From quitting her job and starting a motherhood photography business to taking over her father’s farm, moving cross country, and starting over with a completely new client base – Alex Smith, photographer behind love daphne mae photography, is no stranger to leaps of faith.
Our conversation today was the reminder I needed to continually seek the life I want to live, and make sure my business is supporting that life.
WILDFLOWER SHOWNOTES : shannaskidmore.com/alexandria-smith
📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
From quitting her job and starting a motherhood photography business to taking over her father’s farm, moving cross country, and starting over with a completely new client base – Alex Smith, photographer behind love daphne mae photography, is no stranger to leaps of faith.
Our conversation today was the reminder I needed to continually seek the life I want to live, and make sure my business is supporting that life.
WILDFLOWER SHOWNOTES : shannaskidmore.com/alexandria-smith
📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My husband was making good money. He was doing excavation contracting in the oil fields, but he was gone four or five days a week. So this was something that we were like, this isn't the life that we want. Sure, the money is great, but he's not home most of the time and we're having babies now. And so it was kind of all at the same time. I quit my job, he quit his, we sold the house, moved into a rental in town. He sold his truck, drove like an old $2,000, paid cash for it pickup and started farming for a really little amount of money. And it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for a couple of years. We didn't go out to dinner. We didn't go on vacations and things like that, but we were together and we were at home, and I was at home with my kids and it just didn't feel like that big of a deal.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
You are listening to Consider the Wildflowers, the podcast episode 58 from quitting her job and starting a motherhood photography business to taking over her father's farm, moving cross country, and starting over with a completely new client base. Alex Smith, photographer behind love Daphne Mae. Photography is no stranger to leaps of faith. Our conversation today was the reminder I needed to continually seek the life I want to live and make sure my business is supporting that life. If you dig professional bios, here goes. Alex Smith is a writer and photographer preserving the precious seasons of motherhood for herself and others. She also hosts retreats and workshops for mothers and photographers who long to serve their clients well while living their own motherhood with peace, purpose, and intention. You can usually find her with her four children, expecting baby number five in the garden, milking their cow, or with sheep and chickens on their farm at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains.
(01:46):
Okay, formal introduction's over. Let's dive in. Hey, it's Shanna and this is Consider the Wild Flowers, the podcast. For the past 15 plus years, I've had the honor to hear thousands of stories from entrepreneurs around the world. As a former Fortune 100 financial advisor turned business consultant, I have a unique opportunity to see the reel. Behind the highlight reel. I'm talking profit and loss statements, unpaid taxes, moments of burnout, and those of utter victory. Or as my husband says, the content everyone is wondering but not many are talking about. And now I'm bringing these private conversations to you. Here are the untold stories of how industry leaders, founders, and up and coming entrepreneurs got their start, the experiences that shaped them and the journey to building the brands they have to today. Stories that will inspire and reignite encourage to redefine success and build a life and business on your own terms. Welcome Wildflower. I'm so glad you're here. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Hi. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I'm so glad that we're doing this. As we were talking before we hit record, we have some mutual friends and that's always so fun. You're in a good community.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Absolutely. So many amazing women and talented and just solid. I love it.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I'm surprised that we haven't met before, though. It makes me sad. Okay, but will you tell everybody who you are and a little bit about your business now and then we'll just dive in?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, so I'm Alex Smith, love Daphne. May is my Instagram and also my website. And I am a motherhood family photographer, film photographer. I also write a lot my blog and just for different kind of freelance stuff and for myself mainly we've got four children expecting our fifth. I homeschool all of them, and we live on a little farm in upstate South Carolina. We're kind of in the foothills at the base of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We moved here about a year and a half ago from California where we had lived our entire life. So that was a big move. We knew nobody. We just felt like God was like, go. We went and we bought our farm before we had ever been here, and we just took a huge leap of faith and went for it. It's been really abundantly a blessing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Okay. How did you decide on South Carolina? How did you end up where you are? You knew nobody there.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
We knew no one. Literally not a soul. So I mean, logistically, practically, how did we find it? We took a road trip in the spring of 2021, is that right? Yeah, it must've been 2021. Spring of 2021, my husband and I renovated a travel trailer, made it look all cute because I don't know why not. And then we spent six weeks driving across the country with our four kids. I was actually hosting a workshop in Charleston, one of my magically mundane motherhood photography workshops. And so we were like, why don't we just treat that as a giant road trip and we'll kind of check out some other states that maybe were on our radar, spend some time there. We didn't want to just go there for a couple days. We wanted to kind of immerse ourselves a little bit more than that. So we did the whole thing to Charleston and back.
