Getting What You Really Want with Cayla Craft

The journey towards achieving our deepest desires often begins with a single, yet profound question: What do we really want?

In this episode, we delve into the power of self-inquiry and strategic decision-making that propels us toward our goals.

Joining us is Cayla Craft, a renowned coach and mentor known for her dynamic approach to empowering individuals in the pursuit of their ambitions. Cayla's reverse-engineered coaching method from her network marketing triumph is sure to light a fire under you.

The conversation pivots around Cayla's framework outlined in her book, What Do You Really Want?  Here, she emphasizes seven pivotal questions designed to empower your personal and professional journey towards success.

If you're at a crossroads, seeking clarity on your path forward, or simply looking to infuse your life with more intention and fulfillment, this episode with Cayla Craft is a must-listen. 

Tune in to discover how to articulate what you really want and take the steps to make it your reality.

IN TODAY’S EPISODE, I DISCUSS:

• The seven critical questions that guide you to clarity and purpose
• Practical strategies for aligning your decisions with your deepest desires
• Embracing emotions as feedback, not identity

CONNECT WITH CAYLA CRAFT:
Get to know more about Cayla Craft: https://caylacraft.com
Get her book, What Do You Really Want?: https://www.craftedoffer.com

RECOMMENDED EPISODES FOR YOU
If you liked this episode, you'll love these ones:

• How to Actually Make Money Investing
• My Money Planning Process to Achieve Your Goals
• Are You Really Living a Rich Life or a Bankrupt One?
• A New Path to Conversation, Connection & Conversion with Natasha Willis

TAKE THE FINANCIAL FREEDOM QUIZ:
Take this free quiz to see where you are on the path to financial freedom and what your next steps are to move you to a new financial destiny at http://www.YourFinancialFreedomQuiz.com  

OTHER RESOURCES:
7-Day Money Plan Workshop: https://www.TheMoneyPlanWorkshop.com
Affluent Entrepreneurs Private Facebook Group https://www.melabraham.com/group/

CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: MelAbraham.com
YouTube: MelAbraham.com/tube
Instagram (@melabraham9): MelAbraham.com/ig
Facebook Group: MelAbraham.com/group/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@melhabraham

GET MY BOOK:
“The Entrepreneur's Solution The Modern Millionaire's Path to More Profit, Fans, & Freedom” – melabraham.com/book/

Transcript

Mel Abraham [00:00:00]:
All right, so we talk a lot on this show about money, about wealth, about living that life. In this episode, we're going to talk about it a little differently. I'm bringing on a dear friend of.

Mel Abraham [00:00:11]:
Mine, Kayla Kraft, and she's got a.

Mel Abraham [00:00:14]:
Brand new book coming out.

Mel Abraham [00:00:15]:
Do you really know what you want?

Mel Abraham [00:00:17]:
And think about that question. The fact is this, is that when we're looking at building a financially free life, when we're trying to live that.

Mel Abraham [00:00:28]:
Affluent life, the affluent entrepreneur life, it.

Mel Abraham [00:00:32]:
Has to do with money. Yes, but it has much more to do with your life. The richness in life. Remember, one of the core critical outcomes is a richer lifestyle, is to live richly into your life. And the way you do that is you live fully expressed. You live fully in alignment with your values and what you want out of life, with the vision that you create. And in this book and in our conversation today, we start to break down. Kayla starts to break down her recipe for getting richness into your life because you're in alignment, you're living fully, and you're very clear about what you're doing and stripping away the self sabotage and stripping away, you know, toxic positivity and those kinds of things.

Mel Abraham [00:01:14]:
So I hope that you enjoy this.

Mel Abraham [00:01:17]:
Episode of the Affluent Entrepreneur Show.

Mel Abraham [00:01:19]:
It's different. It's good. It's really good. Enjoy, Kayla, and I'll see you on the other side.

Mel Abraham [00:01:26]:
This is the Affluent Entrepreneur Show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth so you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect so you can scale your business, scale your money, and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom, because that's what it really means to be an athlete entrepreneur.

Mel Abraham [00:02:01]:
Oh, my God. So good to have you on here, Kayla. I mean, I actually have been on your show. We've done the intro, so they know that. But it's the first time that I brought you on, and I'm so happy to have you here because of some stuff that you got going on that's going to change people's lives.

Mel Abraham [00:02:20]:
So welcome to the show.

Cayla Craft  [00:02:22]:
I am so excited to be here on the Affluent Entrepreneur Show and have this conversation. I am pumped about this book and just what you're doing out there. I know that your audience is just full of action takers, and that's who I love to talk to.

Mel Abraham [00:02:38]:
Yes. So I want to talk about it because you've got a book coming out and we'll make sure that it's all hooked up right from the get go.

Mel Abraham [00:02:46]:
This is a book that is going.

Mel Abraham [00:02:50]:
To, as we go through it, you'll see it's going to change every aspect.

Mel Abraham [00:02:53]:
Of your life because it changes how you show up and it will shift your identity.

Mel Abraham [00:02:59]:
The title of the book is what do you really want? I mean, imagine that question, and I'm curious where the title and how that all came about because I think there's.

Mel Abraham [00:03:09]:
A whole lot of people that actually go through life not really knowing what they want.

