Roll for Cocktail Part 2 "The Dice Taketh Away"

Chris, Josh, and Siobhan join Matt as fate takes control of the cocktail shaker in this hilarious second round of our drink-based Russian roulette. Armed with nothing but dice and questionable courage, Matt and friends submit themselves to the whims of chance as they roll for cocktail ingredients that no sane bartender would ever combine.

The dice show no mercy as rolls produce increasingly apocalyptic combinations: a shot mixing gin, pickle juice followed by a curdling science experiment and a unanimously reviled tequila martini with pickle juice.

Through grimaces and gags our brave drinkers uncover a fundamental truth about cocktail creation—balance is everything, and sweetness is crucial for making even the strangest combinations palatable. The episode delivers equal parts mixology disaster, chemistry lesson, and friendship test as participants down concoctions that would make even the most adventurous bartender blanch.

Text us your own random cocktail experiences or suggestions for the future —though after this episode, pickle juice might be permanently banned from the rotation.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe
• 4:12 Rolling for Cocktails
• 13:46 Tequila Pickle Juice Coke Martini
• 16:25 Third Cocktail: The Curdling Experiment
• 18:31 Vodka Lemon Juice Dry Vermouth Milk Shot
• 22:48 Gin Pickle Juice Milk Melon Juice Salted Rim Shot
• 23:05 Fourth Cocktail: Buffalo Trace Redemption
• 26:47 Berthattan
• 31:16 Rating and Naming the Concoctions
• 34:16 Booze Quote and Podcast Information

Transcript

Welcome to Matt and Friends Drink the Universe

Matt 1:01

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Josh 1:13

We have liftoff. Welcome to Matt and Friends. Drink the Universe. Drink the Universe.

Matt 1:29

Alright, welcome back to the Matt and friends drink the universe hunger games.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 1:31

If you missed the first episode, greetings. My friends. Gather round yon tavern table. We have no menu here. Nay, here fate depends on a roll of the dice. The combinations are endless. Actually, there are 2,880,000 possible combinations. Will the odds be in your favor, or will your Jaeger and Clamato juice be garnished with jalapeno? This quest is not for the timid and weak.

Matt 2:01

Prepare yourselves and weak, prepare yourselves. It's time to roll for cocktail. All right, and I have the same crew that, for whatever reason, decided to come back for part two, most likely because they were still in my house. And I said, let's do a second round.

Siobhan 2:17

And we really didn't get burned too bad, no. So so now we will.

Chris 2:21

Inevitability is about to catch up to us.

Siobhan 2:23

That's right, karma.

Matt 2:25

I'm not reading those cool intros again, so go around the table, introduce yourselves. My name is Josh, I'm Chris.

Siobhan 2:31

I'm Siobhan.

Matt 2:32

And we're going to roll for cocktails. We have the whole cocktail sheet here.

Chris 2:36

I wanted Siobhan to be like I'm drunk.

Siobhan 2:39

She's getting there. It's not wrong.

Matt 2:41

We are less sober than when we started the first episode.

Siobhan 2:44

I've organized our dice, I'm now praying Okay, I prayed for habanero.

Chris 2:47

I got my habanero on the first one. I'm now praying for a little Jaeger.

Josh 2:51

I think a Malort shot would be nice hey.

Siobhan 2:55

Have you tried the Malort? Were you part of it? Okay, he was the. Well, you were the second round.

Josh 3:05

I was second roll. I still don't hate it. It's almost gone. Am I the only one here that likes Jaeger?

Siobhan 3:07

Well, Jaeger sucks. I like Jaeger. Chris is good with Jaeger. I don't know if I care about Jaeger.

Rolling for Cocktails

Chris 3:10

That was my 21 and 22-year-old self right there. Oh yeah, Well, yeah.

Josh 3:14

Down at the hoe you know how many times Jaeger bombs for a dollar Down at the tally-ho.

Siobhan 3:19

Whatever the they were cheap. Shout out to maddie puke twice there it's probably chris's, yeah, well, no, no, his is at mcgrady's. Yeah, thank you. How many times?

Matt 3:29

I quoted the jaeger bombs jaeger bombs fucking jaeger bombs, yeah, so jen's been on this podcast before my first like this chick is really cool moment. We were at a party and I ordered a shot of jaeger and she was like I want one too. It was not a jaeger bomb, just a straight up shot of jaeger. And she was like I want one too.

Chris 3:45

It was not a Jaeger bomb, just a straight up shot of Jaeger and I was like that is balls right there.

Josh 3:47

All right, that's cool, all right. So you thought she was cool because she did a shot with you and then you married her and she was like I don't drink anymore, I'm out.

Siobhan 3:53

Yeah, more or less, she fooled the shit out of you Just kidding, so I'm going to roll first this time.

