065. Monica Fullerton: Creating Career Flexibility for Military Spouses

After marrying her high school sweetheart turned Air Force husband, Monica realized that the military community was ripe with entrepreneurs, but there was no central place to shop for their products and services – so she created one!

Monica’s lack of experience in the tech space hasn’t held her back from building a successful e-commerce marketplace. Her story is a powerful reminder that with hard work and determination, you can figure anything out.

WILDFLOWER SHOWNOTES : shannaskidmore.com/monica-fullerton

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Monica (00:00):

I was in the car. I had called my mom actually, and I was like, I don't know what to do. I'm terrified of losing the stability and I've been able to get this far because of the stability. What do I do? And she was like, just quit. And I was like, what? Just quit. It's not that easy. I can't just quit. And I'll never forget that moment of being at that point where even though we were definitely not at the financial place in the business for me to be able to quit, but when you're building something that you're so passionate about and you know that it's much bigger than yourself, for me it was no question.

Shanna (00:38):

You are listening to Consider the Wildflowers the podcast. Episode 65. After marrying her high school sweetheart turned Air Force heavy. Monica Fullerton quickly learned that the military community was ripe with creators, makers, and entrepreneurs. Many of her fellow spouses were pursuing their passions in between deployments and even as full-time businesses, but there wasn't a central location to shop and support these deserving entrepreneurs within the military community. So she created one. She has now been honored as a Forbes Next 1000 recipient and Inc. Female founder. Monica's lack of experience in the tech space hasn't held her back from building a successful e-commerce marketplace. Her story is a powerful reminder that with hard work and determination, you can figure anything out. If you dig professional bios, here goes Monica Fullerton is the founder and CEO of Spousely, an online marketplace that supports deserving businesses within the military community.

(01:32):

She is a twin mom on a mission to provide more career flexibility and stability no matter where the military life takes you. Monica is a firm believer that anything is possible if you just put your mind to it. She hopes that this platform helps provide a place where everyone can come together and support each other. When you shop small, you are truly making a big impact. Okay, formal introductions over, let's dive in. Hey, it's Shanna and this is Consider the Wildflowers, the podcast. For the past 15 plus years, I've had the honor to hear thousands of stories from entrepreneurs around the world. As a former Fortune 100 financial advisor turned business consultant, I have a unique opportunity to see the real behind the highlight reel. I'm talking profit and loss statements, unpaid taxes, moments of burnout, and those of utter victory. Or as my husband says, the content everyone is wondering but not many are talking about. And now I'm bringing these private conversations to you. Hear the untold stories of how industry leaders, founders, and up and coming entrepreneurs got their start, the experiences that shaped them and the journey to building the brands they have today. Stories that will inspire and reignite encourage to redefine success and build a life and business on your own terms. Welcome Wildflower. I'm so glad you're here. Hey, Monica, welcome to the show.

Monica (02:44):

Hey, thanks so much for having me.

Shanna (02:46):

I'm excited we're doing this. Before we hit record, you just had said we use this same platform for our podcast. Do you guys have a podcast?

Monica (02:54):

Yes. It's a podcast where we do exactly something similar as you as well. We share our vendors' stories and how they're turning the impossible into I'm possible.

Shanna (03:04):

I love it. I'm so excited to do this. As I was just sharing with you, Lauren on my team is a military spouse, and so she is how we connected and I just had no idea. I mean, it makes sense once you are like, oh, military spouses, they move a lot. It's hard to hold down a job. It makes sense, but I just don't think that it's spotlighted or highlighted or really known outside of the military community. So I just love what you're doing. I'm so excited. Thank you for your time and for coming on the show.

Monica (03:39):

Yes, thanks for having me.

Shanna (03:41):

Okay, we're going to do an intro, but I want you to just share quickly who you are, what you do now, and then we're going to kind of talk about life before you ever started this business.

Monica (03:53):

Sounds good. So good. Hey everyone. I'm Monica Fullerton. I am an Air Force spouse, a twin mom, and a corporate businesswoman turned entrepreneur out of my own peer frustration and inspiration. As you just mentioned, the military spouse community has faced a lot of challenges that not many are aware of unless you're directly a part of the community. So that is what has led me to create my business, which I'm sure we'll get into here shortly.

Shanna (04:22):

Okay. I'm just so excited and I'm so grateful for this podcast because I get to meet amazing people doing amazing things. So this is fun. Okay, tell us about your background. First, give me a date. How long have you had spouse, Lee?

Monica (04:36):

So do you want a little bit of the full backstory? Because I feel like as a military spouse, there's always a lot that goes into where we're at and what has led us to what we're doing now, if that makes sense. So a quick rundown.

Shanna (04:51):

Yeah, I want a quick run and I want to know how long you've had the business. So yeah, then I can just place what you were doing before.

