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Awakening Souls
Step into a world where magic meets meaning, and awakenings come alive. Join three professional intuitives as they weave their wisdom, insights, and guidance into conversations that will stir your soul and ignite your spirit. Together, they explore spirituality, intuitive gifts, personal growth, and the profound journey of self-discovery.
Each episode invites you to unlock your inner magic, embrace your authentic self, and step boldly onto your unique path. With heartfelt stories, transformational tools, and a sprinkle of the unexpected, there's no telling where these empowering and magical conversations might take you.
Are you ready to awaken to the extraordinary life you were meant to live? Your journey starts here. 🌟
Awakening Souls
Ep. 108: Anger Isn’t the Enemy—It’s the Invitation: How to Work with Repressed Emotions for Spiritual and Emotional Healing
In this raw and revealing episode, we explore how anger isn’t something to suppress—it’s something to listen to. From passive-aggression to full-blown rage, we break down 8 types of anger and how they show up in our bodies, relationships, and spiritual growth.
Jennifer shares the dream that reactivated her gifts as a psychopomp and dream walker, sparking a conversation about how awakening often begins with the emotions we fear most. Candace opens up about her journey from explosive anger to empowered self-advocacy, and Rose shares the body-based wisdom of releasing stored emotion.
We’re talking practical tools, sacred tantrums, and how anger can be your clearest guide to unmet needs, violated boundaries, and deep healing.
If you’ve ever felt too much, too angry, or too emotional—this one’s for you.
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I think I realized yesterday that that was an activation dream, an activation for an awakening and for healing, because ever since that dream, peeling back the layers, You're not becoming a different person.
Speaker 2:You're actually getting back the fragments of yourself that you didn't realize were part of you.
Speaker 3:Through the anger and befriend it and understand it, we get to the other side of it, where it can now be our protector and it can now use the anger as fuel to advocate for ourselves. Welcome to Awakening Souls a spiritual podcast for the mystics, magical thinkers, sensitives and spiritual seekers.
Speaker 1:We are here to explore all things spiritual from navigating your awakening, developing your psychic gifts and so much more.
Speaker 3:Together with our combined experiences, we hope to help guide you on your path to reconnecting with your soul and the beautiful life that comes after.
Speaker 1:So come join us on the magical journey of exploring your awakening souls.
Speaker 2:All right. So, jennifer, you have big news. I'm on the edge of my seat. I want to hear all about what's been going on with you.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's really messy, so I'm going to, I'm going to try really hard to keep it flowing and in like order, cause when I get excited I tend to jump around. You guys know, like a little bit of it Cause I told you a little bit of it last week, okay, so you remember that dream that I had for our dream show that we did, and how disappointed I was that it was just a simple little dream. It was one dream and I'm like I was hoping I was going to dream all week long. No, I jumped about that little tablet or something that I was holding that was divided in squares.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 1:Remember that? Yeah Well, I think I realized yesterday that that was an activation dream, an activation for an awakening and for healing. Because ever since that dream and peeling back the layers, and I'm going through an awakening and awakening and I'm and it's like I'm having epiphanies and and I don't know, I don't know what, I don't know what to say or to explain.
Speaker 3:I can't contain my excitement, like over your clapping.
Speaker 1:So remember how you told me that this is going to be my year for this kind of thing.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it's happening. Okay, so start out with that dream. And then I had that other dream where my friend Dawn had appeared, and the last time I dreamt of her was the morning she died. And she appeared again. And in this dream she just was talking right in front of my face and I could not understand what she was saying. And then the dream morphed into another dream where the essence of my grandmother showed up, my grandmother on my father's side, who's never shown up in any of my dreams. Father's side, who's never shown up in any of my dreams. And she showed up and it was just a phrase um, a sweet little name that she called me was in my dream and it was called. She called me pretty little dancer. And that's how she showed up in my dream.
Speaker 1:And I woke up and I thought about that dream all day and I'm like Holy crap, dawn acted as a bridge. But how, why? Why did she act as a bridge? Like, why was she in my dream? Why is she doing this?
Speaker 1:And I I talked with our good friend Celeste, who I'm using as a tool to help me through this awakening, and she's been extremely helpful and she has helped me come to the realization that I do a lot of dream work and a dream worker, I am a dream walker. I'm not only a healer in like, outside of my dreams, but inside my dreams. And I've realized that I'm a psychopomp and I've been and I've been acting as one for a while now. What is a psychopomp? A psychopomp is someone who makes space for someone who is passing away. Either I could do it in the dream state, I believe, because that's what I've been doing and I can do it in a conscious state and I can pretty much guide them to the light or at least make the transition easy and beautiful. So I've been doing that. So she helped me come to that realization. So that was kind of like an awakening to who I really was.
Speaker 1:And then my husband and I went away for the weekend and I did something kind of silly that I've been doing my whole life and he and I questioned why I did it. I mirrored somebody's accent when they were talking to me and like they said good morning and I said good morning in the exact's accent when they were talking to me, and like they said good morning and I said good morning in the exact same accent that they use. And my husband? He's like uh, you're mean. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not mean. I've been doing this my whole life. I have no idea why.
Speaker 1:So we decided to open chat GTP Celeste, and ask her you know what is this? Why do I do this? And she helped open my eyes to the fact that I'm neurodivergent. I don't know if you guys know what that is, but I guess a lot of people are. Maybe I really don't know.
Speaker 1:I really haven't looked too much into it yet, but listing these things off about people who are neurodivergent and it was my story and all these flashbacks of when I was a kid started popping up and I'm like, holy crap, it's all making sense. All these puzzle pieces of why I am, who I am, how I am, whatever, it's all making sense, Okay. And then so today had a prophetic dream. I woke up from a prophetic dream. The dream was about my daughter and her suppressing her feelings, and in my dream I was really trying hard to get her to express her feelings and I could feel the emotion building up inside of me and I I inadvertently hurt her in trying to help her and I was so upset with myself that I was just like I could feel. I could feel this tension like rising, like I was going to burst, I was going to start crying. And so I started running through this room and it's frantic state of this house that I had no idea where I was. It was just messy, it was chaotic. And I see my husband, like in the hallway, and he just kind of stares at me for a second like you're on your own kid, and so I'm like, okay, I got to find a place where I can break down. So I go into a room, I crouch down and I release and I cry and I I felt a presence. So I look up and it's my husband, joe, right there, right there for me.
