How Military Brotherhood, Hard Lessons, And Faith Built A Second Life

In this episode of Charlie Mike The Podcast, we sit down with Ryan, an 11B Infantryman who served with the 10th Mountain Division and deployed to Kosovo, Iraq, and Afghanistan. After years of living at the speed of war, Ryan faced a different kind of battle when he came home—one that nearly cost lives and forced him to confront addiction, accountability, and the long road to sobriety.

Now approaching ten years sober, Ryan shares his journey of rebuilding his life, rediscovering faith, and finding purpose again through service, community leadership, and a new mission in cybersecurity helping fight child exploitation.

This conversation is about brotherhood, redemption, and the truth that Charlie Mike—continue the mission—isn’t just a radio call. It’s a way of life.

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Transcript

Introduction & Ryan's Background

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Next is Charlie Mike, the podcast. Veterans Helping Veterans, talking about things happening in the veteran community, things we've experienced and overcome, such as addictions, PTSD, depression, legal trouble. And we also promote veteran-owned businesses. If you're talking about it, we're talking about it. This is Charlie Mike the Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Yo, welcome back to another episode of Charlie Mike the Podcast. As always, I'm your host, Ro. Today I have a special guest by the name of Ryan. Ryan, we have a very close mutual friend who connected us so we could learn a little bit about each other. Ryan, tell me a little bit about yourself. Tell me about this this due early childhood. Where are you from originally?

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Born in a little town called Belleville. I don't know if you know where that is. Texas. Yeah, yeah. Opened by Brenham. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

We had a did we do? No, we did uh dove hunting in Brynham. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Gotcha. And then raised in Galveston.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

In Galveston.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

And uh yeah, went to graduated from there, everything, and then got bored with college. I tried college for about half a semester and went to the recruiter's office.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

And that was it. Yeah. Around what time was that?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Oh god, November 98. 98. Yeah. Yeah, man. Long time ago. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

So what what did you was it ever in the in the thought? Was it ever something which?

SPEAKER_01 1:29

I mean when I was a kid, I was like, man, I'd love to do, you know, go be in the military, do something, you know, something more than what I, you know, most people do. And I just they I was trying to get college credits, did AP classes in high school, so I thought I was good. And then you're smart. I was okay. You don't lose. No, I got hit in the head a couple times. Oh, yeah, bad. But they wouldn't accept my AP credits. So I was like, man, I ain't doing this all over again. So the college wouldn't accept the college wouldn't accept the AP credits. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And it was a junior college too, so it was like you're all stupid.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Yeah. Okay. So you just like, okay, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this military thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

I went to went to the well, Air Force and then Army Recruiter. Air Force, I was a little heavy, you know. Um and Air Force was like, no, we ain't doing this.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

And then Well what were you sitting at?

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Oh god, 230, 240.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Oh, you were little on the bigger side.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

But you're a tall guy though. Yeah, yeah. But I was they were only allowing me like 200. Okay. Shit. But Army gave me a waiver and all that, so I was able to go through the army and so you went through you went through basic training and everything in 98? 98, 99, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

So where where was your first duty station at? Fort Drum in New York. Fort Drum, New York? Yeah. Jesus. Did you get there during the winter or summer?

SPEAKER_01 2:42

I got there in March. Yeah. But or May. No, I got there in May, and it might as well have been. I mean, there was still like snow flurries and all that going on.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

That's craziness.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Uh they had Fort Drum had just come off of a uh a a bad winter freeze and it destroyed a lot of the building, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

So and that was actually one that I never wanted on my list. Yeah, I was actually grateful that I didn't get it.

Military Service & 9/11

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Oh, the weather was terrible. The units were amazing. Were they? Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Yeah, real real army type shit.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Oh, yeah, real yeah, 10 mountains where it's at.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Yeah, that's uh I've heard good things. Yeah. So 99 first you a fort drum, man. Let's let's talk a little bit about two 9-11. Okay, so where were you 9-11?

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Let's let's so I was at JRTC actually. We were doing we were training for a deployment to Kosovo in Louisiana, yeah. We were in the middle of our our force on force and they came out. The OCs came out. Pause, you know, hey, two planes hit the twin towers in in New York. If you have family in from New York City, you get to come with us, and then everybody else game on. I mean, back to training. Yeah. We didn't really see any of the footage until about two weeks after. Oh, no accidents, none. Yeah, we were out in the field, so it was whatever.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

Man, do y'all saw y'all's thoughts and minds m must have been like just racing?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Well, we we didn't know if it was part of the training sim or what. Oh, yeah, it could have been a scenario, yeah. Gotcha. And we were just like, man, what's going on? And then we get out, and even at like the cop that you know, when we rotated out, they had the there, and all it was on loop was the the planes hitting.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

That's crazy. And at that moment, did y'all hear whispers of deployments and all that?

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Oh yeah, oh yeah. I mean, we were already slated to go to Eastern Europe. So we we did that first. But one of my sister units in my battalion was or my brigade was part of Anaconda, all that good stuff. Oh yeah.

Deployment Experiences

SPEAKER_02 4:37

Okay, yeah. My my my I missed that deployment, but I came in when they were coming back. So we had six months on ground and then we went back overseas. So yeah, man, what did you was it everything you thought?

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Which part?

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Well, let's talk about the military in general. Oh, in general, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

The bonds were more than I can ever yeah. I mean, it's hard to describe to people who haven't experienced it.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

That's that's true, man. And that's that's one thing, you know, to this day. I I get off the phone with my my my battles, man, my buddies, and just like, man, I love you, man. Just you know, because it's just like we haven't spoken in years, but when we do speak or do when we do see each other, it's like nothing ever skipped a beat.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah, we have a uh a group text with some of the core guys that we we were with in in drum. And uh yeah, I don't but I mean I was in drum and then I was at 4 ID and Hood and then Carson.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

Yeah, oh you were at Hood too.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Yeah, I was part of that unit move thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Uh-huh. Oh, when they came from uh from from Hood to Carson.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. But I'm I'm a lot tighter with the guys from 10th Mountain than I am from the Did you deploy with 10th Mountain? Kosovo, Iraq, then Afghanistan.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Yeah, oh you went, you got them all.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah, I did, I did the the big ones twice seat.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Yeah?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

Jesus Christ. And how many years did you serve?

