Reclaiming Sex Education: A Conversation with Kristen Miele

In this episode of Sacred by Design, we meet Kristen Miele, a sex educator passionate about equipping families with the language and tools to discuss sex and sexuality. Kristen shares insights on her curriculum, Sex Ed Reclaimed, which aims to provide a biblically based education for children and teens. The conversation covers the importance of addressing topics like dating, puberty, and identity from a Christian perspective, and emphasizes the role of parents as primary educators. Kristen also discusses the challenges of creating content that balances empathy and truth, and offers encouragement for parents at different stages of this journey.

Kristen Miele
https://www.sexedreclaimed.com/
https://www.instagram.com/sexedreclaimed/

Contact us today: If you have a question, comment, or need help, email us at info@regenerationministries.org

Free Resources for you!

👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)
👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Transcript

Sex Ed Reclaimed

Speaker 1 0:22

Welcome back to another episode of Sacred by Design. We have something new and exciting. Usually, you see me on the couch sitting beside one of my coworkers, but today we have a new face, a new friend and a great voice that I think is so important for all of us to hear right now. It's Kristen Miele. Did I do it? You totally did. Okay, good, Kristen is a sex educator. She teaches kids about sex and sexuality. This is her calling, and that calling has culminated into a curriculum called Sex Ed Reclaimed. I love how you tee us up as parents, as people of influence in children's lives, to start this conversation one of many conversations, right?

Speaker 2 1:10

Yes, absolutely. I love that you phrased it that way, because I really feel that parents are the best educators for their kids and they're certainly the ones called to disciple them. It takes a village. We know that Fellowship is very biblical. It should be that way, but ultimately our parents have such great influence on our lives, and what they say or don't say about this topic also influences us even to the point of adulthood and right off the bat, you're going to jump right into.

Speaker 1 1:40

one of my things that I wanted to say was that silence, that silence can be so loud and adding a layer of shame to something that's already so quiet. So give us words.

Speaker 2 1:55

Yes, and that is absolutely my calling. I don't think I recognized how necessary this calling can be for families because I didn't view it as such when I originally became a human sexuality teacher. God really called me to that field and I stepped in very hesitantly and very unsure, and actually unsure of what even the Bible said, because my whole background was really in silence about this topic and even about my body and puberty and dating. I mean, I truly don't remember any conversations about those kinds of things. And it's not because my parents were bad or that they didn't love me quite the opposite in fact and I grew up in an incredible church I love to this day. My parents still attend there but this topic I just didn't know anything, and so when I began I had no idea that this, of course, was my future. I thought it was just like a blip in my life, a part of it, but it really is ultimately about giving families the language.

Speaker 2 3:02

When I started to research what is out there for Christian families, I found good books, like little books that were topical, or there were certainly emerging voices on the impact of something like purity culture or biblical sexuality that hadn't been as loud before. But language for kids from a biblical perspective that really got into sex. It didn't just skim over it. I couldn't find that and then I began Sex Ever Claimed and created all of that content for parents to have right in their own home so that kids can ask them the questions and they can talk to their own children about this, but by already giving them the teacher to teach and get that started.

Speaker 1 3:47

I mean, I could go so many different ways in this conversation between it being your calling, which hello, really I know, but if that's what the Lord is calling you to do, you are stepping in 100%. But then the other piece that I think is so beautiful is that you're framing it as discipleship. Yes, discipleship. Talk more about that, absolutely.

Speaker 2 4:11

I don't know when in the church discipleship became something that didn't include sexual discipleship, but it sure did. We disciple our kids. We're all about training them in the way they should go right Give them scripture, raise them in youth groups or take them to, you know, wonderful biblically driven programs, and of course those things are all good, but not if all of them are silent on a topic that in our culture today is like definitive, like this defines people, and it's wrong. Your sexuality never defines you. Your identity as a child of God defines you.

