Sidewalk Conversations
"Let the one who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall..." (1 Corinthians 10:12)
Standing strong and remaining true to your calling is no easy task. No one sets out to crash and burn. In fact, it's actually the opposite, most people want to stand strong, remain effective, and be true to their values all the way through to the end. But, it is really hard to do.
In these interviews, Piet Van Waarde (a 40 year veteran of pastoral ministry) has heart-to-heart conversations with ordinary people about what it takes to stay faithful and effective in the things that matter most.
Sidewalk Conversations
When Faith Meets Real Life with Van Kirkland
Van Kirkland shares his journey from Louisiana roots to Texas transplant, including his career as a dental technician creating beautiful smiles and how his faith sustained him through profound personal tragedies. His story reveals how mentorship, community support, and a deep relationship with God provided resilience during life's most challenging seasons.
• Originally from Plaquemine, Louisiana, moved to Texas after marrying a Texan
• Built a career as a dental technician, recently opening a new high-tech dental lab
• Early spiritual formation through mentor Jim Boley helped develop deep faith
• Lost daughter Grace to spinal muscular atrophy, experienced multiple miscarriages
• Miraculously adopted daughter Hope just nine months after losing Grace
• Recently welcomed mother-in-law into their home at age 88
• Passionate about small groups and discipling young believers
• Lives by Isaiah 50:4, speaking words of encouragement to the weary
If you're looking for a church in the Austin area or want to watch services online, check out Shoreline Church at shoreline.net.
What is that Check, check so did you say something funny?
Piet Van Waarde:What do you mean? What? What is he doing? He's already recording, so we've got to say something funny as the intro. You know. All the dad jokes that I know I don't know them right now, you know, or you can't say them on the air.
Van Kirkland:No, the dad jokes are clean, you know. The dad jokes are usually PG, you know at least.
Piet Van Waarde:PG, but not funny. At least they are kind of All right. Well, thank you for joining us for another Sidewalk Conversations. I'm so glad that you've joined us today. Thank you for being here. I'm excited about introducing our guests, but before I do so, I want to say thank you to our sponsor podcast and the work that we do, and this is one of their outreach efforts, and so thank you, shoreline Church, for your contribution, and if you're looking for a church in the area we are in Austin, and so if you need of a church, there are people to come and visit and then they also have services online.
Van Kirkland:So if you want to check?
Piet Van Waarde:them out. You can check them out at shorelinenet. All right, I have a guest with me today. Good friend, this is van kirkland. Thank you for joining me, brother you're welcome.
Van Kirkland:It's good to have you.
Piet Van Waarde:I'm honored well, thank you I love your shirt, by the way, did you try it like, did you try and match the sign? Was that what it was?
Van Kirkland:no I was gonna change, but then I said maybe a segue. You never you never know.
Piet Van Waarde:I'm in the medical field. Is this like your medical stuff?
Van Kirkland:Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah.
Van Kirkland:I'm in the dental field. Yes, Okay.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, all right. Well, let's start at the beginning. So one of the things I like to do is I think that the way that people grew up and where they grew up has a way of setting the trajectory for their life in some ways. Doesn't say everything, but I think it's kind of interesting to hear. So tell me a little bit about where you grew up, kind of some of your key influences, what were some of the things that you learned growing up?
Van Kirkland:Yeah, I am. If you don't know by now, I'm not from Texas. The accent may give it away here soon. I'm from Louisiana, a small city in Louisiana called Plaquemine, louisiana, 7,000 people. So I was raised there middle class. I was honored to go to a Catholic school, a private school, all my life. So, that's all four of the kids went. So that was a burden. That's probably why my parents were middle class they were paying for a private school, the whole time, but anyway, I was honored to go to private school.
Van Kirkland:My father worked for Dow Chemical, my mom worked for the state of Louisiana. Okay, my older sister Les, my brother Jay, my younger sister, pam, we're close, we love each other.
Piet Van Waarde:What brought you to?
Van Kirkland:Texas. Well, I married a Texan. Now she was in Louisiana at the time. We would come to visit when we started dating. We only dated for 10 months before we got married.
Piet Van Waarde:When you know, you know.
Van Kirkland:When you know, you know. So when we would come and visit, we would come for Easter Thanksgiving and I just fell in love with it. That was about 1982. Austin was totally different.