SPEAKER_01 5:53

From nine November 98 to August 2012.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

2012. Oh man, you got some years in there. Yeah. So what you uh retired, disability?

SPEAKER_01 6:02

No, I got fat boyed out.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

No, after all that?

Getting Discharged

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Are you serious? Yeah, I was a troublemaker though.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

I mean what was your rank when you got out?

SPEAKER_01 6:10

Sergeant, E5.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Yeah. Oh man, I was E5 and E6 twice.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

I was an E5 twice, yeah. I drank way too much. Yeah. And drove. So oh yeah. Yeah, so I got in a lot of trouble.

Fort Drum vs Other Bases

SPEAKER_02 6:21

Yeah, that'll get you. What would out of your deployments? I don't know, not out of your deployments, out of your duty stations, what what's one that you would go back to real quick?

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Oh, drum, any day of the week.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Over Carson?

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Over Carson.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

What?

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Carson's beautiful, don't get me wrong, but the the units were work killed.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

They they were crap.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

And I mean, drum is really outdoorsy too. Uh there's a lot of hunting and camping and you know, all that good stuff out there.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

Yeah, man, and one thing I loved about Carson was that you could go whitewater rafting and snowboarding in the same day. Oh, yeah, and then they hit the bar later. Yeah, it was all right there.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Yeah, it was all all compacted right there.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Yeah, that was that was definitely one of my favorites. I I did my first duty station was Fort Stewart. Okay. I was at Fort Stewart, deployed with them twice, and then I went to Fort Carson. I was at Fort Carson, went to Fort What is it? El Paso? Fort Bliss. Fort Damn, I couldn't even remember Fort Bliss, and I was at Fort Bliss, and then I went, I got out at Fort Hood.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Oh, I gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 7:23

So when I was at at Carson, they said, Hey, you're a Texas boy, and I said, Yeah, you want to go back to Texas? Yeah, let's go back. I want to go back. I'm thinking Fort Hood all day. They sent me to Bliss. I'm like, man, this is Mexico, this in Texas. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Well, and even like Fort Polk is closer than Fort Hood is.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

So that drive is it's insane. Actually, it's still longer. It was still longer for me to drive from El Paso to Houston than it was from Carson to Houston. Yeah. Yeah. Which did it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah, nobody understood that. No, I didn't understand it. And I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Yeah. So, man, out of out of all your military, you you spent so much time in there. I'm I'm guessing it it it raised you from a man. Yeah, from a boy to a man.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

I mean, so growing up, man, my dad died when I was really young. And so really not a whole lot of you mind me asking how? He was in a car accident.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

When I was two years old.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

And not a whole lot of positive male influence in my life.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

I joined the military and I found like that that male camaraderie, that family. You know, that I mean, I had my mom, my brother, you know, my sister, all that good stuff. It just, you know. Are you are you the oldest in the family? I'm the middle. My older brother is, I guess you would call him level three autistic. So he's on the extreme side of autism. So yeah, you know, I'm basically the oldest.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

So you have to you have to care for him 24-7.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

I yeah, I help I help my mom now with that.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

How how is that? I know that's gotta be a lot on your plate.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

It's not bad because my parents are still, my mom and my stepdad, they're still young enough to do it now. So I only help when they need help. Yeah. But I will be the primary here in the future when they can't do it.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

How is so you were telling me about your daughter a little bit? So man, how does it dude? It's crazy to think that we have 20, 20 year olds. Like I have my daughter Faith is 21. Golly. My daughter Layla and Aubrey, they're both 14, and then our little Charlie is 15, 16 months. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

So is she already a year? Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Yeah, it's sporadic. The the growth, I mean, the timelines. You do you only have one?

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I only have the one, yeah. Okay. It's crazy. Like she's the age I was when she was born now. So it's like and she graduates college this May. And that's that's crazy too for me. I'm awesome. I'm proud of her. I always give her a hard time because that's what dads do. Oh, of course. She's a little sensitive because that's what the young kids are these days.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

But yeah, we uh we have a pretty strong relationship, I think.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

That's good, man. Did she uh so her growing up, she kind of saw all versions of you, huh?

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Not really. Her mom and I split up when she was real young. So we realized that it wasn't working when she was six months old.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Sometimes it's it's the best.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Yeah, and she stayed with her mom most of the time. Obviously, I was still in the army, and and I was in Tenth Mountain. We were the highest appointing division in the army, so every other year I was gone. Yeah. And I would come home, visit with her, you know, when I was stateside, we would get her one week for spring break, one week for Christmas, and then most of the summer. Yeah. So she's she's seen it. She doesn't really rem she acts like she, well, she tells me she doesn't remember it. I don't know if she does or not, but she says she doesn't really remember the that transitional part of it.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Would uh you know, with with being away from the military, that was your first time being away from the family in general. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How did how did they take how did you take that, especially being away from your your brother and your sister?

SPEAKER_01 10:51

I I did better than my family did, I think. I I adjusted a little better. I think I needed that that little bit of freedom to grow. I I mess with my mom now. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna, you know, this war's kicking off again. It's time for me to pick it back up and tell you your cross. Oh, yeah, she yells at me.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Sit down, old man. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah, but uh oh goodness. One time when I was over in Iraq, comma blackout, because you know, somebody got hit. My sister was a senior in high school at the time, and she was talking to an army recruiter. And so the recruiter shows up during this comma blackout to my mom's house in uniform and knocks on the door, and my mom pretty much passed out. Yeah, mate.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Yeah, did he not think that through, huh?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

No, then I mean she had the you know, the star out in the yard and all that, and he was just like, not a care in the world, man.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Mm-hmm. That he's more worried about the numbers on that aspect, I'm assuming.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

That is it.

Leadership Lessons

SPEAKER_02 11:47

Yeah, you know what I remember throughout the military, I had my different type of leaders. I'm sure you experienced it too. Did there any of them that you've had that you think back like, oh man, that that's the one?

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Yeah, there's there's a couple that I didn't care for then.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I mean, they they were ass hats. Yeah, you know, I mean, well, they were tough, is what it really was.

