A Healing Collaboration: Lauren and The Channel for Healing Interview! - Part 1

This week on shattering ceilings, we're switching things up! We are debuting Lauren's first ever interview on another podcast with our former guest Ashley Akers Smith. Join us for a vulnerable interview in perfect timing with Mother's Day weekend just passing as Lauren shares her experience in loss, love, & letting go.

Follow Meg & Lauren on IG:
@shatteringceilingspod, @meggs.n.baconnn, and @lauren__wheeler__

Season 2 Song Credit: Dimitrex "Stinky Sax"
Season 1 Song credit: Fleece Mob "Will Travel"

Transcript

[00:00:00] Ashley: Hey everybody and welcome to the channel for healing. I'm Ashley Acresmith and you're listening to the channel for healing podcast. This podcast challenges you to take a look inside to reveal, heal and fall in love with all of the pieces of who you are. As you know, each week I continue to invite you to walk with me as I share how my passion for personal growth and healing has led me to have a much deeper connection with not only the physical world, but the spirit world as well.
[00:00:28] Ashley: Today's episode is extra special to me because I have one of my very best friends to share her very own personal journey of unconditional love, loss, grief. And the power of letting go. Not always easy. As always, I want to thank you all for joining us today. And I invite you to walk with us as Lauren gets real, raw, and incredibly vulnerable.
[00:00:54] Ashley: As she shares the very many lessons that she's learned navigating some of Some really tough life [00:01:00] experiences. So as you know, by now, I believe that real connection is possible once we can actually take the time to understand what it means to unapologetically emerge in the world as our true and authentic selves.
[00:01:11] Ashley: So join us as my beautiful friend, Lauren gets ready to do just that with us today. So once again, I want to for tuning in with us and as always, you're right on time. So, hey Lauren without any further delays, yeah, I want to officially welcome you to the channel for healing podcast. I am incredibly excited to have you here with me today because I think that you'll add so much value to me, but you know, certainly to my listeners as well.
[00:01:39] Ashley: And so if you would just take a minute to kind of introduce yourself to everybody, share a little bit about yourself and, and what you do and what makes you tick and, and, and You know, all the things. 
[00:01:50] Lauren: Well, thank you so much for having me. I'm incredibly honored, especially, you know, you're someone that I admire your, your strength.
[00:01:59] Lauren: Always [00:02:00] that advice that you have. And I think you're so, so good with that and watching you really step into your gift has been amazing over the last, like it's been, I know going on for a little while, but to really see in the last few months, it really bloom has been amazing. So thank you again for having me.
[00:02:16] Lauren: Yeah. So I am, yeah I am a, a mom of two, a wife to my husband, Bob. I have a golden doodle named Marlo who is. Looking outside at the moment. She's like right across the way. She may interrupt us at some point. . 
[00:02:32] Ashley: That's okay. She's so good. Anytime I'm around. So , 
[00:02:37] Lauren: I have been in the network marketing space for almost 12 years which has really allowed me to be present in so many different ways and, and really which we'll talk about, I'm sure.
[00:02:48] Lauren: Be like with my family in moments that were truly, you know, they were hard, but, but I, I needed to be with them. Right. I'm also a fellow podcaster [00:03:00] someone who is deeply in tune with, you know, spirit and absolutely loving what you're doing. You know, it's something that I definitely take the time to connect with every single day.
[00:03:11] Lauren: And I am someone who believes in. you know, personal growth and the healing process and that journey alone. And I'm someone who really. You know, encourages people to take that time to really get to know themselves, but also to really do the work, because I think it makes such a huge difference in your life and often joke about where we were 10 years ago versus, you know, it's kind of funny, right.
[00:03:35] Lauren: To look back at that and not 
[00:03:36] Ashley: cute, not cute, 
[00:03:38] Lauren: not cute, but like necessary. Right. One thing 
[00:03:41] Ashley: that 
[00:03:41] Lauren: I think you're really good at doing too, is like reminding me that you have to accept every. every part of yourself. And that was a part that we definitely were. And, you know, it served its purpose at the time. 
[00:03:54] Ashley: It did.
[00:03:55] Ashley: It did. We, we certainly, certainly have come a long way, baby. [00:04:00] And it definitely all was very necessary. That's for sure. I agree with that. Yeah. It's, it is crazy. Cause we've known each other now about, I guess, probably 11 plus years. Cause I came, I started our about not long after you. And it is really incredible to look back and see how, just how different we are in our, the transformations that both of us have kind of been on really throughout our, you know, the last over a decade just with business and personal and Relationships and especially the relationship with ourselves personally, you know, yeah.
