Trusting Your Instincts: How We Can Use Our Intuition To Heal From Trauma With Eboni Banks

Today Jan is joined by Eboni Banks to explore how clair-senses helped her on her healing journey from sexual trauma and how others can get in touch with their intuition.

Born in Washington, D.C., and raised in Silver Spring, Maryland, Eboni Banks is an Intuitive Healer who has been aware of her intuition since childhood. She is from a lineage of healers and wellness practitioners on both sides of her family. Eboni's maternal great-grandmother read palms for a living in the 1940s. Her late father was a social worker and hypnotherapist who owned and operated a private practice mental health clinic. Eboni's inspiration to serve others began as a child while spending time in her dad's office and observing his healing work.

As a trauma survivor, Eboni has learned to use her wealth of inner spiritual resources to thrive on her own healing journey and is now inspired to teach people how to do the same. To access their intuition to heal the stuck parts of their lives that prevent them from living their desired life. 

Eboni's main spiritual gift is Clairtangency, which means clear touch and is the ability to receive information and impressions through touch. 

She is passionate about charitable work and has worked with nonprofit charities for the past 13 years as a development consultant, targeting social justice, pediatric healthcare, and equitable education. In 2016 Eboni received the Osborn Elliott Award for Outstanding Community Service for a volunteer-led organization she founded, which taught people living in Brownsville, Brooklyn, about the importance of incorporating plant-based eating into their diet.

Eboni considers herself a mystic and enjoys exploring the balance of physical and non-physical life. She practices yoga, meditates, and listens to mantras in her spare time. Eboni currently lives in New York City, where she shares her thriving spiritual practices with clients. 

For press inquiries, please contact Ashley Moreno at ashley@shpny.com or 212-597-9200.

If You Would Like To Check Out Eboni's Services Check Out Her Website:
www.ebonibanks.me
And Follow Her On Insta: @intuitiveeboniwrites

This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp Online Therapy. Get in touch with the right therapist today! Use our link to get 10% off your first month: www.betterhelp.com/jan

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Transcript

Jan (01:11.486)
I just am so excited to welcome Ebony Banks to our podcast today. She has had quite the journey, but she's learned some very important things along the way that I'm really excited about having a conversation because I think that often, Ebony, we don't listen to our gut, but you're here by your own choice because you want to share that journey with us. Please, please introduce yourself and let's just get started. Let's talk about...

Eboni (01:33.927)
Yes.

Jan (01:40.574)
Eboni from Brooklyn, New York and her journey.

Eboni (01:43.947)
Yes, well actually I'm from Silver Spring, Maryland, but New York has been home for many, many years. But I guess, you know, I'm a, my name is Ebony Banks and I'm a mystic, you know, first and foremost, and I'm also a trauma survivor. And the way that I've processed my trauma and the way that I've been guided by my intuition to, you know, support myself in my own healing has just been so powerful for me that.

it's completely changed my life and I'm just wanting to share with other people and in particular, trauma survivors.

Jan (02:13.886)
I'm so excited because I think so often we kind of have this idea that we have to do it a certain way and for different people and different you know whatever the trauma is that someone has survived I believe that there are probably as many ways to heal from that or to take that journey forward as there are nuances to trauma. So would you mind going back a little bit and just we focus on childhood sexual trauma and those are

Eboni (02:38.684)
Yeah.

Jan (02:43.306)
our main focus, but whatever you'd like to share with us to kind of bring us up to speed, like where you came from and where we're going with this trusting your gut and intuition as a mystic and all of that I want to hear so much about. It's very exciting.

Eboni (02:50.792)
Nah.

Eboni (02:56.443)
Yes, it's so much too. And it's been a lifelong journey, you know, that my spiritual expression has been a part of who I am since I was a child that I've been aware of, you know? I've been very aware of this. And so my traumas didn't happen until I was in my early twenties. And, you know, being a spiritual person has really helped me and guided me to understand what might sound odd to people, but I found purpose in my trauma, you know? And I found a way to

I guess make it make sense, but not like, and it's very real. Like the way that I understand it, it's very real. And it's not like a made up made sense just to make me feel better. It really connects to like the entirety of my life experience and how I process life in general. So yes, it's been a lifelong thing.

Jan (03:46.626)
That's amazing.

And it's interesting that you say, you know, I was in my early 20s when I experienced trauma. I really consider anyone that's 25 years or younger as still developing. Brain development is still happening. So much of the emotional development, you know, consequences don't even come into play. That's why teenagers run out in the middle of the road and think nobody will hit them because those consequence parts of your brain haven't happened. And so when someone is harmed or assaulted in their early 20s,

Eboni (04:01.215)
Absolutely.

Jan (04:17.138)
I believe it has a very deep impact on the way that life then unfolds and how much it affects our lives. So for me, birth to about 25, we're still children. So I may say childhood sexual abuse, but I really am including that whole entire group of survivors. Yeah.

Eboni (04:37.747)
Okay. That's good to know because yes, I'm definitely in that category, you know, and I'm a rape survivor and the rape resulted in a pregnancy that I aborted and I repressed that for many years, you know, and had just started having sex, you know. And so, yeah, it's had a huge impact on my entire life.

Jan (04:58.09)
So before that trauma happened, before the rape happened, you were saying you were already a spiritual kind of person. Was that religious or was it just a spiritual quest that you were taking prior to? How were you raised? A little bit.

Eboni (05:06.035)
Yeah.

Eboni (05:12.915)
So it's a mix of both. So I was definitely raised as a Christian, you know, went to Baptist churches my entire life, Sunday school every Sunday, you know. However, my family lineage, also my maternal great grandmother read poems for a living. And this is in the 1940s in the Jim Crow style. She was a very unusual woman with a very unusual lifestyle, you know. And just last Saturday.

Jan (05:35.922)
an unusual gift.

Eboni (05:37.871)
Yeah, and an unusual gift and was able to practice it and, you know, to be lucrative in the 1940s, which is not a typical lifestyle that you hear of a black woman in this country having, right? And just last Saturday, I was with a family member who was celebrating his 94th birthday. And you know, he was telling me how he remembers, you know, her coming to visit and she had a chauffeur and a driver. And so look, my family also understands that there's another way of.

Jan (05:46.242)
out.

Jan (05:49.418)
Right.

Eboni (06:07.663)
experiencing life and processing life outside of Christianity because of our experience of her. So I didn't learn about her until I was in my 20s though, but as a child, I was having highly intuitive experiences and I didn't understand them and pretty much just thought I was really smart. Then that's how I knew things that people didn't tell me. So as a child, what I now understand is I was experiencing.

Jan (06:15.51)
Wow.

Eboni (06:36.955)
what is known as claircognizance, which is clear knowing. Most people are probably more familiar with clairvoyant. There's a really, you know, that's a popular term that we hear, but there are several clair senses. I experienced four of the seven that...

Jan (06:39.179)
Okay.

