Aussie English
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AE 1412 - The Goss: What Are Our Plans for 2026
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*** Music from Artlist - License Number 524222 ***
And this is another episode of Aussie English, the number one place out for anyone and everyone wanting to learn Australian English. So today I have a guest episode for you where I sit down with my old man, my father, Ian Smithson, and we talk about the week's news, whether locally down under here in Australia or non-locally, overseas in other parts of the world. Okay, and we sometimes also talk about whatever comes to mind, right? If we can think of something interesting to share with you guys related to us or Australia, we also talk about that in The Goth. So these episodes are specifically designed to try and give you content about many different topics where we're obviously speaking in English and there are multiple people having a natural and spontaneous conversation in English. So it is particularly good to improve your listening skills. In order to complement that though, I really recommend that you join the podcast membership or the Academy membership at ozbeenglish.com.au where you will get access to the full transcripts of these episodes, the PDFs, the downloads, and you can also use the online PDF reader to read and listen at the same time. Okay, so if you really, really want to improve your listening skills fast, get the transcript, listen and read at the same time, keep practicing, and that is the quickest way to level up your English. Anyway, I've been rabbiting on a bit, I've been talking a bit. Let's just get into this episode, guys. Smack the bird, and let's get into it. Well, it's been a been a little while. Hang on. Haven't released any uh Goss episodes in a little while. I know, I know. So what's the Goss tad? What have you been up to? Both of us. We can have a chat to what you've been up to, what we've been up to, and then maybe what our plans are for 2026. Ooh, plans for 2026. Because you've got a few, you're organized. Well, you got more than me.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I'm not sure organised is the right word, but so how was Christmas and New Year's?
SPEAKER_01Did you get messed up?
SPEAKER_02No, no, I was sick for half of Christmas. As you know, I missed Christmas Eve, Christmas Day. Um it was just head cold, but it's one of those things where you don't want to go into a crowd of people coughing and sneezing and spreading your viruses around.
SPEAKER_01Well, we had the trouble, like my uncle's been experiencing um cancer, right? And he's a very small thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so he's sort of immunocompromised. Yes. And uh don't want to hang around with two 90 plus year olds as well. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, my grandparents, yeah, so they're in their 90s. It must be one of those things where I d I can't imagine what it's like getting to that age and how you view illness. Like, do they just see people who have got a cold and it and just ignore it and just don't think about it, or are you seeing it like that could kill me if I get it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, you're probably not gonna get killed with a cold, but you don't want to get the flu. Yeah, yeah. And the trouble is you don't know whether somebody who's just got a cold symptom actually has COVID, the flu. Yeah. And and are not suffering terribly.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, well, you never know until you you get it and find out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. But it is interesting. I I think about Nan and Grandpa, they're still around 95 and 92, right? And just the older you get, the more I think you realise how different older people view the world, what their goals are, what they're thinking about, what they're I expect, um you know, we're talking about planning for this year, but I expect when you get to 95 you don't really have long-term plans. Well, that's what Grandpa said. I've chatted to him about it before. Um he was like, funnily enough, I think I sat down with him once and was just like, you know, when he got to 90, what's it like? What's it like being 90 years old? You know? I I think I said to him, what's it like knowing that you've probably outlived everyone else in this room? You know, except maybe Nana. Like you guys are now at an age where the average person in this room is gonna be dead in this late 70s, early 80s, right? And you're 10 years older than that. Yeah, exactly. And and just being like, Does that feel weird? Does it feel like you've achieved something? You know, and he was just like, No one wants to talk about it. He's I remember saying to him, like, Are you afraid of death of dying? You know, is that something you think about more? He's like, Yeah, I think about it all the time. And he's like, I don't mind talking about it at all. And yet no one else wants to talk about it because I'm old. And you're like, it's it is one of those interesting things, isn't it? That's it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you never you never ask a blind person what it's like not to be able to see, and I'm sure they're perfectly happy to talk about it because for them it's just normal.