[00:04:39] Lauren: Which never seems to end that whole journey, you know, 
[00:04:42] Ashley: and it shouldn't, you know, that's a great point. It shouldn't. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, you obviously know that I'm super committed to, you know, showing up and creating the space for people to be exactly who they are. And I wanted to ask you, like, what Why was it important for you to [00:05:00] be here today, specifically in this space with me here today on, on my podcast?
[00:05:05] Ashley: You know, why did this feel right for you? Why did, why did you feel called to do this? Cause I think that's important that, you know, we feel aligned with certain things, but why did you feel specifically called to, to do this? 
[00:05:17] Lauren: Well, I think a couple of reasons. Number one, you know, again, watching you really develop this gift and, and, and now start a podcast so that you're able to impact.
[00:05:26] Lauren: So many more people. I think it's to get this message out to people that there's so much more available, like love abundance connection when you can really work on yourself. And that's so super important. And also to like, just sharing my own journey because I know that. You know, we're, we're not alone, you know, in our journeys.
[00:05:46] Lauren: And, and although my story is not going to be the same as yours or some of your listeners, like there's going to be things that they can resonate with and hopefully take some pieces that will help them in their healing journey. And the other thing is too, like, you know, what you're [00:06:00] doing with the mediumship and spirit, like that has been deeply healing for me over the last few years.
[00:06:07] Lauren: It has really helped me. You know, just step into who I am, feel connected and, and heal. Like we're, you know, we're probably gonna talk about my mom, heal parts of me that, you know, for like ever until I really had that, I guess, quote unquote, spiritual awakening and really stepping into that part. Like it was just one of those things that it bled into everything that I did, my relationships, my work, you know, who I was.
[00:06:33] Lauren: So until I really started to connect with that. It just impacted so much, you know? And then lastly, you know, you have been someone who has just greatly impacted my life, you know, and the messages that you give me, the advice that you give me you know, you, you always have something of value to say, and you've allowed me to be who I am fully, you know, even though there's times, you know, where we butt heads [00:07:00] or whatever, but not many, I would say, and You call me on my shit, you know what I mean?
[00:07:04] Lauren: And it's just, it's just a great honor to be your friend and to be here with you. 
[00:07:09] Ashley: Thank you so much. Thank you. That means so much to me and it certainly goes both ways. I mean, you, you've been my person for a really long time. You know, and I, I, You know, value your opinion, your advice, and we really are people that can, you know, we really are the friends to each other.
[00:07:28] Ashley: I think that can really just go to each other and say like, you're not showing up in your best self as your best self right now, or, you know, whatever we can really shoot each other straight. And 
[00:07:38] Lauren: yeah, but that's what worked to get there. That was not always the case, you know? 
[00:07:42] Ashley: True, true. But I do think a big piece of it was really eventually, right?
[00:07:47] Ashley: Once we learned to do this, really create a space for each other to show up exactly as we were. Oftentimes when that, that wasn't really potentially sometimes the best versions of ourselves. And [00:08:00] we really did kind of accept all the parts of each other, but I don't think we were able to do that. Until we did that for ourselves, accepted the parts of ourselves, you know?
[00:08:12] Lauren: Exactly. And that's what I was thinking that as soon as you started going into that, like it really became when we realized that how each other was showing up, wasn't connected to us. It wasn't a personal thing. It wasn't like what you were, it was making show up one way and vice versa. Like that's when I think we were really able to accept again, those parts.
[00:08:33] Lauren: And, and obviously for others too, I think, you know, When you realize that it's not all about you, right? It's about people's past experiences, you know what I mean? And what they're dealing with on a daily basis, what's going on in their head and in their heart, you know, that's obviously impacting how they show up.
[00:08:49] Lauren: Like it just makes it, I don't want to say easier but you're more compassionate towards that person and more forgiving and more able to listen. You know, [00:09:00] 
[00:09:00] Ashley: I could not agree with that more. There's a quote actually, which I'll totally, Butcher. I'm positive. But it says something like once you, once you've really heard someone's true authentic story, like you can't help but fall in love with pieces of them.
[00:09:14] Ashley: And it really is so true. Like it really is so true. Once you realize kind of what path someone has been on or navigating or I talked a few podcasts ago about like what, you know, we're all carrying around these backpacks and nobody knows what's in them and we're just going through life, but everybody's carrying like this.