Cayla Craft  [00:03:14]:
Well, what happens is I've been coaching people for twelve years and what I would find is I'd find out by asking people one question, and this is the first part in my take seven method I introduce in the book. And the number one question I ask is what's not working for you in your life? And a lot of people don't feel comfortable talking about that because of two things. We don't want to sound negative. We don't want to be the complainers. And so I have a rule about that. If you're going to state what's not working for you in your life, you have to be willing to do something about it. That's the difference between complaining and a complaint. And so starting off with that question and people would just list out some things in every area of their life and I'm like, are you willing to.

Cayla Craft  [00:04:04]:
Do something about it?

Cayla Craft  [00:04:06]:
And everybody says, yes, but I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do to get out of this current situation. I feel like kind of imprisoned to my life right now because you build it up, you get this certain dream life that you think you want, then you realize, I don't want it. And that was my story. So I became a nurse when I was 21 years old, and by the time I was 23, I realized I don't really like nursing. And I got into nursing for the wrong.

Mel Abraham [00:04:40]:
Sounds like me with accounting.

Cayla Craft  [00:04:42]:
Yeah.

Cayla Craft  [00:04:43]:
But for some reason I got into nursing because I grew up with a single mom and I was always wanting a stable job because she never had stable income. So I was like, what's the job that has a shortage? And it was nursing at the time. I think there's still a nursing shortage today.

Mel Abraham [00:05:04]:
Yeah.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:04]:
I go, okay, I'm going to be a nurse because I'll always have a job no matter. So that's not a good reason to pick a right. So, but you go through all this schooling and all this stuff, and I'm like, okay. I remember telling Chase, my husband, hey, I don't think I could do this for the rest of my life. I'm stressed out. I'm crying myself to sleep at night.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:25]:
Every night because just the overwhelming amount.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:30]:
Of guilt I felt every time I left the ER was slowly killing me, I think. So I was like, well, I got to make a move.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:38]:
And he was like, you're fine.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:41]:
My mom was a nurse for 40 years. You'll be fine. He was kind of like that. Anyway, so I got into network marketing and realized I really like this entrepreneur thing and I want to go full time in this. And I was able to create some success there.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:56]:
But I ended up giving up my.

Cayla Craft  [00:05:59]:
Nursing license, completely walking away from it, because for me, I needed to burn the ships and really move into the entrepreneur world and what I really wanted. And if I would have kept my license, I think when things got tough in my late twenty s, I probably would have gone back, which wasn't really the path for me. I needed to let it go and just go forward. A lot of people aren't willing to do that because they don't trust themselves. And I talk about that, too, in the book because a lot of us don't trust ourselves because we've gotten really bad at keeping commitments to ourselves, just even with the tiny things. And I know you talk about this, too, Mel, but that's how you build.

Cayla Craft  [00:06:40]:
Confidence, is you have to do the.

Cayla Craft  [00:06:43]:
Things that you said you were going to do. And when you start to do that, you start to build confidence up in yourself. You start to build trust in yourself and you realize, okay, I'm not happy with my current situation.

Cayla Craft  [00:06:57]:
I'm going to bet on me because.

Cayla Craft  [00:06:59]:
I know at the end of the day, if I'm following the true path for myself, it's going to work out.

Cayla Craft  [00:07:05]:
Because I'm going to do whatever it takes.

Mel Abraham [00:07:08]:
So this is so good because I.

Mel Abraham [00:07:11]:
Think it's so easy to fall into.

Mel Abraham [00:07:14]:
It because, look, to be an ER nurse first, to be a nurse in general is not an easy road, but to be an ER nurse and put you under that kind of pressure, that.

Mel Abraham [00:07:25]:
Kind of stress is even harder.

Mel Abraham [00:07:28]:
And it comes with a tremendous amount of expectations from society, from the workplace, from your community, from the people you work for. And I know this because even with.

Mel Abraham [00:07:46]:
Me, with the accounting, there was an.

Mel Abraham [00:07:50]:
Expectation of the path that I was.

Mel Abraham [00:07:52]:
Going to go and everything. And how many people don't have the courage to step back like you did and said, this might hurt for a little bit, but I think we got.

Mel Abraham [00:08:08]:
To burn the boats here because the decision is either it hurts for a.

Mel Abraham [00:08:16]:
Little bit now or it hurts for a long time, forever and everything.

Mel Abraham [00:08:23]:
Now, how long did you kind of vacillate the decision? How did you navigate that decision?

Mel Abraham [00:08:29]:
One and two, I kind of know.

Mel Abraham [00:08:33]:
Chase, but what was that conversation like.

Mel Abraham [00:08:37]:
When you came to him and say, honey, we make good money, but I'm out.

Cayla Craft  [00:08:43]:
Yeah, well, so I was smart about it, I have to say. And this was also chase too, because he's very realistic. I'm very optimistic. So what happened was I got involved in network marketing. And for those of you that don't know that, I was selling protein shakes online. This was back in 2011 and I was able to make multiple six figures. And so what I decided to do was, okay, I'm going to try a different avenue of nursing. So then I got into teaching at.

Cayla Craft  [00:09:15]:
The college and I go, okay, I like this.

Cayla Craft  [00:09:20]:
But it's also not giving me the time freedom that network marketing can give me. Then I went to work for an eye doctor where I worked at 430 in the morning to 1030 in the morning.

