Sidewalk Conversations
"Let the one who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall..." (1 Corinthians 10:12)
Standing strong and remaining true to your calling is no easy task. No one sets out to crash and burn. In fact, it's actually the opposite, most people want to stand strong, remain effective, and be true to their values all the way through to the end. But, it is really hard to do.
In these interviews, Piet Van Waarde (a 40 year veteran of pastoral ministry) has heart-to-heart conversations with ordinary people about what it takes to stay faithful and effective in the things that matter most.
Sidewalk Conversations
A Wedding, A Mother’s Heart, And Hope with Carol Van Waarde
We trace a “magical” wedding, the emotions of launching our last child, practical parenting tools that built grit and closeness, and the mindset that steadied us through a tough real estate year and a cancer journey. Faith, planning, and words of blessing thread it all together.
• planning and spoken blessing shaping a joyful wedding
• siblings bonded by early, positive language from parents
• chore cards, quality standards and jars for give-save-spend
• choosing the luxury of a full-time mom amid constraints
• repairing mistakes with apology, self-forgiveness and grace
• accepting “life is difficult” to face a down year
• buyer education, rate trends, inventory and builder incentives
• lake properties, short-term rental math and constraints
• steady support through illness via prayer and honest talk
• worst-case thinking to reduce panic and build peace
Find Carol on Facebook and Instagram, or visit Lake LBJ Property Group. You can also message her on the YouTube channel or any platform where you find this interview
Welcome to another Sidewalk Conversation. I'm your host, Pete Van Worden, and I'm so glad that you are here today. We have the actually the most popular guest we ever have on the podcast. Every time this person comes on the site, we have a great audience. So I'm very excited about having her with me today. And I want to introduce our time together by uh quoting a passage of scripture, Proverbs 1822, says that he who finds a good wife finds a treasure and is highly favored by the Lord. And every time I run across that scripture, I find myself thinking a big, huge amen to that passage, because uh I have been married to Carol now for uh going on 43 years, and uh we have known, you know, all the ups and downs of married life, but I would say that as I look at the overall arc, uh we have known much happiness and much joy. I had three kids together, we've done ministry together, and we've just flat out enjoyed life. And so I just want to say a public thank you to the Lord and to my wife for providing such a great uh experience for me in my family. Now, I am excited about introducing to you to her, but before I do, let me say a thank you to my sponsor, who also happens to be Carol Van Ward Realty. So you can find her on Facebook and Instagram, and then as you're interested in Lake Property, she also has a website called Lake LBJ Property Group, and you can find her there. Uh and then even today, you can uh message her personally through the YouTube uh channel that you'll find this on, or any of the other platforms where you find this interview. We always respond to those messages. So if you want to uh reply to her here, you can do that as well. So it is with great joy that I introduce to you my guest and my wife, Carol Van Ward.
SPEAKER_02:Hello, everybody. Yes, the treasure is here. I'm glad to be here.
SPEAKER_04:I'm so glad. I know this is not necessarily your favorite thing to do, but every time you do it, you do such a great job. So thanks for coming back.
SPEAKER_02:My pleasure.
SPEAKER_04:Sort of. All right. Well, I, you know, we're gonna pop around today because there's three things that I want to talk to you about. Um, and they are not necessarily related, but uh they are things that we've been kind of walking through together over this last season. And so I want to touch on each of them individually. So thanks again for being willing to address these topics. Uh, we just married off our youngest son, Kirin, to a beautiful young lady, Manny, in California, and it was an absolutely, I mean, it's I've run out of words. Yes, magical. I love that word. Uh, magical experience. The environment was great, the right people were in the room, uh, and it was just everything about it was perfect. And so I'm wondering if you would like to describe from the mother of the bride, uh mother of the groom's perspective, how that was for you.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Oh, it was it was just an amazing experience. I I kind of run out of adjectives to describe, you know, the wedding of our youngest son. We have three children. He's the youngest and the last to get married. And um, I don't know, it was just like so well planned. Um, there was a funny joke that happened um two days after the wedding. Our son woke up one day. This is true. Uh, he he woke up two days after the wedding and he said to his new wife, Manny, you know, I can really see how planning makes a successful event. Now, Curran has not been the best planner. He does a lot of things and he does a lot of things well, but probably like in that statement, he's saying he's not the best planner.