Matt 4:02

God help us all, and we're going to see what happens. Who has the sheet, by the way? Right behind you, matt. There you go. Nope, it's on my desk behind me. There we go. Drunk man, be drunken.

Chris 4:11

A ll right.

Josh 4:12

I still burped. Hit me up with a D6 to start for the style Matt.

Siobhan 4:17

Three.

Josh 4:29

Three is going to're loving the vodka all right of note, we took away the re-roll option.

Chris 4:36

There will be no re-rolls we are going to drink the cocktails that the dice tell us to drink double d20 I'm willing to re-roll this to get something more interesting, just for the record.

Siobhan 4:46

Start again. I'll do it. No, just for the vodka, just that roll.

Chris 4:48

I mean Replace the vodka. Yeah, Right after talking about not re-rolling An eight. Bourbon.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 4:54

All right, oh, I love it much better.

Josh 4:55

Ooh All right. Let's go Bour Now. I need two D20s please. Oh, I think one of those is cocked.

Siobhan 5:07

Yeah, this one Reroll that.

Josh 5:08

So we have a seven, which I'll tell you after.

Siobhan 5:11

A seven seven.

Josh 5:13

Double sevens, double cherry Kool-Aid.

Siobhan 5:16

Oh, and bourbon, All right, okay, okay.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 5:20

All right, okay, we've got ourselves sort of a. Manhattan, here All right. Y We've got ourselves sort of Manhattan here, all right, Yikes.

Josh 5:25

Now I need a D12 for the power up, the modifier, all right.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 5:31

Eight Eight is sweet vermouth again.

Siobhan 5:35

We are very Manhattan-y on this, okay, okay, but I think we should commit.

Josh 5:41

We're committed here. And then the D10, one last time for the garnish. They're literally organized Nine're committed here, and then the D10, one last time for the garnish. They're literally organized Nine A, nine Olives, ooh, uh-oh.

Matt 5:53

That took a turn.

Josh 5:56

No, honestly not bad. So a very classic Venetian spritz. A Venetian spritz is made with a bitter liqueur which is kind of similar to a sweet vermouth, and they do olives in there, rather than like an orange twist, which a lot of people do in an Aperol spritz. So the saltiness, with the sweet from the cherry and the sweet vermouth, I don't think is going to be bad. I think you've got a winner on your hands.

Matt 6:18

Will it be a Venetian spritz or the Venetian sewer? We'll find out shortly preemptively.

Chris 6:23

I think we need to send this cocktail recipe to Bert , who loves himself some cherry kool-aid. That's what I. I've watched that clip a lot of times.

Josh 6:32

Top 10 podcast moments right there so funny, Bert, where the two of them lose their mind laughing about how much kool-aid he drinks in a day so good I want the machine on this podcast.

Matt 6:43

Never gonna happen, but it's okay yeah I mean, if he was ever around he'd probably come on, just willing to react, to come on just him to react to like a tweet or an instagram post tagging him, I will be happy I feel like this is the podcast he should guest on, though true, this is Bert Kreischer, the one with, uh, the caleb presley, where they?

Josh 7:02

where he goes on the little monologue about how he likes having the first drink with somebody, or waking up and having mimosas or whatever. And Glennie Balls is like you, inspired me you got me fired up.

Matt 7:12

Fired up that's another one of my favorites. The man inspired me to go to the gym with one simple sentence I always wanted to be in shape enough that I can drink there, you go All right.

Chris 7:23

moving on, Siobhan.

Josh 7:25

Hit me with a D6 for the style of your cocktail, please. All right, that's a one. One is a shot, shot shot. All right. So we've got a shot, shot shot shot. And then I need a D10 for your base spirit.

Siobhan 7:42

It's a one.

Josh 7:43

Oh, boy, it's gin.

Siobhan 7:44

Okay, a gin shot a gin shot okay all, right now.

Josh 7:51

I need two d20s, please, for your mixer we got a four and a six I don't know that you're gonna love that great. We have four as pickle juice and six is milk all right.

Siobhan 8:05

I mean, here we are.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 8:06

This is our nightmare I think we all know how it was reached it here.

Chris 8:11

It is chaotic it's a shot, so it's a shot. How bad can it be?

Josh 8:16

listen, I mean bad only bad for one second right all right, I need your d12, please for your power-up modifier I, I'm gonna give this, this one to.

Matt 8:27

Siobhan on behalf of the dice.

Siobhan 8:28

Beer trail.

Matt 8:31

Oh we got a 10 for that modifier.

Josh 8:33

I don't know that this can get better. I mean, 10's supposed to be a good one, but this is melon schnapps.

Siobhan 8:39

Okay, yep, it's going to be really horrible, can't wait.

