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Matt and Friends Drink the Universe
Welcome to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe, the comedy podcast where great drinks meet great stories. Join host Matt and a rotating crew of friends as they share laughs, taste unique craft beers, cocktails, wines, and spirits, and dive into the stories, history, and science behind every sip.
Every episode brings something different — from fan-favorite Stellar Sips (the drinks we love) to those dreaded Cosmic Chugs (the ones that crash and burn). You’ll also find a mix of fun episode themes like Alcohology, Think or Drink Trivia, Rocket Rankings, Bar Chats, and How Did We Get Beer? to keep every listen fresh and entertaining.
Packed with hilarious banter, fun facts, and plenty of libation inspiration, this show is perfect for anyone who enjoys discovering new flavors while kicking back with great company.
So grab your favorite drink, relax, and join us as we drink our way through the universe — one unforgettable pour at a time. Cheers!
Matt and Friends Drink the Universe
56. Roll for Cocktail Part 2 "The Dice Taketh Away"
Chris, Josh, and Siobhan join Matt as fate takes control of the cocktail shaker in this hilarious second round of our drink-based Russian roulette. Armed with nothing but dice and questionable courage, Matt and friends submit themselves to the whims of chance as they roll for cocktail ingredients that no sane bartender would ever combine.
The dice show no mercy as rolls produce increasingly apocalyptic combinations: a shot mixing gin, pickle juice followed by a curdling science experiment and a unanimously reviled tequila martini with pickle juice.
Through grimaces and gags our brave drinkers uncover a fundamental truth about cocktail creation—balance is everything, and sweetness is crucial for making even the strangest combinations palatable. The episode delivers equal parts mixology disaster, chemistry lesson, and friendship test as participants down concoctions that would make even the most adventurous bartender blanch.
Text us your own random cocktail experiences or suggestions for the future —though after this episode, pickle juice might be permanently banned from the rotation.
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Cheers, and thanks for listening!
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Josh:We have liftoff. Welcome to Matt and Friends. Drink the Universe. Drink the Universe.
Matt:Alright, welcome back to the Matt and friends drink the universe hunger games.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:If you missed the first episode, greetings. My friends. Gather round yon tavern table. We have no menu here. Nay, here fate depends on a roll of the dice. The combinations are endless. Actually, there are 2,880,000 possible combinations. Will the odds be in your favor, or will your Jaeger and Clamato juice be garnished with jalapeno? This quest is not for the timid and weak.
Matt:Prepare yourselves and weak, prepare yourselves. It's time to roll for cocktail. All right, and I have the same crew that, for whatever reason, decided to come back for part two, most likely because they were still in my house. And I said, let's do a second round.
Siobhan:And we really didn't get burned too bad, no. So so now we will.
Chris:Inevitability is about to catch up to us.
Siobhan:That's right, karma.
Matt:I'm not reading those cool intros again, so go around the table, introduce yourselves. My name is Josh, I'm Chris.
Siobhan:I'm Siobhan.
Matt:And we're going to roll for cocktails. We have the whole cocktail sheet here.
Chris:I wanted Siobhan to be like I'm drunk.
Siobhan:She's getting there. It's not wrong.
Matt:We are less sober than when we started the first episode.
Siobhan:I've organized our dice, I'm now praying Okay, I prayed for habanero.
Chris:I got my habanero on the first one. I'm now praying for a little Jaeger.
Josh:I think a Malort shot would be nice hey.
Siobhan:Have you tried the Malort? Were you part of it? Okay, he was the. Well, you were the second round.
Josh:I was second roll. I still don't hate it. It's almost gone. Am I the only one here that likes Jaeger?
Siobhan:Well, Jaeger sucks. I like Jaeger. Chris is good with Jaeger. I don't know if I care about Jaeger.
Chris:That was my 21 and 22-year-old self right there. Oh yeah, Well, yeah.
Josh:Down at the hoe you know how many times Jaeger bombs for a dollar Down at the tally-ho.
Siobhan:Whatever the they were cheap. Shout out to maddie puke twice there it's probably chris's, yeah, well, no, no, his is at mcgrady's. Yeah, thank you. How many times?
Matt:I quoted the jaeger bombs jaeger bombs fucking jaeger bombs, yeah, so jen's been on this podcast before my first like this chick is really cool moment. We were at a party and I ordered a shot of jaeger and she was like I want one too. It was not a jaeger bomb, just a straight up shot of jaeger. And she was like I want one too.