Jan (06:45.343)
Yes.

Jan (06:54.35)
Please tell us a little bit about that. Like, could you take an early childhood experience that you were having and describe it to us and then match it to those four of the seven? I keep calling them gifts, but maybe, what's a better word? Teach me something new today.

Eboni (06:57.043)
Yeah.

Eboni (07:05.863)
Yes. Well, as a child, well, the way I have come to understand it is it is a gift. However, it's a gift that every single person has. It's not specific to any certain kind of person. I think we all have the ability to cultivate this gift. I think we are all using it all the time at a beginner level and have the ability to cultivate it more if we choose to.

So as a child, what was happening? I would just know things that people didn't tell me, and it would usually come up when I was playing or doing something, and I processed it then as kind of wanting it to go away because I didn't understand it. So I would just be like, okay, yeah, go away, and I would just know things, and then later on, I would see the thing that I know, I would hear about it over here at an adult conversations, or it would play out in actual life.

You know, so I just didn't know. Oh goodness. Well, the one that stands out for me the most is when I was with an uncle, my mom and I had, it was her brother and we were visiting him at his house and, um, you know, he at the time was, um, using like illicit drugs that are, you know, I don't, I don't know. Yeah. He was using illicit drugs at the time and I just knew, and I was probably like six or seven and I knew where he was going to take me. Like he wanted me to go with him to run an errand.

Jan (08:03.842)
Could you give us an example?

Eboni (08:33.587)
And he took me with him to this place. And I knew where I was going before I got there. And that's one example that I can think of because like I said, as a child, I didn't want it to happen. And I kind of shooed it away. Like, I didn't really want it to happen. So I didn't pay as much attention. And as I got older, it expanded for me. And then even once my healing journey started, it expanded even more, which I think is a bit unusual because typically children,

Jan (08:38.135)
Oh, no.

Jan (08:49.836)
Yeah.

Eboni (09:02.743)
are very susceptible and very open to receiving like the natural spiritual gift that we all have. And as we age and as we become adults, we tend to not believe in it. You know, we don't understand it or for whatever reason, we just distance ourselves from that way of expressing ourselves. But for me, as I healed myself, like it got stronger and it expanded, you know.

Jan (09:28.002)
So interesting. Do you have any thoughts on why we seem to push these kinds of experiences away from us? Is it because we become more logical thinkers and we just don't trust that? Yeah.

Eboni (09:42.527)
There's so many reasons. I'm sorry, go ahead.

Jan (09:45.382)
No, that's all. No, I want. Yeah, I want your, your take on that because it is something that I do think most of us is that part of development. Is that part of growing up that you've distanced yourself and yet you came back to it in a big way, you know.

Eboni (10:00.187)
Yeah, and it came back to me and I'll share that story too, but I don't know why we do that. I mean, I think in general, so many of us have a difficult time like just owning how beautiful we are as human beings, right? Because life is challenging and life presents us with all these things that are difficult. And so it distorts our view of life, you know? And we forget that life is loving and that it's meant to be enjoyable and it's this really beautiful gift.

just being alive and having breath, you know? And so I think it's just connected to like all the things that live in our life experiences that take us away from that knowing. It's just one of the things in the pile, you know? And we just tend to start to not believe in it because we find things to be difficult, you know?

Jan (10:43.405)
Yeah.

Jan (10:50.746)
Right. And I think for me anyway, I think looking back on my own experiences and my own traumatic, excuse me, experiences, I really see where that vulnerability between those, that age, those middle school, junior high school years were so like...

Eboni (11:00.765)
Yeah.

Eboni (11:10.773)
Hehehe

Jan (11:13.502)
I mean, you just can't help it as part of development. Like you want to fit in, you want people to like you, you're so worried about what everybody else thinks, even though that's what they're worried about too. What does that, you know, really, and yet those seem to be the times where you just, I don't know, for me, I look back and think, I was more susceptible for the trauma that I was, you know, it was like my predator knew that I would be perfect, perfect age, you know, to be.

Eboni (11:24.017)
Yeah.

Eboni (11:33.663)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Eboni (11:39.199)
Hmm.

Mmm.

Jan (11:42.718)
sponge to be brainwashed or whatever. So it's just interesting that your natural physical development and your mental and emotional development too, there's such a desire to fit in. And certainly we never talk about anything that is intuitive or gut centered. We don't do that. We talk about everything but that. Right?

Eboni (11:45.502)
Yeah.

Eboni (11:57.277)
Yes.

Eboni (12:05.855)
Yeah. Although now that seems to be changing a lot, which is so nice. And I'm so excited for younger generations because, you know, older generations absolutely didn't talk about these things, right? It was like only what you were told. You do what your family says. You believe their truth. You make their truth your truth. It's not about being an individual, but we are definitely in different times, you know, where younger generations are really owning their individuality and exploring things away from their family belief systems and ways that, you know, older generations didn't do. So.

Jan (12:21.922)
Right. Mm-mm.

Jan (12:32.328)
Right.

Eboni (12:35.047)
I think that is also a big factor. And I also think, or I've noticed that the times when people typically want to get in tune with their spirituality is when something challenging has happened, you know, they've lost a job, a marriage is ending, you know, something difficult in their life presents itself. And that's kind of like the impetus to get to know, like to go to God or whatever it is that you call, you know, non-physical intelligence.

Jan (12:37.9)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (12:59.694)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Eboni (13:01.423)
and to kind of understand and to cultivate a relationship with that energy because, you know, some people just ignore it most of their lives until something happens that kind of forces, you know, forces the person to want to know more or to understand more.

Jan (13:12.231)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (13:15.762)
Yeah, I think that is true. A lot of times it's like people will say that drove me to my knees, you know, or whatever, like in prayer or in some way because a difficult experience does do that. You know, you're like, I got to get in touch with my truth teller. You know, I got to figure out how to handle this. And it's not, you know, some experiences are really, really hard and they are like, I have no clue how to do this. So in your trusting, your gut, your

Eboni (13:21.5)
Yeah.

Eboni (13:27.623)
Yes.

Yes, yes.

on the week.

Eboni (13:41.235)
Yes.

Jan (13:45.522)
your higher energy is, I think you just said, to basically create a better relationship with yourself or to better understand what to do. How does that support you in your ability to live the life that you want to live? How did it first start with, let me get more specific, after the rape, after the rape and you were like, you know,

Eboni (13:49.374)
Yeah.

Eboni (13:53.566)
Yeah.

Eboni (14:09.407)
Okay.

Jan (14:13.886)
whatever, at least for me, trauma completely destroyed my self-confidence. It completely destroyed my ability to trust myself. So how about for you? How did that ability come back or how did you start to put those building blocks back together in this way?

Eboni (14:31.663)
Yes, that's such a good question. And my intuition was guiding me the entire time because I repressed my trauma for many years. And repression is a mental defense mechanism. I think Freud coined the term. And it's essentially when someone experiences something so challenging that the brain pushes it away from consciousness as if it didn't happen, right? So I'm acting out in very specific ways in certain kinds of relationships,

Jan (14:39.222)
Wow.