(05:14):
We never made it up here. We're outside of Greenville, so we never made it out here, but we loved Charleston. And so we kept going, okay, maybe we'll move here, maybe we'll move here. And we kept basing it on the fact that it was closer to South Carolina and then we were finally, I think it's just South Carolina, but we didn't want to be necessarily in Charleston. We loved Charleston, but we wanted some more mountain rolling hills, mountainy feel. We loved the growing season. My husband was an almond farmer in California, so we have orchards here and we have a giant garden and we have animals and things. So we wanted it to be a temperament climate, but still the full four seasons and just a of homeschool community and opportunities and that sort of thing. So of course, home birth, we needed to have a good home birth community and all of that. So we were like, great, let's just do that. And we kind of just found this place and put in an offer, and then we moved. Have you
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Looked, has it been easier than you thought? Harder than you thought? I know this has nothing to do with business, but it has everything to do with everything. And your husband's an almond farmer
Speaker 1 (06:24):
In so many ways. It was, I don't know, incredibly hard and incredibly easy to actually do it and to leave our family and our friends, our community that we've grown so close to for our entire lives was so hard. It was the hardest, scariest thing I've ever done in my entire life. But at the same time, it was the easiest thing because we had such peace about is what the Lord wanted for us. And so that piece came just the ease of making that decision.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah. Okay. I'm going to ask you one more question and we can cut this out. I don't know, and you don't have to answer it if you don't, but what was laid on your heart to leave your community and go to a place that you,
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah, there was so many things.
(07:13):
There were just so many things. We loved the idea of farming for ourselves. My husband was farming for other people in California, it is really difficult to be a small farmer. Water is really scarce, most farming is conventionally done, and we just had kind of bigger ideas on our hearts of regenerative type farming, not using chemicals, just things that we kind of at our core believed in. If we love the Lord, then we need to love his earth that he's given us. We need to treat it accordingly and we need to honor it, and we need to honor the animals and their lives and all of these things. So it was kind of this whole circle moment and also just wanting something different for our family, wanting to step away from this need to instead of the need to make more money to fit a certain lifestyle, we wanted to be able to make less and be like, yeah, this is great.
(08:18):
If you are not worried about making more, then you're not working as much. And you get to kind of enjoy the other things that we really just wanted our lives to be filled with, which was raising our children and raising them to be brave and to know if God is putting something on your heart, he's going to carry you through in a really amazing way. And he's got little avenues for all of these kids that will be kind of the hardest thing as a parent to allow to transpire, I think. But also I think going through that and seeing on the other side of how faithful he is and good, it kind of makes those things easier. So there were a lot of things that lined up, but ultimately we just had it on our hearts for several years that there was kind of this other adventure for us as a family.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Okay. We've totally off scripted it. This is so good. And somebody I feel like needs, this is what they need. Two more questions and then we're going to get to it. Okay. Whatever. This is so good. How have you found getting plugged into a new community personally? And then I want to talk about business transition.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, I mean a personal community. Friends. Yeah, friends, yeah. So I mean, once again, trusting the Lord, praying about it. He's going to bring people into your life. He's not going to just call you to something and strand you there. So having that sort of faith and then what did that look like physically it looked like. So we are a part of a homeschool co-op that meets once a week. It's all mother led, it's Charlotte Mason, it's super, super precious, really amazing group of families. I think there's 12 families. So that was sort of random. I think initially I had met one woman who is just the sweetest, kindest woman ever through Instagram. I think I put on one day, does anybody live in Greenville, South Carolina out there? She's like, I do. I was like, oh, wonderful. So I started chatting with her and she was so dear, and she's one of my good friends here now to date.
