Today, Lauren & Megan share their recent journeys into surrender and trust. Lauren unveils the walls that once provided safety but now hinder true connections and manifestations, while Megan shares her business closure woes. Join their candid chat on unlocking the power of vulnerability and rediscovering the magic in letting go.
Follow Meg & Lauren on IG:
@shatteringceilingspod, @meggs.n.baconnn, and @lauren__wheeler__
Season 2 Song Credit: Dimitrex "Stinky Sax"
Season 1 Song credit: Fleece Mob "Will Travel"
Today, Lauren & Megan share their recent journeys into surrender and trust. Lauren unveils the walls that once provided safety but now hinder true connections and manifestations, while Megan shares her business closure woes. Join their candid chat on unlocking the power of vulnerability and rediscovering the magic in letting go.
Follow Meg & Lauren on IG:
@shatteringceilingspod, @meggs.n.baconnn, and @lauren__wheeler__
Season 2 Song Credit: Dimitrex "Stinky Sax"
Season 1 Song credit: Fleece Mob "Will Travel"
SC - Episode 73
[00:00:00] Lauren: Hey, everyone. Welcome to Shattering Ceilings. It's Lauren.
[00:00:03] Megan: And Megan, and today we are here to talk about Lauren's experience doing. Is it a reading is that what you would call it?
[00:00:13] Lauren: Yeah, it was a group reading, but I don't even know, like, now that it's Friday. Yes, I, it, it started with that, but I don't even know if that's like the full thing. You know what I mean? Like,
[00:00:24] Megan: so this is what went down guys. Lauren had Mitch over at her house with a group of people and you guys did a. Like, was it longer than a normal session
[00:00:33] Lauren: yeah, it was two hours. Oh,
[00:00:37] Megan: about it at all. So, like, I have no idea what we're getting into and I'm really excited.
[00:00:42] Lauren: good. I know you've been like dying. You're probably like, why haven't you called me?
[00:00:46] Megan: Yes.
[00:00:47] Lauren: But okay, so let's just say this today is Friday, the 26th. So we are recording the day after the full moon, the Leo full moon. And now that again, we are 5 days out. [00:01:00] I think that the Leo full moon had a lot to do with this as well.
[00:01:04] Lauren: You know, like, a lot of things, a lot of people I've talked to this week are like, really in their emotions and You know, I, I coach people. So, like, I'm having daily conversations with people and it seems like there's a lot of old shit that's coming up. And if you do any, like, investigating, which I am a 1 3 manifester guys, or the 1 3 and me has looked at, I don't know how many pieces of information on the Leo full moon.
[00:01:32] Lauren: I've watched all the reels, watched, looked at all the memes, like, I have them all saved in my Instagram folder, you know, but one of the, and it's not just with the Leo full moon, it's, it's different placements of planets, right? That's also very much talking about how these old things that are coming up or like finally coming up to be put to bed for good, right?
[00:01:56] Megan: Mm. Right.
[00:01:57] Lauren: And so Megan, you've said this before, where [00:02:00] like, when it comes to healing and working through things. It's levels of it, right? Like you may work through the first level and you feel like, oh, I've integrated this and I feel good now. And then something hits you and you're like, oh, shit, this is still here.
[00:02:15] Lauren: And you have to heal it at like a deeper level. That's what that's what happened basically, or what I think is like happening right now. So I'll, I'll just give you the kind of like the scoop. So like Sunday, Mitch came over, there was 10 of us, including myself and he Really, he has so many gifts, Mitch, but he really used his mediumship on Sunday.
[00:02:39] Lauren: And he also talked energetics. He also talked about like 3d versus 4d versus 5d, like just different things, like energetic wise and spiritual worldwide. Right. So if we do the reading, like, you know, we're all spaced out in my living room all over and he kind of comes up to you when he's about to read you.
[00:02:59] Lauren: So, and guys.[00:03:00] Can I say this am I allowed to share this who's going to be coming on later?
[00:03:04] Megan: Sure.