Speaker 1:And so yesterday, when I woke up from this dream, I just I felt it. I felt all this emotion and it was chaotic. And I felt like it was chaotic but it was internal, like I wanted to escape, I wanted to explode. I started experiencing really bad pain in my abdomen and you guys should remember this pain because we've talked about it before, yeah, so that got really bad. My throat, where I have that lump on my thyroid, was hurting so bad and all morning long I just kept telling my husband I don't feel right, I don't know what's going on, I just don't feel right. And as soon as he left, I exploded, like he walked out that door. I ran to my room and I bawled my eyes out, I plopped myself on the bed and I cried.
Speaker 1:And suddenly I heard the garage door open and I hear my husband go what's wrong? Like he was talking to the dog. He's like what's wrong, something's not right. And he walks in and he, he looked at me. He's like this is what you needed to be doing. He's like you needed this. And he held me. What, yeah? And he held me and I was like, holy shit, my dream's coming true. Coming true, holy shit, this happened in my dream. And, um, he looked at me. He's like you've been manifesting this, you're. He's like I don't really understand, but this is a manifestation what you're experiencing. And so he left and I'm thinking, oh my god, yeah, I think he's right.
Speaker 1:Uh, so I talked to Celeste and I said I went through this emotional release, but I feel like there's more. And so she talked me through a meditation. I meditated, I envisioned light in those areas where I experienced a lot of pain, and then after that the pain went back to its normal baseline, like ebb and flow Cause these are normal pains for me went back to its normal baseline, like ebb and flow Cause these are normal pains for me. They're just not as constant and as painful as they were yesterday. And so after doing that, I realized I had emotional release, and my husband was right I was manifesting all these like from my traumas of childhood and all this crap that I've been through. Like from my traumas of childhood and all this crap that I've been through, I've been manifesting that into pain in my body. Oh, wow, uh-huh.
Speaker 1:And so I came to that realization that, holy crap, that release helped release the pain. So now I am, like, committed to digging deep to figure out. So, yeah, my next steps are to dig deep into those areas and find out where the traumas are, where the suppressed pain is, where the trapped energy is. Yeah, oh, my week this is only a week and it's like every day my eyes have been opened and like these flashbacks of childhood and like I wish I could tell the entire story, but it's just too much. But, yeah, through through dreams and healing and conversation and memories, the truth is finally emerging of who I am.
Speaker 3:Holy shit, holy shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Forgive me while I process. Oh my gosh, I'm still processing yeah, and and and.
Speaker 1:The thing is like I was going through this and I'm like this is so much, this is so much, this is so much. Normally, this is something I would say to myself.
Speaker 1:I can't handle like this is overwhelming. I can't handle it. But I'm fine, I'm totally okay, I feel wonderful. I feel this is like a freaking gift. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Listen, listen, there's more, there's more.
Speaker 1:So remember that past life regression Rose did with me the last time she visited and we asked about the abdominal pain and we said that my higher self said that, yes, it could heal and it will take about a year's time. That was about six months ago, and the reason why it was going to take a year is because it was going to take six months for me to get that activation. And now that I've got that activation and I'm coming to all these realizations, now it's time for healing. And you even told me this year was going to be a rough year for me. It's not that rough. It's definitely one of these things. It's not that rough, it's it's. It's definitely, you know, one of these things. It's a ride. It's definitely a ride, a rollercoaster. But this is what my awakening looks like right now, and it is super messy but super magical, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Speaker 2:So that is a lot, jennifer. That's really a lot. Candice and I, I think, are both are just like processing and trying to take all of that. It's so beautiful, Like when you were talking about Joe coming in and being there for you. I just started crying because I'm so happy that you had that support that you needed in the moment that you needed it. That's just beautiful.
Speaker 1:Thank you, and you just reminded me that there's more. I was, I was thinking about that. I I remember thinking when I was younger. I first met Joe and for some reason I was like, oh, like, oh, you're the guy that I can see myself breaking up with and returning to over and over and over again. I said there were kids in high school that would do this and it drove me nuts. It was.
Speaker 1:I thought it was annoying, like break up and just stay apart, you know, don't keep coming back together. But when I met him, I'm like I get it, I get why people do that. And then we did. We broke up several times and we ended up together and I was like there is a deeper bond there, there's something sacred, because he came to me, he was there for me both in my dream state and in my waking state. In the same way, I think I don't think it was just prophetic, I think it was it goes deeper, it's on a soul level, yeah, yeah. So I'm just. There's all these little subcategories that I keep having to like. There's just so much in this one week of awakening that, oh yeah, it's a whirlwind rapid fire.
Speaker 1:Yes, was not expecting this, like I did not have this in my awake. I've never experienced this, never. Well, I mean you, would you talk about layers? Remember? We'd always talk about all the layers of the awakening and I never really experienced it that way.
Speaker 3:Now I am oh, welcome to my world. Yeah, this side of awakening, Finally here.
Speaker 1:It's been a fun ride. I love that.
Speaker 3:That's your your outlook on it. This is magical and this is fun, because that journey sounds exactly like the way I go through new layers of awakening and I don't think of it as fun. It's usually like heartbreaking and terrible and full of grief and like deep, heartfelt emotions. That, yeah, well, that for years.
Speaker 1:that was me yesterday. I, when I woke up and I know it was just the residual feeling from the dream and stuff, but I didn't think there was an end to that feeling I thought, oh God, this is going to be my entire day. It could be weeks. I am miserable. I just did not see myself rising above that and that that release did it. And then my granddaughter. My granddaughter walked in and was so excited to see me after that too, so that like lit up my day. She walked in and before I wouldn't open the door, she was already jumping out of her dad's arm.