[00:09:30] Ashley: you know, different, different traumas or weights or experiences in their backpacks that people don't know anything about. And once we take a minute to, to, or get the chance to kind of take a look inside and take a peek and, and really connect the dots of why someone may be showing up in the ways that they are really does allow for You know, understanding, and it allows us to kind of release the emotions attached to you know, all of the assumptions we make and the judgments we place on people.
[00:09:59] Ashley: And it really [00:10:00] allows all those things to kind of fall away. So, Yeah. So that's, that's pretty cool. You spoke a little bit you know, you touched on it just a little bit about like your mom and I know there's some other things that you were navigating, but that's kind of been like an underlying thing theme.
[00:10:14] Ashley: You know, the passing of your mom in 2017. Can you talk a little bit about that? And sort of, I often talk about my own Personal like experience of sexual abuse that I talk about a lot. And I, I always refer to it as like, that's the best, worst thing that's ever happened to me. Cause it's allowed me to be really grateful.
[00:10:32] Ashley: And I feel like, you recently, when you and I had had a conversation, you talked about how, I think this was actually, you and I didn't have it. I was listening to your podcast yesterday. I think you mentioned it on there saying like, you know, not that you want to lose your mom, but that it had. Really created something within you that allowed you to be who you are today.
[00:10:53] Ashley: You know, navigating that journey of, of loss and healing. So can you, can you talk a little bit about kind of [00:11:00] how, how that played in your life and 
[00:11:03] Lauren: you 
[00:11:03] Ashley: know, what, what you want people to know about that? Cause that's important. 
[00:11:10] Lauren: So sure. So. You know, growing up me and my mom, we always had this love hate relationship.
[00:11:19] Lauren: I often felt like I was a complete pain in her ass and maybe I was in some ways, right? Like this kid that, right. Sure. I. It can be a little obnoxious times and in my personality for sure. But I always just, there was just this, this annoyance in a sense, you know, with my mom and frustration. And I totally internalized that as a kid, you know, and I was the only girl I was the oldest and it just always seems like my brothers got away with more.
[00:11:58] Lauren: She was a little easier with [00:12:00] them and, you know, there were times where people would say like, wow, like, you know, I think your mom's be a little, she even said less, like, you know, a view and I just couldn't understand why. And, and it wasn't until, you know, a little before she passed that I find out that she had her own trauma that she had dealt with as a child.
[00:12:23] Lauren: And it's a shame that I didn't know this until later in life, because it definitely would have. It's just what it probably made things different and made me think differently about my mom, you know, I think one thing that we don't realize as children is now that I'm a parent, I can see it right. Like our parents were going through similar.
[00:12:43] Lauren: You know, traumas or just coping with things and just life. Right. But as a kid, like you don't see it like that there, you kind of put them on a pedestal and they're supposed to be like these superheroes and, and show up for you every single day in the very best way. And I [00:13:00] just, even though I was one for anything I just didn't have that close bond and.
[00:13:07] Lauren: She did though, a really great job of teaching me responsibility and having integrity and you know, again, like encouraged me to go after my dreams and things like that. It's just, again, we didn't have like the best relationship. And so, That plays out in my life and I can kind of get into that too later, but that plays out into my life in ways too, where it just shows up as something that I felt like I was missing in myself or, or trying to fill, you know, with things throughout my life.
[00:13:37] Lauren: And again, I'll get to that, but about 2007, so 2007, my grandfather passed away, which was her person. You know, my mom was an only child and that was her person. You know, I had seen my mom go through divorce from my dad and there were some points that were like kind of hairy and, but like. I was a kid, so I didn't really see [00:14:00] the whole picture.
[00:14:01] Lauren: You know, I only saw parts of it. Mm-Hmm. . And I didn't really understand everything. But when, when 2007, when my grandfather passed away, it really left like a gaping in my mom . And she slowly started to unrun and her drinking. And this was a woman who you know, could only have three glasses of wine and she'd be toast.
[00:14:21] Lauren: Right. Her drinking slowly started to get excessive. And she was never a nice person when she drank, just never, just not fun, nasty to me nasty to a lot of people around her. And it just got worse and worse. And then it got to the point where I was, I guess, 24 about to get married. And so this is about three years into her, her excessive drinking, you know, where you know, she started getting into trouble DUIs, you know, first, first day at rehab.
