Friendships That Change A Life with Otto Hernandez

We trace Otto’s path from restless teen to devoted husband, father, and believer, and how one pointed question reframed his career and faith. Along the way, we unpack the habits that keep marriages strong, why accountability works, and how friendships become anchors.

• early influences from a strong mother and approachable youth pastors
• formative moves from Puerto Rico, New York, Virginia, and Florida
• meeting Sandy through hospitality work and building a 40-year marriage
• practical habits of forgiveness, grace, and assuming the best
• the pastor’s challenge that sparked a return to faith
• career doors reinterpreted as God’s assignments
• moving to Texas and finding service, church, and community
• accountability for health goals and why it keeps momentum
• why helpers struggle to receive help and how to grow

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Transcript

Welcome, Sponsor, And Theme Of Friendship

Piet Van Waarde 0:00

Oh, welcome to another Sidewalk Conversation. My name is Pete Van Ward, and I am your host today. I'm so grateful that you've joined us. And I want to start today's podcast with one of my favorite quotes from Thomas Aquinas, and that is one of the greatest treasures on earth is true friendship. Now, sometimes when I have guests, I'm just getting to know them. But other times, like today, I am bringing on a guest that I've known for a long time and at a deep level. And I am very appreciative of the friendship that I share with our guests today. I think you will enjoy them as much as I have, and I cannot wait to introduce them to you. Not long ago, we had Joe on as the guest of our podcast, and he is the owner and proprietor of Texas Silver Rush. And he so much enjoyed his experience, he said, Hey, I want to start sponsoring this. So and so I want to say a big thank you to Joe and Texas Silver Rush. If you're looking for a unique gift for your loved one this Christmas, I suggest maybe you check them out. They have an online store, but if you also happen to be in the Fredericksburg area, you'll find them on West Main Street and a nice little place. Go by and tell them I said hello. I think you'll enjoy it. All right, now let me introduce you to my guest, Otto Hernandez. My good friend, thank you for joining me. I'm so glad you're here today.

Otto Hernandez 1:53

Well, it's my pleasure and honor to be here with you. Thank you.

Piet Van Waarde 1:56

Now, some of the people might recognize you from our little contest that we did in January. We're gonna talk about that here in a bit. But we're gonna start all the way back at the start of your life. One of the things I uh so much appreciate about you is like when I think about some of the stories that you've shared about where you've been, and now I look at the life that you have now as like, how did how did that happen? Because it it could have been that you ended up in a very different place doing very different things. And now you're a man who loves God, got a great family, good at business and all that. So uh for other people to appreciate a little bit about where you've come from, talk a little bit about where you started, how you got to where you are, what were some of your formative influences growing up, that kind of thing.

Otto Hernandez 2:45

Well, you know, uh I like to thank God for uh the place that I am and for the family and for the friendships, including you. Uh because you're right, there's so many different paths we can go on in life. And uh you look back at different times and you could have gone left, you could have gone right. And uh many times I went left when I should have gone right, but I guess God gave me enough signals, go right, young man, go right. And I took that right enough times that, you know, uh uh He's blessed me in my life.

Piet Van Waarde 3:14

So uh Well start where like you grew up in like New York and Puerto Rico.

Otto Hernandez 3:20

You know, we're one of those families that that did move around. My grandfather and grandmother, they were uh missionaries and they had a a church in Puerto Rico, and um my parents met when they were very, very young, 15 and 16. I believe I was uh well, they were 17 and 16, I believe, when when I was uh conceived. Uh so wow. Very, very young family. And uh at an early age, uh I think before five, uh we moved. Actually, my mom uh moved us to New York City back where she had family uh from Puerto Rico. So we went from the luscious tropical island to you know what I used to fondly call the concrete jungle because it really was just concrete everywhere. Uh but when you're a kid, you don't know any better, right? You're where you are is where you are. Uh but you know, part of what you talked about, the early influences, um having uh somebody as strong as my mom in my life is my my first blessing.

Youth Pastors, Tough Love, And Early Crossroads

Piet Van Waarde 4:18

Yeah. And then you had uh a little wild runoff here and there.