[00:03:05] Lauren: Yeah, he's going to be like,
[00:03:07] Megan: you can share whatever.
[00:03:09] Lauren: in March. But when he reads, like, a group, he, like, stands in front of usually that person and or stands nearby and so, like, halfway through, like, he was on my side of the room and, like, my stomach started.
[00:03:22] Lauren: Like, feeling like nervous, like, nauseous, not nauseous, but like, anxious, you know, like that butterfly slash kind of nausea feeling and I'm like, oh, that's weird. You know, and I didn't voice it. I didn't say anything and he wasn't talking to me, but I felt this way before when talking to, like, him and Nicole and on separate occasions.
[00:03:40] Lauren: And Nicole is someone who also will be on the show. She's another person who yeah. We'll just say that she's a starseed. I'm going to leave it at that. She'll explain more about that. But the reason I tell you this is because I didn't know in the moment, but like, something was being activated there.
[00:03:57] Lauren: Like, that's why I was feeling like these physical feelings.[00:04:00]
[00:04:00] Megan: Oh, interesting.
[00:04:01] Lauren: Yeah, so then he never directly, like, read me. Like, he read everyone around, except for, like, there was three of us, and at the end, we could ask questions. And Mitch just read me back in November. So, like, as I'm sitting there, I kind of, like, knew, I'm like, he's not going to read me.
[00:04:16] Lauren: Like, no one's going to come for me, like, right now, because I just had a reading. And I very much felt like, and this is very much a theme that pops up for me, like, I was supposed to bring that group together. Yeah.
[00:04:29] Megan: Mm
[00:04:29] Lauren: someone who loves to gather people and, like, for a purpose or just for a good time or whatever.
[00:04:35] Lauren: Like, I do that a lot in my life. And I kind of feel like I, and I specifically curated this group, like, of people. You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't like an. An extended, like, invitation to everybody just because there was a limited and I wanted good energy and I wanted people that could really benefit from this.
[00:04:52] Lauren: So, at the end, he he asked me and I was like, well, like, I was like, I don't know. Like, I really want to ask a question, but, like, I don't know if that's appropriate [00:05:00] because nobody was really asking questions. Like. You know, like about like, tell me about blah, blah, blah. Like, they were pretty much just like, waiting for like, a message from their loved ones.
[00:05:09] Lauren: And so he asked me and I'm like, well, I guess like my mom, like, I always want to hear from my mom, you know, like that your mom is like, one of the biggest, you know, life
[00:05:18] Megan: She's the mom.
[00:05:19] Lauren: Yeah. And so I, of course, when you hear from her and he, he repeated a lot of the things that he told me two months ago, which was like very funny because I know he doesn't remember like what he said to me, you know, two months ago, he's read so many people in between.
[00:05:34] Lauren: There's no way. So I thought that was pretty interesting, but then he turns to my aunt. And my aunt and my mom are only three weeks apart. And so they were like best friends growing up. And my aunt has gone to a medium before, like after my mom passed and my mom wouldn't come through for her. And so when she came through for my aunt, it was like, he like turned on a dime to my aunt and was like you and like started like [00:06:00] talking to her.
[00:06:00] Lauren: And my aunt of course was like crying and just, it was so emotional to watch it. And. Then he turned back to me and he said, thank you for, for connecting us. And he went like this, like motioning back and forth. Right. And so again, it was like, kind of like confirmation that moment. Like I called my mom so that she could finally talk to my aunt and my aunt could feel that closure that she really wanted.
[00:06:23] Lauren: You know what I
[00:06:24] Megan: mm. That's so beautiful.
[00:06:25] Lauren: was, it was really great. And I felt like, you know, just the whole thing was beautiful. I mean, so many messages that people got and it was wild. Like how accurate, like it was just crazy. And. After he left, I still felt like really good. And my aunt stayed for a little bit and we chatted a lot.
