Listen To This If You Want To Live a RICH Life - Real Talk With Jimmy Rex

Ready to redefine richness beyond money? Join me and Jimmy Rex as we explore fulfillment over wealth. From vulnerability to transformative exercises, we delve into the heart of true richness. Tune in for real talk on creating a happier, purposeful life.

IN TODAY’S EPISODE, I DISCUSS: 

-The transformative "step in the circle" exercise that initiates genuine connections

-The journey of overcoming shame and guilt to embrace compassion and self-love

-How our past mistakes and vulnerabilities pave the way for growth and a supportive community

CONNECT WITH JIMMY REX:
Get to know more about Jimmy Rex: https://www.mrjimmyrex.com/ 

Get his book, You End Up Where You’re Heading: https://whereyouareheading.com/book

RECOMMENDED EPISODES FOR YOU 

If you liked this episode, you'll love these ones:

• Investment Taxes…What You Need to Know
• Doing Nothing with Your Money Isn't An Option!
• Q&A Why Taking a 401K Loan Can Destroy Your Wealth 

RECOMMENDED VIDEOS FOR YOU 

If you liked this video, you'll love these ones:

• Investment Taxes…What You Need to Know: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I2VnoVMlUo 
• Doing Nothing with Your Money Isn't An Option! :https://youtu.be/vlM4dVTh15Q  
• Q&A Why Taking a 401K Loan Can Destroy Your Wealth: https://youtu.be/fuasu0zN3to 

PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK:

Building Your Money Machine: How to Get Your Money to Work Harder For You Than You Did For It! 

The key to building the life you desire and deserve is to build your Money Machine—a powerful system designed to generate income that’s no longer tied to your work or efforts. This step-by-step guide goes beyond the general idea of personal finance and wealth creation and reveals the holistic approach to transforming your relationship with money to allow you to enjoy financial freedom and peace of mind.

TAKE THE FINANCIAL FREEDOM QUIZ:

Take this free quiz to see where you are on the path to financial freedom and what your next steps are to move you to a new financial destiny at http://www.YourFinancialFreedomQuiz.com  

OTHER RESOURCES:

7-Day Money Plan Workshop: https://www.TheMoneyPlanWorkshop.com

CONNECT WITH ME:

Website: MelAbraham.com

YouTube: MelAbraham.com/tube

Instagram (@melabraham9): MelAbraham.com/ig

Facebook Group: MelAbraham.com/group/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@melhabraham