Speaker 2 4:46

But if that's all we're hearing around us, and even from Christian community sometimes, then we're going to get a bit confused about our identity. And our identity is key into how we start to look towards God and see Him. Rightly, we see Him as the ultimate, as the authority, as sovereign, as good, as holy, as pure, as trustworthy. But if we don't know anything about really biblical sexuality, then that becomes muddled for us, particularly if the church and our Christian families were silent on it. And so as we disciple our kids, we think about all of these like influences and you know again how to really raise them to know the scriptures and know the character of God. But I don't think you can do that as completely if you miss out on concepts around dating and changing bodies and gender and sexuality, particularly in this very loud culture.

Speaker 1 5:43

So, if the church has gone silent and the world is really loud, the word that you've chosen to reclaim is so special and it's so profound. I wanted to look it up just because I was like this is oh, but to recover something lost, yes, you know, to cultivate something that's been drowned. It's a profound word, and one of the things that you're reclaiming right away is language. Language that's confusing. So what is the basic language that you like to begin with, or fundamental language?

Speaker 2 6:20

the basic language I like to begin with has to do with truth and reality. I see myself as a very realistic person, like with her eyes open to what's going on around us, and when I think of this role, my primary years of experience in a role as a sex educator were with secular groups of people in secular settings. So they were non-religious granted, of course, some of them were Christian or from different faith backgrounds, but they were in public school settings and they were in orphanages and foster care style settings. I mean, they were on the mission field but in a school. So I think about all the questions I've been asked over the last 15 years from kids, all the questions I've been asked over the last 15 years from kids, and I think they would blow some parents' minds. They are just so very much in the world and of the world and they see and start to comprehend and also confuse all of this stuff coming at them and they see me as this neutral party who walks into a classroom and can ask them things. And so I've always had like an open eye to what sex ed is in the non-religious world and also what students are like in that setting and what they're curious about and what they're asking and what they're being exposed to. But the best sex ed I could ever do has to be biblically based sex ed, because it's the only actual truth. It's where it all came from, it's like the origin, and so I really think my language starts in the origin story, god and this is going to sound weird to people, I'm fully aware of that, but it's okay.

Speaker 2 8:06

I really think God is the original sex educator. He created it, he designed it. It's meant to be good, he can be trusted with it and he tells us about it, he gives it to us Like it is this blessing? And many Christian kids at least know that. They know that sex is meant to be a blessing. But then why does it feel like something that's only a temptation, something that's only an act, something that's a curse, something that's shameful and silent, all from within the Christian community itself. That is not the truth. And so how do we teach kids? Well, sex is a blessing. However, blessings are meant as gifts, and we have to use a gift rightly for it to really work.

Speaker 2 8:46

And so what does God say about it? But not in like a do this, don't do this, do this, don't do this, because that style of teaching just doesn't have as incredible of an impact as actually engagement with students, with young people, on. Hey, if God says this, what do we think about that? How are we responding to that? What are the hard parts of that? What are the encouraging parts of that? What does this say about God? What does it always say about God and what does this say about us? And so I think language really has to be truthful in this regard, and I think there's something about it being more holistic, more full, where you get a full picture of God's design and kids can be brought into that. It's not like it's too complicated for them. They can be encouraged to start understanding that and grappling with it and hopefully just see more of who God is through that. And that's again discipleship. That's where the beauty comes in, is you're walking along with them as they journey with Christ in understanding the Father's design.

Speaker 1 9:50

So our mission statement here at Regen is to equip men, women and families to live out God's good, holy and beautiful design for sexuality, and so this feels so like. Why have we not done this sooner? I know, I know, but even as you're talking, I think it's so important for the parents to hear that sex education, sexuality education, these conversations is a lot more than intercourse how-to. Yes, you have said so many things body naming, awareness, changes, hormones. You said a lot, so how did you even start grouping all of these teachings?