SPEAKER_02 12:08

Was it tough? Because there's a difference between tough and an ass hat.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

No, he was he was he was a tough guy. He was just very tough, very by the rules. Uh there's a couple of them actually. I had a platoon sergeant that was before he came to my unit, was in the night stalkers with the Mugadishu crowd. Yeah, he was uh he was a door gunner for the the Black Ox. Yeah. And we were like, hey, let's can you show us your record? He throws us his paper, like half of it's blacked out.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah, I mean, and then the one one that really comes to mind, he was my first sergeant. Well, he's my platoon sergeant, then my first sergeant. He eventually became a sergeant major. He was a good dude. When I was going through my a lot of trouble for drinking and all that, he he's the one who hammered me. So I of course I didn't like him then.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

I went from E5 to D4, got moved to a different company, all that good stuff, and he uh we deployed to our Afghanistan. And uh this dude, from what I hear, I mean the guys told me, he he he took shrapnel to the head and was like fighting medics off to keep him from being you know medevact out. He wanted to stay with his dudes, and it's just great dude. We're friends now, yeah. I guess like Facebook, you know, contact all that. But at the time I I didn't care for him.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah, I can I can imagine.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

He was the hammer. Yeah.

Getting Out & Weight Discharge

SPEAKER_02 13:28

You know, I've had I've had some crazy leaders and I've had a lot of shitty ones. And when when I started to make rank, I said I wanted to take the best of each one, and that's what I wanted to be. Even with my my faults, I never let the soldier see my faults. So, you know, it was all that that I did behind doors. Oh, yeah. And well, you think it's behind doors. Well, yeah, yeah, until you kick the door open.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Yeah. So you got out and uh and they got you out because of weight?

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yeah. I was in the fat boy program, lost body fat percentage, but I went up like two pounds. And so they were like, you're done. After all that, yeah. And then no more need for me, is really what it was. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

So you so what do you see? You got a percentage to the VA, you're doing all that?

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Oh yeah, I'm I'm 100% good. Yeah, good, good, good. P and T. So I don't nothing to worry about, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Right. Man, it sucks that they got you. Um you know, I would have I would have definitely fought for some type of retirement.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Well, at that time at that time You're thinking it through. Well, no, it wasn't even that. It was I I was the the unit I went to with 4 ID killed any aspiration for me to stay in the military. Yeah, I had really terrible leadership, and it was all the whole well, you know how it goes, the whole look at me. What can I what will this benefit me? And I that wasn't how I was brought up. I was brought up to, you know, soldiers first, and then I worry about me.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

You know, it's it's funny when you say soldiers first, till this day I still am the last one to eat at the house. And they don't understand it. No, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

But you're usually the first one done though, too. Yeah, yeah, that's true too.

Recognizing the Problem

SPEAKER_02 15:03

Yeah, yeah. You know, throughout your life and in transitioning out of the military, was I know you when did you realize there was a problem? Was it before while you were still in the military?

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah, it was definitely while I was in. I thought that I can control it. I thought I could do it by myself. I didn't need help or anything like that. But there was definitely a problem there. And I mean, I was 11 Bravo, man. We Oh, y'all were doing it. Yeah, and we uh you go and get help and you're you're a pussy, you're this or you're that. It was always they never looked at you, you know, like you were an asset once you started asking for help.

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

And I even did it to guys, and I've since apologized to them and told them, Hey man, it's not who I am now. Yeah. But yeah, I when I got out is when I really started to to get help. And I actually had a counseling session this morning. Did you? But yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Good, man.

DUI & Rock Bottom

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Uh it's a lot. And I mean they they're trying to say the benefits of the help that you receive are greater than any kind of punishment or anything that you or or how people look at you, whatever. You gotta get right for yourself. Yeah. For you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:08

For you. That that man, that's that's definitely it. Did you have like a was there like a oh shit moment when you got out, or was it just it was actually while I was in.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

So I had my second DUI in Colorado. I got I was home on R from Afghanistan, and I got so drunk that I you remember I-70, the east-west. Oh, yeah, yeah. Over by the Air Force Base. Right, right. I drove the wrong way down the highway. Oh shit, that and and went head to head with a minivan. Had a couple kids in it.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

You you hit it.

Recovery & Personal Growth

SPEAKER_01 16:41

I hit it. Thank God they weren't hurt. That was the only saving grace I got from that. And and then I I was like, man, I need to I need to quit this. Yeah. I mean, it took a couple years before I actually did. Right, right. But now it's going on 10 years sober now. It's amazing. It's crazy, dude.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

How does how does that feel?

SPEAKER_01 17:01

It's it's good, it's normal for me now. Right. Other people though, they're you know, like I'm single, so I try to date and whatever. And it's like, oh, let's go out for a drink. No, I don't I don't do that, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

So it's are you are you still having trouble being in that surrounding?

SPEAKER_01 17:15

No, I just I don't prefer to put yourself in a situation. Well, and if if somebody has the drink to have fun, I really don't want to be around them all the time. Well, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I like it. And that that's amazing, man. Ten years, no small, small feat, man.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

I mean, I guess California sober is the way you say it. Oh, yeah, nothing wrong with that.

Post-Military Life & IT Career

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Yeah, it's definitely nothing wrong with that. No, but there that's a man. Sometimes you just need that little that little something. Something. There you go. I I definitely need that California sober. I learned that word from her, you know that. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Man, so uh Jesus. So you got out and work, so you just started working IT?

SPEAKER_01 17:53

No, so dude, I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I mean, being combat MOS, you don't you you have nothing to transfer over to. I did a million different things in the military, and then trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I got out. I've jumped around jobs. I I worked in a warehouse. I worked at, well, I previously worked at a gun store and gun range. Then I worked IT, and now I'm back at a gun store while I'm taking IT classes again. It's you know, it's uh just been a lot.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

That's good. So your long-term feat is sustain the IT work.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Yeah, that's where it's at.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

It is allegedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, man. Until AI takes all the time.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

That's exactly what I was gonna say. So would coming out of the military, man, do you remember one of the most hardest parts about coming home?

