What If Your Legacy Is Other People Winning

The fastest way to stall your business is to do it alone. We sit down with William Garay   Jr. veteran, entrepreneur, and leadership coach to talk about what actually moves the needle when you are building something from scratch: presence, trust, and community. He shares how he frames his work around helping people eliminate doubt, especially during the messy transition from military structure to civilian entrepreneurship and leadership.

We unpack his Goal-Getter community and why mastermind-style rooms create momentum. You will hear how weekly wins, hot-seat problem solving, and practical series on brand, planning, and AI can shorten your learning curve. We also get real about the parts founders avoid: pricing your time, separating personal and business money, setting up clean systems like LLCs and accounts, and having hard conversations about finances without turning them into personal attacks.

The conversation widens into legacy. William connects small business ownership to generational impact, parenting, and what success looks like at 41 compared to 31. We also touch on veteran mental health, including thoughtful perspectives on cannabis and other emerging tools used with intention, plus a hard truth civilians often miss: veterans understand the cost of freedom in a deeply personal way. If you care about veteran entrepreneurship, leadership development, small business growth, and authentic brand building, this one is for you.

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Transcript

Welcome And Meet William Gray

SPEAKER_00 0:02

This is Charlie Mike, the podcast. Veterans Helping Veterans, talking about things happening in the veteran community, things we've experienced and overcome, such as addictions, PTSD, depression, legal trouble, and we also promote veteran-owned businesses. If you're talking about it, we're talking about it. This is Charlie Mike, the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

What's up, man? Man, brother. Just living life, man. It's been fun. How you been? Well, first of all, let me introduce you to the guys that people that don't know. My special guest today is William Gray Jr. Now he is an entrepreneur, a veteran, a leadership coach, and most importantly, a great father.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

So I thought you were going to say my friend. Oh man, that too. My bad.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

That too. Yeah. Yeah. So how you been, man? How's everything going?

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Hey man, life is good. I'm blessed. I'm blessed. It's been uh it's been a whirlwind, man. It feels like. Yeah. You know, we talk about it a lot. Life comes in rhythms, seasons. Just keep growing, keep learning. Uh, and I appreciate the introduction, man. It's been good.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

It's been really, really good. Man, I've always told you from like the beginning of time that I'm a big fan and I see everything you're doing. And and it's amazing, man. You uh you're everywhere in Paraland now, and and I see it. And how's it feel, man? To be probably one of those faces that's noticeable.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Pretty good. Better than being on a wanted picture, you know what I mean? I tell a lot of folks it's been work, it's been work, you know. You gotta do the best that you can. But one of the things I have learned is it's the presence, man, being present with people, giving them your time, showing you care, being authentic. Like goes a long, long way.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Yeah, man. So what what are you doing now? So I know you're you're in yeah, you what are you not doing, should I say?

Building The Goal-Getter Community

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Man, all right. So what am I doing? I focus on my goalgetter group. So how do we get people into a private community, the goal-getter community on Facebook? And then uh I do in-person meetings, so the goalgetter group is on Fridays, we meet at 9 a.m. They're doing that now.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

What is the purpose of the go-getter group?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

So I've been a part of a couple of different masterminds, and that's what the go-getter is. It's access to me to help you grow your business, right? And what's crazy is like how much it actually sharpens, and we know this, like we we definitely know this. But being in a room with people who are trying to get better, um, well, over the last few weeks have been taking them through different series. So we did a brand series, did a calendar series. Uh, here in a couple of months, we'll do an AI series. So how are we using it? Uh, because that's like clearest advantage coming about. Um and that's been it's been awesome. So we do wins, hey, what are your wins for this week? Always trying to be positive. We talk about someone puts on a hot seat, means what are your business issues, what are you having trouble with, and then you know, maybe 20, 30 minutes of a of a worksheet, like hey, just work on. How do you submit it?

SPEAKER_02 3:16

So when people ask, William, what what is what do you do? Like, how do you how do you describe what you do? Do you say, I'm uh entrepreneur, I'm you know, what what is it?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Uh I always work through that. So depending on I make it contextual. So Role's like, hey man, what do you do? And I would say, well, you know what a fight together in the military, right? That transition, you know how hard it is. Man, I struggled there too. But what really got me out of it was a cleric. And what I didn't realize is I doubted myself. And I still do sometimes. And so what I do is I help people in that same situation who are doubting themselves in their business or in their new role be affirmed in who they really are.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Oh shit, you answered the question with like uh story. I see what you did there. It took me a minute. I was like, wait, is he talking to me?