(10:22):
But through her met a couple of other women. And then there was another gal who she had just moved a month before us from Utah and hired me to do her newborn pictures because her friend who lived in California had worked with me. And so she has become a friend. And then there was another woman who, her sister had hired me to do her newborn pictures right after we moved, and she just found me on Instagram. And so her sister was there when I did the newborn pictures, and I loved both of them. And so we became friends. And so then our homeschool co-op was that sister had been a part of this previous co-op group that branched off. And so she knew me and then another friend through a friend knew. So it was sort of random how we got plugged into that homeschool group. And then last October, I invited this group of friends, not the homeschool women, but this other group of women that I kind of just randomly got in contact with through either Instagram or a friend of a friend. And so I had them all over for dinner. We did this fall dinner and a few of them knew each other, but not all of them. And now we meet monthly, we call it book club, but we don't read books. We just eat.
(11:47):
It's like code word book club, but it's really not book club.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I think that's so special.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Cause
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Community is so important and it can be hard to make community as adults, especially as moms and do a mom life.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I think you just have to be vulnerable and allow yourself to just get yourself out there
Speaker 2 (12:11):
And for all of the baggage that can come with social media, what a gift. It's connecting abilities. It really is. So speaking of transitioning a business from California to South Carolina, how has Instagram or being in the motherhood photography community, like community that you already had helped you keep your business going, that transition looked like for your business?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah, it's been an interesting one because I had a great client base in California. I mean, I had been there for, been doing photography there for 10 years. So I had this very solid, very loyal, beautiful client base in California and here. And I kind of knew this going into it. It's not the same kind of clientele where I don't really have a local client base here, to be honest. And that's okay. I was kind of seeing that change in California as well to where I was doing more shoots traveling and I was having more people travel into me. And so that's what I'm just kind of noticing here has happened. So I'll have people drive in from North Carolina, Tennessee, Georgia, Virginia, all over, or I'll go and I'll travel places with my family. We all travel together, and so if we make it a trip, and then I'll do some shoots in that area as well.
(13:38):
So that's typically what it looks like, which I, I'm totally okay with that anyways. It kind of allows that ebb and flow of work. I don't love just to have weeks full of shoots and work and things, so that's just kind works better for me anyways. But the education side of things has definitely just kind of shifted with me as well, because a lot of that was already online based. It was doing workshops all over the country and having people from all over the country come to those workshops anyways. And then the mother's way is a six month mentorship. That's the same kind of thing. It's people from all over. So that was something that just kind of shifted naturally.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah. Oh, I love that because I think that's something I hear a lot is moving a business can be really tough. But it sounds like for you already having well established community and not just your local area, even though your clients were in your local area, having community outside of your local area helped you to spread your work where you
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Have moved. I'm just pivoting when need to, if something's not working, it's just sort of like, okay, this is a new challenge. I'm going to shift and I'm going to pivot. I have found in my own life, my own business, the best ideas and the best kind of new offerings have come from a shift of like, oh, what was working isn't working anymore. Oh my word. And I freak out for a moment and then I'm like, no, we're going to do something new anyways, which is probably needed and I'm ready for that anyways. And so just shifting that, so I'm not afraid of what needs to happen. If something's not working anymore, that means that we're going to close that door because something new and great, it's going to open up.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah, I love that because I think of myself as someone who loves change, but in fact, I don't change at all. I just love it. Very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
But it's good.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
My friend Brit Bass who's an artist, she's so wonderful, told me 10 years ago, she was like, the only constant in business is change and constantly evolving.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
It's so true. Yeah, it
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Hurts. Alex, how long have you been in business?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
About 12 years as old as my oldest child.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Okay. So I want to go back to the beginning, but before I do, because I've just totally off scripted this whole time because I just love getting to know you. I'm really intrigued by the beauty and the harmony of mothering
Speaker 1 (16:16):
And
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Building your business. It sounds like you've done this simultaneously. So how have you created or established the mom you want to be and how you're showing up in work? Does that make sense? How have you found that harmony of doing both of those simultaneously? You have four kids, another on the way. I'm amazed.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah, I mean, I think it's just always where my priorities, where are the things that are truly, truly matter in life? If I look back on my life 10 years from now, what are the things that are really going to matter? Am I going to be like, oh, I'm so glad I made so much money and worked so much, or am I going to be like, I'm really glad I actually said no to a few things that probably could have brought in more money, but I said no, and instead I poured into my children and now I'm seeing the fruits of that in a really tangible way. So I think it's just as simple as that, simple as coming back to what truly matters because easy to lose sight of that, especially this day and age with all of the noise on social media and everything else of make this much and work this much and do this and this is how you need to do it.