Josh 8:43

All right, gin, melon, schnapps, pickle juice and milk. We've been on the pickle juice Yikes. That has been one of ours. Okay, so a garnish D10, please, Okay.

Siobhan 8:54

A five.

Josh 8:55

A five, we get a salt rim on this. Okay, I mean maybe that'll help.

Siobhan 9:01

I'm scared.

Chris 9:02

Chris, read it back to us we have a shot of gin, pickle juice, milk, melon schnapps with the salt rim. Little salty surprise at the end there.

Josh 9:13

I'm pretty sure we're not gonna be surprised at how bad this is a salty creamy cocktail anyone's gonna make everybody do that.

Siobhan 9:21

It's me, it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me.

Josh 9:26

I think we have a contender for worst cocktail so far, so excited.

Matt 9:29

I already got a name for this one. I know what you're thinking and I don't like it.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 9:32

You have no idea what. I'm thinking, because I said salty and creamy?

Siobhan 9:35

You have no idea. Listen, get ready.

Josh 9:39

Okay, let's move on to Chris here. He's going to roll a D6 for us.

Siobhan 9:45

That's a 2.

Josh 9:46

Number 2. So this is going to be in a rocks glass, shaken and then served neat. What do we?

Matt 9:54

have A 9.

Josh 9:57

Vodka we're okay, so far 2 D20s please for your mixers 8 and 16. 8 is re-roll two more dice, and sixteen is club soda. So you have club soda and you gotta roll two more d20s, two more d20s, and we use both.

Chris 10:14

Yep, we use both.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 10:16

Oh, triple mixing, here we go.

Chris 10:20

Eleven and. I think, a crook Yep.

Josh 10:23

You're lucky, because it was almost a one. So, 11 is lemon juice and six is milk again, so I'm sorry, we said milk lemon juice.

Siobhan 10:37

Milk lemon juice and club, soda and club soda Good Lord. That would be a fizzy curdled milk.

Josh 10:42

So so far it is chilled and in a rocks glass. Vodka with milk, club soda and lemon juice. Wow, that's going to be gross.

Siobhan 10:54

This is the time.

Josh 10:56

Hit us with a D12, please for your modifier Five. We're going to add dry vermouth to this whole concoction. And now hit us with a D10 for the garnish Eight. Eight is mint of all things.

Chris 11:13

Wow, we're going gardening in. Matt's backyard. This is going to be wild.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 11:19

You're welcome.

Matt 11:20

I'm so scared I feel like the Matt and Friends spaceship was doing great and someone tried to parallel park between two asteroids.

Chris 11:26

We went Rick and Morty onto it.

Josh 11:28

We did not have the chaos in round one, but we have brought the chaos in round two.

Siobhan 11:33

I can't wait to see all the reactions, all right, Josh, you're up next.

Chris 11:38

Roll that D6.

Matt 11:40

Okay, here we go. Beautiful six footage. It wasn't Rick and Morty, it was Futurama.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 11:44

Six.

Josh 11:45

Choice. We haven't had a martini yet, so we're doing a martini All right.

Chris 11:49

Next is a D10 for base spirit. All right, base spirit is going to be what is that? A four, I can't read it. Yes, not because I'm drunk because, that dice has terrible farts A four, that's tequila.

Josh 12:05

Okay, we haven't had a tequila drink yet.

Siobhan 12:07

Yikes, almost like Chris wrote, we've got a tequila, martini, so far.

Chris 12:09

Chris wrote the numbers on that dice. Now, what do I need? Two D20s D20s for your mixer four and 17 pickle juice and coke, oh, not the white kind in the martini, uh, okay not the white kind listen d12 coming up next for your power.

Siobhan 12:28

I might need some of the white kind to get through all this cocktails with the white client around here, all right roll that d12 for a power up, a d12 12 triple sec.

Tequila Pickle Juice Coke Martini

Matt 12:41

Okay, triple sec all right triple second tequila we're almost in margarita, minus the coke that we're in here and the fact that it's a martini last up is your garnish you can have a you can have a

Josh 12:51

margarita up a nerd 10, here we go, nine, we got pickle and olive.

Siobhan 12:59

yeah, yeah, yeah I think this one works, so we've got pickle, we've got olive.

Josh 13:02

What else do we?

Siobhan 13:03

have here? We've got a martini with tequila, pickle juice, coke, a cola triple sec and olive. We should have put that as cola not coke. We were so close. That's what I feel like I'm going to name this. This is going to be like we were almost there. We were almost there. We were almost there, yeah we're having a martini with some cocaine.

Chris 13:24

Which one are we doing first? Are we doing Matt's?

Siobhan 13:25

first God. They're all bad Because it's a shot right, His was a shot?

Josh 13:28

Yeah, none of them are frozen so it's not going to take any longer.

Chris 13:31

We can just do them, do them around the clock.

Josh 13:32

Yeah, around the clock.