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Yeah, yeah, you know it is. It's uh I probably have uh a hundred versions of that, right? I try to make it contextual to who we are. If we're in real estate, I'll tell them the same thing. You know, hey, you know what it's like to be in real estate and not know anybody? I know exactly what that's like. I transitioned to Paraland out of the army, and you don't know anybody. And so how you continuously build this? Well, first of all, you have to eliminate the doubt, right? You affirm who you are and the skills that you did before, and that's what I help business owners do. It's the same thing, it's just totally different.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Yeah, I see that, man. Yeah, practice, brother. Practice. How's how's how's everything been though, man? How's the family? How's everyone doing?

Family Rhythms And Homeschool Life

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Doing well. You know, uh uh life is in season, is what I tell folks. I've got a 16-year-old daughter, she'll be a junior. I've got a 14-year-old son, he'll be a freshman, high school. Man, crazy. Um, and then I've got two girls that are 10 and 8, and they're fifth grade and third or fourth grade.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

We homeschool them, so it's always like are they they're all back to school, other than uh the two littles?

SPEAKER_01 5:11

No, just the older two.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Just the older two are in school. The two littles are still homeschooled. You know, we've got a good community now that that meet some of the people that come to the go-gooder group, they have homeschool kids too. And so I try to make sure that the group we have like space for our kids to come. Because one of the things I figured out over the last, I would say six months, is my target audience is more than likely women. Women who are in that transition, who probably have kids, trying to build a side hustle, trying to run their homes, who are maybe a little ashamed of their story. I help them lean into that and then leave.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

From your from your experience, ashamed of what though? Like just being the the mother, the home, stay-at-home mom?

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Well, I mean, I it's what's interesting is I relate a lot to that, right? Uh just not having the courage enough to to know your own story, you know. I mean, you and I have had many conversations, and we've been on other podcasts where we share things that it's like, hey man, I don't know how the heck you got that out of me. Yeah. But you know, there's always things that I think we cover up from our past and we try to be, we we can feel the shame. And I'm like, nah, lean into it. You know, lean into it. You're you're a better leader than you are. And this is what I tell a lot of the women in my life. Like, you're a big influence in my life. You know, my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, my sister, like I was raised by women, and so I I can empathize with it, even though I can't relate directly to them. I can just say, like, the way you led your life helped me be that. And that's what I try to help other women do. It's like lean into your strengths, lean into what makes you you. Like you have a lot of value. And uh some of it's an internal mindset, some of it sometimes is we're just listening to something that someone may have said when we were a little kid and you still. Yeah, and you're like, well, you gotta learn to let that go. That's not really who you are. That's somebody else's voice, not

Helping Women Drop The Shame

SPEAKER_01 7:06

man.

SPEAKER_02 7:06

That's crazy. So um I see you're you're just involved in the city, so you're always at the chamber events. Are you associated with the chamber of commerce at all?

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Yeah, I have been a member of the Paraland Chamber of Commerce for probably three or four years. I think my first membership came with the Paraland Podcast. Oh, yeah. You know, and then uh my wife's business joined, and then my coaching business joined. So I've always been involved with the chamber for a many different ways. And what's interesting is we just had Isella Craig uh at our go-getter group. We have guest speakers, and she shared something very similar. It's like, get get in when you're transitioning, you don't anybody get involved with the chamber, you know, as much as you can, volunteer for those roles. I became an ambassador, and now I'm kind of just I'm a member, I I attend the events as an ambassador, and I'm just continuing to learn how to use uh different platforms and be involved.

Why The Chamber Matters

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Yes, but with your experience in in business and leadership, what's the biggest leadership mistake you see business owners making?

SPEAKER_01 8:11

I think the hardest thing that business owners tend to do is isolate themselves, thinking that you know they're the drivers. Um they're very slow to make the decision, right? So it's like you've learned things that I don't know, and it's and we should be finding that similar community instead. And so the biggest leadership that you can make is like it is taking a little too much time to find. I know that what was my you know, like to find your voice? To find your your community. Okay, you know, you don't have to do it alone.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Any any decisions you make, you can feel very isolated, like everything falls on me, you know, it's all my thing. And like, and as a business owner, yes. You know, I tell a lot of folks like I understand that part of it, but you have got to be quick in your decisions. And so if you know you're lacking in one part, then go find a community, go find a space that allows you to get more information faster.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Yeah, so what's uh let's say what's a what's a leadership lesson that you had to learn the hard way that you you look back now and be like, damn, I should have known better.

The Isolation Trap In Leadership

SPEAKER_01 9:14

You know, the one thing that came up recently, fairly recently, is uh it's not just business. Business is relationships. And for me, business is relationships, and I I'm a relational person, and I I've tried to be like, okay, well, this is just a business decision, and I get that, but there's still a human on the other side of it, right? Uh there's still a a person on the other side of it, there's still a relationship that they go there, and it's not just employees, it's also customers, you know. Like I've known this people buy into you because of who you are, what I do. That's why folks are attracted to what I'm doing because who I am at home and who I am at work, they're the same person. You know, like what you see online and what you see in person, it's the same, you know.