Transcript

2:06

Interesting journey together. Absolutely. Thanks for having me, Mel. I'm honored. Yeah, so this is cool. As you all heard in the intro, Jimmy's doing some really cool stuff. I think that it's really needed in our world today, given everything that's gone on. And he's doing a lot of service. But I want to start. I want to go backwards a little bit. I want to get back to. Who's Jimmy Rex? Why is Jimmy doing what he's doing today? He's successful. He's doing well, but yet you turned and pivoted at some point in time. So for those that don't know you from my audience that don't know who Jimmy Rex is, let's go back and talk a little bit about who Jimmy is, and we'll move up to the journey that you're on and the mission that you are serving today. Yeah, I mean, I got into. You know, I got into real estate in 2005, and it was the perfect time to get in. I had a couple of years to learn everything before it got really difficult. And when that market tanked, you know, I mean, I. Leading up to that, I sold 98 homes my first full year in the business as a realtor with one assistant. I thought I was God's gift of real estate. And the market fell apart, and I realized very quickly I was a product of the system. And, you know, it became brutally tough, Mel. And. But, you know, I was able to push through that and becoming, you know, the top agent in my area and one of the top agents in the country. And for the next decade, that's what I did. I just grinded. I built my business real estate. I did a lot of investing and things like that. I got to a point where, you know, about four. Four and a half years ago, I sold the. The most expensive home ever in Utah, 32 and a half million dollars. You know, about 20 minutes of work into this deal and made over, I mean, close to seven figures. And so to kind of paint a picture for you and in that moment, you think that, you know, there's this huge, triumphant experience, but it's just not what happened. And I was even. I was a little satiated to the experience. It was just kind of like, okay, whatever. And I really caused me to look inward and go, you know, what? Where do I. You know, there was also. There was a realtor that passed away about that same time he got murdered, collected his rent at a fourplex in town. And I just. You know, that experience happened. And I said to myself, you know, if I died tomorrow. And all I was known as is a realtor. Like, I love being a realtor, and it's, like a beautiful, you know, profession, but, like, I'd be sad. That's all I. And part of this, too, is you gotta understand, I've been on a 15 year journey where I kind of had this experience when I was a kid where I didn't feel like I was good enough. And so I was on this journey to become something, to prove that I was worthy of love, that I was, you know, enough. And in that, I went to every seminar, every conference, every mastermind. I joined the coaching programs, I hired coaches like yourself. I read hundreds of books, and it really became the gift of my life that I felt that way, because in that, I just was always trying to become a better version of myself. And so when I had that experience one, two years ago, I sold that house, and I was doing a meditation, and I realized that, like, I needed to do something more impactful, something that could just affect the world in a different way. And I started playing with it. It didn't come to me right away, to be honest. A couple of years, and about two years later, it was very clear to me. I had written a book called you end up where you're heading the hidden dangers of living a safe life. I started my podcast that now has over 500 episodes. And in that, I was, you know, I was attracting an audience. I travel a lot, so I've been to over 105 countries. And so I had a lot of people following me on Instagram. And the same two things guys kept asking me on Instagram, they kept saying, number one was, where do I find a group of friends like you have? And the second one was, I feel like I'm stuck in life. How do I get out of this spot and go start living again? And I started thinking about it. You know, you kind of. You probably experienced this a little bit, but you kind of feel like an imposter when you think about being a coach. It's like, who am I to tell other people how to live? You know? I got plenty of problems on my own. Ain't that the truth? Yeah, but, you know, the one thing that kept coming back to me is I said, but all of my best friends, and, I mean, for better or worse, I'm in my forties. I'm dating somebody right now, but I've never been married. And. And I. You know, in that, the gift of that is because I always put my friends first. I always valued my friendships, and I put those ahead of even my own relationship. And because of that, I really did feel like I had greatest friendships. I mean, I really have so many amazing, deep friendships that have a lot of connection, and they're just very deep. And. And I started thinking to myself, wait, wait. Like, that is the thing, that I'm the best in the world. I know how to help men connect on a deep level. And so I started kind of playing with that idea. What is it about my friendships that makes them so special? I started to kind of map it out and go, wait, this is when this happened. This is when we went deeper. When this happened, we went deeper. And in that exploration, I was able to kind of draft what became what is now my men's coaching program, which is called we are the day. And the whole purpose of this, it's basically a movement to help men become a better version of themselves. You know, to be able to become vulnerable, authentic, and in integrity and be able to have a tribe and a community where we can go to support each other and really just help each other become a better version of ourselves. So these last two years, I launched my program two years ago, a little over two years ago, and it's been incredible. We have almost 500 members in the community now and really help each other do these things and kind of go through the journey that I went through to get to this spot. It's so cool to hear you say that because I think that we kind of come from a similar background, similar cloth. The level of loyalty that we have to our friends is huge. The desire to give, the desire to serve is huge. And I got introduced to you by a dear friend of both of ours who has got a huge, huge heart, Ed Milette and everything. And I remember him sending me this voice text saying, hey, man, I want to introduce you to someone. He's one of the good ones. He gets it. He's like you and I. And it's true. It's true. But I think that the important thing, there's so much to unpack with what you just said. But one of the things that comes to mind is this desire or this, this. Call it a yearning and a knowing that there's more that there has to be more than accomplishing, achieving and acquiring. And