SPEAKER_04:He's much more comfortable than a spontaneous route.
SPEAKER_02:Spontaneous is true, off the cuff. And he he does that really well. Um, but it's true when you plan something really well, it it just makes for a magical time like that. And so um everything from the venue to the food choices to um the decor and and the various uh side tables for people to look at.
SPEAKER_04:The uh they had a table of remembrance of of the people who weren't able to be there. So your mom, your dad, Opa, Caleb. They did that.
SPEAKER_02:And then Manny's side of the family too. And and just like there were so many touches. Manny took a year to plan the the wedding, and um you could really tell. And then the rehearsal dinner was is was really great too.
SPEAKER_04:So which was your beautiful. Um you you brought you brought all the beautiful touches to that experience.
SPEAKER_02:Well, we um I mean, we're together on this, but we really like to take the rehearsal dinner to sort of honor the couple. Here they are taking this big step in life to legally commit to one another for the rest of their lives. That's huge.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so I feel like um taking time to honor them for people to step up to the microphone and say what they love about the person, what they've noticed, about the the way they live their lives, uh, to do that all before the wedding ceremony. It's just special and people love it. Everybody loves it. And so we had a really great spot for that as well. Um, with an indoor-outdoor, you know, option. Uh, people arrived and they could go outside and and then we all took a lot of.
SPEAKER_04:Took all the pictures on the sunset.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, lots of pictures. And um, yeah, so it was really that was nice too. And uh everything was special. The the friendship group of our son and his wife, we really like them. And um, Manny's family, we really like them. And it's just worth it to to spend extra time nurturing those relationships and taking advantage where we could. Yeah. In fact, um what we did, which I felt a little skeptical about it, but it was Manny's mother's idea to share a large Airbnb for this wedding event.
SPEAKER_04:For the whole weekend together.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. So it was um the two of us, um Manny, uh Manny and Curin, uh our other uh children and their spouses, um, and then Manny's sister, her husband and baby, um, Manny's dad, and then Manny's um mother and her husband. So that was in this big Airbnb. And and we shared the space and it just made it more special. And I'm just very, very grateful.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, one of the things I loved about the rehearsal dinner, um, like you and I when we talk offline about these things, you know, we we hope that people will come prepared with, you know, nice things to say and and and have some thoughtful commentary uh at the rehearsal dinner. And I and the reason I love doing it there is because you don't have the pressure of the day of you know, everybody getting ready and having to do this and that on the wedding day. So the night before, to be able to have that time of blessing, and I'm still moved by the speeches that were given. Everybody put together some very thoughtful things. And uh, and like you said, they were a blessing to the couple. And and I'm a big believer in the power of words, you know, the power of blessing. And to, you know, just see Manny and Curran's face as they received these words. We had them nicely set up in front, and people kind of spoke to them and the group. Uh, it was such a memorable evening. And then, of course, the same thing about the wedding and the next day where everything was just so well done. Uh, did you have a favorite part in the wedding?
SPEAKER_02:Oh gosh. Um, I I liked so many things. It's hard to pick pick one thing, but of course, we had the mother-son dance and so my own, you know, private dance with curren. And then also walking out to the where the wedding was being held. And so um everybody seated in their seats and something.
SPEAKER_04:You're coming in.