Mel Abraham [00:09:30]:
No way.

Mel Abraham [00:09:30]:
I didn't know this.

Cayla Craft  [00:09:31]:
Yeah.

Cayla Craft  [00:09:32]:
And at the time, this is what's crazy. In my network marketing business, I was making about $750,000 a year in my network marketing business. Still getting up at 330 to go work as a nurse because my identity was so rooted in I'm a nurse and this helps me just have that thing to fall back on. And then I got pregnant with my.

Cayla Craft  [00:09:58]:
Third baby and this was the deciding factor.

Cayla Craft  [00:10:02]:
I didn't want to leave him when I was going to have him. And so I remember going and telling the eye doctor that I worked for at the time and he goes, okay, I've been wondering why you keep working for me. Anyway, I'd pull up to work in my g wagons and he's like, I always wondered why you kept working here. And so he was like, good luck. We're excited for you. And then that was when I just completely walked away from it. But I did have that nest egg built up. We had already started investing in real estate at the time.

Cayla Craft  [00:10:33]:
And so I think a lot of people will burn the ships too quickly, right? They'll kind of go, okay, I have credit card debt, I have $0 in the bank.

Cayla Craft  [00:10:43]:
And then it's like, too desperate.

Mel Abraham [00:10:45]:
Well, and I think that you bring up a really good point. And those of you that are watching, listen, I want you to hear this.

Mel Abraham [00:10:51]:
There is a difference between being committed and being reckless. You have two kids and one on the way.

Mel Abraham [00:11:02]:
And so reckless would have been, I got nothing. But I don't like this.

Mel Abraham [00:11:07]:
I'm out.

Mel Abraham [00:11:09]:
And you can say you're committed all day long, but you should be committed.

Mel Abraham [00:11:13]:
If you do that.

Mel Abraham [00:11:14]:
But the reality is that you came up with a plan, and I think that many of you that might be.

Mel Abraham [00:11:20]:
Listening are sitting back and saying, if.

Mel Abraham [00:11:22]:
I really answer the question, what do I really want? It may not be what I'm doing.

Mel Abraham [00:11:29]:
Now, which means that it's going to.

Mel Abraham [00:11:31]:
Require a change, which means it's going to require me to do something different, which means I'm going to have to have difficult conversations with myself and with others.

Mel Abraham [00:11:38]:
But it also means that you have.

Mel Abraham [00:11:40]:
To put a plan in place, that you have to put something in place to be smart about a transition so you can be committed to a transition and not reckless in transition.

Cayla Craft  [00:11:50]:
I love the way that you put that, Mel, because you've probably seen this big popular quote.

Cayla Craft  [00:11:56]:
It's you're one decision away from a completely different life. You're laughing because we all know it's a million decisions that are going to help you build your dream life. And that's why step seven in the book is about what's your next best.

Cayla Craft  [00:12:11]:
Step, because it's 1ft in front of.

Cayla Craft  [00:12:14]:
The other and you got to take.

Cayla Craft  [00:12:15]:
It day by day and it eventually.

Cayla Craft  [00:12:18]:
Will get you to where you want to go. But it doesn't happen overnight. And I think more of us need to be having this conversation, this real conversation, that it's not one decision and it's going to be hard. You're going to have to, like you said, have those tough conversations with people and face the music of what you really want. Will it be worth it? Absolutely.

Mel Abraham [00:12:43]:
Because you coach, I coach, I mentor.

Mel Abraham [00:12:46]:
And I'll have clients that say I.

Mel Abraham [00:12:49]:
Don'T make the wrong decision.

Mel Abraham [00:12:50]:
I said, oh, I said, decisions aren't black and white. In fact, decisions don't set a path.

Mel Abraham [00:12:58]:
It's the pattern of decisions that set the path.

Mel Abraham [00:13:01]:
It's just a dot on a line.

Mel Abraham [00:13:03]:
And so the reason we make the.

Mel Abraham [00:13:05]:
Decision is to get more information and make a better decision and not to.

Mel Abraham [00:13:11]:
Set everything in stone because you're here with this book.

Mel Abraham [00:13:15]:
But like you said, if we look backwards, there's a million decisions that got you here and set things in motion. And as you got more information, you shifted.

Mel Abraham [00:13:26]:
Because I've watched, even in the relatively short time that we've known each other. I've watched you transform to transition, to grow to be bigger, to be more, to give more, to do things more.

Mel Abraham [00:13:40]:
I mean, you called me out of.

Mel Abraham [00:13:43]:
The blue one time just to speak.

Mel Abraham [00:13:45]:
To your mastermind, but you've gone way beyond that mastermind now.

Mel Abraham [00:13:52]:
And a lot of this book, the take seven framework and everything, and these questions, these really came from.

Mel Abraham [00:14:02]:
Your years and years of working with your clients and coaching.

Cayla Craft  [00:14:09]:
When I was in network marketing, I look and say, how did I have such a successful team? Because I would do one on one coaching sessions with all of my leaders. And at one point we had, I think there were like 25 people on my team making six figures and a few millionaires on my team. So I had really highly successful people. We had an organization of 90,000 people, so we were constantly coaching people to success. And when I decided to transition out of that, I said, what did I.

Cayla Craft  [00:14:38]:
Do to help all of those people.

