MomStuffCoffeeShop
MomStuffCoffeeShop
HOW TO HAVE HARD CONVERSATIONS
Hey Friends,
Can we just talk about Hard Conversations?
Hard conversations define our lives - the ones we have and the ones we avoid. After experiencing a complete personal collapse 15 years ago where I lost friends, support systems, and watched my child suffer, I learned the transformative power of speaking difficult truths. This raw, heartfelt episode explores why the conversations we fear most are precisely the ones we most need to have.
When we stay silent about our hurt, boundaries, or needs, we become trapped in cycles of shame, self-doubt, and unfulfillment. Whether it's telling someone how their words made you feel small, setting necessary boundaries, or speaking up about your worth in business - these conversations liberate us from patterns that keep us stuck. The silence that feels safe is actually the cage that holds us back.
I share practical guidance for approaching difficult conversations with grace - centering yourself in prayer first, clarifying your intentions, focusing on the desired outcome, and remembering that hard conversations aren't about exploding but about healing. Your business won't grow if you're afraid to speak up about pricing. Your relationships won't deepen if you can't express how you truly feel. Your healing journey stalls when you suppress your authentic voice.
Your worth isn't determined by others' comfort with your truth. You deserve to be heard, to be seen, to have your boundaries respected. What hard conversation have you been avoiding? It might be exactly what sets you free. Join me in discovering how speaking your truth with grace can transform not just your relationships and business, but your relationship with yourself.
All resources mentioned at https://www.kaykaysmith.com/
Grand Rising. So I wanted to pop in here and give you an amazing, heartfelt podcast about hard conversations women should have, and I had a hard conversation last night with two women and I wanted to come in here and talk about some hard conversations that not women should have, but women must have. It's time to rise and thrive and get back up again in every area of your life. Sometimes when we're down, when we're down and out, and we're feeling low and despondent, it's because we need to have a conversation. We need to have a conversation. We need to have a conversation with ourselves, we need to have a conversation with other women. We need to have a conversation with the person that has made us feel small or offended. And in today's episode, I'm going to walk you through every area of my life that has been affected by the hard conversation. And how do you get through hard conversations as a woman? So grab your coffee and let's get started. Grab your coffee and let's get started. So today's episode is inspired by something that happened to me 15 years ago and I didn't realize it, but up until now I had been very guarded to talk about it on the platform that I should talk about it, and that is my podcast. If you all know, I have two podcasts and one membership, so I have a podcast called the Mom Stuff Coffee Shop Podcast, and if you're listening to the podcast on that platform, you will know that this podcast is all about getting back up again, turning your pain into power and turning your trauma into triumph. Now I also have a podcast that I started about six months ago called the KK Smith Show all about rising and thriving and getting back up again, and so I felt like this episode fit both of these podcasts. So, on the Rise and Thrive Getting Back Up Again I'm giving you all types of life and business tips and also products and tools to help you get back up again and rise and thrive in life and business. And I wanted to talk about these hard conversations that women should have, because I feel like we don't have these conversations of healing, of trusting ourselves, of trusting other people with our raw emotions, with our raw feelings, right? So why am I having this episode? Well, last night I had a very hard conversation with two different women at the same time. It was food for my soul and it was fuel for my life to tell someone how I really felt about a situation.
Speaker 1:So, about 15 years ago, everything in my life in 2009 that could fall apart did fall apart, and it's almost 16 years from the date that all of this happened. In June, it will be 16 years, and so all of these things happened and it was a whirlwind of felt like a vortex, felt like going through a vortex. It started with a very, very heartfelt situation that happened along my parenting journey. It knocked the wind out of me and everything else in my life and my business was a domino effect, and I struggled to get back up again on the inside and I became very guarded, I became very depressed, I became a fraction of myself, and so, through this time, I wrote a book, and that book I share this story. I took out about 100, over 100 pages because, although I am a passionate writer, I realized that all of that pain did not serve anyone well, so I took out the parts that really didn't serve humanity well and I came out with an amazing work that I think you should check out sometimes and I will link it in the show notes, and it's called Awakening Unleashed, and it's all about getting out of your own way, getting back up again, realizing what really matters along your healing journey. But one of the things that really matters is hard conversations, and I can remember a time in my life where I just had to set the record straight, just had to set the record straight.
Speaker 1:During this time, I could not take any more shame. I could not take any more abuse, slick comments, people treating me any kind of way and me overlooking at it. You know me overlooking these things Now. These things happen in everyday life. They might be happening on your job, they might be happening in your family, they might be happening with your relative, and sometimes you just overlook things. Well, friends, I was not in a position to overlook anything. I was at my worst. I don't have time to tell you exactly what happened, but in my private group, I share exactly what happened, and if you are interested in joining a membership that is full of soul, stirring raw emotions, check out the membership also in the show notes. But I will give you a high level.
Speaker 1:So what ended up happening in 2009 is Because of this parenting faux pas, this fork in the road. It was so heart-wrenching. Friends, everything around me fell apart. So all the friends that one of my children had at this time. They were gone. All of the parent friends that I had. They were gone. All of the support that we once had. It was gone in the blink of an eye. And that was just the first emotion. The next thing that happened was my child had to be transported from one school to another school because of this great sadness. Every time I would drive them to this school I would cry and cry, and cry and they would be sitting there crying because of what happened. This would not shake me. This lasted, this feeling lasted for a long time.