SPEAKER_02:Something hit me while we were walking in, and I I was about to bust out in tears. I had to totally contain sobs. I'm walking with you, and I look over, and you had already I saw the the lip quivering and the tanky out, and I was like, oh, I was afraid I would have like weird contortions on my face as I was trying to withhold tears and crying. Um, tears did come, of course. And then there was Kern standing up there, you know, waiting. And um makes me teary even now. But um, you know, his chin quivering at the at the significance of it all.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um you know, our there's weddings all the time, I know, and and parents that are listening, you've had your own, and they were very special. But I think it's your children it um make these life decisions. And a a life partner is the most significant, you know, one of the most significant choices they make. Um and so with our our new daughter-in-law Manny, her real name is Manda, um, we met her when Curran was in college, you know, over 10 years ago. And Curran had a good friend group at University of Missouri, and we would invite them over every semester for like barbecue or pizza or lasagna. And um, Manny happened to be at one of those that I re remember specifically, where we had a really nice conversation for Yeah, she hung out after, talked to us. Yeah. And so she was the only girl that I ever asked Curran about. I really liked her. And for three years I asked about Manny, and she was always dating somebody else. But then everybody in the friend group started getting married. And um, Curran and Manny would go to these weddings and they would sit together, see each other, talk to each other, and they, you know, eventually decided to start dating. And and it just feels so right, you know, it feels like a god kiss that we would um meet her in our own home and have this really just a really nice conversation with with this girl. Um, so many parents don't know their their the person that their child chooses until you know after they're engaged, maybe even.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so we had this little god kiss that we got to meet her early on and feel like you liked her immediately. Yeah, yeah. So we love Manny.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I it one of my favorite parts of the wedding, and like you said, there are so many favorite parts, but I love the fact that they also included Milo. The dog. Yeah, Milo's their uh a little corgie and uh and their baby, really. And they were thinking, but like how can we include the dog? And so they decided they were going to put the the rings in a box and attach it to the collar. And then at the right point in the wedding, when I asked the question, do we have rings to commemorate the commitments being made today? They said, We do. And then at that time, the two uh brothers of of Manny kind of brought the dog out at the end of the aisle and then let him go.
SPEAKER_02:And he was supposed to go with two valuable rings on his collar.
SPEAKER_04:And so he like he looks at them and then he starts going in between some of the aisles, and then finally Kern says, treat, treat. And that was apparently the magic word. So he came came forward, and just that whole moment I thought was really fun.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Milo is a fun dog.
SPEAKER_04:He was he was everywhere, he was on napkins, he was on the uh what do you call those, uh oh, the cozy coozie or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So he was everywhere. Um, so now that was our third son uh getting married. And I'm you know, I found myself being a little reflective after the ceremony, like, okay, our kids are now all officially launched, they have their own families, and I'm just curious, like from the mom's perspective, um like how is that for you? Because now you you like it's almost as if you can say, like, your job is done. It's not like totally done because they'll always need their mom, but like, how has that trans transition been for you?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, well, I you know, I'm still trying to trying to find words to express my feelings. I'm trying to learn what my feelings are. But, you know, Curran was um the third and he was the cuddliest of the children. Um that's long gone because he's 31. So um, you know, I said goodbye to that a long time ago. But there was this odd sense that I had that our our youngest was getting married, the last of our children. And why is that significant? Why do I suddenly feel something? He's been independent for a long time.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02:And um, I'm still trying to figure out what that is. We don't have grandchildren, and so there's there's not like that next step really on the horizon, although I hope and trust that that will be.
SPEAKER_04:We keep hinting.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, I mean, not too much though. Right, right, right. So um, yeah, my I I'm I'm just still wondering about my feelings.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I and I do think that um I've heard you know, psychologists and you know, family therapists talk about this, that it is a different experience for the mom than it is for the dad. That generally the mom, and I don't want to be like too stereotypical, but the mom generally is like the nurturer, the one who wants to create the nest in the home, and the father's the one who's trying to help you know shoot them out and get them going and shoot them into the world. And so I do think there, you know, there's an adjustment of trying to figure out like, okay, so I'm no longer the primary nurturer. They have other people now, all of our kids have other people in their life who are functioning in that role. So it's gotta be a little bit of like, okay, so what it what does that mean for me as the mom?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, exactly. If anybody has a book recommendation, let me know what it is because uh I would like to kind of process that a little more deeply and understand myself so that I can enter the season of being a grandparent better because I've processed that. And um, so if there's a book out there, put it in the notes and I'll or put it, you know, in the comments and I'll read that.