Cayla Craft  [00:14:41]:
Not only be successful in their career in network marketing, but they had stronger marriages, they were healthy. There was something I did, and so I reverse engineered the process, found out what I'm really good at is asking questions. And there was a theme with the type of questions I asked. And so that's how I created my take seven coaching method. And I started to use that about six years ago in different coaching memberships I had. And it works for every single person. It works for male or female. No matter what situation you're in, there's always something that's not working for you in your life.

Cayla Craft  [00:15:19]:
So when you start there, you can start to get better results in every area. So, yeah, I love coaching people. I love seeing transformation. And what I love is that this takes seven.

Cayla Craft  [00:15:33]:
It doesn't take a coach.

Cayla Craft  [00:15:34]:
You don't have to sit on the other side of a coach and ask this. You can do this with yourself in a journal. And I'm always for having coaches, but there are sometimes where you just need to be able to coach yourself through things.

Mel Abraham [00:15:49]:
Yeah.

Mel Abraham [00:15:50]:
Let me ask more of a general question in your eyes, and that is.

Mel Abraham [00:15:55]:
Why are questions so powerful?

Cayla Craft  [00:15:59]:
Well, because our mind loves to have the answer. Our mind loves to be the smartest person in the room.

Cayla Craft  [00:16:06]:
Okay.

Cayla Craft  [00:16:07]:
So when we hear questions, our mind searches. It's like it goes for a treasure hunt over and like, what's the treasure over here? So it's gamified and we have to answer it. And what I found with some people, they would answer, I don't know. And so I would create a rule that you cannot say, I don't know. Tekla, you cannot say I don't know because your mind does have an answer and you're just judging yourself and you don't want to really share the answer. And so women would go, okay, yeah, they'd say what it is that really wasn't working for them, and then we'd.

Cayla Craft  [00:16:43]:
Get to know through the rest of.

Cayla Craft  [00:16:46]:
It because they realize it's safe to answer and it's safe to not know everything about it. But, okay, if I just have a little piece of information, we can work with that.

Mel Abraham [00:16:58]:
So do me a favor. You have the book there. Can you hold it up just so those that are watching can see it? Because I think it's so cool. We're talking about questions. Can you imagine?

Mel Abraham [00:17:07]:
Y'all are walking through the airport and.

Mel Abraham [00:17:09]:
They'Re in Hudson is this book that.

Mel Abraham [00:17:11]:
Says, what do you really want? And you just walk by.

Mel Abraham [00:17:14]:
It's, they're going to buy it and.

Mel Abraham [00:17:18]:
It'S going to be in your mind. I got to answer that question, but I'm not sure how to answer that question. And you're going to go back and you're going to buy the book because I said I got to figure out how to answer that question. But the power of just the title being a question in is there. And that's why I wanted to ask the question of how you see the power of questions, because the book is.

Mel Abraham [00:17:37]:
Built on a framework of seven questions.

Cayla Craft  [00:17:41]:
Well, so we ask ourselves questions all the time. Most of the time, we ask ourselves questions that are disempowering. So we will say things like, why.

Cayla Craft  [00:17:53]:
Is this happening to me?

Cayla Craft  [00:17:55]:
First of all, a why question is the worst kind of question to ask yourself. Because our mind, that's the one where our mind goes, I don't know. I don't know.

Cayla Craft  [00:18:04]:
So take why out.

Cayla Craft  [00:18:07]:
It should start with a what, usually, or a who. And I realize my life is built up because I've asked myself really good questions, or I've put people in my life that ask me really good questions of, remember, we have mutual friends, Chris Harder. And I remember I was going on a walk with him and his wife, Lori one time, and they were asking questions like, okay, who do you need to meet in order to make your dreams come true?

Mel Abraham [00:18:41]:
I've been on some of them walks.

Cayla Craft  [00:18:42]:
With, you know, and so you're like, oh, gosh, that's a really great question. I haven't thought about that. I've been just sitting over here thinking, why aren't people calling me? And it's like, again, not a powerful question. And so you start to really want to find the answer. And even if you don't have the answer immediately, okay. It's kind of playing on a loop in your mind, and eventually the idea or the person will be dropped into your lap if you're open and looking for signs of receiving it. So it's important to ask yourself the right questions and be at the right tables.

Mel Abraham [00:19:19]:
Yeah.

Mel Abraham [00:19:21]:
And to have people that are willing to ask the questions of you and try to get you to mind the.

Mel Abraham [00:19:29]:
Questions you should be asking.

Cayla Craft  [00:19:31]:
Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Cayla Craft  [00:19:33]:
I had a coach, my first business coach that I ever hired, and I don't remember when.

Cayla Craft  [00:19:38]:
This was in my late twenty s.

Cayla Craft  [00:19:42]:
And he was really good at asking questions, too. He's here in Orange county and he asked me about my inner child. He's like, oh, what version of you, something like that. What version of you is showing up?

Cayla Craft  [00:19:55]:
And I talk about that in the book.

Cayla Craft  [00:19:57]:
I'm like, what are you talking about, Matthew? What are you talking about? He's like, oh, I feel like it's your two year old self showing up right now that's having this issue that you're dealing with in your life. And I'm like, how do you know? And then I started to think about, well, what was going on with me when I was two. And I realized, oh, there was a lot of trauma happening in my house. And that's when I decided that I was probably going to be a control freak for most of my. So that, you know, having a business coach like that, that asked me powerful questions all the time.