Eboni (15:00.867)
I hadn't consciously acknowledged to myself, you know, that this thing happened and that I needed to deal with it for years. So, you know, for a long time I wasn't acknowledging it. And then it kind of started coming back to me, like on a rolling basis. This is how I process it anyway, because my intuition was guiding me to do all these spiritual things that I had never done before and to really explore all these things that I was really curious about, you know.

Jan (15:26.944)
Yeah.

Eboni (15:27.319)
And so I listened to myself and I did those things and I think we all have those experiences you hear about something That is of interest to you however We don't always follow through and look the thing up or like take the class or get more information about whatever it is And all of that is guidance. It's your it's your I like to think of my intuition as my true self You know, I kind of stay away from like high and low but it's your true self

really attempting to get your attention so that you can get to whatever it is that you're wanting, that will make you feel better, happier, more joy, whatever the case may be. And so for me, I was guided to doing all these things and I just really listened. And then I think that it kind of started happening in 2012, but it didn't come out of my mouth until 2016 when I was casually on the phone with a friend.

Jan (15:55.278)
Hmm

Jan (16:20.376)
Oh, interesting.

Eboni (16:22.079)
who was talking about his trauma, and I just said it to him. And that was the first time I'd ever, I was conscious enough about it for it to speak it. So it kind of was happening for me over several years.

Jan (16:35.71)
And it's interesting because building blocks are coming. And I like how you said, I don't really go with higher or lower. And I like that because you're just trying to get to your true self and listening to that awareness that is already there. And you speak about there being a beginning, like a beginner level, an intermediate level, and a more advanced level. Could you describe how you moved from level to level or how we might...

Eboni (16:55.976)
Yeah.

Jan (17:03.434)
be able to do that better with that relationship with ourselves, our inner awareness.

Eboni (17:08.286)
Absolutely. I believe everyone is already doing it at the beginner level. Whether you know it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not, it is already happening. Because we have all had those experiences when we didn't listen to our gut, when we knew something would turn out a certain way, you know, maybe not even related to trauma or our healing journey, but just in life, right? Like, you knew not to take that route that way because, you know, or you knew, you knew something and you didn't listen to it. And then in hindsight, you're like, see, I knew I should have listened to that.

So that's kind of like a beginner level, you know, of really, of listening to your intuition, right? Because it's speaking to us all the time and it speaks to us in various ways, you know? That's one way, but it can also speak to you in your outer world by, you know, guiding you to something based on like maybe certain number associations that you have or anything that you like. It will use things that resonate with you to get your attention.

So it could be literally anything in life that you like. It could be food, numbers, a song, a person. It could be anything, right? Yeah, so it's really about having an awareness and really staying present with yourself so that you're paying enough attention to notice when those kinds of things are happening because we're so distracted and we're doing a million things all day long. And our conversation with ourselves can be really loud.

Right? Just our inner conversation. It can be so loud. And so it's really about like staying aware with that conversation that you're always having with yourself. You know, it pretty much never ends unless you're someone who meditates, which is why meditation is so powerful. Um, and really paying attention to like when you're being guided and, and your intuition will also only be loving. And that's something I always like to stress to people.

Jan (18:36.479)
Yes, yes.

happening.

Jan (18:51.984)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (19:00.647)
it will only send you loving messages or a loving interpretation or a loving understanding of something. It would never like say something negative to you about yourself or about another person, you know? So.

Jan (19:01.038)
Hmm.

Jan (19:12.446)
Yeah, that's interesting to just remember that that, you know, that it's going to be, it's going to be a loving guidance. It's a guiding.

Eboni (19:20.527)
It's going to be absolutely a loving guidance. It won't be something that you, you know, that you have a negative, you know, response to and, and the guidance is, it's just such a genius. The way that like how we, how we are and how we work in this, getting to know this part of our very own selves, because the way the guidance works is it really draws on the entirety of your life experience. It has every infor me, all the information about us from, you know, utero.

Jan (19:39.956)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (19:49.711)
And so it knows us very well, you know? And when I say it, I'm meaning you, right? Like you know you very well. It's just as abstract. But you know, we know ourselves very well and it's really about cultivating our relationship with that part of ourself that exists and is with us and is incredibly loving as much as we cultivate the relationship with the other part of ourself, you know, that has to eat and exercise and go to sleep and go to work, right? It's about knowing that there's another aspect to you.

Jan (19:55.086)
Right, yeah. Less.

Jan (20:16.065)
Right.

Eboni (20:19.283)
that exists that can give you so much loving guidance and information about your life, you know?

Jan (20:24.95)
Right. So as you're advancing in that awareness and that intuition and you're listening, you know, at every level, how, what would you describe, like we're all doing it as beginners, right? That's what you said. So where do we go to the intermediate, to that advanced level? Is it more meditation or those, the things that, you know, is that it? Like,

Eboni (20:32.147)
Yes.

Eboni (20:37.563)
next. Yes.

Eboni (20:48.382)
It's.

Jan (20:48.586)
We have to meditate more, we have to quiet ourselves more, is it our environment tell us a little bit more about how to create the culture around us so that we can advance in that.

Eboni (20:57.179)
Yes. I love that one. Yes, yes. So yeah, I love that. And thank you for bringing me back there because I was going on a tangent, but it is about like cultivating that environment, that inner environment. So, you know, some people are just not into meditating and like that will never be their thing, right? Which is fine because there are other ways that you can get quiet, right? So being quiet is a big thing. Spending time alone.

Jan (21:05.454)
I don't know, it's all good.

Eboni (21:25.103)
And spending time alone and being quiet can look like two different things, because you can be alone and still be very loud with everything that's happening on the inside of you, right? So I just wanna make sure that people understand that that's not always the same. But it's really about quieting your, what's happening on the inside of you, your inner world. And maybe you do that by playing a sport, maybe basketball does that for you, or cooking, or gardening, or maybe like actually doing something helps you minimize your thoughts.

But that's the key, you really wanna minimize the thinking as much as possible if you're not into meditation and you don't reach that place where you're not thinking at all. You wanna find activities that will help you minimize the thoughts. And really just having the awareness that, okay, there's more. I am walking information about myself and my life, that nothing needs to happen outside of me.

Jan (22:16.59)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (22:19.599)
Right? Outside support is always helpful and necessary. And I had a therapist and did all the outside work too, but I got most of the richness in my healing journey came from me, you know? And so it's really about just having that awareness and really looking for it, like paying attention, paying, expanding the attention that you give yourself because then you will notice these things happening, you know? And at an advanced level,

Jan (22:21.011)
Hmm.

Jan (22:30.957)
Right.

Jan (22:44.543)
Right.