Chris 13:33

All right, let's go.

Josh 13:51

All right, poop water is up on the menu.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 13:52

This looks like a kidney stone.

Siobhan 13:53

So quick story where's rob?

Josh 13:56

oh, he has kidney stones, that's quick story about the martini glasses.

Matt 14:00

j Jen hates when I bring home random crap for the house and they had a big yard sale and I just love to go and walk around the yard sale and find random shit and I went up to my neighbor's house and they had this set of martini glasses which are rather nice martini glasses.

Josh 14:13

Cheers Four bucks Very nice.

Siobhan 14:16

Nice.

Matt 14:17

And I came home with like this big box. The box was way oversized for having four martini glasses and Jen was like what the hell did you buy?

Josh 14:24

How does she feel about the eight snare drums?

Siobhan 14:26

in your garage. Those were also $4.

Matt 14:29

Actually, they were all free. I didn't pay a dollar for any of them.

Siobhan 14:32

I also feel like we are absolutely doing $4 martini glasses justice with the will that we have now added to this glass.

Matt 14:40

All right, shall we sip Pablo Escobar's bathwater here.

Josh 14:44

Cheers it up. All right, listen, we didn't even tell them what we have here, right Recap. So we have tequila, what is it? One part tequila oh you sipped it, I did. What did I do? One part half oh you sipped it, I did. What did I do? One part, half part, half part Is that what I said?

Siobhan 15:03

Yes, I think so.

Josh 15:05

My ears are burning.

Chris 15:07

It was one part tequila, three quarter part pickle, three quarter part triple sec. Splashed a little Coke on top, threw an olive in there.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 15:17

We're about to die.

Siobhan 15:19

It doesn't look good. Matt said his ears hurt.

Josh 15:21

It looks like we scooped it out of the sewer, so hey, cheers to that.

Third Cocktail: The Curdling Experiment

Siobhan 15:24

We're real close to Jersey. Let's do this. What a fancy martini we have here. Oh yeah.

Josh 15:31

Oh boy, oh, that's bad.

Siobhan 15:33

Oh my God, you guys Holy cow.

Chris 15:39

It could honestly be worse.

Josh 15:41

Yeah, we're about to get worse.

Siobhan 15:43

But it's pretty bad. Would you add milk to make it worse? The brine of it is just.

Josh 15:50

Don't forget to get your olive out and give that a taste.

Chris 15:52

That is. I don't know if I can do that. I'm going to take one more sip for posterity Ouchie.

Siobhan 16:03

Oh, let's rate this. I'm going to give this a negative 25.

Josh 16:07

It's really bad Listen once you get the poop water off the olive, the olive just tastes like an olive Great.

Matt 16:14

I'm just saying Since this is a scale from 1 to 10, 1.

Chris 16:19

Oh yeah, I'll also give it the 1.

Josh 16:21

No, no, no, you have to leave room for the milk cocktails that are coming up.

Chris 16:26

You can also give them a 1.

Siobhan 16:28

You think they're going to be worse. They're going to curdle.

Josh 16:31

There has to be room for something worse.

Chris 16:33

And lemon juice is definitely getting a 0.

Siobhan 16:35

The other one has also pickle juice.

Chris 16:39

Yeah, it's going to be a bad day I don't see them being as good as this.

Josh 16:44

And I use the word good with like the word. I use the word good, but I mean bad, yeah, but they're going to be worse, yep.

Siobhan 16:53

I still. I got one and a half.

Josh 16:56

I'm giving it a two, one and a half. I'm giving it a two because I got to leave room in the basement.

Chris 17:03

That's how I think of that cocktail.

Josh 17:04

I'm going to drink it anyway, because why not? Good, I'll tell you a lot of reasons yeah, I got many Me vomiting.

Matt 17:11

I've tasted things like that before, but it's normally. You just fucking slammed it too.

Chris 17:16

That was bad, really really bad, and none of you even ate your olives.

Josh 17:19

Bunch of sissies, yeah.

Siobhan 17:20

I don't care, I'm going to say this. You can call me that all day.

Chris 17:23

They are the largest olives I've ever seen in my life.

Siobhan 17:25

I'm not eating that, oh no, that's an olive.

Vodka Lemon Juice Dry Vermouth Milk Shot

Matt 17:27

Big olives, and I cannot lie. I'm going to say one thing before we adjourn, and that's I've tasted that before and drinking yeah right, no, listen what comes back out don't have to be done with this segment.

Josh 17:40

I we made everybody eat some of the beef jerky. I feel like the three of you need to take a bite of these olives this guy over here, you don't have to eat the whole thing, but you gotta get an olives you know my fingers feel defiled trying to.

Matt 17:52

Otherwise, what are we doing?

Siobhan 17:53

here you know oh no it's gross, just like I thought.