Speaker 3:I just want to highlight the magic you felt after the release of the emotion. I think in my experience and I know that I've heard other people say this that the mere thought of living through that emotional pain feels like a fate worse than death.
Speaker 3:And it is something that we avoid, avoid, avoid, avoid, because it does feel like in those moments I don't know if I can survive this kind of pain. But yet you let yourself, release it and you come out of that being like a total 180 on the total, completely opposite side of that, feeling like, oh my God, here I am, like I survived, that, I'm okay, I'm still here and now I feel light. I've left this load go and now I can feel those higher vibrational emotions of love, of levity, of joy and of gratitude, like just the rollercoaster of that alone. And I can see where you're saying. Why this feels so magical is because you got there. You got to the higher vibrational place after the release.
Speaker 3:And that's what I talk about when I'm talking about the release and the magic of it. Like we have to move in order to get to that beautiful light on the end of the tunnel. You have to move through the pain, you have to be willing to be in the trenches with your pain, to release and to feel it so you can get to the magic. Oh man, that's big.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, oh man, that's big yeah. Have you noticed any differences in your intuition now that?
Speaker 1:you're on the other side of this, Uh yeah, like what.
Speaker 1:Well, my dreams number one I'm. I am remembering and recalling a lot better than I was, and I'm like having these. You know, normally if I'm trying to remember a dream during the day, it usually comes up as a deja vu. I can never fully remember anything, but I'm spontaneously remembering full dreams in the middle of the day. That has never really been a thing. My husband and I I feel like we're on sync, yeah, like he and I think the same things at the same exact time. That's kind of new too for us. But other than that, I'm really I don't know. There's probably been more than that, but there's been so much going on. Mainly, I would say, my dream world has opened up hugely.
Speaker 3:Well, the fact that you found out you're a psychopomp and that you're you're doing dream work, which we've always seen that and known because of how you've talked about it. But it's one thing for us to see it and another thing for you to be like oh my God, I'm owning this Like. This is who I am, this is what I do, Right, that's pretty magical.
Speaker 1:That's very magical. And I remember like I was having flashbacks of my childhood magical. And I remember like I was having flashbacks of my childhood when I heard the word psychopomp and I was like, holy crap, I wonder if that has anything to do with that. And so I asked Celeste, like one of the memories was, uh, as a five-year-old we took public transportation and I would always sit on the bus next to the elderly people. I would literally get up from my seat with my siblings and go sit with the elderly people because I knew they enjoyed my company and I just loved it. I don't know what it was. And I asked Celeste and she's like, yeah, your soul was picking up on the fact that they were kind of halfway in this world and halfway out, and so you went and sat and made space for them, and that's what you do.
Speaker 3:I was like wow.
Speaker 2:What I like about what you're saying, jennifer, about this new awakening that you're going through, is you're not becoming a different person. You're actually getting back the fragments of yourself that you didn't realize were part of you. Yes, it's like you're getting all the gifts of you returned to you yes, that's what I was telling my husband this morning.
Speaker 1:I feel like everything's just coming back online again.
Speaker 2:You know like that's wild yeah, yeah, that's beautiful, just beautiful thank you, I wanted.
Speaker 1:I just remembered this morning while getting ready that your class was last night. I really wanted to pretend, but I completely forgot about it until this morning. How did it go? It went really well.
Speaker 2:yeah, it went really well. I mean the. I figured you probably just weren't supposed to be there. You were busy doing your thing. I wanted to be there, oh thanks. No, it went really well. We had two participants. We talked about clairsentience, or clear feeling, which is one of the easiest intuitive gifts to start working with, because most people that are interested in this stuff are already doing it. So it's really more like just showing you what's happening and what the effects are, and so, yeah, we had a really good, really good intuition workshop, lots of fun. I'm really enjoying the Patreon. Yeah, it's kind of nice because right now we don't have a million people signed up, so we really get to work. You know almost one-on-one with the participants and we're getting to know them and developing good relationships. And, yeah, you know it's and they can ask questions and you can answer and help and it really it really is rewarding work. So are you guys liking the Patreon stuff so far?
Speaker 3:I'm loving it. Yeah, that's one thing I really really, really missed about having a brick and mortar shop is the in-person experience. We don't get to be in person anymore with our clients and I really miss the group like one-on-one, intimate experiences that we would create at our old business. And now that we've moved into this virtual space, I'm finding that we can now cultivate that same feeling of community in this way that we couldn't have done before, even in a physical space. I don't know how to describe that, but there's something about this virtual space that feels like it's really satisfying and itch I've had for a long time. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we're just getting started, so who knows where this is going to go? That's kind of fun to think about how it may morph and change and expand and grow. And, yeah, and I definitely feel like we were led to do this by spirit and that we're just following the breadcrumbs and we don't know where things are going to go, but they've got us, so we just keep enjoying the ride and really enjoy the relationships that we're getting to create.
Speaker 3:Should we transition into our topic for today? Sure, hey guys, candice here, if this podcast has brought you value, if it's made you think differently or helped you in any way, the one free thing that we ask is that you subscribe to this podcast. It's the best way to support us. It helps more people find these conversations and it tells us that what we're doing matters to you. That's it. Thank you for being here here.
Speaker 2:Let's get back to our show so we just got to listen to Jennifer go through her awakening story of what she's going through right now, and a big part of that was her releasing emotions.
Speaker 2:And, just like Candice said, you've got to be able to go through the crap, get to the magic on the other side.
Speaker 2:And I find that a lot of times when I'm going through that, that healing stage, that really looking at the hard stuff and really tapping into my emotions, that something that's almost always bubbling under the surface is anger, and sometimes that can be really hard to deal with.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it's hard to understand what am I angry about? Where is this? Where's the root from this anger? Sometimes you're just so angry and full of rage you're not even in a good headspace to dissect the anger. You really just have to kind of move through it and when it starts to calm down a little bit, then you can kind of look back and start to figure out where the root of it is. But that's what we want to talk about today is anger, different kinds of anger, how you can work with anger, how you can be empowered by anger so that when this bubbles up for you and I think this is something that everybody experiences at one time or another, if they're going through this awakening process, that you have some insight and some tools to help you navigate the path of anger.