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Never feeling at home. Yeah. Like, I mean, I know I had this place and I was supposed to be here, but it was never never felt home.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

I felt more at home with my boys back in the barracks or back, you know, yeah over on in the cops overseas or whatever than I did for a long while here.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

I think people people don't understand the the I guess the camaraderie that you miss. And I know for the longest time when I got back in the States, I was so used to always having people in my house that it got to the point where it was just me and I was alone.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

And too quiet.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yeah, and I was like, okay, what do I do now? I don't, you know, I don't yeah. But definitely just the camaraderie. I I I f I feel you on that.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah, and it would I mean uh not no slight against my family or anything because they love me and I love them. But it we didn't have that connection that I did with the you know, the camaraderie, the the the sense of being or belonging that you do with with the military.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Yeah, I totally agree with you. And you you say you still maintain a lot of relationships?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

I try to. I mean, of course, you know, life gets in the way. Everybody has kids, and some have grandkids now. That's crazy. Some of them are some of them are the they were my kids when I was in, they're still in and they're leadership now. Same here.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

I'm watching all these these kids get promoted to SARM First Class, Master SARM First SAR. I'm just like, man. I said, you know, you were uh you were a little shit bag when you first joined. And to watch you grow and then be that oh yeah, yeah, that's amazing. It's definitely like a proud pop of moment.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

And then and then they you know, message or whatever, thank you for you know telling me thank you. And I'm like, what did I do, dude? I was an asshole to you guys.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

If man, that's craziness. So so you how did you get into the armory thing? You just something that you enjoyed doing?

SPEAKER_01 20:27

I like tinkering. Yeah, and uh, I mean I knew modern firearms, so I just I got into the the gunsmithing thing. It again, it's one of those things where I'm trying to figure out where I belong, right? Right, right, right. It's been what 14 years since I've been out, and I still don't really know where I'm supposed to be. Yeah, it's like being in high school all over again, man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Doc, I could see the resemblance. Yeah. You definitely just don't know. Do you do you see future plans? What do you see see for yourself in like 10 years?

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Well, I really want to get on with the hero program. I don't know if you've heard of that with DHS. It's for disabled vets, and they they help hunt down child sex traffic.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Yeah, they usually they they teach you like the uh the forensics part of IT. Yeah. You can hunt them down and and I mean of course you don't go kicking doors anymore. Right, right, right. But you point the the actual badasses in the right direction. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

That's an amazing thing. I I haven't heard of it, but I'm definitely gonna look into it.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Learn more about it. Yeah, and they just had a I missed it. I was gonna apply this year, but they the window was not the same window as it was the previous year, so I I missed it. But this coming year probably. They only do they only do once a year.

SPEAKER_02 21:39

So with with your family, with you coming back, did your family witness a lot of your growth? They see the issues, or was it?

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Oh yeah, they were the ones that were pointing out to me more, more or less. Oh yeah. Yeah. My mom especially. She's like, Ryan, you're not the same. And I was like, you know, well, I'm I shouldn't be the same, but that she meant it, you know, that you you need. Help. And trying to explain the kind of help or the kind of support that I needed was really difficult to somebody who doesn't understand it. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Was was there ever a point in this past ten years that you you had an urge?

SPEAKER_01 22:15

To drink? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's mostly golly, it's it's mostly when I'm in settings, but or when everybody else is or you know. I mean my my extended family, they all drink a lot. I mean but my media family doesn't. So it that was pretty I actually miss smoking more than I miss. Like smoking cigarettes more than I miss drinking. I I quit smoking about eight years. Yeah. So yeah. So now I'll have dreams every once in a while that I'm smoking.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

I quit drinking and I I don't do anything, but on occasion, I have to admit I do smoke a cigarette.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

You know, just just just cuz.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Oh no, I was doing like pack and a half, two packs a day. Cool.

Finding Purpose Through Family

SPEAKER_02 22:56

I'm like a I'm like a cigarette every six months or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when when motivation wasn't enough to keep you moving forward, what what was really family, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Being there, knowing well, my my sister had a a son went after right after I got out, and he's like mine. I mean, I he's my boy. And we being around for him is really, you know, being around for my daughter, of course, and then being around for my nephew. Just you have to, you have to look at the the short term, like short term and long term. But the like, well, the next big thing that's gonna happen, my kids graduating college, right? So I need to be here for that. I can't, I can't, you know, miss out for that. Or my nephew has a tournament or something. Oh, I need to be here for that. He needs to know that I'm here for him. Same with my the rest of my family. And then knowing for me, long term, it's you know, my brother's gonna need me that I I can't just give up.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Do you think sobriety cleared your mind a lot?

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Space? Yeah, oh yeah. And it made it so I'm not dependent on it. Like I would drink just so I could like sleep or calm down or whatever, and it it ended up being almost every day.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Now, how did you when you decided to to cut alcohol out of your life? Was it the meetings? Was it cold turkey?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Cold turkey, man. Yeah. I was just like, dude, I was seeing a girl at the time, and we got into like a really bad argument while I was drunk in a situation where I should have been, you know, making sure everything was safe and all that. I was shit tanked.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

And uh, and then after that, I was just like, all right, cool. This is not who I want to be anymore. This is who I mean, I I should be there for people, not having my girlfriend take care of me right now.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

And uh I I stopped for the most part, had a drink occasionally, and then a couple months after that, I was like, no, not at all.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

That's that's good, man. That's crazy. You know, my my sobriety started with the help of the local law enforcement in the city.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

They they have a tendency to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

But but it's all like, you know, from all the judges who who put me in different programs to, you know, they I got nothing but oh yeah, gratitude and nice words to say about them.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Oh yeah, you can't say any, I mean, it bettered you as a person. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

College & Personal Growth

SPEAKER_02 25:19

You know, I did a I did a post the other day that was just talking about like I'm in my feelings, I'm about to get a bachelor's in a couple of months, and I never thought that I would utter those words. Yeah. And just to see that all the judges like the comment, look, you know, and it was just it was just like it was oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 25:35

Oh yeah, I'm I'm about a year out from mine. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, nice. And I never I again never thought that I I mean I didn't think I'd make it to 46, let alone get a degree. For real? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

And did you always have a you always saw a cutoff number?

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Not really an a sl set number. I just didn't never thought far enough ahead that it like, I mean, I've I did some stupid stuff. Oh, yeah. Who yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that I probably deserved to have gotten shot for, but I I'm here, and that means God had a better, better plan for me than I did.

SPEAKER_02 26:06

When you meet people that you knew in your past and they meet you now, have you ever had anyone to try to judge you from that, Ryan, and not this way?