Monica (04:58):

Yes. So I started Spousely right before the pandemic, so great timing. So 2020. But like I mentioned, I never really thought I would ever be a military spouse, to be honest. So born and raised in a small town in Ohio, I set off for college with big dreams of becoming the next Oprah.

Shanna (05:20):

Yeah, you did.

Monica (05:21):

I know that sounds wild and crazy, but I absolutely just always love the power of communication and people coming together to share their stories and support one another. So I was living my best life in south Florida, and when I was finishing my master's, I ended up getting back together with my high school sweetheart who was commissioning into the Air Force.

(05:44):

It was wild. Honestly, I will never forget that moment because it was a lot of mixed feelings. I was devastated, to be honest, just because I am a planner. So I had my whole life planned out for me. I was going to stay South Florida, build up this broadcasting and communications career. And once he was commissioning to the Air Force, I quickly learned that those dreams of mine probably weren't going to be possible because the military life, I mean you usually move around every two to three years, you're faced with the unknown deployment, you don't really know what's coming next, which is why the military spouse community has faced an unemployment rate actually of 24% for nearly a decade. And that's mainly because of the on-the-go lifestyle. Prior to Covid, it was really hard for spouses to find remote jobs that they wanted to actually be doing, not just something that they were overqualified for that they had to settle. So anyways, I got very lucky when we got stationed in San Antonio, I found an amazing corporate company, but I had completely pivoted on my own career goals and dreams. I ended up in logistics.

(06:57):

And so out of all things, I remember going into the interview being like, what is logistics? I don't really understand. What are we talking about here? And luckily, I was able to make a really great salary working full-time, remote traveling, working with Fortune 500 companies. I was doing it all. I was checking off all the boxes. I ended up, I was very successful with it, but the passion was missing. And I just remember in that moment being like, why do we have to settle? How can we as a spouse continue to do what we love, pursue our own career goals and dreams and be a part of this military journey? And that is what had led me to creating my company.

Shanna (07:40):

Okay. So when you graduated Yep. Did you go back to Ohio? Were you unemployed for a while before or was San Antonio your first place that you all lived and then you got this job?

Monica (07:56):

So it was actually a very smooth transition. So he was actually commissioning into the Air Force out in Colorado. That's where he had moved from Ohio to go and do all of the training and everything. And the timing worked out perfectly. I was doing my undergrad and master's at the same time at that point. So I was right out of finishing my master's and we got sent to our first duty station, which was San Antonio. And I did not allow for any time in between because I'm just a very goal-driven, career-driven person. So I just started applying to jobs as soon as we got to San Antonio. But like I said, I had no idea what I was applying for because I didn't think broadcasting and communications would be possible where I walked into an interview and was like, Hey, yeah, you should hire me, but I might be leaving in a year.

Shanna (08:48):

So with the logistics, were you moving around them with the Air Force, but you were able to keep this job because it was remote?

Monica (08:55):

So I was one of the only first remote employees that they had. I was very close with the owner of the company. It's called Worldwide Express, and it's one of the largest three pls. So normally it's a company that you need to be there in person and doing, which that's what I did for the first year. And then once we found out that we were going to be moving, I just remember going to the owner. I was like, I don't know what to do. I absolutely love working with you guys. I love everything about the company and I'm really great at it now and everything. And I'll never forget, he goes, Monica, we cannot lose you. I will do whatever it takes to be able to still have you a part of our team. And sure enough, he did. We got stationed, we were going to Vegas next, and we found a way for me to do it remote and I just continued to grow within the company from there.

Shanna (09:48):

Yeah. How long were you with that company?

Monica (09:52):

I want to say it was probably, it was either seven and a half to eight years. I don't remember what the exact number is, but somewhere around there to the point where that was my first real job out of college. And the fact that I got so lucky to be able to have that opportunity was something I am forever grateful for it. And I just started to realize though, a lot of my fellow military spouses just were not able to piece the puzzle together. I was.

Shanna (10:19):

Yeah. So I know military communities I have heard are very close knit. Were you hearing from other military spouses their work struggles? Did you sense this kind of passion growing inside of you?

Monica (10:38):

To be honest, yes and no. I felt very lost in the military community at first just because I was so career driven and I was always working. I couldn't attend different spouse events or different things to be truly a part of the military community. Because like you said, yes, it's a very close community and oftentimes a lot of spouses decide that they want to stay home or because trying to piece the puzzle together, they just don't feel like maybe they have an option to work even though they have their bachelor's or master's or they're talented in one area. So I always kind of had one foot in and the other foot out just because I was traveling so much with my corporate career, but it got really sad because those are my husband's friends. We're hanging out with all military families and these become my friends.