SPEAKER_02 9:59

And when I tried to separate it, or especially early on, it it put my foot in my mouth, man, and it was like, man, that wasn't that was I think a lot of shit, a lot a lot of shit, a lot of stuff was more like um I I guess the saying to say is business is not personal. Is that is it you're saying like a saying like that does not fly?

SPEAKER_01 10:24

No, I mean not for me. Yeah, not for me. I mean, I with this whole rise of AI, you can see that a lot of people can make a lot of money with just like a small business, right? But at the end of the day, I really think that that's just a the gold rush. I really think that people still want the genuine connection. Okay's missing with the AI piece, is a lot of people are selling or or agents or their their thing, but if I don't trust you as a person, that's still the part that's missing. Yes, you may be solving my problem, but a lot of people like I want to know, I want to talk to someone, I want to hear somebody, I want to know like you actually you can relate to me. It's the human factors connection to me. Um, and so for that's one thing that I have seen over the biggest mistake that I've made was early on, I remember saying that, hey, this is just me. And I'm like, that ruined a relationship where now I was on the other side of it recently when somebody said it's just business, and I was like, oh man, that's what it feels like. Because it's not. I don't do business with people who aren't my friends, who I don't believe in, who I don't trust. Right, right. And if I make that mistake, then it does feel like it's just a transaction, and it's not. You know, there's there people are spending their hard-earned money on you for to solve their problem. And there's a whole story behind that. Like they put in their blood, sweat, and tears to make this money. Like, my money could have gone somewhere else to somebody I've trusted who would have developed better. But it's hard to separate. I I don't think you can't.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I feel I mean you got you gotta do business with people that you like, and then um sometimes just the fit isn't the fit when it comes to accepting business. Um yeah, I've had a few people that I turned away from the podcast studio just because I mean one, I didn't want to hear it. You know what I mean? I mean it sounds crazy, but it's true. And then I mean yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Yeah, man, I I think it that is a sign of growth when you can be like, I'm turning away or I'm letting go of this client because they don't fit what I that's you're you're turning away, you know, money. That's when it's like it's not a transaction, yeah. You know, it's a relationship. Like I'm taking your money because I know I'm gonna provide so much value for you, give you what you do want. This isn't just uh, hey, I I need a parking space. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Like it's not that.

SPEAKER_02 12:58

Yeah, I've well, I remember the one man at one point we'd take anything, bro. Yeah, hey, I didn't care who you were or what you were saying. I was like, yeah, I'd listen. Man, now it's not like man. I don't know if I'll stay awake during it.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah. Yeah, you know, you you I think for uh in the beginning, a lot of businesses are that way. And over time you realize just how valuable your own time is compared to what you're getting paid.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Yeah, yeah,

Business Is Relationships Not Transactions

SPEAKER_02 13:25

yeah. Uh putting putting a value on your time has always been the hardest thing in business. I'm sure you know that too, especially with uh like pricing yourself. You don't want to like I I I want to charge this much, but I don't want it to be I want it to be my worth. And then you look at other places like, damn, they're charging way more over there, or they're charging less over there. But and then you're trying to compete. And I mean, yeah, I guess just I don't know what I was trying to say.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

No, yeah, pricing is a hard pricing is very hard for a lot of business owners. And my coach, you know, I remember his story said he started out with, you know, $50 an hour. And I was like, okay. You know, you sh you want people to pay something. And outside of what I'm doing, it doesn't matter what anybody else, you know. So a different podcast studio could be part charging more or less, you know, but that's them. You know your processes, you know what you've got. You know what you get when you get to the parallel podcast. I mean, you know what I mean? And that's what I love that, and this is what I'll tell folks this is my plug for a parallel podcast studio, is it's a constant improvement. You know, that's one of the things that we learn in the military. Always improve your fighting position. Yeah, man. Leave the place better than when you got it. So I'm you're constantly improving it, you know, and that's everything. So some of eventually I may have to my prices, but if I feel good about what I'm charging, then that's what I'm going to go do. I don't I try not to worry about what others are doing. They may help set my price, but a small business owner or a new business owner, like, you know, if you feel it's good, then go with what you feel.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Don't worry about what Yeah, I think uh some of the things too when I did like a price increase, but I was like, okay, I got a bachelor's in cinematography now. I can say that, which was kind of like, oh, you know what I mean. So it's just it's uh it's it's funny, but it's then you have the qualifications now, and you can say these things like, okay, this is what I've got, this is how I perfected the craft, or I'm still working on it because you know, technology changes so much every day, and then with AI, it's just yeah, I don't even know anymore.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Is that the first time you said that on a podcast? I think so. That is badass. That's awesome, man.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

Because I just I remember, you know, I remember getting started and like truthfully, and I've said this. This was like the hardest thing that I the thing that I know we struggled with was like the lighting. And I remember you going, like, yeah, I'm going to a class for lighting, and I'm again like, what? How crazy is this? And you say that, man. Really caught. Yeah. I mean, I I would say like uh thank you know, thank you for for setting that example because it's freaking awesome.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Uh yeah, it was uh it was a hard um a bunch of late nights and hard time, you know, and just like uh but I did it. And if I'm I honestly I know people say this a lot, but if I did it, yo, for real, anyone can do it. Because I did it, you know what I mean? It's just it's it's just crazy, man. And with the newborn, oh yeah, yeah, man. Oh my babe. I know. Yeah.