you know me, I talk a lot about financial money, but really about how that wraps legacy. And legacy is not what we leave for people, but it's what we leave in people. It's what we do each and every moment. And what you're doing is you created an environment. This is the beautiful thing is that you created this environment to allow men especially, and you're doing some stuff with youth, too, which is cool to be able to live into that, to be all they're meant to be, to stand up and live a life that is what I call full of richness and not just wealth and goodness and morality and all the things. And so I think that this is huge. We're doing it now. We are the they. I know that there's a story behind this name because when you first hear it, it doesn't necessarily roll off the tongue and you kind of go, huh? You tweak your forehead a little bit and kind of go, what do you mean, we are the they? But I think that there's a, there's a, there's a big story behind this. And when you get it, you kind of go, oh, now I get it. Can we, can we, can we go back to that? Yeah, we'd love to, love to share that story. So, long story short, you know, about seven, eight years ago, I had the opportunity to start going undercover with a couple different organizations, and we would do these rescues where we'd help kids that were being sex trafficked in foreign countries. And after one of these ops, we had a very dangerous operation. These guys, you know, and I always said there was, like, bad guys when we would do this, and then there was evil guys, the ones that have a full system and organization around trafficking children. This was one of the evil guys that we were able to take down on this trip. We did a rescue, and my girlfriend picked me up at the airport on the way back, you know, and we were driving home and she pulled over. I was telling her about the op and I was all excited. I just had this rescue and helped this kid. And she pulls over and she surprised me a little bit. She said, she said, hey, I don't want you to do this anymore. I said, what are you talking about? I just told you, I'll just rescue you. And you had this amazing experience. She said, I know, but, you know, super dangerous, and it's a terrible environment to put yourself in. And I was like, I know, but like, no, this is going to be part of my life's mission now. And she said, well, I get that somebody needs to do it, but why can't they just do it? And without even thinking, Mel, I said, I said, well, there is no thing. We are the thing. And when I said that, it struck shivers down my spine. I thought, oh, my gosh, how beautiful is that thing? Everybody always was like, they need to do something about this. It's like, no, there is no thing. We are the they, we're the people that need to step up and make a difference. And so that became my life motto. I got a tattoo of it on my arm. And from that day forward, I just knew, you know, I was on a podcast one time, a pretty big podcast, and the guy doing the podcast, he was like, look man, if you don't do something with this story and this name, I'm gonna do it because that's the coolest thing I've ever heard. And so when I launched the program, that became the obvious, you know, name and mantra for what we're doing. Here we are today. So I had a martial arts studio for eleven years and I used to tell the kids, there's no such thing as not, it's not my job. If we have the, if we have the ability, it is our responsibility and yeah, we do. We can, right? I mean, there's no decision needs to be made. Yeah. And I think that you look at it and go, look, you had markedly huge success in certain aspects of your life, but there was something that drew you, there was something that pulled you, there was something that you sat back and said, there has to be a way to take this success that has given me blessings in my life to do something where I know that it is beyond a bank account that it's going to last, that you're rescuing, you're rescuing these kids that are being taken into trafficking and sex trafficking and finally giving them a life. I mean, it gives me the chills to hear it, to think it and everything. I think that there is something about someone that looks at it and says, we are the day. But here's a question, and I know that you got a book coming out. We're going to get into that. But was that something that you always grew up with or was this something that got developed or there was some point in your life that you said, no, I'm going to stand up, I'm going to live my truth. Because I think that there's so many in our world today that are scared to live their truth. They're scared to speak their truth, they're scared to be their truth. And all of a sudden we get to. You mentioned imposter syndrome, but you get to those later years in your life and go, I didn't live my life fully expressed and I think that's a sad existence. Well, I cover this in my previous book. I talk about people's biggest regret at the dying is that they didn't live a life that was authentic to me. Them, you know, they. They know that they were afraid to do something because of how it would be perceived by family or parents or children or community or whatever it might be. And, you know, one thing that I've always had, and I'm so grateful for this, I don't know why this was a gift that I was given, but I've just always been really good at taking action on things. Like, when I get a prompting, I act on it always. And so, for better or worse, I'm a man of action. And so I. You know, so for me, it was. I didn't ever think that this was gonna be a thing. I remember when I set up this list of goals, like, 20 years ago, there's this ridiculous list was like, own a penguin, go to the moon or save somebody's life one day. And so when this came up, this opportunity, I heard somebody speaking about it, and I think it just called them my soul. I think we all get these promptings, or we get these calling that we get. Most people, sometimes we're afraid to act on it, you know? And so, for me, as soon as it happened, I immediately knew I needed to do something about it. And so I just. I've always been pretty good at being able to get in the room if I want to be there. And so I just used every skill I've ever learned in business and networking and everything else to be able to put myself in a position to be a part of these ops. And very soon afterwards, I was invited to go be a part of those and do that. And so it wasn't something that necessarily I seek out, but I think it found me. And I think, you know, I had a dream one time where I was talking to Jesus, essentially, and I basically was like, hey, do you love me more than other people? Because I feel favored and kind of laughed at me. He's like, no. As I said, how come I feel favored? And he said, let me put this in a way you'll understand. And he said, you're very good at answering the