Chris:It was not a Jaeger bomb, just a straight up shot of Jaeger and I was like that is balls right there.
Josh:All right, that's cool, all right. So you thought she was cool because she did a shot with you and then you married her and she was like I don't drink anymore, I'm out.
Siobhan:Yeah, more or less, she fooled the shit out of you Just kidding, so I'm going to roll first this time.
Matt:God help us all, and we're going to see what happens. Who has the sheet, by the way? Right behind you, matt. There you go. Nope, it's on my desk behind me. There we go. Drunk man, be drunken.
Chris:A ll right.
Josh:I still burped. Hit me up with a D6 to start for the style Matt.
Siobhan:Three.
Josh:Three is going to're loving the vodka all right of note, we took away the re-roll option.
Chris:There will be no re-rolls we are going to drink the cocktails that the dice tell us to drink double d20 I'm willing to re-roll this to get something more interesting, just for the record.
Siobhan:Start again. I'll do it. No, just for the vodka, just that roll.
Chris:I mean Replace the vodka. Yeah, Right after talking about not re-rolling An eight. Bourbon.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:All right, oh, I love it much better.
Josh:Ooh All right. Let's go Bour Now. I need two D20s please. Oh, I think one of those is cocked.
Siobhan:Yeah, this one Reroll that.
Josh:So we have a seven, which I'll tell you after.
Siobhan:A seven seven.
Josh:Double sevens, double cherry Kool-Aid.
Siobhan:Oh, and bourbon, All right, okay, okay.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:All right, okay, we've got ourselves sort of a. Manhattan, here All right. Y We've got ourselves sort of Manhattan here, all right, Yikes.
Josh:Now I need a D12 for the power up, the modifier, all right.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Eight Eight is sweet vermouth again.
Siobhan:We are very Manhattan-y on this, okay, okay, but I think we should commit.
Josh:We're committed here. And then the D10, one last time for the garnish. They're literally organized Nine're committed here, and then the D10, one last time for the garnish. They're literally organized Nine A, nine Olives, ooh, uh-oh.
Matt:That took a turn.
Josh:No, honestly not bad. So a very classic Venetian spritz. A Venetian spritz is made with a bitter liqueur which is kind of similar to a sweet vermouth, and they do olives in there, rather than like an orange twist, which a lot of people do in an Aperol spritz. So the saltiness, with the sweet from the cherry and the sweet vermouth, I don't think is going to be bad. I think you've got a winner on your hands.
Matt:Will it be a Venetian spritz or the Venetian sewer? We'll find out shortly preemptively.
Chris:I think we need to send this cocktail recipe to Bert , who loves himself some cherry kool-aid. That's what I. I've watched that clip a lot of times.
Josh:Top 10 podcast moments right there so funny, Bert, where the two of them lose their mind laughing about how much kool-aid he drinks in a day so good I want the machine on this podcast.
Matt:Never gonna happen, but it's okay yeah I mean, if he was ever around he'd probably come on, just willing to react, to come on just him to react to like a tweet or an instagram post tagging him, I will be happy I feel like this is the podcast he should guest on, though true, this is Bert Kreischer, the one with, uh, the caleb presley, where they?
Josh:where he goes on the little monologue about how he likes having the first drink with somebody, or waking up and having mimosas or whatever. And Glennie Balls is like you, inspired me you got me fired up.
Matt:Fired up that's another one of my favorites. The man inspired me to go to the gym with one simple sentence I always wanted to be in shape enough that I can drink there, you go All right.
Chris:moving on, Siobhan.
Josh:Hit me with a D6 for the style of your cocktail, please. All right, that's a one. One is a shot, shot shot. All right. So we've got a shot, shot shot shot. And then I need a D10 for your base spirit.
Siobhan:It's a one.
Josh:Oh, boy, it's gin.
Siobhan:Okay, a gin shot a gin shot okay all, right now.
Josh:I need two d20s, please, for your mixer we got a four and a six I don't know that you're gonna love that great. We have four as pickle juice and six is milk all right.
Siobhan:I mean, here we are.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:This is our nightmare I think we all know how it was reached it here.
