Please Don't Spoil The Movie
Please Don't Spoil The Movie
"May God Have Mercy On Your Soul." - Happy Gilmore
In this episode of Please Don't Spoil The Movie, we spoil an Adam Sandler classic, Billy Madison. A 27-year-old man-child goes back to school to prove to his dad that he’s mature enough to take over the family hotel business. Tune in as we talk about Michael B. Jordan’s new movie Sinners, the privilege of being a nepo baby, and unfortunately flaming dog shit.
please
SPEAKER_01:don't spoil the movie by adding your own soundtrack hello my name is patrick star my name is my name is
SPEAKER_00:Googling.
SPEAKER_01:My name is Miranda Bailey. Miranda. I don't know who that is. Sex and City? No. Grey's Anatomy. It's somebody who popped up. I think you did Grey's Anatomy last time. Or one of those times. Couldn't have. I've never... Seen the show. Right. But then we got on the topic how you said your friend told you to watch the show. Oh, I kind of remember that. And you watched that one episode and you cried or something. I kind of remember that. And welcome back to, I don't know what name you picked though. And welcome back to Please Don't Spoil the Movie. A podcast brought to you by sisters who love each other. What'd you say? Upon occasion. I didn't say anything. For sure. I've been saying the same things you've been saying. Okay. How are you today? I'm fine. How about yourself? I'm sleepy,
SPEAKER_00:but
SPEAKER_01:I'm fine. Me too. I took a nap before we began this. Good. Solid nap. What else is going on? How's the new job? Did we talk about that last time you got a new job? It's okay. It's fine. It's a state government job. What's your day-to-day look like? What are you doing? Supposed to be looking at grants. Oh, right. Sounds like riveting stuff. Huh? Sounds like riveting stuff. Yeah. But it's fine. The people are nice. They got an office, I guess. That's decent. I don't know. Anything is better than a cubicle. I know, but it's so ugly. And it's just like someone else's office, like... you know there's always there's already papers there and stuff yeah it's just like the papers say the person moves you know right who knows how long those papers have been there right that's how it was when i you know got my office i was like what are these binders here for can i throw them away right could you have i never did oh yeah i've been sitting there for at least Eight years now. If I open this brand in one more year, skin in the trash. There you go. I saw a new movie. What did you see? I watched that... What's that? I actually don't know the name of it. Novocaine. Oh, how was that? It was okay. Nothing like... The premise surrounding it... I'm just like, it looks like he's playing the exact same character that he plays in The Boys. It seems like a similar movie. I'm just like, it looks like the same thing. So I can't speak on that. That's fair. Yeah, but it was just like, nice guy. Not really gets into trouble, but he tries to rescue this girl that he likes and uses his superpower. How does he become... He was like immune to pain. He was like born, he was just like born like it. And he's usually like a reserved guy. And this is like his first time, like, like apparently like in one scene he was like, I don't, I only drink liquids because I'm afraid that I'll bite my tongue off and I won't know. Oh, just a bit much. I was like, okay, I think you have some sort of idea, but like, that's how much pain that he's, he's afraid that he'll hurt himself by not knowing. Oh, because he doesn't recognize pain. Yeah. so he could bite his tongue off and not know he bit his tongue off like he won't chew food in case he's like and he doesn't realize or whatever I mean that won't like kill him though it won't kill him and also like I mean what are the chances right just like eat a piece of cake dude just eat slowly I don't know he's like only drink smoothies I'm like okay well this is a little too much I mean at that rate like you'll never learn how to chew And the likelihood of you biting your tongue off increases. Right, exactly. And then he has to set an alarm to go pee every 30 minutes because he doesn't know when his body is ready to pee. Oh, really? Okay, that's tough. But it was decent. It was a nice original movie. Nothing like, wow, the greatest movie I've ever seen. But it was a pretty nice original movie. What did you watch it on? I may or may not have watched it illegally. Illegally. I see. I see. Have you seen movies lately? I haven't watched anything new. But before we went to Chicago this past weekend for the wedding, I had an inkling. I was like, I'm going to get on this airplane. And Hairspray is going to be one of the movies to watch. And I'm going to end up watching it. And that's what I did. It's like I had a vision like Raven Baxter. I had a vision of me watching myself watch Hairspray on an airplane. And then we got on an airplane. They had Hairspray. And it said it was new. It was like new edition Hairspray. And I was like, of course. And so I put it on. That's the last thing I remember. It was fantastic. I was like, oh my god, this movie's so good. And I was like, this is a star-studded cast here. We have Queen Latifah. We have Amanda Bynes in one of her final roles. We have Zac Efron fresh out of the Disney Channel factory. We've got freaking Michelle Pfeiffer. I was just like, oh my god. Fucking Christopher Walken is in there. And fucking John Travolta. John Travolta playing the mom. In drag. Mm-hmm. I was like, ugh. Chef's kiss. It was star-studded. And I forgot. After watching it, I was like, oh, Nikki Blonsky is wrong for being racist. Because, bitch, why are you in this movie? I was like, this whole movie's premise is about integration. And you have the nerve to be racist? I was like, wait, this is actually really crazy. I'm sure they didn't even think to ask that question. Like, hey, are you racist? I completely forgot. Not that that being the premise of the movie, but I forgot that that was a layer to her... Being racist. I'm like oh but you were in this movie. That's about integration. She watches her family beat up a black woman. Right. It's crazy. And then you know how people are like. On TikTok you'll see her little. What are they called when you like. Cameos. Okay those. There was one. Where somebody said. Because after watching Hairspray. I was inspired to go to like. A Black Lives Matter rally. Or something like that. Or protest. And so she's reading it. Like she's reading what someone like sent her. Oh, after watching Hairspray, like I was inspired to go to a BLM protest. And she's like, um, that's, that's, uh, good for you. Um, yeah. I mean, I, I, uh, yeah. Uh, thank you for sharing that. Like the, she hated that. The video was her literally reading it and like her face falling. By someone saying that she went to a Black Lives Matter protest. And she's like, I too went to one myself. And then people in the comments were like, yeah, the one in the movie. Like the one in Hairspray? Yeah. Because I was confused. I was like, why would they be inspired for that? Because of the movie. Because I'm thinking about right now. But yeah, that is hilarious. That's so funny because she could have inspired a couple of people not to be racist. Right. But she was racist the whole time. But her herself. That's wild. Crazy. But you know, to me, if you're going to be racist, you need to stand on that business. Why would you do a movie about integration? You know, when you're a young kid in Hollywood and the doors come a knocking for a lead role, she's not going to turn it down. She's not going to be like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm actually incredibly racist. I can't do this role. And I'm very surprised that we didn't get... more stories about her on set because this can't... They had to be eklings. She was... I don't even know. She must have been her best behavior. She was like, I don't talk to them. I'm just going to stay over here. I'm going to talk to Queen Latifah and Lil' Ahnez. Sinners is out. Oh, yeah. Another issue. I do want to watch it, but I don't like that whoever the main girl is, she's like... I don't know the story. Somebody at work told me that she plays a biracial woman, but she's
SPEAKER_02:white.
SPEAKER_01:Huh? She plays a biracial woman? That's what someone said. But then someone was like, oh, no, she's actually not supposed to be biracial. So I'm like, I don't. I was like, is this a white woman playing a black woman or not? I'm like, what's happening here? There's no way they wouldn't have allowed that. No, I think it's a thing. Because then I've seen like TikToks. you know, think pieces, like, people dissecting her, like, identity, her racial identity. Like, there's discourse on, like, what she identifies as or what she is. I don't know. I hope she doesn't like that. I like her as an actress or what I've seen her in. I am more disappointed if she is playing a biracial woman. I am more... irritated with the director. I'm going to choose. You need to know better. Right. I'm going to choose to believe that she's, they're not trying to pass off as a biracial person because there's no way. I know. I need to watch the movie to see, but. It's a scary movie. I do know that. You don't do scary movies. Yeah, but it's about vampires. Is it? Okay. What's your... know nothing about the movie because they didn't promote it I haven't seen not a damn commercial but honestly I'm slowly like didn't know didn't realize I thought it was gonna be like a psychological thriller but then I hear people talk about vampires and then I'm like okay vampires and then I hear people talking about like the Asian culture with the black culture and then I hear people talking about like then I'm like so what is his doppelganger and I don't know I don't want to know anything my whole thing is why Is there a twin component? Like, that's the whole thing I didn't understand. See, is it a twin? Because I thought this movie, no, it's his twin. Oh, it's his twin. They're twins. Because I thought this whole movie was about them being, like, twin mobsters. But then someone was like, no, it's about vampires. So why the fuck does he need a twin if the plot is about vampires? Why is it so detrimental that he has to play a twin? It's either like you're a twin and that's what the movie's about or it's about vampires. You can't have twins and vampires. There's like too much going on. It doesn't make any sense. I'm excited. And then Jordan Peele's supposed to be having another horror movie that's supposed to be coming out about football and CTE. Excited. Oh, that'll be interesting. Yeah, I'm excited for that. Can't wait to see that one. Can't wait to see that one. Yeah, he needs to start pushing these out more. Yeah. He needs to push out more. He needs to be like Stephen King. And I also kind of just need to, like, I mean, like, I appreciate with, like, Jordan Peele and, like, Ryan Coogler. Is that his name? Whatever. Or Jewing. But can we stop making black horror movies? I just want a regular black movie. Why does it have to be a horror movie? I don't want to see horror films. I do. Why is this a genre that we have to step in? Where is the comedy? The romance comedy. Diversity. Even the action. I don't want to see the horror. It's not that scary. It's not that scary. Like, Nope wasn't scary. It wasn't. But, oh, Nope. I've never seen Nope. I bet you're talking about Get Out. I've never seen Nope. Get Out wasn't scary? Yeah, it wasn't scary. Nope wasn't scary. Who's to say this one won't be scary? What's that other movie that came out? Candyman? It's just like, what are we doing? That was a really good one. I wanted to stop. Don't say his name up here. Let the horror movies thrive. As long as I don't get a slave movie, I'm very happy. I mean, yeah, anything over a slave movie. God, please. If y'all make another freaking slave movie. Unless it's Django-esque, I don't want it. Yeah. That was the last slave movie I would watch. Oh, you have an action movie for us? How about instead you make a movie where you have 100 black people play slaves and they're mutilated and tortured? I think that would actually do so much better at the box office. Can you write that for us? Who's watching? And it's almost like, okay, I don't want to go see it. And then it's like, the white people do want to see it. I'm just like, looking at you sideways, like, why you want to see this movie? It's just weird. Like, who is this appealed to? They're good movies. I mean, they are great movies, but they're one and dones. I'm not watching this shit ever again. Let's take a break. Speaking of horror, Black Mirror is back. Have you been watching? No, I haven't seen a season of Black Mirror since like the one when they go into space. Uh, Callister. Yeah. Do you see that they have another one in this season? Oh, a Callister one? Oh, really? Yeah. Have you watched it? No, I haven't watched it yet. It's an hour and 30 minutes. We're watching it in order. That's the last one. How is it? Some hits, some misses. The first one was