promptings I give you. I was like, yeah, I came out of that one like, you know, that was really beautiful to me because it's like, I think all of us are getting these callings. We're getting these promptings. We're getting these moments of inspiration or downloads, whatever you want to call them. And I think so often people miss this call or their fear kicks in. And I've had this beautiful gift in my life that I tried so many things didn't work, that didn't work out. But here was the gift of my life is every time I tried one of those things and it didn't work, I grew, I learned. I was still glad I did it. People still looked at me like it wasn't, like, oh, Jimmy's a failure. He started this business that didn't go anywhere, to this tv show or whatever it might be. It was like, dang, Jimmy's not afraid to go for it. And so I had this gift that people were looking at me in a way, and they were honoring the fact. Like, for me, the failure is in not trying. The failure is not in doing something and not succeeding, because every bad thing that's ever happened, I mean, all the stories I share from the stage are the ones where things didn't go my way. It's when I tried something and fell on my face, you know? And so, for me, I think that's the gift of a lifetime, was simply just trying so many things that didn't work and still feeling rewarded because I was learning and growing through that process. Is that something that was instilled in you from your upbringing, or just something that. Because I know. For me, I don't know that it was instilled in me. I have kind of the same nature. I don't know if you know that I have a charitable foundation for abuse and violence against women and children. Oh, wow. No, I didn't. And that came. That came out of the fact that I had one of my black belt gals. She was a teen at the time. She could fight like the best of them. She was amazing. But she came in one day on a Monday after a weekend, and said, can I talk to you, sensei? And I said, sure. And so she closed the sliding glass door and started to cry. And I said, what's up? She said, I went to a party this weekend, and someone put drugs in my drink, and I passed out, and I woke up sexually abused. And that set things in motion, because here I was teaching self defense. Here I was teaching people to protect themselves. And then I realized in that moment that, wait a second. If I was drugged, they could have raped me, too. So it was a mistake to simply teach self defense without teaching self awareness, without teaching the ability to recognize the threats before they become a reality. And so that was the birth of. I called all my instructors, and I said, we're shifting gears. We are going to teach self defense from starting a charitable organization. We're going to start to work with people, to get them to understand how to recognize threats so we can avoid them and never have to use the self defense. And that's where we started going to schools and speaking and doing that. But it was. It's almost like you. There's just this something that just drew you. It wasn't in the plans. It wasn't in any goals or anything, but in that moment, I go, I got to do something. Yeah. I think that calling that you had, I think that's it right there, Mel, you know, we all have those moments where we go, wow, like, you know, your reality completely shifts, and you go, wait, like, what am I doing with my life? Like, if, you know, what purpose do I have here? How much good can I possibly do it? What I try to do is I try to think. I try to, because I help a lot of men define their purpose, right? That's part of my coaching. And I tell people, I said, you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. That's one of the things that you can look at. And then who did you need when you were a child? What did you need that you didn't have? And so if you're not sure what your purpose is, start asking yourself those two questions, like, who am I most qualified to help? And who did I need that didn't exist when I was a child. And so for me, you know, my men's group, one of the things I'm most proud of, my dad was an amazing man. And 95% of the time, he was such a good dad. But that 5% now was pretty rough. And, you know, I had an opportunity earlier this year, back in April, to sit down with my dad one night for about seven or 8 hours and just talk about stuff that he never shared. He talked about losing his dad when he was 19. He talked about his sisters and some struggles they went through and, you know, his family pressure. And as I was talking about all these things, you know, I said, I said, when was the last time you shared this? I've never been able to share this with anybody. And I just thought to myself, like, this poor guy is, like, hung on to all the shame and guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt and pressure that he felt his entire life. And I said, what would have his life? How different would have his life been? How different would have my childhood been had my dad got this help? And so what I've tried to do is create that space. You know, when I first launched my program, I had 50 spots available, and in 8 hours. I had 147 guys apply, which totally surprised me. I thought it was going to take me a month to sell 50 spots. And I went through each one of their Facebook's and instagrams and I looked at their kids because I wanted to know who this program was going to affect the most. And I looked at their families, I looked at their kids, I saw myself, right? And I thought, cal, I'm just going to do this the best way I can for the program that would have helped my dad. And we create this space where guys can get. Well, this last weekend, we just didn't have been. It was the first event for my fourth group. So now I have, you know, five different pockets of men and these groups of 50 or more people. And this last one was their first event together. And, I mean, I had, you know, one guy get up. He hadn't talked to his daughter. He's 52 years old. He hadn't talked to us. Sorry, I hadn't talked to his mom since he was 16. And we were able to put him through a process where he can talk to his mom. And then he called his daughter, who he also has no relationship with, and he just said, hey, I want to connect with you. I want to build a deeper relationship right there in front of all the guys. And she said, dad, I love you. I would love that. And, you know, we help them connect on a level. But also, I mean, I probably had 20 to 25 guys get up and share something they've never shared publicly. Everything from. Some of them were abused as children, some of them cheated on their spouse, some of them have a porn addiction, some of them just whatever that thing might. Because here's the thing. The problem is people think to themselves, if people knew who I really was, they wouldn't. And the truth is, is that's why vulnerability is a