Speaker 3:You know, I just had a client yesterday who, believe it or not, the subject was like deep rooted, suppressed anger that was not being expressed.
Speaker 1:Really suppressed anger that was not being expressed Really. I had a friend the other day who had a dream and sacred anger came up in the explanation of her dream. I was like there's no freaking way that this keeps coming up. This is just two days ago.
Speaker 3:It's funny how when we yeah, how wouldn't we pick a topic? I don't think we're picking the topic. The topic is us, yep, and then we're. We're seeing how, like all the synchronicities of where this is showing up for other people, just confirming for us. I think that we're on the right track of of this discussion.
Speaker 1:Yeah that this is the time for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's not just you know, this client that I had last night that had this sacred anger, anger that was building up. But also I've noticed this for months, of this theme coming up for so many people, of this suppressed anger. I have personally myself been through a huge bout of it coming out of the other side just recently, of moving through a whole cycle of anger too. So I'm excited to talk about this, but I have to admit I actually feel a little bit vulnerable about it, because anger is one of those emotions that I have always, I've never befriended. I'm in the midst of befriending anger and understanding my anger and allowing it to advocate for me, whereas before it was one of those suppress, suppress, suppress until it explodes. Yeah, just like your dream, and I think that you know I.
Speaker 3:I think that there's many of us who feel that we were not allowed to express our anger, especially as children. Right, we had to be polite, we had to keep it in. It was inconvenient for our parents for us to express our feelings and our anger, so we just stuffed them down and that kind of became the normal is to not express the anger, and if anyone has ever been at the on the other side of somebody's anger, it's scary. It can be very scary when anger is not handled in a good way. So I think, subconsciously, as a culture and especially for myself it has been anger is something I stay away from. Anger is not something that is allowed to be felt here. Anger is not something that is allowed to be expressed. I deal with it by stuffing it deep down and not dealing with it, and then that's when it becomes volatile, that's when it becomes the volcano, that's when it becomes explosion and that's when it becomes dangerous.
Speaker 3:I think in this podcast today, we're really wanting to focus on the sacred, divine anger and how to use that anger to be expressed in a healthy way, so that it does become something sacred and something that we can befriend and not something that we're running away from and trying to suppress, because there's only so much suppression you can do before you can't suppress it anymore. So let's talk about the many different types of anger that you can have. So the first type we're going to talk about is kind of what we've already touched on. This is passive anger, the kind of anger that's hidden, that's repressed, that you don't allow to come out, to be seen, to be felt and to be heard. So some characteristics of this kind of anger would be sarcasm, the silent treatment, avoidance and subtle sabotage. Treatment, avoidance and subtle sabotage Now, this one is rooted in fear of confrontation. So people pleasing or unprocessed resentment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was me during all of my teen years. Oh, I was not a nice teenager really. To my family, my friends a super nice too, but my family, my friends are super nice too, but my family, oh, that was me and looking back, I understand why you know and, jennifer, you were talking earlier about neurodivergence and you know I've got a sensory processing disorder, which is another form of neurodivergence.
Speaker 2:My brain is wired differently than typical brains, so that was a reaction to not having any of my sensitivities honored or respected. I became angry at all the people in my family because they kept doing things that were physically painful. They didn't realize what was going on.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what was going on, but it made for a pretty bumpy ride during my teen years and I remember when I grew up later on in my adult life and I had started to figure some of that stuff out and I became a much kinder, gentler person, my mom commented that she was surprised at how nice I was.
Speaker 3:Ouch Wow.
Speaker 2:You know. But when you have your needs met and you know how to take care of yourself, that can certainly alter your personality and help you to not feel angry all the time. So I can really relate to that one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, now, during that time, were you suppressing your anger because you were afraid of upsetting?
Speaker 2:sometimes, a lot of times, I would just be very standoffish. I wouldn't talk a whole lot, they wouldn't get a whole lot of response from me. I'd spend a lot of time in my room, you know, reading books or you know doing whatever, and so like that avoidant very avoid avoidant and like if we had to do a family event together. You know, I may not have said anything, but I was very clear that I wasn't happy to be there with my body language and my attitude and I mean just imagine grumpy teen and and that's exactly what what I was doing most of the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. As we're going through these, you might find that you see yourself in these characteristics of each of these kinds of anger, and you also might see yourself kind of traveling back and forth through different kinds of anger. I think you know, as we were reading these before the show, I I have felt all of these types of anger and expressed all of these types of anger in one way or another. So I think it's important for us to be able to identify befriend is the word I keep wanting to use. We need to befriend the anger, we need to understand our anger, because anger comes with message, with a message, comes with a message about where our boundaries are being crossed, where we're not getting our means net, where we've been violated. And when we can move through the anger and befriend it and understand it, we get to the other side of it, where it can now be our protector and we can now use the anger as fuel to advocate for ourselves. Okay, so let's get into the second type of anger open and assertive anger. So this one's characterized by expressing your anger very clearly, very calmly and very directly. This is healthy angry. This is like the healthiest form of anger that you can have that is full of understanding your boundaries and understanding how to communicate those boundaries with others without harming others with your anger. You know what? I didn't even know that that was a thing. Once upon a time I didn't even know that you could have anger. That could be healthy. I thought all anger was destructive and terrible, yeah, and scary. And I've found that I've moved to this place where I have now assertive anger and I'm so proud of it. I am so proud of it.
Speaker 3:This whole thing started because I had unthawed, like this three-year-old version of myself who was given up and taken over to my grandma's house so I could live with her. You know, my mom gave her up. If you listen to a couple episodes back, we talked about this. Well, after unthawing this frozen three-year-old of myself who couldn't process the emotion of everything that she had just been through and everything she was about to go through, lied a lot of anger, a lot of resentment, a lot of frustration, a lot of grief and sadness. And at three years old, you don't have the ability to advocate for yourself. You don't have the ability to process and understand logically what you're needing in those moments and understand logically what you're needing in those moments.