good. There's one about like... What the fuck was it? Oh, it was like this... The wife gets brain damage and this company was like, oh, we can fix her. Um... you just gotta pay this subscription basically to keep her brain going they keep upping the price and they can't afford it that one has um that one has uh right that one has uh racially ambiguous uh fuck what's her name from the office oh Rashida Rashida has Rashida that one has Rashida in it and Tracee Ellis Ross is in that one oh two biracial gals kicking it There's the Issa Rae's one. There's not. So she has a second. Yeah. It was the second longest one in this, this season. And it was, did not like it. I did not like it. What was it about? She is an actress and she, she gets this role where she like this new way of shooting film is like, they, I don't know. They put you in a reality show. it's not like they put you back it's not like they throw you back in time but they basically put you in this reality where the people in the movie are real or like they think they're real I guess it's up to interpretation if you think they're real but they're like programmed like I don't know but while she's in there something goes awry and she gets stuck in like the she gets stuck in there for like I think it's like a year in her time because in the in the where she's in it moves slower but like maybe on the outside it was like a month or two um and then she falls in love with the lady in the movie but isa ray god she was acting like isa it was just boring it was just slow it was so slow it could have been shorter um isa could have acted better but you still know how to act like herself what like herself I mean, she's not... Yeah. It wasn't. It gave Issa from Insecure. But loved it. Enjoyed seeing her. I want to go back to the seasons where they didn't have a celebrity in every episode. Thank you. And give it back to the Brits. Give it back to the fucking Brits. Why are all these Americans in these Black Mirror episodes? It's a British fucking show. Right. So the one with Rashida... You know the guy. I can't think of his name. He's not super famous, but he's Australian, I think. I was like, okay, this one's going to be decent because this man's Australian. It's going to be a little good. There's one about... There was a really Black Mirror one, which was very British, and I was like, that was a good one. I need to go look at TikToks so I can deep dive into it, but it was this guy... I'm not, this guy created this video game and he was able to talk to the video game. And basically the, the, the characters in the video game, they escape or like they hash. I don't, I don't even know how to describe it, but it was like a good story. And it was like, it sounds like the, the Callister one. Yeah. It's kind of like that similar, but like the people in the video game weren't people, they were like little characters. It was, it was, it was weird, but it was good.
UNKNOWN:Um, Interesting. I think that's how we watch.
SPEAKER_01:We have two more left. I mean, how many, like, what season is this? It's like seven or something, seven or eight, but you know that some of the seasons be short. Because I haven't seen, like, the previous two, at least. It's crazy. You know, though, the best, the best episode in all of Black Mirror history is Hang the DJ. It's so good. It's the best one. It's the best one. Those Black Mirror episodes, those are the ones I want to watch. I don't see none of that shit where somebody gets burnt up or their brain or likeness gets stuck in a virtual reality or their soul is stuck in a teddy bear. I don't see none of that shit. Oh, I feel bad for the bad guy. What was that one where it's like they make him do stuff and this guy watched kiddie porn and then like They made him like kill somebody. But the end, like it was all videotaped. I was like this. I don't feel good. I didn't watch that one. But I know which one you're talking about. I don't feel good about this. Right. Or the one where the girl. Yeah. White bear with the chick. She like her and her boyfriend kidnapped this girl and kill her. But we don't know that. So we're watching all this horrible shit happen to her. And at the end, they're like, oh, she saw. I'm just like, I don't know. I feel like. bamboozled and traumatized. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Like, why am I on the crazy girl side? Right. This still feels like sick and unusual punishment. Sick and unusual. Because she don't know what's going on. Oh, God. Right. She has to do that every day. They do that to her every day. They erased her brain and did that to her every day. I don't want to watch that. That's not what I want to watch. It makes my stomach turn. I want to watch them find love. Yeah. I like sci-fi with a little bit of fucked up. Not too fucked up. Yeah. Hang the DJ and what was it called? Interstellar? Callister. Oh, S.S. Callister? Yeah, S.S. Callister. Those two. Give me those. And then X.S. Callister is a perfect thing because you think it's going to be super fucked up. Yeah. And then they win in the end. But I do wonder how this one's going to end because now this one's about them being in a video game. I think it's just about them surviving the video game. I'm sure it'll be depressing. Oh, no. I wonder if the girl from Chewing Gum is going to be in it. Yeah, I was just about to say, I wonder. I'll watch it if she's in there. I hope so. I'll keep you posted. But that one's like an hour and 30 minutes. So I have to plan that one out because that's like a movie. Speaking of hour and 30 minute movies, I want to take you all back to a time. Think nepotism. Think nepotism. Wealthy, spoiled, rich kid. Think bumbling idiot. Think hotel multimillionaire father. Think butlers and maids. Think hot teacher. Think first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade. We're doing it all over again, baby. Think... Chris Farley in a very small, uncredited role. Think every SNL character that was in the 1990s is in this movie. Think a young, young, young, crispy Adam Sandler. And that brings us to, drumroll please. Billy Madison. Are you okay? I was about to say Happy Gilmore. I knew you were. I knew you were. Billy Madison. AJ, when I tell you, I have to keep checking. I was like, which one do we agree on? Because I'm going to pull up Billy Madison. No, Happy Gilmore and halfway through the notes, I'm going to be like, damn, you're supposed to do Billy Madison right now. I knew it. That was a fear of mine, too. I was like, let me make sure we're doing Billy Madison and not Happy Gilmore. That came out within the same year of each other. Yeah. I always get them confused. Because it's just crazy he has two movies with two names. Right. What was he doing there? Yeah. Summary. Billy Madison is a lazy and immature man-child who spends his days partying and goofing off thanks to his wealthy father's fortune. When his father announces plans to hand over the family hotel empire to a more competent associate... Billy strikes the deal to prove his worth. He must complete all 12 grades of school, two weeks per grade, to show he's capable of responsibility. Along the way, Billy navigates the challenges of school, scheming rivals, and maturing all in the pursuit of learning the value of hard work, education, and self-respect. Party!
UNKNOWN:Party!
SPEAKER_01:Is American comedy written by Adam Sandler and Tim Hurley and directed by Tamara Davis. A woman? Principal photography for Billy Madison took place. That's a woman? Yes. Oh. I was surprised myself.
UNKNOWN:Okay, director.
SPEAKER_01:We'll get into more of that later. Okay. Principal photography for Billy Madison took place from June 26th to August 29th, 1994. Wow. In and around Toronto, Canada, of course, you know. Toronto's the Hollywood of Canada. Billy's lavish mention... Actually, it's called the Parkwood Estate and is a popular filming location. Located in Ontario, the house and the grounds has appeared in a huge range of films, excuse me, in a huge range of films and television series, as well as acting as Professor Xavier's school for the gifted in the 2000 X-Men.
UNKNOWN:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Fun fact. So yeah, this is a popular house. 2000 which, which one, which one? X-Men 2000, the one that came out in 2000. Okay. I concur. I know that house. For filming, Adam Sandler initially convinced Universal Pictures, those are the people who distributed the film, to hire Stephen Keschler as director. That was, like, one of Adam Sandler's, like, writing childhood buddy friends, whatever. Okay. However, Interesting. Interesting. In an interview or something, she said, like, she met with Adam Sandler. And she was, like, she thought it, like, before all of this, like, to do the movie. Because she was the studio's top pick. She met with him. She thought, like, the conversation went really well and everything. Like, she was like, oh, yeah, I'm definitely going to be asked to direct this movie. He didn't want her. He wanted his little friend. He's like, I'm just doing this. So the studio was like, fine, we'll give you your little friend.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:The little friend wasn't doing good. So after three days they fired him and then they called her up and they're like, hey, can you be here by like Monday? And she was like, I guess, fine. And I guess like him, Adam Sandler having to like, his friend being fired, him not knowing like, you know, if the movie was going to be good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She said when she got there, he was so stressed that his neck was so stiff that he couldn't turn his head. He was stressed out. That is amazing to think a guy like Adam Sandler could be stressed out. It makes me feel great. Right? It makes me feel amazing. It's just so funny. It makes you feel seen. I just can't imagine him being stressed and going from penguin. Let's burn up. Right. Speaking gibberish. Yeah. Improving gibberish talk to being like stressed out and can't turn around. How was that? Was that good? Is that what you're looking for? Poor thing. Poor baby. Sandler also lobbied for Bob Odenkirk, a former SNL colleague, to play the antagonist of Eric Gordon, the guy from Better Call Saul. Oh! He was on SNL? Apparently he was. I don't know if he was a writer or if he was on there, but he was in there. Yeah. He wanted him to play Eric Gordon, but the studio declined as Arden Kirk was not yet considered a serious actor, even though this is not a serious movie. Period. Don't see why that's relevant. Right. Sandler then suggested Philip Seymour Hoffman, the guy who was in, like, The Hunger Games, and he died. Not in The Hunger Games, but in, like, Relay. He plays, like, the new game maker. You know who I'm talking about. Oh, Snow? No. Wait, what? He plays the new game maker who helps Katniss take down the capital. He died? Yes, bitch. Where have you been? He's been there for like six years. I
SPEAKER_02:don't
SPEAKER_01:remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember that. Yeah, well, he's deceased. He's no longer with us. So Sandler then suggested him to play the role of Eric Gordon. He auditioned but ultimately turned down the role. Adam Sandler called him and was like, hey, why don't you want to do the movie? I really want you to do the movie. Why don't you want to do it? And his response was like, I just don't want to. That's really smart. Could you imagine Adam Sandler begging you to be in his movie? He wasn't that big then. I don't think he was. Right, which is crazy. Like, bitch, you missed out. Right. I mean, the movie didn't do that great. It was an Adam Sandler classic. That's true. What movie is that guy in that he's funny? Sorry. Was also offered the role of Eric Gordon. There was a lot of debate about who was going to play Eric Gordon. Jeff Daniels was also offered the role, but decided to do Dumb and Dumber instead. Who's Jeff? Dumb and Dumber instead. The blonde one? Yeah, the one who's clearly not Jim Carrey. I don't know if he's a lead or not. The part was eventually given to Bradley Woodford, who plays Eric as we know it. For his role as the overworked and eccentric bus driver, Chris Farley reportedly drank six shots of espresso before filming his scene. Is that really necessary? Right. But why not? Method acting. Some other SNL cast members and writers make appearances in the film. SNL writers Jim Downey and Robert Schmiegel play the judge of the... decathlon and then the chemistry teacher respectfully so the guy who judges the decathlon he's like an SNL writer the new acting principal yeah and then the guy who was like the chemistry teacher when he was talking about chloroform or whatever it was he's an SNL writer too while Norman McDonald plays one of Billy's dim-witted friends as Frank he was also an SNL hmm Oh, the tall one or the short one? The tall one. Okay, yeah, yeah. He is also now deceased. He also had a gambling problem, I read. What? The film was released February 10th, 1995 and was distributed by Universal Pictures.