SPEAKER_01See, I would yeah, depending on what kind of blind, right? There's a blind during life where you were you could see originally or never be able to see. Or never being able to see, yeah. And I would definitely want to know what the experiential um you know, what it would be like to experience that because it's just so fine to me. And how I guess the the question on the other end of that would be, what's it like to see? And you'd be like, fuck, I don't even know how to start describe the colour red. Yeah, that's the idea. I know. So it'd be I feel like it would go both ways, but I remember it was interesting chatting to grandpa about that stuff, and he was just like, you kind of just end up living every day as it comes and just enjoying it and not really thinking about like, oh, I'll do this thing and try and aim for five years. Like, as I told you um a few minutes ago, I'm got a bunch of cacti from home. You know, I'm a bit plant crazy. And some of these cacti Or I'm just crazy. Some of these cacti can live for hundreds of years. Yes. And so it's the kind of thing where I get a bunch of these cacti and you they're very slow growing, but they're beautiful things, but it's like I'm gonna have to put in effort for the next few decades I potentially with this thing. And I'm like, you know, it's funny, I sat there and I was doing I'm like, you know, Nan and Grandpa probably enjoy this, and then I'm thinking, no. What are they gonna be like? What how old am I gonna grow?
SPEAKER_02I know your grandpa's old, you know, like enjoys plants and particularly bromeliads and things where you know you can but you see what you're what you're generating in a few months, yeah. You split up existing ones and repot them and stuff and uh and they've grown into something that looks new and flowering within months.
SPEAKER_01So we have to decide, I guess, on that time period.
SPEAKER_02How long do you need? Well, it's like yeah, if you're in your eighties or nineties, you don't buy go out and buy a pet cockatoo. It's gonna live for a hundred years.
SPEAKER_01I was thinking about that the other day, funnily enough. I'm like, you know what, they are pretty cool birds, but then I even at my age now, I'm thinking if I bought one of them, it'd outlive a young one, it'd outlive you. Yeah, more than likely, unless it died of something, you know, a disease or something. But if it died of old age, it's gonna get to sixties at least in in captivity, right? So I'd have to be over a hundred or around a hundred to see it out. Um, so it is interesting. Yeah, there's a guy I follow, a free shout out to a YouTube channel called Arid Zine. Like Arid is in A-R-I-D, and then Xine Z-I-N. Mega Zine, yeah. He's really cool. Australian guy from Sydney loves um outdoor plants like those plants. Yeah, he's really obsessed with the um cordisiform plants and the pacchy uh is it pachypoides? I can't remember what pacyderms, like the these plants from places like Africa and Madagascar that are adapted to living in these really harsh, arid environments, and they grow like a fat base that's very water conservative and everything. And there's some plants that he has and he shows you the sort of naturally occurring form that you see. Though there'd be these plants that look like a small shrub or grass, and he'll show you the mature form, and it's like a tree with all this grass at the top, and he's like, That's 400 years old. He's like, I know that they're never gonna get to that, and in fact, if I handed this down to my children's children's children, exactly, they might get to this stage, but he's like, It's still cool growing them from seed and just knowing that you started from scratch. So I imagine that's how Nana and Grandpa would view growing cacti out now. It's sort of like I'm not gonna see them get anywhere near mature. No. So what do you think about getting older? Have you completely changed the things that you think about since retiring? Do you still have long-term plans? Have you noticed your plans getting shorter? No.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think I'm I'm probably still at this age where I you know, long-term for me has always been five to ten years. You don't have 40-year plans because it's well you can have them, but they're a waste of more than likely. Um so every then that sort of five to ten year bracket, I still have those. Yeah. Um but you know, they're you start to um you start to sorry, we just got an interloper.
SPEAKER_01My mum's coming in. What are you after, mum? Just interrupting to get it.
SPEAKER_02Stealing toys for the great for the grandchildren.
SPEAKER_00We're looking for Joey's new baby.