Josh 17:59

I don't know Fuck you, you ate the whole thing, Matt. Why are you making that?

Siobhan 18:02

face. All I did was a bite. It's not that bad, it's just.

Josh 18:05

Brian Ew dude.

Siobhan 18:07

Back into the martini. Why, bro, we have napkins.

Josh 18:11

We have paper towels.

Siobhan 18:12

We have other ways to do things.

Josh 18:14

Oh, yes, sorry about that. And that's why I made you do it All, right, well.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 18:19

Yeah.

Josh 18:20

Yuck, all right.

Matt 18:33

I have two glasses now, and smelling them separately does not help.

Josh 18:38

Siobhan said this best it looks like bong water.

Matt 18:40

I think that's accurate.

Josh 18:41

I don't know, I mean come on.

Matt 18:44

Doesn't look burnt. It smells like mint. That's true Mint so far. What's in the glass looks?

Josh 18:49

nice.

Siobhan 18:49

Yes, I would drink. I feel like maybe I want to try it. I guess maybe that's not allowed.

Chris 18:53

For a recap here. Thank you. We've got in a rocks glass. That's plastic. We got one part vodka, one part lemon juice, half part dry vermouth. We have a little topping of club, and then what we did was we put a little milk and by milk we mean lactate-free milk in a shot glass.

Josh 19:15

Oh, there's mint in it.

Siobhan 19:17

And mint yeah.

Josh 19:18

I shook the vodka, the vodka, the lemon juice, the mint together. Uh, then I topped it with club. So I strained that out into the rocks last and topped it with club and everybody has a little shot glass with milk in here that they're gonna pour in and then drink, because I didn't want to put the milk in before I shook it because I felt like I would have got cottage cheese.

Siobhan 19:39

Oh, God no.

Josh 19:42

So we're just going to make cottage cheese in our bellies. It's going to be like Bill Nye, the Science Guy, get ready, hey, cheers to everybody.

Siobhan 19:51

I don't know. No, it's going to be great. You're going to love it. We're in the whole thing. Wait, isn't there soda in here too?

Josh 19:56

Yeah, club soda right.

Siobhan 19:58

Oh, it looks so bad, that's not bad.

Chris 20:02

It's not good, the mint saves it.

Siobhan 20:06

Honestly, this doesn't bother me at all.

Chris 20:08

I took two big chugs and I'm done. It is the lemon and the mint.

Matt 20:13

Oh, it is hardcore curdling in that glass as I'm watching, yeah starting to look a little, but it doesn't taste terrible.

Siobhan 20:22

It definitely doesn't taste terrible.

Matt 20:23

It doesn't taste like much.

Siobhan 20:25

It tastes like mint.

Matt 20:26

Oh for sure, though Mostly mint, it doesn't look great.

Siobhan 20:28

No, it's not cute.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 20:30

That's uh yeah.

Josh 20:34

Yeah, it's like a science experiment. Sure Not as bad as the last one. Thank you, Josh.

Siobhan 20:42

I definitely think this is an improvement, even though I don't want more of this.

Chris 20:46

This is like a four, three and a half Wow.

Siobhan 20:50

I would go with a three at the most for me the lemon and the mint are refreshing.

Chris 20:54

I'm not about to continue to drink this.

Josh 20:57

What would it be like if it had real milk in it?

Chris 21:00

So we have lactate milk because that's what they drink here in the Welser house. We don't have the scientist in the house we need.

Siobhan 21:05

Rob for that. I know Science. Where is he?

Matt 21:08

I did just send him a text picture of what that looks.

Josh 21:11

like that picture looks suspicious, horrific Good lord.

Siobhan 21:17

My goodness, I know, we try Reproductive.

Chris 21:20

Sciences Officially an 18 plus episode.

Josh 21:24

Listen, I'll tell you what this is what it looks like we make our own ricotta cheese at home. This is what it looks like Just saying yeah, another hour.

Siobhan 21:32

I will not make the comment that I was going to make. Go ahead.

Chris 21:35

No.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 21:35

I will not make the comment that I was going to make. Go ahead. No, I'll say it off the air this is an 18 and older.

Chris 21:38

No, I'll say it off the air.

Siobhan 21:40

But this is not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Chris 21:44

Zoinks, that's what she said we survived though.

Matt 21:48

Okay, and we have two left. I believe I'm drinking it, I do.

Siobhan 21:51

Did we all rate?

Chris 21:52

this rate this, oh uh three, three, three, three is fair. You said four, I said four. Look out again four. Wow, I mean, before it starts curdling, it's pretty delightful.