(11:31):

So it just became, there was a divided world and I was like, it doesn't need to be like this. I want to feel like I want to be a part of the military community, but I want to find my tribe. I want to find my people that also understand what it's like to be juggling a full-time job as well on top of this lifestyle. So I really tapped into a unique area where I had all these amazing military spouse friends that were just so talented. I'll never forget, we were in a car ride to dinner. And that's when I was kind of at that transition, man, I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I need to do something that makes an impact. What can I do? And I just remember going to dinner being like, you're a photographer, you make coffee, you're a private investigator. I love business. Wait a second, there's so much talent just in this one car ride. What does this entire community look like as a whole? And I started doing my research and I saw that there are millions of businesses owned by military families, whether it's the spouse themself or the service member or a veteran. And I was just honestly shocked at my findings.

Shanna (12:45):

How long did you start doing this research? So you're like, okay, you're seeing this idea coming to life, you're missing the passion in your corporate. Did you start doing research? I want to know how Spousely came to be. Did you think of other types of businesses? Was this the original idea? How did this come to be?

Monica (13:08):

So when I was kind of at that pivoting point in my own personal career, I started looking into franchises. I was like, well, maybe I'll buy a franchise and that's what I'll do. But then I was like, you know what? Well, a franchise doesn't make sense because most of them are brick and mortar. I don't know how long we're going to be in Vegas, so that doesn't seem like that's going to work. And when the idea of Spousely popped into my head of, wait a second, why is there not one marketplace, online marketplace where people can go and shop and support all of these businesses owned by our nation's heroes? That's when that idea came full circle. So then I started doing the research. I would say probably for about maybe three months, I poured everything into getting to know the market. I created a Facebook group where I was like, okay, just add as many people in that maybe would be interested in either being a vendor or interested in shopping this type of marketplace. And within about two weeks, we had about a thousand people in that Facebook group and everyone was like, yes, please, please create a space like this. And I just started to see the need, and that was kind of my green light. Okay, I'm going to go for this. I have the funds from my corporate career that I'm going to build out this tech e-commerce marketplace

(14:25):

Platform, and I'm just going to go for it. And I would say from idea to reality, it was probably about six to nine months, and within those nine months, I had a full-blown marketplace ready to go.

Shanna (14:41):

That's incredible. So you kept your corporate job using the funds. Yeah. You had to build out, I mean, how did you even figure out how to build out a tech software that could handle this type of payments and shop multiple shops? I don't know how many shops you have, but

Monica (15:03):

How did

Shanna (15:04):

You figure this out?

Monica (15:05):

Honestly, I am laughing when you say it just because I still am laughing at myself that I was able to pull it together because I'm such a big believer when there's a will, there is a way, and I'm the type of person that nothing can get in my way when I'm determined about something. So I just, oh my gosh. Well, we had Etsy obviously to go off of. I had a small business at one point on Etsy with my mother-in-Law while I was working my corporate. So I kind of knew the structure and the ins and outs. It

Shanna (15:35):

Can work, right?

Monica (15:36):

Yes. It's a proven business model. It's all about community. And from a tech standpoint, I knew it was going to be a lot to take on, but I totally mapped it out. I put together basically a PowerPoint and I was like, look, this is how I want it to function. This is how I want it to look. This is everything that we need. And I found a veteran web developer here in Vegas, and I was like, are in, can you help me build this? And obviously we went through a lot of ups and downs just because we were hitting many different walls. I didn't have millions of dollars to put into building out the platform, but I wanted to make sure I did it right. I didn't want it to be a beta test. I didn't want to have to go back a year from now, a year from building and be like, okay, now I have to dump more money into It makes

Shanna (16:22):

A bunch of things.

Monica (16:24):

Yes, I wanted the initial investment to be what would continue to scale and grow. And sure enough, to this day, we're almost four years in. It's the same tech platform, it's the same build out. We've continued to add more bells and whistles and expand as we continue to grow. We have close to over 600 I think vendors now. And that's all just been word of mouth. So no marketing on the vendor side just because it was very important to me to continue growing at a pace that we can support.

Shanna (16:58):

Okay. This is so good. I'm so impressed. I love how you said when there's a will, there's a way. Okay. I mean, I don't know how to build a tech platform. I'm going to figure it out. Let's go. So did you keep your corporate job? Did you transition out? Was it financially scary? Yeah. And then I want to talk about Yeah, getting vendors, how'd you price it, all that good stuff?