Chris:It is chaotic it's a shot, so it's a shot. How bad can it be?
Josh:listen, I mean bad only bad for one second right all right, I need your d12, please for your power-up modifier I, I'm gonna give this, this one to.
Matt:Siobhan on behalf of the dice.
Siobhan:Beer trail.
Matt:Oh we got a 10 for that modifier.
Josh:I don't know that this can get better. I mean, 10's supposed to be a good one, but this is melon schnapps.
Siobhan:Okay, yep, it's going to be really horrible, can't wait.
Josh:All right, gin, melon, schnapps, pickle juice and milk. We've been on the pickle juice Yikes. That has been one of ours. Okay, so a garnish D10, please, Okay.
Siobhan:A five.
Josh:A five, we get a salt rim on this. Okay, I mean maybe that'll help.
Siobhan:I'm scared.
Chris:Chris, read it back to us we have a shot of gin, pickle juice, milk, melon schnapps with the salt rim. Little salty surprise at the end there.
Josh:I'm pretty sure we're not gonna be surprised at how bad this is a salty creamy cocktail anyone's gonna make everybody do that.
Siobhan:It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me.
Josh:I think we have a contender for worst cocktail so far, so excited.
Matt:I already got a name for this one. I know what you're thinking and I don't like it.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:You have no idea what. I'm thinking, because I said salty and creamy?
Siobhan:You have no idea. Listen, get ready.
Josh:Okay, let's move on to Chris here. He's going to roll a D6 for us.
Siobhan:That's a 2.
Josh:Number 2. So this is going to be in a rocks glass, shaken and then served neat. What do we?
Matt:have A 9.
Josh:Vodka we're okay, so far 2 D20s please for your mixers 8 and 16. 8 is re-roll two more dice, and sixteen is club soda. So you have club soda and you gotta roll two more d20s, two more d20s, and we use both.
Chris:Yep, we use both.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Oh, triple mixing, here we go.
Chris:Eleven and. I think, a crook Yep.
Josh:You're lucky, because it was almost a one. So, 11 is lemon juice and six is milk again, so I'm sorry, we said milk lemon juice.
Siobhan:Milk lemon juice and club, soda and club soda Good Lord. That would be a fizzy curdled milk.
Josh:So so far it is chilled and in a rocks glass. Vodka with milk, club soda and lemon juice. Wow, that's going to be gross.
Siobhan:This is the time.
Josh:Hit us with a D12, please for your modifier Five. We're going to add dry vermouth to this whole concoction. And now hit us with a D10 for the garnish Eight. Eight is mint of all things.
Chris:Wow, we're going gardening in. Matt's backyard. This is going to be wild.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:You're welcome.
Matt:I'm so scared I feel like the Matt and Friends spaceship was doing great and someone tried to parallel park between two asteroids.
Chris:We went Rick and Morty onto it.
Josh:We did not have the chaos in round one, but we have brought the chaos in round two.
Siobhan:I can't wait to see all the reactions, all right, Josh, you're up next.
Chris:Roll that D6.
Matt:Okay, here we go. Beautiful six footage. It wasn't Rick and Morty, it was Futurama.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Six.
Josh:Choice. We haven't had a martini yet, so we're doing a martini All right.
Chris:Next is a D10 for base spirit. All right, base spirit is going to be what is that? A four, I can't read it. Yes, not because I'm drunk because, that dice has terrible farts A four, that's tequila.
Josh:Okay, we haven't had a tequila drink yet.
Siobhan:Yikes, almost like Chris wrote, we've got a tequila, martini, so far.
Chris:Chris wrote the numbers on that dice. Now, what do I need? Two D20s D20s for your mixer four and 17 pickle juice and coke, oh, not the white kind in the martini, uh, okay not the white kind listen d12 coming up next for your power.
Siobhan:I might need some of the white kind to get through all this cocktails with the white client around here, all right roll that d12 for a power up, a d12 12 triple sec.
Matt:Okay, triple sec all right triple second tequila we're almost in margarita, minus the coke that we're in here and the fact that it's a martini last up is your garnish you can have a you can have a
Josh:margarita up a nerd 10, here we go, nine, we got pickle and olive.
Siobhan:yeah, yeah, yeah I think this one works, so we've got pickle, we've got olive.
Josh:What else do we?