Van Kirkland:I think, the population was about 130,000 at the time, wow, and the roads were clean, everything was mowed, everything was pristine. I'm like it's not like this. In Louisiana Everything's overgrown because we have water and everything grows like crazy. But anyway, we just kind of fell in love with it. I had a career in Louisiana and I won. About five years after we got married we decided it would be nice to move to Texas. And we decided it would be nice to move to Texas. Debbie's older sister lived here. We enjoyed their company. We liked it. We liked the mindset of Austin at the time, for sure. And then I came in one Easter, put out several applications and then, november of that year, a man named Lester Eisenbeck, who I'm honored to be friends with. I think you met him one time yes, I did?
Van Kirkland:He just turned 91.
Piet Van Waarde:Man.
Van Kirkland:And he blessed me with offering me a position at his dental laboratory.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, so let's talk about that a little bit. You have a unique dental profession, yes, so you're not a dentist, no, but you help dentists, right. So how did you get into this?
Van Kirkland:I tell people, we're the people that make the dentist look good sometimes so. I think people love beautiful smiles and that's what I do. I'm a dental technician. That's all I've done my entire life. Kind of going back a little bit, I'll tell you how I got into it because my parents were not the type to pay for our way to college.
Van Kirkland:If we were going to go, we had to pay our way through. My brother did that, and then I planned on it. In the meantime, a man I worked for when I was in high school, his brother was a dental technician, a true artist, and I needed a way to make some money to go to school. Well, he said, van, I need an apprentice. And I just fell in love. I just fell in love with dental technology.
Piet Van Waarde:What does that actually do?
Van Kirkland:I make crowns veneers implants. I don't do dentures or anything like that. I do a dental prosthesis, so I do veneers crowns.
Piet Van Waarde:So it really is like an artistry right, Because you have to match color and all the teeth have to look right and all that.
Van Kirkland:It's kind of funny because there was a different type of art back then, because everything was made by hand. You waxed things, you had impressions, you poured all this, you carved, you did all this, but nowadays I'm 64. Nowadays everything's CAD, cam. So I am one of the fortunate ones that adapted to technology. A lot of my friends don't do it anymore. They just didn't adapt. I've had employees that have not been able to technology. A lot of my friends don't do it anymore. They just didn't adapt.
Piet Van Waarde:I've had employees that have not been able to adapt, but fortunately I've been able to.
Van Kirkland:You just opened up a new lab. I did. I did about two and a half years ago. We built out 2000 square feet. It's beautiful.
Piet Van Waarde:Very high tech.
Van Kirkland:Yeah, it's, it doesn't. My goal was for it not to feel like a lab. I just wanted it to feel clean, open. I was tired of bumping into people. I came from 700 square feet with four people so it was not that much fun, but it did. I had a purpose.
Piet Van Waarde:It allowed me to get set up for where I am now, what do you find is the most rewarding thing that you do?
Van Kirkland:I got a brownie, our lab got a brownie. Today, someone brought us a brownie for them, being pleased, being happy with changing their outlook on life. You, know, making them have more confidence, allowing them to smile larger. You know, making them have more confidence, allowing them to smile larger. So I have to bring a brownie home and my family may like it or not but y'all have sugar coming tonight.
Piet Van Waarde:All right.
Piet Van Waarde:Well, let's talk a little bit about your own personal journey, because you've kind of had a very we've known each other for a number of years now and as we've gotten to know each other, I hear a little bit more about your story and some of the challenges you faced in your life, and you've had some.
Piet Van Waarde:You've lost a child, you had one of your kids end up incarcerated, making some not so great personal decisions, and so on, and yet you've navigated it all. You and your wife are delightful people, strong Christian folk, and so I want to ask you a little bit about Because I think there are a lot of people right now who look at their lives and they have this assumption that if I'm a good person, if I'm going to church, if I believe in God, then that should protect me from some of the not so great things in life. And yet here you are and you've been, you know, devout and a devout Christian, your wife is, and then you've also had, you know, your share of challenges. So talk to me a little bit about, kind of how you've processed that and then maybe some tools that have served you well in dealing with some of those challenges.
Van Kirkland:I think what happened in the beginning they talk about people who give their lives to the Lord and they talk about people who get saved, and then they talk about people who get good and saved.
Van Kirkland:And I think I was one of those people because I had a mentor. I had somebody who invested in my life. His name was Jim Boley and him and his wife were just sold-out believers and they invested their time with us. Small groups young married small group, not afraid to go deep, not afraid to deal with challenging issues, just really call you out if something didn't look right. And I think that's one of the things that maybe the church right now is a little bit afraid to do you know is just run, because the Bible is the Bible and it doesn't change, really, with the times.