Cayla Craft  [00:20:33]:
He also said something to me.

Cayla Craft  [00:20:35]:
He goes, Kayla, you're like a bulldozer. You just bulldoze over everybody to get what you want in your life. And don't you want to be a Ferrari? And I was like, well, yeah, I want to be a Ferrari. I don't want to be a bulldozer. That was another powerful question.

Mel Abraham [00:20:53]:
In the.

Mel Abraham [00:20:54]:
Book you talk about, and this is.

Mel Abraham [00:20:57]:
A buzz term that we hear a lot right now, and that's why I'm picking up on it, about toxic positivity.

Cayla Craft  [00:21:05]:
Yes.

Mel Abraham [00:21:06]:
And what is that? What that looks like? How do we get beyond it and everything? It's such a, I don't know, hot topic right now that I want to just kind of bring that out because this book really starts to dig into this well.

Cayla Craft  [00:21:25]:
So it's actually like in one of the first chapters, we talk about this because people, what I've seen, especially in the personal development world, you ask the question what's not working for you? And they will skate around it and they will not answer it because they do not want to be the person.

Cayla Craft  [00:21:40]:
That sounds like they're complaining or they.

Cayla Craft  [00:21:44]:
Don'T want to manifest it. Like, oh, if I say what's not working, I'm going to get more of it. And I'm not making fun of manifesto. I'm just saying we can say we can come from an empowered state, and we can state what's not working for us. And again, are you willing to do something about it? Don't talk about it if you're not willing to do something about it. But we have to really face our emotions. When something unfortunate happens in our life or in our businesses, we need to feel the feelings around it instead of just automatically going to the coping mechanism.

Cayla Craft  [00:22:21]:
Of what's the positive thing we can.

Cayla Craft  [00:22:24]:
Find here, because then what we're doing is we're suppressing our emotions and suppressing leads to depressing, which can cause depression. Right? And so I talk about this like, feelings are feedback. So if you're upset about a situation, let's say recently, I had a situation with a friend that was upsetting to me. She did something that hurt my feelings. And instead of going, oh, straight to.

Cayla Craft  [00:22:53]:
How can I be happy about this? I go, okay, what part of me is so upset right now?

Cayla Craft  [00:22:59]:
And I realized the part of me that was made fun of as a kid, when I was younger, I didn't fit in into crowds. My dad was in jail, and I was always so scared that people would.

Cayla Craft  [00:23:16]:
Find that out because I thought they.

Cayla Craft  [00:23:18]:
Would think I was a bad person if they knew that about my dad. And so I just really stuck to myself, and people made fun of me for that. And so when my friend did this thing, it made me feel rejected. And so little seven year old Kayla is coming up, and she's, like, upset. And what I realized I needed in that moment was to nurture seven year old little Kayla just in my mind and just say, hey, you're loved, you're adored. You have really great people around you. You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea, and you're not going to be invited to everything.

Cayla Craft  [00:23:50]:
And that's okay, because you've come to.

Cayla Craft  [00:23:53]:
This place in your life at 36 years old, where you've created your own.

Cayla Craft  [00:23:57]:
Table and you invite people in to your life.

Cayla Craft  [00:24:00]:
And so it was this just really powerful moment I was able to have with myself, where I let myself feel the feelings. And what I realized, you know, that was just a little rejection. And it just means that I like to be included, which, what can I do right now? I could love on little Kayla, show her that she is included, that she does have really good friends around her. That person that did that might not be the best know, and that's okay. And we were able to move through it quickly, but I didn't just bypass the feeling that I was having.

Mel Abraham [00:24:32]:
So, interesting you say this.

Mel Abraham [00:24:35]:
When I got diagnosed with the cancer, I started off in denial. So I got diagnosed on a Friday. All of Friday, I was in denial, denial, denial. All of Saturday, both Stephanie and I.

Mel Abraham [00:24:54]:
Ended up in the emotions of what was really.

Mel Abraham [00:24:57]:
We cried all day, and we needed that, because on Sunday, when we woke up, we were able to look at it and go, this is real. This is where we're at. And I can wallow in it, or I can find a solution.

Mel Abraham [00:25:15]:
And that's when we kind of looked.

Mel Abraham [00:25:18]:
At and say, okay, so what's ahead of us?

Mel Abraham [00:25:21]:
What do we need to do?

Mel Abraham [00:25:22]:
And how do we prepare to.

Cayla Craft  [00:25:26]:
In.

Mel Abraham [00:25:26]:
This case, the biggest battle of my life, for my life, it's the same kind of thing. Because I think that when things don't.

Mel Abraham [00:25:35]:
Go the way we want, sometimes we.

Mel Abraham [00:25:38]:
Start beating ourselves up. We start asking wrong questions. See, I'm not good enough. And all the things. A launch goes wrong, something goes wrong.

Mel Abraham [00:25:47]:
And you go, see, and we end up allowing it to define us.

Mel Abraham [00:25:54]:
And that's where I think the mistake is. And what you're telling people to do, I love this. Is that it's okay to feel it.