Eboni (22:47.515)
So I'm Claire Tangent, which is an unusual Claire sense, which means clear touch. And I have sessions with clients where I give them readings where I use my hands to get information about them. And I do remote readings using a teddy bear. And I also do like real in person face to face readings. And so this is an advanced level of intuition. I put all the Claire senses under intuition and I learned I could do this accidentally. So...

Again, listening to my guidance, this is 11 years ago, I was going to see this Reiki master and I was at her house for an appointment that I thought I made to have something else done. She was prepared to attune me to Reiki and I had no interest in Reiki at the time. So I just followed her guidance and what she wanted to do that day. And I learned accidentally, you know, with a stranger in the park who saw us doing all these things and wanted to.

know if I could practice on him, I learned that I was clear tangent in that moment, for the very first time in my life. And 11 years later, I've been seeing clients and sharing healing work with them in that way. So that's an advanced level use, like when you're actually, like when you are getting information about strangers in whatever way that information comes to you. And that's a sense for me that came through touch. Yeah, yeah, it came through touch.

Jan (23:45.582)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (24:04.406)
And that came through touch. Is that clear tangent? Is that? Okay.

Eboni (24:10.935)
And I also experienced some of the other clear senses, but you know, so I think for, that's how it showed up for me, right? It will show up differently for other people.

Jan (24:20.202)
So you mentioned that there are seven different Claire, what's the right word? I don't know the right word. Senses, okay. And you said you had five of the seven. Can you just tell us what those are just to give us that great education that I'm so hungry for? This is so interesting.

Eboni (24:23.026)
Yeah.

Eboni (24:28.495)
common sense senses. Yeah.

Eboni (24:37.48)
Yeah.

Eboni (24:41.859)
Yes, absolutely. And I think everyone is clear something. I think it's impossible not to be. It's just another form of intelligence that we just have to cultivate, right? And so, Claire tangent, the word Claire, C-L-A-I-R, it just means clear. And then the ending tells you, you know, what the, I guess, gift is, right? So, Claire tangent is clear touch. And I just explain how that works. Clairevoyant is clear vision.

You know, some people will see things beyond what we're picking up with our normal eyes, right? Clair sentient is clear feeling. And I think people who consider themselves empaths are actually Clair sentient and maybe have never heard the word and don't know it, right? Because so many people, yes, so many people are sensitive to feeling and they can get information from what they feel, right?

Jan (25:25.483)
I'm definitely that.

Eboni (25:33.503)
And that's really all the clair senses are. It's just another mode of getting information. So it is that one, two, three. So then there clairvoyant, clairotangent, clairolfactants, which is a really interesting one, which is smelling, right? People who can smell something and get information. And again, we're all doing all of these at a beginner level, right? And then there's clairgustants, which is tasting. Some people can taste.

Jan (25:48.463)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (26:03.047)
something and get information, yep. There's clear audience, which is hearing. And it's not the kind of hearing that you're hearing with my voice right now. It's more of a, more of an inner hearing, you know? How many is that? Sentient, gustance, olfactance, voyant, audient, tangent. I'm missing one. Clear sentient. Clear cognizant. And that is clear knowing.

Jan (26:18.722)
That's

Jan (26:23.475)
Yeah, one's missing. That was six. It'll come to you. Yeah. Oh.

Eboni (26:31.335)
which is a really popular one too. A lot of people experience that. Like when you just know something with no rational reason behind knowing it, no one told you, like you just know, you just know. And it could be anything. You know, so those are the seven clairs. And I've experienced all of them, but four of them I experience all the time. You know, people who are claretangent are automatically tapping into clairsentient, clairvoyant.

Jan (26:40.48)
Yeah.

Jan (26:53.646)
Good.

Eboni (26:59.327)
and some clear cognizant at the same time because touch kind of triggers the other three. And that's an unusual thing for people who are clear tangent. Yeah.

Jan (27:04.834)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (27:09.062)
Okay. Well, that's really interesting. Very interesting. So if you were like instructing someone and saying like, I want to get more in touch with my own intuition, you know, I want to recognize it. I want to use it more often in my daily life. What are the, you know, what would be some of those tips you would give to me if I were just saying, I've gotten, I feel like I used to be more in touch with my own intuition and now I'm not.

Eboni (27:32.135)
Yeah.

Jan (27:39.051)
How can I bring it back or get better at it?

Eboni (27:42.299)
Yes, so there's so many things, you know. I highly recommend that people kind of, based on like the seven Claire's, I think that people, you know, it's helpful to know like which way you kind of, what you most resonate with, I guess I should say, right? Because we're all doing them. And so once you can identify that, then it's really about really paying attention to all the ways that, you know, you are getting information that you're,

already doing it. You know, don't worry about like what has to happen, like how you want to experience it. Focus on how you're currently, how it's showing up for you today, right? Because it is. So focus on how it's showing up for you today. How are you able to get information? How do you recognize that you're getting information in any of these ways, you know? And then once you, once you have that awareness, it will really just expand for you because it's really all about your level of

Jan (28:20.296)
Okay.

Jan (28:30.624)
Right.

Eboni (28:39.855)
and receiving it, you know, because it's, yeah, I think that's the best way I can say it. You know, it is kind of a receiving in that way because it already lives inside of you. It's just a matter of you being comfortable enough with yourself to notice it. Does that make sense?

Jan (28:57.714)
Yeah, no, it does. It's like you have to be willing, maybe, a willingness to be really honest with yourself and with how you, you know, so often I feel like we are kind of out of touch with our feelings because we've been taught, oh, well, we can't, you know, don't cry in public or don't, you know, there's just a lot of rules, you know, kind of societal rules.

Eboni (29:03.42)
Yeah, maybe. Yes, absolutely.

Eboni (29:20.827)
Yes.

Jan (29:24.162)
And it's interesting how when you actually will just allow yourself to feel how you feel, you know, and to want what you want, you know, and to really be honest about those very basic things that, you know, that a lot of times we're kind of shoving outside of ourselves or like, oh, I shouldn't, you know, I shouldn't this, I shouldn't that, or I should this. And I have a dear friend at one time and I probably said this before, but

Eboni (29:30.227)
Peace.

Eboni (29:34.268)
Yes.

Eboni (29:40.34)
Yes.

Jan (29:53.11)
She said, I just really try not to should on myself or others. Oh, good. All right.

Eboni (29:57.38)
Yes, that's the-

That is such a great practice. And I'm so glad you mentioned trusting yourself because that is really key. And it really takes a certain level of honesty with yourself to even be able to access this. Because a lot of people think it's kind of, you know, because it's a spiritual thing that you have to do something spiritual in order to access it. You have to, you know, do some ritual or pray or do, no, it's very practical and real life things that you have to do to access it. And it's really about

Jan (30:02.988)
No.

