Fear of Loss: How It Holds Us Back & What to Do About It

Fear of Loss: How It Holds Us Back & What to Do About It

In this episode, I dive into a powerful realization I had while listening to Firestarters by Danielle LaPorte. I explore the concept of spiritual malaise—that feeling of disconnection and shrinking our dreams to fit into "real life"—and how fear of loss plays a huge role in holding us back.

I share my personal journey of navigating loss, from losing nearly all my possessions to questioning how much I truly allow myself to want. Whether it’s in relationships, business, or even the simple act of decorating my home again, I uncover how fear of loss has shaped my decisions and how we can move past it.

If you’ve ever found yourself resisting what you desire because you're afraid of losing it, this episode is for you. Let’s lean into trust, reconnect with abundance, and start creating a life that feels deeply f.cking good.

✨ Listen now and explore:

• How fear of loss keeps us playing small
• The sneaky ways it shows up in business, relationships, and everyday life
• How trust and spiritual connection help us break free

Tag me on Instagram @thisisjanellebridge with your biggest takeaway—I’d love to hear from you! 💛

Transcript

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[00:00:00] Hello, my loves and welcome back to my podcast. Now I've been listening to an audio book this morning. And as a manager, and I respond, if we don't know about human design and you're like, what the fuck does that mean? It essentially means I am a responder. So I react to what I hear and it can trigger things, um, an expression within my body that I just simply need to speak into.

And it, you know, it's like a, it's a fire starter basically. And essentially the, the audio book that I was listening to. It's called Firestarters and it's incredible. I'm only a few chapters in and there were a few moments when I stopped my walk and went. Whoa. Now, one of those moments were what the author Danielle LaPorte was talking about was spiritual malaise.

Right. And that's when we're just feeling really tired and really disconnected from source. And we have our big dreams and we start to kind of, um, accommodate for them. So we make them smaller, we make them fit into real life a little bit more. We're [00:01:00] kind of, um. Feeling, I guess, pulled back by the experiences of life and things like that.

And we just start to minimize our dreams with everything that happens to us. You start to take away, Oh, maybe it would be okay if I just had this, or maybe this would be okay, or maybe, maybe, maybe. And we start to really accommodate. Our big dreams and make them kind of more everyday life. But so, and I thought that really makes sense.

You know, when we're, because I see it a lot with my clients, if they're in a state of fear or in a state of lack, then they find it really hard to dream big about what they'd like to offer in their business because they're like, but I just need to make money. And I spent a lot of energy in that a lot of time in that energy last year when my life was falling apart, when things were just really, really hard.

Um, but when we step into that energy of trust and abundance and provision, we allow ourselves to dream a lot bigger, but something else that she mentioned and spoke into was fear of loss. Okay. It is so easy to be leaning into fear of loss in this world, [00:02:00] in this lifetime. And what fear of loss does is keeps us from wanting what we really desire.

And that was one of the things that really had me stopping my tracks and just go, holy fuck. That's where I'm sitting right now, you know, I, and I always share my life experiences with you guys on here and I just so funny, isn't it really funny how we can recognize our thoughts from our ego and go, no, like, I'm just, I'm just watching you like the cow that jumped over the moon.

I'm not attaching to you. I'm just watching you jump over. Um, I had some shit go down a couple of years ago with, in this industry, which. Was in relation to me calling out some bullshit psychic people and, um, not by name, just, you know, bringing some light to the practice. And I got like these awful messages from, from them, you know, I dunno, followers or whatever saying like, your podcast is just all about you.

You just talk all about you. And I'm like, yeah, cause it's my story. And I want you [00:03:00] to learn from my story. So you don't have to go through it yourself. Good morning, Abby. Um, I've taken to recording in the morning and before anyone wakes up, but of course they always wake up when I start recording, which is so fun.

Um, anyway, that, that was just a cow that jumped over the moon thoughts that came through. And you know, I thought I'd share that with you, right? Rather than just push it to the side, because a lot of the time I see my clients will have a thought and because they have a thought, they think that it's true and they think they need to cling onto it and I think they need to listen to that.

Anyway, the story I want to share. So. Although the thoughts that I want to share around my story experience is, you know, sitting in that fear of loss. I walked this morning and I heard that fear of loss and I just stopped for a second and I was like, shit. That's the energy that I've been in, right?

Because last year was a year of losing lots of things. And so, you know, we're back in our home after this whole mold kerfuffle and isn't that just a real downplay on words, the way to describe the experience. But, you know, I found myself not. Buying [00:04:00] things like we have a couch, we have a table, we have chairs, you know, and we have beds and that's pretty much all we have.

Um, I love decor and I love artwork on the walls and I did keep, you know, my spirit guide drawings and all those things and I'll just need to put them in fresh frames, um, for them to be safe to return to the house, but I haven't bought things. I haven't bought lamps, I haven't bought a hallway table, I haven't bought all the little things that I have.