Siobhan:have here? We've got a martini with tequila, pickle juice, coke, a cola triple sec and olive. We should have put that as cola not coke. We were so close. That's what I feel like I'm going to name this. This is going to be like we were almost there. We were almost there. We were almost there, yeah we're having a martini with some cocaine.
Chris:Which one are we doing first? Are we doing Matt's?
Siobhan:first God. They're all bad Because it's a shot right, His was a shot?
Josh:Yeah, none of them are frozen so it's not going to take any longer.
Chris:We can just do them, do them around the clock.
Josh:Yeah, around the clock.
Chris:All right, let's go.
Josh:All right, poop water is up on the menu.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:This looks like a kidney stone.
Siobhan:So quick story where's rob?
Josh:oh, he has kidney stones, that's quick story about the martini glasses.
Matt:j Jen hates when I bring home random crap for the house and they had a big yard sale and I just love to go and walk around the yard sale and find random shit and I went up to my neighbor's house and they had this set of martini glasses which are rather nice martini glasses.
Josh:Cheers Four bucks Very nice.
Siobhan:Nice.
Matt:And I came home with like this big box. The box was way oversized for having four martini glasses and Jen was like what the hell did you buy?
Josh:How does she feel about the eight snare drums?
Siobhan:in your garage. Those were also $4.
Matt:Actually, they were all free. I didn't pay a dollar for any of them.
Siobhan:I also feel like we are absolutely doing $4 martini glasses justice with the will that we have now added to this glass.
Matt:All right, shall we sip Pablo Escobar's bathwater here.
Josh:Cheers it up. All right, listen, we didn't even tell them what we have here, right Recap. So we have tequila, what is it? One part tequila oh you sipped it, I did. What did I do? One part half oh you sipped it, I did. What did I do? One part, half part, half part Is that what I said?
Siobhan:Yes, I think so.
Josh:My ears are burning.
Chris:It was one part tequila, three quarter part pickle, three quarter part triple sec. Splashed a little Coke on top, threw an olive in there.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:We're about to die.
Siobhan:It doesn't look good. Matt said his ears hurt.
Josh:It looks like we scooped it out of the sewer, so hey, cheers to that.
Siobhan:We're real close to Jersey. Let's do this. What a fancy martini we have here. Oh yeah.
Josh:Oh boy, oh, that's bad.
Siobhan:Oh my God, you guys Holy cow.
Chris:It could honestly be worse.
Josh:Yeah, we're about to get worse.
Siobhan:But it's pretty bad. Would you add milk to make it worse? The brine of it is just.
Josh:Don't forget to get your olive out and give that a taste.
Chris:That is. I don't know if I can do that. I'm going to take one more sip for posterity Ouchie.
Siobhan:Oh, let's rate this. I'm going to give this a negative 25.
Josh:It's really bad Listen once you get the poop water off the olive, the olive just tastes like an olive Great.
Matt:I'm just saying Since this is a scale from 1 to 10, 1.
Chris:Oh yeah, I'll also give it the 1.
Josh:No, no, no, you have to leave room for the milk cocktails that are coming up.
Chris:You can also give them a 1.
Siobhan:You think they're going to be worse. They're going to curdle.
Josh:There has to be room for something worse.
Chris:And lemon juice is definitely getting a 0.
Siobhan:The other one has also pickle juice.
Chris:Yeah, it's going to be a bad day I don't see them being as good as this.
Josh:And I use the word good with like the word. I use the word good, but I mean bad, yeah, but they're going to be worse, yep.
Siobhan:I still. I got one and a half.
Josh:I'm giving it a two, one and a half. I'm giving it a two because I got to leave room in the basement.
Chris:That's how I think of that cocktail.
Josh:I'm going to drink it anyway, because why not? Good, I'll tell you a lot of reasons yeah, I got many Me vomiting.
Matt:I've tasted things like that before, but it's normally. You just fucking slammed it too.
Chris:That was bad, really really bad, and none of you even ate your olives.
Josh:Bunch of sissies, yeah.
Siobhan:I don't care, I'm going to say this. You can call me that all day.
Chris:They are the largest olives I've ever seen in my life.
Siobhan:I'm not eating that, oh no, that's an olive.
Matt:Big olives, and I cannot lie. I'm going to say one thing before we adjourn, and that's I've tasted that before and drinking yeah right, no, listen what comes back out don't have to be done with this segment.