Jan (30:23.742)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (30:30.099)
being honest with yourself and about what you want. Because the way intuition works, the Claire's and all other modes of intuition, right? No matter how it can show up by so many ways, it will only guide you to what you're wanting. So if you're not telling yourself the truth about what you want, then it cannot guide you. It can't guide you, you know? And so it's really important to be really honest. And then once we tell ourselves the truth,

Jan (30:49.954)
Hmm

Eboni (30:56.615)
you know, that can go in a whole lot of different directions, right? Like it can be lovely, it can be painful, it can be work. There are a number of things that can happen once we start to tell ourselves the truth. And so, you know, it's a journey in that way, but it really starts with that. So thank you so much for saying that.

Jan (31:00.957)
Alright.

Jan (31:14.418)
Yeah, that's really, of course, and I love that answer that the truth isn't always just rainbows and unicorns. The truth can be painful, and I've definitely experienced that, like coming into the truth about a situation or about myself or someone in my life. That can be very painful.

Eboni (31:26.023)
know.

Eboni (31:35.358)
Yeah.

Jan (31:40.994)
that you're going to experience some of that, along with the light, along with there's bad times and good times. And I know that you said, this has really helped you find light in the darkness. And maybe you could give us an example or why you say that so often.

Eboni (31:56.424)
Yes.

Eboni (32:01.019)
Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's given me a whole nother perspective on light and dark, you know, which is so interesting because my birth name is Ebony, right? Which is dark, right? So it's so interesting I have this new perspective, but I've just learned to understand that, you know, dark is really the unknown. You know, I don't, it's not, it's not evil.

Jan (32:11.248)
Right, right. Perfect.

Jan (32:22.55)
Hmm.

Eboni (32:24.943)
I don't demonize it. You know, I understand it to mean unknown. And once you start to tell yourself some truths, not just truths, I mean, it's so much. Not just truths about like your life and how it's happening right now, but like the entirety of life in general and just all the things that exist for us, then it really starts to connect all those dots. And it helped me to understand my trauma.

Jan (32:46.094)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (32:53.031)
you know, and to find the purpose in it and to be forgiving and, you know, to, to thrive essentially, because I was able to really like look at some really hard truths about myself and, and it's not about taking blame. And I want to be really careful that that's not what I'm saying because I absolutely don't blame myself, you know, but I understand my life. I guess that's the, that's the

Jan (33:00.448)
Yeah.

Jan (33:19.384)
Yeah.

Eboni (33:19.451)
best way that I can say it. And you asked earlier about tips for people. And one thing that was really helpful for me was really getting in touch with my ancestral lineage. And beyond just my great grandmother who read poems for a living, but really understanding like the people you come from and like how they understand life and how they practice their spirituality. Or, you know, it's really helpful to know like.

the roots of who you come from, not just the family that's living, not the people in your household. I mean like your lineage, your ancestral lineage, you know?

Jan (33:53.798)
Right. Like genealogy, generations before, you know, and I do, I have a big love for that too, you know, I love hearing about my, you know, great, maybe one more great, I'm not sure, grandmother, who was like, she was a, she became a concert pianist. And she was, if I remember the story correctly, it was like, she, my, on my

Eboni (33:56.295)
Yes.

Eboni (34:09.239)
Oh wow!

Jan (34:22.934)
father's side, this all my father's side, one of my great grandfathers was the king of Denmark. And this daughter was from one of the other, oops, oh I just hit my mic, that was really bad. Sorry Eric, I use my hands too much. Anyway, good job Jan. So, that she was like this.

Eboni (34:41.921)
Eh, eh, eh.

Eboni (34:46.623)
Thanks for watching!

Jan (34:51.022)
free spirit, so to speak, and this musician. And basically, he had more than either more than one wife or, you know, there's other, I don't know how the kings work, but anyway, if the kings work, she was not like the first line of queen, dumb. And so anyway, because of her thing, she was kind of like, you know, kicked out or something, kind of, and that's how she came eventually to America. But

Eboni (35:03.953)
I'm sorry.

Eboni (35:08.006)
Okay.

Jan (35:17.486)
know, when you hear those kind of stories, you go, Oh, maybe that's where I get my free spirit from. Maybe that's where I get my, you know, my musical talent or my acting talent. Maybe it was from her. It is something that I do think to know how they came into, you know, to our, you know, ancestral life. It does give us something. And, you know, you said something about the dark.

Eboni (35:27.688)
Yes.

Jan (35:43.678)
You don't consider dark evil or demonize it, but you consider it the unknown, which is often, I find, the same definition of pain. Pain is often like the unknown. When you're experiencing pain, it seems like it's all of the what ifs or the, I don't know, there's something to that. I'm not sure that I'm correct, but my intuition is saying so.

Eboni (35:48.489)
Yeah.

Eboni (35:54.98)
Mmm.

Eboni (36:04.553)
Hmm

Yes.

Yes, yes. No, I understand what you're saying. Yeah. I mean, definitely, because there's so many things, they're more unknowns in the entirety of our existence as human beings than there are knowns. And of course, that trickles down to our individual experience of life. And, and so naturally, there are more unknowns about who we are, and our life, you know, currently and how it connects to the entirety of everything that we just don't know, you know, and, and may never know, you know, and on some level. And so

Jan (36:14.079)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (36:21.773)
Yeah.

Jan (36:34.646)
Right. Yeah.

Eboni (36:40.347)
Yeah, my healing journey taught me that there's just so many unknowns and energy never dies. You know, it just moves from one form of existence into another. And so finding out about your familial and ancestral lineage is really helpful in getting as much as you can understand about those people in their lives because we're essentially in so many ways like playing out aspects of their lives, right? Because through our DNA, through all kinds of things. And so...

Jan (36:47.532)
Right.

Jan (37:06.55)
Yes. Absolutely.

Eboni (37:11.776)
It's really helpful to get that information.

Jan (37:15.858)
And so when you are getting that information, how do you trust, how do you develop more self-trust in, okay, I think I got some information here and my first thing is to be like, oh, well, how do you learn, what are those kind of rules for trusting yourself with that information and maybe acting upon it more often instead of kind of.

Eboni (37:27.111)
Yes.

Eboni (37:31.818)
Yes.

Eboni (37:36.555)
Okay. Again.

Jan (37:43.734)
you know, second guessing yourself all the time.

Eboni (37:46.279)
Yeah, for sure. I always think it's best to start with trusting smaller things, easier things, right? You may not wanna trust that something that is more abstract for you if that's not how you process life. Maybe you just need to trust that you turned the porch light off, right? And you don't need to go check that you did that, but you just need to trust that you did that. And then in the morning, you'll see, right?

Jan (37:54.208)
Okay.

Jan (38:08.04)
Okay.

Jan (38:15.557)
Thank you.

Eboni (38:15.631)
Or maybe you just need to trust that, you know, I don't know, like those kinds of things that you've watered at your plants, or that you, you know, that you did something, you took something that you do kind of autonomously that you do so often that you don't even realize that you do it, just trusting that those things are taken care of, that the garage door is closed, right? That the oven is off, whatever it is for you, start with smaller things, and because that will help you to trust yourself. You'll see, you'll have proof that, oh, I did that.