SPEAKER_02All right, go for it. Oh, wow, is she gonna go swimming?
SPEAKER_00Show Mama.
SPEAKER_01Oh, alright. Alright, so Joey's got new bath bathers because apparently we forgot to pack them the other day. Yes, when she went to a swimming lesson. And I harassed Mum to buy some new ones. And now they live here. Yeah, exactly. We pay for them, we own them. She's got a blanket over a box in front of me here. Isn't that to protect it from the sun so the boxes don't fade? Correct. It's not the boxes fading, it's the contents.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the puzzle boxes. That's what I meant, yeah. Yeah. Uh don't get mixed up.
SPEAKER_01You know the light comes around the sides as well, Mummy. Ooh, shh, shh. That's a tiny little blanket.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, I look, I yeah, we've got, and we're talking about, you know, plans for this year. We've got an overseas trip plan for this year and another one for the year following. We can do a special episode. But but I think the you know, I'm probably now getting to the point going, I'm probably not going to be travelling overseas in ten years' time. You know, when I get to my late 70s, I'm probably not going to be travelling overseas. Um, mostly because you know you can't plan that your health is still going to be okay to do it. But also it's just the hassle and the expense. Um, and so there's plenty of things to do in Australia.
SPEAKER_01Um, so that's yeah, that's the Green Nomad way, isn't it? Yeah, pretty much. Once you get past your sixties in Australia, it's sort of like yourself a van or a caravan and off you go. Well, you've got the van, so that's all sorted.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, which is which is one of the things we did um recently. Um your mother and I went on a sort of three-week trip up to northern New South Wales camping. Yep. In the van, if you can call that camper van.
SPEAKER_01We did an episode on that, didn't we? Where you fitted out this camper van, the delica from Japan that you imported. Yes. So give people a quick update on that. I mean, there might there's probably a bunch of people who heard that episode.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, it's pretty much done now. So it's um it's it's really set up as a one-person camper van. Um but it doesn't have any cooking inside. The cook the kitchen is out the back, so you open the back door and out the back. Out the back. And uh so using the the kitchen out there. So if it's raining, you're fucked. If it's raining, well you're going without the door, the the the rear door opens upwards, so it acts like a roof. Um but if it's not windy and raining, if it's windy and raining, then you're some awning to protect yourself under there, or there's a little tensor.
SPEAKER_01Well, there's an awning on the side, but not at the back.
SPEAKER_02I mean I've I've thought about it, but the um the challenge with doing those things is that you know you spend twenty minutes setting the thing up. In the rain and the wind. In the rain and the wind. And then if it's too windy, you've got to take it down anyway. Yeah, yeah. You're not gonna go to sleep and sleep soundly when you start there. There have been times, sorry, I'm just looking at this falcon flying past. Umce a bird over there. Once a bird, you can't yeah, something moves in the sky and your eye just goes straight to it. Um But yeah, so there have been a couple of times where I've been out camping and it's you know it's been pouring with rain. I think I'm not gonna get outside and set up the table and the stove and something. So it's just can of bees. Yeah, I've got a um I've got some bread and cold meat, I'll just make myself a sandwich. Yeah. Well, I guess you just you make sure. You just go out and grab those and then you can you know build them indoors. So other than that, it's really just a a mobile bed. Um I just got sick of camping in tents where you uh You had to construct it. You had to construct it. Whereas in this case, I can just you know literally pull over on the side of the road if I want to and go to sleep. Is the bed or you can't do that much in Australia?
SPEAKER_01Or you have to unfold it and construct it inside the car.
SPEAKER_02No, for me, for one person it's it's there. Yeah. Um you know, just sort of one side as a like a a narrow single bed. Um it expands into a double, but then if you expand in a double, it fills the whole back. You can't sit there. Yeah, yeah. So I've made a sort of L shape, but then the the gap that fills up the L into a rectangle um slides out. So you can two people can sit in it quite comfortably with a table and you know, do whatever they want to do. But it's um uh but then once you've made it into a double bed, then there's nothing else. And that's the challenge when you get to uh our age and you've got to get up for the two o'clock toilet stop, the the one who's away from the door has to climb over the other one. So it's sort of like most of the time both of you end up going sort of the opportunity.