Otto Hernandez 4:25

Well, yes, as the world uh has many influences, you know. We we we went um and moved to uh Alexandria, Virginia. My mom, uh, with her career working for uh some government entities there, we're right outside of Washington, D.C. And I was uh fortunate enough to grow up in a nice little area by um uh George Watchinson's house, Mont Vernon, in junior high and high school, and uh you know, uh some Pentagon uh influences and government influences, and um uh the world looked very attractive at that moment, and I had some uh you know exploring to do with that.

Piet Van Waarde 5:05

Like we've we've shared black sheep stories. And I'm like, dang, I thought I was bad. Well, bad in a good way or good in a bad way? Yeah. All right, so we won't go into detail about that. Uh but you you also had some people in your life uh that kind of tried to help get you on the straight and narrow. You had a a youth pastor at one time that was kind of influential. Talk a little bit about who else influenced.

Otto Hernandez 5:37

Talking about exploring, I uh I did a couple things. Uh, you know, I love I'm I'm a car guy, right? And I think that started early with family. But about 14 years old, I I snuck out uh my parents' car and I had an accident uh right outside of Washington, D.C. And um so you could say that was, you know, growing a foul of the law, right? And uh my mother in her wisdom, she uh she gave me some choices. You know, you're gonna hang out more with our youth pastor and get some little choices there, or we have other choices for you. Um so yes, at that moment, uh I spent more time with um people that uh poured into me. And one of them was uh, or two of them were two different youth pastors in uh uh right outside of Alexandria, Virginia.

Piet Van Waarde 6:25

And now did you engage them willingly? Like was it like something you wanted to do? You know, I I was like, I don't like these consequences, so I think I'll go here.

Otto Hernandez 6:35

No, it it really um I I trusted my mom, you know, and and uh she never stirred me wrong, not that I always wanted to do, you know, the the straight and narrow or the the bumper guards that you know parents that love you want to put there. Uh so it wasn't like um contentious or anything. It was just, hey, sure, this uh I'll go in that direction. Um and uh I I felt at that moment more influences, positive influences in my life and friendships and all that. Uh so that was, you know, the the junior high school to high school years where I was a little bit rebellious, uh, and some people would say a lot rebellious, you know. Thank you for the advice, but I'm gonna go do this other thing. Um, and you know, at the time it seemed like fun, it seemed like the thing to do. Um, so uh I had influences on both sides. So I could see wrong, I could see right, I can see family. Um, through it all, though, you know, my I gotta give credit to my mom. You know, she the love that she had, the time that she had, the um uh commitment that she had to our family and uh modeling, you know, integrity and modeling modeling love uh and sometimes tough love. You know, I think one of the things that she says when I was younger that I I didn't understand at the time, but hey, my job is uh to teach you how not to need me. And it was really, you know, she was raising boys at the time. And uh it was, I'm not gonna be your friend when I need to be your mom. And uh that that taught me something about responsibility and uh uh caring and loving, but at the same time, you know, sticking to what's right.

Piet Van Waarde 8:17

So what was it that uh some of your youth pastors uh did that worked for you? Like what were some of the ways in which they influenced you in the positive?

Career Moves, Florida, And Meeting His Wife

Otto Hernandez 8:27

You know, the the um the trust part of having uh conversations and being vulnerable, right? They shared about their experiences when they were young. They shared um uh how they came to uh change from ways that in the past might have not been positive for them and and towards the future. Uh and then seeing the influence that they had uh with other people, with those around me, because you know, even in the youth group, um, you know, we all knew who was not doing you know all the positive things, uh, but they they had a a um a friendliness and an openness about them that they were approachable. Uh we could tell them anything individually as a group. Uh and it was a it was a place that you wanted to be. You wanted to be part of that, you know, where you felt accepted, you felt understood, you felt heard, uh, but at the same time, it was not um that we're just gonna allow any type of behavior, any type of thought to uh just you know run wild. So that, you know, again, like home, here was another influence that was loving, yet there was bumper guards. There was, you know, there's right from wrong. Yeah, I love that.