Speaker 2 10:32

You know, it's funny because when I had the vision for Sex Ever Claimed and I'm totally serious when I say that that name just like came to me, I it was not something I thought of. I did not think of this business, I did not plan on being a sex educator, I didn't like just love sex ed or want to talk about sex all the time. It was a continual like holding of her hand as he kindly and lovingly led me into this place, which I never saw coming. But the vision of Sex Ever Claimed was given to me and I thought in my humanity, I thought I'll film my most common three lectures that have been requested over the last, however many years and I will put those online for families. And that is so not what happened. I filmed with my phone. I, you know, did these three lectures. And then I was talking to a friend and he's a videographer and he was like, you know, you kind of need real equipment, you kind of need, like, a real editor. And, as I really prayed over, oh my gosh, how am I going to run a business Like I haven't really thought about that yet. I just know how to teach sex ed prayed over oh my gosh, how am I going to run a business? I haven't really thought about that yet. I just know how to teach sex ed.

Speaker 2 11:52

I realized, oh no, I need to write about a lot of different topics. This can never be summed up in my three most popular lectures. This is a very vast subject with a lot of complexities to it, with a lot of parts and moving pieces, and I want to talk about all of it. And so I have almost 100 lectures now on my website, which sounds like a lot, but it's broken down into age groups. It was totally led by the Holy Spirit. Every time the Spirit put an issue on my mind or in my heart and I couldn't shake it, I was like, okay, I need to write to this, I need to start talking with students about this, I need to add this to the curriculum. And the great thing is is I have ability, of course, to just add to the curriculum as time goes, and so parents can. They can follow the scheduling I have, or they can pick and choose, like what is a hot topic in their home? What just came up yesterday? What do they want to? You know, go over again.

Equipping Christian Families for Conversations

Speaker 2 12:44

There's so much under sex, sexuality and gender like so much, but God cares about all of it. And so why do I pick and choose, like no, I'll just go where the Holy Spirit leads, because it is masked. So what were the three most popular at that point? So the three most popular were basically female and male anatomy like discussed in one 45-minute lecture, and STI, so sexually transmitted infections what's going on in the world around us and then one on pregnancy and you know, kind of the act of sex itself. But I just I laugh at that because I'm like A, that doesn't even get at age groups, and B, like who wants to watch a 15-minute video.

Speaker 2 13:22

And so it just it was totally like I had no clear vision. I just knew I was supposed to do it and I was taking these baby steps and doing what I had done before, cause that's what we do, we go with you know, what we know. And then it was like within a couple of months I was like, oh, this is, you know, like I, I need to. You know, this is going a completely different direction than what I thought. But it's like good and right, and I even had a temptation to make it secular, like make it just fact-based science. Only I will appeal to the masses. Anybody can use it and hopefully Christian families will. And again, very quickly, it was like wait, nope, absolutely not Like. God gave me the decision. He created sex. I can't talk about sex anymore without talking about him. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to make it specifically for Christian families, because that is where I want to inform and equip and encourage and really give to.

Speaker 1 14:18

Oh, one of my favorite postures is defiant and this feels very defiant In this world, I feel so if Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy. Silence of the church, volume full up from the world, has really taken over some territory, but you're reclaiming that by really equipping and informing parents and that's very defiant. So, yes, good job. But how do we, how have you found parents even or responding to social media versus their voice, if do they voice their concern to you that way? Like i't compete, or can you compete as a mom With the world?

Speaker 2 15:04

Yeah, oh, absolutely I think, and maybe this is because they're coming to me anyway but I don't feel like most parents feel defeated. I know that they have moments of it and certainly we all feel like we're losing a battle sometimes, but if we're in Christ, we know the victory is ours. And so so many of the parents that come to me with questions whether it's at a speaking, engagement, a conference, yeah, within my website, on social media they really are like ready, like they want to talk to their kids. They just, like we said earlier, don't have the language. They don't know exactly how to do that.

Speaker 2 15:45

I'm encouraged by actually how many moms come to me who only have like a three and a four-year-old or like a two-year-old, and they're already looking for those resources because they just know, like I already need to talk to my kid about their body, I already need to make sure that they have some autonomy, like are aware of what's appropriate in the world and what's not.

Speaker 2 16:03

I don't want my kid to see an image that's really explicit and not be able to tell me. And so many parents young parents are really on it and I think that that is incredibly encouraging. But I don't really see too many defeated parents unless and you guys are probably accustomed to this too unless there's been some sort of crisis, and then you can understand why they're just feeling beat up and like they've lost, even though they haven't. And I do seek to like prevent those crises Like I really I don't want there to be a discovery of like your teenager has been addicted to porn for the last three years and you had no idea. But now you walked in and you've discovered it and like just feel so you know, broken about it. I want to prevent that by providing the ability or the again the language for the home to continually talk about sex, so that people actually feel that they can talk within their families about these topics.