[00:06:42] Lauren: And then later on that night, I started feeling like wiped. Like I was so tired, but like I had like this desire to journal. So I just like journaled a little bit and surrender came up again. And like, we've talked about this a lot, like surrender wasn't my word for 2023, but trust [00:07:00] was and surrender and trust.
[00:07:02] Lauren: I feel like they go hand in hand, you know, and it kept coming up for me. And it came up in the sense of like, You know, I, I said this before, like, I thought I did a really good job towards the end of 2023 working with trust better. And it was like, the message that came up for me was like. You can't just work with trust and surrender on situations.
[00:07:23] Lauren: I'm asking you to like, surrender everything. Like, that's the message that I got. And that is like, and you can hear, I'm still like emotional about it because it's scary as fuck to think about,
[00:07:37] Megan: scary about it?
[00:07:39] Lauren: Control, like not to, not to be able to be in control. And it's not like I can always choose to be in control.
[00:07:44] Lauren: Right. I can choose that, but it's like. That's the, that's what I'm being asked of me, is to like, let go of the control, right? So, I went to bed Sunday, and I was fine. I woke up [00:08:00] Monday, and like, me and you were supposed to record on Monday. And I'm like, Meg, I will not be able to get through this. Like, there's no way I'm gonna be able to get through it.
[00:08:07] Lauren: Like, I was like, a ball of emotions on Monday. I was crying, I was like, Anxious, I was like, feeling the nonproductive guilt. I was feeling like, again, that pressure to have to surrender and, and like, kind of seize control and, or I should say cease to give up control. You know, I'm trying to seize control, whatever, not have control.
[00:08:31] Lauren: And I just, I don't know. Like, I was like, what is wrong with me? And so, I don't know. Ashley is someone who you guys will also be hearing from, but anyway, she's 1 of my best friends. And she's also had, like, her gift of mediumship has come online. Like, I'd say, like, the past year, maybe 2, but I've only known about it for about a year and she text me and she was like, how are you doing?
[00:08:53] Lauren: And I'm like. Well, it's funny you ask. Like, I'm not, I'm not doing well right now. And so she, [00:09:00] she talked me through a lot of things. And, you know, one of the things she said to me, and this is like, I need a fucking bumper sticker of this. I talked about how, like, a lot of times I try to keep the peace. Right.
[00:09:13] Lauren: And I don't always speak my truth or just speak my mind because I just want to keep the peace and she says to me, well, whose piece are you keeping? And I was like, like, mic drop, like boom. And I'm just like, oh, oh, that's a good one. Right. And so again, it's really like peeling back the layers of. My whole fucking world and, you know, really how I'm operating in my world and my in my relationships and how I'm showing up and like, you know, I asked for this year to expand me and to really stop playing small and like.
[00:09:52] Lauren: If you're not speaking your truth, and you're trying to keep the peace, you're not going to really be taking up space or playing big, right? Because you're going to [00:10:00] be holding yourself back from a lot of things. And again, we talked about surrender. So then Nicole, who is Mitch's manager, and she's also, like I said, a star seed, she called me and She's like, what's going on?
[00:10:14] Lauren: And I told her like how I felt physically too. And she's like, I think he activated you, meaning Mitch. And she's like, you know, she's like, you felt that way before with me. And she said that like, when you are, I don't know how to say it, like energetic beings, which we all are, but like, if you're more tapped in, let's put it that way, or you're more tuned.
[00:10:36] Lauren: Right.
[00:10:37] Megan: Mm hmm.
[00:10:38] Lauren: She says that when you get together or you're in their energy field, it can even be like through over zoom, like we've been and things like that. Like you, you can upgrade, you can activate, you can like, you're changing each other's energies. Like it's like they're playing, you know, back and forth.
[00:10:53] Megan: Right.
[00:10:55] Lauren: And so that's what she thinks happened. And that's why she thinks like I started feeling like anxiety and [00:11:00] nauseous, like in the middle of it, even though he wasn't even really talking to me.
[00:11:03] Megan: Interesting.