Piet Van Waarde 9:48

All right. So then you uh graduated, you went on with your life. You uh if I remember the story right, you ended up in Florida, right?

Otto Hernandez 9:55

Yes. I uh different different circumstances. I I um followed the work. And whenever there was an opportunity to get a promotion and make more money and advance my career from early on, you know, one boss said, Hey, we need you in Mississippi in two weeks. And it's like, where's Mississippi? It's like, well, how much do I make? And what do I do? You know what? I'm starting to drive right now. Uh but I always knew that I wanted to be go to Florida because we used to vacation in Florida um during the winter time. Uh so I thought, why do we live in New York? And why do we live in Virginia when there's Florida? But nobody tells you about July and August, right? About the mosquitoes, the size of helicopters. Uh so I knew I wanted to go to Florida. And uh, you know, thank God too, because I ended up uh going to Florida, and uh that's where I met my wife.

Piet Van Waarde 10:47

Uh so but you know You kind of worked together, if I remember right, yeah.

Otto Hernandez 10:51

Yes, we uh we met uh opening up the big hotels in the right out right outside of Disney. There's several uh big resort type hotels. And you know, we were in the in the service industry at the time when you're young, and you know, the the money was good and the benefits are great, and we um we met that way in uh working together, yeah. And uh how long have you guys been married? Oh well, uh this next year will be 40 years that uh she's put up with me. So I I remembered that. Thank you. Good for you. Good for you.

Piet Van Waarde 11:26

All right. Well, I want to can I dig a little bit on the marriage thing for a bit? Yeah, absolutely. Um so you know, 40 years, that's that's uh that's not bad, especially in today's world.

Otto Hernandez 11:37

Yeah.

Piet Van Waarde 11:38

And uh, and so, you know, Carol and I have done 42, so we're just a little ahead of you. But people will, when they hear that, they were always asking, well, like how do you uh what do you attribute your your longevity to? And so I'm curious when people ask, yeah, I'm sure they ask you the question question, what what do you say have been some of the keys for your longevity of marriage?

Forty Years Of Marriage And The Work Of Forgiveness

Otto Hernandez 12:01

You know, um I'd like to say it was all because we're great people. Um you are great people, that's for sure. Well, thank you, thank you. You know, it and any anything that's worthwhile, I think, is worth working toward working for, right? Yeah. And uh when you're young and you know, you hear and you see it on the movies and all that, you know, and they met and they fell in love and they lived happily ever after. And uh I think that's that's only you know very, very short window of time where the butterflies are there because you know, life, life is, you know, comes at you, comes at you early, comes at you from different directions. Um, and you know, going back to I'm gonna go back to family, right? Seeing seeing even though we had divorces and those type of uh scenarios in our family, I I did see love and I saw commitment, and I saw what working hard for those that you love looks like, even then in the midst of um uh things aren't not going great. So 40 years, you know, we had our ups and downs, and you know, uh at different times Sandy was stronger and she put up with me. Uh at some times uh, you know, I carried the the relationship, you know, maybe not as often, right? Uh but for different reasons, right? God gives puts us together so we can complement each other. Yeah, for sure. When I was younger, I didn't I didn't recognize that. And um uh I probably gave myself more credit, you know, because you think that you know you're you're the rational, the other person's the emotional, therefore ration um uh wins out. However, there's room for ration and emotion. Um, and I think um one of the things that uh we learned through mentors, uh because we've we've had mentors throughout, is is uh forgiveness, flat out forgiveness. Um and one thing that I still to this day, I know that sometimes we hurt each other, you know, people that get close to each other, yeah. You get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. And sometimes we get to see each other when we should be supporting, but inadvert inadvertently we get hurt by something that's said or done. But I did learn that looking at uh Sandy's heart, that just because I was hurt by something doesn't mean that she actually meant to hurt me. So do I react with what the effect was that she didn't really mean to hurt me? Because it's like, you know, I know she loves me, so therefore she wouldn't have done this that hurt this. So therefore, I want to lean on the fact that she loves me and point to that as opposed to how this felt and how I took it at surface, which then allows me to not take the offense. Yeah. Uh and at the same time, I ask for that forgiveness. I asked for that, you know, I didn't mean to hurt. That's not what I intended for you. I am um human and I make mistakes. Uh, and hopefully as we grow, we recognize those things before they happen. Yeah. Uh but giving each other grace uh because there's gonna be a time we we're gonna need grace. Amen. So that I believe has been what we've needed to learn along the way that sustains us to the next time, and that we that we need to really dig in and and and lean on our mentors and and lean on other couples like you guys, that we can see that again, right? Through all the ups and downs, you know, we love the uh marriage that you guys have. Uh so uh there's hope for us all.