Speaker 1 16:55

But I understand why that would feel like you've lost that would feel like you've lost, and this is an opportunity to reclaim your voice. It's not too late, right, no, 14-year-old 18. No, it's not too late.

Speaker 2 17:16

I once had a couple tell me and they were the sweetest couple, they were probably in their 60s and they had two girls who were both married, and they said that they had just started talking to their daughters about sex. Their daughters already had kids, but they just recognized recently I think it had been in recent years like, oh wow, we completely mixed this. We left it to the school. Don't exactly know what the school taught. We hoped for the best, you know, gave them supplies for their periods and like off they were, and now they're married. So certainly it's not our problem anymore.

Speaker 2 17:48

And they just felt a certain conviction about that, which I thought was really cool, because most people would have been like that ship has sailed, I don't need to do anything, which is also what I hear from parents with adult children. Right, like I don't know children. Right, they're already married, they know what to do, and that's not true, abe. And if you gave them no really language growing up, then they might still not have any and they might actually want to talk to you about this. And so this couple, these parents, were telling me that now, particularly the mom, but they talk to their girls, I mean, they have more closeness with their girls and they talk about how hard it is having young babies and how that changes marriage, and it's just more open.

Speaker 2 18:29

It opened up more levels of intimacy between mom and child, between dad and child, that they could really talk about this topic. And so it was almost like they reclaimed it later than you would think or passed, when a parent might assume they still have that authority, but they do like it's. It was wonderful and they had so much joy as they were telling me this, like we get to talk to them about this and we and we could tell them we care and it's not weird and you know, we let them come to us and but we first, like opened the door. And and they opened the door by acknowledging the elephant in the room, like hey, we never talked to you about this. We are here for you. We want to, we want you to know.

Speaker 2 19:06

you know, xyz, it's not like they were sharing, you know, these details of their life right you know the parents, but they were certainly opening the door to that, and now they can talk about it whenever which was so cool.

Speaker 1 19:21

so tell me how it would work if so. I have five kids and they are 11, and I don't know how old they are 11, 15, 17, 19, and 22. And so I feel like every kid has been different just in how, like talking face-to-face or like, oh, we need to be doing something because we can't talk face-to-face. You have set up your curriculum starting as young as age three. Is that right? Right? And then how are the groupings in there?

Speaker 2 19:54

Yeah, great question Again. That was really Holy Spirit led. But I will say I feel like my experience kind of spoke into that too with teaching, because I have taught all age levels around this topic. So my first grouping is three to six-year-olds, so these are like the pre-getting into education, preschool toddlers, that group. And then the next one is seven to 10-year-olds, so I call these like the young learners. After that is 11 to 13. These are my preteens, basically, and then the 14 to 18 is the high school grouping, if you will, and it's those four age groups where parents can go to my website, get samples and also purchase curriculum, depending on which age groups you know are in their home.

Speaker 1 20:36

Yeah, so awesome. So what are we talking about three to six? Yeah, it's so awesome. So what are we talking about Three to six?

Speaker 2 20:43

Three to six was very much pilot tested on my daughter, who falls into that age group. It was funny today even she was looking. She has a you know a tablet and she was looking at it and she's like Mike, I see your videos on here and I was like no, you have to, we would have to download that. I'm like cause we were in the car so it was cute that she was asking about it. But I of them like because we were in the car, so it was cute that she was asking about it. But I really wanted her, from a young age, to know the names of her body parts, because her body is good. Right, god created it, it's good. I don't want her to have shame and only know slang terms. So, understanding the names of your body parts and what they're for, we go over that. We go over like almost and this is where holistic comes into play reading body language, helping them to understand if somebody doesn't want to hug or what to do if somebody's asking to kiss you and you really don't want to do that.