Pricing Your Time And Your Craft

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Hey, what um what's some of the toughest business challenges you've you've ever faced? Let's say you faced what's some of the toughest business challenges because you got a lot of businesses, you got your hands in a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

Yeah, you know what? It always for me it always goes back to finances and having those difficult conversations.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

That's the hardest thing. Oh, you know, so if it if you're by yourself, uh being honest about what you're spending, a lot of business owners will go and operate. And this is, man, I I love talking to entrepreneurship. I love talking to new entrepreneurs, and I tell them, like, you don't need a fancy business plan to get started. Go get started. And you can figure it out. But the most difficult piece really is finances. Are you set up correctly? Do you have an LLC? Do you have your DBAs? Business accounts, are you separating your accounts? Are you separating your money? How your invoicing is like, and then when you bring another person into it, like some, you know, it gets hard to like share everything because then you get a little um shy about like, well, yeah, that's not necessarily a business purchase. You know, I've shared this too with with I just came into our rental business. And and now, you know, we're at the point now where it's like, okay, let's open up books and let's figure out where all the money's actually going. Uh and for him, it's easy. He's like, oh yeah, I can tell you exactly where it's going. But for me, you know, coming into someone's business, it can be challenging because it's like, what are you going to uncover? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and and uh I have my baby sister, she's a cosmetology, and it's like, okay, well, or she's an aesthetician. So it's like, where how much are you spending on your thing? How much are you getting kicked back? Or you, you know, what can you add on that's really cheap with high profit margins? And she's like, I don't know. I'm like, okay, well, you know, that's the most difficult thing for everybody. It's just can we talk about money without it being an attack on like hey, you're bad.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

No, no, yeah. That was definitely mine. Um, I know that for a fact because I was, you know, when I first started business, I was doing everything everywhere, you know, just accounts, just money, just every accounts everywhere. Didn't personal business, and it's finally when I was like, okay, I need to start this over, and then I need to be like, okay, you know, all right. So now when I go to Walmart and I buy something for the business, I go back in the books and I put purchased, you know, whatever, whatever, whatever. You know, it's just it's it's crazy. And I wasn't like that at the beginning. So I replied. Actually, I I think that that was a big part that that I learned from you. So I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Yeah, thank you, man. No, it's it's it's great. Uh, you know, you mentioned a couple of different businesses. My wife and I have a shaved ice eliminate business, and that's very it's very similar because we're married and our budgets, I mean, obviously we have a shared account and then we have this business account, and it's like, who's actually in charge of it? You know, and I think that's a that's another point is like, okay, if you're in charge of it, it doesn't mean that I have oversight or you can control it all. It's just who's responsible for actually making sure the taxes get like, oh my gosh. And that's the most difficult part of running the business. But there's so many perks on on the other side of it. I was just talking to my dad about this because he's about two years from retirement. And I've always said, like, I can see my eye working together somewhere. I was like, but you know, so he's 100% disabled too now.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Yeah, working where? Or doing what?

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Like a side hustle? Yeah, maybe maybe some consulting or going uh because he's in safety.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Okay, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

And so I can see us going in together to doing some consulting for, you know, safety standpoint, or you know, maybe there's uh uh because he's really involved in in waste management or the the waste sector, so driving. You know, I'm like, he's got a lot of experience. He knows a lot about training. He's just and so I digress. What I was telling them is like when you get into business, you know, now your phone plan gets covered by business. So even though you're making, let's say, $100,000 on this contract, part of that is paying for your phone bill, part of that's paying for your office space, part of it's paying for your health insurance, which you already are paying for now, is just giving it to the business to pay. So now your take home only like 30 grand.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

But on the other side, all your bills, and the one meal you go eat out, business expense because I went out with Raul and we're talking or he comes out with me and we're having a meeting about you know how we're gonna handle this contract. Well, that that meal.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

You know, so it's like the little things like that that you can actually start to manage and run.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Yeah, and you definitely have to to do your studies on it and figure out uh I guess I don't want to say tricks, but tricks. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Yeah. Same thing with like I mean mileage. You know, if uh his his own truck and so that's not he's like, well, I can only make a certain amount. Yeah, and you will. Like because most of your money, most of your take home money, you know, by the time you actually take it home, half of it's already gone because the business took carefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

Yeah, it's tricks. Uh uh, we could get more into that, but off the camera. Yeah.