UNKNOWN:Nice.
SPEAKER_01:Turns 30 this year, or turned 30 this year, just like heavyweights.
SPEAKER_00:Daddy 30. Daddy
SPEAKER_02:30.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. budget 20 million no 10 million that is correct oh man i thought he was gonna like throwing out these money to his snl motherfuckers he's like here here's a check to you here's a check to you no this is like his first ever movie yeah well can we talk more about that where is he in his career here um i guess he's like done with snl he's done like this is his first movie that he's like written and like produced and stuff okay so this is like the start of it okay we did number one what's the second movie happy happy gilmore's came out like five seconds after this five seconds they're like you're hooked your book buddy you did good it was only downhill from there After a long time. But once he gets his Netflix. Yeah, he's gonna go with like this one. Happy Gilmore. Big Daddy. And then like, I don't know. Once he hit Lil' Nicky. Even though I love Lil' Nicky. That's a good one. But the people didn't love Lil' Nicky. I said once he hits like Lil' Nicky, that's where it kind of goes downhill for him. I love Lil' Nicky. But the people. The people did not. They didn't? That movie has like a 7% on Rotten Tomatoes. That was the Catholics. Because that movie was good. Not the Catholics. Not the Catholics. The Catholics. Let's see. Little... Catholic, I can say that. Nikki. It has a... Where is it? It's so bad it won't even tell me. It has a 22% which is higher than I would have anticipated, on Rotten Tomatoes. And... Oh, they had a very large budget. Money laundering scheme. We forgot to talk about frickin' Waterboy. Waterboy, that was good. Oh, Waterboy, yeah. Can't forget about Waterboy. Set in Lafayette, Louisiana. Yes. I never got into The Wedding Singer, but I think people like that one. I don't think I've ever seen that. But that's not one of his, like... I think he's just in that. Like, he didn't write that and produce that one. Oh. He did Waterboy, though. Okay. Mr. Deeds. Mr. Deeds is cool. Anger management. I do like anger management. I think the ones that, like, are relatively decent, he had nothing to do with them. He's just in them. No, I'm looking at... They have a chart, and it has, like, a... Right, right, right. I've seen the chart. What did he do in Anger Management besides starring in it? No, it said he was a... He got some fucking mini, honestly. It said he produced it. What does that even really mean? Yeah, I guess. Just give me the credit. True. I forgot about Click. They're like, don't mess with the Zohan. Damn, this nigga got a lot of movies.
UNKNOWN:Damn.
SPEAKER_01:You know he trying to do a happy weekend more too? I did see that. Yeah, you're really late. Everybody knows that. We didn't talk about it. The trailer hasn't even been released yet. And he's got a movie called Jay Kelly. I wonder what that's going to be about. I don't know. Okay, last thing. What's his duck birth? We can move on. That sounds about right.$420 million. How many? He has an estimated net worth of$420 million in 2020. He signed a new four-movie deal with Netflix worth over$250 million. Oh, wow. That's why he was selling all those crappy movies on Netflix. Right. Mystery date. One of the Google questions is, why is Adam Sandler so wealthy? What do you mean? Because he makes seven movies every year. Yes. He's been making movies since the 1990s. And every hetero white man in America goes to see it. Yes. Technically speaking, he's never stopped. Right. That's why he's so wealthy. He's the Tyler Perry of white America. Honestly? That's not a bad analogy. Okay. Let's dive in. Oh, I didn't guess the gross. Oh, yeah. What is it?$50 million. No.$80 million. No. Am I going too high? Yes.
UNKNOWN:Damn. I didn't do good.
SPEAKER_01:$30 million. Closer.$20 million. In between$20 and$30 million. i just i miss the days where you can make that much money on the movie and they'd be like that's great right because i i see people talking about sinners i'll be like the box you know those freaking movie articles or those movie magazines are like sinners did good but they didn't make one billion dollars i was like shut up Right. Well, I just don't understand why it takes$700 million to make a movie these days. Why do you need that much?
SPEAKER_00:I
SPEAKER_02:don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Figure it out. Do it in 50. It's possible. I know it can be done. It's money laundering. That's what they're doing now. It's gotta be. It's gotta be. Because what is it? I know times are hard, but goddamn. Right. What's going on? Who's getting the check? Because it's... I know the actors are getting some of it, but still. Y'all ain't paying the people behind the scenes. Yeah, this budget is$90 million. Sinners? Yes. Like, y'all couldn't have done this in 65? Right. I mean, I ain't seen it, but it was just like, come on. Like, where'd y'all shoot it? Like, it's like, it's giving back country. What y'all paid for this? We're giving retro? How much does it cost to hire Michael B. Jordan? Right. He ain't got it like that. Okay. Guess the cost, please. Guess the what? The box office. You still haven't guessed it. I thought you told me it was 20. I said, no, I said between 20 and 30. That's what I said. 26.4. Thank you. Okay. I gave him 80 movies after that for that. Times are different, buddy. Times are different. Girl, that's what I like to call white privilege. Okay. Because he's not cranking out blockbusters like that. That's why I said 8 million. People are giving him movie deal after movie deal after movie deal. Because at that, I mean, I feel like white privilege in today's time, if you make that much, they'd be like, we can try another 5 to 10 years. Not... I'm like, no. If you make that, they're like, we'll never allow you to make a movie ever again. We're never giving you money. Exactly. It's crazy. I guess it helps that he comes from SNL. I guess. I guess. Not too much. Okay. Billy Madison. He's an idiot. A buffoon. He's a drunk. He's a rich white boy with a lot of money. He's privileged. He's a nepo baby. He is living in his mansion. We meet him. He's at his multi-million dollar home, at the pool, drunk with his friends. That's what he does every single day of his life. He wakes up. He gets drunk. He looks at a nudie magazine, falls asleep, gets in the pool, eats some food, gets drunk. throws a bag of dog shit on his neighbors lawn and watches them try to take out the fire. He does all of these things. And for some of it, I'm not mad at him. Just let me have a mansion. Let my daddy have a mansion. I might sit a couple things out. Yeah, I might sit the whole life thing. I might sit that one out. Yeah. I might let my father sign me up to be, I don't know, the head of a nonprofit and call it a fucking day. Right. Let me start a foundation. Let me start a foundation. And leave me alone. Leave the fuck alone. So this is how he spends his days. He spends his days getting drunk. Poop fire bags on the neighbor's lawn. Like this is what he does. This is his daily routine. Meanwhile, we are introduced to Billy's father. I think his name is Brian. Oh, I didn't do cast. Oh my God. I hate when I do. Sorry. Gotta go back. You're terrible at your job. I am, actually. And I can barely read. Adam Sandler as Billy Madison. Bradley Whitford as Eric Gordon. Billy's arch-anonymousess who tries to take the company from him. Josh Mostel as Principal Max Anderson. Bridget Wilson as Veronica Vaughn, Billy's third grade teacher and love interest. Norm MacDonald as Frank, Billy's dumb-witted friend. Darwin McGavin as Brian Madison, Billy's father. Mark Beltzman as Jack, Billy's other dumb-witted friend. Deena Plattis as Miss Lippy, Billy's first-grade teacher. Chris Farley as bus driver in an uncredited role. And... Steve... And don't forget to rate, subscribe, tell your friends, follow us on TikTok. And please don't spoil the movie. Instagram, please don't spoil the movie. Or please don't spoil. And we're also on Pinterest if you want to follow us there. Love us. Totally. Talk about us. Tell your friends. So, next up, what? We meet the dad, Brian. We're introduced to Billy's father, Brian, who is the complete opposite of Billy. He actually seems competent. And he is a multi-million dollar hotel mogul. He's like the Hilton in this movie. He owns Madison Hotels. And he's getting old. He's getting up in age. And he's been meeting with a lot of his business consultants. And he is looking to hand over the company to somebody. Ideally, for whatever reason, he wants to hand it over to his son. Crazy idea. But he is now at the point where he's like, okay, my son's a fucking idiot. I can't give it to him. So I may have to give it to somebody else. And who that someone else is... No other than the one, the only Eric Gordon, who is, I think he's like the vice president of the company, and he's a weasel. Also, who is in on the conversations between like who should take over the company is Carl, which is like Brian's like a right-hand man. He's like chief of operations. I love how I... In the movie, Billy calls Carl crazy Carl. He's just the most neutral guy in the world. He's just so calm. He's just so calm. Crazy Carl! Right, and he actually takes up for Billy, which is also stupid. The nicest man ever. So, Billy is doing what Billy does. He's being an idiot. He's being a buffoon. And Brian has some business associates come to town, come to the house. They're having dinner. These are his stakeholders. He's like, freaking board members and for whatever reason he invites billy to the dinner with all of his business associates and of course billy billy being billy he's a buffoon and he makes an ass of himself and of his father at this dinner table he's speaking gibberish He refuses to talk in English. He's only talking in his own personal language. He's drunk. He's irate. And at this point, Brian has to dismiss his son. And this is where Brian's kind of like, okay, you can't run this company because you're clearly not all there. Something's wrong with you. Brian, after the dinner and after speaking with his two right-hand man, Eric and Carl- He's like, I don't know what to do. He comes to a decision and he sits them all down, including Billy. He tells Billy, I'm handing the company over to Eric because he knows how to do the business. He cares. And this dinner was your last chance and you messed it up. At this point, Eric's excited. I honestly think Eric should get the company, but that's a whole different story. In the beginning. The whole time. In the beginning. Eric is not the villain. He later turns out to be one. Later. But in the beginning... Eric's like, yeah, your half-brained son does not need to be running this company and it's 61,000 employees. You, for whatever reason, have this delusional idea of allowing your freaking damn near brain-dead son run this company because for whatever reason you just want to live on this legacy. He is an idiot. He will tank your company and it's 61,000 employees. Do you not care about that? I am on Eric's side. And then Carl's like, Billy's not that dumb. It's like, hello. He was speaking gibberish at the dinner table. Right. 20 minutes ago. I'm not convinced he knows how to read. He actually doesn't know how to read. I just think he memorized. He doesn't know how to spell rock. He just remembered a lot of words.