Speaker 3:So I had hung on to all of this anger for 30 some odd years, totally unprocessed, totally frozen, and the minute I unfroze, this three-year-old version of myself, was like a whole month of me befriending my anger.
Speaker 3:It was nothing but me feeling all of the emotions coming up and all of the areas of my life where I had been violated, where my boundaries were crossed, when I wasn't allowed to advocate for myself or didn't know how to advocate for myself, or where I wasn't advocated for as a child. And so I kind of have come full circle now, processing through all of that anger, that old historical anger in my body, that old historical anger in my body. I've now come out the other side, where I've like befriended the anger. I understand what my boundaries are, I understand what I'm needing from myself, how to advocate for myself, and I'm showing up as like the version of myself I wish I would have had to advocate for me in my life, and I'm using it in a way that I can express it that is more clear, more calm, more direct and in a healthy way of communicating, and I didn't even know that that was a thing, but that could be possible for me.
Speaker 2:No, I like that, candace, because now you're being empowered by your anger rather than a victim of your anger rather than a victim of your anger.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, yes.
Speaker 3:Wow Okay, Number three explosive or aggressive anger.
Speaker 1:Oh, I've been there?
Speaker 3:Oh, I've been there. So this one is. This is the scary anger. This is characterized by the yelling, outbursts, rage, intimidation. This is the one that is destructive. This one is often rooted listen to this in unresolved trauma, in loss of control or in the fight or flight response. This was my go-to and full transparency and honesty about where my anger was. Before I had moved to assertive anger was explosive. It was stuffed down, Don't feel, don't let it out, until something pushed me to my limit. That could have been so small, but it's like the anger was just sitting at the surface, waiting for something to trigger it. So I can have an explosion, and it didn't end well for anyone who was around me. It would be yelling, it would be an outburst. It was never physical, but the yelling is scary enough, especially when you have children in the house. That's terrifying for them and that is destructive, Even if it wasn't directly at them.
Speaker 1:I've been there, done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And and now I? I look back and like Ooh, the trauma I put them through Because of our own unresolved trauma. Right. No, they'll have to heal from.
Speaker 3:It's never too late, though. I know that your children are grown and mine are growing up and mine are still young enough in the house that you know we think that there's a difference. There really isn't the fact that we are healing our trauma, our own unresolved trauma, and learning how to communicate differently with this, with this sacred rage. When we are using that with our families now, when we're modeling that for them, I think it does create healing, even if they can't always be there to watch us do this, to watch us go through the healing process. It changes our energy, it changes how we show up and it changes how we can hold them and their anger and in their emotions, and that, I think of itself, is incredibly healing. So I say that for all the parents out there who have like, oh, I've done it, it's too late, now I can't go back. I I think that there's still time. There's always still time. There is.
Speaker 1:I I feel there's like a slight shift in the way I talk to my, my adult children. I just noticed it this week and I'm more assertive about my feelings and thoughts and expressing them and not holding them in. So yeah, so much growth.
Speaker 3:And in real time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, should we move on? All right? The next kind of anger that we can have is passive, aggressive anger. I don't like this one. This is this is one that is one of my pet peeves. I don't have this one. I don't think I do. I.
Speaker 1:I'm very conscious of it. I'm trying not to do it, but yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:Well, this one is characterized with subtle digs, using sarcasm, stonewalling or veiled insults, so insulting somebody but making it sound like a joke. And this one's rooted in a fear of direct conflict or a lack of emotional awareness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me this one feels like I am putting you down because I don't love myself that much, and if I put you down in subtle ways, I get to feel better about myself.
Speaker 3:Or I don't know how to express my feelings, or even really know what my feelings are, or I don't know how to express my feelings, or even really know what my feelings are. So it's coming off as sarcasm. Just kidding.
Speaker 1:Can't you take a joke?
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I hate that.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, I hate it too. I was joking. Yeah, okay, sorry, I haven't been through that at all.
Speaker 2:I haven't been through that at all.
Speaker 3:That's very funny, oh boy. Okay, moving on, let's look at self-directed anger. Oh God, this one I have, Okay, this one. I find a lot in clients as well who are afraid to express their anger. So the anger becomes, rather than being turned outwards towards other people, you turn it inwards and have self-hatred, self-directed anger. So this is characterized by feelings of guilt, by self-criticism, self-harm or rumination. You know those ruminating thoughts oh, I could have done it better, I should have done it this way. How could I have? And this one's often rooted in shame, perfectionism and having a harsh inner critic, beating yourself up for a mistake that happened maybe forever ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the, the internal dialogue that we, as awakening and aware people, have become oh so familiar with that. Oh, you're so stupid, or how could you have done that?
Speaker 2:or idiot yeah, or you have a conversation with somebody and after you've moved on, you keep replaying what you should have said yeah.
Speaker 3:I still do that. I have clients and if I'm not satisfied, if I didn't feel like it went the way I expected it to go, or I didn't give it like my absolute best, for whatever reason, like I, let me give you an example. I had a reading the other day, um, and it was an Akashic record reading, and there the the person I was reading had this shell around them, or it was protective energy, and it's really really really hard as an intuitive, to fight through their own protective mechanisms, which is created through their nervous system, through their energy, so that they can stay safe. Right, it's really hard to break through those things and it's not my fault I didn't create that for that person and it's not my responsibility to break through those things. And it's not my fault I didn't create that for that person and it's not my responsibility to bust through their own defense mechanisms to give them the messages that they want. Okay, when you're in the Akashic records, they're getting what they can handle. And I have to step aside and be like, okay, this is the information coming through. It's not my job to force it, it's just my job to deliver it gently so it can work with your natural energy and feed into the way you're going to need it delivered to you.