Money Systems LLCs And Hard Talks

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Um, when did you first?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

feel like your business is gonna be successful man because you got let's say the let's say snowy um you guys are everywhere I know this is the hit season right yeah summertime yeah so well how does how does it feel Matt you do you do you make contracts or is that just your wife doing all that on that business so with that business I would say she's the operator and I I do treat it more like a like a coaching like hey where are we at how do I get you to the next level um how do I help you in your business so I kind of treat her like a consulting like I'm consulting her in this uh although half the time I'll go work the event because my goal for my wife is for her to be more of the GM setting all the things up doing all the back end um and then when it comes to working like if it's a Saturday I'll go work I like it. It's like there's just something about making limit you know working with your hands making a product people are buying it it's a fun it's it's a there's a hustle. But I you know you mentioned like how do you know we're gonna be successful. I just feel like we there's a stubbornness that comes with being in business you know it and we're at the point where we just know once if we can get to certain seasons we'll be okay for the July's coming so 4th of July God willing weather's good it'll be super big you know and that's our busiest day of the year because it's July 4th of July it's hot it's it's summer people want to be outside people want to come we'll be at Paraland uh independence park people want to come and and they'll we're willing to spend money and we're gonna turn out a good product people are going to be happy and like so if there was like a certain moment um you know I knew we were we were tracking when the Gobison County and I would gave us an award for like the veteran owned business yeah that was cool. So that was like a that was an outside recognition of like hey not only are you active in doing what you do but your business is is growing too uh we still got a lot of learning to do but man it's cool.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

So what what's next for that?

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Like you I know you have now when you and your wife sit down and y'all plan what's next for snowy what's next for snowy yeah what is next is we have this bus that is uh it needs to be rewrapped but we'll rewrap it and then we'll have that one out there working too you know my oldest is 16 now I don't think she can drive that but I know that this business is something we can do for a solid 10 to 15 years as ours. And so the goal is to just continue to to keep those running for the kids so they have something to do as as they get older. And then uh I kind of think my wife keeps tiptoeing and trying to do something else too. Like uh she's interested in in uh just different businesses like is there something I can do month through Friday or or you know throughout the week uh and then for me you know as as I get the group going it pushes me as a coach as a consultant to learn the the front edge and one thing I've heard is this is you just have to be a few steps ahead of everybody else. Yeah and that is where like this group has really helped me do that because I'm hearing it firsthand what are you dealing with and right now everybody's like how do I get better AI and so that's the thing that I will start teaching which means which will lead me to more opportunities like at triple A where I'm learning to use AI in this old business to bring up the brand while using my personal touch bring up the brand uh you know decrease the cost and figure out how we you know get back to being number one in parallel which is crazy that's awesome because you do it with this business and then the next person sees you and they're like hey come help me buy business and the next person sees you and that that's what I really think is next for me personally.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

Really so that's what you see like in a few years for each business? I see I see what that's what I see in a few months.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Yeah man I love and I'm not even trying to be like no no no that's the way to do it I love I mean the way you said that right now just yeah because it's it's in the works you know it's happening. It's as uh being with the podcast studio has shown me a lot about brand and I've taught that uh and now it's like using brand and AI and automation to really scale it. I think that's uh that's where that's where we're at man. So everything can happen a lot faster than what you actually think it is because all of the breakthrough in technology.

Snowy Growth AI And Scaling Skills

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Well what's something big that people don't understand about being a small business owner the generational effects you have kids yeah like making that hustle mentality a little bit you know all the intangibles that you that you're showing your kids the the work ethic the the hustle like learning the marketing learning networking how how to speak for yourself like how to shake someone's hand how to not be afraid to talk to other adults how to get help from somebody else I think that's that is underrated nobody understands yeah you know uh so you know I read a lot of books but one of the things that I was reading and I've been focused on the last few months is like the gener the way God works in generations you know my parents work their butts off so that right now me and my siblings we don't have a full-time job not one of us has a full-time you know and I think I just think that's because before that my grandfather and and my grandmother had full-time jobs and they worked their butts off which taught my parents their their work ethic you know because we always want better for the next generation and now I learned that work ethic and I'm able to put it into this business business is and now my kids get to see and they're like the world can they can do anything anything that they want to do. You want to go be a lawyer cool you want to you know my son's in cheer you want to do like just to learn that skill it's crazy what it teaches you.

SPEAKER_02 28:16

There's there's a saying that that goes um actually I don't know how it goes but I'm gonna tell you like the gist of it. So it's like your let's say your your grandparents drove a Ford Pinto um your dad drove a Chevrolet um you drove a BMW your kids drive a Mercedes and once it gets like to the generation of Lamborghini or something along those lines then it goes back down because they forgot how to do the hustle yeah yeah just I don't know if I said that's pretty good yeah that's pretty good. Do you think that that's that's true?