[00:11:04] Lauren: And she thinks that's why I had like big emotions after. And then the next day, You know,
[00:11:09] Megan: Yeah. That's
[00:11:10] Lauren: there's, there's other things going on in the world, solar flares and, you know, astrology things and all that.
[00:11:15] Lauren: But like, so we talked for like, you know, an hour and she was just saying how like Ascension and, and like going deeper and doing the work is just, it's not fucking easy work, you know, it's hard. And obviously, like, to be faced with, like, things that, you know, you need to change or at least address, you know, is not always it's not always easy.
[00:11:36] Lauren: You know, to hear or to feel,
[00:11:38] Megan: Is it ever? Like can, is it ever easy?
[00:11:42] Lauren: well, I think, you know, my personality by now, and maybe hopefully the listeners do too. Like I'm someone who likes certainty. That is why I am someone who's like such a seeker of knowledge and things like that. And so. I'm always asking why and I'm always asking, like, well, how [00:12:00] and what's next?
[00:12:00] Lauren: And, and it's a form of safety. Like, I'm trying to build these walls also. So, like, not only is it ingrained to me personal at personality wise, it's like 1 of my childhood wounds, right? Building safety and something I heard about the Leo full moon was too. I think I send you the video. I forget her name.
[00:12:21] Lauren: She's really fucking good though. And she talked about how, like, yeah. This again, it wasn't so much Leo full moon, but where the planets are when it happened that it's going to bring up wounds from 8 to 14. so think about when you were 8 to 14. I know when I was 8 to 14, that's my, my parents, they split up when I was in 3rd grade.
[00:12:41] Lauren: So that's like that
[00:12:42] Megan: Mm. Mm hmm. Mm
[00:12:45] Lauren: by 14. My dad was remarrying his 2nd wife. Right? And there was so much in those. What is that? 6 year span. That, like, I could probably write a fucking book, maybe 2 [00:13:00] on even just what happened between my mom and dad and all the chaos. Right?
[00:13:04] Megan: Yeah.
[00:13:05] Lauren: And my stepdad came into our lives.
[00:13:07] Lauren: Like, you know, my brother was my youngest brother was born. You know, so I think, I think about that and I think about too, like how I'm wired to create safety in my life, which is why I'm also so masculine energy. Right. And that is what I'm being kind of like, this is, you have to give this up. Like if you want trust in your life, you have to, you also have to give it, like you have to trust that it's going to work out in order to have that trust.
[00:13:37] Lauren: Do you know what I mean?
[00:13:37] Megan: Right. There's like a difference between doing all the possible things to create the safety and safety. Then they're like, that is very different from letting go and actually, like, sinking into that feminine energy, if you will, of trust and surrender and allowing it to happen for you. That's so interesting.
[00:13:55] Megan: I just so something that came up for me when you were right before you started talking about your conversation with a [00:14:00] call. We've been having this conversation, like I've had several flashbacks in the last two or three minutes, just a random conversations we've had since I've moved to Louisiana about you not wanting to play it small anymore and trust and let go and surrender.
[00:14:15] Megan: And everything so far has been kind of outward. It's like how you're showing up on social media, how you are, it's all. Business related and like public image related, but it sounds like what this is really calling to you to is like doing that in your personal life, like your personal relationships at home, your relationship with yourself.
[00:14:33] Megan: It's not, you
[00:14:34] Lauren: It's really like tearing down those walls, that safety net that I've built for so long. And that is why it's, I think it was so emotional and so fucking scary to me because it's like, well, like that's how I know I'm okay. Like that's how I keep myself safe. And I know that because I'm like, again, when my mom and dad split.
[00:14:58] Lauren: I, and I said this before, I, it [00:15:00] was like, beat into my head. You have to do whatever it takes to be able to stand on your two feet always. You know what I mean? So it's like from that age, like eight years old, it's like, no matter what, I have to be okay all the time, like all the time. And I have to be independent.