Monica (17:20):

Yes. So I was able to continue into my corporate for probably about a year and a half or so to Spousely. It got to the point where I was personally at my breaking point of just, I can't be juggling both. Obviously I was working my full-time during the day and then trying to scale this at night and outside of hours and all of that kind of stuff. And I honestly just remember I was in the car. I had called my mom actually, and I was like, I don't know what to do. I'm terrified of losing the stability, and I've been able to get this far because of the stability. What do I do? And she was like, just quit. And I was like, what? Just quit. It's not that easy. I can't just quit and everything. And I'll never forget that moment of just being at that point where even though we were definitely not at the financial place and the business for me to be able to quit, and I'm still not honestly at the place where I can take on and support the stability that I was used to having, but when you're building something that you're so passionate about and that it's much bigger than yourself and the impact that it's going to have to help others, for me it was no question.

(18:39):

I was like, okay, I'll cut back. I'll cut back on my own personal spending. My family and I will come together. We'll figure out how to keep building this without me having the stability. And that's exactly what we did and what we've continued to do, because I've just been bootstrapping since launch,

Shanna (18:58):

Which is hard. I mean, with a tech company, that's a big deal. I mean, it's always a big deal to bootstrap your company, but you had I'm sure a significant upfront investment. Yes. Yeah. So wow, that's amazing. Okay. Tell me how you figured out, you said that it's all been word of mouth with your vendors and your pricing. Did you have a model that you follow? Do the vendors pay to be on the platform? Is it just a fee-based platform off of their sales? How did you figure out all of those nitty gritty details of the business?

Monica (19:33):

Yeah, so I guess we should probably just back up for one quick second and talk about what actually is, so that way

Shanna (19:41):

Everyone. Right. Good point, Monica. Good point. Welcome everyone to Spousal. Go check it out. It's amazing.

Monica (19:48):

So for everyone listening, so Spousely is an online marketplace to shop a wide variety of both products and services, all created by military and first responder families. So I like to call it Etsy meets Angie's List, but with a focus on shopping for social good and supporting our nation's heroes. So I say that because there are two business models that are already proven. We've got the product side of spousely and we have the service side of Spousely. So on the product side, it's mirrored very similar to Etsy. So we have very low vendor fees to be on the platform. So basically when someone signs up to sell on Spousely, they're paying a very, very minimal fee as low as a dollar a month, and then we take a small percent from each sale. And then on the service side, it's a very low annual fee for them to basically just market their business. These are service vendors like marketing agencies, consulting attorneys, tax support. And the reason that I wanted to have both because my mindset was, well, people are always shopping online. Let's get them on the platform to shop, but then let's also show them that they can come back to Spousely and hire a CPA or a marketing agency. And because there's no transaction taking place on the service side, it's really just a marketing platform. But on the product side, we very much need the transaction to go through Spousely because that is how we're all growing together.

Shanna (21:13):

Yeah. Oh, I love that.

Monica (21:15):

It's a whole operation. And I'll never forget when I started to get into the investor conversations and everything, they were like that you've taken on probably one of the hardest businesses to grow and scale, not only as a solopreneur, but also as a bootstrapping founder. And I was like, you know what? I am just taking it day by day. Yes, I have realized very much that it is so hard because you have to have vendors and you have to have customers, and it's a double-sided sword. And luckily, I am so grateful that our community is so strong because we have not had to do any marketing on the vendor side. But where we constantly get that bottleneck is as we're adding so many vendors, we don't have millions of dollars to be investing on the marketing side of things. So we've just continued to be as scrappy and resourceful as possible and coming together as a community to be like, my shop is on Spousely. If you're going to go and support my business, please go to support it on spousely because you're not only supporting my business, you're supporting hundreds of other businesses owned by my fellow military and first responder community. Yeah,

Shanna (22:31):

I think that's such a great point that you brought up Monica, because with the pricing structure that you have in place as a business model, it's all based on quantity. So for you, not only do you need vendors, but you have to have the customers. So that's such an interesting balance. It sounds like you have no problem getting the vendors, but it's getting the customer volume. That's really been, yes. With that said, what would you say has gone really well in these first four years and what has been the hardest, maybe one of the hardest parts?

Monica (23:08):

Yeah. I would say what's gone really well is just truly the power of the Spousely community and what we're doing together. And the fact that there's so many inspiring makers, creators, and entrepreneurs that truly believe in helping to build and grow from the ground up has been, honestly, it brings tears to my eyes talking about it just because we literally are all right there with a shovel, literally trying to help one another grow. I think the biggest challenge is I am truly at that crossroad of, okay, it's time to figure out what the right path is to support our growth as well as kind of take it to the next level to be able to become that household name as the go-to marketplace to support our heroes

Shanna (23:59):

Shark Tank, right?

Monica (24:00):

Yeah. There are some fans about that that I wish I more on, but we

Shanna (24:07):

Got Squatty Potty, right? So yes,

Monica (24:12):

It's been an incredible journey. Obviously the biggest challenge is Spousal is a service. It's a marketing marketplace platform. So we aren't in control over how many sales the vendors get, how they market their products, how we are doing as much as we can, and we invest as much as we can to help them. But that is a bit of a challenge when you also have some vendors that are expecting to just immediately pop up their shop and then they just instantly get Etsy traffic and it's just not there yet. So it's a team effort.