Piet Van Waarde 15:54

Yes. Well, I I think you hit on some key things there. You know, you gotta work at it. Anybody who says you're not working on your relationship doesn't is not going to experience the goodness of it. And then that forgiveness piece, man, I I feel like that is something like you never you never get over that. Like there's still, even if you've like know each other's things and you hopefully don't do it intentionally, but there's still stuff you do to one another where you're gonna like have to say, man, I'm sorry. I did not, I did not mean to do that. Or ouch, that's stung. Can we can we try that again? Oh yeah. All right. Well, uh, I also want to kind of come back to the spiritual journey because you know you had these good influences with your youth pastors, and then you kind of went off in life and pursued the things. And you've also told me a story about like a rededication that came later in life, that there were some things that you were working on, and then somebody spoke some things to you that really helped kind of navigate in a new direction. You want to talk a little bit about that? Sorry.

The Wake-Up Call: Pastor’s Question And Rededication

Otto Hernandez 17:14

Yes, you know, the the the as a man, you you want to provide for your family. And I was fortunate enough to uh have a career in which every time that I saw it opening, you know, I just ran through it, right? I I didn't have the greatest plan in the world, uh, but I was given opportunity. And uh again, learning from my mom that uh, you know, your commitment to doing a good job, integrity, and working hard and providing is just something that I knew and I had in my heart. So I followed that. And I that became part of my identity. I I really started to have success and um from the ground up at a company in sales. And then, you know, I it got to be that that that was almost the most important thing. And um the the career took us and moved us. And like before, hey, I'm moving for the opportunity. Uh we ended up in uh State College, Pennsylvania. I had an opportunity there, um, a good opportunity, great pay, great benefits, and a chance to bring my family from Florida to experience the Northeast and seasons changing and all that. But I was working six days a week. Um, and so Sundays, family day, the God's day, I took it as an excuse to sleep in. And uh I would go to church religiously, right? Religious holidays, Christmas and Easter. Um, and I think I made it to like two uh church picnics. And uh so uh Sandy, you know, being the faithful wife that she was, she supported me in my career. Uh but at the same time, she was taking care of the kids, taking care of the family, and you know, started a community with our church group that, you know, she had uh that we had visited when we were moving there. And then finally she she you know, she would invite me to church all the time and to all the functions and everything. And she then asked me to if we could have a talk with our with our pastor and um Pastor Paul Grable at the time. And I said, sure, you know, I'm I'm willing to do everything, right? Yeah, um and uh yeah, and uh, you know, he he was very direct uh and says, Hey, Otto, uh Sandy tells me that you're a Christian. I said, Yes, I am. It's like, however, I don't see you, you know, participating in our church life and with the family. I see them here all the time. Um why is that? And it's you know, I thought that I knew everything and I was a little cocky because I had some career success. And um in the wall that we put up emotionally, uh I was I thought I was quick and I said, Well, I I don't want what the church is selling. Um and he immediately said, What's the world selling you? And it was literally a split second, right? It stirred the spirit and I recognized what I was running from, not intentionally, but I wasn't paying attention to a spiritual life. I wasn't paying attention to the benefits that God had put in front of me that I thought that doors opened and I just ran through them. Well, he had been opening up those doors. He gave me a beautiful wife, beautiful children, a a great career, an opportunity to uh supply for my family and help others in in what I thought was a good thing and bringing them up in their career. Uh, but in a split second, I realized that in the in the nonchalant way, I wasn't paying attention to the things that were important. And right then and there, that was my my my spirit that said, you know, you need to come back home.