Van Kirkland:You know and I think Jim was one of those people he was an interesting cat, he got married and his wife didn't even know that he was drinking a fifth of bourbon a day until they got married, that's crazy but God delivered him from that habit like that, wow, like that. And he is a man of God. He lives in South Carolina still today and pastors a church Italian, black hair, tough guy you know, but God softened him up.
Piet Van Waarde:And he was definitely an inspiration to me. Did he just kind of put his hand on your life and say hey, come along. Or did you seek him out? How did that relationship happen, Debbie?
Van Kirkland:actually worked with his wife who had a nickname. Her name was Holy Roly Boly.
Piet Van Waarde:That'll be a win for me.
Van Kirkland:She got warned. You know watch this lady. But Marion was an awesome believer. She was raised Catholic and she got involved in the Catholic charismatic movement and gave her life to the Lord. But Jim just had a way of just developing young believers. You know discipling people and I don't know what was your question.
Piet Van Waarde:How did you get connected? Did he kind of seek you? Know what was your question how did you get connected? Did he kind of seek you out, or did you?
Van Kirkland:No, well, we were involved in a young married group. Okay, all right, and so he was a part of a lot of young couples.
Piet Van Waarde:They didn't have kids.
Van Kirkland:Jim and Marion didn't have kids, and so they had a lot of time to invest in others.
Piet Van Waarde:So when you started meeting with him, were there some things that he either modeled or shared that served you well during these challenging seasons that you encountered.
Van Kirkland:I think he just helped me develop my faith really deeply you know, and I think it almost wasn't about what God could do for me, it was what you could do for the Lord. You could model things. That's one of the things I enjoy doing. I enjoy being in Bible studies. I enjoy being in small groups. I enjoy investing in other men, young men especially, because I feel like a lot of new of they don't have a deep relationship. You know, it's just trying to help people go deeper with God and not just show up on Sundays or even to a Bible study.
Van Kirkland:But it has to be a seven-day-a-week gig, you know.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, it is. So were there some things that you learned during these seasons that you now find yourself passing along to the folks that you're mentoring?
Van Kirkland:Probably one of the unique things is if people lose a child. I don't know if we touched on that, but we did lose a child. Her name was Grace and she had spinal muscular atrophy muscular atrophy. But what God showed me during that time and I think I attributed a lot to my early faith development is that we need to live every day without regrets. When we go to bed at night, we need to have a clean conscience, because tomorrow's not promised.
Van Kirkland:Although she was sick for a period of time, my faith was believing for total healing, and so when she actually passed away, it was somewhat of a shock to me because I was believing that she would be healed regardless of what the doctor said, and that was very hard on my wife and I probably harder on my oldest son that we didn't talk about. He's bipolar and I think he took it really the hardest out of everybody. He had prayed and desired a sister for so long and at a year and 15 days she was gone and it's brutal.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, so when people deal with things like that and maybe this is part of what you were referencing earlier when you say you have saved and you have good and saved there are people who have kind of a cursory relationship with the Lord. They go to church, they know some of the Bible, but when you face a crisis like that, then you're especially when the crisis is at least partially due to a disappointment with God. Maybe in some ways, then your faith is really like okay, do I really believe this or is this just a joke? So what was it that kind of kept you steady? I mean like, were there some verses that were critical to you? Were there some other people that walked alongside you? How did you navigate that disappointment?
Van Kirkland:I'll be honest with you, it's a big blur. But I know for a fact that a lot of people came alongside of us. I mean, we were involved in Shoreline at the time. We were part of their original small group ministry at the time, so we had so many friends. Probably 1,000 people came to my daughter's funeral. I'll be honest, I don't know how we got. We put one foot in front of the other for a long time, yeah, but I knew that what had been put into me before, I knew I wasn't going back.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah.
Van Kirkland:I've been not walking with God. It stunk over there. You know I didn't do a good job at that, but I knew that with God I had hope. Yeah, you know I didn't do a good job at that, but I knew that with God I had hope. There was just some hope and there was certainly people that great neighbors. We just moved into a new home literally four months before this happened, and so we had a new community. They I can't. I can't really point one thing out. You know, I know that God's faithful.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, and I appreciate your candor about that. I mean, I think back to some of the more difficult seasons we've had and when people ask the same question so how did you deal with your son being in prison? Or how do you deal with a cancer diagnosis? You know, you hear all these things and you're like well, it's like you said what are we going to do? We're not going to go back to a life that we knew didn't have the answers. Well, God.