superpower. Because the more we're able to share what's happened to us, the more lovable we actually are. The more people can connect with our mistakes, the more lovable we actually are. And here's the beauty of it. So many guys, they think to themselves, like, if my wife knew who I really was, maybe they cheated on her or they went to a massage parlor or whatever it might have been. And so every time the wife is trying to pour into them, they can't receive the love because they know she knew who I really was. She wouldn't love me. And so what the vulnerability does is I get these men to get back into integrity so that they can trust the love they get so that when their wife knows everything, when you're all out on the table and you know she still loves you, then for the first time in your life, you can trust the love that you're getting. And that's kind of what I teach in my program because that's what my dad needed, you know, I mean, he had 20 years where he couldn't talk about any of these things that he had done in the past. And by the way, you're human beings, and so there's the reasons why these things happen. When you can dig into it, it doesn't excuse the behavior, but it certainly explains sometimes what was going on. And so by being able to do that, you know, we're helping men to try to heal from the inside. And then that reverberates through so many parts of their life. And, you know, this last weekend, what I did, we took him to this place in Moab, Utah. My friend Taylor has a 300 foot rope swing. When you jump off this cliff, you go to my instagram, Mister Jimmy Rex, and check it out. Basically, they. The one where I saw them, like. Pass you backwards where you can't even this time. So they just threw me off, which, you know, it's, ironically, was the easiest way I've ever gone off the cliff because the other times, you have to take that physical junk. And so what we do is we go through an exercise the night before for about 90 minutes, and I ask them each to leave behind a bad habit, a limiting belief or a negative relationship, and they write it down. And so when they're on that cliff, they're leaving that old person behind. And when they come back up, they're a new man. So that's the whole. It's the scariest thing you can humanly possibly imagine. I've done everything from swim with tiger sharks with no cage to, you know, you name it. I mean, I've done it all in this rope swing. I mean, it's a free fall, but you got long enough to start thinking to yourself while you're on your way down. And so these guys jump off, and it's very emotional, and they come up and they come up and they're able to take on this new identity going forward. And that's just the first weekend of a two and a half year program we put them through. But all these things, you know, one of the things is I was telling that you mentioned my coach earlier, Ed Milette, and I was, you know, we've been talking about my program a lot. And he said, jimmy, you have to bring this to the masses. We have to be able to put these principles so that every man can get this training. And he said, you need to write a book about this. And so that's where my book came about, which is called B one. And the subtitle is, how to be a healthy man in toxic time. But the title comes from the Marcus Aurelius quote, waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. What? And it's my favorite quote because it's just so accurate. And I always say to the guys, I'm like, listen, you know, like, you know, you know, when you're not being your best, like, you know, just be better, you know? And so it kind of, like, comes from that concept, but I'm super proud of what's in it. And that really, I take everybody in that book through the same process. I take these men in the program, the leadership group, and just really help people identify, you know, why do I feel shame? Why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel like I'm not enough? Why do I feel alone? And we identify that. We talk about it, and we share with them how they can break out of that limiting belief and go forward with a new, empowering belief going forward. So here's the deal, y'all that are listening to this one, I got an advance copy of this. I know people, and it is. It is genius. I mean, what you're doing is you're opening the doors to conversations that are going on in our head, in our heart, in our soul. But we keep them suppressed. We keep them darkened, we keep them dimmed, and we don't let them out. And it's like a wound that festers and then gets infected. And all of a sudden, you're sitting back and saying, I have all of this. Why am I not happy? Why am I feeling unfulfilled? And you break it down in such understandable chunks on this. And I'm going to jump to a couple chapters just to give some ideas. And at the same time, y'all, we'll make sure that we hook everything up in the show notes where you can get this book now and get it. And even if you're. Because I know I have a fair amount of the audience, which is, ladies, get this for your men. Get this for your sons. Get this. So what happens is it allows them to have more conversation. It normalizes a conversation that we should be having amongst men and amongst humanity to allow us to be who we're supposed to be and live fully enriched, enriched lives. And so it really, really is cool. Now, in chapter two, you talk about be shameless. And when you do this, you actually talk about, how do you go from being ashamed to love? I think this is a really interesting and important concept, and I'd love for you to maybe just touch on it just a little bit as to how this plays out in b one. Yeah. Well, there's the concept I talked about where if we, you know, if we were holding back of, like, what's going on because we feel like we can't accept the love because if they knew who we really were. But for me, in my own life, you know, I I had a lot of shame growing up. I grew up in a very religious community, and I always thought, like, if, you know, like, just my thoughts. I just, like, had thoughts of wanting to be with women and things like that. That made me, you know, you know, horrible human. I didn't even act on them. I just had the thoughts, but I just, just. I beat myself up so much over it. And, you know, eventually, I got to a point where I had this experience with one of my coaches, this amazing coach I've had, Melissa. She helped me realize, you know, that I didn't need to feel the shame and the guilt, because all that does is causes us to be less than what we can be. It causes us to, you know, hide from our true identities, makes us feel like we're unworthy of love when really, you can't earn or gain more love than you're already worth. You just are worthy because you exist. And so, in the book, I really take people through my own story and help them see. You know, I had a buddy recently. I'll tell this quick story, but, you