Josh:I we made everybody eat some of the beef jerky. I feel like the three of you need to take a bite of these olives this guy over here, you don't have to eat the whole thing, but you gotta get an olives you know my fingers feel defiled trying to.
Matt:Otherwise, what are we doing?
Siobhan:here you know oh no it's gross, just like I thought.
Josh:I don't know Fuck you, you ate the whole thing, Matt. Why are you making that?
Siobhan:face. All I did was a bite. It's not that bad, it's just.
Josh:Brian Ew dude.
Siobhan:Back into the martini. Why, bro, we have napkins.
Josh:We have paper towels.
Siobhan:We have other ways to do things.
Josh:Oh, yes, sorry about that. And that's why I made you do it All, right, well.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Yeah.
Josh:Yuck, all right.
Matt:I have two glasses now, and smelling them separately does not help.
Josh:Siobhan said this best it looks like bong water.
Matt:I think that's accurate.
Josh:I don't know, I mean come on.
Matt:Doesn't look burnt. It smells like mint. That's true Mint so far. What's in the glass looks?
Josh:nice.
Siobhan:Yes, I would drink. I feel like maybe I want to try it. I guess maybe that's not allowed.
Chris:For a recap here. Thank you. We've got in a rocks glass. That's plastic. We got one part vodka, one part lemon juice, half part dry vermouth. We have a little topping of club, and then what we did was we put a little milk and by milk we mean lactate-free milk in a shot glass.
Josh:Oh, there's mint in it.
Siobhan:And mint yeah.
Josh:I shook the vodka, the vodka, the lemon juice, the mint together. Uh, then I topped it with club. So I strained that out into the rocks last and topped it with club and everybody has a little shot glass with milk in here that they're gonna pour in and then drink, because I didn't want to put the milk in before I shook it because I felt like I would have got cottage cheese.
Siobhan:Oh, God no.
Josh:So we're just going to make cottage cheese in our bellies. It's going to be like Bill Nye, the Science Guy, get ready, hey, cheers to everybody.
Siobhan:I don't know. No, it's going to be great. You're going to love it. We're in the whole thing. Wait, isn't there soda in here too?
Josh:Yeah, club soda right.
Siobhan:Oh, it looks so bad, that's not bad.
Chris:It's not good, the mint saves it.
Siobhan:Honestly, this doesn't bother me at all.
Chris:I took two big chugs and I'm done. It is the lemon and the mint.
Matt:Oh, it is hardcore curdling in that glass as I'm watching, yeah starting to look a little, but it doesn't taste terrible.
Siobhan:It definitely doesn't taste terrible.
Matt:It doesn't taste like much.
Siobhan:It tastes like mint.
Matt:Oh for sure, though Mostly mint, it doesn't look great.
Siobhan:No, it's not cute.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:That's uh yeah.
Josh:Yeah, it's like a science experiment. Sure Not as bad as the last one. Thank you, Josh.
Siobhan:I definitely think this is an improvement, even though I don't want more of this.
Chris:This is like a four, three and a half Wow.
Siobhan:I would go with a three at the most for me the lemon and the mint are refreshing.
Chris:I'm not about to continue to drink this.
Josh:What would it be like if it had real milk in it?
Chris:So we have lactate milk because that's what they drink here in the Welser house. We don't have the scientist in the house we need.
Siobhan:Rob for that. I know Science. Where is he?
Matt:I did just send him a text picture of what that looks.
Josh:like that picture looks suspicious, horrific Good lord.
Siobhan:My goodness, I know, we try Reproductive.
Chris:Sciences Officially an 18 plus episode.
Josh:Listen, I'll tell you what this is what it looks like we make our own ricotta cheese at home. This is what it looks like Just saying yeah, another hour.
Siobhan:I will not make the comment that I was going to make. Go ahead.
Chris:No.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:I will not make the comment that I was going to make. Go ahead. No, I'll say it off the air this is an 18 and older.
Chris:No, I'll say it off the air.
Siobhan:But this is not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Chris:Zoinks, that's what she said we survived though.
Matt:Okay, and we have two left. I believe I'm drinking it, I do.
Siobhan:Did we all rate?
Chris:this rate this, oh uh three, three, three, three is fair. You said four, I said four. Look out again four. Wow, I mean, before it starts curdling, it's pretty delightful.