(17:29):
It's easy to kind of get lost in that, and instead it's best to just sort of your head down or your eyes up, however you want to look at it, and just focus on what really matters in the situation. I love connecting with other mothers and other photographers. I love that part of it. I love the vulnerability and that pure and intentional connection. I think that's just so beautiful and I want to honor that completely, but I also want to be 100% present with my kids and pour into them 100% so that they're not like, wow, you sure worked a lot when we were a kid, or,
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's not easy. It's like a constant. I growing up was a gymnast for most of my life, and I always think about the idea of balance on a balance beam and how it's actually, it's constant movement. It's constant readjustment. It's constant. If you look at a gymnast's feet, they are constantly in motion. And that's why when people say balance isn't possible, I'm always like, but actually when I think of it that way, that helps me.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
It's
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Constantly reevaluating.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Okay,
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Let's go to these questions. Alex, life before business, how did you get into photography? Was photography your first business? Just kind of take me back to the
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Beginning. I was a high school English teacher for six years before I had children, so I taught high school English, I got married, and then when I got pregnant with my first child, Daphne May is what happened. I was a public school kid, but seeing things from the other side, I was like, think I've been homeschool. And this was 12 years ago, so thankfully my husband was like, okay. He was a public school kid too. I had no idea what that meant. And this was not something that many people were doing 12 years ago, but I was like, I need to stay home with her. This is so important. And he agreed. And so I quit and we made it work. And it was kind of from that where I was like, but I want to do something. I can take pictures. And so it started from that and the first few years were just sort of taking on all the random things and trying to figure out what my actual style was and what I was really drawn to. And I kept coming back to film photographer's work, which it was all weddings typically at that point, except for Ian Palmer was doing families. And so looking at that film work and always trying to emulate it, and I was just like, I'm not a hybrid shooter by any means, so I'm just going to buy film gear and go for it.
(20:22):
So I did. And then I really loved motherhood images in particular. That was something that was always speaking to me. And this was when I had, now my second child was baby, and I was just getting kind of super hyper aware of how quickly that was all going by and how much I wanted to savor it. And I knew I couldn't be the only mother. I knew that there had to be a really universal with that. And so I just started focusing on motherhood on film.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
And this was all, are you from California? Is your husband from California? So
Speaker 1 (20:57):
California,
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Was it scary for you, particularly even financially, to quit your teaching career? Did you set financial goals in the beginning of, I need to
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Replace
Speaker 2 (21:12):
This income?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
No, no. We're really kind of just leap of faith people. Let's just go for it and see what happens. We're not really planning ahead a whole lot. It worked out, perhaps you shouldn't be like me, but that's what we did. So we're kind of like, let's just do it. It feels like that is what the Lord is telling us to do, and then we will just trust that we'll figure it out and he'll provide. And he did. I mean, it wasn't without some major growing pains early on because that was literally the same time my husband was making good money. This is before he was farming, he was doing excavation contracting in the oil fields, but he was gone for five days a week. So this was something that we were like, this isn't the life that we want. Sure, the money is great, but he's not home most of the time and we're having babies now.