Fourth Cocktail: Buffalo Trace Redemption

Josh 22:03

This is hard to curdle in two seconds, so without the club soda, if you let this sit overnight and then tomorrow you strained it out yeah, this would be a milk punch, exactly like the, the, the acid would congeal with the milk and it would clarify the whole thing and you have a clarified cocktail with vodka and lemon and mint, and it wouldn't be bad right, so, um so, but right now it's not great. Yeah, it's not a drink you want to drink now?

Matt 22:29

no, but we lived we're still here, folks, we we're still here.

Chris 22:35

We made it well, let still here. We made it. Well, let's see where. More to go On to the next. All right, we're going quick here because we have Aliens, yep, gin, pickle juice, milk, melon schnapps and a salt rim. This looks like Yep. Shamrock shake Slimer's jizz.

Siobhan 23:05

Okay, good God. I can't share this with anyone.

Matt 23:08

Quote an old friend of mine Jesus fuck almighty.

Josh 23:11

Indeed, do the whole shot. Don't be a bitch here we go.

Chris 23:13

I don't know if I Do the whole shot. Don't be a bitch. Here we go All down the hatch Clinkers.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 23:17

Godspeed.

Chris 23:19

Godspeed ain't gonna help us here, it didn't clink at all.

Siobhan 23:23

The pickle man it's all pickle. I didn't even ask for a lot. It's so salty.

Josh 23:29

Oh my god, it's so salty.

Chris 23:32

The salt remains you at the end, oh yeah.

Siobhan 23:40

I mean, I'll be honest, it's not the worst thing I put in my mouth.

Chris 23:44

It's the worst thing.

Siobhan 23:46

I don't think it's as bad as the first. The first one was much worse than this. Disagree, but this is a shot and it's over. You sipped it again. I just saw you do it. I wanted to finish it.

Josh 23:58

I gotta finish it.

Siobhan 23:59

Why, yo, the salt is like a real.

Chris 24:01

You got a little jizz left in there. The salt, there you go.

Josh 24:04

This was like if you are in the ocean and you come up to take a breath and the wave hits you in the face and you accidentally just swallow the wave, but you're in the Long Island Sound which is not real. Ocean, which is where.

Siobhan 24:18

I grew up, so it's an honor.

Josh 24:19

No, it's not. Yeah, one Wow.

Chris 24:25

I don't know Four.

Josh 24:25

I like salty food.

Chris 24:27

That's a two. That's a two.

Josh 24:29

Four.

Siobhan 24:29

Four.

Josh 24:30

Suck it. Oh my that is wild.

Siobhan 24:32

I would do another one of those shots, Salty pickly. You would do another one of Jersey Shore over here I would do another one of these shots before I attempt to drink another sip of that poop water from earlier. I would agree with that, chris looked like he was going to be deceased when he ate that olive, that's just because, he doesn't like olives.

Josh 24:55

No, no, no.

Siobhan 24:56

It's because it was an olive in poop water, and so no, I am for I will say I would do another shot of this.

Matt 25:03

However, I gave it a two because the poop water is never happening again that's okay, this won't happen again, either you, guys are smart this sucked all right.

Josh 25:12

See, this is a good prank shot, it's almost like oh my god it looked okay.

Chris 25:16

okay, you can tell somebody it's sugar.

Josh 25:19

Call it a key lime pie and hand it to somebody and watch them just puke. Oh, my goodness.

Matt 25:26

If you want somebody turning 21 to never drink again. Give them that.

Josh 25:30

I think the overwhelming theme so far has been there's a lack of sugar in any of these drinks.

Chris 25:37

That we made there's nothing sweet and the one that did have sugar, my, my sugar ridden one from the first episode top contender and that helped.

Berthattan

Josh 25:45

Yeah, well, it didn't have sugar in the drink, yeah, but absinthe is sweet, right, and like you need some sweetness to balance a lot of the stuff out, and half of these more than half of these cocktails we've gotten have nothing sweet in them and there's nothing to balance all of the other shitty flavors.

Siobhan 26:00

Well, the pickle man, it's just the pickle is just every.

Chris 26:04

It overtakes a cocktail so easily and I said I was like make it the least we can, with it still being there. But it still is. Yeah we've had too much pickle across both of these episodes.

Siobhan 26:18

I still think it's better than some of it, but that's all right. Yeah, we'll swap out the pickle juice. What will we put in, man?

Chris 26:23

We'll have Rob be in the next episode and Clamato juice will be three options and I won't be here.

Siobhan 26:29

There you go, peace out. All right, last one Perfect.

Josh 26:33

Get ready here we go. This last one can't be bad, nope.

Matt 26:48

And I'm holding Kool-Aid bourbon and there's an anus of an olive staring at me.

Siobhan 26:53

So what does that even mean?

Josh 26:57

Okay, you have to take it there, matt See, it's not me the amount of stuff he just cut out of this episode before this.