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and I think we're actually like in that in-between time because it's like you said, we don't we're not grandparents yet, but we're no longer parents in the you know the most traditional sense. So we're in this in-between time of trying to sort out what it means to be this in this place. Yeah. Um well let let me um transition a little bit to like reflecting on your overall motherhood journey, because you know, you're you're kind of in that season where you're looking back at the things you've done. And there may be people who are listening who are on the front end of the journey. And when you think about the things that were most important uh for you to do as a mom to launch these three kids, and and you know, we have every reason to feel so good about who they are, and each of them are very different, but they've all kind of marked out their territory and are making a difference in the world for good. And so I think people would want to know, like, well, how did you how did you create such uh independent and and uh well-adjusted kids? Obviously, they made their own choices, and there was a lot of other people who helped invest in them, coaches, youth pastors, children's pastors. But from the mom's perspective, what was it that you like look back on and say, I'm I'm really, I really think I got that that part right?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, uh, first of all, I talked when I was pregnant with a sibling, I would talk to, you know, our firstborn Peter about his baby sister that's soon coming. And I would tell him things like, You're gonna love her so much. She's so special. You're gonna be a great big brother. You're gonna teach her things. And I would really nurture his position as the older brother and how special the relationship was going to be. I never spoke a negative word because I wanted to him to get the idea that wow, I, you know, like as a two-year-old, he has this great thing coming.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And and then likewise, when we were pregnant with Curran, um, I got to speak to both of them. And of course, Peter was six at that point. So he was really understanding his role as a big brother and Mallory as well as a big sister. So I really feel like those conversations, and it wasn't just during the pregnancy, but you know, all through the little things that happen throughout a day that these older siblings get to be a big brother, a big sister. They get to to have this special sibling. And um, and I really feel like that nurtured the relationships that they they still have today. Um, who knows, it could be just their personality, but I like to think that the seeds you plant when they're little uh grow into, you know, um bigger decisions along the way. You know, they they have this notion that this can be a really good relationship. Right. My mom told me this, so I'm going to start acting like that. And, you know, they never had like any option, at least coming from us, that this is a bad relationship and you're a bad brother or you're a bad sister.
SPEAKER_04:Like, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, like we all we work together and they have great relationships. I really think that what you say is important. So that would maybe be the first thing. The second thing, um we we uh um tried not to just hand them things. Of course, we loved I loved giving them presents and surprises, but we also we were on a very tight budget as a family, and we the the kids somehow I learned early that um we through Dave Ramsey that the kids um shouldn't receive an allowance. That's just money given to them for no reason. But they could earn money by doing little tasks and chores. And I really liked that concept that they're not just getting free money and I wasn't really fully aware of all of you know what I was doing at the time, but um, I ended up uh creating chore cards. So I took file cards that had various chores on there and everything from uh I don't know, cleaning the sink, uh raking the leaves, cleaning the toilet, um vacuuming, yes, like any anything that people can do around the house. Of course, cleaning their room, they I wouldn't pay them for that. That's just their territory, and it's a requirement in our house to keep it somewhat orderly. You know, I was not a Nazi on that, but you know, like if if they were having a friend over to spend the night, their room needed to start out somewhat orderly. So that was not, you know, they were not paid to to do that. But any I had like 20 chores that I had picked out, and you know, I would have to make sure they did the chore so it was like a real hassle sometimes. And it didn't pay an exorbitant amount of money. Um, Mallory really liked to uh the highest paid chore was cleaning the toilet. So Mallory would always choose that, but the quality of her work was never top-notch.
SPEAKER_04:So maybe she's not watching.
SPEAKER_02:She knows that I I felt that way. So I would send her back um, you know, sometimes two times to get the job right. So three attempts at cleaning the toilet if she wanted to get paid, which I think back then was a a dollar. And then, you know, uh we had a way for them to um uh through envelopes or however we did it, uh maybe jars. Um, but three ways to to um uh have a little jar for tithing, a little jar for saving, and that, you know, we would talk about what the saving would be for, and then another jar for spending. So um, you know, toys or whatever.
SPEAKER_04:10 1080 plan. Yeah, started.
SPEAKER_02:We started early. And, you know, at some point those chores did not pay enough, and they would get little jobs. Um, Peter's first job was uh as a paperboy um when the newspaper was still tossed onto sidewalks. Um, Mallory would feed the neighbors cats and she'd get paid for that. And she was very generous with Mallory. And Kern also was a paperboy, and you know, like they they just had these little jobs to start around the neighborhood. So I feel that um not handing them, you know, money just because um and we probably did that too.