UNKNOWN:Right.
SPEAKER_01:i carl is playing the long game i am on eric's side like i if i can't if i give a fuck about company and you're gonna give it to your dumb son it would be the start of my villain story as well i mean this this is the start of eric's origin story yeah literally i'm not mad at him but yeah at the sit down um Brian tells Billy that I'm getting to come in over to Eric. Eric's ecstatic. Billy's like, what? What are you doing? For whatever reason, he's shocked. He's stunned. He's like, how could you do this to me? Mouth drop. The dad is like, yeah, it's over. It's not happening. Billy chases after his father. He's like, please give me a second chance. Somebody get on the topic of school. He was like, I went to school. I'm smart. He was like, I was able to graduate high school. If I can do that, I can run a company. And then the dad's like, you didn't graduate, you idiot. I paid everybody off. And he's like, oh. What did Brian expect? Oh, he does say, like, I thought that if you made it through high school, you would go to college, you would become a smart kid. That's not how that goes, Brian. You're a terrible father. Yeah, you can't, like... He just throw money at the situation. Yeah, you can't freaking hand-hold this kid all of his life, and then when he's 18, be like, oh, I think you can handle it now. Also, why do you think... Okay, I'll give him maybe 25. Why do you think he can run a company at 25? He's 27. 27. Yeah, exactly. That's so young. The villain in this story is the father. I hate this man. He's like, I so desperately want my idiotic son to run this company. He puts flaming dog shit on people's doorsteps. Disgusting. As a 27 year old. He scoops up shit. Did you see that scene? Puts it in a brown paper bag. He scooped it up, puts it in a brown paper bag, lights it on fire, places it on someone's lawn, and then lights it on fire. And he does that on the daily. It's not funny. He's brain dead, damn near. He's one step away from being a vegetable. But yes, Brian is telling him, I pay for schooling. What are you talking about? And then Billy was like, you know what? I can prove myself. Allow me to prove myself. I will go back to school from first grade to high school. I'll start
SPEAKER_00:all over.
SPEAKER_01:I'll start over again. I'll do each grade in two weeks. And if I pass all of the grades, I get, I get the company. And Brian is like, that's an excellent idea. He's like, yes, that's what we'll do. You have two weeks to pass every grade. And if you do, you get the company, not Eric. He's such a good dad that he's a terrible dad. He, yeah, like at this point, you should not be putting this much faith into your son.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Like you're putting way too much faith. You should be putting faith into him that he can like open up like a skateboard shop. You should, right. You should help him find his passion. Yeah. Like, oh, I'll give you the money to open up a video arcade store. Right. We can do that. Not run. Yeah. my multi-million dollar company with 61,000 employees that will now be unemployed if I give you one day of being in charge. And of course, Eric is like, Brian, hold your horses. Are you sure? You want to leave Madison Hotels and its 61,000 employees in the hands of your son via this game? I think this is more important to that. Madison Hotel is in your 61,000 hotels. And he's like, no, it's not. And I'm just like, okay. This is why I'm on Eric's side. Let me work for a company for so and so years that I become the vice president and you're thinking about stepping down and you're going to give it to your dog shit throwing son? I don't think so. That's why he pulled out that gun. That's why he pulled out that gun. Stress induced. I hope he wins the lawsuit. Poor Eric. He's been driven to it. Right. White man on the edge. Ambition.
UNKNOWN:It's crazy.
SPEAKER_01:so Carl sets it all up he's gonna set up Billy go to I don't even understand is Carl the fucking secretary what do you mean he's the chief of operations this is part of the operations he sets up for Carl I mean for Billy to go to a new fucking grade every two weeks so he's starting from ground zero I'm surprised he didn't start in kindergarten he really should have started there but he starts in first grade So come Monday, he's starting all over again. It's Monday. He's got his lunch packed. First day of school. He's getting on the bus. He arrives and the first person he meets is Miss Veronica Vaughn. She's not the first grade teacher. She's the third grade teacher. He's interested in her. He thinks she's hot. She thinks he's an idiot. And more will come from these two later. She's not with the shits. And I like that about her. And I wish she'd have kept that energy. Anyone with the right brain would have known to stay away from him. I wonder how much money Billy's dad gave to that school to be like, Yeah, he can definitely do that for sure. Enough to probably buy the school. Enough to probably buy the school. So he makes his way to the first grade classroom. He introduces himself to Miss Lippy, who is the first grade teacher, and she introduces the entire class to Billy. And this is it. He's doing this? Yes. We're doing this. Right, we're doing this. So to sum up first grade for Billy... He hears a story about a dog. He's having a great time. The puppy who lost his way. The puppy who lost his way, yes. He's very invested in the story. His fellow classmates have fallen asleep. He's pissed off at the kid because somehow the kid lost the dog. And he's like, if you have a dog, you have responsibilities. You can't just give up on finding your dog. Yeah, he's like, this kid in this puppy story only looked for the dog for like an hour. If you have a dog, you need to get your ass up and look for the damn dog. There's a dodgeball scene. Billy goes to play dodgeball with the kids. At first, he's a little shy because he gets out in like the first five seconds, but he comes back with a vengeance and he's coming back and he's throwing dodgeball full force at a bunch of kids. And it's hilarious. I love when adults are mean to kids. It's my favorite joke in movies. That's interesting. No, I love it. It's hilarious. There's like, there used to be this one TikTok. She took no one on it. I think it was like a TikTok or video. It was like this guy is yelling at someone. He was like, you da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And then they turned the camera. It was like a little kid. But it made to believe it's like the, I don't know, like his landlord or something. I just love it. It's so funny. And then like he's having the time of his life. There's one scene he's eating glue. Did you see that? Oh yeah, of course. Have you ever eaten glue? Will people eat glue? No. I like to put glue on my hand and do the sticky thing. Oh yeah, put glue on your hand and then peel it off. Yeah, I just love that. But yeah, he's having a time of his life. He's doing great. The teacher, what's her name? Miss Lippy. Miss Lippy's having a time of her life. I don't think she really knows what's going on fully because I'm not sure if that lady is sober fully. I can't tell if that's life, mushrooms. She definitely has a little
SPEAKER_00:bit of hippie in
SPEAKER_01:her. Yeah. She definitely has a little bit of hippie in her. Yeah. She is what you think of a first grade teacher, but like to the max. But yeah, all's well and is well. Billy passes the first grade. Woo! And to celebrate such a great accomplishment, his dad throws him a birthday party. Which to me... Shows how much the dad doesn't give a fuck. Because, like, why would you throw a birthing party for that? Like, whose idea was that? It's just weird. Yeah. And it's strange. Extravagant. There's clowns. There's Rolexes. People on stilts. There's magicians. There's balloons. There's face paint. It's like as if, like, a seven-year-old is, like, turning. There's Rolexes. And, like, the. Yeah, there's, like, pinatas. Inside the pinatas, there's Rolexes. It's crazy. Yeah. It's wild. While they're at the party, Eric is looking around and he's like trying to come up with a way to ruin Billy's chances. So he could get the company because this doesn't make any sense for him. And he deserves a spot. And I agree with you, Eric. Yeah. What the fuck? I mean, it's just like this is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. How am I supposed to be rooting for Billy right now? Like Eric, I am worried about them 61,000 employees. And you know what? When I watched it, I was like, Eric's so terrible. Watch it again now. I'm just like, he's a little justified. He's justified. He's justified. All of his reasonings. All of his reasonings. I would have pulled out that gun too. In my head, Eric came from a poor background. He had to fight his way through college. He started bottom up as an intern at this company to vice president. And he's finally made it where he wanted to be. And he's like, I'm going to get to my son. Yeah. I don't think he... came up poor i think he probably went to like harvard um but i do think yeah he he still deserves the company i feel like carl is more like carl started as a bellhop they said that carl did start as a bellhop i what i like about carl i feel like carl knows the way of the world and he was never that invested in his company because he's like he gonna give it to his son no matter what And, you know, that ain't none of my business. Yeah, Carl's like, I'm just here. I started off as a bellhop. I'm just lucky to still be the chief of operations now. Carl has inner peace. He does. And I hope to have that. Just like, yeah. If you want your son to have it, I'll make that happen. If you want Eric to happen, sure or not. If you want me to have it, even better. He's just inner peace. I don't give a fuck. He's like, I'm over 55. I'm five years away from retirement. Let's all be, let's all be Carl. Right. Carl's just looking around. He's like, I'm just happy to be here. I'm just happy to be here. So the party is bumping and Billy has now passed one level. Hip hip hooray. Now it's on the second grade. Now he's in second grade. All he has to do is like complete this like spelling bee thing. all he has to do is spell couch correctly and he passes the second grade and he stumbles on that and not before the word couch trips him up not before bullying the last finalist in the spelling bee contest with himself yeah he's like he's so mean he's such a bully he is he's such like a douche he's such a douche he's like making fun of her she her word was couch She misspells couch. Now it's his turn to spell couch. And he also cannot spell couch. I could remember. You just got in her ass for not spelling couch. I couldn't remember if he was going to spell it right or not. I was like, does he spell it right? Barely. Yeah, barely. Because I thought it was like, oh, is this why he runs off? I couldn't remember. So yes, Billy passes the second grade. Now he's in third grade. Who teaches third grade? Now, we are introduced back to Miss Veronica Vaughn, who is Billy's third grade teacher, who he met on the first day of first grade. And Veronica Vaughn is not with his ship. Not with his ship. She knows exactly who he is. She thinks it's sad and pathetic that his daddy is paying for him to redo school just to... i would have to prove what do what who knows who cares but she's not into it she thinks he's a spoiled little nepo baby who has nothing to offer and i agree with her