know, he was molested as a kid, and we were having a night where we were all just hanging out, talking and stuff. He started crying. He said, I don't think I'm right. Right. God. What are you talking about? He said, I just don't feel like I'm right. God. And he was bawling about this, and I. It was the most interesting thing because that's how I used to feel, and I'd forgotten that I used to feel that way. And I said, of course you're right. What are you talking about? Like. And he said, dude, that's what you talk. And so I talk about this in the book a little bit, but he said, that's how you used to feel. And I was like, oh, my gosh. When did I quit feeling that way? Right? And so I really. I want to. You know, I don't want to give it away, but I take people through a process to realize, like, that we don't have to earn our love. We don't have to. Like, I, you know, when I was 14 years old, my father wanted me to get held back in grade school. He thought I'd be a star baseball player if I didn't. He put a lot of pressure on me and everything. And I told him no. And I remember Melly looked me in the eyes and he said, well, just so you know, you're not good enough. You'll never play base, base game. And all I heard was, you're not good enough. Right? And so I actually, I didn't recognize this till I was older, but I wrote underneath my hat, you're not good enough. So I can prove him wrong. But now, knowing as an adult the power of affirmations, words and mantras, I'm like, oh, my gosh, what have I done? And so my entire teens, twenties, and thirties, I was always trying to prove that I was enough. And so this came out in some really weird ways. You know, I looked like I was trying to brag or show how my worth. And I had a beautiful experience about five years ago where I was able to see that hat for the first time. I hadn't thought about it in 15 years. And as soon as I saw it being where I'm at now is a coach who teaches these things. And it said, you're not good enough. And I just thought to myself, oh, my gosh, what have I done? What have I done to myself? And the cool part about that message was, as soon as I recognized the hat, I had this kind of voice come to me and it said, this has served you. It no longer does. It's time to let it go. And you know what that did is I became an achiever. I had to try to earn love, and in that moment, I was able to release it. And it was this really beautiful moment. It was kind of the start of my self love journey where I just realized that I was just worthy of love. And I never questioned that again. And that really opened up for me. This afternoon I do this exercise with my men when the first time they get together, and we all do this exercise called step in the circle. Mel. And what I do is I have all 50 guys get in a circle and I ask them a series of about 50 questions. And if the question applies to you, you take two steps into the circle to be seat, and I ask them questions. Like, I started out super simple. Like, if your parents divorced when you were a kid, step in the circle. Or, like, you know, if you feel like you're going to let your kids down, step in the circle, things like that. And I asked him a couple questions. I say, if you feel like you're not enough, please step in a circle. And almost the entire group, every time we step in circle, and then I'll ask him, I say, you know, a couple questions, like, if people knew who you really were, you wouldn't be loved by them. And they all step in a circle. And I learned this because it was my own path. It was my own healing path that I had to go down. And what I want people to recognize is they're not alone in this. This is just the plight that we live in in today's society. Like, for minutes, it's not okay to not be okay. And, you know, then I start asking deeper questions. Like, if you've ever. I say, if you've ever woke up thinking today was your last day, that you might commit suicide, please step in a circle. And then I go even deeper. I say, if you've had suicidal thoughts in the last six weeks, step in the circle. I just did it this weekend. I had eight guys step up for that question. So we start digging into that a little bit. What's going on here? Why are you? And it's like, all of a sudden, you're not alone. You're not the only person thinking. A lot of these men, they just think that they're shaming themselves for things that aren't even needing to be shameful. Obviously, there's personal responsibility, but so many guys are so harsh on themselves, and all of a sudden, they can see that they're not alone. They can see that they have other men they can rely upon. And that's really the chemistry of transformation. It's first deciding to make a moral stand. It's changing your behaviors. It's finding a group that supports you. It's having accountability, and it's finding to help you on the right path. And so that's what I take them through. But this exercise is such a beautiful one because, I mean, there's everybody in tears. There's not a dry eye. Everybody realizes, like, holy shit, everybody's going through something. And all of a sudden we're connected. All of a sudden, we can talk about things that aren't so beautiful. And this is why I always say that vulnerability is a superpower, because we think if people knew this about me, they wouldn't love me. But when they get the information when they see each other, and then you feel loved in that state. It's the most beautiful feeling for a lot of these men that they'll ever have. And so it's just been really, I just. I'm so grateful that my path, I had so much shame and so much guilt. And I talk about this in the book a little bit, but I had so many things where I beat myself up so much. But in that, I was able to find my own healing. I was able to find my own purpose. And so now the gift of my life is like, it's to help other men to figure that out as well. And I understand them. I get them. And so it's just a really beautiful experience to be able to take these men through that exercise. You know, I had one guy this week that he, you know, well, just one guy. For example, he cheated on his wife, and he just thought he was the most horrible human. And granted, I mean, there's. There's consequences for our behavior. Absolutely. And, you know, but that man, he's just. He's beat himself up. It was 18 years ago, and he's. For 18 years, he's completely beat himself up. He's missing his entire life. He's finally able to get to an integrity and be able to get some healing around that and be able to help his wife get some healing around that. And these things, like, my dad cheated on my wife, my mom for 20 years, never told. And the way that it came out is my dad would have these anger fits, you know, extreme moments. And once you, like, talk about it, and I just, like, get to hear about him as a human, I started asking him some deeper questions. Dad, how did