Yeah, and you, you adopt this more neutral stance on a lot of the things that go on around you. And yeah, it's that bird's eye view. You're like, oh okay, that used to bother me, but I figured out why, so it's not going to bother me anymore.
Speaker 2:And also you can see when other people are being triggered in a similar, similar way. You can see, like oh, I see where the wound is coming from. We talked about this once before in like oh, I see where the wound is coming from. We talked about this once before in an earlier podcast. I see where the wound is coming from. I see where you're acting out of this wounded place and you don't have to be a judge of it, but you can have an understanding of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah. This person is yelling at me, but I know it has nothing to do with me. I'm going to advocate for myself, but I don't have to be triggered by it.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, pulls you out of the intensity of the emotion of the situation.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All right, let's talk about some other ways, some effective ways that you can use shadow work and that you can start doing this work on your own. So one way we did talk about is journaling, self-reflection and journaling. This is going to help bring awareness to those hidden thoughts, those hidden beliefs, those patterns and those emotions. So you can start to write about recent triggers that are reoccurring, or negative patterns, and exploring questions like what do I dislike in others? And exploring questions like what do I dislike in others, what am I judging in others or what parts of myself am I avoiding, and regular journaling can really help to bring up the suppressed aspects to the surface so that can be acknowledged. Another one is meditation and visualization, which I think we've talked extensively on. That's clearly some of our favorite ways to do this work. You can also identify and work with the triggers, so noticing situations or people that make you feel intense emotions like anger, shame, jealousy, insecurity, and using these intense reactions to pinpoint an unhealed aspect of yourself that you may be avoiding.
Speaker 2:Practicing self-compassion. One of the most important aspects of shadow work is self-compassion. As you're bringing these shadows into awareness, you're approaching them with understanding, with patience, forgiveness, even, and remembering not to judge yourself or shame these parts of you, but to acknowledge and integrate them as part of the whole self. Inner child work I feel like this goes hand in hand with shadow work, because often when we're looking at those repressed aspects of ourself, we are often digging into our childhood to find where we first decided that those things were not acceptable about us. Therapy, of course, is a good option. It is definitely something that can help getting a good practitioner, somebody who's versed in shadow work, somebody a therapist, a coach, a spiritual healer that can help you gain insight into your shadows and help you do the work to release the shadow work or reintegrate yourself as a whole. Mirror work. This involves looking at yourself in the mirror and speaking to parts of yourself that you tend to hide or dislike.
Speaker 1:That's hard have any have we hide our entire body clothing, so that's true.
Speaker 2:Have any of you done mirror work Like? Look at the mirror and be like I love you I've done it a couple of times, yeah or looking at your body and just, I love my body.
Speaker 2:Look at how strong my legs are. You know, those are I, those are. That's hard, that's hard work to do Art therapy or art and creative expression. I also did art therapy for a good long time. I felt like that was when I was doing PTSD or trauma therapy. I moved from one therapist who was just a general psychologist and then moved to trauma therapy specifically for having PTSD, and she was an art therapist and I loved it.
Speaker 2:It was hard, but like being able to use art to show my emotions or like, unconsciously, like I would draw a picture. She'd say, draw a picture of yourself, I draw a picture of myself, but it would all be in black and white and the outside would be color and I didn't realize that that was like a subconscious thing that I was doing and she was like oh, the fact that you drew yourself in black and white actually says about how you feel about yourself or how disconnected you are from the world, what I had no idea. So doing art can be such a beautiful way to help bring some of the unconscious or subconscious to the surface, could be so healing too. Of course, using things like shadow prompts, shadow work prompts, so journal prompts you can find those things everywhere. They're on Pinterest or shadow work journals are a thing too. And then also practicing daily acceptance accepting yourself with non-judgment, giving yourself love and compassion. Over time, this really helps train you to meet your shadow self with a lot less resistance, all right. So as we wrap up today's journey into shadow work, remember that uncovering and embracing these hidden parts of ourselves is a brave act of self-love.
Speaker 2:Shadow work isn't about fixing or judging ourselves. It's about understanding and integrating every part of who we are. Each shadow we confront brings us closer to wholeness, deepening our self-awareness and expanding our capacity for growth, compassion and authenticity, and often is leading us into the life that we already truly desire, that our souls truly desire. So we encourage you to take things at your own pace. Be gentle with yourself, seek support when needed. This journey is lifelong. There's no need to rush into it. So thank you so much for joining us in this powerful conversation. We hope it inspires you to explore your shadows with curiosity and kindness. Until next time, keep shining your light, even into the shadows, and remember you're never alone on this path and we're honored to be a part of your journey.
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