i stand with veronica bond in the beginning i was reading for her so um billy enters the classroom veronica even apologizes to the students and she's like this is bully billy he will only be here for two weeks he is a nuisance sorry for the inconvenience and he's like tough crowd tough crowd did we ever discuss we don't know we haven't discussed but can we discuss the fact that it is inappropriate for an adult to be around children and i think we should all be a little more concerned yeah we should be genuinely concerned like absolutely not i don't think this movie would have been able to pitch in today's age I know it'd be crazy it was hilarious there's like one scene where like he's getting like love letters from like the girls in third grade and he's like looking at all of them and he's like oh shucks thanks Christine right thanks Sally and they're like eight yeah it's fucking weird no and then has he ever heard of a G-R-E is it G-R-E yeah no it's G-E-D G-E-D have you ever heard of a G-E-D yeah I guess not. But he don't even have to do this. He has a high school diploma. You ain't lying. But anywho. So, third grade is where it's at for Billy. This is where he shines the most. This is where he hangs out the longest. This is where he makes his lifelong friends. This is where he cements his relationship with these kids. Third grade is his year. He peaks in the third grade. He peaks in the third grade. We're introduced to some of the kids. We're introduced to Ernie, a fellow third grader. Ernie is the cutest fucking little boy ever. He is so adorable. That freaking haircut. Freaking haircut and those freaking glasses. And that freaking voice. Oh, my God. He's so adorable. Oh, my God. When I was watching it, I was like, oh, my God. I do not remember this kid being this freaking precious. He's so precious. He's so freaking adorable. He's a star. Where is he? He is adorable. I looked him up on Instagram and everything. I was like, I hope this little boy is doing well. Oh, how's he doing? It looks like he's in the film industry still, but kind of like the back of house, kind of. Yeah. Precious, precious little boy. I was doing some research, and I found this TikTok talking about the movie. And in the TikTok, they had a picture of Ernie with the guy who plays Jack. Billy's stupid, like one of Billy's stupid friends. Yeah. And he just looked so adorable in the picture. He was just like... I was just like, oh my God, why is he so adorable? He just looked like such an innocent, precious little baby. Right. God, I'm obsessed with him. I think it's so... The idea of child actors is funny because you have to get a child to be serious about something. And I love that. It's also fucked up. But I just think it's such a cute idea when you meet a child and they're like... They be acting and they be dead ass and they have to be serious. And I need you to be for real when you do this. Yeah, I need you to be for real. You hear me, Ernie? I just think it's... It's just so funny It's precious So we're introduced to Ernie We're introduced to Ernie That's like Billy's bud They hang out, they kick it Ernie's at the house Playing video games and shit Even though it's like really weird Ernie, Billy hang out at the mansion. Billy even gets Ernie to call up Miss Vaughn to see if she likes anybody in the class and if that she would date anybody in the class. And Miss Vaughn is like, no, y'all are all children. And Ernie's like, well, what about Billy? And Miss Vaughn's like, Ernie, you're a bigger adult than him. You blew it! You blew it! It's just funny, the thought, because in the scene, you can't tell me that Billy thinks that Veronica knows that he's talking about Billy. You know what I'm saying? You can't tell me that Veronica doesn't know that Ernie is asking for Billy? No, I wholeheartedly believe Billy... thinks that he's keeping like... Oh, he's being coy. I'm not here. Right, right, right. Veronica, I'm not on the other line. Right, like she knows that you're asking about the one adult in class. Exactly. You blew it. You blew it. I did not blow it. You blew it with your life. Exactly. So, one day, Ms. Vaughn is sick and... The kids have a substitute come in, and the substitute just so happens to be the principal, Principal Anderson. And he is a chubby, sweaty, shell of a man. Seems like a really sweet guy, though. Sweetheart. Just, you know, awkward and glasses and corny. yeah exactly so he comes in he substitutes for the students for Miss Vaughn and we'll talk more about him later just know that he's got the hots for Billy he does next scene that we have in third grade Billy goes on a field trip with a bunch of kids I don't know where the fuck they're going. Maybe some, like, um... It's like they're going to, like, some, like, industrial, like... It looks like they're going to, like, the Pilgrim's House or something. Yeah. Something like that. Like, one of, like, the original, like, 13 colonies. Yeah. Some shit like that. Something like that. They're, like, going to, like, Jamestown or something. So while on the bus, Billy's hanging with his third-grade friends that he's really bonded with. And one of the kids... Double dog dares him to touch the teacher's, Veronica's, breast on the bus. I dare you to touch Ms. Vaughn's boobie. And I was surprised with his first reaction, which was, I don't have consent or something like that. Because I can't do that without asking. I was surprised he said that. That was big for Billy. Yeah, that was big for Billy. But then he was like, do you double dog dare me? And the guy was like, yeah. So he goes up to Veronica. He pretends to trip on her. And she goes something about like, go sit back down. I double dog dare you. Letting him know that she heard that he was double dog dare to touch her boobs. And after that, the two hit it off. And I do not understand it. It was like such a... It was a huge switch. Even when he went up there to touch her tit, she like laughed it off. She was like, it's okay, Billy. Go sit down. I double dog dare you. I didn't... So... I was like, what? This quickly? So, like, after that, the kids are off playing and interacting with the field trip. And those two are back talking. And Veronica, to me, is just like, I've been loving you ever since you touched my boob. I don't know what's happening. No, it's, like, literally, like, the next day, she's just, like, flirting with him. And they're walking on the field trip. And she's like... I'm just trying not to hold you to a higher standard than the other kids, even though I should. Wink, wink. You hated him two days ago. Did someone call you and tell his daddy's nothing word? You know what I think happened? Exactly. She Googled. Google wasn't around then. She... Whatever you did back in 95. She looked him up. She asked around. She asked around. She called around. She called around and said, you know what? I actually probably really need to lock in because this dude is about to be heir to the Madison Hotel fortune. And this is my way out of here. This is my meal ticket. So let me stop playing hard to get and start locking in. because it happens overnight like she literally on the field trip she's like hey like I think I like you what would have made more sense is okay so the next scene Billy's best friend what's his name Ernie Ernie pees his pants Billy notices and he pours fountain water on his pants and then shows everyone that he quote unquote peed his pants and how cool it is and Ernie turns around he peed his pants and all the kids are like oh my god you're so cool oh my god Ernie peed his pants too what would have made more sense is after that Veronica was like oh that's cool of you but she liked him before that yeah it would have made more sense if after the fact that Billy you know stood up for Ernie and you know helped him in this moment that could have been really embarrassing and detrimental to his development as a Fucking eight-year-old. Then she would have been like, oh, you're not so bad. Like, you have, you know, mature, you know, nurturing side to you. Yes. But she was feeling him before that. She was feeling him on the double dog dare you. Yeah, she was feeling him when he tripped. When he got on the bus. Faked tripped and touched her boobie. So weird. Strange. I don't get it. Why does, why does, where is Farley in his career by this time? um Chris Farley is currently filming is it Tommy Boy with uh David Spade okay so this is like before he hits it big almost is Tommy Boy his big break oh I don't know Chris Farley's freaking I know you be knowing random stuff is he on SNL yes I don't know if he's still on SNL but he was on SNL um but by the way he's a bus driver he's hilarious I mean, he only did like five movies before he died. Shout out to Chris Farley, R.I.P. R.I.P. I'll never forget. I didn't watch this documentary, but I saw this commercial for this documentary that was about Chris Farley. And, you know, his co-star, David Spade, who was in Tommy Boy with him. it was so sad I was like oh my god I was like ugh I can tell that he really means this and he said about Chris Farley he was like there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and there never will be a day where I don't think about him I was like ugh that's so sad I was like oh my god that broke me he said there's never been a day that I don't think about him and there will never be a day when I don't think about him that's so sad And it's just like watching that movie with them. Because, you know, they hate each other. They love each other so much, though. I know. So sad. R.I.P. Shout out to Chris Farley. What we almost would have gotten was him as Shrek. That would have been crazy. That would have been crazy. Because he didn't have a Scottish accent when he did. Right. He wasn't supposed to be Scottish at first. Right. He was crazy times like the butterfly. Right. Anywho, bus trip goes amazing, I guess. Some hiccups. Chris Farley eats everyone's lunch with his with Billy Madison's two friends, which I don't know how they got there. Exactly. Don't know how they got there, but they somehow got there on the field trip, too. And they were eating all the kids lunches along with Chris Farley's character. But yeah. school bus goes well billy passes the third grade and once again he has a party everyone's attendance and attendance all the school kids including veronica which she's very excited to see um so veronica comes the party as she's having a great time it's a party's winding down billy introduces um Veronica to his tent that he has in his backyard. This is where he lives for the time being so he can focus on his studies because in the big old mansion there's so many people that come and go with the staff and his father's friends. It's just too noisy in the 15 room house. He must stay in the tent outside. The 20,000 square mansion is just too overwhelming. So I set up a fucking tent in the backyard. I always thought that was the most random thing ever. It was actually pretty on brand for him. Really? Yeah. Okay. I mean, you very well could just have your own wing of the house, but sure. You do act like a three-year-old, so I could understand why you would want a fort tent as your house. He's glamping. He was the original glamper. That's true. So he takes... Miss Veronica Vaughn into his backyard tent where he resides. He's showing her around. She's flirting back with him. I don't know who this woman is anymore. I don't recognize her. She turns so
SPEAKER_02:quickly.