SPEAKER_01Can't you just cut a small hole in the side of the van or something with a hose?
SPEAKER_02Just get a bucket.
SPEAKER_01What is it? What is it called again? The tray that you get in a hospital?
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, the bed pan.
SPEAKER_01Just get that, Dad. You'll be fine. No.
SPEAKER_02Just empty it, wake up in the morning and step in it.
SPEAKER_01Uh so it's been holding up well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's going well. I'm actually going away next weekend just down to Portland. For those of you who are not familiar with Victoria's sort of the end of the Great Ocean Road, isn't it? Yeah, geography, it's the the last large town on the coast of Victoria going west. There's a before you get to Adelaide or to South Australia. Yeah, before you get to South Australia. Why are you going to Portland? Um there's a pelagic trip. Pelagic bird trip. Exactly. Everything comes back to birds and photography.
SPEAKER_01It's always a pelagic bird trip. Yeah. If it's a coastal town several hours away from where we currently are, there's pretty much only one reason to go.
SPEAKER_02There are other reasons, but going to the beach is okay. But yeah, given that we live close to a good beach, there's no point in driving for four hours to go to another beach.
SPEAKER_01Well, the ones in Portland, aren't they? Like they've got cliffs, don't they, at that point? You're almost getting to the Great Australian bike.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yes.
SPEAKER_01So what else have you got planned? You said you've got a few trips planned for this year. Anything else big? Anything around the house? Anything closer to home?
SPEAKER_02Um look, you know, I'll just do a few bits and pieces here and there. Yeah. Um just, you know, birding and photography trips, weekenders, or you know, two or three days in the middle of the week.
SPEAKER_01Well, you did your bird book last year and you said you were planning to sort of go around and photo photograph every um national park in Victoria. That's right.
SPEAKER_02Uh I've just it's too ambitious to do in a year. Um, but just a an ongoing project that'll start of Well, you've already smashed probably all of them anyway, right?
SPEAKER_01So you could potentially go into your bank and vote photos.
SPEAKER_02There are a few that have got new parts to it that I haven't visited that have become been incorporated into national parks. Uh but the I think I've probably visited every national park in Victoria, but I've never intentionally done it, if that makes sense, and decided to photograph things while I'm there.
SPEAKER_01What are the rules now though? Like for this book you said you wanted to put together with photos of each of these national parks, what's the criteria? What's the what's the aim? What's the theme? Um and do you have to do it all in a single year or for now? No, it'll just be from now on.
SPEAKER_02And and it may never even be a book, it might just be I'll probably restart the YouTube channel, which I haven't done anything on for you know since the first year of COVID, really.
SPEAKER_00Give it a shout out. What is it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, um Ian Smith and Photography. Yep. Um there's probably 70 or 80 episodes on there.
SPEAKER_00You find dad yaking away?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, find dad yakking away out in the out in the bush photographing stuff. Um but yeah, I guess got um disillusioned. Well, firstly, once COVID came in, because all the plans were just went out the window for a year.
SPEAKER_01Here we are at Ocean Grove Beach again. For the tenth week in the room. Which isn't a bad thing, but five minutes down the road.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and it was but the um the other thing was that you know having not posted for a year, um YouTube in their infinite wisdom just killed advertising on my channel. And you know, then you have to and funnily enough, it's harder to get the points value back to reinstitute than it is to start from scratch, which is just sort of bizarre. Uh it's weird. I didn't understand it anyway, because I'm st I still get I still get you know hundreds of hits a week. Not that that's gonna make any money for me, but I still get a dollar every yeah. Yeah, exactly. But I still get the hundreds of hits a week on the existing yeah, existing videos. The Evergreen content. And and but it's it's just YouTube's algorithm is you've got to be producing frequently and regularly.