Mel Abraham [00:26:01]:
It's not okay to live there.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:06]:
Well, your emotions or feelings are feedback, and they will tell you more about what's important to you. And so when we could just pay attention to them and say, our emotions don't define us. Our emotions are not a part of our identity. They are just something that make up the human experience. And so when we're able to disassociate ourselves from that emotion, I might be angry in this moment, but I'm not an angry person. That's a very real thing.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:37]:
Okay, well, with your cancer diagnosis, you're.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:42]:
Going through a grieving process because you're.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:45]:
Facing death in that moment. And so everything that is important to.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:51]:
You in your life all of a.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:52]:
Sudden is very magnified, and that's probably.

Cayla Craft  [00:26:56]:
A very healthy and good thing, because you realize, wow, I have such a rich life.

Cayla Craft  [00:27:01]:
I don't want to lose. And you live your life differently, Mel.

Cayla Craft  [00:27:09]:
From that moment, you've completely shifted, and you've created a whole impact. You're all about impacting people. Every single person you come into contact with leaves better than before. And you're always a very present person, too. And I don't know you before your cancer diagnosis, but things like that, they change you and shift you forever. And so I think you were able to feel your emotions. It's so powerful. More people need to go, okay.

Cayla Craft  [00:27:38]:
I forget who talks about it, but they say, it's a five minute funeral. I'm going to be sad for the moment, and I'm going to grieve over it, but I've got to go move on to the next thing after that, because I can experience emotions, but my emotions are not going to own me.

Mel Abraham [00:27:54]:
Yeah. Those in the audience are listening.

Mel Abraham [00:28:01]:
We talk about affluence, and affluence is really about living a richer life.

Mel Abraham [00:28:06]:
Richer is not necessarily the bank account.

Mel Abraham [00:28:11]:
It is how we experience life. It's how we feel about life. It's who we experience it with.

Mel Abraham [00:28:16]:
It's the richness in life. And what you're doing is literally giving them the recipe to allowing that richness.

Mel Abraham [00:28:28]:
To come into their just. And it hits me so much because Bronnie Ware wrote that book, seven regrets of dying.

Cayla Craft  [00:28:37]:
I need to read that.

Mel Abraham [00:28:38]:
Oh, my God. She's a hospice.

Cayla Craft  [00:28:42]:
And.

Mel Abraham [00:28:43]:
And one of the biggest regrets, here's.

Mel Abraham [00:28:45]:
This woman who's with people in their last days, in their last moments, and.

Mel Abraham [00:28:51]:
She said, one of the biggest regrets.

Mel Abraham [00:28:53]:
They have is the fact they look.

Mel Abraham [00:28:55]:
Back on their life and they realize.

Mel Abraham [00:28:57]:
They didn't live their life. And it's like, how often do we not do that?

Mel Abraham [00:29:06]:
And I think the richness comes from the fact that by the time that we get our toes on that line.

Mel Abraham [00:29:13]:
And we're ready to say, all right, I'm done, you are sweaty, you are.

Mel Abraham [00:29:17]:
Dirty, you are tired. You look back at all the people.

Mel Abraham [00:29:20]:
You shared life with, and you go, I did all right. And I did good.

Mel Abraham [00:29:29]:
The book, because you hit with the toxic positivity. You hit on how to eliminate and get past self sabotage. And there's just so much in here that I think can drag us down from the richness of life. And what you're doing is saying, here's.

Mel Abraham [00:29:46]:
The recipe to clean this up, to.

Mel Abraham [00:29:48]:
Take control, whether it's your relationships, your health, your money, how you experience parenting.

Mel Abraham [00:29:55]:
Grandparenting, all of it that allows people.

Mel Abraham [00:29:58]:
To sit back and say, I want.

Mel Abraham [00:29:59]:
To live a rich life.

Cayla Craft  [00:30:00]:
My tagline on my podcast has been, when you follow your purpose, the riches always follow. And so I love that. That's what affluence means, because riches are.

Cayla Craft  [00:30:13]:
Like, we could have so much money.

Cayla Craft  [00:30:14]:
In the bank account, but if we don't have good friendships, if we do not have health, we're not really experiencing the riches of life. And so I want every single person to be able to experience that. And you can only get there if you're willing to do the work. Everybody wants strategy, okay, but tell me how to have my dream life. Tell me how to get what I want. And it's like, okay, but are you willing to go and work on some of the wounds that you have? Because a lot of us, if we answer the question right now, what do you really want? A lot of us will answer from.

Cayla Craft  [00:30:53]:
A place of a wound, just like.

Cayla Craft  [00:30:56]:
Okay, at 18 years old, what do you want, Kayla? I want to be a nurse because I need a staple job. I was like, what?

Cayla Craft  [00:31:02]:
Okay.

Cayla Craft  [00:31:03]:
And then even becoming an entrepreneur, I did it for the wrong reasons, too. It's because, well, ooh, I want to have more money than I ever thought possible because I didn't have any money as a kid. Again, another wrong reason. But I don't shame myself over that. It's just like, okay. It all brought me to this place. And when you know better, you do better. And that's the beauty of life, is that we'll try things and they don't work out, and we'll do things for the wrong reason, but we'll learn along the way.

Mel Abraham [00:31:35]:
How does this fit into. Because I was speaking at a conference. I was closing keynote at a conference, and I made this statement to him. I said too often, we plan our.