Josh:This is hard to curdle in two seconds, so without the club soda, if you let this sit overnight and then tomorrow you strained it out yeah, this would be a milk punch, exactly like the, the, the acid would congeal with the milk and it would clarify the whole thing and you have a clarified cocktail with vodka and lemon and mint, and it wouldn't be bad right, so, um so, but right now it's not great. Yeah, it's not a drink you want to drink now?
Matt:no, but we lived we're still here, folks, we we're still here.
Chris:We made it well, let still here. We made it. Well, let's see where. More to go On to the next. All right, we're going quick here because we have Aliens, yep, gin, pickle juice, milk, melon schnapps and a salt rim. This looks like Yep. Shamrock shake Slimer's jizz.
Siobhan:Okay, good God. I can't share this with anyone.
Matt:Quote an old friend of mine Jesus fuck almighty.
Josh:Indeed, do the whole shot. Don't be a bitch here we go.
Chris:I don't know if I Do the whole shot. Don't be a bitch. Here we go All down the hatch Clinkers.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Godspeed.
Chris:Godspeed ain't gonna help us here, it didn't clink at all.
Siobhan:The pickle man it's all pickle. I didn't even ask for a lot. It's so salty.
Josh:Oh my god, it's so salty.
Chris:The salt remains you at the end, oh yeah.
Siobhan:I mean, I'll be honest, it's not the worst thing I put in my mouth.
Chris:It's the worst thing.
Siobhan:I don't think it's as bad as the first. The first one was much worse than this. Disagree, but this is a shot and it's over. You sipped it again. I just saw you do it. I wanted to finish it.
Josh:I gotta finish it.
Siobhan:Why, yo, the salt is like a real.
Chris:You got a little jizz left in there. The salt, there you go.
Josh:This was like if you are in the ocean and you come up to take a breath and the wave hits you in the face and you accidentally just swallow the wave, but you're in the Long Island Sound which is not real. Ocean, which is where.
Siobhan:I grew up, so it's an honor.
Josh:No, it's not. Yeah, one Wow.
Chris:I don't know Four.
Josh:I like salty food.
Chris:That's a two. That's a two.
Josh:Four.
Siobhan:Four.
Josh:Suck it. Oh my that is wild.
Siobhan:I would do another one of those shots, Salty pickly. You would do another one of Jersey Shore over here I would do another one of these shots before I attempt to drink another sip of that poop water from earlier. I would agree with that, chris looked like he was going to be deceased when he ate that olive, that's just because, he doesn't like olives.
Josh:No, no, no.
Siobhan:It's because it was an olive in poop water, and so no, I am for I will say I would do another shot of this.
Matt:However, I gave it a two because the poop water is never happening again that's okay, this won't happen again, either you, guys are smart this sucked all right.
Josh:See, this is a good prank shot, it's almost like oh my god it looked okay.
Chris:okay, you can tell somebody it's sugar.
Josh:Call it a key lime pie and hand it to somebody and watch them just puke. Oh, my goodness.
Matt:If you want somebody turning 21 to never drink again. Give them that.
Josh:I think the overwhelming theme so far has been there's a lack of sugar in any of these drinks.
Chris:That we made there's nothing sweet and the one that did have sugar, my, my sugar ridden one from the first episode top contender and that helped.
Josh:Yeah, well, it didn't have sugar in the drink, yeah, but absinthe is sweet, right, and like you need some sweetness to balance a lot of the stuff out, and half of these more than half of these cocktails we've gotten have nothing sweet in them and there's nothing to balance all of the other shitty flavors.
Siobhan:Well, the pickle man, it's just the pickle is just every.
Chris:It overtakes a cocktail so easily and I said I was like make it the least we can, with it still being there. But it still is. Yeah we've had too much pickle across both of these episodes.
Siobhan:I still think it's better than some of it, but that's all right. Yeah, we'll swap out the pickle juice. What will we put in, man?
Chris:We'll have Rob be in the next episode and Clamato juice will be three options and I won't be here.
Siobhan:There you go, peace out. All right, last one Perfect.
Josh:Get ready here we go. This last one can't be bad, nope.
Matt:And I'm holding Kool-Aid bourbon and there's an anus of an olive staring at me.
Siobhan:So what does that even mean?