(22:07):
And so it was kind of all at the same time. I quit my job, he quit. We moved into, sold the house, moved into a rental in town. He sold his truck, drove like an old $2,000 paid cash for it pickup, and started farming for really, really little amount of money. And it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy for a couple of years. We didn't go out to dinner. We didn't go on vacations and things like that, but we were together and we were at home and I was at home with my kids, and it just didn't feel like that big of a deal
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Because you knew what you valued and it was, did you ever question that?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I never did. I was never like, man, I shouldn't have quit my teaching job now. I was like, this is going to be great. Whatever lies ahead, it's going to be great, and we're going to just keep moving forward with that.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
I think so many people I work with, because I get the honor of doing this and talking with entrepreneurs every day, and I think so often we say we value our time, or we say we value
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Freedom
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Of time, but giving up the income that can come with that is a whole other level of trust. So in those early years, tell me about how did you create your offers, your pricing? Did you set up your own website, kind of the business side, or was it super organic and you just took
Speaker 1 (23:51):
What came? Yeah. Yeah. I've never been hyperfocused on business stuff. So it was definitely kind of an organic experience. So we lived in that house in town for, oh, a few years, I can't even remember. And then my dad, so my dad was an almond farmer as well. So my husband kind of took over what my dad was doing and then grew that a little bit through over seven year period. But there was a house next door to my dad. So this was separated by an almond orchard. It was on five acres. It was a 30 year old, double wide mobile home. So the women that lived there sold it to my dad. And I had this overwhelming feeling. I had two young kids, and I was like, we are supposed to live in this double wide, which, oh, it pained me. I couldn't believe I was saying the words. My husband and my dad were both, what are you sure what's happening? And I was like, yep, we're just supposed to move there. So my dad was like, okay, yeah, go rent the double wide. So we moved into the double wide. I think I cried every day for three weeks because I was like, what's happening?
(25:08):
You'd walk, it would shake. It was just a whole thing. But once I kind of settled, I felt like that was honestly when my business really kind of took off to the next level because I went from not even being able to say the words I live in a double wide mobile home to, it was kind of this, I don't know, this thing that I would always talk about. Yeah, my double wide come to the double wide. I built a studio out front, this cute little garden studio with our garden. I would have all my clients come there mean these were clients that were paying good money and drove much nicer cars than I did in a much nicer home than I did. But they were so happy to come to the double wide and come to the garden studio. And before I even had my studio, I would do newborn sessions in our bedroom in the double wide. And she was cute, but she was a special lady that double wide. So it was,
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I mean, 50 years wears on anything. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, exactly. And especially something that's not actually touched to the ground. So there's that wheel. So it was just this moment though of, I don't know, it was like I was literally living the true path that God had laid out for me. I felt like I was just awakened in this way. My creativity was, I felt like my vision for what I wanted to create in my work became more clear. I was able to write again. I felt like my writing had been stunted for a couple of years where I just never, I always had this block and it just opened up and I could write things more clearly, I think because I could see them and feel them more clearly, so I could put them into words more clearly. And so that paired with the images kind of launched into what you see today.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I love your work. Oh, so much. It's so beautiful. Kyle and I were just having this conversation and going back to what you said before about buying your farm in South Carolina and living on less and needing less, and Kyle and I were talking about how different people are motivated by different things. So when I worked in finance, I was told to take on staff, get an office, because if you have more expenses, it will force you to work harder.
(27:45):
And what I learned, and this is what was so interesting about what you said about your double wide and now and your farm in South Carolina, I have learned, and this is my 15th year in finance, when I have less pressure and more freedom. And that's like you said, it's like your creativity and your energy and your excitement. And I think Kyle is the opposite. He actually is someone who pressure pushes him. And I'm like, if you're pressuring me, it's kind of like, if you're riding my tail, I'm going to slow down. I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
And
Speaker 2 (28:27):
It took me so long to figure that out. And I love just what you said about living in this place where you felt freedom is what gave you, it opened up and talk through the next few years in your business, just growth of your business, how it changed. It sounds like you moved into education, and I just want to hear about the growth.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yeah. Yeah. So the education part, so that happened probably a few years after we moved there and everything just became so much more clear as to what I was supposed to do. And I think it was also easier, it became easier to take those leaps of faith, doing those scary things at that lying voice in the back of your head is like, you can't do that. That's not going to work. And I think I got better, better of just being like, no, I'm going to go ahead and try it. I'm going to go for it. Because I realized that even if it didn't work out the way that I thought it should in my head, it would work out the way it was supposed to, and I would learn something from that. I could pivot from there. I could move forward in new ways. So I wasn't afraid of that failure anymore.