Moving In Faith: Pennsylvania To Texas

Piet Van Waarde 21:02

You've told me that story every time I I I love it every time I hear it, man. It's just a beautiful story. Because I think that's A, I'm just like the pastor having the insight and courage to to say the pointed thing, but then uh, you know, the Holy Spirit and you're responding to that little conviction and saying, Yeah, yeah, I need I need uh an adjustment here and tweak and then making it, you know, because I we don't go to the same service, but when we do, you're always in that same seat now. You're within spitting distance. Literally. This this last Sunday, yeah. So first seat there. But um and and you you you're a genuine believer in in all the ways uh I've experienced that and uh how you've supported our family and me in the cancer journey and all the things. So I'm very grateful for for your friendship and the way in which you reflect Christ in your life. Um now that that's like a more central piece of your decision-making process, you have you've you've continued to move, you've continued to do things, you have jobs, you know, you met from Pennsylvania here to Texas, and now you've had a couple of different things you've done here. Um how does how do you navigate some of those decisions with your faith in full view? Like how does how do those things marry together as you're trying to decide what to do next?

Service, Community, And Finding A Church Home

Otto Hernandez 22:32

You know, um as I did before when I thought that I was making these these decisions on my own and that the door opened up and I just ran through it and took advantage of every opportunity. I I recognized that God opens those doors. And um I in in the past, when I did made a decision, you know, I'm just gonna get up and move from Alexandria, Virginia to Mississippi, Mississippi to Georgia, Georgia to Florida, Florida, Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania to Austin, they were about the jobs. The last when I came back, I I did, you know, reach into to my faith and say, God, is this the right thing? Um, and it's funny because the last time was I had come back to my relationship with God and my family unity got better and all that in state college, in the le under the leadership of our pastor Paul Grable. So when the opportunity came, a necessity came of a job in Texas, uh, because I had, you know, been downsized in Pennsylvania, um, and we went to him, and at this time, Sandy had taken the job of being his assistant and the office manager. So now we're even more connected, and here's a possibility that we might leave. So I wanted to get his thoughts and his blessing. And um he actually was very gracious, gracious in the sense that he said, you know, you guys are bilingual, and here there's not that many people that need both languages. Over in Texas, you guys is being able to speak English and Spanish, God's gonna use Spanglish, yes, like as we do around the table. You guys, you know, God will use you in bigger ways. And so cool. I immediately, you know, he he gave us that word of wisdom, and it was like God giving me permission. And uh he just he also said God isn't in, God isn't just in State College Assembly of God. And he he poured into what I was thinking. I had done well with coming back to God and my family in that environment, that I really was like, How can I pull my family from that? And what I what I got in that moment is that when God opens the door and you trust him and you go there and you have him as the center of your life, no matter what's going on around you, then those doors uh are open for a reason. And the people that you meet, you know, immediately, you know, we uh pastor gave us five churches to visit. We visited three in the first Sunday, and uh that next week we came back to Shoreline. By the time Sandy came back a month later, we were all you know in Shoreline, and uh she um uh used to help with all the back uh uh church things. Uh so she was more in the background, right, as the office manager and and his his assistant. Uh and over here, I said, honey, they're uh asking for volunteers for this Thorn production. And she goes, Yeah, I'll volunteer. Well, whoever was in charge chose her as Mother Mary. Up front, in front of what, 5,000 people, right? Um, so sure enough, you know, we we started serving together. We met some great friends. So right off the bat, just like when we went to Pennsylvania, immediately the first couple that we met, uh uh that we became really, really good friends, Mike and Lisa Madera and their kids, you know, we still vacation together, right? So each one of these moves that we've put God in front and been part of the center of our lives, uh, not as also God blesses it. So I'm I'm literally not afraid of going and doing anything because whatever it is, if you're with God, you know, He's gonna turn that for the good. Even if it is that I lost a job and I need to look for the job in another state, my family's never been there, I don't even know where I'm going. But you know, God's gonna be there too. So amen.