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, even Ryan from when I first got out isn't the same one that is that's sitting here today, you know. And I I've grown as a person to where I can tell, look, dude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I did this. I'm sorry that I was that person, but I'm not anymore. The biggest thing is that the the good guys in my group chat really, hey, I don't drink, you know. They're like, what? McCayman, you don't drink? It's like, you know, just huge that they're recognizing they're like, hey, congratulations, dude. That's awesome, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

Do you have you had the the privilege of someone saying because Ryan did it, I know I can do it?

SPEAKER_01 26:54

No, not yet. I I I I don't really I guess I don't really flaunt that I'm sober. It's just, you know, hey, we're going out for drinks. You want to come? No, I don't really drink. Yeah. And I I try to keep as little attention on me as possible.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

That's what's so I understand that. You know, one of the things, the main thing, one of the main reasons I started this podcast was that so that other people in the military, first responders, and and you know, people struggling could see that there was an after life after the day you decided to change, just because it doesn't mean your story ends. You can continue to change it, write new chapters, you know, this ain't the way my book's gonna end. And it's it's it's kind of crazy to to get the feedback from different people. Yeah, and and I've had the privilege of hearing a few people say, like, hey man, I'm watching you witnessing your story or watching so-and-so come on your podcast and say this, and that it's it it hits them. So, and one of the biggest things I always try to teach people is like share your story because you never know what your story can impact someone else.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

Oh, yeah, you know, oh, definitely. Things like that, I'm I'm okay with like being a positive. I've never heard myself being called a positive influence, I don't think, as an adult. But if I'm doing something that's gonna help somebody else, then I'm all for it.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Right. Right. Yeah. I uh it's just it's crazy, man. Like I told you, man, you you came across spoken real highly, highly about, and I wanted to meet you. And I know we we talked about this for for a while, but I'm glad you finally took me up on the offer. And you know, it's it's I want people to hear stories like this. I want people to hear that, you know, you struggled, but yet you got up, but yet you're still here, and you you you got big plans and big things in the future.

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Definitely. There since I've been out, I don't know if it's the same for you, but since I've been out, I've had at least I think it's eight of my brothers that I found out had taken their own lives. And anytime that I, if I can ever help somebody step away from that ledge, man, I'm I'm there. You can call me.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

Yeah, 100%. And you know, we started this thing a few years back where me and a group of guys and girls were like, okay, hey, we need to stop meeting at funerals. Yeah, this isn't the only time we need to travel the United States and see each other. Yeah, you know, so we make it like a yearly thing that we we pick a different city and we go and we hang out and just just just kick it. And we've we've been doing that for a few years now.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Oh nice. Yeah, well, I'm not sure. With uh with our group of guys, if they I don't know if they do that. I know there's a couple guys that meet up with each other because they live close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But actually, there's one from my old unit that lives here in Clear Lake, the Clear Lake area, and I haven't seen it since I've been out. No.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Man, it's crazy. I've had excuses.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Oh, you're good.

SPEAKER_02 29:43

I mean, so man, tell me a little bit, tell me a little bit more about you, man. Tell me what what's going on. What is Ryan up to these days? What are you doing?

Volunteering & Faith Journey

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Mostly now I am in taking classes to finish out my bachelor's. It's bachelor's of applied technology for cybersecurity. That's most of my time. I volunteer, I I I do an outreach called Heels to Halos. It was started by a lady in the Houston area that was in the the clubs, dance clubs, strip clubs, and she found Christ. She wanted to minister to other ladies that are in that situation, get them out of the sex industry altogether. I don't go. It's a bunch of ladies. I drive them around, make sure they're safe, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

That's once a month for me. I am in church every Sunday, yeah. Reading the Bible every day, trying to get my relationship with God set. You know, I've just that's been the biggest growth.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Did you always have a relationship with God?

SPEAKER_01 30:38

I did, man. When I was young, I was raised in the church. And then going overseas, I w I've been deployed five times, seeing everything that happens over there, seeing those people or our people getting hurt. And you know, it I walked away for a long time. But that's you know, having a a family or or a church that's praying for you is always the only way, really only way to get out of that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Did you you you say you walked away from church? Was it because of everything that you witnessed?

SPEAKER_01 31:05

And partly, partly that, and partly that I was doing things that I know I shouldn't have been doing, and I felt like I wasn't worthy of it. And then I realized that you know that's where Christ meets you, really, is when you you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Yeah. Nah, 100%. I had a well, I I was close with I would like to say I had a I wouldn't say I'm religious, but I do believe. And there was a point in my life where I wasn't sure whether I did believe or didn't believe because of what we witnessed, and you know, we had questions. If this is possible, how do you let this happen?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

Or, you know, it's things like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:46

Try to rationalize everything.

City Council & Community Change

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Yeah, try to explain, you know, and and even till this day, I mean, I I I believe again, but I have questions.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yeah, you know, and there's nothing wrong with questioning.

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

And also, I um I'm on the city council in my town in Santa Fe. Are you serious?

SPEAKER_02 32:04

Yeah, man, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Yeah, it's uh how long have you been doing that? Since 2024, I got elected into wow, and it's been um a roller coaster, it's amazing. And seeing our little town, I don't know, you know, Santa Fe. It's a little tiny, tiny town that's growing uh like crazy. And uh people are resistant to the growth and the change.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

But a bunch of the older, the older group group, yeah. You know, it's the same thing we had like locally, and then I think a lot of the the Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans when coming back into I wanna I'm gonna use this as an example. Like the um the VFWs. The VFWs were stuck in a way that that weren't changing because of all the older heads. They had built something, like, hey, it's perfect, it works, don't change it. Yeah, you know, and then well the one in Santa Fe shut down.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Did it? Yeah, that chapter shut down. Oh wow. And the building's for sale.

SPEAKER_02 32:55

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

What made you do politics?

SPEAKER_01 33:02

I I wanted to see change. And if I'm not gonna do it, who's gonna do it? Yeah, and the best place to affect change is at the local level. Right. Everybody thinks, you know, like the president or Congress or whatever, but you gotta start small. You gotta start at your yourself, your family, your community, and and change them for the better, and then it radiates out.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Yeah. Do you have aspirations for something bigger than that?