Speaker 1:And so, with all of these emotions going on and piling things on and piling things on, I was ready to have the hard conversations, but they didn't always come out right. So last night reminded me of the hard conversations that we must have. These were hard conversations in business. Now, how do you handle a hard conversation when you don't even have the emotional capacity to understand what you want to say in this moment, how you want to get it out in this moment, and where do you go next? How do you remain friends, how do you remain in good standing, how do you remain in a loving godly heart through hard conversations? So let's walk through some things.
Speaker 1:First, I believe that the conversations you avoid are the ones you need the most, and here's why Because, if you have feelings of fear, self-doubt and past traumas that are only going to lead you further and further down that rabbit hole of self-doubt, fear, trauma triggers, these are the things that could be have been holding you back in life, and also these are the things that are keeping you unfulfilled, depressed and unhappy right, depressed and unhappy, right. So I believe that there is something far deeper inside of all of us, and that is called the ability to connect with our feelings. Sometimes we avoid connecting with our feelings because we are stuck in shame or doubt, or someone has given us so much shame in our lives that we do not even connect with our true and honest feelings. Do you like that, or is that something someone told you to like? Are you living an authentic life, or is that something that someone told you you should be living? So the role of self-reflection is imperative with hard conversations, because you will arrive at knowing hey, this is not something that I even want to accept. This is something that someone is projecting upon me. Next, I want you to think about, in hard conversations, speaking up or staying stuck, setting boundaries and also speaking your truth. Let's talk about this, let's unpack this for a moment.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you struggle to express yourself and what you need in relationships, whether that's a friendship, whether that is a love interest, whether that's on your job. Sometimes you are so suppressed that you can't even express or speak your truth because you are afraid to lose that relationship. Friends, I understand that there is a way that we must communicate in order to get things done in business, in life, with our partners. But there's also the other side in speaking your truth and setting boundaries and letting people know hey, that's a non-negotiable for me, and I'm not even talking about action steps, where we're going. So, hey, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do this, I do that. I'm not talking about those things. I'm talking about the heartfelt things. Hey, you made me feel like this. Hey, my heart really hurt when this happened. Hey, that's definitely a no-go for me. You talking to me like that. That made me feel small, it made me feel shameful, it made me feel triggered. These are the conversations of the heart.
Speaker 1:Next, I want you to know that hard conversations are also attached to your business. Your business will likely not grow if you are afraid to speak up. Let's walk down a couple of pathways about hard conversations for business. So what about knowing your worth in business? Are you afraid to speak up on pricing? Are you afraid to speak up on something that you are giving to the public? You're giving a promotion? You're afraid to speak up on something new that you've learned and you want to implement it in your business? These are the hard conversations, and what ends up happening? What ends up happening is you stay stuck year after year after year and there are no results in your life because you were just simply too afraid to speak up.
Speaker 1:And since it's Women's History Month, I wanted to comb through these things because I think there are so many ways that we can have heartfelt, honest conversations. So when I first started this path, my husband and I laugh and look back at it, because when I started having hard conversations with people, it really didn't come out right because it was not seasoned. And we have to season everything in prayer. So before we have those hard conversations, we want to first acknowledge God in prayer. Lord, help me to have this conversation, me to have this conversation, and Lord, please help me to understand the main objective here in this conversation. Lord, please let the other person be receptive and, lord, give us the best outcome for this situation. You have to season everything in prayer because sometimes, when you are reactive and you're reacting instead of thinking about being proactive, your proactivity involves I have an agenda and I have a positive outcome that I want to have. I am going to be centered, and that's my next tip Center yourself around God, center yourself around love. God is love and in this hard conversation, you are not trying to explode or go off on someone.
Speaker 1:You are simply having this conversation with this person because you need to get things right on the inside. You have been triggered, you have been pushed down, you have been depressed long enough. It's time to have the conversation, but have the conversation in a fluid and honest way. Next, I want you to think about something that's very important in having hard conversations. I want to encourage you that you are worthy of being heard. You that you are worthy of being heard.
Speaker 1:Now I also want to challenge you, if you're listening to this, I want to challenge you to think about a hard conversation that you must have. You must have this hard conversation. This conversation has been a long time coming conversation. This conversation has been a long time coming. Now I don't want you to jump into the conversation. I want you to be in a position to really think about everything that needs to happen before you have this conversation.
Speaker 1:So let's recap we need to have hard conversations. This is true. There's a certain way you've been feeling on the inside. The conversations you need to have are the main conversations that you are avoiding, and those are the ones that you need to have most. If you do not speak up, you will stay stuck, whether this is in your life, whether this is in your business, and, speaking of your business, your business will not grow if you are afraid to speak up. Finally, you are worthy of being heard.
Speaker 1:Friends, I hope this has been food for your soul and fuel for your life. I want you to remember that you can always celebrate wins and get back up again around here. All the resources that I mentioned will be a link in the show notes. Also, if you haven't already check out the Show Up For your Life Value Pack, this is a workbook and this is a private podcast series that's going to get you in the right direction If you are a person that has been so afraid to show up for your life.
Speaker 1:If you are a person that has been so afraid to speak up and get out of life what you really need, check out the bonus. It's also on my website at kksmithcom. Friends, I hope you have an amazing day and I hope this has helped you in so many ways and given you something to think about. But before you dive into those hard conversations, I want you to think about why you are worthy to be heard, to be seen, to be loved, to be valued. All right, friends, thank you for joining me. I'm KK Smith. Remember you can always celebrate wins and get back up again around here. I'll see you next time.