[00:14:56] Lauren: And it just continued on and it got worse and worse. And the thing [00:15:00] was with my mom, you know, it, she had her consequences, but it wasn't like it was a rock bottom where you're losing your house, you're losing your job, you're losing all these things. So she would often go into these places and she felt like she shouldn't be there.
[00:15:19] Lauren: Like she felt like she was, sometimes I'd feel like above it, you know, and what a lot of rehab facilities didn't address was the mental health piece. Right. And so there was a lot of that going on, like the mental health with the alcoholism. And if you're not treating both. You're not going to beat both, right?
[00:15:40] Lauren: You're not going to beat either, I should say. True. 
[00:15:42] Ashley: Very true. 
[00:15:43] Lauren: So I, I share this because it was like those 10 years from 2007 to 2017, she passed in 2017. It was a roller coaster. My life was. I was always on eggshells. I was waiting for the next shoe to drop [00:16:00] next phone call. What do I got to go? And I'm the, I was the oldest kid and I was only, you know, when this started 20, like, or, well, when it started, I was, I guess like eight now 21.
[00:16:11] Lauren: And then, you know, through my, you know, getting married, having my first child, all that I'm dealing with this and starting a business and navigating this. And it was just always, again, like that fear of what's going to happen next. And so it's just a really shitty place to be. And so eventually, you know, she ended up passing away in 2017 from complications from, you know, excessive drinking over the last 10 years.
[00:16:40] Lauren: She died alone, unfortunately, which. You know, and I was the first one on the scene. So it was not just like grief, but it was like that guilt of what else could I have done? Never feeling like I was going to be able to repair that relationship [00:17:00] because you know, like we, we just, there were times where we wouldn't talk.
[00:17:04] Lauren: You know, or, you know, we would be in the middle of whatever, like, we just would always be at odds, you know, with each other. And so it wasn't, like I said, just the grief of loss. It was like, I'm never going to be able to repair this. Like ever until one day I passed away, you know what I mean? No closure.
[00:17:22] Lauren: And it really sucked. And I was really angry. I don't know if you remember how angry I was. I was always angry during the whole process. Yeah. I was angry and when she passed away, it didn't go away, you know, it got worse. To a certain extent, so yeah, you know, I, it was hard to navigate that. 
[00:17:46] Ashley: Yeah. I mean, trauma, right.
[00:17:48] Ashley: Your mom's trauma that she experienced, which whatever led her to feel like she needed to drink to kind of escape that, you know, trauma. And then of course yours with experiencing her navigating [00:18:00] that and trying to navigate that and then her passing with this. What feels like unfinished business, right?
[00:18:06] Ashley: And no closure, no resolution. You know, trauma is that's what I talk about. Oftentimes trauma is such a personal experience. And it's, you know, people think that it's about whatever the actual trauma is, the thing that's happening outside of your body. And that's actually not really always is. I don't think that's really ever the case.
[00:18:26] Ashley: It's not, it's not necessarily about what happens to you. It's about how you experience what happens to you because everybody's different and that's why it is so personal. And you know, it causes us to tell ourselves these stories and these stories that we tell ourselves change how we show up in the world.
[00:18:43] Ashley: And I think, you know, I can certainly speak to that about my own experiences and my own traumas, my own abuse growing up as a child and You know, you're, it's, you're touching on that now, how that showed up for you, these stories that you told yourself that I know you and I have talked a bit about like how [00:19:00] that kind of, for you sort of led to you know, while your mom was still here, this feeling of unworthiness, but then of, of course, certainly once she was gone, because there was no resolution, can you talk a little bit about that feeling of unworthiness that you were feeling and kind of how you Where your shifts came in and kind of how that came in where you realized that that wasn't tied to something external or your mom or So would you talk a little bit about that?
[00:19:27] Lauren: Sure. So growing up, you know with my mom You very rarely heard. I'm proud of you, you know And so from a young age to try to please my mom I would do things that to try to earn that, you know, try to earn that love, try to earn that good job, you know? So from my performance at school to like whatever, you know?
[00:19:52] Lauren: Appearance whatever it was, it was like, I was always just searching for that. And it, and it, you know, I, I tied [00:20:00] my worthiness to my, my productivity to, you know, what I was doing for work, buying a house at a young age, like whatever it was, and it bled into everything. And it's still something that I have a, I have a hard time sometimes with, like I have to.