[00:15:17] Lauren: Yeah,
[00:15:19] Megan: I think a lot of us were. And when I say us, I speak for, I mean, women, girls got that message, especially in the, like the era that we've grown up in it. There were not as many stay at home moms, right? Moms were getting into the workforce. Divorces were becoming more common.
[00:15:35] Megan: Cause I know that's something that was beaten into my head. Not beaten, but you know what I mean? Like, just like you can do anything, but also you kind of have to do anything that it takes to, to be able to stand on your own two feet.
[00:15:47] Lauren: And I wonder if this is why we have such a hard time asking for help to, you know, because again, you're, you're always told, like, you have to be just like basically everything, like on your own. And. [00:16:00] Like, it's not a bad thing. Necessarily. I feel like it's a bad thing when it's taken to, like, that next extreme where you were, like, fully self reliant and you're not again, trusting the people around you that you should be able to trust and how and it's just affecting again, how you show up, you know,
[00:16:20] Megan: Yeah.
[00:16:21] Lauren: like, that is kind of where we're at.
[00:16:22] Lauren: So, like, I don't have a resolution for you at all. I mean, this just happened, but like, i, it's just making me stop and think more, I guess, of like, You know, what I'm saying, how I'm saying things or, or, like, it's just like how I react to things, you know, the decisions that I've, I haven't really made too many, I think, crazy decisions the last week, but, you know, just like, am I doing this because I'm trying to play it safe and create that safety or am I doing this because this is really what I want for myself and this is my truth,
[00:16:55] Megan: Yeah.
[00:16:56] Lauren: those are some questions that I feel like I need to start, like, really thinking about before [00:17:00] I make a decision.
[00:17:03] Megan: That's so interesting,
[00:17:04] Lauren: Mm hmm. Mm hmm.
[00:17:06] Megan: man. I mean, so we haven't really talked at all this week and not that I thought I really didn't think we were going to be talking about anything other than the reading, because I just anticipated you, like, having a shitload to say about the actual experience. But if you're open to it, let's talk about the energetics a little bit.
[00:17:24] Lauren: Yeah. It's been heavy this week.
[00:17:26] Megan: It has been. So, I mean, like, we haven't talked at all. I've been sick. I had COVID last week. This is also a really huge week in my life because I decided to shut Wellfed. And this is like, we took our final orders today. Doors are closed. I will never be selling anything again. With Wellfed. With Wellfed, absolutely.
[00:17:43] Megan: Listen, people keep trying to say, like, my accountant was like, keep the LLC open for the year. You might want to transfer it. I'm like, no, bitch, I don't. I don't, like,
[00:17:51] Lauren: Well, that's good that you know
[00:17:52] Megan: really don't.
[00:17:53] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:17:54] Megan: it's been such an emotional week and I kind of at the beginning of the week thought it was just because I was sick [00:18:00] and I felt so out of sorts and out of control, but like, I've had absolutely no control over my emotions all week.
[00:18:06] Megan: I've been a hot fucking mess. Like, poor Aaron, it's been a really long week and I think some of it was just like, finally letting go of the business. But that's what it, Was for me was safety, right? Like I have a full time job and I was not ready to let it go because it was something that No matter what I could hold on to because I could make it bigger if I wanted to I could lean on it if something Ever god forbid happened with Aaron I would have the business like it was a lot of surrender and letting go and trusting that it was time
[00:18:43] Lauren: Right.
[00:18:44] Megan: You know,
[00:18:44] Lauren: were able to do that, which is fucking amazing.
[00:18:47] Megan: dude I usually when we get to these full moons and I start seeing all this stuff, I'm like, or even stuff astrologically, I'm like, well, I gotta look at that.
[00:18:55] Megan: I gotta do that. And this time I was like, fuck. Yeah, I'm doing it. Like, we did it decisions made. All the phone calls [00:19:00] were made. All the plans were in place a week ahead of time. And it was a quick decision. Like. It's been less than two weeks since I decided I just woke up when I was like, it's fucking time.