Siobhan 27:02

It is everyone. Just imagine An anus of amount of what he cut out of this episode. Apparently that's a measurement we're using. Josh, what did you do here? What is?

Matt 27:11

in this nightmare right now. You rolled it.

Siobhan 27:17

I'm nightmare right now. You rolled it. I I'm aware. Go ahead, tell us, matt. I don't have the. Somebody else wrote it down. Matt's not in charge?

Josh 27:20

no, I'm not. This is buffalo trace, bourbon. God bless buffalo trace for giving us the beautiful whiskey, that we're doing what we did to we are just fully ruining it. Oh man, so it's buffalo trace bourbon, a little bit of Kool-Aid powder.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 27:37

A little. I didn't measure, I just put it in with a spoon.

Josh 27:39

It was not a little bit, you know.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 27:41

Yeah, it was a considerable amount Cherry Kool-Aid powder.

Josh 27:44

You're going to love it. Stop. We rolled cherry Kool-Aid twice, so it has to be double cherry.

Siobhan 27:50

Kool-Aid.

Chris 27:52

Woo, I just sniffed it.

Siobhan 27:53

That's the thing.

Chris 27:55

I'm getting high on life right now.

Josh 27:57

I bet you are A little bit of sweet vermouth, an olive to garnish and a cherry Kool-Aid powder rim. You're going to love it.

Siobhan 28:08

I think it's going to be probably 10 out of 10. This is how you guys know that Josh is in sales. Click it up, click it up. That's why.

Josh 28:12

Click it up. Oh, man Every college kid ever will love this Bad choices.

Siobhan 28:18

Oh man, Just get a little lick of that this is not bad, you guys, okay oh.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 28:27

Okay.

Siobhan 28:28

Okay, told you. Yep, I was not worried to be fair, except for the olive.

Chris 28:33

Oh, this may have subjugated my absinthe drink from episode one you think Well, do you want to know why? Also, we had three horrific cocktails. This episode, this is the sweet to your absinthe sort of refreshing, I'm telling you.

Siobhan 28:47

It balances, it's all the balance, the.

Josh 28:48

Kool-Aid balances everything else in there.

Siobhan 28:51

This is what we wanted.

Josh 28:57

I think the olive wasn't there.

Chris 28:58

I don't even taste it.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 28:58

You don't taste it, Matt you don't even taste it, Matt.

Siobhan 28:59

What are you?

Matt 29:00

lying, I can smell it.

Siobhan 29:01

Eat it, do it, do it, do it.

Josh 29:06

This is your podcast. If you want it to grow, you need to eat the olive.

Matt 29:10

There's no way I'm eating that olive.

Siobhan 29:11

I'm telling you yeah, this, I would drink this again 100%.

Chris 29:17

I feel like mine lacks Kool-Aid. Does the rim make it? You feel like Deere's lacks.

Josh 29:21

Kool-Aid. It's good. It has the same amount I shook it all together.

Siobhan 29:24

It's good, this is what I want.

Chris 29:26

This is what we should have put on the Habanero Mezcal rim.

Siobhan 29:30

Oh yeah, right here, because this Not sweet, love it. Yeah yeah. So there you go, everybody. Kool-aid, kool-aid powder on the rim I said plum salt, but I'm stupid you should just use-.

Josh 29:40

Wait, I thought you said plum sugar.

Siobhan 29:41

Oh, maybe is that what I said. Yeah, sure, I said plum sugar probably, but it's Kool-Aid.

Matt 29:48

You should just get Kool-Aid Love it want to rate it this seven seven, eight out of ten, for me, eight I'm going seven.

Chris 29:57

You said it subjugated your um.

Josh 29:59

What did I give that?

Chris 30:00

uh more than hell, if anybody knows, you gave it more than also the. We said from the beginning that these are relative to the other cocktails we have in the, but that's my point.

Siobhan 30:09

So if it's subjugated, no, but this is part two, absent one.

Rating and Naming the Concoctions

Josh 30:12

This is part two yeah, but you still have to rate it off of the other things we did in the series. Well, if this is rated off of the other three things.

Siobhan 30:18

We had this episode. This is a 47. Because, those were horrible. Top, top, top.

Josh 30:25

But out of the eight we had in these two-part series this is top two right.

Siobhan 30:31

This is definitely top two.

Chris 30:32

for me, this is equal, if not slightly better than the.

Siobhan 30:34

Absinthe. I think this is better than the Absinthe for me, for sure.

Matt 30:37

Call this one the Buffalo Hug.

Chris 30:40

Not good enough.

Siobhan 30:41

No, no, we need like what did we say? Bert Hatton, oh, the Bert Hatton. Yes, this is for Bert Hatton, this is for you.

Josh 30:49

We made a Manhattan with cherry Kool-Aid powder on the rim and in the cocktail. Come have one with us.