Shanna (24:51):

That's so interesting, Monica. Yeah, because it's almost like you're, you've got to train your shop owners as they, here's what we see is best for photos and pricing and yeah, that's such a, and we do

Monica (25:04):

It all.

Shanna (25:04):

Yeah, you want to help them succeed and wow, you took on a big thing here. Good for you. I mean, yeah, I'm just excited to get to hopefully in a small support what you're doing because it kind of brings tears to my eyes just being when your eyes are opened to what this community sacrifices and I think as a country want to support you all.

Monica (25:38):

And that's what I hope to continue doing is bridging that gap between just the military first responder world and the civilian world. Because at the end of the day, just like you said, so many people are looking for ways to support and ways to go above and beyond, and there's no better way, honestly than to support their small businesses because then that truly continues to not only put funds directly back into the pockets of these families that are making such sacrifices on a daily basis, but also continuing to pave the way that we can follow our own dreams. We can do what we love while living this life of the unknown. It's just a great way to give back.

Shanna (26:22):

Yeah, I love it. Well, since I am a finance person, I'm going to have to ask you about money a little bit. I would love to hear broadcasting background went into logistics. Now you are the CEO of this robust company. How would you say that your relationship has been with money, all of the ins and outs of running this business? Do you feel like that came easily? What came naturally? What has been some hurdles for you?

Monica (26:54):

Well, I love this question. I always say that, and I thought having twins was going to be the hardest thing that I've ever done, but growing a business like this has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It has been so, so challenging, but yet so rewarding. The money piece is one of those things where it's just, it's going to continue to happen and to come as we do continue to grow and scale. But because right now we're still at that bootstrapping and scrappy stages of our startup journey, it's been a lot to overcome, especially launching right before the pandemic. Luckily now more than ever, people are looking to make their dollar go much further. But from a building standpoint, I did recently decide that I wasn't going to go the investor path and raise capital just because for me, that didn't make sense with a community driven platform. So we're exploring some other unique opportunities and partnerships right now, which feels so much better because now if we've got these amazing partners that not only believe in our mission and are actually helping us go above and beyond, but also helping us from a financial standpoint, really we can do so much more together.

Shanna (28:14):

Yeah. I do want to follow up Monica with, because when you bring investors, there is a chain of command, maybe a decision making shift in the company. Would that be accurate to say

Monica (28:33):

Yes, and I just thought back to your initial question on what have I found that I'm good at and what has been the struggle? And I would say I absolutely thrived in a corporate setting. Now, looking back at, I feel like we all think immediately like entrepreneurship is going to give us the wings to totally fly and build and do whatever, which it does, but it also really makes you realize where your strengths and weaknesses are. And for me, I not, numbers are not my favorite thing, numbers, finances, all of that is not my full wheelhouse. So I've learned it's very important as a business owner to be able to have those that do enjoy it and can help scale the company in that way, really step in and help when needed. Because my favorite piece, I'm sure you're probably have already realized, is on the community side, it's on the network, the marketing, all of the ways that we're able to truly come together. But when it comes to that financial boost and what needs to be done to really take spousely to that next level, that's not my personal biggest strength.

Shanna (29:46):

Have you gone to others to ask questions? How have you found the feedback and help you needed on the finance side?

Monica (29:54):

So I have hired different fractional CFOs at times and have had people help with projections. And really just taking a look at the bigger picture and where we need to adjust from a subscription standpoint, our fees and things like that, which has allowed us to continue to build out other arms off of spousely because me personally, I want to do whatever we can to continue to keep costs as low as possible for our community. It's not about what we're taking from our community, it's about what we're doing together. And the more that the platform grows, the more our vendors grow, the more our vendors grow, the more the platform grows. So we've created Spousal You, which is powered by USAA. We've got our podcast, we've got our newsletter. We have different arms off of the marketplace that can help us continue to bring in more revenue.

Shanna (30:45):

Yeah, I love that. I like how you said Monica, and it's so true. When you're a business owner, you're asked to do all of the things. I mean, until you can build a team or you have investors or people pouring in, like you said, maybe partnerships. You're asked to be the finance person, the marketing person, the visionary, the graphic designer. And I think finding your strengths and weaknesses and getting even scrapping creative about asking for help because we can't always, especially in the beginning, pay for the help that we need. So really being willing to ask, and I love that you're able to see, these are the things I'm great at, these are the things that I need help with. Thanks for sharing that.