Speaker 2 21:33

How do you respond as a young child to that? We talk about emotions a little bit and how to verbalize your emotions. We talk about bad images, which is essentially you know it's porn, I just don't use that word with the younger kids and what to do If somebody shows you a bad image. It's disrespectful. Who do you tell? How do you go about that? We talk about safety around other people, like do you know who should see your vagina and penis and who shouldn't? Why? We talk about keeping our clothes on in public, so just things that would apply to that age group and raising that age group. But every curriculum actually comes with parent videos that like cover a breadth of you know topics just because parents might already be thinking about.

Speaker 2 22:20

You know various topics and getting prepared. I just added some on like how families look different, like how do we love and care for people who aren't like us or who don't believe the same things as us? What do we do, how do we talk about them? What do we say about them? So it's just kind of recognizing, like I mentioned earlier, the reality of our world and the brokenness that even young kids see and discern.

Speaker 2 22:43

But they don't really know what it means yet or like how to talk about it, and sometimes they don't know how to talk about it in a way that's not embarrassing to like the family if they're out in public. So, yes, these are the words for your body, but like this is why maybe we don't chuck them out of the grocery store, like I talked about that. Or yes, families look different, but this is why this is because families value different things. They might not value, essentially, god's concept of marriage, and you know what that means. So all the videos for that age group are very short because their attention spans are very short, but they're appropriate for their age age.

Navigating Sex Ed for Parents

Speaker 1 23:21

Ooh, I have so many personal questions that I cannot ask on this podcast because my kid will kick me. But I'm wondering about the reteaching. So say for, like the bigger kids who maybe porn has been their teacher about what it means to be a woman or what it means to be sexual and what that looks like and sounds like. And then all of a sudden, is it a good idea, have you found, to maybe backpedal on the teaching if it has not been talked about in your home and start from maybe a younger age, like let's just let's walk ourselves together through this, or what would you say to that?

Speaker 2 24:01

When parents ask me, like I haven't really talked about anything, my child is 11. Should I get the 7 to 10-year-old curriculum to build them up? I say no, because the curriculum is created in such a way, like all the content and the lectures are created in such a way that would include a kid who really doesn't know much at all and a child who has been learning from porn, let's say, for two years. It would encompass, like, both of those kids and that's really based on my experience teaching. Whenever you teach a classroom, whenever you're giving a talk to a group of parents, you don't know all their walks of life, but you can speak in such a way. I think that honors each person and their journey and where they're coming from. And so I would say I'm very empathetic to brokenness, like we're all sexually broken, and I recognize that many of my students walk into the room or essentially start watching my curriculum with their own stories and their own challenges and their own temptations, and those are unique from somebody next to them. Their own challenges and their own temptations and those are unique from somebody next to them. But I don't think they need to start younger with the building blocks, because at that point. It's more about switching the blocks, if that makes sense. You've learned these things out in the world, but here is the truth. Here is what is actually accurate, what God really cares, that you should know and that you should know about him and yourself, and so it's not like they need to start with. Well, what are the names of my body right?

Speaker 2 25:34

Most 11 to 13-year-olds, for example, are going to know that at that point, but where they learned it from might have been a dark place or somebody who wasn't accurate, and so now they're getting the factually correct information, but they're also getting more of the gospel, like grace is given to you and you have been forgiven and Christ covers all of our sin.

Speaker 2 25:56

This topic is super important, and what we do with our bodies is really important, and so it just speaks to their level, while recognizing that we come from different places.

Speaker 2 26:06

That's part of why I want the parents to pay attention and like be around, whether they watch my content separate from their kids or not, so that they can then field the natural things that are going to arise in their specific kid right, like you said, your five kids.

Speaker 2 26:20

I mean, they have different personalities in their specific kid right, like you said, your five kids, I mean. They have different personalities, different ways they go about even this. The ability to talk to them is even different, based on who they are and what they want to talk about. And so having this neutral person who almost comes into your home and is like, okay, she's like the expert, I'm going to play this, and then now you're there to receive the questions and the thoughts and the concerns and the challenges, that's what I want, because I don't know your child, but you do. However, I do know how to teach sex ed to kids of various stages, and so that's what I'm bringing to the table for these parents, when the ultimate hope that they have already in a conversation is going going forward in your mind.