[00:20:17] Lauren: Catch it a lot because it still shows up for me where, you know, in, in the career that I have right now, I have a lot of opportunities to earn accolades and, you know, titles and, and just different trips and things like that. And it's a performance based business and it's a, it's like a double edged sword for me because.
[00:20:39] Lauren: I love that I can, you know, work hard towards what it is that I want. But at the same time, there's been instances where I've caught myself, you know, feeling unworthy, feeling less than, because again, if I, if I didn't perform a certain way or earn a certain thing, I'm down on myself [00:21:00] because then I just feel like, well, what am I doing?
[00:21:02] Lauren: Like, I'm not, I'm not deserving. I'm not the best leader. I'm not. Again, successful because I'm not out there, you know, freaking light and fires all the time, you know, not enough and not enough. Right. And I even have a tattoo that I am enough because I needed that reminder. And then it goes back to, to like, listen, she was in and out of rehab so many times and there's so many conversations where I would plead with her, like, I'm your child.
[00:21:33] Lauren: You have two other kids here. Like, are we not enough for you to get better? And so like in my head, you know, I'm thinking again, I'm putting it on. It's a bit, it's about us. Like we're not enough for her when really it was never that it was never that it was her own trauma. It was her own things. Right.
[00:21:52] Lauren: But like. As a child, when your parent is quote unquote, supposed to unconditionally love you, [00:22:00] it really feels terrible when you're pleading with someone to like get a grip on their life so that they can be here with you and with their grandchildren. And You've take it as they're not willing to do that, right?
[00:22:17] Lauren: Mm hmm. Yeah. That's how I kind of like showed up. 
[00:22:22] Ashley: Yeah. You mentioned being like, like, you know, when you're a child, how difficult that is. And I think that's a great point, but I think it's, it's not just when you're a child, right? Like when you're feeling that way as a child and then Like that just doesn't change once you become an adult, like it's not like, Oh, now I see it.
[00:22:36] Ashley: You know, like that comes with so much emotional baggage, right? Like you spoke about the unworthiness, the feeling like you weren't enough, like you got this tattooed on you. I like the point that you brought up when you said like, you know, sometimes it's so still creeps up, right? This feeling of unworthiness or not being enough, or I need to keep chasing these things.
[00:22:55] Ashley: And I, what I want anybody listening to really recognize [00:23:00] is that should always be part of the process because these triggers that we have, these things that come up, these emotional wounds, Even I don't care how far along you are on your healing journey, those things will continue to pop up. But the healing part comes in is when you're doing exactly what you're doing, right?
[00:23:16] Ashley: You're able to catch it. You're able to identify it and say, I know what this is tied to. This feels familiar. This might not be really about what's happening right now, but this feels a lot like. The seven year old was feeling when, you know, or however old you were, you know, when I was experiencing these things, it just feels familiar.
[00:23:36] Ashley: And then, so you're feeling what you're feeling by being triggered in the moment, but then it's compounded by all the other times you experienced that feeling or that, that thing that, you know, made you feel that, that sense of unworthiness or that you weren't enough or that you had to be doing more showing up differently or better or whatever.
[00:23:54] Ashley: So I liked that you kind of. Kind of touched on both of those things, but it really is such [00:24:00] a like a continuous journey, this journey of healing. It really is about that navigating. It really is about, you know, we don't just like go to this. We don't, we're not like we're here. We're healed. Like it really is this constant road, this path that we travel of continuing to become more aware and understand better.
[00:24:21] Ashley: And, you know, ask questions. To ourselves or to someone else who, who maybe we need a little more clarity from or you know, whatever, at what, at what point did you realize you know, like, okay, I, like, this is not an external thing. Like, I am my best healer and like, when did you, and you may not even be there.
[00:24:44] Ashley: I mean, this is a question only you can answer, but like, was there a point where you found like, okay, this is not. I don't need closure maybe in the way I think I need closure. Like I can still have closure even though my mom's gone. I can still feel resolution even though my [00:25:00] mom's already passed. Talk a little bit about that if you're, if you're there and if you are still getting there.
[00:25:08] Lauren: I mean, I think that grief is something that's going to be forever. Like that's something, and it's, it's one of those, again, continuous journeys. However, I do feel closure now. I do feel I know that I'm worthy. I know that it was never my burden. Right. And yeah, yeah. It's important. I'm still, still nerd, like still navigating that, but I remember I went to my friend's house and her mom and I was telling her and she said, Lauren, she's like, you know how like you make a decision in like your business that you just make like a decision and you just move forward.