Monica (31:30):

Yes. I think as business owners, that's one of our biggest flaws is asking for help. I feel like it's very hard at times to ask for help when we actually need it. So I've gotten really good at asking for help in that area because I know that that's not my biggest strength. Yeah.

Shanna (31:48):

Yeah. It's a funny, I saw this meme or gif or I don't a picture. I'm so bad at technology. I know, but it said, it's funny enough, let's ask problem. It was just me asking for help, and it was like this person carrying a couch by themselves. So on one side they had the couch and on the other side they had a rolly chair. And I was like, that's so me. I mean just like I'll move mountains to just how stubborn I am.

Monica (32:14):

I know it's hard.

Shanna (32:15):

What would you say in your journey as a business owner or even pre-business owner, just life, what is the best thing that you have learned about money?

Monica (32:26):

About money? This is a good question. Going from corporate to entrepreneurship has taught me so much about money just because I feel like I never valued it as much as now. I was thinking about this a thousand dollars before when I had the stability was nothing, didn't have to really overthink it. I was able to spend it. I knew I was going to have it coming in again, but now a thousand dollars as an entrepreneur is like a million dollars. It's this incredible the way that the value of a dollar changes when you are truly at that ground bottom level of building. So I would say I've really been able to appreciate, I've always said I wanted to learn and to feel what it felt like to build something from the ground up and I am living and breathing it that wish came true.

Shanna (33:28):

I think that's so true. The value of the dollar is so different depending on what season of life you're in or business you're in. And sometimes I think, I know it sounds silly, especially for anybody listening who's in high need of money, but sometimes when you don't need money, when you have plenty, it devalues it a little bit. Yeah. You appreciate it, Les. So I would love to hear, well, you have twins and your military spouse. So I have a couple questions on work life balance. And the first would be how have you seen your business shift or even your corporate career, so over the span of the past 10, 11 years shift in these different seasons of life? So if your spouse was deployed or when you had your twins, how has your work life kind of shifted?

Monica (34:25):

Yeah, this is something I try to share as honestly I can as possible because I feel like we all constantly seek that work-life balance from other people and their schedules and how they're making it all work. I receive messages on a weekly basis of how are you doing it all? I don't understand. I can't quite figure out how to work this into my life, but I really want to. And I would say for us, it's always been having that routine. We are a routine family. We've always had a schedule. From the second that we brought the twins home from the nicu, we continued to follow that schedule and that routine and made adjustments as we went through different age groups and seasons of life, whether it was with me or with the twins or my husband being gone, whatever it was, it always falls back to we only have X amount of time in a day. How are we going to work off of what schedule to make it all possible? And I feel like that has allowed us to juggle. Obviously you have to pivot at times. Sometimes I'm operating as a single parent and sometimes my husband's operating as a single parent, you can't really plan out too much, but you figure out how to break down the day.

Shanna (35:39):

Yeah. Okay. So on that, I always love to ask, in a world that asks to do everything, well be a great mom, be a great spouse, be a great business owner, what does that harmony look like for you? And specifically too, I would love to hear the boundaries that you've put in place specifically around your routine that have kept you in harmony. Does that make sense?

Monica (36:05):

Yeah, it does. I feel like I'm trying to constantly work towards finding a better balance. I'm not going to lie. There are many days that I'll pick up the kids from school and I'm right back in my office and I'm not even engaged at all. It's just I'm right back in work mode. And I feel like the biggest thing that we can do is create different boundaries and times that we set for ourselves of when our working hours and when our not working hours. Because obviously in entrepreneurship you're working way more probably than you ever worked in corporate and you're working on the weekends and all of that. So I try to do my best with really setting up the boundaries around what are the times I'm available for meetings. I block on my calendar when I'll accept certain meetings, and then on the weekends I'm just monitoring emails and such. But creating those boundaries is really important

Shanna (37:06):

As a family. What are some of the routines that you've put in place that you feel like have helped keep you all healthy, even in the startup season or when you're single momming it? What are some of the routines? I'm just curious to know. I think I have a toddler right now. It's just two and a half.

Monica (37:26):

So you're busy.

Shanna (37:27):

I think they're all kind of in need of a routine. Yeah,

Monica (37:32):

I honestly, I don't know if I've got the perfect answer for that. I feel like for us, the routine around, I know this might sound crazy, but you said you have a toddler, so you probably understand it, but around eating type, we've always based those set times and then we'll put an hour, hour and a half around it for just family and dinner. We always sit down at the dinner table, whether it's all four of us or if it's three of us or whatever it is. And I feel like we all have to eat. So that's one thing that even though we're all so busy, we have to eat and we've got to feed our kids if we have them and all of that. So creating that routine around feeding times has always been our saving grace because my son, he is like clockwork. He sees the clock at five, and if I don't have dinner ready already at five, I mean, it's always been like that. Right. So I would say around those times is kind of way, our routine kind of works around it. I

Shanna (38:38):

Love that. I've heard so much and I'm sure getting up, going to bed at the same time, I'm not always great at that, but I see that is so, especially in this season where I'm like, I'm tired. Madeline sweet little mad. She's a good sleeper. We are so blessed. She's Madeline. Yeah,

Monica (38:57):

I have a Madeline too. Oh, you do? That's so fun. Fun.