Jan (38:28.27)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (38:36.177)
Right, okay.

Jan (38:44.014)
Right.

Eboni (38:46.307)
Oh, I did that. I don't have to double check because the key is to not have to not double check the things that you typically double check. So that's a good practice for trusting yourself with just everyday things because it will connect.

Jan (38:47.931)
Okay.

Jan (38:59.35)
And what if I did leave the porch light on? How do I not judge myself? I might do go out there and go, gosh, darn it, the porch light is on.

Eboni (39:03.395)
That is a good question and I have never thought about when that, but I guess if you, if you didn't

Eboni (39:13.619)
then that's an indication that you need to work on that, right? That gives you information that, oh, I could not trust myself in this area. And so it would not be smart for you to start trusting things that you think are your intuition yet because you're not there. Because I think of it as a muscle, you know? And just like we have to exercise the muscles in our physical body, you know, we have to exercise our intuitive muscles too.

Jan (39:17.928)
Yeah.

Jan (39:28.642)
Okay.

Eboni (39:39.079)
So I would start with those smaller, everyday, second-guessing things, and then kind of go from there. And you will absolutely be guided. And another thing I like to share with people is to ask yourself for that guidance, right? I think of us as multi-dimensional beings, and so you wanna ask your mind, your body, your soul, and your spirit, I think of them as separate things, every level and dimension of your existence and being to support you. You want all parts of you to support you,

Jan (39:39.627)
Yeah.

Jan (40:02.338)
Yeah.

Eboni (40:08.923)
Your brain could get in the way, right, of you admitting a truth to yourself, or your heart could get in the way of that. So you want all the parts of you to kind of be harmonious and you wanna ask them to work in that way.

Jan (40:13.812)
Yeah.

Jan (40:22.958)
Okay. And I think that's interesting because a lot of times we don't ask, you know, we don't even, we don't even ask ourselves. Like that's so, that's, that's a real aha moment for me. Like how often do I stop and just ask myself, you know, just

Eboni (40:38.439)
Yes, just ask yourself. Yes. Yeah. And because there's so much intelligence that we have, you know, and because we're so smart, we don't think we have to ask, right? And again, that's part of cultivating that relationship with the self, you know? And then once you ask, you will see how quickly it shows up for you, you know? I mean, you can ask yourself of something and...

Jan (40:42.654)
It's just, that's a good aha moment for myself. Yeah.

Jan (40:57.303)
Right.

Eboni (41:04.743)
give it to yourself, it's incredible how that works. So, and it might be helpful to think of your intuitive self. I'll just, I was gonna say, think of it as like a, a separate person maybe, right? And talk to it in the same way you would talk to a good friend, you know? And cultivate the relationship with it that way. Even though it's you and it's all inside of you, but it's a part of us that we just have denied from so much of our lives, you know?

Jan (41:18.126)
Hmm.

Jan (41:22.995)
Yeah.

Jan (41:31.73)
Yeah. So as an intuitive healer and coach, you've done some writing as well. I think you should tell our audience about some of those things that you are currently up to and have done that you are still doing. And so people will know how to get in touch with you if they wanted to do that. But you mostly call yourself the clear tangent. That's the main one that you use most of the

Eboni (42:00.336)
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Because, you know, like I said, it triggers the other things for me. And the other things are happening even when I'm not doing that work. But just like I have to give it a space that the public can understand. And so that's the way I talk about it. I keep it under the clear tangent heading to simplify it. So yeah, I've written a book that teaches people how to access more of their intuition.

Jan (42:01.864)
I love that.

Jan (42:14.677)
Right.

Yeah.

Jan (42:21.198)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (42:27.367)
We've been talking to publishers about it for a while now, and I'm really excited for it to come out soon. And it's really written in layman's terms. I don't talk about the Claire's in that book at all because I really wanted it to be accessible to everyone, you know? And I don't know if everyone is ready for like Claire senses. And so, yeah, it's a very...

Jan (42:38.67)
Okay.

Yeah.

Jan (42:47.126)
But we definitely all know we have intuition. We talk about it all the time, but we don't necessarily have a guide as to how to get better in touch with that intuition or that gut feeling or that your gut will just tell you so much. I just cannot express how important that is when we're talking about, certainly about, you know, dangerous situations.

Eboni (42:49.884)
Yes.

Eboni (42:56.22)
Yes.

Eboni (43:02.26)
Yes.

Jan (43:11.97)
you know, when you're an adult, especially you can have those gut feelings about something, you know, whether it would be related to sexual assault or abuse or grooming or one of those sorts of things. And yet, you know, it can be so easily manipulated because we so often don't have that kind of trust. We have not, we have not developed the self-trust, especially, you know, innocent kids and tweens, teenagers, young adults, you're still...

You're still developing and all those things. So as you, as you, you know, being a coach now, as you went from trauma, you know, the trauma that you experienced, how does, how does that intuition, so that it's accessible to everyone who might be listening, how did you use that to heal from trauma?

Eboni (44:03.963)
Well, it guided me to so many activities, you know, and things that supported my healing. And I had a conversation with, oh, what is his name? Dr. James Gordon, who does a lot of work on trauma and healing. And he had written a book on transformation a few years ago. And I met him in person and I asked him, you know, how was I able to ask him the same question, right? How did that happen? And he said, well, what were you doing?

Jan (44:15.468)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (44:29.827)
And I told him I was meditating, I was doing yoga, I was doing crystal therapy. Like I said, I'm mystic, I'm very much into crystals. And he said, oh, well, that's what did it. And I said, well, what do you mean? And he said that there's something called a con-natural conversation that the mind and the body are always having. They're always communicating with each other. And so those activities that I was doing, they were so loving.

and they supported me and being able to like admit that this horrible thing happened to me, which then, you know, I did several things to make sure I was taking good care of myself. You know, I went to therapy, had a past life regression, painting was really big for me, that the two paintings behind me are my own. You know, so it's really about allowing yourself to receive the information and following the guidance.

because we will all be guided to different things in different ways based on who we are and our individual experiences. So once you allow yourself to be guided, then it really takes off. Yes, so it's about opening yourself up to that.

Jan (45:19.566)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (45:35.734)
up to the guidance, opening yourself up to the guidance, the guidance system that's here.

Eboni (45:36.771)
Yeah. Opening yourself up to the guidance. Yeah. The guidance that's already inside of you. And you know, I want to share too that the gut instinct is really the beginner level because we can feel intuition anywhere in our body from head to toe. You know, your body will give you so much information about either like yes or no to something. If something feels good to you or not, if someone is lying or not, like your body is telling it again, it's happening all the time,

enough attention, but you know, like if you're someone who, um, you know, clenches your jaw or raises your shoulders or, you know, you crunch your toes in your shoes, those kinds of things, they're giving you information. If your body is responding like that to something you're being told or to something you're feeling in an environment that you're in, that's all your intuition too. You know, all of those are little signs.