[00:25:45] Lauren: And I said, yeah, you know, I totally understand that, you know, she's like, I need you to Yeah. Cool. Let go of the anger and choose. Like, you don't have to forgive your mom, but you need to give up your anger. [00:26:00] Like you need to give it to God, give it to whatever, like give it away. It's not yours. And she's like, and if you need to do that every single day at every single hour, sometimes every single minute, like keep deciding.
[00:26:16] Lauren: And it was like, one of those things where just like clicked for me and I'm like, Okay. Like I can do that. I can like give that away. It's not mine. And so I started to do that. I started to like, the anger is not mine. Like, it's just like, it literally was like flipping a light switch for me. And. I started again, like doing the inner work and and I can't, I mean, a therapy, yes.
[00:26:40] Lauren: I went to therapy, you know, I am someone who obviously I'm a podcaster. I listen to podcasts all the time. I'm a reader, you know, I just really started going inward and again, recognizing that it was never about me. And Mm-Hmm. , [00:27:00] talking about my mom talking about like, kind of went on, like, it just slowly started like the anger part.
[00:27:05] Lauren: Anyway, started to just kind of like, you know, go away and lift. And I got to the point where, again, it was almost like I was certain that okay, she, my mom was sick and mm-Hmm, , you know, that's why she created the kind of trauma that she had in her life. She created same kind of like trauma or chaos in hers and.
[00:27:27] Lauren: If I'm going, you know, heal from this, I'm, I'm going to heal not just like meme future generations, but like, I'll be able to heal her and my grandmom and, and mm-hmm. , you know, that past. And so I, I can't really even give you like a, a certain time where it just like all kind of came together because again, it's, it's been a progression and I am certain that I'm here to heal that.
[00:27:56] Lauren: Like, I think that. And most times trauma is cynical, [00:28:00] you know, and I don't know, you know, again, what the past were, but like, I just know what my mom had to deal with and, and I think I came here to be the one to stop that, you know, to, to really stop that trauma for continuing on. And, you know, like you mentioned earlier, yes, I do wish my mom was still here.
[00:28:18] Lauren: And at the same time it is the best worst thing that ever happened to me because it changed everything. It changed just how I show up. It changed again, how I interact with my kids and, and you know, it helps heal a lot of things, you know, going forward. So yeah, I mean, that's, that's how I'm, you know, it's changed now and how I'm continuing on with that journey.
[00:28:43] Ashley: Yeah. You know, it's so powerful. You know, and I, you know, I've talked to you, I think I might've even talked to you about it when I was a guest on your podcast. And I said, like the, the enemy of connection is control. And I think that we hold onto that anger and we're unable to forgive for so long. I mean, that was certainly the case with me for, [00:29:00] I mean, decades.
[00:29:01] Ashley: Until we can really give up that control and stop trying to write the narrative before we really do the work of healing and understanding and accepting ourselves for who we are. And I love that you started to and continue to give yourself the opportunity to make new choices and to like catch yourself and you know, acknowledge that this was not yours to carry, that this You know, your mom having an issue with alcohol was totally separate from, you know, your path and your journey in life, though it is connected and intertwined and did play a huge part of, of who you are you know, learning to kind of accept those things about her and recognize that.
[00:29:46] Ashley: You know, it's not that you weren't worthy enough. It's just that she was battling her own demons. And, and she was doing the best that she could. She was doing the best she could. And that's what we, that's what we do, right? We just do the best that we can. Everybody is kind of. [00:30:00] Kind of just just doing the best that we can.
[00:30:02] Ashley: You know, it's interesting, like, sorry, 
[00:30:07] Lauren: that's a great point. Is that recognizing that, you know, we all are doing the best we can. And I think that for anyone who may be like, harboring any kind of resentment or anger for. Maybe their own childhood or, you know, or even what's going on now. Like we do have to remember again, like you were saying, people are walking around with their own trauma and their own, you know, burdens.
[00:30:28] Lauren: And I think that if we could all just show each other a little more compassion, you know, what the world would be, you know, a different place. And the one thing too. You know, you may ask me this too, but the other thing that's really helped is really connecting with her from the other side, you know, which you have been able to help me with a lot.