Speaker 1 27:03

What is the perfect setup of like a. The best way to get the most out of this video series? If I sign up for an 11 13 year old series, am I sitting in the room with her. What do you? What's your hope in all this?

Speaker 2 27:18

And so my hope is that if you were to sign up for that program or that curriculum that your 11 to 13-year-old would consume and engage with all the content, she or he would have the workbook, they would be watching the videos, they would be paying attention, they wouldn't be on their phone or doing other things. It would be like a regular part of either their homeschooling or an after school activity that you're encouraging them to do. My hope would be that the parent would even maybe pray with them beforehand, would talk to them about why we're doing this, and I have like kind of a starter kit, if you will that. Okay, now you've bought this curriculum, how do you introduce it to the child? So that is a part of it, but I wouldn't say that I would be prescriptive about it, where I'm like you need to sit down next to your kid and watch it with them or you need to watch it only after them, because I do think every kid and their relationship with their parent is different, and so I want your kid to be the most comfortable, I think, watching it. So whether that means you watch it with them or not, I don't know, because all kids are different and they receive things differently. The most important thing, however, is that they're really watching and engaging with the material and, essentially, you know it's there if they want to return to it. Like they can have some autonomy to say, hey, I need to, like, I'm going to go back and watch a few different videos and you're like, okay, yeah, that's great, like, go for it, and you allow them to do that. So I think there's a little give and take with each student of like what, what are they wanting to know? What do they want to review? But also, hey, this is a really important topic that you do need to watch this and we want to. I want to start talking about it with you. So we're going to, I'm going to facilitate that by, you know, utilizing this.

Speaker 2 29:06

Why are you so passionate about this? I feel like the most good in my life has absolutely come from God, and if he called me to do this, then I cannot say no and I will not say no and I am not going anywhere. I do feel spiritual warfare I mentioned earlier. Right, the temptation to make this a science-based only and secular, and that way I wouldn't offend anybody or I would appeal to more people, potentially even make more money, right? Those temptations exist. Temptations on social media exist to go with the crowd.

Speaker 2 29:41

I kind of get heat from both sides. To be honest, I get heat from Christian sides, sometimes being like why do you talk about this? Or why do you take kind of an empathetic approach to these students when really what they need to know is, instead of a conversation around abortion, they just need to know abortion is murder. And that's not how I teach. I don't just teach that blanket. I teach about why abortion is occurring in our world, how it differs from what God wants for us, and I get at the heart of how can we love these people and care for these people. And so that's an example of heat I get from the Christian side after they ask to see content or samples. And then I get heat from the secular side.

Speaker 2 30:21

Why do you have to bring God into this? He's not even real. Jesus doesn't matter when it comes to this. I can do whatever I want and I'm happy. So why do you have to bring that up?

Speaker 2 30:31

And so there is temptation, I think, really just to stop or to not bother, or like why am I doing this?

Speaker 2 30:38

Or why didn't I pick something easier? Or, yeah, more black and white where I could just stay in this lane, but that is not where I think the most good is for me and the most good for God's people. There is a lot of goodness and beauty in challenging the world around us while still loving them and caring for them and seeing that Jesus died for them, and if we don't talk about this topic, then that's a full miss on something that can speak leaps and bounds into who God is, how much he cares for us and I see little pockets of that everywhere and I know that you do too with people doing incredible things in the world of as I call it, like broken sexuality, and they are living for God in a way that is so encouraging to me personally and is honestly life-changing for a lot of people, and so I do want to be involved in that, but mostly because God has called me to it, and I can only assume that the passion has come from Him, because this was not a passion.

Speaker 2 31:50

I was born with, and it was not a passion I even knew I would have until my 20s, and I'm reminded of that all the time as the Holy Spirit just moves in my life and preaches to me essentially so, yeah, I'm not going anywhere, this is needed and I want to help families and I really do want to reclaim sex ed because God cares about it and it's not evil, it's not bad. Satan wants you to be quiet. He wants you to shut up and not talk to your kids at all. He wants porn to educate your children and he would be very happy to let that happen in the Christian church and families and just let it continually destroy people. Right, we see this all the time in the news. Pastor does this. Right.