SPEAKER_04:I I feel like well we gave them, I think, if I remember right, like certain allowances for clothes and things. Later on, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Later when they were older, we did that. Um and if we were going on vacation, we would also give them a little amount of money because you know they're spending money, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But I think, you know, looking at them now, I think that really gave them a real value for two things to you know, to be conscientious of money, like budgeting, but also work ethic. Like they are all three just super hard workers. I mean this, they they understand that like there's a payoff between w working hard and and then the the experience of of having some uh money in the pocket.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Okay, I I did have one more thing to share about mothering. Um so motherhood, parenthood is fraught with mistakes and you know bad choices or uh a temper or um for me, one of my issues was guilt over something I did wrong, you know. Um you know, there's any number of things I I won't recall them here, but um yeah, I just I s I'm one of those that holds on to like guilty feelings. And so I think um I've dealt with guilt and you know, knowing that this is sort of part of who I am to hold on to stuff for a while. Um but lately I've I've decided that you what I need to do is go back to that memory of what I I did not like about what I did and to replay that. And um I've asked God for forgiveness for certain things, and I think that's you know, probably the first thing you need to do. But the second thing is to really be intentional about forgiving yourself.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So um and then if it's you know needed to ask your child's forgiveness, um, you know, the probably they don't remember depending on the age, but um, you know, to have a conversation for clarification and you know, we're all just human and we're nobody's perfect, nobody does parenthood a hundred percent correct. Um, if there are parents out there like that, I don't I don't want to meet you and you can go write a book. So um, but I'm not one of them. And um I I sure loved the parenting journey. I especially loved it after they grew up.
SPEAKER_04:And I mean, I love every stage, but yeah, I well, and I think one of the things that I I look back at um that I'm super grateful for, both in terms of like a strategic family decision, but really it's really like what you decided to give yourself to was that we got this um advice when we were early in our marriage from one of our mentors, and that is that every family, every couple decides what luxuries they're going to give their children. And they used the phrase, we are going to give our children the luxury of a full-time mom. And that really resonated with us. I I remember talking about that with you, and like, how do you feel about that being a full-time mom? And you know, you had some career aspirations that you were able to uh fall into and and pursue later in life, but we did decide that that was the luxury we were going to uh give to our kids was a full-time mom. And and early in our marriage and early in parenthood, that was that was pretty sacrificial. There were a lot of financial uh challenges that we faced, but I have no regrets about that that decision that uh you were willing to take on that mantle and and and parent our children as a full-time mom and the and the gift that that they've received in that, the luxury they have in that, I think is paid off many, many times over. And uh so I want to commend you again for that for that decision. I think that was a really good call.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I want to ask you what do you feel like you did good as a dad?
SPEAKER_04:Well, I I was really resonating with your last part of like because I remembered, you know, that one of the challenges I felt uh when our kids were teenagers, I I had to have a a season with them, each of them, uh, where I apologized for uh approaching my work as like too important, and and that there were many things I missed with our kids because I had prioritized work and ministry. And uh and they were all gracious, you know. They kept saying, Well, you're a good dad, you're a good dad. Um, but I still feel some remorse about the way in which I did not make those decisions as well as I could have. Um, but I do think, you know, and this is something I've I've heard you say, and it's it's kind of something I think we did well. I think through the thick and the thin, we had our challenges with each of our kids for various reasons, and uh we were determined to love them regardless. So to walk with them through the difficulties um and the challenges and and and and stay like committed to their success. And I think we did that well. And um I'm proud of uh the fact that we were we were able to kind of see them through their difficult seasons and and and now we're on the other side of that where they're just an absolute delight. And each and each of them, we we enjoy their company. I think they enjoy our company, and uh it's like nothing could be better than that.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_04:All right. Well, um let me pivot to your professional life. Um you now are uh have been for six years uh in the real estate world, and that is a uh It has been, you know, some really good times and then there have been some really hard times. And, you know, whenever you are basically a full commission uh job, when when things are good, it can be nice, but when it's not, it's uh it's hard. And this has been a particularly challenging year in terms of real estate for all kinds of reasons. And I'm just curious how you like navigate the ups and downs of a role like this, because I'm guessing that there are people who are watching who find themselves maybe not in the real estate world, but in other kinds of roles where they have that kind of experience. And I'm just like maybe you can share some of the wisdom, some of the lessons that you've kind of gleaned in this season.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well uh in my real estate career, every year has been better than the last, which I'm very grateful for, um, until this year. And this year was especially challenging. It's been the hardest year, quite frankly. And um so it's been, you know, like a challenge for me to figure out what do I do with this? And it was actually yesterday where we were in a conversation with some people, and we were talking about the quote by M.