SPEAKER_01 28:53

More than likely yeah but I mean at the end of the day at the end of the day who's to blame the parents man yeah you gotta teach them you gotta teach them the hustle you know you can you know my my kids have seen what I did in the military and I think that's my older two especially my younger ones are definitely a little more spoiled there is an eight eight year different gap between them but um I I've just learned to to make it hard for them I guess not on purpose not like take things away from them but you know still try to push them you know like not staying to you true to your commitments like even a small example like my daughter the eight year old she's in swim and there's times where she doesn't want to go to practice and I'm like you're already committed to practice going to go to practice even though you're whining like the hardship is still on me to to make you follow through with it because you don't know how to do that yet. So still like instilling those lessons you know like so why did you go from a Lamborghini to a pinto? Well it's because the parents you know and then there's a personal accountability in there you can only do so much until they turn 18 and then they're on their own right right but you still have to take some responsibility right because again for me thinking things of generation how do I set them up to set up set up just crazy.

SPEAKER_02 30:21

It is crazy.

Generational Hustle And Redefining Success

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Um what does success look like to you versus 10 years ago man like when you think of success now versus to what you thought success was 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Alright so I'm 41 success 10 years ago I know I was 31 I was still in the military so you know success 10 years ago was probably reaching that retirement. Right reaching retirement retiring from the military uh and then finding work and then you know living a comfortable life probably now success is success for me is making other people successful you know I think it was um I think it was Zig Ziggler that says it you know uh who Zig Ziggler and he says the porn star no the motivational guy oh love it yeah he says uh I was thinking Dirk Zig yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Dirk Ziggler yeah yeah about that he says uh Zig Ziggler says um you know like I think he says like one of the keys to success is to make other people successful like if you can make other people successful you can be successful yeah and a lot of the books I read I'm you know I'm always I always go back to like uh I've shared this many times my my one quote that I love like Leo Tolstoy is the sole meaning of life is to serve humanity on the way over here I'm reading a book called uh the Curse to be disliked and uh they're like the purpose of a of living is to serve another person. For me that's what success is it's making other people successful. You know there's nothing that I can take with me but if I can give every all of my skills away to make you successful then you know I'll have some type of legacy like long lasting legacy. I think that's you know like all of the things all the all the seeds that I plant now I'll never be able to see right there or I'll never be able to see the maturation of it but it's that for me is successful like if I can leave one conversation with one little nugget it's a good day.

SPEAKER_02 32:30

I feel that you know it reminded me of uh I heard uh a guy I asked I asked him one time I said what's the what's the worst piece of advice you ever got in your life and he said uh do what makes you happy and I was like what he's like do what makes you happy is the worst piece of advice because that's so selfish and so like he broke it down and I was just like it made sense man yeah so it was just I don't know why that came to my head when I first because it's like I do I do you know and I I go all the way I'm all over the place sometimes with motivation and I and I think if because if you're chasing that happiness feeling you know like it's not always fulfilling you know like doing what makes you happy like restoring our relationship probably wouldn't wasn't the easiest thing to do right but like you're like I'm gonna do it anyways because it's worth it or you know going to pick up trash it doesn't make you happy the first time you do it.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Yeah or you know like like it's hard but there is there's strength in doing it. So that's a pretty good I like that one.

Co-Parenting Challenges And Showing Up

SPEAKER_01 33:44

That's what's up man um what's something personal you're still working on man something personal that I am still working on I just the thing that comes to mind is my relationship with my kids you know um my older two are from my ex-wife and so that's the the hardest thing is that you know their parents aren't together for them. I think that's so difficult. They don't truly understand it. Um as good of a father as I've been you know there's still that pull to go be with mom want to live with mom and so they're gonna make that they're gonna go live with mom. But uh and so for me it's just like how do I continue to show up for them?

SPEAKER_02 34:28

How do I continue to be there for them while also taking care of my household people who do live in my house the girls they don't have choice of course both their parents are married so you know I think that's the that's to each other yeah I think that's uh that's true that's uh that's the hardest thing to work at now you know it did I think probably gonna be a lifelong thing with our kids I I definitely feel what you're saying um because you know the father I am today wasn't the father I am for Faith or or Layla for that matter you know what I mean they see they're seeing something different as as Charlie's growing up and then Aubrey's experiencing something that she's never experienced you know what I mean and and it's just hard because I do things with with Aubrey and Charlie and I I like makes me like I didn't get to do this with Layla or Faith. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 35:26

It's just different different yeah yeah no I definitely do you know I think uh I think my older two see you know the younger girls being homeschooled and the things we get to do and I know they get jealous sometimes because it's it's hard because they'll be with their mom this weekend and so it's like well what are we going to do are we supposed to live in but I I think that's the thing that uh I mean I I've I'm blessed I still have both my parents in my life and it just gives me a greater appreciation for them you know because they were 19 and 17 when I was born and then an older more mature version when they had my sister you know five years later and then even more or eight years later they had my baby sister. So you know I'm like man each each one of us has a different version of our parent.