Speaker 2 32:39

I know that there are people Christians in my life who are actively engaging in sexually broken behaviors. But if they don't feel they have a space to tell somebody, then they're not going to have the accountability and the fellowship that they could have and it could ruin their family and I don't want kids to grow up into that. I want them to be sexually healthy and know the language and know their God and how powerful he is. That all kind of comes together, at least for me, in sex ed.

Speaker 1 33:10

See, there's some defiance there. It's good, I love it. I love it. So, on my end, on our end here working with the adults, so much of what we do is connecting our struggle to our story and then our story to God, and I don't want parents to miss this opportunity that, when their voice feels almost muted or they're at a lack of words because they're so confused, what a beautiful accompaniment to them as parents to disciple their children in this blessing, this gift that God has given us, that God has designed, but to be the teacher, to be the question asker and the question listener and to sit beside them. It's powerful, absolutely. I'm sure that for parents watching who have stories of their own, oh yeah, that it could be bittersweet, watching even right and relearning some things.

Speaker 2 34:30

Yes, we all have our our story. We all have some sort of education. We learned in regards to this topic and it impacted us, and we might not have recognized it until later on, or we might have struggled with it as a young person, but generally, one of the themes is that there was either silence in our family unit or silence from the church, or both, and that does not need to be the case at all. God is not silent. He is active and alive and he speaks and he sees and he knows Like that's one of his first names in the Bible, right the God who sees. He sees me and he sees you in all of that sexual temptation, struggle, brokenness, trauma, abuse and he cares profoundly about it. He speaks into it. However, then, if we are meant to be a reflection of him, then so should his people, and so I really desire to, yeah, speak into people's stories, but also help them to see where Satan's lies got in and what they might still be believing from that.

Impact of Pornography and Benediction

Speaker 2 35:34

One of the experiences that comes to mind is that I regularly teach at a it's called a John School, but more often it's really just about rehabbing and focusing on rehabbing men who have bought women, and so these first-time offenses. They come in and they're always men and they were caught by the police and they kind of hate that. They hate that they were caught. They're not mad at their behavior, right, they're just mad that they were caught. They don't really see necessarily a problem with it. Maybe they think prostitution is totally a choice. They don't understand human trafficking. They wanted what they wanted, like why am I even here? But they do this to get out of prison time and they show up to this class and I teach. I teach about porn and I teach about STIs. And one of the things I tell them is that porn because I'm sure of this has informed so much of your story. It has informed how you feel about women, how you view sex, what you think is appropriate in sexual behavior, what you think women might want, what you feel you deserve. It has given you some semblance of power and independence that you think women might want, what you feel you deserve. It has given you some semblance of power and independence that you think you now have. But in reality it is actively a part of human trafficking. It is actively abusive towards women and men.

Speaker 2 36:54

Many of the women and men that you might think, wow, they're really living the dream in these videos, are addicted to drugs, are suicidal, are depressed, and I kind of paint the real picture of what it means to be involved in porn or what's happening behind the screen. But all they see is somebody who even wants them, is looking at them and is giving them this power. And porn always goes somewhere and you can just see sometimes, as I teach, these light bulbs go off. Some people are defiant in that good way. Right, they don't want to believe it.

Speaker 2 37:23

No, porn hasn't impacted me, it doesn't affect me. What I consume doesn't really matter, it's just something I do on the side. Certainly, that's not like how I feel about women. But there are other men and this is not in a spiritual context, this is a program, a secular program. There are other men who, it's like these light bulbs go off. It's like, so you mean, when I was exposed to porn at eight and my dad told me that this was what sex was and he gave me it, that that was actually not a good lesson in sex, like, right, that's correct. Oh, and so from then on my view of sex was kind of distorted. Yes, and I don't mention God, I don't mention God's design in these classes, but there's a reckoning of like oh, what I've learned in my story was not okay and I can actually be angry at that. Find what's not okay about it, but now move forward in a different way, and I think that that's really powerful.