SPEAKER_01 33:28

I'm happy where I'm at.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Yeah.

unknown 33:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 33:31

That that's amazing. You know, I think I I thought about it for a little bit. I definitely don't feel like I'm at that place yet.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

I think Paralyn's a little bit bigger. Yeah, they're huge now, man.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Yeah. It would have took you 30 minutes to get from the middle of Parallel.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

Back over here, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:47

Yeah. These yeah, man, but that's amazing, though. I'm glad to hear that. I I didn't know that about you. And you know, as you say, if you want to start, start at the bottom and be the change you want to see. Exactly. Yeah, so that that's that's definitely that's awesome, man. That's awesome. What so man, you doing that? You got a full-time job, you're going to school full-time, you're raising kids.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

That's a part-time job. Okay, okay, yeah. Kind of raising kids. My daughter, this past year, got her own place in Galveston. She's uh she goes to AM Galveston.

SPEAKER_02 34:15

Okay, nice.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

And so she got her own apartment and everything. She's all grown.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Does this sound weird saying that? Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Like she, I mean, she still comes visits when she wants a free meal or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She doesn't really take care of herself, no.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Really independent.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

It's amazing. You know what is coming in from the service and coming in back into the civilian world. What is what do you think one of the hardest transitions was besides the the camaraderie? I'm missing your your battle budget.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Civilian life is is hard. Yeah. The military is simple. You you you show up in the right place, right time, right uniform. You're 99% of the way there. You just gotta be you just do what you're told, more or less. Right. Here in the the civilian world, man, it's a lot of choices, a lot of decisions. Some of them are good, most of them aren't. And you get it's that that discernment that you get. It's a it's a a curve, a learning curve.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

Yeah, it definitely is. I think that was one of another issue I had coming out, man. I was like, all I knew was being a soldier. I didn't know nothing other than that. So, you know, they told me what to wear. Yeah, exactly. What time to eat, what time to be there. Like, what do I do now?

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Exactly. I think uh uh especially with the workforce, like I I don't call in. You know, like I'll be sick and I'll still show up at work. I mean, stuff like that that people don't really get here that we had to do.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

Yeah, yeah. It's funny that you say that. Yeah. What would what do you think people misunderstand the most about veterans?

SPEAKER_01 35:50

That the the that what I get, because it I you know, the PTSD aspect of it is that they think anybody with PTSD could break and can be violent and can, you know, and most of the time I I think it's just a lot of self-reflection, a lot of internalization. Uh and that we enjoyed doing what we did. Right. And we didn't really enjoy what we did, we enjoyed who we were with. And I think that's a a big distinction of of being a soldier.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

I I agree. I like that. One of the one of the things that you said that when people say they think that you'll snap or they'll think this and this, and I hate even hearing that.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Like that's not even that's not even met that's not even the the medical diagnosis.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it. How do you, man, tell me uh God, Jesus? I'm just I'm I'm excited to hear more about you. And I I love the growth process, man, from the time you got out to just just figuring out what you're doing, kinda, and and just you know, winging it. So did you have to do the whole campaigning, all that stuff?

SPEAKER_01 36:51

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, kinda. I ended up running unopposed, so it didn't really happen. Oh, yeah, but still, yeah. Yeah, I had posters out like the little lawn posters and all that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

And and so that came to you because you wanted to see a change.

SPEAKER_01 37:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

And because the guy I worked for, he's one of my good friends. He he wanted to run, but he can't because he lives in the county of Santa Fe, not city limits. Yeah, he was like, Man, you want to do it right? And I was like, Yeah, I mean, why not? I and he kind of he kind of financially backed it.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Yeah, that's what's that's amazing. You know, if you were if you could talk to your younger self right now, what what do you think you would tell them, or what would you think they would need to hear?

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Stay away from the drinking and stay away from loose women.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

So all the fun stuff.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

All the fun stuff. Leave all that fun stuff. You got plenty of time for fun, man. Yeah, just God never left, man. Yeah, he he's always there, always got his hand on you. You just you might not see it, but it's there.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Do you do you have a mistake in life that you're actually grateful? Grateful for it now?

SPEAKER_01 37:56

Yeah, that DY I had in New York.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

That was your first.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

That was my first one, yeah. So it ended up I was an E5, just fresh home from Iraq. Actually, my I met I bumped into my CO at the bar. Well, he had just left our company, he had just gotten relieved, but he was buying drinks for everybody, like by anybody he knew, he was just throwing liquor down their throat.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:18

And uh I I got a DUI and I got demoted, got moved companies, deployed to our next deployment to Afghanistan, and the company I was with, it was in the uh the Korngar River Valley, you know, the CAF or that area, the the Kunar province. And uh they took heavy attacks, heavy casualties.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

I mean were were they in the bowl?

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yeah. It was uh Fab Blessing, yeah. Up in up there, yeah, they they got hit really hard. And we saw a little bit of it. We were on that my the the attach where my company was, we were on the outskirts of it, but they took the majority of it. And I mean, I was like, man, that could have been me. I could be dead, I could be wounded for life, you know. The the plan doesn't have to make sense, it just it works out, you know.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

Yeah. So you know, I know when you did you work the steps?

SPEAKER_01 39:15

What's that?

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Did you work the steps of sobriety at all? So you just kind of just did your thing.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Did my thing. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 39:21

Yeah. If you had to go back and and talk to a few people and say, hey, I think I owe you a thank you, or or or or something along those lines, do you do you ever do that? Oh, I do that all the time.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yeah. Uh like I said, with the there was one soldier specifically that that I apologized to that he we were in Iraq and our squad got hit with an I or a VBID, not a VBIT, electronically formed projectile DFP. And our squad leader got hit. And he was one of the guys that carried our squad leader out, like he lost part of his leg, not the soldier, the the the squad leader. And after that, he was just like gone. And I was always pushing, I was like, come on, man, we gotta do this, you know, don't be a pussy, let's go, let's go. And after being out, I just I realized, man, that was terrible of me to do that. Like, dude needed help, and I I wouldn't let him go, more or less. And called him names for wanting to get help. And so I I reached out to him and I was like, Man, look, I'm really sorry. Not not for not realizing what you needed back then.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

I should have been a better lead better leader than what I was Well that's and but it comes with man growth, maturity, it comes with you know experiencing those things on your own.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

That's I mean Well and then you gotta realize that the mission doesn't always come first. Yeah. It's the people who are involved in the mission that needs to be but w how were you taught back then? Oh, mission first all the time. Yeah. Complete the mission and then circle back around for the wounded, you know.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