Siobhan 30:56

Bert Hatton.

Josh 30:57

Bert.

Matt 30:58

Hatton, Bert Hatton, so Bert , named after you. Sir, we'd love for you to try one. Come on this podcast with us, take a sip, see what you think. Oh yeah, stellar sip yeah.

Chris 31:23

We need to name the other cocktails do, yeah, this is a burd hatton.

Siobhan 31:24

Well, didn't we?

Chris 31:24

what was the? Uh?

Siobhan 31:25

the one was was the pickle juice melon shot that was slimer's jizz okay I don't know if that was decided on. I don't know that it was either. That's what I'm pitching hard.

Matt 31:35

Okay, call it unacceptable, but that was yeah, Listen.

Josh 31:40

What about the one where we poured the milk in at the end?

Siobhan 31:44

Yep, that was the.

Josh 31:45

The one for me.

Siobhan 31:46

The lemon, milk, the lemon and milk and driver booth.

Josh 31:48

That was rough.

Chris 31:49

That one was.

Josh 31:50

The DNA sample I called it death.

Siobhan 31:53

It was kind of we wanted it to be lemon meringue-y. It was not.

Chris 31:56

Yeah, mm-hmm, the false, the false, key lime.

Siobhan 32:01

Lemon meringue, it was lemon.

Chris 32:04

Yeah, but it looked.

Siobhan 32:05

No, it didn't. Oh, we had said lemon cream pie.

Josh 32:08

Lemon cream pie. That's fine, let's do it. Lemon cream pie, lemon cream pie.

Siobhan 32:13

Take that for what it is yep and then good the first one was definitely poop water or something of the like, where with like what did age mutant ninja?

Matt 32:22

no yeah, you said escobar's pool water no, actually I said escobar's bath water was what I said, that one, yeah, these aren't good, but you know, you all come up with some fun names and send them our way.

Josh 32:33

I'm gonna eat this olive. We will this other drink that we just made, because I'm no bitch, if you want to suffer along with us.

Matt 32:40

We will publish all of the recipes for these so you can make them exactly like we did, and then you can judge whether or not we're wrong here or you enjoy some of these better than we do.

Chris 32:50

You're welcome for me staying just sober enough to document all of this.

Josh 32:54

Some of them are good enough to drink. Most of them are good enough to drink Most of them are not.

Matt 33:00

If you do that, scroll down to the episode description. Look for the text us link, click on that and send us a text message from your phone. Let us know what you think, especially Bert . Please do that.

Chris 33:08

Yes.

Matt 33:08

Yep.

Josh 33:09

We need you here, please.

Chris 33:10

And then we'll FaceTime you.

Booze Quote and Podcast Information

Matt 33:12

Yep, we're going to do this again at some point. We're going to ban vermouth.

Siobhan 33:16

Not today. Not today, we're going to ban vermouth. We might say no pickle juice, even though the pickle juice wasn't bad guys.

Josh 33:24

We have a fresh Clamato juice that we didn't even open, true, so we can hold that I'm fine with that it's shelf stable.

Matt 33:31

Your son is super stoked for that one, though.

Siobhan 33:42

He's going super stoked for that one, though he's gonna be so mad when I say we're not opening it, we're gonna hold this until the end of time, yeah because hopefully no one rolls it until that one happens on this show. It did, and then we re-rolled, but we're that's okay.

Confused Transcript/Goblin Matt/Chris/Josh 33:48

Another one, yeah, another one, so we will do this again. A lot of fun, it was it was.

Matt 33:53

I enjoyed this. Okay, I feel like part one was a lot of fun. Part two took a sudden turn. I had made the description earlier that we tried part two. We tried to parallel park the spaceship and just hit everything around us. It wasn't good.

Siobhan 34:05

That's pretty much what's up.

Matt 34:06

That Futurama spaceship crash was what came to mind. It was not good.

Siobhan 34:10

But we're here and we're alive. Thank you for listening.

Matt 34:13

Thank you all for listening, cheers, we'll see you next time.

Chris 34:16

This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios. If you would like to know more about joining Unfiltered Studios, please visit our website at unfpodcom for more information.

Matt 34:27

Today's boozy quote comes from author Ken Perreault, who said life is a crazy mixture of intoxicating cocktails. Would you like to suggest something for us to drink? Give us some feedback or have your brand featured on Matt and Friends Drink the Universe. We would love to hear from all of our listeners. Please check our episode descriptions down below for links to send us a text. Support the podcast and visit our merch store To keep up with our latest news or share your stellar sips with us. Please like and follow Matt and Friends DTU on Facebook, instagram X, tiktok Threads, blue Sky and Reddit. For more information about the podcast and links to all of our episodes, please visit wwwmattandfriendsdtucom. That's mattandfriendsdtucom. Cheers friends.