[00:19:10] Megan: And
[00:19:10] Lauren: And I think that's how a lot of big decisions are made. Like you just get to the point where you're just like, fuck it. I'm, I'm tired of even thinking about this. Like, it's like, shit, right off the pot, you know, like it's time.
[00:19:21] Megan: Right. And that's kind of what I, why I wanted to bring it up. I know I said energetics, but like what I mean by, I guess what I meant in my head when I said energetics is like that energy shift within yourself, right? Like I don't, I, you know, me, well, I sit on stuff forever. I've been talking about closing will fed some September and I've talked myself out of it over and over and over again.
[00:19:43] Megan: And There it was like a boom done. I woke up. It was the day. No questions asked and there's something that's so powerful in that
[00:19:55] Lauren: I agree.
[00:19:57] Megan: But like it's I feel like it's available. My brain is still [00:20:00] mush guys. Sorry. I've been like working with fucking chicken soup brain all week Open really put me on my
[00:20:06] Lauren: It does. It does mess your brain up.
[00:20:08] Megan: But like it's I guess what I'm trying to say is I feel like in my mind, in my mind, the way things work is that you have to build on it over time, over time, over time. And sometimes it can feel like you're just spinning your wheels, but it is also available to you to just like make a decision. And it can be that easy,
[00:20:29] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:20:30] Megan: you know, like with you now learning how to surrender and like questioning things, thinking of things differently.
[00:20:35] Megan: When you make those big decisions, like it can be as easy as like, okay, this is how we make decisions now.
[00:20:40] Lauren: Yeah. And like, it's just, it just feels like it's my whole life. You know what I mean? Like, that's what's really big and scary about it is like, literally I've designed my life this way for the last 37 years. Well, 30, if we're going from age eight or whatever, do you know what I mean?
[00:20:58] Megan: Yeah.
[00:20:59] Lauren: And [00:21:00] you know, we've been doing also like the 2B magnetic work and I
[00:21:04] Megan: hmm. Mm
[00:21:05] Lauren: disciplined with that, but like, you know, we would do these DIs and like, these are, they're called deep imaginings guys.
[00:21:11] Lauren: And it's like, kind of like a meditation slap slash hypnosis. And you and me both would say like, I didn't feel like anything came up. And it's funny, nothing really has. And then all of a sudden it hits me like after, you know what I mean? And obviously I'm not. I wasn't doing a meditation or whatever. It just came to me, but I was like, Oh, this is where this wound comes from.
[00:21:31] Lauren: But I, I had to talk it through. You know what I mean? Like I, like I had to have someone kind of like slap me in the face and be like, this is what you're doing. And then I was like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's exactly what I'm doing, or this is why I'm doing it. Right. So yeah, I mean, there's, there's. There's quick decisions like you've made where you can kind of, go all in and trust.
[00:21:52] Lauren: And then there's the ones that are really like messy and nitty gritty and where it's like you have a lot of [00:22:00] shit that you got to really think about, you know, and how you're, how you're doing things.
[00:22:03] Megan: Well, look, there's no, it's not to say that I don't have, like, I have been thinking about this and
[00:22:11] Lauren: Yeah. You have been thinking about for a while.
[00:22:13] Megan: forever and it will continue because it's not just well fed, right? It's like for, it comes down to trust for me too. I'm, I love control. I do. And,
[00:22:22] Lauren: we all though? I mean, like, think about that. Now we all love control because it feels safe. You know what I mean? If you know that you can rely on yourself, as long as you're someone that, you know, you can get and you can rely on, it's going to feel good
[00:22:34] Megan: Yeah. And it can make us hold on to things. Like, I think that's how it shows up for, I just hold on to so much because I'm terrified of what will happen if I let it go, you know, like, I imagine there's something in there for you. That's like, okay, if I, if I change the way that I think about things, if I, if I speak up for myself in my relationships, you know, like,
[00:22:55] Lauren: I know that.