(29:48):
And I'm still not so much, I mean, I put things out sometimes and they don't work out, but I'm not like, oh, I've failed and it's a real big thing. I'm just like, okay, we're going to go ahead and move forward and try something else and learn something else. And what am I learning from this? What am I taking from this and how can I serve a client or a customer better based on what I've just learned? So I think it was just that leaning into the trusting and forgetting about that fear of failing. And so just trying new things and trying new avenues. So in 2018, I held my first workshop called it the Magically Mundane, and it did really well and it was beautiful. And then the next year I did three, and I think from there it's kind of added up to eight or nine or something like that. And then last year I started doing the six month mentorship called The Mother's Way. That's been really beautiful. So yeah, it's definitely kind of curved into education a little bit more, but I'm always thinking of what else could be fun and
(31:03):
Valuable for somebody, but I don't worry about that fear. I don't have that fear of whatever failure, whatever that actually means. It doesn't mean much to
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Me. Yeah. Has it always been pretty much the motherhood photography or
Speaker 1 (31:20):
Something
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Around motherhood photography?
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, it always has been. Yeah, because before I was a teacher, so yeah, it really has had something to do with that because it was doing the photographs and pairing them with the words, which were basically just me processing my feelings about motherhood and how much it was beautiful and it was hard, but it was amazing and all of the ins and outs of what goes along with that and just finding that joy in all of it, finding the magic and the mundane.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah. I would love to hear, going back to this idea of letting go of failure, do you feel like that's been natural for you and easy, or was there a shift where you started, this is something Kyle and I have been talking about so much. We are both natural dreamers. We've always been big dreams. Chase have dreams, but I think in the last five-ish years, I would say we've become safer. We are just kind of do the right thing, make the right choice, and lately we've just been really pushing back against the right, do the path. You know what I'm saying? So I love hearing you talk about trying new things and not being afraid if it doesn't work out. Sometimes I know I personally can get stuck in what is the right decision and how am I supposed to do this well? So is that something you feel like is natural for you, or did something shift that gave you more freedom?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yeah. No, I don't think it's natural for me at all. I think I naturally was like, what's safe? What's safe? Safe? Whatever's right must be the safe decision. But I think I've just realized more and more through just kind of going for it, taking those leaps of faith that those things that feel like not safe and comfortable are the things that will grow me the most and grow me closer to, I'm kind of welcoming any new opportunity to trust the Lord, because I know that that's ultimately going to teach me amazing things. It's going to help me grow in ways that I find are really, really valuable. So any of those new opportunities where I'm like, yep, this is a new opportunity to trust the Lord, then we're probably going to go for it. So I don't know. We'll see what's next on the horizon. We have, I don't know if you've ever read the book, the Oxcart Man, do you guys have that at home? Like a children's book? It's really beautiful, and it's about, it's in the
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Oxcart man,
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Oxcart man. It's my three-year-old requests at every single night. That's like what we read, but it's like early 19 hundreds or late 18 hundreds, I can't even really remember, but it's about this man, and he lives with his wife and his two kids, and they basically, they work all year, and then October, he loads up his ox cart and he takes it to the Port Smith market, and he sells everything, gets a few things that he needs, and he walks back home and they start it all over again. But it's this really beautiful, simple life, and my husband and I lately, we're like, so how do we do oxcart, man? What are we doing here? How do we live in Oxcart? Man? You share the sheep in April, you plant the turnips and cabbages in May and the potatoes and you have the bees. So we've got a few of those things, but how to create a life where that's, you're not reliant on having to make a ton of money.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
I don't
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Know. I think there's something really freeing in letting go of that.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah, this is all so good, and I feel like it's so interesting with a lot of the conversations Kyle and I, my husband and I have been having lately, and again, just culturally I think how much so many of us want that simple life, but it actually feels like such a difference to culture.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Oh, it's so countercultural. It's incredibly, yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
With that, since I do finance every day, I would love to ask you a few questions, not about your numbers, but about more money mindset.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Okay. You feel good? Okay, we're doing it.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
When you think about your relationship with money,
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
How would you describe just that relationship with money, either in the beginning stages of your business and then now 12 years in, four little ones, one on the way?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah. I mean, money is fleeting and it's a false sense of security, so I always remember that, and it can be coming in abundance and it can stop on a dime, and you can have a crazy expense that takes a lot of it away. So it's something that I think we put so much security in and it's like over here, why would you do that? I could be here and gone whenever. So obviously you can make super smart investments, which it's obviously a great idea, and that's something we definitely do as much as we can. Real estate is a great investment, things like that. But when it comes to business, I tend to focus a lot on the quality and the meaning of the business itself, and I find that the money just comes with that,
Speaker 2 (37:15):
And
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's always just enough. It's always what I need. It's always just provided in a really beautiful way. I have never been in a mindset of I need to make million dollars and I'm going to just hustle and do whatever I can to make a million dollars. I'm like, I'm going do the things that I feel are really valuable and really lend itself to my overall end goal in life, and I'm going to trust that the money that I need is just going to continue to come in. And it always does. It always does. It always
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Provides. Yeah, I feel like that's such a freeing approach. Again, life first and then I mean, we all have to make money. We all have to pay our bills. Absolutely. Yeah. But knowing that the means.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Yeah. Great. What would you say is the best thing that you have learned about money?