SPEAKER_01Uh well they incentivize it, otherwise you need to be getting a lot of views, because I'm sort of on and off with my YouTube channel, but I've never been demonetized. And I think it's because I'm still bringing in a certain amount of views every single month. Yes, but you haven't gone a year without producing something, have you?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, sometimes, several times, I think. Yeah, so I just looked at it.
SPEAKER_02I basically thought, oh well, stuff it, yeah. Why would I bother? Not that I was doing it for the money anyway, but that was just another thing. I just cherry on top, right? I got pissed off with YouTube rather than pissed off with the idea of creating videos and putting them on YouTube. Start an OnlyFans dad. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, people would pay me a lot of money not to take off my clothes.
SPEAKER_01Well, but OnlyFans was initially made apparently for you to just be creating content only for your fans. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, people had to pay to see your content.
SPEAKER_01People would be disappointed, Dad. They'd be like, What the hell? This guy's just running photography crap like that.
SPEAKER_02He's just talking bullshit with his son.
SPEAKER_00Get your kid off of me.
SPEAKER_02No, don't.
SPEAKER_01Please don't.
SPEAKER_02Um Yeah, so I I might do that and just you know do a yeah, a video for each one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um but so is it more about doing it for the sake of doing it than you actually being like, I want to document these places for YouTube and everything?
SPEAKER_02It's it's more of an excuse, I think, just uh create a project to go out and do something. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah, the photographing. For the sake of doing it right now. Yeah, the 2024 where I had the um the project of photographing as many birds as I could that year. Yeah. Um without going completely stupid. I mean, I could have done five hundred if I'd spent fifteen thousand dollars on airfares and gone to you know a whole about five different places in northern Australia and stuff. What was the tally you got to? 307, I think. But I was the ambition was to do three hundred and sixty-six because it was a leap year. So you know one a day. One one four each day. It was never going to be one A day.
SPEAKER_01That's pretty easy for the first couple of months.
SPEAKER_02Oh well, I'd knock off a hundred in a week, but I could do a hundred in a day just around here. Yeah, yeah. Um but then the second hundred is harder and the third hundred is getting much harder, and then the four seven. Yeah, exactly. Um and yeah, so that but that was not particularly as a you know, a vanity project in terms of can I get as many birds as possible? But it was just an excuse to say, well, and that's going to force me to do thirty or forty birding trips. Yeah. Yeah, one-day trips, two day trips. I had three weeks driving around New South Wales and southern Queensland. So it was just something to do. Get out, do more walking, travel more. Um, and the national parks idea is the same thing. It's mostly to say, go to some places that I haven't been before, even in the in the national parks that I have. Like there's a few very large national parks where I've done some bits of them but not been to others. So uh it's an excuse to do that.
SPEAKER_01So, how do you plan these things out? Is this like I need to have a reason to get out of the house and move around and like see the world? And therefore, okay, now I'll have a plan, or is it more that you're like, I want to see this national park, how do I sort of create a bigger theme around it to sort of give myself some challenges this year? Like, how do you come at it? How does the or is it just random?
SPEAKER_02It's well, it's random. The national parks one is sort of obvious because it's you know it it's a finite thing. Yeah. Um there's forty-five of them. There's proposals to make another three, but I don't know. Well, one might get up after the other two weeks. You could do that in a month and a half. Um yeah, the forty-five. Yeah. You'd be exhausted, but you could do it. And I think I'd run out of money for fuel, so uh yeah, just trying to do it all that quickly. But um so yeah, it's just an excuse to do that. Uh get out, do something. Um no great plans for it at the moment. Um it'll probably be design a few trips to go to places where you can do a cluster of them in the one go rather than forty-five different trips. Um because you know, there's two or three of them within driving, you know, a half-day driving distance from here from our place where you go out for a morning, photograph a park, and then come home again. Or do we go the Yu Yangs? Uh, State Reserve. Oh, that doesn't count. Um the Otway National Park, Greater Otway National Park. There's uh Brisbane Rangers, which is only you know 45 minutes away. How thorough do you need to be?