But now I see I see the military now, and I don't want to say it it it focuses a little bit more around mental health, which is good. I definitely think that that mental health should be talked about a lot more than it is, but it is being talked about, yeah, which is a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

I think some of the focus though is a little skewed on the where they focus their mental health.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Tell me, tell me what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Like they need to be more focused on returning deployments or or you know, returning from theaters of operation, things of that nature, or helping people get help and not ostracizing them. Uh, what I've heard since I've you know been out is that it's more coddling than actual help. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's more, you know, oh you poor baby, let me go, you know, let's make this easier for you. Okay, okay. I mean, I may be completely wrong. None of this is the feeling that I've I've been getting from my guys that are still in.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Yeah, I mean, it's it's I feel like it's changed, man. You know, the men in the military aren't wearing dresses anymore. That's it. That's it. So it's a it's it's a good thing. Yeah, yeah. Um, nothing against that, man. I'm all to each of his own, but just you know, keep it.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

Yeah, that's a that's a private matter. Yeah. And you should, you know, I don't care who you sleep with. Yeah, I'm sure we had oh, we know who they were. Yeah, exactly. And it was just like there were our boys too.

SPEAKER_02 42:22

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 42:24

Or our girls, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

We knew who they were, but just yeah, exactly. Didn't fucking talk about it. Yeah. You know what? Yeah, yeah, that's one thing I I definitely agree with you, like mental health and things like that. Um I I'd like to see it. So you were saying that you had a couple of issues with the VA just because of the not just because, but because of the long wait times.

VA Experiences

SPEAKER_01 42:43

Long wait times, but now it's gotten a little easier now with the community care stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was I had an appointment last month for my back, which I had been waiting three months with the VA to get to be seen. And the day before the appointment, they canceled it. Canceled it. Yeah. And I was like, you know, this is I'm in pain, it hurts, you know. Can y'all do something? And then what two weeks after I I get a communic community care consult, I'm seeing a doctor. Yeah. So it's you know, it's getting a little better on that end of it.

SPEAKER_02 43:13

It definitely is. I had the same thing just recently go through with uh neurology, and they canceled my my appointment like the day before I was supposed to go. So I called my primary care and I said, Hey, you know, this is the situation. She's like, Let me make some calls, calls me back. She goes, All right, we got you one next week. Yeah, it won't be canceled. Yeah, you know, so it was like, all right, cool.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

I mean, I've even I've even showed up for like my psychiatrist appointment at the VA. Yeah. And while I'm sitting there, they're like, Oh, your appointment got canceled.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

While you're sitting down, yeah. Yeah, so that's crazy. You know, but I you know, I hear a lot of lot of negative things about the VA. A lot of you know, everybody has harsh words, harsh feelings. I actually am in love with our our VA, man. Which one do you go to? Michael De Becky. I've I've never had a Issue that that wasn't fixed promptly.

SPEAKER_01 44:03

As as soon as they can, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:05

Yeah. But uh the the people there are are are friendly, nice.

SPEAKER_01 44:09

I've I've never had any disrespect or no, I did I have used as a urgent care, I've used the VA hospital. I I go to Texas City the or Galveston just because I don't like to drive up there. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Imagine.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

But I I was up at urgent care and it was the only time it ever happened, and it's I the guy may have been fired for it or whatever, but there's an older man in a wheelchair with a you know the the bag when you you're incontinent where you can't, you know, the pea bags. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And his ankles were swollen like this. Diabetic, obviously. And uh he's like, Yeah, I've been waiting in this hallway. You guys parked me in this hallway for like four hours and I haven't seen anybody. And the orderly just looked at him and said, Well, if you don't like the care here, go somewhere else.

SPEAKER_02 44:53

Oh, she told him that he did, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Oh, he said it. Yeah, it was that that was the only really bad experience I've seen at the VA.

SPEAKER_02 45:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

That was an I mean, it's enough to piss you off.

Military Advice & Life Lessons

SPEAKER_02 45:04

Yeah, that'll do it. You know, uh yeah. So, you know, with with everything that you've you've learned and experienced outside the military, inside the military. If let's just say by chance a family member wanted to say, hey, Brian, I want to enlist, should I? What would your advice be?

SPEAKER_01 45:22

I mean, you have to have you have to be called for it. It's it's not something that I mean people make fun of it like it's something easy. Yeah. Oh, you can just join the military. Well, you really have to know, you know, you have to know you want to be there or or called to be there. I would always recommend, and people have asked me, I recommend make sure you get an MOS that translates to something in civilian war. It's a little bit of an easier transition.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

Yeah, that's definitely a thing. When people tell me I say, hey, go Air Force, yeah. Air Force or Navy. Yeah, go Air Force. If not, go Navy. I don't I've still never met no one from the Space Force. No, I don't mean there. Yeah, so I don't I don't even know that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 46:01

But if you want to, if you want to take a cruise and go chill at different ports all over the world, go to the Navy.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Yeah, join the Navy. Man, what is you know what's something you learned in the military that you still use to this day? If it's like a saying, a phrase, or just a type of leadership.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

A little bit of everything. The the if you're if you're on time, you're late. If you're 15 minute minutes early, you're on time. That is that's why I like right right when I knew I was in the wrong place, and I was like, damn it, you know, yeah, that is my one of my biggest things. And I always look out for people who who are who need it or who are I I don't like saying weaker, but yeah, that if you know you can handle it, they can't handle it, help them. Right. You know. Right.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

Yeah, man. Man, so getting out, what is what does strength really look like to you now? I know in our day we were muscles and all that shit.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

Now it's more of perseverance, man. Yeah. It's like life is not a sprint. And being mentally conditioned is more important than being physically.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:09

You have to have your inside right. Your your your mind, your spirit, and then the body will follow. Man. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

Um, so we use the term Charlie Mike here. Is this Charlie Mike Parland Podcast Studio? Charlie Mike, you know, the podcast. What when you hear people say Charlie Mike, what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_01 47:31

I mean, literally, continue mission. You gotta just keep going on. Nothing gets bad enough that you have to stop. Right. You just Charlie Mike.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

I love it, man. When life hits you hard, what keeps you moving forward, man?

SPEAKER_01 47:46

My family. And I just I love life, man. I like it's pretty awesome, man. It is. Yeah. I I don't want to consider the alternative.

SPEAKER_02 47:55

Yeah, yeah. Man, when we talk about legacy and leaving something for your children, when when you want your daughter to think about you, what what do you want that lasting impression to be?