[00:30:47] Lauren: And another, you know, friend of ours, Mitch, you know, he helped connect me with my mom and, you know, really just that. Recognizing to like, Hey, she's still here. [00:31:00] She can hear me, you know, to talk to her, to ask her to be with me. And, you know, one of the messages I did get back in November from her was to talk to her, like, she's here so that she can be the kind of mom that, and though she couldn't do that here.
[00:31:21] Lauren: on earth side connection. And she still would like to be a part of our lives. And so as soon as I got that message, you know, it's like, all right, if that's what you want, like, I'm going to talk to you every day. I'm going to ask for your guidance every day. I'm going to ask you to show me like a clear path.
[00:31:43] Lauren: And I do feel that. There's so many times where I am and was protected from, you know, things because I'm connected in that sense, you know. 
[00:31:55] Ashley: Mhm. I do think that that is so important when we can kind [00:32:00] of, you know, not ignore our pain, not, not push it away, not tuck it away, really face it head on, acknowledge it, but also.
[00:32:09] Ashley: Move forward in healthy ways. It can be so incredibly healing. And I think it is important to, you know, and you touched on it. You said, you know, you began to like, ask, you began to ask her to like, help me. I do need help with this. Right. I need help navigating these emotions or these feelings. I need, I need a sign.
[00:32:27] Ashley: I need to know you're there. I think a lot of people don't really recognize that our loved ones, once they cross, they are still with us all the time, but they won't They don't often like jump in and mess with our free will like we have to ask. We have to ask for what we need the same way. Like as my friend, I would say, Lauren, I need your help with this.
[00:32:46] Ashley: Right. You know what I mean? You're not just going to jump in and like, and it's almost like we kind of have to give them permission to show up in our lives the way that we want them to or need them to. So I love that, that you were [00:33:00] becoming more tuned into that. And more aware of your mom's presence, especially in a way, it's really beautiful that she's able to be here for you now, especially in a way that she was not able to be here in the physical world because of the things that she was kind of battling with and navigating herself and I think that that's kind of the beauty of the best, worst things that happen to us.
[00:33:28] Ashley: Right. Is that like, when, when we find, when, when we need to heal, right. When a soul needs to heal, when a person needs to heal, we really find ourselves at the feet of growth. Like it's, and it's ugly, like real messy at times, you know, it's not often pretty. And I think that's the mistake people often make is that they.
[00:33:47] Ashley: Like just want to stop feeling the way that they're feeling like they just want this feeling to end. I don't feel like I, like, I want to, it doesn't feel good. It hurts it. And it's messy. And like, I always [00:34:00] kind of say like, Oh, if it sucks, like you're on the right track, you know, like lean into that surrender to that.
[00:34:08] Lauren: Yeah, there was a time where I was numbing myself, I was numbing the pain or bulldozing through it or, you know, cause I can put on that face of like. We're just going to plow right through this and we're not going to feel a thing, but it always will catch up to you. Like it doesn't disappear. The pain will still be there.
[00:34:25] Lauren: And I had to learn that lesson too. 
[00:34:28] Ashley: And it is so important. Like, and I remember even on your podcast, when I was on your podcast and You and Megan you know, Megan had a certain impression of me when she first met me and you even said to me, like, I had no idea, like, when I had said there were days I felt like I couldn't get from one day to the next.
[00:34:42] Ashley: And you said, like, you never would have known that. You would never have known that. And that's the thing. We get really good at kind of operating from this place of disguise, right? Of like, Oh, I have to look perfect. I have to camouflage like how I really am. I can't. Show up the way that I feel like maybe I, [00:35:00] I need to, or that I really am because it feels scary.
[00:35:03] Ashley: It feels vulnerable. It feels like we're not protected. And I know for me back then, like, that was just like not an option. So it was like, Oh, let me just like, I'll make jokes or I'll make light of something. Or, you know, if I look perfect on the outside, no one's going to really get to see how. Damage I am or feel, you know, on the inside, they won't even question anything.
[00:35:27] Ashley: And that, that is really what happened. And that is just, so there's just, that just did not serve me well. I know, you know, you navigating in that way didn't serve you well either. Yeah. So, it's funny too. Like, I, I always say like, don't confuse your behavior with who you are. Right. I think, and, and like I was saying earlier, like those stories that we tell ourself change how we show up in the world.
[00:35:49] Ashley: So, like, oftentimes I know for myself when I was, I was feeling badly for, for ways that I was showing up in the world, or if I was judging somebody or gossiping and that can start to change how you [00:36:00] show up in the world too, because you feel like a bad person, you feel not worthy, you feel like you're not good enough, and that, then that compounds, like, all these other traumas you experience, and I think it's so important to really make, to really remind ourselves and to remind others that, you know, our, our We, we can't confuse those two things.