Shanna (39:02):

Yeah. So when she's baby, but she's always been a good sleeper, but it's a little, sleep isn't always guaranteed. So I know I feel better. And even just the wake up, go to bed, the meal time makes sense. Okay, last and then I want to go into a quickfire question, but how old are your twins

Monica (39:20):

Now? They are seven.

Shanna (39:22):

Okay. So have you seen, so they were what, three? Three when I launched. When you started? Yeah. Have you seen your ability as a business owner or your time shift from babyhood to toddlerhood to now they're in school?

Monica (39:38):

To be honest, I feel like I had more time when they were younger. We always had a in-house nanny, so I was always just working in my office, but there was no logistics involved of getting them somewhere before school. So now that they are in school, I feel like my days, my work time has cut so much shorter because of pickup and drop off time. And so I've seen a shift actually now as they've gotten older, which is funny because most people wait until their kids are older to get back into their work group. But I'm like, no, it's almost easier a little bit when they're younger, if you can have some help around the house with them and be able to do something from home. I mean, it's a great, great way to juggle.

Shanna (40:25):

Yeah, I think that's so interesting. Oh, thanks for sharing that because yeah, people will talk about, well, when the kids are in school, and

Monica (40:31):

I think I lost time.

Shanna (40:32):

I think it's such a good reminder that as entrepreneurs, you all know everybody loves it. I'm so passionate about entrepreneurship. Monica, it sounds like you are too, because it is a juggle. It's a juggle in so many ways. And I think we are uniquely, gritty maybe is the right word to figure it out. And I think Kyle and I, my husband and I were just having a conversation the other day about as he came from corporate as well and now has joined the company full time and just adjusting to the like, yeah, there could always be a sick kid. You need to pick up or your time for work is never guaranteed. And that's a hard adjustment

Monica (41:18):

And that's something I always talk about because I have a lot of people that do come to me and they'll either ask me, when did you feel like it was the right time to either leave corporate and go into entrepreneurship or to work or whatever it is? And I always tell everybody, there is no right time. There's never going to be a right time. You just have to be willing to take the leap. And for every risk there is a reward and you just have to be willing to be on the journey. That's all.

Shanna (41:51):

Yeah. I love it. Monica, this has been so fun. And everybody go check out Spousely support the families and military and I mean what you all sacrifice for our country. We're just thank you for all that you do. My dad is a veteran and so many people in my family am just very passionate about the service you're doing for our country and what you're doing for the families of military. So thank you, Monica for being willing to get in there and make it happen where there's a will, there's a way.

Monica (42:26):

Yes. Well, I appreciate it.

Shanna (42:28):

Let's quick fire before we go. Okay. First, what is one thing you would be embarrassed if people knew?

Monica (42:36):

I'm afraid of cotton balls. It's really weird. I know. That's so weird. But yeah, I feel like that's a pretty big one. I've

Shanna (42:44):

Heard. I have heard this is a thing,

Monica (42:47):

Even when I get my nails done, they cannot use a cotton ball.

Shanna (42:51):

Has this been your whole life?

Monica (42:54):

I've grew up in Ohio and that noise to me, if you squeeze a cotton ball, it sounds like you're walking in crunching snow and I just, oh, I cannot stand it. Clearly. That's why I moved to Florida. I didn't want to be around snow.

Shanna (43:09):

That is so crazy. Okay, quick side story. I'm from Tennessee. I love Tennessee. Born and raised. Kyle. My husband's from Ohio. He grew up in Ohio, but he moved to Tennessee when he was young, so I think he only had those childhood memories of snow and building snowmen and getting out of school and all the fun things about snow. So anyways, a few years ago, we've been married now for 13 years, so a few years ago for his former career, we moved to Minnesota

(43:41):

And I was like, I'm sorry, what? He was like, yeah, Minnesota, Duluth, Minnesota. We're going to move there and there's snow on the ground for six months of the year. So if you're from the south and it snows in Tennessee, I get it now as a parent, you don't want to buy shoes for your kids, they're going to wear twice and the next season, snow season, they're going to be out of them. So my mom would be put plastic bags over your tennis shoes and you'll be fine. And so all I remember as a child is falling. I'm cold, I'm wet. These are my memories of snow. I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm on the ground. It's not fun. And so Kyle's like, we're moving to Minnesota. So it's just so funny that you say that about the snow, the feelings of, because until we made Minnesota, which I did learn to love snow and wear the appropriate outfit, but I get it because last year in Tennessee, it snows maybe where we live maybe two or three times. I mean, it's not enough to get a wardrobe for a 2-year-old. So I was like, girl, put bags on your shoes and let's go.