SPEAKER_01 48:05

That I'm her rock, that I can be, you know, somebody she can depend on, and and that will be there to protect her. And I think she knows that. So that's the biggest thing. And that no matter what, I'm proud of her. And I love her. I might not always like her, but I love her all the time. And she's basically me when I was young.

SPEAKER_02 48:26

Yeah. That's that's the thing. I liked it. What do you wish Americans understood about the people who served?

SPEAKER_01 48:34

That most of us just want to be left alone. That we not necessarily like we it's not that we don't appreciate being thanked or anything, it's just that we don't know how to react to it. Yeah. It's a little overwhelming sometimes that we look at it and we're like, we just did a job, man. We just did what we were supposed to do, what we had to do. We we didn't do it for thanks or the free meal at at Golden Corral once a year, you know? Yeah. Oh man, there's people that did. Oh, I know they're hard. Um, but and generally the more they're talking about specifics, the more it's probably right.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

Yeah, 100%. If you had to finish this sentence, service taught me what service taught me that I am stronger than I ever thought I was, and that I am capable of doing things that I never thought I could. If someone is listening to this right now and they feel stuck, what is something that you would like to tell them?

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Everybody gets stuck. Stuck doesn't mean stopped, it just means it's a a small delay. You're gonna get through this, you're gonna make it. Don't don't make a permanent choice over a temporary situation.

SPEAKER_02 49:43

Yeah. That's it, man. That's it. That's a lot to a lot to and you said a lot of a lot of jewels, I'll be honest with you, man. And it's it's amazing that I'm had the opportunity to get to speak to you and learn a little bit about you. I got man, like I said, man, you came highly recommended. My last question to you is if you were called tomorrow and said, let's go, would you go?

SPEAKER_01 50:08

I think I'd be kicked out because I don't think I'm physically where I need to be. But uh honestly, it for me, it's one of those like I would rather go than see these kids that haven't had to experience it go.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:20

I mean, it is a it's a toll on people, man. It's the mental the mental part of it is just as draining as the physical part of it. And if you're not if you're not trained, well, you're trained, obviously, but if you haven't experienced that kind of adrenaline high for what 24-7 for a whole year, you know, you're you A year to 15 months?

SPEAKER_02 50:42

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 50:42

Yeah, yeah, you shouldn't have to. These kids, I don't think they're ready. And that that's what it feels like to me that they're just they got not lazy, but they got comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

And it's I don't want to see anybody have to know what it feels like to have to end somebody else, you know. It's it's doesn't feel bury your friends constantly. That's it. That is it. And uh if if I I mean with everything going on in the world today, I mean, especially the past week, yeah, it's a very real possibility again.

SPEAKER_02 51:14

It definitely is. I I you know what I was thinking though, what but would it be more ground? It would be more air.

SPEAKER_01 51:20

I think it would be more air uh, I mean, at the beginning.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

Yeah, I definitely don't see too many soldiers walking around.

SPEAKER_01 51:26

Yeah, I I would hope not. A lot of them like the unmanned stuff.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

Right, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 51:30

And hopefully that's what it stays. But I mean, China's put in on, you know, wanting to do stuff if we you know strike Iran and then Russia's being Russia. And yeah, I mean, it's just scary to think that at any point it could all just go crazy.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Are you do you follow just news, world news a lot?

SPEAKER_01 51:50

I I enough to know what's going on. Yeah, because I don't like to be blindsided, but everything is so skewed one way or the other with even any of the major outlets, yeah. They're just I like independent journalists a lot better.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

It's the same thing. I don't watch the news. The only time I watch the news if I need to know the weather. Yeah, but other than that, that's it. Everything else is just from independent articles that I read and then I mean check it. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

I'll hear something and I'll check it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's sad to say you can't trust the media anymore, but you can't trust any of them, right, left, whatever.

SPEAKER_02 52:24

But you you know what's crazy though, a lot of our a lot of people younger than shit. I know a lot of people our age that get their news information from social media, like the TikToks or the whatever, and and think it's true, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:40

You always you trust but verify, man. Yeah, yeah. You hear it. I I mean I do the same thing. I'll hear it and I'll be like, that doesn't sound a hundred percent right, you know, and then I'll go check it and find out that you know it was BS.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

But yeah, it's the same things I I hear at the house, like, hey, did you know blah blah blah blah? And I'm like, well, actually, let me tell you, really, you know, this is what this is. Yeah, yeah. Oh man, but you know, it's it's it's it's get it's gonna get a little crazy before it gets better.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

Yeah, I'm not even sure it's gonna get better, to be honest with you, but as a as a whole, we can do it. You know, we can make it through. Yeah. Survival, if that I mean, is is winning.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Yeah. I I uh I still think, man, and this is my opinion. Well, we were we're still better off than the alternative.

SPEAKER_01 53:28

That is a fact, too. Yeah, I don't think we're as free as we think we are, yeah. But we're a lot better off than yeah, a lot of different places, even like England, they can't the people are getting arrested for posting on social media.

SPEAKER_02 53:40

Man, I saw that. I was I saw a dude get a couple years for something he said.

SPEAKER_01 53:44

Yeah, something against the government. Yeah, yeah. That's that's crazy. And we can still do that currently.

SPEAKER_02 53:48

Yeah, but depending on what your job is, that's a fact, too. Yeah, you need to be careful.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Oh, there was those guys that was it back in like 08-09 or something like that, that were the Marines that posted about Obama and in uniform. Well, yeah, yeah. They were well, they posted on their Facebook page or whatever, and they got in trouble with their units. Yeah, it's just be careful.

Final Message & Wrap-Up

SPEAKER_02 54:11

Yeah, definitely be careful. But dude, it's been a privilege. It's been a privilege to sit here and talk to you, man. Thank you, sir, and get to learn, learn about you a little bit. As always, you guys, I want to tell y'all that if you're struggling with anything, please be sure to reach out to a friend, reach out to a family member, and always remember that you can dial 988, which is a suicide outline, or you can even text 988 and they'll respond back to you. Again, guys, your your friends would rather listen to you cry than uh be at your funeral. So, as always, thank you for tuning in and Charlie Mike. Thank you all for listening to Charlie Mike the podcast. This is me, Soulja H with RedCon One Music Group, and we out.