SPEAKER_01:She just turns so quickly. She's flirting with him. He's an idiot. And just when they get close enough, they're all cozy and comfortable with each other. They're just about to kiss. and enters Carl to kill the moon. And Carl tells Billy, look, Billy boy, I think Eric is up to something. He's got this conniving little look in his eye. He was doing his evil little laugh. I think he's trying to take you down in some way. And Billy's like, oh, gee, thanks for letting me know. But I was about to make out with this hot chick, and you really interrupted that. So I don't really care what you have to say. Carl's playing the long game. Carl is playing the long game. He not dumb. Carl's like, I just want my pension. I don't care. Carl wants to be the head of the company. He knows he's got to make nice with Billy. Maybe so. I'm watching you, Carl. I'm watching you. Next, we get a montage of Billy passing... Like the fourth, sixth, seventh grade. All up to the eighth. The whole time we see like Eric keeping track of the grades that he passes. And then like angrily poking holes and like pictures of Billy because he's pissed off. Yeah. That he's succeeding. So at this point, it is Billy's eighth grade grade. party celebration. He's made it to 8th grade. He's passed it. His next grade is 9th grade. He's on his way to high school. High school. At the party, Eric, who has been trying to find a reason to get Billy out of this competition so Eric can take over the company, spots Max. We might have spotted him a couple parties ago. Principal Anderson. Yeah, Principal Anderson. um max principal and he finally is a he's like trying to initiate his plan so he sees that the principal goes to the bathroom he follows him and he's like hey you ever see this edition of i don't know like wrestling wrestlemania wrestle 292 and to this it peaks max's the principal's ears because he turns around he's like where'd you get that where'd you get that He's like, I subscribe to the magazine. And Eric's like, yeah, I have a subscription. I have a subscription. And he's like, there's this really interesting article in here about this guy, this wrestler from the 80s, and how he was called the Human Torch, and he sat on this guy's head and murdered him. You know anything about that? max confesses it's like it was a planned stunt please don't tell me it wasn't supposed to happen that way he was supposed to hit my leg if he was running out of air and eric's like i don't give a shit this is what you're gonna do for me he tells principal anderson that look you're gonna get on the news and you're gonna make a public statement and you're gonna say that If Billy Madison bribed you to pass every grade and that he didn't actually earn those grades, he didn't actually pass the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, or sixth, seventh, eighth grade, he was paying you. A thousand dollars per grade. Or I'm taking this shit to the news. I'm telling everybody that you're a murderer. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. Those kids are my world. And he's like, Eric's like, okay, we'll do what I say. I love Max. And now, poor Principal Anderson is being blackmailed. Why do you keep on calling him Max? His first name is Max. Who knows that? That's what I call him. I don't know. Why do you keep calling him Anderson? Because he's Principal Anderson. That's what everybody calls him. He's not my principal. We're the same age. He murdered someone. Okay. I love how he's like, I love the kids. I'm like, that's so adorable. He's like, you can't. Those kids are my life. I'm like, aw. That's so sweet. Poor baby. So while that is going on in the background, Billy begins high school. Back in his day when he was in high school. I just want to mention before he goes to high school, sweet baby Ernie and the rest of his friends are like, oh, Billy, you're going to high school now. You're going to forget about us. Us silly little third graders. Fuck yeah. And I was just like, oh, we can't forget about Ernie. That's it. I just love Ernie. Unfortunately, he won't forget about y'all. He needs to. Y'all need to forget about him. when they're 27 they were like do you remember that guy who came to grammar school who came to our third grade class for like two weeks that was fucking weird that was so weird they're gonna be they're gonna trauma dump something like that um but yes first day of high school back in billy's day he was a king of high school he had a great time he was number one fuck the fuck the studies I was here for the popularity. So he thinks that his first day of high school or his two weeks of high school are going to go exactly the same. He rolls up on the first day in his red Mercedes. Who knows what it is? Sports car. He's playing music loud. He is very handsome as Adam Sandler, a young Adam Sandler. He pops his collar. He gets out the car. He thinks he looks cool. But everyone's like, ew, laughing at him, which is a lie. There's no way. that a 27 year old which is disgusting comes to high school and the girl in a sports car and Adam Satter looks the way he does and no one none of the girls are swooning stop it yeah that's that's actually yeah that's unlikely like a 14 15 year old girl would be like oh my god a boy he's so much older he drives a sports car he's so good looking right like seriously there's no way that he's not cool yeah he should be he should be And he's rich. Like, come on. Hello. And he's handsome. Yeah. But for whatever reason, this second round of high school just isn't working for Billy. He's being bullied. People are putting manure in his locker. He's getting orange juice and slushies poured on his head. This is not going good for him. It's not going good. He's in class and no one wants to sit next to him. Even the nerds, the real nerds are like, yeah, we're the kids who they used to bully before you got here. So thanks for coming because now we get a break. You're welcome. So because his first day of school went so terribly, Billy goes to visit his old friends in third grade, Veronica and, you know, all the gang. He's like, hey, guys. Just checking in. I got fourth period free or whatever the fuck. And I just missed you guys. And they're like, oh, it's high school. He's like, oh, it's great. And one of the kids goes, I can't wait till I go to high school. And Billy grabs him and he's like, don't you ever say that. Don't you ever go there. Cherish these moments. It's a bad, bad place over there. Scares the shit out of the kid. Veronica takes Billy outside and she's like, what is going on? I don't know why you're freaking out. I don't know what's going on. Billy's like, I want to drop out. High school's not for me. I want to come back. I want to drop out. I'm over this. Veronica reminds him, stop being a fucking baby. We got money on the line. My future's riding on this. You only got a couple weeks left. stopping a baby push through she really not like you poor thing she's like get over it come on yeah and Billy's like you're right before he leaves Veronica says something along the lines of like it's not nice being bullied is it you should how are you back when you were in high school and he's like yeah I was the bully in fact he was the bully so that night he goes home And he decides to make his wrongs right. He tries to rectify his wrongs. And he goes down the list of all of the people that he bullied in high school. And he comes across, I forgot his name.
SPEAKER_00:Danny.
SPEAKER_01:No. Danny McGrath. He calls him up. And he's like, hey, is this Danny McGrath? And Danny McGrath is like, yeah, this is Danny McGrath. I graduated in 1984 from Ridge Lake High School. He's like, yeah, this is me. He's like, well, this is Billy Madison. You know, I just want to apologize for all the mean things that I did to you when we were in high school. And Danny's like, oh, sure. OK, that's fine. Billy's like, really? You're okay? Like, you forgive me? And he's like, yeah, man. Like, you know, water under the bridge. Thanks for the phone call. And then Billy's like, okay, thanks, Danny. Well, take care. He's like, you too. You too. And so Danny hangs up the phone. We see Danny now turn around. And behind him is a list that says people to kill. And on that list is Billy Madison. And he takes a red Sharpie and scratches out the name Billy Madison. He is no longer on Danny's hit list because Danny had every intention of murdering him. He played it cool on the phone. But Danny was out to kill. I don't know when he's like, do you remember me? He's like, not really. He's like, yeah, not really.
UNKNOWN:Sure.