SPEAKER_02 36:13

Yeah that's true I feel that and I feel that way with my kids each kid has a different version of they you know Bill obviously has grown with me the most because she's 16 you know she saw me when you know I was 20 yeah man faith faith has seen every one of my moatshots bro yeah and it's just not all of them well from her 21 years of life yes um and what's what's let's say when you think of the business side of of things what's something that you would consider the worst piece of business advice you ever got and that I somehow I knew this question was going to come and um I think the biggest thing the the only thing that comes to mind is that you can't you know you can't like says yeah hold this let me show you yeah you know and then and then you know unfortunately I'm sure there's a lot of folks out there that are hearing that from just different sources family because it's like their projected fears you know and I I don't I've had a very encouraging family so none of my family's ever told me I can't but I've I've heard it in different ways from different people and I'm like who are you you know so on the other side of that is don't listen to advice from people that you wouldn't or don't listen to criticism from people you won't take advice from yeah or don't listen at all yeah that yeah man um what's I can I say I was gonna ask you something but I completely forgot no no no okay so you do a lot of speaking engagements that's one thing I wanted to say so you do a lot of public speaking and when it comes to public speaking for me I always get nervous as shit yeah and I try not to cuss but I always end up doing it and then you know so what is something embarrassing or something that you thought that's happened to you during a speaking engagement do you have something like

Speaking Lessons And Staying Authentic

SPEAKER_02 38:15

that?

SPEAKER_01 38:15

Oh man uh let me see so something that embarrassing that's happened. Yeah yeah um or kind of stepped on my own foot there. You know I think I can't think of anything really uh embarrassing like that but I can tell you there was one that I did for University of Houston Clear Lake uh for their military veterans one and for that one I feel like I prepared well but I feel like it didn't for me like it was if I had to rank them all that was probably was it like jokes that didn't hit or no I felt like I probably just rambled along but I was really really trying to be like polished and like and I was going in there nervous not really sure what to expect or who was in the room um I felt like I did everything I should have done. I was there early oh I was there earlier in the day I did a walkthrough I you know I did my speech but it was just it was just something that was off like it didn't resonate. Even though actually Eli Oh yeah I haven't seen that dude in a long time he's they're active in the chamber now because he works at Galveston I digress. So uh shit there was somebody there was a few people that came up uh afterwards and said it was really good but I just felt like man like I I I felt like I was trying to be a different type of speaker than what I'm used to. Yeah yeah you know like I like to go up there I like to walk the stage I'm I'm comfortable with that I like to take Q ⁇ A's but it was almost like I was trying to address it as a commencement speech and that's not for me that's not how I would have done it like that's not authentically me you know and so I was this was probably two or three years ago so it just wasn't wasn't where I was where I should you know I've done a couple of speaking engagements and a couple of them man I was like you know what I won't when I felt like really uncomfortable I was on the verge of probably just taking my shirt off and pulling like a Burt Kreisher you know I'm saying just to be like you know all right but and then I calmed myself down and decided that that would not be the best option if I'm going viral I'm going viral for this it took my pants off instead of my shirt I wasn't supposed to do that no man speaking's crazy yeah it is and and you know the last time I saw you speak was at one million cubs which was awesome oh yeah man that was fun it was fun I was a little nervous you know just because like a little bit I'm I'm not sure how people you know you people know you but they don't know you yeah and you know when people come up to you like oh man I didn't know that about you it's like yeah you know because I I I don't wear the shirt often you know what I mean like yeah I don't wear the you know I shouldn't make some shirts with my mugshots on for the whole month of July yeah it's funny yeah you know I feel like uh I I feel like those are the things that we hold on to right like that's how we imagine ourselves right like there and so we're able to see the progress and like that's not me anymore but we forget that there's a whole new audience of people who don't know our entire story because for you and I most of it's been online you know I mean I've been super active online and so like I I shared one of the very first videos that I made and I was like dang I was like I was at stubble I think I texted I was like yo did you upload the roller video yeah yeah and it was like man I forget you know that it doesn't it doesn't matter how many times I've said something it's always hidden in a new audience there's always people who don't know me who haven't seen and so that's why I I talk about brand a lot because it's it being authentically you because there are new people that you're going to reach even though your audience and I and I even told a friend of mine that I was like I know we you follow me because you comment but there's no way you've seen every piece of content I there's no way yeah there's absolutely no way so I can reshare it recycle it it's crazy how how we've changed and like we go speak in front of an audience you're like oh they don't even know who I am I read an article in the Army Times which I can't stand that paper but I watch it I listen to it occasionally not listen to it but I read the article so they're doing more um in Texas especially doing more access to cannabis for veterans to deal with a lot of issues um how do you feel with with something like that is that something you would well you know we have the guy on from the podcast about just talking about ayahuasca and I think it's a great I think it's a great start you know I I think it's uh different flavor for every person.