[00:22:57] Megan: absolute, but
[00:22:57] Lauren: And that's also part of my, like, let's [00:23:00] think about this too, as a manifester, like, what is, you know, a wounded manifester do? They don't inform. And, like, that's something that I will do, because I know that, like, I'm either not going to be, they're not going to be in agreeance, or it's going to be outside of the box, or it's going to be, like, I don't want to hear no, and I don't want to hear rejection.
[00:23:23] Lauren: And that's
[00:23:23] Megan: but why can I ask you that? Like, why don't you because it's, is it going to change your decision if you hear? No.
[00:23:30] Lauren: because then I'll, I'll look like an asshole. If I continue on with what I'm doing, regardless of what people think, I guess that's what, you know what I mean? Like, that's what it kind of comes down to, like, people, pleasing why people people please, because we don't want to be rejected because back in the day we had to stay alive by being in groups.
[00:23:49] Lauren: And so we people, you know, you, you did, you conformed. Right? And so it's kind of along those lines. Okay. Okay. Okay. Rejection. And this is something Mitch said on Sunday. He [00:24:00] said that rejection is like the very beginning of like mental health, like when you're rejected and it's like a big deal. is where a lot of times like things can start mental health wise.
[00:24:13] Lauren: You know what I
[00:24:14] Megan: Oh, yeah, I would. Absolutely. I mean, going back to starting things at age 8, that was when I moved to Florida. I was like, 7 and a half. I was the youngest kid, right? I skipped a grade. I, in kindergarten, so I was always the youngest kid. I was never in, right? I've been spending my whole life trying to find acceptance somewhere.
[00:24:34] Megan: Yeah.
[00:24:35] Lauren: because I went to Catholic school. No one's parents were really divorced like that. Well, mine did and then, you know, picked on for, you know, just stupid shit that kids get picked on for how they look, you know, how they dress, whatever. Yeah, like, you know, that ain't too much
[00:24:51] Megan: feather bangs,
[00:24:52] Lauren: those bangs. Oh, yeah.
[00:24:54] Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. I know. But like, even that,
[00:24:56] Megan: How could you ever?
[00:24:57] Lauren: the, you know, and it goes into. [00:25:00] Again, not just like the appearance thing, but too loud, too obnoxious, too hyper. Like these are things I know I heard as a kid. So then it's like you keep shrinking to fit inside this box so that you are accepted and so that you feel safe and so that you feel loved and you feel worthy, worthy and value.
[00:25:20] Lauren: Like think about all that shit and how that just adds up over time. And like. Yeah, no wonder we have a lot of like wounds that we need to take care of. And some people don't, you know. I was talking to a woman who's 50 and she's carrying a lot of shit from her, you know, childhood. I don't want to be that, you know?
[00:25:42] Megan: no, same
[00:25:47] Lauren: So again, I don't how to move forward. I mean, I think it's like something that you have to be aware of. And it's like, sometimes you're not even aware of it though. You know, like I've done so much [00:26:00] work over the last 11 years on myself and I was still somewhat blind to this, I think.
[00:26:07] Megan: where, but that's part of it. Like, I, I think we go on these personal development journeys thinking that we're just like, going to wake up 1 day and be better or be different. And really, I think a lot of it is this challenging, challenging how you've been right over and over and over again in different capacities.
[00:26:27] Megan: So 11 years ago, we couldn't have had this conversation. You couldn't have had these realizations. You wouldn't be prepared to make decisions differently the way that you are now, because you had to do all the other shit to get here. You know, it's just how it is. And it'll continue. We'll be doing this 5 years from now.
[00:26:43] Megan: You'll be like, well, fuck. I really thought I was done with
[00:26:46] Lauren: Yeah. I know. And they're like, you popped into my head. You totally popped into my head because I was like, Megan would say like, Oh, this is just another level of it. You know what I mean? This is just a deeper level. Cause I know you've talked about that plenty of times, you
[00:26:58] Megan: right. Because life keeps happening and [00:27:00] it's as much as it's. I think a nice idea to think that we can heal those core wounds and never have to deal with it. Like, what is the, do you know, anybody who like Mitch, for example, you know, that's, that's done all this work. That's created this beautiful life.