SPEAKER_04:Scott Peck, which is once you realize that life is difficult, it's no longer so.
SPEAKER_02:No, that's not the the start of the book. What's the first line of the book?
SPEAKER_04:Life is difficult.
SPEAKER_02:Life is difficult. Life is difficult, and for some reason, I think maybe because every year was better than the the last, that it just felt so wrong that I would have a bad year, like in every way. And I I uh spent lots of time ruminating over this and wondering, you know, what am I doing wrong? And blah blah blah. Anyway, life is difficult and there are seasons where it's just harder than others, and you just um I I think in recognizing that it makes the hard times a little easier. So um and and easier to hope for the good things ahead. So, you know, just because the first 10 months of this year were hard doesn't mean that even the last two months will be hard. They may be fantastic, um, or that next year is gonna be hard. Um, but to somehow it maybe creates a little extra patience for those things. And then, you know, that's one thing that was just yesterday that I was thinking about that. But really, I think that we have an opportunity to bring our concerns to the Lord who gives us wisdom. It says when we ask for wisdom, he will always give it to us. And I feel like even though it's been a hard year, I've been given wisdom on you know, what can I do to move forward? And so there's like faith is a great guide and comfort all at the same time.
SPEAKER_04:Amen. Yeah, yeah. And so when you're um thinking about your future and what what this looks like for you, how how are you thinking about it? And what is what gives you optimism? Because I think there's also people who, um and part of the reason why I think real estate is a little bit more challenging right now is there's a lot of hesitation around you know what's happening in the markets, the interest rates and um inventory and all those things. So like what are some things that you're telling yourself that may also be helpful for those who are similarly distressed about the the whole world of real estate right now?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, um I'm telling myself that the future is bright. Um I'm telling myself that the interest rates have come down a whole percent since last year. And there are lenders out there who give really great education. So I partner, or not partner, but I have relationships with really great lenders who love to educate. And so I I tell my, you know, people who ask me things, I say, just write down your questions or I can give you questions to ask the lender.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Because that's really their job is to to help you learn about this. I mean, how often do you buy a house? Well, a lot of people are first-time buyers, but even if they're a second-time buyer, they probably lived in that house for 10 years and haven't thought about getting a mortgage for 10 years. So they have to be re-educated and lenders change, yeah. Yeah, lenders um do a great job of that and they're used to doing that. They expect it actually. So um I I also um, you know, people ask me, is this a good time to buy? And I say, no, it's a great time to buy. And I can say that right now because um interest rates are expected to continue, the downward trend. Um, again, it's a it's a low, a 1% lower rate from a year ago. There's wonderful loan programs out there for all kinds of situations. Um, and some there's a product just for you. Um, and you know, if there's somebody with a low credit score, there's programs just for you. Um, but it's a great time too, because if interest rates do go lower, you can lower your rate. There's programs out there just for you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I and one of the things I've heard you say too is that like given the trend, you know, right now there's uh inventory is rich, like there's a lot of inventory, and so you have your pick and you can still negotiate. But if it continues to go down, then all of a sudden the competition uh for the inventory goes up and you may not have as many choices. So this is actually a pretty good time given what's available. Um I've also heard you talk to clients uh who are looking at new construction and and people um builders are offering all kinds of incentives.