you feel in that time that you felt like that you're only out, you know, what was going on for you, that you felt like you had to do that and just humanizing him, not excusing the behavior again, but just understanding and being able to go, hey, like, let's talk about it. And it was so beautiful to, like, do that with my own father. I know it's a gift that most people don't get, but when I had the opportunity to do that, I said, I want to help other men to be able to do this, too, because I saw the shift. And my dad, all of a sudden, you know, he's not a monster. And if you can make somebody not a monster, you can heal that person. You can help them become a better person, because what's the alternative, right? As soon as somebody makes a mistake, we toss them out. They're worthless to society. It's like. No. Like, every one of us has our. And when we can be honest about that, we can start so good. So good. It's. To me, the words that come to my mind is this element of ownership without judgment and guilt to sit back and say, you know what? Yeah, I was less than at that point. I made some bad choices, and I'm willing to own it. I'm willing to have the consequences, and I'm willing to grow from it, because I don't think that, you know, with your dad, for 20 years, he didn't do anything with it except suppress it, which meant that he never had the opportunity until you opened him up to heal and grow and become better because of it. If the concept of our life, male, female, otherwise, it doesn't matter, is that we must be this perfect being, then I failed miserably. Yeah. And that's the reality, is, like, we all need grace. We do. And I had a friend that a couple years ago, he was targeted in the news when he was 17 years old. He was in a car that shot up a synagogue, jewish synagogue. And, you know, he end up doing, I think, two years in a juvie prison or something for it. He was young. He was not. But he was only with those white supremacists because his own father beat the shit out of him so much. He was trying to belong somewhere, you know? And he had gone on, Mel to build this beautiful life where he had this great company with hundreds of employees. Their whole service was to help, basically solve crime and things like that. And the news was just tearing him apart when the story hit. And I was 51 years old, and it was 30 years ago, and I said, if we're not willing to move on, like, what more would you want from this human than to take where he was and be where he's at today? Like, if we can't, you know, recognize that we. If the worst thing you can do another human being is to treat them or hold them in a place where they used to be. Like, we have to be willing to allow people to change and grow and become a better version of themselves. And if anybody in your own life is trying to treat you as a version of you that no longer exists, then tell them to go to hell. You know, like, get rid of those people, because that it's just. It's. It doesn't serve anybody, but people will do anything to keep you in that version of you that fits their narrative or whatever that makes them feel more comfortable. But, like, all we can hope for is for people to become a better version of self. So anybody that's trying to hold you back, that's something. You don't need anything, your life anymore. Unfortunately, people are so prone to do this. Family members and other people, you know, like, who are you to be this guy now, when we know, we know who you are, we know what you've done, but it's like. No, like, the whole purpose is to learn from that, to grow from that, and to become so much more, such a better version. Version. Because at least there's something there that you sat back and said. Because there's things I think about, things I'm, like, going, look, I screw up. Listen, I know you're not married, but trust me, when you get married, they'll point it out. Yeah, no, I know, but I'm so much a better person today than I was even a year ago, ten years ago, two decades ago, when I became a single, full time dad. That relationship, there's things I could have done better, but I'm better today because of it. But if I was doomed and damned and held to that, well, first off, you and I wouldn't be talking. We wouldn't be having these conversations. But I think that, like you said, there are ramifications and consequences, and we have to carry those of our actions, but that doesn't mean that we have to stay living in them. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah, man. The whole point is to try to do better, be better, learn from our mistakes, grow. And so that's, you know, and that's where we. You know, with my program, we just try to take people wherever they are and try to help them get to a better place. You know, I've had women call me, like, I can't believe, you know, my ex husband or my ex boyfriend joined your group. He's horrible human being. And all I ever say is, like, hey, we're happy to take him where he's at. We're all a work in progress, and I'm gonna do my best to help him be a better version for you, you know? But, like, it's not. We're not perfect humans. We do make mistakes, and we have to be able to be willing to go, you know what? That's okay. Like, we're gonna take ourselves wherever we are. We're gonna be constantly on this battle and this fight to be a better version of ourselves and allowing for space for other humans to get there as well. And the book, be one, really takes what it does, is it gives people access to this. Call it a technology, call it a process, call it a philosophy, but it's more than a philosophy, but access to it that maybe wouldn't have access to your membership directly. That's right. That is correct. And I hope people listening, because they might go, Mel, you usually talk about money. No, I actually talk about richness. I talk about living a rich life, which is a life that's fully expressed. And living that is intentional, is being intentional with it and being responsible with it. And this is why I think that you and I connected so, so well when we were introduced. Because I see in, you know, I'm a few years older than you, but I see in you this desire, this drive that is beyond acquiring, achieving and accomplishing. To know that, hey, that in a moment when I interact with someone, when I ask someone to step into the center of the circle, when I ask them to do that, I have an opportunity to shift them and the ripple effect to their kids, their children, their spouses, you know, and the past deeds is enormous. I just think that this is such, so necessary in our world today because the level of the lack of tolerance, the amount of judgment, especially in social media, especially in the media, the desire to say, I have to be one side or the other side, otherwise. And if you're on the other side, then you're the devil. And it's like, wait a second. At what point did we