Speaker 1 38:21

And then going back to the origin story, just the fact that a God is a God who sees, a God who knows, and he comes to ask questions, not to condemn. Where are you? Who told you that? And he wants to hear our voices in response. And we get to reflect that as parents when we are informed, when we have this partnership of sex I've reclaimed, to maybe bolster up our confidence or bolster up our comfort so that we can continue having these conversations. What a blessing, what a gift. I'm going to keep praying for you because this is important work. We talked about a benediction before, because you offer those for parents. Yes, that's just the best. That's the best. I would love. Do you have one that you could pray with us or for us? Ooh.

Speaker 2 39:18

I could. I could pull one up. Do you want me to do like a benediction that I give to the students? I would love that In my curriculum. One up, do you want me to do like a benediction that I give to the students? I would love that In my curriculum. Yeah, okay. So let me just real quick, hold that up. Yeah, I love benedictions. I love the idea of sending out and encouraging them in that way and letting them know that this is like God's blessing and for his goodness. So, okay, pick an age group and I'll give that benediction. Ooh, 14 to 18. 14 to 18. Okay, all right, okay. So originally in the curriculum I explain what a benediction is, but I'm going to move forward from that because I'm going to assume many of your listeners have heard of that before or understand what it is. So here we go.

Speaker 2 40:12

Okay, since you were at the end of this curriculum, you finished a lot of videos on your sexual health, body dating, puberty, pregnancy and more. Some of the information you knew and some was brand new, but it's good to remember that none of it was bad to learn. It is okay to learn about the world around you, your body and even engage with this material as you answer difficult questions. God gives us a foundation for understanding what's going on around us and in us through his word, fellowship and in prayer. He also created us puberty, pregnancy and sex. He allowed consequences too for going outside of his design, because he gave us free will to do what we please and to choose him or not. Some of you might not choose to follow him, but you need to know he is good and holy. He loves you. For now we live in a broken world. We can see its problems everywhere we go. Yet God speaks into that, which means he foreknew the brokenness would occur, so he sent his son because he cares about us and responds to us.

Empowering Youth Through Faith Talk

Speaker 2 41:13

The benediction I have for you comes from 1 Peter 3, 10-18. I chose this passage because it applies to how we live our lives in connection to sex, dating and marriage. Peter says because it applies to how we live our lives in connection to sex, dating and marriage. Peter says is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you're eager to do good, but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats, do not be frightened, but in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior on Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil, for Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous.

Speaker 2 42:12

To bring you to God, I then say recall that you too have been made alive by the power of God, not just at birth, but when you accept him as Savior. He makes us right before God. He made our body. He created the universe. Whether in dating, a future marriage or growing up in teen years, may he strengthen, help and encourage you. Christ's power lives in you when you accept him. May you know this and have peace as you grow, seek his good in your life, find freedom in his identity and feel safe and loved in his arm. Amen. I think we met. Sorry it was kind of long. My 14 to 18-year-old ones are a bit longer.

Speaker 1 42:48

I love that, and that's how you end all of your courses.

Speaker 2 42:51

I do, but each, like I said earlier, each one is a little bit different, right for each age group, and you probably saw in that some of the empathy I have, for some of these kids might not have accepted Jesus as Savior, they might not know Him, they might be already going astray or deciding not to choose Him as Lord, and so I recognize that, like that's the reality we're in, especially because I'm in a way ministering to people whom I don't even haven't even met. But I also still want to acknowledge that Christ is Lord, that he does love them, that he did create them, that he cares and remind them of the scriptures that teach them how to live, and so that's kind of a good, in a way, encompassment of my curriculum and what happens in it. So thanks for asking me to read that. It was fun.

Speaker 1 43:41

This is so good. Thank you for this. Thank you for the work that you're doing in this conversation. Um, it is important, it is very important, and we will be putting a link to your website, to your social, so that people can get connected with you, because I'm sure there will be questions. Yeah, get information on or in more benediction just to hear somebody or know that somebody wants to say that over over me feels good. Thank you for that. Thank you for your time today.