SPEAKER_01:I read that the list of the people, like, the other people on the list were, like, names of crew members. Oh. That's good, at least. That's good, at least. The guy, I don't know. What's his name, the guy that plays? Uh... Sure, what is his name? Steve... Basami, or something like that. So, you know when they did that little, on TikTok, they were doing that cake thing where it's just like, hear me out? It's a cake thing, but it's like... It was like people had a cake and they would... Oh, and they would put who their hear-me-outs were on the cake. Okay, yeah, dude. He's my hear-me-out. Really? You had to watch The Sopranos. That's disgusting, actually. He's so... Oh, my God. To me, The Sopranos... He's always looked sickly. Like, he's always looked like he has, like, the suds. But, like... Right. But on The Sopranos, he just plays like a badass. He's in a mob. He just got out of prison. Ew. You have to hear me out. His eyes are like bulgy and buggy. No, on The Sopranos, you have to watch it. Also, Tony Soprano is another hear me out. I'm disgusting, actually. George, you're sick. It's the power. It's the money and the power. He weighs like 115 pounds. It's something about him sometimes when he's not a complete psycho. No times is there anything about him. Hey, it's a hear me out. You can't judge me. You can't yuck my yum. Sick word. Whatever. He's such a good actor. Different strokes for different films. Where was he in his career when he did this movie? He's such a good actor. I don't know because I always thought his claim to fame was being in Adam Sandler movies and it wasn't until maybe like Five or six years ago, I realized he has a career of his own where he did many other things outside of Adam Sandler movies. He was a decent character on Sopranos. Yeah. He's done many things. I was like, oh, I didn't know that. He's a really good actor. He does a lot of shit. I like actors who don't put themselves in a box. They do funny things. They do serious things. They do TV shows. They do movies. Right. I mean, I think it's easier. He's in Monsters, Inc. He's fucking Spy Kids. He's in Spy Kids? He's a... Oh, the inventor. He put his inventor in number two. Yep. That's what the fuck he wants. In his creations. Yeah. It's true. Well, he's not going to kill Billy anytime soon. I love how at the end he puts on like red lipstick I'm like what is that about yeah at the end he puts on red lipstick and we're like oh yeah you're a confirmed crazy person like if the hit list wasn't enough the fucking lipstick is taking it all away I wonder if he like what was his plan did he have a master plan or was it like it's on site if I see you you're done I think it was just gonna be like a serial killer spring yeah he lucky he didn't start it off like because it doesn't sound like no one else's name was crossed off or taken like oh check kill right yeah so i was wondering what he's gonna do it he's probably you know mustering up the courage first but billy lives to see another day so remember everyone go to apologize go apologize if you believe anyone i i must say this this one scene Is the reason why I have apologized to my past victims of my bullying. Now granted, okay, before y'all come for me, I understand bullying is wrong. That was in 2005, 6, 7, okay? And I was in like the fourth grade, okay? So before y'all try to crucify me. And I have rectified my wrongs. I made my apologies. It was only one person. That's right. Okay. Wasn't a multitude of people. Just one person that I needed to apologize to. And because of this movie, this movie, this very scene inspired me to do it because I was like, I don't want to die. Yeah. She's like, I don't want to die. And like, obviously what I do is grow up. She's like, I don't want to die. This very scene is the reason why I apologized. Yeah. It's good to apologize. And just like Dani, she was very nonchalant. She was like, oh my God, girl. It's whatever. It's whatever. I was like, were you going to kill me right because it's like was it because when I look back on it was pretty fucking bad she's like oh my god like like I don't care like you're totally fine I was like oh my god am I in your head looks like you're worrying me right now don't play it off honey because it was a lot like we could I could take you to lunch right and I would also like to preface one more time I was in the fourth grade so I didn't know any better she she's come a long way I've come a long way One could even say that I've been bullied myself in adulthood. Oh, there you go. Karma. There's my karma. There's Michael Muppets. Oh, Jesus. So yes, Billy is, you know, he's doing better. He's trying to do his school. He's apologizing for his past. But unfortunately, when you start going up, Someone's going to bring you down sometimes. Him, his buddies, his dad, they're sitting, they're hanging out. A news report comes on live from McKinley High. I don't know. We're here with Principal Max. What's his last name? Anderson. Anderson. And he's got something to say. Principal Anderson gets on there. It's like a press conference. There's cameras everywhere. There's microphones. There's reporters. And he makes this public statement. And he says that... billionaire millionaire billy madison has paid me a lump sum of a thousand dollars each grade i pass him he didn't actually qualify to pass these grades he just bribed me and he has been coasting through this and i must let this be known and he looks in the camera and he says i'm sorry billy That would have fucked me in the head. Fucked me up in the head if I was Billy. Because not only he knows that you know you're lying and he's apologizing. It's like no one else knows that he's lying but you know that he's lying and he's saying I'm sorry to you on this camera while he's lying about you. I'm sorry. And he looks so fucking pathetic. I'm sorry, Billy. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Billy. So Brian, the dad, watches this and he's like, all right, it's over. You're done. The agreement is over. Clearly, he thinks his son, Billy, is doing what, you know, Brian did as a dad to get, you know, him through high school and elementary school. And Billy's like... Dad, you have to believe me. You don't believe me. Like, this is a crock of shit. You have to believe me. And then Brian's like, I don't believe you. And he's like, Eric gets the company. The gig, the deal, the bet, the game is off. And this causes Billy to spiral. and to slip back into his old ways Eric of course is like ecstatic he's like my plan worked he's happy go lucky he's like well this worked out perfectly for me and Billy is spiraling he's going back to his old ways he's drinking he's sleeping until 4pm he's once again lighting dog shit on fire and putting it on people's doorsteps and one night he gets incredibly drunk and incredibly plastered and he shows up at Veronica's house and he He's drunk, and he's like, hey, baby, let me in. And Veronica's like, seriously? Like, why are you doing this? Why are you acting like this? Like, don't you want to prove your innocence? I know that you didn't do this. So, like, why are you letting this just happen to you? And Billy's like, there's nothing for me to do. And Veronica's like, I thought you were better than this. And he's clearly not. Obviously, Veronica. I don't know. I don't get her. I don't get her. Why are you so invested in this man? He can't read. Shit. I know he's rich, but damn, girl, have some class. Right, come on. Have some freaking standards. So, Billy goes on his way. He goes back to his house to get drunk, plastered, whatever. The next day, Veronica pulls up at his mansion. He's... In, like, the pool area, drunk on the floor. There's food, cans of beer everywhere. She pulls him up. She wakes him up. And she says, I need to talk to you. She pulls him by the chest, by his shirt, and she punches him in the face. He goes flying into the pool. She hops into the pool, and she punches him again. She's beating the crap out of him. And he's like, why are you doing this to me? And she's like... why are you letting this just happen to you why are you rolling over and letting Eric just take the company this is supposed to be my bread and butter you're supposed to be my she doesn't say this but she's speaking it she's like why are you letting this happen to you and he's like there's literally nothing for me to do and she's like you're better than this she's like the Billy who I know would not allow this to happen to him and I guess he has like a change of heart and he's like you're right babe I must finish 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade and take back the company from Eric. And he does what any sane adult will do. Breast out in song. We've got a musical number. Got a musical number. I don't know how it goes. But everyone's there. Everyone's singing. The kids are there. The third graders are there. Ernie is there. His beloved staff member is there. I forgot what her name is. Black lady that he loves so dearly. She's there. She's there. But yeah, this song motivates him and rallies the troops. So Billy's former classmates, the people from third and fourth grade or whatever, they go to the principal's house, Principal Anderson, and they go, why did you lie about Billy? Billy said that you're lying. So are you lying or is Billy lying? And the principal's like, And because he loves those sweet, precious children so much, he mustn't tell a lie. And he goes back to the news, goes back to the reporters, goes back to the cameras, and says that he lied about lying about Billy. And that he, in fact, did pass those grades. He did pass those tests and that he was lying about Billy. And the reason is, is because he was being blackmailed because he didn't want news to get out that he is the wrestler that killed a man by sitting on his head 10 years ago. We've all been there. Been there. You know how that goes. That old chestnut. And so he reveals all of this in this episode. press conference that he has. I don't know why this is, like, national news. Or, like, even local news. Local news. I mean, it's gotta be messy. Did y'all hear that Billy Madison, the Madison name is sending his child back to elementary school? Now that's newsworthy. That part. Well, you know, it's gotta start somewhere. We're following the story. I guess. So, now, Billy's like, he turns to his dad. He's like, Dad, did you see the news? And he's like, yeah, I saw it. And he's like, okay, you believe me now? And Brian is like, well, I guess you're right. You know, who are we to believe? You know, he lied then. He might be lying now. He might be telling the truth now. He was lying then. So, yeah, I think we should go back. The deal's back on. You can finish the first.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, no.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm being, sorry, I'm being Eric. Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Sorry.
SPEAKER_01:Sorry. I knew what you were doing, but I stopped because my brain kind of glitched, but whatever. So Brian is like, okay, the game deal, the bet is back on. And Eric's like, the fuck it ain't. Are you kidding me? The deal was that he passed each grade in the two weeks.
SPEAKER_00:He
SPEAKER_01:didn't do that.
SPEAKER_00:Hence,
SPEAKER_01:the company is now mine. And Brian's like, yeah, but... And then Eric's like, yeah, but shut the hell up, Brian. Stop listening to your crap. Okay? Is the company mine or not? And Brian's like... No, you can't talk to me like that. And then Eric's like, well, I'll see your old ass in court. Hell yeah. I'll see you in fucking court, motherfucker, because this don't make no sense. And Billy says, you know what, Eric? Why don't we handle this mano y mano? Without the lawyers. Yeah, without the lawyers, without two weeks of me going through all of this crap, let's have a triathlon? Academic decathlon. A decathlon. You know. Reading, math, English, arithmetic, chemistry. Sports, college. All the fundamentals. And whoever wins gets the company. And is like, okay, yeah, I can totally do that because you're stupid. Like you're going, whatever. Piece of cake. Eric's like, yeah, totally, we can do that. Sign me up. I would be like, fuck no, I'm just going to sue you. Fuck off. I was like, no, that seems like a lot of work. I'm actually tired of this. I've been doing a lot of plotting and scheming and now I don't feel like doing this. A lawsuit would be much easier. See you in small claims court. Small. I'm going for millions, honey. Large claims court. So after this, we get a montage of Billie training, learning stuff. Veronica's coming over and she's quizzing him on Facts and numbers and dates. The Spanish Armada. He's learning how to sew. Yeah, he's learning how to sew. He's learning how to bake. He's learning algebra and chemistry and science and English and literature and Shakespeare. He's preparing for this decathlon. It's a montage of all of this. So in the next scene, the decathlon begins. The new reigning principal begins. gets up there, announces we're about to start. Because Max is nowhere to be found. He's gone missing. He's gone through a lot. The new reigning principal, which apparently was... Did he introduce himself as the principal? I don't know. I just always say he was a principal. I'm not really sure. I don't know what he was. Yeah, I don't know what he was. I just called him the principal. But he's, you know, he's the one facilitating the decathlon. And I think his only rule is don't sleep with my cheating wife. Or don't... Cheat. But also don't cheat. Don't cheat. Yes. Like my cheating wife. Maybe that's what he says. That's what he says. So the decathlon begins. I think the first thing they do is like math, geometry. Billy loses it terribly. Of course. We got some baking in there. Billy succeeds. Eric catches on fire, which is random, like fully on fire. Next. We have a track and field composition. I don't know why this matters. This shouldn't be a part of it. I guess that was P.E. Decathlon. It shouldn't be a part of it. It's like a track and field relay. Eric wins, which was surprising. I would have put money on Billie for that one, but whatever. Eric wins this one. Next, we have chemistry. Billie, by cheating, wins this one. I don't that one I was just like okay I get it's a joke but like why would anyone think that he would be able to pull a shoe out of out of like a test tube yeah I don't I didn't get that one I also didn't get what I didn't get what the purpose of the test was besides point then we have music a little violin a little flute Eric wins that one yeah because Billy cannot play the flute but then we have acting a little Macbeth A
SPEAKER_00:little theater. A little theater.