SPEAKER_01Like when you say that, do you mean just get there and take a minimum of one photo?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, a minimum of well, try and try and take try and take try and take photos. It's to me, photography is about telling stories as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so um but have a collection of photos, it might be a handful, it might be ten, um, that actually tell a story about the place. Yeah. Um it could be and you know, each national park has its own reason for being a national park. Some of it is purely about conservating particular habitats. Others there's some history that are involved in it, and it's been created, like Point Nepean National Park on the other side of the bay, yeah. Um is not a particular habitat that's being saved because. Lots of other habitat around the peninsulas that are not in the national park.
SPEAKER_01Is that the first place that was colonized in Victoria?
SPEAKER_02Well that's just outside of where the National Park is. Yeah, okay. But it's the it includes the um quarantine centre that was quarantined when um sailing ships first arrived from Europe. So it was more that they had a whole bunch of Melbourne. A whole bunch of these sort of older buildings and then historically um history there because there were um um forts made with cannons protecting the um the heads, the opening to Port Phillip Bay. From the Japanese, right? Well, from the Russians initially before the wars. The submarines and then because the the forts were built before the war started and the and Russia was the big fear. Really? Um yeah. Uh following the Crimean War in in Europe. Yeah. Um Russia was the big fear up until um the First World War. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um and then Oh, so they were built that much f that much before.
SPEAKER_02Well, they built it they started building it, I think, in the eighteen eighties. Oh my god, okay. And and and then, you know, just kept fortifying it. And and ironically the the and I haven't got the detail in uh you know exactly on off the top of my head, but um the first shots fired other than the shooting of the prince in um in what became Yugoslavia, which started notionally started the First World War, yeah. Archduke Ferdinand. Um the first shots fired in anger in the First World War and the Second World War were both here. Really? Yeah. Yeah. At ships entering the the bay once war was declared. Yeah. Um and then ships forest. And they were they were firing on them to um stop them no to stop them coming in without being inspected. Yeah. Um so and there was and the person who fired the shot on I think it was either fired the shot or was a r it was uh there, a young sort of army officer or naval officer, I think you might have been, um was there in both the shots for the First World War and the Second World War. Wow. And it sort of thing weird, you know, how how weird this is with twenty-five years in between.
SPEAKER_01So what about other plans around the house? Anything closer to home that you've got for the year?
SPEAKER_02Um No, not really. Just uh no specific plans. Just get out and look at some national parks, do some driving around, do some pelagic birding trips. Going to Eden in New South Wales in March for another bird pelagic birding trip. And you get to Eastern. Well, uh all around the well, most of the coast of Australia, but the um southern New South Wales and um western Victoria um and southeastern South Australia are all very close to the um continental shelf. And so it's the where you get the continental shelf, the edge of the shelf, the drop-off in the sea um to deeper waters gets upwellings um of of colder water, uh, which brings extra nutrients to the surface, so there are a lot more there's a lot more life there, more fish, and therefore a lot of birds hang around there, and you can you can tell it's weird. You can be out, you know, it you can t take two hours um in a small boat um to get out to the shelf and see uh nothing other than sort of gulls and a few turns and things, and then all of a sudden coastal birds, and then all of a sudden you go, Oh, there's an albatross, and then there's another one, there's another one, and there are some smaller birds and stuff that are all just these oceanic birds. And it's as soon as you get close to the continental shelf. Yeah. So because it's close here, it's easy to get to, and you you don't need to spend squidlions of hours in a boat getting out there.
SPEAKER_00Oh well, probably a good point to stop. Thanks for hanging out, guys. We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Next time. You'll have to let us know what your plans are. Send me a message. Hope you hopefully you have a good 2023. See ya. Bye.