Breaking Free: Unmasking the Myth of Willpower

Do you feel that stubborn willpower should be sufficient to overcome pornography addiction, masturbation or casual hookups? 

We're here to help dispel that myth, sharing how this mentality often leads to self-blame and failure, creating a cycle of despair. The truth, which may surprise you, is that it's in these challenging times that we should invite divine intervention. We're not meant to go through this alone; God is ready to help and guide us towards a life of greater freedom. 

*This is an excerpt from a recent seminar with our Sacred by design team.  Join us as we explore the science behind pornography addiction, discussing how it hijacks the brain's reward system, leading to responses that are difficult to overcome on your own. We also emphasize the importance of being kind to oneself during recovery. 

Hear the inspiring story of Julie, a young woman who battled pornography and masturbation.  How she overcame the isolation she felt due to her same-sex attraction, and how seeking help allowed her to shift her perspective, realizing that she couldn't win this fight on her own.

Contact us today: If you have a question, comment, or need help, email us at info@regenerationministries.org

Free Resources for you!

👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:22

If I can just try and harder yeah, yeah, I've chewed this one a lot and and or fill in the blank If I can just, if I can just count the number of days, if I can just find the right book or worksheet, if I can just join this group, If I can just and and. What we know from working with lots of women is that sheer willpower alone, just relying on that try harder mentality, isn't enough to get to the deeper roots of things. And and it, it. It feels like a setup which is what is so hard to see that it sets up with this kind of mentality that it's all up to me to get out of it, and when I can't, or or if I fall, then it's all my fault. But both and swinging back and forth from from the two of those it also is, is a setup of putting yourself on this higher pedestal to fall from and and I can say, swing back and forth between those it gives.

Speaker 1 1:32

It gives people this false idea that I have to get to this certain level or I have to clean myself up enough before I come to God, when really these are the exact places where God is wanting you to invite him into, as counterintuitive as that might feel, these are the very places where God wants you to invite him in, so that he can not just get you out of, but walk you through. Walk you through into greater freedom. And one of the one of the reasons that we know that this is a myth is because pornography hijacks the reward system of your brain, that it trains the brain to respond to self-pleasure. So we want you to know that this isn't meant to be a cop out, but the truth is that you didn't get here on your own, so getting out is gonna need some help too.

Speaker 1 2:28

Mm-hmm, Right, so what do we suggest? You were shaped by people, circumstances that led you to manage your world in this way. You have a whole story that brought you to here, and so it'll take more of that people and circumstances to lead you out of it, and maybe this brings up some feelings, Maybe it brings up some relief, Maybe it brings up even some anger or frustration. We hope that you can find some compassion for yourself in the midst of it. Can we policy even there, yeah?

Speaker 2 3:11

It talk about being kind to yourself in this process. Like, how many times have we heard people just beat themselves? Oh, relentlessly and endlessly, because they didn't know how to be kind to themselves in this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 3:26

Yeah, yeah, this myself up a little bit more. If I can just try harder, I should know better. Right More to this and to open handed and saying, okay, god, I'm here again. Where do I go next? Can you be with me here right now, in this moment? Maybe we can even just do that right now. Tense yourself up and feel that, feel that reliance on yourself, feel that tension in yourself and then open your hands, take a deep breath and then open them up. What a difference, what a shift. That's kindness.

Speaker 1 4:07

There's just significant difference there, and we'll do that again and again and again and again. As many times as you've had those thoughts up coming down hard on yourself is as many times as we'll release it again and come back to be in open handed. So we hope for tonight, this moment right now. We hope for tonight and we hope, moving on from here, that we can come from a place not of condemning, not of conviction, but of honoring your story without shame and bringing a whole heap of compassion for yourself. So what does this look like in real life?

Speaker 1 4:46

We have a story of Julie, this young woman who was struggling with pornography and masturbation, and she was experiencing additional shame because she was attracted to women, and in her family not only was sex not talked about as a baseline, but also same sex attraction was something that could get you disowned from your family.

Speaker 1 5:15

So Julie thought if I just pray more, if I serve more at church, then my issue will change. And when, when that didn't work, she became anxious and helpless and in further isolation. So she reached out to us here at Regeneration for help and through that her perspective started to change. She could talk more freely about her struggles without feeling shame or condemnation. That alone is a huge win. She started to shift, realizing that this white knuckling, striving approach wasn't working for her. And while she understood there were things in her life that she wanted to change, there were also things in her life that led her to choose ways of coping like this in her world. And she understood that she wasn't trying to get out of taking responsibility for her choices, but understanding this was key to her, to understanding what her heart needed on a deeper level.