Mel Abraham [00:31:46]:
Future from our past, but we need.

Mel Abraham [00:31:50]:
To plan our future from our future. We need to define what it is meant to be, at least as we envision it, not with the filter of, I don't know how.

Mel Abraham [00:32:02]:
I don't know what to do.

Mel Abraham [00:32:04]:
I don't know who yet that will come.

Mel Abraham [00:32:07]:
But when we plan from the past.

Mel Abraham [00:32:09]:
The circumstances is another way to say it.

Mel Abraham [00:32:12]:
I need to get.

Mel Abraham [00:32:13]:
Like you said, I want to go into entrepreneurship because I got to make money, because I grew up without money.

Mel Abraham [00:32:17]:
You're coming from the past, right. But I watch. Know I lurk. I watch you.

Mel Abraham [00:32:25]:
Not in a creepy way, but you and chase and the kids and how.

Mel Abraham [00:32:29]:
You live as a family, as a unit. And it's clear that what you do.

Mel Abraham [00:32:40]:
Today is coming from your future and.

Mel Abraham [00:32:42]:
Not your past anymore.

Cayla Craft  [00:32:44]:
Yeah.

Mel Abraham [00:32:45]:
And I think it's huge. Here's a question. I know that we'll start to get this closed down. We'll make sure you know how to get this book and get everything that Kayla's got to offer.

Mel Abraham [00:32:58]:
But let's say that there's someone who's in a bad place right now.

Mel Abraham [00:33:05]:
And they. Because you'll hear it all here. Great, Mel.

Mel Abraham [00:33:10]:
Great.

Mel Abraham [00:33:10]:
Kayla.

Mel Abraham [00:33:11]:
Yeah.

Mel Abraham [00:33:11]:
It's easy for you to say, look at where you're y'all.

Mel Abraham [00:33:16]:
Just so you know, it wasn't a.

Mel Abraham [00:33:18]:
Straight line for either one of have we have had our faceplants, our skin knees, our stub toes all along the.

Mel Abraham [00:33:27]:
Way, but in order to break that.

Mel Abraham [00:33:29]:
Cycle all of a sudden, to get.

Mel Abraham [00:33:30]:
The attention and say, start to stand.

Mel Abraham [00:33:34]:
Up, what might be that first step? What might be that first thing that they all need to start to think about or do or the question or the act they should take, because contemplation doesn't get us there.

Mel Abraham [00:33:48]:
Action does.

Cayla Craft  [00:33:50]:
So I think it's really important to understand when we started accepting the bad standards. So when did we start accepting the rock bottom? Like, when did we start accepting living paycheck to paycheck? When did we start accepting being in toxic friendships or relationships? There's a part of us that said, I'm only worthy of this, and that's actually what we need to do first.

Cayla Craft  [00:34:17]:
Is say, okay, I've got to change.

Cayla Craft  [00:34:21]:
My beliefs, because beliefs shape our identity. And so I've got to start changing my beliefs around the standards I accept.

Cayla Craft  [00:34:29]:
In my life, because we can go around and around and around.

Cayla Craft  [00:34:35]:
But there is the psychology of change, and if your beliefs do not match the new identity you're trying to create, you will never have that new identity.

Cayla Craft  [00:34:44]:
Okay?

Cayla Craft  [00:34:44]:
So we have to create new beliefs. So if I'm somebody living paycheck to paycheck, okay, I am somebody who is worthy of overflow. I am somebody who is resourceful, who can make money from all of my wisdom, experience, and network. I am somebody who can make money from nothing. You could just start creating new beliefs.

Cayla Craft  [00:35:11]:
That really step into, hey, I would.

Cayla Craft  [00:35:13]:
Like to have a cash flow machine where I'm making money on the regular, like, on a daily basis. Like, I make money daily in multiple different ways. Mel, I know you have all your levers, too, that you put on, okay? And that makes me feel safe, and that is the standard I have set for myself. And that comes from when I was in network marketing. I got paid once a month, and that's very stressful because it's just stressful. I'm like, okay, I'm not accepting that standard.

Cayla Craft  [00:35:44]:
So I got to go create new.

Cayla Craft  [00:35:45]:
Income streams for myself. And so you start to take action towards that. But you have to believe you're somebody.

Cayla Craft  [00:35:51]:
That'S worthy of receiving that amount of money, okay?

Cayla Craft  [00:35:56]:
And I just truly believe that we're here on earth to live out happiness. We're here to help people. We're here to experience a lot of joy. And that is a true core belief I have.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:14]:
And so I know that money is needed for that.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:18]:
So I just know, oh, well, I'm not ever going to have to struggle with money, because these are the truths of my life. And so it's always just going to happen, period. End of story. I don't fight with that, and a lot of people fight too much with it.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:30]:
Oh.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:30]:
But I don't work hard enough, but I don't know enough.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:32]:
But create a new belief.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:35]:
Create a new belief and then start walking in that new belief.

Cayla Craft  [00:36:38]:
Okay?

Cayla Craft  [00:36:38]:
If I'm somebody that believes I'm resourceful, what would a resourceful person do in my current situation? Man, you could go listen to a podcast. Go turn on Mel's. While you're listening to Mel's podcast, go listen to the crafted Entrepreneur podcast. Go listen to the guy Raz show that talks about how all these different companies are built, and then go getting some ideas and start taking action on know.