SPEAKER_02:It's just uh Yeah. Builders offer great loan rates through their um through their lenders. Ums their lenders is always iffy because they're not great communicators, they're not like service-oriented, but they do have better rates. So that's always an option. Um, there's situations where um people who bought during COVID and paid a higher price just to get into the house with that, you know, two and a half percent mortgage rate. They they did pay a higher price. And so some people are having a hard time getting out of those houses. And um, that's just an unfortunate situation. Every everything is unique. Um and then yeah, there's just like it's there's so many options out there. It's it's so fun to talk about. I never get tired of talking about it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. So uh you also have some properties at the lake. We talked a little bit about that at the intro. Um, so you there are even opportunities down, like if you want a lakefront property, they can talk to Carol Van Moore.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So I work with our friend Jake Panko. Um we have lake lbj propertygroup.com and have a website there with uh an IDX um search engine. So you could search for anything really um on there. But we do together we work, you know, to um find properties for people who want to buy there. Um if you have a 1031 exchange where you need to buy a property real quick due to time constraints. Um, you know, you can buy a lake property where the mortgage is covered through Airbnb rents.
SPEAKER_04:Oh man, I was so surprised. Like we were looking at a like a multimillion dollar home.
SPEAKER_00:Yep.
SPEAKER_04:And then they gave their rental record of like what they're getting as income through Airbnb and short-term rentals. And it was like almost like a match.
SPEAKER_02:This is like it it was yeah, it was a match to, okay, so this is a$3.4 million home in an area that accommodates short-term rentals. The builder builds these homes and he has a lot of experience building spec homes that are gigantic that are in short-term rental areas that allow for that. And so he, as soon as the house is built, he furnishes it and he immediately begins renting it out on Airbnb. That's crazy. And so he has, you know, hard facts that this kind of house will earn 200 to 250K every year, uh, which then can pay for the mortgage. Yeah. So the, you know, the problem with a$3.4 million is getting a down payment. That's a little bit hard to do.
SPEAKER_04:But still, I mean, it just it makes makes what seemed impossible at one point to like, oh, maybe. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:All right. My last pivot. I want to talk a little bit about um, you know, we we have been very fortunate over the last uh now 18 months where I've been cancer free. Uh, but there was a season uh for three or four years where it was uh like every couple of months we were doing something else and had to deal with another thing. And uh and you had to serve in that support role, and that was not easy. Uh and now this uh semester, uh I'm offering this course on uh resilience, building your resilience against cancer, and that's for cancer warriors and the support team. And you decided to uh join me for that uh for that class, and I I very much appreciated your uh uh your involvement and your uh your contributions. Um and so I'm just curious, now that we're a little bit you know away from that experience, uh what are what are some of the things that you learned? Uh what are the some of the things that you might share for people who find themselves in a similar position, not necessarily with cancer, but maybe supporting a person who's really going through a hard season uh with in terms of a health challenge. What are some of the things you would say share?
SPEAKER_02:Oh gosh, that's that's kind of a hard question to answer because I'm not sure I'm all that intentional about how I approach that.
SPEAKER_04:Um Well, it felt intentional.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. Well, you know, I think that the first response that I had for you in your situation was um compassion. Um I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. I can't imagine uh what that must feel like to hear that you have the C word and um what that would mean. I'm I think my my mind would just be so busy with all the what ifs and you know doing research on it and things like that. So anyway, compassion and um there is a place that you can exert the energy of compassion, and that is in prayer for your partner. So I prayed a lot for you and um asked God to heal you uh and that you would be free and that we would have wisdom in how to approach it. And so, of course, that's not one and done, that's all you know, constant. Um uh and um the other way that I knew you would appreciate um support is by talking and talking and talking about it. So as much as you wanted to talk about what cancer means and an approach to the cancer, especially because we took this this natural approach at first, 100% natural, no no chemo, radiation or surgery. That was the approach we decided it required a lot of conversation. And um, you know, what do we how do we approach this with our children? Yeah, yeah. Um what about our finances? What about, you know, if it doesn't work? And so as much as you wanted to talk about it, I wanted to be there to do that and to kind of draw you out as much as you would. I I know some people don't like to talk about health issues. So I I don't know what to say to something like that. You were wanting to talk about it, yeah, and um you were great about including me on any processing that you were doing that I I didn't even know you were thinking about.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Uh so I really grateful for for that. And I I don't know if I have a a good word for people who whose spouses don't want to talk about it, except to say that um to tell them that you're there to be a support and that discuss, you know, you feel that discussing things is is always the best approach so that we, you know, move t together toward you know forward. This is a a we issue, not just a you issue.
SPEAKER_03:Right, right.