Jan (46:19.327)
Mmm.

Jan (46:31.462)
Mm-hmm. That's interesting because I know that sometimes I'll catch myself with that, like my toes clenched in my shoe and I'm like, what's wrong? What's going on? You know, because I didn't notice it, but now, but then I do all of a sudden I'm like, oh, something's up. You know, something's off. Something, you know, and then to just try to kind of tune in, tap in, tune in, whatever. Yeah.

Eboni (46:40.617)
Yes.

Eboni (46:46.235)
Yep.

Eboni (46:52.879)
Yes. Yes, exactly. To see what information you're picking up on, that your body is telling you that you're picking up on it. Because that's all intuition is. It's information.

Jan (47:00.213)
Right.

Yeah, that's really.

information. So if somebody wanted to work with you, how would they get in touch with you? How are you easily accessible, Ebony?

Eboni (47:13.959)
I hope so. I have a website, which is just my name, ebonybanks.me, E-B-O-N-I. And then I share lots of information on my Instagram. I just finished a series about the seven clear senses, you know, and I have video going into more detail about what they are and how to know if that's like your gift. It's on Instagram. They're on my Instagram.

Jan (47:33.31)
Is that on YouTube or where do you have those videos? Okay.

Eboni (47:37.743)
Yeah, so my Instagram you can link from my website. It's at intuitive ebony rights, but those are the best places to find me. You can book appointments there as well on my website if you want.

Jan (47:48.686)
Oh, that's wonderful. Okay. Well, is there anything else that, you know, you're like, Oh, this was burning in my, in my, in my intuitive heart and gut. I didn't say it. Let's make sure we didn't get, we didn't forget anything. I mean, obviously there's so much more to this conversation. I'm sure we could go on, but this has really been an interesting conversation for me, because sometimes I think I, I know something in my, I know that knowingness, that, that.

Eboni (47:50.046)
Yeah.

Eboni (47:53.936)
I'm gonna use the one.

Eboni (47:59.272)
I mean, I

Eboni (48:02.596)
Yes.

Eboni (48:06.376)
Yes.

Jan (48:18.074)
whatever the one was the knowing Claire something cognizant and yet I want to believe something different I want to believe that oh but with just a little more time or a little more help or a little more this or that you know somehow I'm gonna you know make something better or change something and I think that's also you know human nature to want to you know sometimes we just hold on too long you know

Eboni (48:19.635)
Clear cognizance.

Eboni (48:42.452)
voice.

Yep. I mean, I guess the biggest takeaway I want people to know is that it's not, you know, it's not a woo thing. It's a very real, practical, you know, thing. And what you just spoke of is really where all the work lives. Because once you open yourself up to receive your intuition, you're going to have a lot of those experiences that you just spoke of, like, oh, do you want to follow it? Do you want to listen to it? Right? And so that is where the work.

Jan (48:56.301)
Right.

Jan (49:09.742)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (49:15.079)
is, but once you open yourself up, that's going to happen quite easily and naturally. And the work is going to be in you kind of having to fight with your brain over fighting with your intuition.

Jan (49:20.935)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (49:31.632)
So basically you're saying that the intuition really lives in your body, not in your brain. The brain really is just that one thing that just is trying to keep us alive. Really.

Eboni (49:43.943)
That's how I understand it. I think intuition is more intelligent than the brain because it knows what the brain doesn't know. In my case with repressing my trauma, I always knew, like my intuition always knew, but my brain wouldn't let me accept it because it was a coping mechanism for me to not allow my brain to accept it. And your intuition.

Jan (49:58.83)
Hmm.

Jan (50:06.651)
Right. So did you literally not remember the trauma or was it just trauma happened? I've turned that off. How would you describe when you're saying I couldn't, I wouldn't or couldn't see it or deal with it?

Eboni (50:21.403)
The way I understand it is that I did not have an awareness that happened to me. I did not have a conscious awareness that happened because my brain pushed it, it hurt me so deeply that my brain pushed it so far away from my consciousness that it's as if it didn't happen. So I'm behaving as if it didn't happen because I didn't have a conscious awareness of it anymore. Do you get that? Yeah, yeah.

Jan (50:28.544)
Okay.

Jan (50:45.618)
All right. OK. Yes, totally. Yeah, I do. Absolutely.

Eboni (50:49.944)
And I learned from a therapist that repression is a very typical response to rape, specifically.

Jan (50:55.666)
Yes. And to, yes, to childhood rape and lots of people that have very, very few memories of what happened, but they know something happened. They can know certain things. And one of our, another person that we often do work with on our Thrive Ivers community, our online community, we have special guests that come in and talk about things like what you're talking about today. Or we have a detective that...

Eboni (51:00.328)
Yes.

Jan (51:24.95)
then became a trauma informed specialist and he talks about implicit and explicit memories. That implicit memories are things that you think or you know kind of a story around something or whatever and then maybe the right smell. See this is where what you're saying ties back to trauma. A specific smell, a specific touch, a specific scene something, you know, all of a sudden will bring that implicit memory into an explicit place.

Eboni (51:33.887)
move

Eboni (51:45.268)
Yes.

Yes.

Eboni (51:53.481)
Yep.

Jan (51:54.378)
And I think that's really an interesting thing about all those senses.

Eboni (51:57.991)
Yes, yes. And the journey through, when it comes specifically to the Claire senses, you know, the journey is really through the five senses. It's just a more, it's more information that you're getting, you know, but it starts with the five senses. So we're just so much greater than we know. And I feel like people who are trauma survivors and have experienced trauma are really, we specifically, I think have a really...

We have a greater capacity than people who haven't experienced trauma to get to this understanding of ourselves because our life is kind of forcing us to, you know? And that's how I see my healing journey as such a gift because had I not experienced the trauma, I would not have gone on this healing journey and I would not have gotten to all these places in my awareness of myself and of life, you know, that I have. And for people who don't experience trauma, they never...

Jan (52:35.271)
Yeah. Mhm.

Jan (52:47.49)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Eboni (52:52.787)
delve deeper into that. They never go into that kind of deep self-inquiry because nothing in their life asked them to, you know? They didn't have to.

Jan (52:55.264)
right.

Yes.

Right, they didn't have to. I know I love that quote by William Shakespeare that I can't tell it to you exactly even though I'm an actress. But it says, some are born into greatness, some create or they make something great and then others greatness is thrust upon them. And I think people who survive really, really difficult things, the greatness is being

Eboni (53:08.543)
I'm sorry.

Eboni (53:20.859)
Yes.

Jan (53:29.646)
thrust upon them. And so taking the opportunity to then, you know, figure out, okay, I do want to deal with this. I do want to know my, myself, have self-trust.

Eboni (53:30.952)
Yes.