Veterans Cannabis And Anxiety Triggers

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Yeah you know uh uh well they're they're doing it with uh I almost said LSD but that's not right MDMI yeah yeah MDMA MDMA is that it yeah yeah well they used to call that ecstasy in my day I don't know what it's called now I don't know what it's called on the stream I can tell you yeah no yeah I I mean I'm for it I think there's a lot of natural things out there and and uh I've always heard good things from folks who do it intentionally with the purpose yeah of trying to get better uh I mean I see it just with my dog you know like I love having her around I see it I see I went on a a trip recently to Austin and I didn't have my dog for three days and I I was on high alert by saying I told my wife man you've got to deal with me like this from before since I got out because there's just something about having her around where it's like I can go outside I can walk around and I was doing all the things right like I was Still up in the morning, I was still reading the Bible, all of my natural routine, but not having my dog there really did turn on this like high alert anxiety. And I don't really deal with those things. Why why didn't you take the dog? Uh the person I stayed with asked me to leave my dog at home because they have a cat.

unknown 44:19

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

And they're renting. And so they were like, hey, you know, you might have to do that. No, no.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

And this was the Thursday before we left. So I was like, yeah, I can do it. I didn't think of it. Plus, we were also with we also went to go float the river, and it was like, my dog, my dog didn't like water.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Yeah, it'd been weird.

SPEAKER_01 44:35

She don't like water.

The Real Cost Of Freedom

SPEAKER_02 44:36

What's a hard truth that veterans understand that civilians don't?

SPEAKER_01 44:39

Uh the cost of the freedom.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

You know, the cost of freedom. You know, I we just talked about it on Memorial Day, and I've been talking about it a lot. Like, Memorial Day is my third favorite holiday. One of the things I do whenever I open up a uh a networking thing or I give a class on an icebreaker. What's your third favorite holiday? For me, I talk about Memorial Day. For me, it's a day that's deeply rooted in gratitude, and that's what I have for all of our freedoms. It's like you don't you don't realize it. Immigrants too. I think we've had a lot of conversations like that where immigrants and veterans have this commonality where we realize the opportunities we have right here in America. You know, it's not perfect. We know that. We know that. But like better than a lot of other places we've been to. Otherwise, they wouldn't have immigrated to come here. Or and and we've seen the actual cost. So it's like, yeah, it's not perfect. It's it's definitely not get involved.

SPEAKER_02 45:34

Well, and then again, when they show it on TV, they show like all these different country flags that people are waving, which probably none of those people have ever been in those countries. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 45:45

And it's just, you know, and then I mean, I went to high school too, where you know, where where guys would, you know, love their their Mexico and El Salvador, and I'm like, I get it, you know, like it's great, but I don't your heritage is great. That's what I say. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your heritage is great, like I understand. Yeah, and then your your parents are from there. Um, and but you know, all these years later, you're adults now and you're still waving the same flags, and it's like I mean, I'm also like a sports fan, so I I'm from Houston, I would never cheer for a different team. So I don't get when people in Houston cheer for Cowboys, yeah, you know, or being at San Antonio and cheer for the Cowboys. I'm like, that's you don't even go here. You know what I mean? Like, we have a team, cheer for your team. All of them, you know, like the grassroots stuff, like this is my city where I'm rooting for here no matter what.

SPEAKER_02 46:33

I think the only thing when it comes to like I'm rooting for different teams like that is when uh it's college sports, like is college football, but like anything, Texas. You know what I'm saying? So other than that, I don't have a dog in the fight. It's gonna Houston, you know. Um other than that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:49

No, but I but I that's what uh that's what I think is true. You know, veterans, we know the cost of of this freedom. We know that this place, this America, it is one of the best countries. And and you can have all the arguments out there, and and I've heard them, you know, well, what about the tax rate and the insurance? And I was like, then make it better. Yeah, then do what you can to make it better.

SPEAKER_02 47:09

Get involved.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

I I don't know what else to tell you. Yeah, make it better, get involved, start the business.

SPEAKER_02 47:15

And you can't complain about somebody trying to make a difference if you don't got the balls to do it yourself. I could have said that probably more politically correct, but you know what I mean. Yeah, I do. Thank you all for listening to Charlie Mike the podcast. This is me, Soulja Hall with Red Con One Music Group, and we out.