[00:27:18] Megan: That's stepped outside of the box of what is normal to step into mediumship. Like, that's a huge thing that really, really opens you up to be ridiculed. Doesn't mean that he now doesn't have any insecurities.
[00:27:29] Lauren: No, and he talked about, like, yeah, I mean, Nicole too, like, they still, they still are working through stuff,
[00:27:35] Megan: Everybody's human and we all have stuff.
[00:27:37] Lauren: Mm hmm. Yeah. And it's like, you know, that whole analogy you use, like you get hit by the pebble and if you ignore the pebble, you're going to get hit by the boulder. Well, that's I probably maybe, I don't even know if that was the boulder, but anyway, like I'm not ignoring it this time.
[00:27:51] Lauren: Like I'm like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to listen more or dive deeper into it, you know?
[00:27:56] Megan: Yeah. And the boulders show up in different. I mean, that's, that's part of what helped [00:28:00] me make that decision with well fed. I called you that night. I was literally, I have not felt the way that I felt that day in a very, very long time, like literally questioning. Everything about my fucking life, my capability as an adult to make decisions.
[00:28:15] Megan: And I'm, you know, all, all of the self deprecating con like, I fucking locked myself in the bathroom, took shower. It all flooded. And then I was like, I need to call somebody. Right? And That just was the boulder for this situation. It was well fed, that in the chapter needed to close, right? But it doesn't mean that now, oh, I've let, I've learned how to let go of that need for a safety net in this situation I did.
[00:28:42] Megan: But what happens when, you know, maybe it's time to leave the next job or whatever, like, all of that will still come up again. It may feel different. I'll have the capacity to navigate it differently. And the same thing is true for you.
[00:28:55] Lauren: Mm hmm.
[00:28:56] Megan: You know, you'll still have difficult [00:29:00] conversations that are, that are going to need to be have where you have to speak your truth.
[00:29:03] Megan: And even though it felt so easy last time, this time may feel like the most difficult thing that you've ever done
[00:29:07] Lauren: Oh,
[00:29:07] Megan: because it's different
[00:29:09] Lauren: Right.
[00:29:10] Megan: and it just is, you know, now we just have more tools and more evidence.
[00:29:16] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:29:17] Megan: If you will, like, oh, I've done this before, like, that's what that I don't know about you. But like, for me this week, that's what it's really been.
[00:29:22] Megan: It's like, now I know, like, I can fucking do it.
[00:29:25] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:29:26] Megan: I can close a business
[00:29:27] Lauren: I think that's a
[00:29:28] Megan: world and explode. Yeah.
[00:29:30] Lauren: I think evidence is really important. You know, anytime that we're stepping outside of that comfort zone to do something like it's, it's always good to look back and remember times that we have already done that, you know?
[00:29:43] Megan: Yeah.
[00:29:45] Lauren: So
[00:29:47] Megan: Well, we haven't done this in a long time, just had a conversation like this and definitely not given a call to action, but I really feel compelled to share to leave you guys with [00:30:00] the call to action to look at your life and notice if there's anywhere right now where you're making a decision based in the need for safety or control and if that fear wasn't there, would you make a different decision? Let yourself sit with that a little bit.
[00:30:16] Lauren: Yeah. And, and again, it may not even feel like it's You're creating safety. You know what I mean? It might just feel like it's normal because for
[00:30:26] Megan: Mm hmm.
[00:30:27] Lauren: how I was like, this is just what I do. You know what I mean? So maybe even to think back to age eight through 14 with this, with this moon and think like, is there anything there that maybe caused you to create safety
[00:30:45] Megan: Mm
[00:30:46] Lauren: in life now?
[00:30:47] Megan: hmm. Yeah.
[00:30:49] Lauren: something to think about.
[00:30:52] Megan: Okay till next time.
[00:30:53] Lauren: till next time. Bye.
[00:30:55] Megan: Bye