SPEAKER_01:Eric does well. Eric does well. But not as good as Billie. To be or not to be, that is the question. Billie puts on an award-winning performance. You think they're still teaching Shakespeare in high school? I hope so. Yeah, people are still learning. Girl, we're going to be learning about Shakespeare to the end of time. When do you start learning about the people... Not the people we grew up with, but like... Maybe Momo will, but when he started learning about dumb people. They're learning about them too. I was watching Abbott Elementary and they were like, one of the main guy from Malcolm, not Malcolm in the Middle, the main guy from Everyone Hates Chris. He had to teach a music class or whatever. And he was like, list some oldies. And the kids were like, Lil Wayne and and like all this other shit. And they were, he was like, no, like 20 years old. He was like, like the Wayne is 20 years, you know, it's an oldie. Like the oldies are changing. Right. Yeah. Is that crazy? So, yeah. I mean, soon the kids will be reading the hunger games in twilight. Yeah. Is there, I hope so. I hope so. I hope to, I hope to turn some, I would love to turn some kids onto Harry Potter. I mean, What is the literary novel of the century? I don't know. They don't have it anymore. For Gen Alpha. I'm happy to have lived through that time. Because I'm not sure if there's going to be another time where everyone was reading the same fucking book. Like Fifty Shades of Grey, everybody was reading that shit. A book. Not a show. A book. Everyone's reading the same fucking book. And that happened three times. A couple fucking times. That really happened four times. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Fifty Shades of Grey, which is random. Hunger Games. And... Twilight. Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. There you go. I was going Twilight with everybody else. Yeah. And then you had them extra ones that people, you know, floated in. Yeah, then you had those other ones that a lot of people were reading, but not like everybody was reading. Yeah. Crazy! So, Billy passes with flying colors. Fantastic. He's up by one point. He's up by one point. It is now down to like the Jeopardy round, final lightning round of this decathlon. They are playing like a Jeopardy style game and the categories are like literature. Categories? English novels, French philosophers, business ethics. That's some fun stuff. Industrial revolution. People's reaction to stepping on dog shit. Yeah, the human response to stepping on dog shit is one of the categories. A little mix. So, it's a mix of all things. Eric is down one point. Billy's in the lead by one point. Whoever wins this, takes it home. This is the winner of the company.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So, Eric gets to now pick Billy's question. His... Game buzzer winning question. And he selects... What does he select? I don't know. The Industrial Revolution. I think that's what it is. And I guess... The effects of the Industrial Revolution or something like that. Yeah. Something about the Industrial Revolution. Of course, Billy being the idiot that he is, he cannot... articulate anything about the Industrial Revolution. And this is like a star-studded event, okay? Everyone and their mama is in this auditorium watching this final round of this decathlon. Yes. Billy looks out to the audience and one of the people in the crowd is his first grade teacher, Miss Lippy. And he is inspired to now... Connect the Industrial Revolution to the story of the puppy who lost his way, which was the story that Miss Lippy told on his first day of first grade. He goes on this tangent and connects the Industrial Revolution to the puppy who could not be found because the Industrial Revolution was able to help America because America was lost. And the puppy, society, was able to get back on track because of the Industrial Revolution. Like, if you don't get it, you don't get it. You know what I'm saying? If you don't get it, you don't get it. Yeah. The crowd goes wild for this, like, stupid story, this ridiculous tangent. And the principal, the new principal, is disgusted with Billy's answer. Disgusted. He looks at Billy and tells him... That is one of the most insanely idiotic things that I've ever heard. At no point in between your incoherent rambling did you come even close to anything that could resemble a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. Billy says... A simple no would have been fine. A simple wrong would have been okay. Zero points for Billy. Okay. Now it's Eric's turn. Eric steps up to the plate. Billy gets to select what question Eric will get. Between literature and French Revolution and dog shit and the human response. Billy picks... Business ethics. What's her nickname?
UNKNOWN:Eric?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Eric, being the weasel that he is, doesn't know anything about business ethics. Even though I feel like he probably would. Because... Yeah, I feel like he could have been able to come up with a lie. Right. But because... Eric is not an ethical person. He knows nothing about business ethics. The nerve. I'm sorry. The nerve of Billy talking about an ethical person. You're getting a job because of nepotism. That's not ethical. Neither of you can give a class on ethics. Technically, we don't know what... He did try to cheat the game. But besides that, we don't know how bad Eric is when it comes to ethics. He appears to be unethical for the sake of the plot. he would have been a terrible boss but he would have deserved the job so the question posed to him about business ethics is something to the effect of with Enron going under an insider trading and companies having to adjust what is business ethics and how does it look like today and moving forward such an easy question Relatively speaking. I don't know. That's kind of like. It's like a. I don't know. Do what's right. Hello. I don't know. Follow the law. Have policies. Company culture. It's such an easy one. Comparative to industrial revolution. And its effects on today's society. I still wouldn't be able to say something about that shit. I'd be like. car manufacturer yeah I guess this has got to be the easiest one I don't know what the easiest but I guess yeah he could have you know come up with something but he's not ethical so he malfunctioned so Eric is like um business Ethics. His brain malfunctions. And he's like... And he pulls out a gun. It's funny that he brought the gun. He planned
SPEAKER_00:on using the gun. It's
SPEAKER_01:just funny that he brought the gun. He brought the gun. It's not like he... Did he plan on having... An episode? Right. If this didn't go your way, you planned on shooting this man? This is premeditated. This is premeditated. Why'd you bring the gun? Oh my goodness. He pulls out the gun and he's like, I demand another question. That's not fair. This isn't fair. How the principal and Billy are just like, oh my God. They don't. They're like this fucking guy. The whole auditorium has run out. They're like, oh, fuck no. But the principal and Billy don't. They're unfazed. Because they tell him, sit down, crazy. He's like, sit down, crazy. You lost. Which is a crazy thing to tell somebody with a gun. Right. So Eric now points the gun at Billy. And he's like... I will kill you. And Billy's like, do it. Then he cocks the gun. And he's like, okay. But he's like, ah, maybe, maybe, maybe I was joking. I'm sorry. Just a lick of time before Eric's about to pull the trigger. Principal Anderson emerges and his 1984 wrestling get up. And he tackles Eric to the ground. I don't know where he got the wrestling costume from. I don't know why he felt that was necessary to put it on, but... He tackles him. Still not rendering Eric completely useless, Eric is able to get the gun and is still pointing it at Billy. But luckily for Billy, he did a very good act by calling up his old high school chum, Danny McGrath, who he used to bully, and apologized to him. Because of this... Danny McGrath is there in the audience and takes out his own gun and shoots Eric in the ass. Now, where'd he get his gun from? Rendering Eric disabled. Where did he get the gun from? Why did he know to show up with a gun, too? Why is everybody bringing guns today? Why y'all bringing guns on school campus? Right. That ain't right. So, all's... Fooled for Eric. He doesn't get the company, clearly. Oh, man. He probably going to jail for attempted murder. Next. Just kidding. Now it's graduation. Billy has... That would piss me off. Oh, no. It's at his house. Is this at his house? At his house? I don't remember, but I thought it was at a school. I thought it was at a school, too. That would have pissed... I was about to say, that would have pissed me off if y'all had graduation. Like, why is this... For this one human being. Why is he on stage?
UNKNOWN:Right.
SPEAKER_01:He has some form of graduation. Yeah, I'm assuming it's a house because if he had that with everybody from high school, I'd be pissed off. So he's having a graduation. He's succeeded. He's passed all the levels with flying colors. He's beat Eric. Billy gets up and does his speech and he tells everyone that he will not be taking over Madison Hotels. He's going to college. He's going to become a teacher. The company will go to Carl. And throughout this whole process, Billy has discovered his love for teaching. And that he's going to go back to school and become a teacher. I hope a P.E. teacher because, sir. Cannot teach me a damn thing. He cannot be. What you going to teach? What grade? What grade does he think he would teach? Right. The state of our youth is. Cannot be left in the hands of Billy Madison. You would do great as a PE teacher. Everyone needs a little break from all the academics. Right. Chill the fuck out. Did you see how good you did with dodgeball? Yeah, PE would be great for you, Billy. Right. The English, the math, and the science of the Veronica. Bonds of the world. Billy, not Billy. Eric's also an attendance at this graduation. I guess like... Maybe the dad made amends because he didn't want to get sued. He's like, I see a lawsuit in my future. So how about we squash the beef, Eric? Because I'm not sure why Eric's there. No, Eric should be in prison. He tried to kill your son. Brian's just an idiot.
SPEAKER_00:He's just dumb.
SPEAKER_01:He's just dumb. Why was your idea never to give it over to Carl to begin with? Well, Eric was the VP. That would make sense if it went to him. nonetheless so I guess Billy learns a little bit of something he and Veronica end up together happily ever after I'm glad he doesn't take on the company how terrible would that have been I mean yeah thank you I mean that's the this movie rectifies it's wrong by allowing him to not take over the company mind you if it was up to Brian he would have had the company but right Brian was probably like are you sure yeah dad I can't read. I can't read. In the end, Billy and Veronica kiss. There's a lot of people in this scene that kiss. One of the most troubling kisses is this mom that they showed throughout this movie that was one of Billy's former second or third grade students' mom or whatever. She's being kissed by two of Billy's high school classmates, like on the cheek. And I was like, whoa. Oh, I don't even remember that. What I thought was crazy was one of Billy's friends, not the tall one, but the chubby one, tried to kill, hit that little girl, tried to kiss a ninth grader. Yeah. They had, and then, yeah, they was trying, they was trying to have all these children make out with each other. I was like, why would y'all put, why would y'all have that, them little boys kissing that lady? I don't even, did they, they kissed her on the cheek? The cheek. It was like two boys. They're like, she's like, I love it. I was more concerned about the grown man trying to kiss yeah I wasn't as concerned about that one because she was like get away from me as opposed to the boys that were like actually kissing the lady and I'm just like um that's not appropriate all of it is sick it's fucking sick Adam Sandler seek hope yeah just kidding oh no hilarious movie Justice for Eric. I'm team Eric. Justice for Eric. I don't know what Veronica was thinking towards the end. She lost herself. That part. I remember liking Billy more and liking Veronica more. And when I rewatched the movie, I was like, Veronica, what are you doing? Eric, I get it. Billy, just lay in bed, please. Carl's my guy. Carl. Shout out to Carl. Be Carl. In a world full of Billy's and Eric's, be Carl. That's how you get to be the head of the company. Have greatness thrust upon you. That's right. Step back and be like, oh, you want me to run the company? Sure. Don't be such a tryhard. This is his five-year plan, just to wait it out. No, seriously. I just gotta wait these two idiots out, and I'll be in charge. It is low-key messy for him to be like... Eric's up to something. Tell Brian. Right. He messy. It's okay. Messy boots. Okay, well, this has been real. This has been fun. This has been real fun. Yeah. I just want to say goodnight, everyone. Bet you didn't see that coming. That was strange. Alright, don't forget, even though we said it already, but don't forget to like, rate, subscribe, review, even if it's a bad review. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your mother. Tell your mom. Tell your sister. Your brother. And your brother. And friends. Okay. Catch you later. Bye. Bye.