Jan (53:47.042)
have that intuition, listen to the senses all over my body, as you said. I always call it my gut, but now I won't be able to do that anymore because now you've taught me something new that it's really true. And it is really true because I was thinking about that. I was just at something just day before yesterday and it was like I was at McDonald's and I could just, all of a sudden I was just, I had the sensation and not because I was with my ex-husband and my son, but-

Eboni (53:55.655)
Yeah.

Eboni (54:08.53)
Hahaha.

Eboni (54:16.199)
Hehehe

Jan (54:16.554)
But because maybe what we were talking about or something, I don't know. But all of a sudden I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm not breathing. My, my, my shoulders are like, you know, and, and then my feet, the toes in my shoes, you know, in my tennis shoes, I had on really comfortable shoes, but it was so funny, I, at one point I was like, okay, you have to calm down so that you can allow the right thoughts or the right conversation to unfold.

Eboni (54:24.027)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Eboni (54:35.583)
Hmm... V?

Eboni (54:44.755)
Yes.

Jan (54:45.246)
It was really interesting how I had this very specific like, oh, you know, and a lot of people say, well, breathe. And I'm like, okay, but it's more than just breathing. It's like, I want to be able to flow or to be able to say or feel from the others around me, you know, the best course, you know, for myself and for even other people in my life that I care about, you know, something like that.

Eboni (54:51.89)
Yes.

Eboni (55:04.252)
Yeah.

Eboni (55:11.771)
I love that and that's such a beautiful example because that's exactly how it happens. You know, the awareness comes to us in some way, shape or form. And it's just our job to sit with it. Just sit with it instead of like ignoring it like we do most of the time, just to sit with it and say, what else is attempting to be communicated to me in this moment? You know?

Jan (55:17.619)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (55:25.078)
Mm-hmm.

Jan (55:32.322)
Hmm. What else is attempting to be communicated with me in this moment? I love that. Now you're William Shakespeare to me. That's so good. What more is trying to be communicated in this moment? I love that so much. That's really great. Oh, that's a good way to probably tie up this podcast, to just sit with that, to listen, to just sit with. What else is

Eboni (55:48.523)
Yeah.

Jan (56:01.106)
is this moment, you know, this feeling, these physical sensations, what is trying to be communicated with me. It's just more information. It's just more kind of data, but not the brain data, every other piece of the physical, the mental, the emotional, the spiritual body. Oh gosh, Ebony, what an amazing conversation. I've loved it so much.

Eboni (56:17.127)
Yes.

Eboni (56:21.747)
Yes. Yay, I'm so glad you like it. I hope it all makes sense. Like it's so big, you know? And so I try to talk about it in a way that is accessible. So I hope it all is clear.

Jan (56:32.877)
Right.

Jan (56:39.886)
Oh, I think so. I definitely think so. And I think it really is so important because trauma survivors that are really interested in thriving and being more, what's the word? I call it freed up, being freed up from that heavy weight. I think this is one of the ways that often gets overlooked because something happened to us that made us not trust ourselves or

Eboni (56:53.449)
Yeah.

Eboni (57:06.526)
Yes.

Jan (57:06.786)
to feel an extreme amount of shame or guilt or the things that don't free us up. And also I think being able to give it over to that greatness thrust upon us as you were talking about also gives us a sense of being able to let go and to realize that there was something in the experience that I could, I don't like to always throw that on every survivor well, you're supposed to learn all these things from that horrible, horrible thing that happened to you.

Eboni (57:12.787)
Yes.

Eboni (57:19.903)
Mm-hmm.

Eboni (57:32.771)
Yeah.

Jan (57:35.754)
You know, I try not to say it in that way, but there, there really is only one choice. Does it destroy you or does, or do you get to move to another, you know, level of your own, you know, your own actualization and awareness? Yeah.

Eboni (57:40.732)
Yes.

Eboni (57:48.135)
Awareness, yes, yes. And I think all trauma survivors are so, we're so like great in that way. And once you make the choice to get to know more, you know, it's like you will find your greatness. And that's really the light in the dark that you spoke of a while ago, right? It's like that you will see who you really are and what you're capable of, you know?

Jan (58:01.644)
Yes.

Jan (58:07.617)
Yeah.

Jan (58:12.63)
And that I love because I love when people and myself included have those discoveries. We are capable of way more than we think we are or then when this problem started or this horrible thing happened and then gosh. And really truly I do think it is a good practice to look back and go, oh, I have come a long way. I'm still a work in progress, but I think it's important to just daily be able to

Eboni (58:33.247)
Yes. Yep.

Jan (58:39.878)
live in a new day, a new moment. It's not like I can do that all the time. I'm certainly not perfect at it, but this allows me to once again trust my own intuition and that my own awareness can guide me, if not anybody else.

Eboni (58:41.524)
Yes.

Eboni (58:48.53)
Yeah.

Eboni (58:55.919)
Yes, absolutely. Totally. Absolutely. And it's a journey, you know? So I implore everyone to be easy with themselves, you know, because it is a muscle that you haven't used in a long time, or maybe not in this way ever, I should say.

Jan (59:01.428)
Yes.

Jan (59:05.535)
Yes.

Jan (59:12.435)
Right. And that muscle, just like any muscle you want to build, there has to be resistance or you can't build the muscle. It doesn't happen that you can just like without a weight in your hand or a push up on the floor or something, you have to have resistance. So I think when we have those moments in our life where we're experiencing some resistance.

Eboni (59:15.963)
Yep.

Eboni (59:23.061)
All right.

Eboni (59:29.13)
Yep.

Jan (59:37.406)
that gives the opportunity that gives way to the opportunity to practice you know to build the muscle as you said well ebony banks you are so light you just have this light bursting out of your face and your smile and in every way thank you so i'm serious

Eboni (59:43.486)
Yes.

Eboni (59:51.059)
Thank you. I'm so happy to hear that. I had such a good time. Thank you for this conversation. So juicy.

Jan (59:59.534)
was amazing. It was juicy. I loved it. And I just really hope you have something light and something fun to do the rest of your day to day. What's next on your schedule?

Eboni (01:00:13.403)
Yes. Well, it's been raining. I'm in New York City and you guys have seen the floods on the news. Luckily, my neighborhood didn't get any of that or the area of Brooklyn that I'm in. So, and today it's 74 and sunny and there's a festival, a street festival literally outside my door. So I'm going to go through that. Yes.

Jan (01:00:19.579)
Oh, yes.

Jan (01:00:27.894)
Oh, fun. Okay. You're gonna walk outside your door. Perfect. I love it. Well, thank you. Again, Ebony spelled with an I, E-B-O-N-I, Banks, B-A-N-K-S. And if we just know your name, we can find you, whether it's on Instagram or a website and any other ways we'll put those in our show notes. Thank you so much for being my guest today. I appreciate it. Yes.

Eboni (01:00:45.666)
Yes.

Eboni (01:00:51.643)
Okay. Thank you so much.

Eboni (01:00:59.127)
Oh, good. I'm so glad.