SPEAKER_02:And if we can move through the process of health decisions together, it's just part of what marriage is about. And you you make decisions together about parenting and about money, but also health decisions ought to be um together.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so just and even on that note, um, this was happening to your body and you had opinions about an approach to take, and I wanted to hear them. But ultimately, those choices are up to you. We talked about them and we were we were in alignment, but I also felt like if you wanted to go a different direction, I had to respect that and support you in it, and not not like not support you in a decision that I didn't like, but to um go with you and and uh be there in that decision that you made.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I I respected that and appreciated it. In fact, one of the things I I don't know if I've ever told you this, but um one of the things I really appreciated about the way that we walk through this together was that you were always um like even keeled. Like if you were freaking out uh inside, I never I never knew it.
SPEAKER_02:Like did you want me to freak out?
SPEAKER_04:No, no, I don't know. I was I was saying that I appreciated your steadiness through it. Like I think sometimes and because I've now been working with a lot of people who have cancer or have you know a partner who has cancer, I can tell that there is like an anxiety around this other person that affects the the person who's who has cancer. Like when they're really anxious, this that creates a another level of anxiety for the person who's wrestling with the disease. And um and I think you were very conscientious of saying, like, I'm not going to add to the burden. And that's not to say that there weren't times where you said, like, I'm scared. This, you know, like when we went up to Mayo and we had all those surgeries, that was that was a scary time. And and you were willing to say that, so it wasn't like you were being uh Pollyanish. But uh uh overall, I would just say that your your ability to process yourself in order to have some stability and steadiness for me was super helpful. It was such a gift.
SPEAKER_02:I think it's helpful to go to the worst case scenario for somebody in my position. So to really grapple with that. So, like you were going into surgery, and I had to say, okay, what if he doesn't make it through surgery? Now, you know, it's the doctor was very reassuring that that wouldn't happen. But you know, we all wonder, and um, you hear about weird situations where somebody had a reaction that the um doctors didn't expect and suddenly they're gone. Um this this happened to my sister just recently.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um so I think to go to the worst case scenario and ask yourself a couple of questions like if Pete leaves me and he transitions to heaven, will I be okay? Will I be okay uh emotionally, spiritually, uh financially, relationally, all the you know, places of will I be okay? And to wrestle with that, um I think the answer for everybody can be yes, you can be okay. Now you know, I knew that like like everybody dies, okay? But like if you were to leave me, I know I'll be lonely and you you fill my world. You're my treasure. Um, we're each other's treasure. There you go. Anyway, I I know that will be the case, but I also know that I can take steps to to not be lonely, and I can I can do a bunch of things to fill my time and my relational network, and I would miss you, yes, but uh I will be okay. And so uh and I have God to cry out to, you know, and um tools in my tool tool belt of life to manage all that stuff. So I feel like that is a key thing to be to remaining even keeled.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, because if you go to the worst-case scenario and you say, okay, I'll I won't like that, it'll be really hard, but I can't I can I can do it. I like by God's grace, I can do it. Then no matter what happens, you feel like, okay, well, I've I've answered the hardest question. You know, and so uh yeah, we can go there. All right. Well, I have thoroughly enjoyed our conversation again. And I think uh your your uh responses and your answers have been really uh yeah, just there you I love it.
SPEAKER_02:Oh well, thank you for having me. Probably everybody watching thinks they do this every day. They just sit in two chairs facing one another. And it's true we sometimes do that, especially like if like here we just had a wedding, so sitting together and talking through stuff is just a pleasure.
SPEAKER_04:And um In fact, that's that's how I knew that you were the right person for me.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:All the way back in the prayer garden at ORU when we had conversations about all kinds of everything. We talked about everything. Like we talked about theology, we talked about like our experiences in life, and we talked about like fun stuff, we took a motorcycle ride. I mean, like it was like we had all the we covered all the gaps. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_02:In fact, we have this car ride coming up, and it's a long one. And I'm looking forward to it. It's gonna be nice to be together and talk about stuff.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you for talking about it here with my friends.
SPEAKER_02:You're welcome.
SPEAKER_04:And so thank you for joining us for another sidewalk conversation. So glad that you are here, and uh, we hope you join us next time for another good sidewalk conversation.