lose the ability to sit back as a humanity and say, we can be different and still respect each other? We can be different and still have a path with each other. It's called humanity. And that's where the richness in life lies. I believe. I believe. And you are doing this openly, directly and in a big way. Yeah. No, you nailed it on the head. And that's what I try to help other men. Like, we can get healing when we finally get real about where we are, who we are, where we're trying to be, and then we just build the system in order to bridge the gap. But, you know, I think the part that's so missing is that it's never, people will do whatever they do to feel safe. Mel, if it's not safe in society to be honest about where we are and what's going on inside of us, then we just suppress us. We hold it down, and it springs out in weird, kinky ways. Right. But if we can get real about it, we can be honest, then we can start to heal those things. And, and I think, you know, I don't know why my path ended up this way. I don't know why my life ended up where it's at today, but I'm so grateful I get the chance to just help other people be the person that I needed when I was younger, to be able to, you know, form this group that my father needed when he was younger. And I've seen the benefits of it. And again, that is, like you said, I put this whole system into the book so that it can get to the masses and really make a difference in the world. Well, brother, you're doing it. And for those of you that are listening, as we start to come to the close of this, this is a conversation that's ongoing. I think that we need to. If it's not started in your world, then we need to start it in your world. And one of the best ways is to get the book to have the conversation. There's things in this book, if we look just. I just look at the chapter titles. Be decisive. Be shameless. Be a warrior. Be fully devoted. Be there, but really be there to be a man. Be that friend, be loved, to get loved. Find one, raise one, be the king, be extraordinary. I mean, how many of us really, if we just take even half of that on, how much better, not only would we feel in our lives, the richness in our lives, the legacy we're creating in the moment, as I talk about, but how much of a ripple effect does it have to the people we work with, the people that we live with, the people we surround ourselves with? And what does that do as a ripple effect in society? I think it's monumental. And I had no idea when Ed introduced me to you, what you were involved with. It took me a little bit, but once I understood it, I go, this has to get out. As we close out, this couple things I'd love to hear is that any last messages to the men and the women, to the audience around this, around the message, around your mission? And then two, where can we go to get this book to make sure that it is not only on our shelves, but in our soul, in our minds, in our heart, to do this and get people into this movement? Yeah, no, thank you for asking that. And I'll start with the second question, which is the best place is, you know, if you follow me on Instagram, Mister Jimmy Rex, the link is in my bio. And, you know, I'm so proud of this book. You know, I've got people like yourself that have endorsed it. Ed Milette did the forward for it, and it really is a pathway to help men heal. And it's a book for women as well, and children, because it shows how to have a healthy, masculine in your life and how to keep that there. And so I hope everybody will pick up the book and share people that they love. As far as, like, kind of a last word. You know, Mel, I so often in life, we get into a situation and we feel like we're stuck. We feel like there's nowhere to go. We feel like we can't talk to other people. And it's like, that is the moment that if you can find your people, you can find your tribe, you can open up. And all of a sudden, the thing that you're most scared to share, the thing you're most scared to talk about, is the thing that's going to connect you the most with other people. I've seen this with so many of my friends, the guys in my group, that when we really get honest about that, then we can fully heal it and we can receive the love because we're all worthy of feeling loved. And the people that love you are gonna be in your life, and the ones that won't will fall, but at least you're gonna know who your people are. And so that's my invitation, whether you buy the book or not, is that you. You really are able to, you know, get vulnerable and authentic with the people that love you the most and just allow yourself to trust the love that comes in. Because the way I have it tattooed on my arm here, it says, it's a Garth Brooks lyric for my favorite song, but it's people loving people. It's the enemy of everything that's evil. And that's really the key to all this, is just to love each other. And when we can suspend judgment and love, then all of a sudden, we can make a huge difference for everybody. So I appreciate you and the messages that you shared and allowing me to have this platform to share the book. Dude, man, thank you for being here. This is so. It gives me chills to know the impact you're having and the ripple effect that you're having. And I know that this journey has just begun. You've got we are the day, but the book is just beginning. It's going to be huge, and it's going to change the way some people live their lives, and hopefully a lot of people live their lives. And in the end, we all benefit. We all benefit as a society by living this way. I appreciate you, brother. Thank you for being here, and thank you for all you do and your dedication to this mission, brother. Much love, Mel. I appreciate you, brother. Boom. That was good. Yeah, thanks, man. Hopefully that was. I was just trying to stay on topic, but, you know, share the message. So I think it was perfect. No, I think it was. I think it's really good because, you know, we can. We bring it back to the quality of life and that's. And I'll. And I'll hit it in the. That's what I get my guys. I have 25 guys going home from our retreat this weekend, Mel. Talking to their wives or girlfriends about something to get into integrity. Like, the only thing I do is try to help people realize, like, holy shit, I want to feel like that and they know it when they hear it. And that's why it resonates so much. So I think that's the message I wanted to get out. Well, it's good. This is so good, buddy. I just. I can't wait for the release of it and. And seeing what we can do to push it and everything. So. Yeah, I appreciate you time. I will get you on my podcast soon as well. So. You got it. We got time before my book. We'll make it happen. Absolutely. Do I need to do anything here to close this out or just leave it? Close it out and then I'll record the intro right now. Okay, sounds good. Thank you, sir. Everybody. Bye.