Josh:Okay, you have to take it there, matt See, it's not me the amount of stuff he just cut out of this episode before this.
Siobhan:It is everyone. Just imagine An anus of amount of what he cut out of this episode. Apparently that's a measurement we're using. Josh, what did you do here? What is?
Matt:in this nightmare right now. You rolled it.
Siobhan:I'm nightmare right now. You rolled it. I I'm aware. Go ahead, tell us, matt. I don't have the. Somebody else wrote it down. Matt's not in charge?
Josh:no, I'm not. This is buffalo trace, bourbon. God bless buffalo trace for giving us the beautiful whiskey, that we're doing what we did to we are just fully ruining it. Oh man, so it's buffalo trace bourbon, a little bit of Kool-Aid powder.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:A little. I didn't measure, I just put it in with a spoon.
Josh:It was not a little bit, you know.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Yeah, it was a considerable amount Cherry Kool-Aid powder.
Josh:You're going to love it. Stop. We rolled cherry Kool-Aid twice, so it has to be double cherry.
Siobhan:Kool-Aid.
Chris:Woo, I just sniffed it.
Siobhan:That's the thing.
Chris:I'm getting high on life right now.
Josh:I bet you are A little bit of sweet vermouth, an olive to garnish and a cherry Kool-Aid powder rim. You're going to love it.
Siobhan:I think it's going to be probably 10 out of 10. This is how you guys know that Josh is in sales. Click it up, click it up. That's why.
Josh:Click it up. Oh, man Every college kid ever will love this Bad choices.
Siobhan:Oh man, Just get a little lick of that this is not bad, you guys, okay oh.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Okay.
Siobhan:Okay, told you. Yep, I was not worried to be fair, except for the olive.
Chris:Oh, this may have subjugated my absinthe drink from episode one you think Well, do you want to know why? Also, we had three horrific cocktails. This episode, this is the sweet to your absinthe sort of refreshing, I'm telling you.
Siobhan:It balances, it's all the balance, the.
Josh:Kool-Aid balances everything else in there.
Siobhan:This is what we wanted.
Josh:I think the olive wasn't there.
Chris:I don't even taste it.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:You don't taste it, Matt you don't even taste it, Matt.
Siobhan:What are you?
Matt:lying, I can smell it.
Siobhan:Eat it, do it, do it, do it.
Josh:This is your podcast. If you want it to grow, you need to eat the olive.
Matt:There's no way I'm eating that olive.
Siobhan:I'm telling you yeah, this, I would drink this again 100%.
Chris:I feel like mine lacks Kool-Aid. Does the rim make it? You feel like Deere's lacks.
Josh:Kool-Aid. It's good. It has the same amount I shook it all together.
Siobhan:It's good, this is what I want.
Chris:This is what we should have put on the Habanero Mezcal rim.
Siobhan:Oh yeah, right here, because this Not sweet, love it. Yeah yeah. So there you go, everybody. Kool-aid, kool-aid powder on the rim I said plum salt, but I'm stupid you should just use-.
Josh:Wait, I thought you said plum sugar.
Siobhan:Oh, maybe is that what I said. Yeah, sure, I said plum sugar probably, but it's Kool-Aid.
Matt:You should just get Kool-Aid Love it want to rate it this seven seven, eight out of ten, for me, eight I'm going seven.
Chris:You said it subjugated your um.
Josh:What did I give that?
Chris:uh more than hell, if anybody knows, you gave it more than also the. We said from the beginning that these are relative to the other cocktails we have in the, but that's my point.
Siobhan:So if it's subjugated, no, but this is part two, absent one.
Josh:This is part two yeah, but you still have to rate it off of the other things we did in the series. Well, if this is rated off of the other three things.
Siobhan:We had this episode. This is a 47. Because, those were horrible. Top, top, top.
Josh:But out of the eight we had in these two-part series this is top two right.
Siobhan:This is definitely top two.
Chris:for me, this is equal, if not slightly better than the.
Siobhan:Absinthe. I think this is better than the Absinthe for me, for sure.
Matt:Call this one the Buffalo Hug.
Chris:Not good enough.
Siobhan:No, no, we need like what did we say? Bert Hatton, oh, the Bert Hatton. Yes, this is for Bert Hatton, this is for you.