Van Kirkland:The cool thing about all of this is my wife and I had a deep desire for children. My wife, I think, has had seven or eight miscarriages. We adopted our first, we adopted Grace. She passed away, and then, I believe, nine months after that, probably a mutual friend, cheryl Johnson. You may know Cheryl and Mike.
Van Kirkland:We met them at a, we met them somewhere. And long story short, she knew a young lady. That knew a young lady who was pregnant and she, the story went that she just moved here. She was in a bad relationship, she already had a child and she wanted her child to be adopted by a good Christian home. She didn't want to go through an agency or anything like that.
Van Kirkland:So actually that was a Monday night. We talked to Cheryl. On Tuesday we got this phone call about this whole situation, about possibly adopting a child this is six, nine months after we lose Grace and then she we ended up. Debbie was speaking, I believe. No, no, she was speaking on Thursday. Tuesday, we just went through all of this. On Wednesday we met this young girl. She was 17 years old, she was due in four days. We went to Lago Vista, we met her, had a great time with her. I'm just kind of summing up right now Thursday my wife was speaking for a women's conference at Shoreline. Monday morning and evening and then in the middle of that and I went to someone, went to pick her up, to bring her to our doctor, to get her make sure everything was really good, because we had been through some heartache and she was very healthy, very healthy young girl.
Van Kirkland:After she went to the doctor, I brought her home while Debbie was speaking at the next visit. So now this thing's going to happen. Ok, friday we got to go through the legal stuff. Now I have to find a lawyer that's going to help us out with this, with adoption, and I had to call 37 lawyers before we could find a family lawyer that stayed late on Friday night to meet with us and her separately, at 7.30, 8 o'clock on a Friday night.
Van Kirkland:By the way, she was due that Friday, that's right, she was due. So the doctor did agree to see her and deliver the baby with all of this. So the doctor said if you don't go into labor this weekend, I want you to show up on Monday morning and we're going to induce labor. Yeah, which she did, and she had a very poor family support system. Her mom literally dropped her off at the hospital door. We did not want to. It was not supportive of adoption at all, but we met her there. They induced labor I believe it was, I can't remember the time exactly, but she delivered a healthy baby girl, which is our daughter Hope, on a Monday morning.
Piet Van Waarde:What a great name. Yes.
Van Kirkland:And then on Tuesday she was at the hospital and Wednesday time frame Wednesday to Wednesday we didn't know anything and had a daughter in our house.
Van Kirkland:And so the crazy thing about that is we were prepared. We were prepared for this. We had a room set up because we knew God wanted to add to our family. So from Wednesday to Wednesday I think it started on a Tuesday night and that's why I was confused on the days, but it was Wednesday to Wednesday we went from an empty room to a daughter in our home, and what a wild ride that was.
Piet Van Waarde:You know, I wonder and we can only speculate. You don't know what God has in mind, but I almost wonder if that wasn't part of the redemption, of the story with Grace.
Van Kirkland:Yeah, I mean, if you've experienced loss, I mean it doesn't always, you know, it takes years sometimes, and so now we do get to have a focus. We've certainly never forgot about Grace. We celebrate her birthday every year, but yes, it was, I believe, definitely a part of the process. And then, nine months later, my wife gets pregnant with Carson. So the adoption agency was in Tulsa that we had used when we adopted Grace and they called us up because they knew our story, they knew what had happened, that we had lost her, and they called us up and they said well, have you all thought about adoption again? This was about nine months after it happened and my wife was pregnant.
Van Kirkland:She said no, thanks, our quiver is full, you know, but side note, we were able to introduce them to another couple here in town that went to Shoreline, james and Jackie Lewis, and they adopted Hannah and the adoption agency's name was called Hannah's Prayer Okay, and so they ended up naming their daughter Hannah so. God used it all.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, all right, switching gears a little bit, yeah, so, because you seem to enjoy challenge, you also recently invited your mother-in-law to live with you guys. Yeah, and you know, we're at the age where we're kind of in the middle, so we're launching our kids, hoping they succeed, but then we're also maybe trying to deal with parents that are needing assistance, so it's like we're helping them on both sides. So, carol and I have had some experience with that and I'm just curious what are some of the things that you've learned in this new venture with your mother-in-law? Because that also adds a whole new wrinkle to your life. So talk a little bit about what that's involved.
Van Kirkland:I learned how to remodel a bathroom. We needed to remodel a bathroom so I was able to do that. No, it's been good, and Debbie and I talked many years ago that if it ever came to the point in our lives where one of our parents or both of our parents ever were going to need help or assistance, that I wanted to be open to that. Debbie's father died close to 11 years ago I believe, and her mom's been an assistant, not assisted living but she's had an apartment at Brookdale for many years and it was just kind of getting to be the time where she might need a little more help and assistance. And I told Debbie that's the right thing to do and assistance. And I told Debbie I think it's the right thing to do.