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I heard a sermon once that said, you worship what you fear. So if we fear a lack of money, if we fear that there's just never going to be enough, then that's kind of what going to worship that scarcity, and that's what we will constantly be thinking about and be obsessive about. So I think that that was really convicting to me just in all kinds of things. If we worship failure, we're going to be constantly obsessing about accomplishments and about how other people giving us accolades and that sort of thing. So yeah, I think that's probably one of the most interesting things I've heard and something I come back to a lot because I don't want to worship an idol. I don't want to worship something that is meaningless in life.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
I would love to sit in your household and just hear these conversations with you and your husband. It's so intriguing, and I remember when I worked in finance, when I first got started, I used to talk about buy my dad a house and giving away 50% of our income, and I think it's really easy, especially in business, because money can ebb and flow, and like you said, you kind of want to hold onto, if you fear that it's
(39:48):
In a ebb season, you hold onto it a little more. And so that's something. Kyle and I have just talked so much about living more simply, and at the end of your days, we all have to determine what we value most and recognizing that we have to buy milk and groceries, but you guys are growing that, so you're doing your thing. Okay. We talked about this a little bit before, but before we go into a quick fire round, because I love a little quick fire, how would you say in a world that does ask us to do everything really well, be a great business owner, be a great wife, be a great mom, how have you found and held on to doing work you love in a way that fuels the life that you and being the mom you want to be?
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I mean, I think it's just about keeping the priorities straight. So if obviously being the wife and mother that I think is really valuable to my husband and children, that's of the utmost importance. So that's where I'm going to pour all the time and the most time and the most effort. Then also I want to, if I'm working with a client, whether it be for a shoot, mentorship at a workshop, I want to serve those people so well, but I know if I take on too much of that, then both are going to suffer. So it's really, I just don't take on that much. I take on when it comes to the work and business stuff, I take on just the amount that I know I can give a little bit with the family and it's not going to make a difference, but that I can pour in entirely to the people that I'm with. I don't do well on autopilot mode or comfort session flow or anything like that, so I don't do a lot. I mean, I may only shoot once or twice a month and then have a couple of workshops and mentorships throughout the year, but those people are going to be the ones that I give wholeheartedly to.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay, let's quick fire before we wrap up. Okay. If you haven't read these, I'm interested in how your answers come out. Okay. They're hard. I don't remember what they were. The first one's a doozy. Okay. What is the one thing you would be embarrassed if people knew?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
The first thing that came to mind was the way that I do laundry. The way that I put away laundry, I guess is what I should say, which I guess I'm not that embarrassed about or else I would probably not be sharing it with you. But I have four children and a husband who does land development. He's a very dirty guy. There's a lot of laundry, so I really, it's one of those things where I have to give a little bit. So we do the laundry. When it's clean, I put it all in my bed and everybody comes in and they separate out their pile, and then they take that pile and they shove it in their drawer, and that's great. So you have clean laundry in your drawer. It is not folded perfectly, it's not folded at all, but it's clean and it's in there and your church clothes are hung up and those get hung up and there's like five things and they're hung so that that's not wrinkly, but everything else is of questionable. It's straightness. So yeah,
Speaker 2 (43:23):
A great reminder to just pick the things you value because Exactly.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yes, perfectly. The kids are rifling through there anyways to get clothes, so it's going to get messed up, and one day I was like, why am I doing that? Let's just
Speaker 2 (43:39):
Put in that is a lot of laundry. Any regrets or wish you could do over moments?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
I think it was just that allowing, having that freedom to just be where my feet were, I think is kind of the thing, because when we moved out of our very first house and moved into that house in the city, I think I was very much in that phase in my life focused on what I should be doing, what others were doing and trying to keep up with them. So we rented a house. It was a beautiful house in a gated community that we rented because I was so worried about what other people would think and how am I keeping up with those sorts of appearances, that facade, and when we moved into the double wide and that had to just go out the window and it was just the most wonderful transformative experience of my life. I wish I would've just recognized that sooner, but I think it was all just part of what needed to unravel and win.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Yeah. It's like you had to go through, not the rat race, but you had to go through that experience to realize