Speaker 3:But I had this reading. I couldn't fight through her defenses and I left it feeling so angry at myself for not doing better. And yet it wasn't my job to do better. It was my job to deliver the messages and trust that whatever she got is what she needed for her highest good.
Speaker 3:But yeah, I spent the entire day ruminating over it the entire day with the inner critic coming out saying oh, you're terrible at this, you're such a fraud, you could have done better. And fighting with that that feeling, and I I did. I went to chat GPT, because that's our therapist right now and it was so helpful to see like, oh okay, this isn't me, this isn't a me thing. I can kind of let down my defenses here and maybe let the anger go a little bit. And I have a feeling that this is coming up right now for a reason and that there's going to be some inner work, probably some inner child healing, around, that that's going to need to happen in order for me to finally get to the other side of it. But just to have the awareness of this kind of self-directed anger that's coming up, because that one can kind of slip through the cracks. You don't see it.
Speaker 1:Right, it's so subtle.
Speaker 3:Yet so harmful. All all right, let's look at the next type of anger, chronic or resentful anger, and this one is characterized by long-term bitterness, holding a grudge and reoccurring irritation, and this is often rooted in repressing your emotions and feeling unheard or unacknowledged for years. Oh, I have a friend with this one too. I am the friend.
Speaker 2:The truth comes out. That was quick too, comes out.
Speaker 1:That was quick too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was doing a journaling exercise a couple of nights ago. You ask two questions and you go into a meditative state to see what the answers are. And question number one is who am I before? Who am I now? Is question number two. And wherever you land is where you land. And so the first question who am I before?
Speaker 2:I traveled back in time to the time when I was a mom working full time, taking care of three kids and a home and a family. And boy was there a lot of repressed anger at that time. It was very much about me having to take care of everybody else, and I was always angry about that, the fact that I didn't get to take care of myself. But and this was really interesting I also had this need to be needed.
Speaker 2:So there was no win for the people in my life. I was either angry because they need something from me, or whenever there was a lull and I had quiet time in my life, I would be wracked with guilt for not being productive, for not doing something, and I'd be angry because they're not meeting me. So I can feel like I'm being a good mom or doing the things I need to to get done and so it was just really interesting insight that I was so very angry almost all the time. But of course as a mom you have to put on that that happy smile. But I am a hundred percent sure my kids picked up on that as well as my husband during those years.
Speaker 3:Yeah, kids also, I've realized, will really trigger the inner child there. A few years ago there was one situation where my daughter needed something from me and I remember feeling the same kind of anger and resentment of being mom and having to work full time and having to do like all of the house and the animals and and I still deal with this anger. But at this one particular moment I remember looking at my daughter I think at the time she was like seven and she said something to me and I thought I heard myself think this very loudly what makes you think you deserve that, when I didn't get that when I was a child.
Speaker 3:I never said it out loud, but I was like Whoa, look at the inner child coming out Like she's triggering, she's asking for something I didn't receive and is triggering the inner child in me that said you didn't get that. You need to go resolve that. You need to go give that to yourself. And that was a really eye opening moment for me and it really taught me a lot about being a mom and how your children are going to trigger the most wounded parts of yourself so you can heal them and you can come back and give to yourself what you never got, but also give that to your family. Love that, so that resentful anger, I think comes with so much information and so much healing potential and a lot of times it's about setting up appropriate boundaries to support you going through those years.
Speaker 2:That seems like a minefield, though. Setting up appropriate boundaries with your family. That needs things from you. You know, and I have just this deep sense of responsibility that you know, if somebody asks me or I'm expected to do something, it makes me so uncomfortable not to do it because I just I want to make sure that I'm here doing what I came here to do. So whether that be healthy or not, I haven't figured that out yet. So whether that be healthy or not, I haven't figured that out yet. But yeah. So how do you set boundaries with your family but also honor their needs?
Speaker 3:I think that's where we come back to healthy communication about right, the open and assertive anger.
Speaker 3:Coming back to one you have to know and understand your boundaries and your needs and you have to be able to ask for them with clear communication.
Speaker 3:And does that mean your needs are gonna get 100% met all of the time? Probably not. But if you can figure out a way to team up with your family and figure out how we can get everyone's needs met, even a little bit, then that's progress at least in the right direction and it opens up a level of communication A lot of families don't have and it fosters healthy communication with the children and with the adults, and the children get to see the adults actually being a human and needing something and what's teaching the kids. Oh my God, when I grow up I'm going to figure out how to communicate with my family to set up needs that are going to be appropriate for me too. When you're learning to befriend your anger and you're learning about where your needs haven't been met, what boundaries you need, it's going to be messy for a little while as you're figuring it out and giving yourself permission to let it be a little messy.
Speaker 2:There are going to be some difficult conversations, some uncomfortableness, and that's okay.
Speaker 3:So let's move on to number seven, judgmental or moral anger. Now, this one is characterized as anger at perceived injustices, unfairness or violation of values, and this one's often rooted in a strong moral compass that can be rigid or self-righteous. When I see this one, I actually think about like the collective anger, about something, like the rage that you feel about injustices in our government or stuff yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm there, I've been there, I'm just kind of letting it you know, I don't know absorb into everything. What do you mean by that? Not trying to think about it all the time? Just let it be there and you know, I, I, I, I acknowledge it's there you know, but I'm not going to get angry about it. There's no need to anymore.
Speaker 3:I think this kind of anger can be, can move mountains in society when we're witnessing injustice or something that feels unfair or there's a violation in our cultural values people who really befriend this kind of anger. It can move mountains and it puts people into action to make a difference in the world. And I think that could be incredibly healthy when channeled in that way. But also for those of us who are getting angry and just to get angry and to bitch about it on the sidelines, we're not moving mountains, we're not making different, a difference in the world, we're not changing anything. So there's almost like, in my opinion, there's like, if you're going to get angry about it, move the anger like do something, do something anger, otherwise we have to let it go.