(44:41):

That's

Monica (44:41):

Hilarious. I love that.

Shanna (44:42):

Yeah. Poor thing. She's going to feel. I know. Okay. No cotton balls for Monica. Got it. Okay. Any regrets or wish you could do over moments?

Monica (44:52):

My biggest regret when I first launched Spousely is I worked so hard to make Spousely look perfect from a branding standpoint, from the marketing to our social posts, everything. And I will never forget we had people coming to us saying, oh, I thought Spousely has been around forever after six months of launching. And I was like, no, it is brand new. We need all of the help we can get. Please spread the word about Spousely. So I would say do not work too hard on making things look perfect because people like to be a part of your journey.

Shanna (45:26):

Oh, I love that. That is so good. That's a great point. Again, it goes back to the whole asking for help, but people love to be a part of something. Yeah. Yes. That's good. Okay. A big win or pinch me moment.

Monica (45:41):

Ooh, let's see. Well, over the past few years, we have gotten just such great media traction. Forbes Next 1000 List. I just recently made the Ink Female Founder 200 list and have been on a number of national media outlets as well as publications. And the reason that's such a huge win for us is because then we're able to reach the masses much quicker about spreading the word about Spousely and who we are and what we're building together. So I am so grateful for those opportunities. I love

Shanna (46:14):

It. Love it. And congratulations. That's a big time.

Monica (46:17):

Thanks.

Shanna (46:18):

Okay. Best advice or just really good advice that you have received?

Monica (46:23):

The best advice is growth begins when comfort ends. And I share that all the time because oh my gosh, I am right there living and breathing that quote. And it's advice that I love giving other entrepreneurs because I feel like it doesn't really sink in until you are in the heat of it.

Shanna (46:42):

And that's not easy. No, I like to be comfortable. Okay. Last quick fire and then we'll send it off. What are you working on now or one resource that you would like to share?

Monica (46:54):

Right now we are working on aligning Spousely with the right partner to continue to help us scale and grow. And a resource that I absolutely love, and I'm not sure if you work with this at Tool at all, being a numbers person, but Live plan, live plan has been amazing to create business plans and projections to be able to do it yourself if you're not a number savvy person, and to really understand it

Shanna (47:25):

Live L Plan or life FE Live

Monica (47:29):

L-I-V-E-P-L-A-N. And honestly, it's incredible. It helped me understand, even after I had my projections done and everything, it just helped me really get in the weeds of it and it asks you easy questions. So for those that are like me and aren't really in the weeds of all the numbers of understanding certain things, it helps you create this beautiful projection that attaches to your QuickBooks as well as business plans.

Shanna (47:55):

Oh, I love it. I'm definitely going to check that out because yeah, that's what I do every day. Okay. I love a good resource. All right. Let's send it off, Monica, with what would you tell yourself on day one of starting Spousely?

Monica (48:12):

I would tell myself that it is going to be so challenging, but I have enough grit and strength to push through all of the hard times, and I feel like I didn't really realize that when I was first getting started and now looking back, I feel like if I would've went into it a little bit more with my helmet on, I probably would've been a lot better.

Shanna (48:37):

Expectations are everything, aren't they? Yes. Monica, thank you for what you're doing for the way that you are supporting the military community, and it's just been an honor to speak with you today. I think you're doing some things so incredible, and I just love the way your passion is driving and pushing you through even the hard day. So thanks for your time today,

Monica (49:03):

And thank you so much for having me and for letting me share more about our Spousely community. If you own a business and you're looking for gifts for your employees or to send out, please consider making those gifting purchases on Spousely. There's truly a little bit of everything. We have a number of corporate companies that come to us and we do wholesale orders, bulk orders, and it's just been a great way to keep everything going back into our nation's heroes.

Shanna (49:29):

Hey, wildflower, you just finished another episode of Consider the Wildflowers the podcast. Head over to consider the wildflowers podcast.com for show notes, resource links, and to learn how you can connect with Monica. A little sunshine from our wildflower of the week, Emily. Emily writes a comforting voice in a noisy world, Shanna is full of practical wisdom for small business owners. Her gentle approach to entrepreneurship is a breath of fresh air. Thank you, Emily, for the kind words. It is truly an honor to show up in your earbuds each and every week. Thank you for listening to all of you. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite quotes. So one final thought for today, popularized by a basketball player, Kevin Durant, hard work beats talent. As always, thank you for listening. I'll see you next time. I.