You know, I've bought one plant and the reason I bought one plant was because of the feng shui and where I could put it would be helpful to Sebastian, um, but my house prior to the mold. Shit, fuckery, um, was full of plants, you know, it was full of things and crystals and just you walked in and everyone was like, Oh my God, your house feels like home.

And it still has those beautiful feelings, but there's one plant versus 50 and one of the most hard things, one of the most devastating things. Um, You know, in the [00:05:00] loss of all of our things was my plants, right? Because if you have plants in a home that has mold, they actually magnify the mold. Yeah. So it's all through the dirt.

The mold spores are all through the dirt and then the plants are magnifying the mold. So I was like, Oh, I should just buy more plants or I should just, you know, I know how much plants make me happy. And I know how much plants help a home. Now you also shouldn't have too many plants if you're worried about mold issues because they do add to the moisture content of the room, the humidity of the room.

Um, at the very least water them outside and bring them back in. Yeah. Which is something that I never did. Um, anyway, but I'm like, no, I just, I just don't feel like it. And I've been sitting with it. I'm like, why? I feel a bit scared to buy things. And then when I heard that this morning, I was like, fear of loss.

You know, I'm sitting in that fear of, I don't want nice things because I'm scared to lose them again. Yeah. Um, you know, uh, it's a process that I've moved through and I thought that the grieving process was over when it came, you know, [00:06:00] to, to that. Um, but it has been popping back in little moments. And I guess it is a huge thing to get rid of all of your furniture and all your clothes and all of your things and all of your knickknacks.

So. All of your items that I've accrued over 38 years of life, you know, um, but yeah, I sat with, Oh my God, fear of loss. That's exactly what it is. And, you know, I'm really, I'm kind of surprised on myself that I hadn't leaned into that, realizing that that was an issue earlier because, you know, often coach women and early on in my coaching career, I attracted a lot of women who wanted to find a relationship.

That was why they came for coaching. And of course I cannot. Find your relationship. I cannot coach you into a relationship, but what I can do is overcome some of the barriers to relationship that you are feeling, yeah, to open you up to the possibility and to the notion of receiving love. And with most of the women that I coach, they had been through horrendous breakups in the past and they were terrified.[00:07:00] 

Of going through that again. And so there was a fear of loss that was presenting. It was like, you know what? I don't really know if I want that because I don't want to go through all of that again. And as I said, that's the exact feeling that I'm feeling with my things. And of course things are so much less important than humans and relationships, but I really resonate with that on that level as to like, Oh my God, I I'm scared to have nice things because what if I have to get rid of them again?

You know, um, so fear of loss can hold us back so deeply. Um, it can hold us back so, so deeply. And so I thought I need to speak into this. You know, I was going to write a post, but I thought, you know what? Podcasts are so easy, such a beautiful way to speak directly to your ears. And then I can turn it into a post much easier as well.

But I wanted to speak into it because. For me, I wasn't aware that fear of loss was presenting to myself in that way. And then when I know, Oh my God, it's just a fear. It's a fear that I'm having. And it's, you [00:08:00] know, there's, there's parts where I'm like, I don't, I don't want lots of stuff again. I don't want that.

You know, the house feels a lot easier to keep clean and tidy without. All the things, but I definitely do want some plants and I want some artwork. And I just want some beautiful things and, and homeliness so I can overcome that with you when I recognize that it's a fear that I'm having rather than just a reluctance.

Right. Um, and you know, the same has been presenting to me with my business. So it's like, how much do I want to succeed? And of course I'm like a lot, but then I'm like, Oh, wow. Like if things start to go down the shitter again, there's that element of fear of loss. In that regard as well, like there was so many things that I had to disconnect from last year to show up for the things that were most important to me, which was my son's health and my home and supporting my family through that and.

But there was big loss that came with that, you know, so fear of loss is really holding us back so much more than we could ever realize. [00:09:00] And for me, I just thought when I hear something that really touches me, I share it with you. It's part of my human design. I'm a one four, that's what I do. It's part of that is digesting information and sharing the most important parts that resonate with me, with my audience.

So that's what I'm doing here as well. And so I just implore you to have some thoughts around that. What are you terrified of losing? What are you terrified of going through again? And where is that holding you back from what you truly desire in this lifetime? Where is that fear of loss coming through?

You'll notice I haven't touched into the fear of losing. My son, because I don't want to open that portal today, but that was also, you know, a strong fear of loss that is coming through and you know, how we overcome fear of loss is through trust. Through connection with source through, you know, noticing the abundance that's around us, but it's deeply through trust.

So, you know, perhaps it's your spiritual practice. It needs a little bit [00:10:00] of work for me. It absolutely is in that regard. You know, I'm super connected for others, but when life comes and. Literally piss lemons at your face, it can be really hard to maintain that deep trust and divinity. And I feel like I have it in some regards, but in some regards, there's a lot of fear flowing through my veins.

So, you know, I just, I share this with you because I implore you to lean into it and see what it is that you're feeling fear about and how it's holding you back. Have a beautiful day, my loves. Bye.