Piet Van Waarde 26:45

I love that. All right. Well, let me cycle back to our little accountability contest.

Otto Hernandez 26:52

We just went to a wedding. I just, you know, come on. It's like for real. Uh, you've been to like three birthday parties? It's crazy. It's crazy.

Piet Van Waarde 27:02

So um Otto's been my uh accountability partner. We've been each other's accountability partner. I how long has it been?

Otto Hernandez 27:10

Like this last October was um a year. All right, so a year a couple months, yeah.

Accountability, Health Goals, And Real-Life Setbacks

Piet Van Waarde 27:17

Yeah. And so part of that is that we set different goals and we say, hey, we're gonna this is uh what how I want you to hold me accountable. Wow. It's been a bit. It's been a bit. Um and so then this last uh I got I got back from Mayo and I needed to do some I needed to lose some weight. And I said, I'm not gonna be able to do this on my own. So I kind of threw out the idea. I said, Hey, you feel like doing this with me? You're like, yeah, I'm in. So we did this accountability where we kind of took a different approach to how to do health and fitness, but we would do these little videos on Sunday. And uh, and then I had to quit because I went back to Mayo and they said, Oh no, you can't do that diet. That's not good for your kidneys. So I was doing keto and they said, fat is hard on your kidneys. So anyway, we didn't we didn't finish the whole thing as we had hoped, but I thought it was still a good exercise for us. And I'm curious, because there are a lot of people who, you know, and we're coming around to January, and people are going to make new goals about what they want to try and do, maybe particularly in health and fitness. What are some of the things that you took away from that experience that you say this was this was good, even though we didn't get all the way through? These were some of the things I learned.

Otto Hernandez 28:30

Well, you know, the was the destination that we would get all the way through, what was that, right? So it is the journey, is the destination the journey? I think the journey is what I got out of it. Right. Having a goal, and this goes back to maybe tying it back to uh marriage, right? Think of yourself at a certain place and work backwards from there. And what do you have to do every day? Uh, and if it's worth it, it's worth working at. Um but having a friend, a partner, uh, somebody that can uh hold you accountable, that you can laugh with, but at the same time say, hey man, you know, uh we need to get back. Yeah, we need to get I did once again be affirmed that that type, you know, God put us together. Uh everybody in your life has a purpose and uh us leaning into it, right? Because when we met and we became the fun friends to each other, uh, or one of the fun friends. I'm not saying that I'm the only fun friend that you may have, but you're pretty high on that list. All right, well, I appreciate that. And you're certainly a lot of fun with uh for me. Uh I look forward to the times that we uh spent uh time with each other, uh, but I also looked forward to, yeah, I want to tell them I finished today. Yeah. Yeah. I did not look forward to I didn't do what I said I was going to do. Right. So the accountability piece, you know, um And it felt good hearing from you saying I did this today, which you know felt good that I could, you know, help be part of your journey. Um, and uh I think that helps us in in life in general, is having a friend, having somebody you can talk to, having some common goals, and not just doing it for doing it, but for the fun of it. I mean, it it was fun and it's still fun. I mean, we started back up like I think two days ago you sent something. It's like, hey, I'm back up to two days, I reset. I was like, well, I need to reset. So you see, it's even though you know we haven't gotten there, I think we're still going.

Why Helpers Struggle To Receive Help

Piet Van Waarde 30:41

Yeah, the journey's still there. For sure. And I think one of the things that I've taken away from this is that like there are some areas of my life where I can be disciplined without accountability. Like my pocket prayers, that's just something I do because I love doing it and it's easy for me. So I don't need somebody checking in on me to say, hey, have you done your like because it just comes. But then there are certain areas of your life, and this is one of them, where unless I have somebody kicking my butt and saying, Come on now, I'm I'm just gonna be lazy. I'm just gonna eat what I want. I'm not gonna exercise as much as I should. Bacon. Bacon, bacon, steak, yes, bacon. That's yeah. My biggest issue now is eating while I'm watching TV. Like the I gotta, I gotta figure that one out. But anyway, so uh having just recognizing that there are gonna be some parts of your life, this happens to be mine, where accountability is key. And then you gotta figure out like what's the levers that I gotta pull in order to be more successful. And one of my levers in this area is accountability, and that's why I and you're good at it, you know. So I I love that that's part of what I've learned uh from this whole experience that hey, just just one of those things where I need accountability. Yep. It's fun. All right, I have one bonus question. Every now and again, I will pull a question off a list that I didn't share with you.