Josh:We made a Manhattan with cherry Kool-Aid powder on the rim and in the cocktail. Come have one with us.
Siobhan:Bert Hatton.
Josh:Bert.
Matt:Hatton, Bert Hatton, so Bert , named after you. Sir, we'd love for you to try one. Come on this podcast with us, take a sip, see what you think. Oh yeah, stellar sip yeah.
Chris:We need to name the other cocktails do, yeah, this is a burd hatton.
Siobhan:Well, didn't we?
Chris:what was the? Uh?
Siobhan:the one was was the pickle juice melon shot that was slimer's jizz okay I don't know if that was decided on. I don't know that it was either. That's what I'm pitching hard.
Matt:Okay, call it unacceptable, but that was yeah, Listen.
Josh:What about the one where we poured the milk in at the end?
Siobhan:Yep, that was the.
Josh:The one for me.
Siobhan:The lemon, milk, the lemon and milk and driver booth.
Josh:That was rough.
Chris:That one was.
Josh:The DNA sample I called it death.
Siobhan:It was kind of we wanted it to be lemon meringue-y. It was not.
Chris:Yeah, mm-hmm, the false, the false, key lime.
Siobhan:Lemon meringue, it was lemon.
Chris:Yeah, but it looked.
Siobhan:No, it didn't. Oh, we had said lemon cream pie.
Josh:Lemon cream pie. That's fine, let's do it. Lemon cream pie, lemon cream pie.
Siobhan:Take that for what it is yep and then good the first one was definitely poop water or something of the like, where with like what did age mutant ninja?
Matt:no yeah, you said escobar's pool water no, actually I said escobar's bath water was what I said, that one, yeah, these aren't good, but you know, you all come up with some fun names and send them our way.
Josh:I'm gonna eat this olive. We will this other drink that we just made, because I'm no bitch, if you want to suffer along with us.
Matt:We will publish all of the recipes for these so you can make them exactly like we did, and then you can judge whether or not we're wrong here or you enjoy some of these better than we do.
Chris:You're welcome for me staying just sober enough to document all of this.
Josh:Some of them are good enough to drink. Most of them are good enough to drink Most of them are not.
Matt:If you do that, scroll down to the episode description. Look for the text us link, click on that and send us a text message from your phone. Let us know what you think, especially Bert . Please do that.
Chris:Yes.
Matt:Yep.
Josh:We need you here, please.
Chris:And then we'll FaceTime you.
Matt:Yep, we're going to do this again at some point. We're going to ban vermouth.
Siobhan:Not today. Not today, we're going to ban vermouth. We might say no pickle juice, even though the pickle juice wasn't bad guys.
Josh:We have a fresh Clamato juice that we didn't even open, true, so we can hold that I'm fine with that it's shelf stable.
Matt:Your son is super stoked for that one, though.
Siobhan:He's going super stoked for that one, though he's gonna be so mad when I say we're not opening it, we're gonna hold this until the end of time, yeah because hopefully no one rolls it until that one happens on this show. It did, and then we re-rolled, but we're that's okay.
Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh:Another one, yeah, another one, so we will do this again. A lot of fun, it was it was.
Matt:I enjoyed this. Okay, I feel like part one was a lot of fun. Part two took a sudden turn. I had made the description earlier that we tried part two. We tried to parallel park the spaceship and just hit everything around us. It wasn't good.
Siobhan:That's pretty much what's up.
Matt:That Futurama spaceship crash was what came to mind. It was not good.
Siobhan:But we're here and we're alive. Thank you for listening.
Matt:Thank you all for listening, cheers, we'll see you next time.
Chris:This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios, please visit our website at unfpodcom for more information.
Matt:Today's boozy quote comes from author Ken Perreault, who said life is a crazy mixture of intoxicating cocktails. Would you like to suggest something for us to drink? Give us some feedback or have your brand featured on Matt and Friends Drink the Universe. We would love to hear from all of our listeners. Please check our episode descriptions down below for links to send us a text. Support the podcast and visit our merch store To keep up with our latest news or share your stellar sips with us. Please like and follow Matt and Friends DTU on Facebook, instagram X, tiktok Threads, blue Sky and Reddit. For more information about the podcast and links to all of our episodes, please visit wwwmattandfriendsdtucom. That's mattandfriendsdtucom. Cheers friends.