Van Kirkland:You know, I just felt like it was. I was not adverse to it. And then certainly I love my mother-in-law. She's great Challenges. I don't know we're kind of with an autistic son. We're kind of. You know we're at the house a whole lot more. We don't have a lot of free reign as some of our friends who are empty nesters.
Piet Van Waarde:Yeah.
Van Kirkland:But Carson's great and having my mother-in-law, alice, is awesome. We've set her up an apartment in the largest bedroom other than ours in the house and she's made it her home. You walk in there. You feel like you're walking in a different.
Piet Van Waarde:You feel like you're walking in a different she's made it her home. You walk in there. You feel like you're walking in a different.
Van Kirkland:You feel like you're walking in a different. She's made it her own, you know. She's made it her own apartment. She has her own bed, her own things that she's been used to for many, many years and we've just tried to make her feel at home. So, yeah, it's.
Piet Van Waarde:I don't know about challenges, I mean, I just it's an alteration to your life a little bit, it is.
Van Kirkland:It is. I mean because if we want to go out of town and even we want to take Carson with us, you know we need to make some plans for that, but we have family in town too, so somehow we make it work.
Piet Van Waarde:It's been good it's been good.
Van Kirkland:She's an awesome woman and she's doing good she's thriving.
Piet Van Waarde:So when people are in a position, like you're in, where you're kind of thinking, okay, do I find a place for my parents to be comfortable in an assisted living situation or do I invite them into our home, what were some of the things that tipped the scale for you to say, yeah, we're going to bring her into our home?
Van Kirkland:Well, I mean she's 88 now, and so I mean certainly just we slow down a little bit.
Van Kirkland:I haven't, I'm not 88 yet but, I mean, we definitely noticed, you know, her just needing a little more help. I don't know what tipped the scales, it was just time, certainly being in an assisted living or not assisted, but she was in an apartment. It's costly, it's very costly and she was in a great place. They did well with her. It's just. I don't know what tipped the scales, it was just time Seemed like she needed a little more help than she was getting there and you were willing to, willing to provide it.
Van Kirkland:yeah and a step up that help would be more money. Yeah, over at the assisted living as well. So yeah yeah, so it. I don't know what tipped it, we just felt like it was the right time it's. I can't give you these I can't give you, these little nuggets that you ask for every now. It's just like's, just like. I feel like God, this is what we're supposed to do. We pray about it and this is what we're supposed to do. Yeah yeah.
Piet Van Waarde:Well, I also like to ask the question at the end of is there something that you have, like both you and your wife? When I first met you guys, one of the things I noticed right off the bat is that you guys are very much oriented around serving people, serving the church, honoring God with your resources and your life, and I'm wondering if that's part of a theme statement you have for your life. So do you have like a little, maybe a family mission or a personal statement that's like this is who we are, this is what we try and live by?
Van Kirkland:Well, one thing we did at our church we were directors of small group ministry and Acts 2.42 says that they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching fellowship, prayer and communion. So that was one of our that's our sticky statement for sure, with small groups. So my heart is to be to develop. I love small groups, yeah, and I love relationships with men. I love to help develop relationships with them. My favorite scripture is Isaiah 50 and verse four. It says the spirit of the Lord has given me the tongue of the learned to know how to speak a word in season to he that's weary, and I believe that there's a lot of people who need encouragement.
Piet Van Waarde:There's a lot of people who need hope.
Van Kirkland:There are a lot of people who are tired. I mean, the world is draining A lot of people who are? Tired. I mean the world is draining, yeah, you know, whether it be from, you know, political worldviews, even church, it can be draining, you know. So I just my belief is that small groups are important, developing young believers that are playing Christian. You know, I'm not judging them, but I believe that we all need to disciple our young believers. Yeah.
Piet Van Waarde:Well, you certainly do it well, oh, we try, and I just admire both you and Deb and the way you approach life and I appreciate you taking some time to share with me here in the podcast. Thank, you.
Van Kirkland:Thank you, it's been an honor, all right.
Piet Van Waarde:Okay, and thank you for joining us. We are so appreciative of your participation and I hope, if you hear something through this podcast that you think might be of help to someone else, feel free to share and certainly, if you haven't already done so, subscribe to the channel and thank you for joining us. We'll see you next time.