Otto Hernandez 32:08

Oh here he comes. This is the journey. Yes, but you had a destination, yeah.

Piet Van Waarde 32:15

So so um, you know, you're a helper. Like uh you have on more than one occasion gotten up early, taken me to the airport, um, and just all kinds of little things that you do. Just you're just like willing to drop everything to come. But when you need something like today, I was just like, hey, why don't I come pick you up? You gotta well, I could tell in the tone of your voice, you were like, Well, I don't want to be a news. I think I can figure it out. I can drive the computer. And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna ask, and that's gonna be my bonus question today. Why do you think it is that people who are great at helping have a hard time receiving help? That's um interesting.

Otto Hernandez 33:09

Because you've now busted me that with that twice in a couple days. Um you know, I at a certain point, you know, I uh family, you know, certain certain things that you see, you know, if you can do, right? And always being there for each other and all that, and and I think maybe to a certain point, um there's a there's a self-of, there's a um not necessarily sense of belonging, but maybe purpose that if you can, you can be the helper in general, right? And um it feels good to help, it feels good to make somebody's you know, day or whatever it is, you know. Um and maybe because it feels good, but we also know sometimes it's hard, right? Sometimes, you know, you commit to things and all that, and you have to navigate right behind the scenes to make things happen. Uh, but it all ends well and it feels good. Uh so maybe maybe it's we just want to continue just being the one person that, oh yeah, I I can call out or he can take care of that for me. Or I I don't know the answer to that. I'm I'm coming up and uh I'm thinking through it while we're sitting here, and it's definitely getting hot in this chair. Hey, can you help me out and give me a ride someplace tomorrow, 5 a.m.? Come on. Absolutely, totally.

Piet Van Waarde 34:42

You know, I do I think that there's a uh little principle that we talk about in marriage uh counseling when we do marriage counseling, and we did a lot in premarital counseling, where we talked about the 80% you love is often driven by the 20% you hate. So a giver, like that's the thing you love. The part you hate is that a lot of times they don't want to be the person that needs help. They want to be the helper. And so the stretch for them is to be on the receiving end of help because it feels so out of sync with what they normally want to do. And I'm guessing, uh, and we've never even talked about this, so this is a new thought for me, too. But my guess is that part of what makes you great, even in your sales work, is that you instinctively see things that can be done, you can fill in gaps, you can make, you can help, and people feel really cared about. So, you know, you get applauded for that, you get promoted for that. And then this other thing about like being the person who needs the help is like it feels very out of sync.

Otto Hernandez 35:45

I can uh I can definitely see that. Yeah, absolutely.

Closing Gratitude And Call To Build Friendships

Piet Van Waarde 35:48

So maybe, yeah, maybe that's it.

Otto Hernandez 35:50

Maybe that's it.

Piet Van Waarde 35:52

See, I'm here to help you grow in that area.

Otto Hernandez 35:56

I didn't know I needed growth there, but obviously my accountability partner had to hold me accountable to grow today. I will grow today, Pete.

Piet Van Waarde 36:05

Thanks for uh bringing me there for exposing you on national podcast.

Otto Hernandez 36:11

Can we cut the commercials? No. Oh, this has been great, man.

Piet Van Waarde 36:17

I thank you so much. Uh I appreciate your time today. And I just want to say again, I appreciate your friendship so much. You're good. Absolutely. Appreciate your friendship, love you, your family, so it goes both ways. All right. Thank you for joining us. Uh appreciate your being here too. I hope you have a good friend as well. If you're not, uh building those friendships in your life, you're missing out on a great treasure. So make time for it. And thank you for joining us for this uh sidewalk conversation. And uh join us again next time when we'll have another interesting guest doing interesting things. Bless you. Have a great week.