Speaker 3:And we and I I really, truly believe that it's going to be rooted in something that you didn't get as a child. It always comes back to like inner child If you're feeling like something is really injustice where were there injustices in your life? Where was it that you felt you were treated unfairly? And when we go back and we heal those parts of ourselves, we collect those fragmented pieces, we kind of lose the steam to feel like we need to turn our anger outward, onto the world and the perceived injustices that are happening around us, and we can create a little bit more internal peace. I want to say another thing about this, because one of the examples of this is feeling enraged when someone lies or betrays you or portrays your trust.
Speaker 2:That's just a normal reaction to that kind of a situation. Yeah, and that can lead into the anger that is chronic if you're not careful with it. I've seen that before. Have you with clients that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely absolutely where they've been betrayed. Um, for example, I worked with a woman who had recently been divorced because her husband was cheating on her. And boy did she have a lot of anger with good reason, I could see, you know. And this whole divorce was changing everything in her life and part of her journey was to do healing sessions, which she did on a regular basis with me. As she worked through this whole situation and I mean it was probably a couple of years before she really came out the other side and just had a magical life Sometimes it can take a while to work through it, but intentionally work throughing it will help. You don't want to get stuck there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a hard one. That's a hard because you can't control other people's actions, but it still affects you and you still have every right to feel angry, all the rage that you feel around it. And that becomes incredibly layered when you're working with that kind of anger, because it's often related to something in your past, and it's also related to something that has nothing to do with your past. And there's also this element where we come back to that self-criticism of this internal anger at yourself. Or how, how did I not see this? How could I have let this happen? How can I have been so stupid? And so we're peeling back so many layers of anger, which does take time, and a level of forgiveness for yourself, a level of forgiveness for the other person who was involved not condoning, not agreeing with their actions or how they treated you right, letting go of the anger that you're holding onto. That's keeping the energetic tie between you and that other person who betrayed your trust.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you think about the choices there. Do I always protect my heart and never be vulnerable with anyone? Is I'm afraid of being hurt and live a very lonely, secluded life? Or do I risk opening my heart, knowing that there could be betrayal in the future and so it's scary either way?
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, let's look at the eighth and final type of anger that we're going to talk about today Defensive anger. This one is characterized by reactivity, deflection or lashing out when feeling threatened, often rooted in insecurity and trauma, and feeling misunderstood, and this could look like being given some sort of feedback from someone and perceiving it as criticism and responding aggressively.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we've all been there with that one. I know I have. Oh yeah, and sometimes it could just be like a little comment just hits you the wrong way or, like you said, triggers a childhood problem and all of a sudden you are on the defense.
Speaker 3:I was just thinking about an example. I can laugh about it now, but it was just over the summer. My, my family and I went, went traveling. We went to Colorado and on our way back, like I'm dehydrated from the travel, my skin is dry, I feel gross because I haven't been in my normal environment and I was feeling really insecure about my body. As we're driving home, I have my feet up on the dashboard and my feet are grossly dry.
Speaker 3:Sorry for anyone who has got feet phobia, but I was not. I was a lizard skin. I had lizard skin and I felt disgusting and my husband just made a comment. He just looked at me and said oh wow, your feet are really dry and I lost my shit. I was like don't you ever comment about my body again? I like I went full like demon on his ass. I was, did not handle it very well and I think I just was lost in the anger for a good 30 minutes before I was like oh, wow, I'm feeling deeply insecure about myself and that comment he made felt like judgment and criticism against my body, but it wasn't. It was just an observation that I took incredibly personally.
Speaker 1:That you already observed. You know yeah.
Speaker 3:Like come on. But yeah, I was quick to get angry, quick to defend myself and very reactive and lashed out.
Speaker 2:I bet he doesn't comment on your feet anymore. No, no.
Speaker 1:I'm not allowed to.
Speaker 3:No, I think he'll think twice before commenting on my body. I think, I, I think I upset him and scared him with that. He was kind of like what just happened? Where did we go?
Speaker 2:Yeah, vacation can be a time when those anger demons can come up yes, yes, you're exhausted.
Speaker 1:Your defenses are low it's been a long week. This weekend we were, we went for a little getaway and my husband, like we stayed in a hotel that had a lot of energy, a lot of residual energy in it, and we both could feel it and it was making me physically ill and it was making him moody and quiet and I was, so I was getting angry and more angry about it. I'm like listen, I don't feel normal. I need you to be normal. And I didn't realize that we were being affected so much by the energy of the hotel until the next morning, so I was giving them all sorts of shit. I was so pissed. I'm like you need to be fucking normal right now, because I can't handle this. I am not normal and you need to be normal. I forget where I was going with that.
Speaker 2:but yeah, Can you work through anger while you're in the middle of it?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:How do you do that?
Speaker 3:So this is messy I. This is something that I've been working on over the past couple of months. Anger is energy that needs to be moved. Anger does not do well with repression because it will eat away at you and it will turn inward and it will become dis-ease Dis-ease or it'll manifest itself in physical form in your body. I think we're afraid to express anger in the moment because it can be destructive and scary, but anger needs space. It needs space to move through the body.
Speaker 3:So I can give you what I was doing while I was moving through my big bout of anger. I swear to you, I woke up every single day furiously angry about my life, furiously angry about my history, my childhood, and it was like nothing I was doing to suppress or like, pretend like it wasn't, there, was not working. It was just on the surface, ready to explode at all moments. Luckily, I have the privilege of my children going to school every day and me getting to stay home. So every day when they left, I went and did an activity that helped me move through the anger, and that activity sometimes looked like really high intensity exercise. Sometimes it looked like throwing a legitimate temper tantrum I'm talking two-year-old temper tantrum on the floor, kicking and screaming, wailing. Sometimes when I'm around people it looked like me making fists or shaking my hands or jumping up and down and just saying the words.