Cayla Craft  [00:37:05]:
So I think that we were able.

Cayla Craft  [00:37:10]:
To walk into a new identity when we protect the new identity we're creating, Mel. And a lot of people do not protect what they're creating enough. They consume news. They watch too much Netflix. They hang out with toxic people. They scroll too much on social media. And if you could just take all that out and guard what you're creating.

Cayla Craft  [00:37:34]:
With all your might, just like you would protect a newborn baby, that's how.

Cayla Craft  [00:37:39]:
You should protect your new life, you.

Cayla Craft  [00:37:41]:
Will start getting results faster.

Mel Abraham [00:37:44]:
I love this because I truly believe, and I totally agree with you. I think that.

Mel Abraham [00:37:50]:
We all have a gift that's unique. We've been given it. We need to nurture it. We need to then give it to the world. That's what I believe we're here to do.

Mel Abraham [00:38:03]:
We may not know what that gift.

Mel Abraham [00:38:05]:
Is yet, and it is through these.

Mel Abraham [00:38:07]:
Trials and this growth that allow us to see clear of what the gift.

Mel Abraham [00:38:12]:
Is so we can give it to the world. And when we choose, and I think.

Mel Abraham [00:38:16]:
It is a choice to shrink down, to allow the circumstances to dictate the limits.

Mel Abraham [00:38:24]:
We never understand what we're capable of being and doing to the fullest. But more importantly, we rescind the gift to the world that we were meant to give.

Mel Abraham [00:38:37]:
And I think that's the sad part.

Mel Abraham [00:38:39]:
Whether it's to your children, to your.

Mel Abraham [00:38:42]:
Grandchildren, to society, to community, to a.

Mel Abraham [00:38:45]:
Cause, someone, something needs us to show up fully and fully expressed. And this book is kind of the.

Mel Abraham [00:38:58]:
Recipe, the action plan, because it isn't just something where you're going to read and contemplate and meditate on. You are going to take action on it.

Mel Abraham [00:39:06]:
You're going to do it.

Mel Abraham [00:39:08]:
And it may be unnatural at the beginning because you've never asked these questions, because you've never been through it, but it'll become part of your being. It'll become part of your identity as you start to navigate it.

Cayla Craft  [00:39:19]:
Exactly.

Mel Abraham [00:39:20]:
I just think that this is going to change a whole lot of lives. Kayla, I am so glad you wrote it. I'm so glad that you're here. I'm so glad that we're getting a chance to share it.

Mel Abraham [00:39:28]:
Let's let people know one first where.

Mel Abraham [00:39:31]:
We can get the book.

Mel Abraham [00:39:35]:
And also.

Mel Abraham [00:39:36]:
Where they can follow everything that you're doing so they can get into your circle. And we'll make sure we all hook it up into the description and the.

Mel Abraham [00:39:44]:
Show notes and all this stuff.

Cayla Craft  [00:39:46]:
Awesome.

Cayla Craft  [00:39:47]:
Okay. I know everybody wants to order the book, right? But if you go to craftedoffer.com right now, you can actually order a book on there. And it's really awesome because I'm giving everybody access to a course that I created to go along with the book called what do you really want? So it'll take you through each question. It's going to be really helpful, just as you see me coach it, and you'll get access to live coaching as well. So that's completely free when you buy the book. So if you go to craftedoffer.com, you'll be able to check it out. And I'm hoping that we're just going to make a community and a movement around a lot of people going after what they really want. And you're spot on when you said we're supposed to give our gift out to the world, your gift could be somebody else's blessing that helps them get what they want.

Cayla Craft  [00:40:42]:
And so you got to feel that obligation to show up and actually answer these questions and start living out your fullest potential.

Mel Abraham [00:40:51]:
So good. I think one last thing just kind of came to mind is to make.

Mel Abraham [00:40:55]:
It really clear that when you do that, this is not a zero sum game.

Mel Abraham [00:41:02]:
Everyone wins.

Mel Abraham [00:41:04]:
Yeah, everyone wins.

Mel Abraham [00:41:07]:
It's not taking from someone else. You show up fully, someone else shows up fully and you give permission for other people to show up fully, it is a win win all around. And everyone improves. And Lord knows, our society, our world.

Mel Abraham [00:41:23]:
Our communities need this right now.

Cayla Craft  [00:41:26]:
Absolutely, Kayla.

Mel Abraham [00:41:28]:
I can't wait to see this rocket to the charts. But more importantly, to be in people's lives and change their lives, because the.

Mel Abraham [00:41:38]:
Ripple effect of what it's going to do is that it's not just the person that read it, it is all.

Mel Abraham [00:41:45]:
The people they touch beyond that that will be affected and positive way with it. So thank you for writing it. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being on this journey and a friend in my life. I feel blessed to call you a friend on this journey.

Cayla Craft  [00:42:00]:
Thank you, Mel. It's so amazing. I appreciate you so much for having me on. And thank you, everybody, for listening in.

Mel Abraham [00:42:06]:
Thank you for listening to the Affluent Entrepreneur Show. With me, your host, Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the affluent entrepreneur facebook group now by going to melabraham.com/group, and I'll see you there.