Speaker 1 (44:57):
How unsettling it was.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Joy for you is simplicity and less, and that's served you forever.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
That's so good. Sometimes the hardest things and the feels like the undoing
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Is
Speaker 2 (45:15):
What
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Absolutely
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Provides the most clarity. Okay. A big win or pinch me moment.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Definitely. Getting pregnant with this fifth baby was just a huge pinch me moment. I was so thankful. I mean, I prayed and prayed and prayed over wanting one more baby, and I had a miscarriage in March, so got pregnant in February, miscarried at six weeks in March, which was the most heartbreaking experience of my life. But then six weeks later found out I was pregnant with this baby and everything. Praise God's gone so well, and so that was just, I'm still kind of just living on a cloud that we get to have another baby. It's just such a blessing.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
There's sweet little miracles everyone.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
They really are of
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Them.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
And congratulations, number five.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
You too.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
Do you find out what your babies are? Do you let it be a surprise?
Speaker 1 (46:19):
We always let it be a surprise.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Same.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Same. That's what we,
Speaker 1 (46:23):
So fun. We
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Did.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
What are you working on now or one resource you would like to share?
Speaker 1 (46:31):
So I just had this idea literally this past week of creating a digital resource for photographers, but it's all going to, it's going to be called Expand Your Brand, and so it's going to be really about offering photographers ways that they can kind of diversify and create different income streams so we're not putting all of our eggs in one basket, because there's a lot of freedom in that. You don't have to book X amount of shoots in one month or I'm not going to make what I need to make, or it kind of alleviates that pressure because even if you're just bringing in little bits here and here and here, all those add up to enough so that I'm hoping to have ready in about a month for, but it's going to be geared towards photographers, so it's using the skills that they have to kind of expand their brand.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah, that's exciting and also really diversifying and is really freeing. If one isn't doing well, it's not as make or break your year.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (47:44):
Alex, thank you so much for coming on and sharing more of your story and your wisdom, and I think just your way of looking at life in the world, and I know I can see how much your faith is directing the way that you live your life. I want to send it off with what would you tell yourself on day one when you left your teaching job and were like, I can take pictures. What would you tell yourself way back then?
Speaker 1 (48:19):
I mean, it's kind of something that now I come back to constantly. It's just make choices in your life that at the end of your life, when I meet my maker and I want him to say, well done, my good and faithful servant, what are the choices you're going to make in your life to honor and glorify God in every way, and that's what you got to do.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah. Well, it's been so wonderful to get to know you, and hopefully we'll meet in real life one of these. I just feel like the need to come out to your farm
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Anytime
Speaker 2 (48:52):
Your work is so beautiful, so it's going to happen. We're going to have to make it happen. Thank you for sharing your story, and it's just been really a joy.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Hey, wildflower, you just finished another episode of Consider the Wildflowers the podcast. Head over to consider the wildflowers podcast.com for show notes, resource links, and to learn how you can connect with Alex. A Little Sunshine from our Wildflower of the week, Clarissa b new favorite business podcast. This podcast has quickly become my new favorite, and I can't wait to hear more episodes. As a brand new entrepreneur who is just starting their business, these candid and transparent conversations have been so helpful. The conversations are honest, raw, inspiring, and feel like you're chatting with a couple of business friends and mentors. Thank you for pulling back the curtain and sharing what it takes to be successful while also prioritizing life and the things that are most important to you. This show is truly a gem. Thank you for the sunshine, Clarissa. One final thought for today from Mark Twain. 20 years from now, you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. As always, thank you for listening. I'll see you next time.