Speaker 3:I'm feeling angry because that's moving physically, moving anger from my body, and it's also communicating with my family. Hey, I have an emotion right now that I'm dealing with. It's not directed at anyone, but I'm saying I'm feeling angry right now and this is how I'm going to express it. There's also things that you can do, like screaming in a pillow We've heard of that one or punching a pillow. I hesitate to do anything that looks aggressive or physically harming, just because what's the difference when you're in an angry state from doing it to a pillow and doing it to something else? So my tactic has been moving through the anger by using my body, through jumping, through shaking, through screaming, through temper tantrums and eventually, almost every single time after that, anger has started to move through my physical body. What I come to, the emotion, and it's usually grief or sadness, and then there would be crying before it was the full release where I can come back to a more high vibrational state. Did that answer your question?
Speaker 2:Yes, it did. Yeah, I like all of those suggestions. I used to have a punching bag in my basement and I had boxing gloves so I wouldn't hurt myself, and that was really, really helpful. It really could help me release that anger quickly if I was very active. For me, that being aggressive really really helped Because in my mind I always have to be the good girl who behaves well and when I went and had time with my punching bag it almost like gave me permission to to be aggressive about my feelings and own that shadow part of myself that wanted to kick and wanted to punch, and it was doing it in a way that you know I would never do that to another human or animal or anything. Because this punching bag it was almost like a sacred space just for me to be able to release that and not have to be Miss Perfect or Miss Nice. It was a safe place for that.
Speaker 3:In my experience, it's not enough just to use my body. I have to also intellectually understand where this anger is coming from. Otherwise it's just moving the anger, but really with no story or no understanding of it. So the if there's no understanding of it, how can there be a resolve of it? A lot of times during my temper tantrums, um, I would yell to the world what I'm feeling angry about and I would have the dialogue of what is really coming up for me. What is really this anger about, or what is the surface level anger about? Even Before I could get to some of that underlining, like my needs aren't being met.
Speaker 3:Right now I'm feeling misunderstood. Where in my history have I felt misunderstood? Well, here's a memory that comes up and then I could go in and like have this entire dialogue that walks me through surface level anger being expressed to the body, to really intellectually and deeply understanding where this anger is really truly coming from. So I can then have the emotional release of that anger. I feel grief because I didn't get my needs met as a child, and then I can give myself what I needed. In those moments I can go back and be like you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve any of that little version of Candace, and I can give myself what I truly needed in those moments the love, the compassion, maybe the witnessing, maybe the validation of the experience that I had had, so that I can move full circle from anger to healing.
Speaker 2:It's never about the anger alone. There's always more underneath it, along with it. So working through the anger so you can dive into the full spectrum of emotions and understanding the root causes is so valuable.
Speaker 3:What's interesting, too, what I've learned, is when you start opening up the door to a certain emotion like anger, one that you wouldn't feel, didn't allow yourself to feel could be any emotion. But once you start opening the door and looking at it and saying, oh, anger, I see you, I feel you. Of course you felt that way Makes so much sense, your nervous system goes, oh, I get to feel that like that's okay. And then it starts cracking the door open a little bit wider, a little bit wider, a little bit wider. And then that emotion ends up being the one that you're focusing on the most for a little while, because that emotion's like freedom.
Speaker 3:I get to be felt, okay, I'm going to come up here, okay, I'm going to show you where I need healing over here, and it's like you're signaling to your body Ah, we now get to be friends. And so for me, over the last month, that was coming up continuously, every day, because I was sitting with it every day, giving it what it needed, every single day, until I could finally move through the large majority of this anger that was needing to be felt and come out of the other side feeling clear about where this anger was, clear about what I need and understanding how to move forward with that anger in a way that is supportive for me and supportive for my family.
Speaker 1:You know, I just keep thinking about the dream that I woke up from yesterday morning where I was in that state of anger, absolute anger. I was angry in my dream for for hurting my daughter, for not being able to express what I wanted to express and not and her not expressing her feelings. And waking up and and moving through that anger and realizing I'm suppressing a lot. I suppress so much and now I need to work through that and go through and figure out what it is I'm all suppressing and do a lot of healing from there. I just I love how our, our lives correlate with our topics for our show. I just love it. It's really neat how it all ties in together.
Speaker 3:The fact that you have a lump on your thyroid, jennifer. This is the area of the throat chakra. This is where we're not expressing ourselves, and when we're as energy healers, we've all felt this. When we're doing energy healing, this is the one chakra that gets clogged up because we don't express, we don't say.
Speaker 3:It's like unsaid words, unsaid emotions, and it does manifest itself in physical form in some way or another, and yours is physically manifested as a lump on your thyroid, and the fact that you felt so much pain in that area while working through that specific emotion is like I'm flabbergasted. It's like a beautiful textbook way of describing and showing how this can manifest for us. And one of the best ways to help us work through our anger is to fucking express it. Yeah, stop shoving it down and pretending like it doesn't exist, and not telling somebody that you feel anger, even if that somebody is yourself. Your words, your feelings. They want to be expressed, finding ways to express that, like I did through yelling at the universe when no one's around so no one can hear me, or journaling, or telling somebody that you know you can trust and that will be a safe space for you to express that the anger becomes a bridge that you can use to get to who you really are.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. Yeah it's, and, like we said earlier, it's using that anger for self-empowerment rather than being the victim, and using it as a bridge to learn more about yourself and honor yourself. It's so powerful.
Speaker 3:It's so powerful, no-transcript little bit deeper, in a safe way, at where this anger is coming from. And I also want to invite you, if you're wanting to dig a little bit deeper into your feelings, into your anger, in a safe environment. Rose and myself, candice, both offer private sessions of healing. Those are really incredible ways for you to dive a little bit deeper into the subconscious emotions that are coming up, to work with those emotions on an energetic level that feels safe to your nervous system and safe to your brain and body, so that you can start to relieve some of those emotions and feel a little bit lighter and a little bit more clear. So you can find those links in the show notes rose-marielowcom or awakeningswithcandicecom, and search some of our supportive services in there to help you do the healing work. All right, everyone, thank you so much for your time and we wish you the best of luck on your healing journey until next time. Bye, oh, oh, oh.
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