[00:36:17] Ashley: They can so easily be confused, but it's so important to be reminded that, you know, our choices and our behavior is not who we are, that those things can change, you know, we, we can change. And, and I don't even think it's a becoming, I've said this before. I don't think it's a becoming something other than what we are, what we were.
[00:36:33] Ashley: I think it's an unbecoming. I think it's, we're stripping away all those things that just didn't serve us. I don't think we need to be better than we were. Like, I think it's just. It's different. It's just learning kind of what works for us and what doesn't and how we can best not only serve our spirit and our soul, but others in a way that adds value to other people as well.
[00:36:55] Ashley: Yeah, so it's, it's very easy to, to kind of [00:37:00] confuse those two things. And You know, I, I think you've said to me before, I don't think I've ever heard this quote before, ironically, because I love quotes, but like you've said to me, like new, new level, new devil. Right. Like, I love that. I thought it was like so powerful and that's like, so true.
[00:37:15] Ashley: So can you talk about like, even. Through this journey of healing that you're going through and recognizing these that you are worthy, right? That you are enough but that you need Reminders of that sometimes and you have to catch it and check it and kind of change how you're navigating forward can you kind of talk about that a little bit that transition of You know as you continue to dive deeper and ascend higher like vibrate higher because you're diving deeper How is that like?
[00:37:46] Ashley: You What are the new things that you're experiencing that may feel hard or complicated or challenging that you're kind of having to motor through and I can kind of off the top of my head. I know surrender is something you're trying to lean into that. You've [00:38:00] really kind of struggled with. Can you can you talk a little bit about that?
[00:38:04] Lauren: I think that you were probably maybe the first one to really like, call it out. You know, the surrender part, and it's because you've kind of touched on already too, like control was something that was huge in my life because I couldn't treat anything else in my life. Meaning like, Mm-Hmm, , everything was unpredictable.
[00:38:24] Lauren: Once, like, I mean, even probably before my parents divorced, but you know, them getting divorced. You know, not knowing, say, who my dad was dating or who, you know, who I would meet next and my mom not knowing what kind of mood she would be in. You know, like I was raised in like this environment of unpredictability and then it carried through in my life.
[00:38:49] Lauren: I need to protect myself and control as much as I can. And so it showed up in relationships, showed up in my marriage. It showed up with money. It showed up [00:39:00] with you know, not sharing certain things, like not informing people. I don't want to say like keeping secret secrets, but in a way like, because I don't want to then.
[00:39:15] Lauren: Like, I'm not sure how that person will react or I don't want to be told no, or, you know, things like that. And so it, it, it played out in almost every single way it could in my life. In my, in my career, my business, it meant trying to, Control as much as I can probably even micromanage at times so that I knew what my outcome would be, you know, and I think I said this to you not that long ago.
[00:39:45] Lauren: Like, it was like, one of those things where I finally realized, like, this year in 2024, like, last year, my word was trust that I needed to trust more that things would. Work out as they should and to like, kind of like go with that. But the lessons really [00:40:00] started to deepen this year than ever. And I realized that, you know, if I continue to keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to keep getting what I'm getting.
[00:40:12] Lauren: And that meant that there was a lot of surrender that I had to really. As I was still in. Having that control and at one point, I think this was very, it's almost like I had this, I was like activated and it was almost like I felt like a facade. Like I've built my life on like, like, I don't want to say fakeness, but like.
[00:40:50] Lauren: In my own bubble to protect myself. And it's not exactly reality. If that makes sense, totally. [00:41:00] And just really like, like. Peeling back the layers even more and being truthful in every which way, even though it was super scary later, I was scared to death to share certain things because I wasn't sure of the reaction that I was going to get.
[00:41:19] Lauren: But at the same time, like, if I didn't do that, I felt like I was going to continue living in this. This facade, you know? So I'm continuing to, to really dive into that. I'm continuing to really continue to surrender and trust. And it's funny. And I've told, I I'll text you sometimes I'll be like, I was feeling this way.
[00:41:41] Lauren: And then this and this happened. And I feel like it's like God universe, whoever, like just showing me like. I told you to trust and when you do look what shows up for you, like all that abundance that you seek, all that love that you seek when you learn to let go and not hold onto it so tightly or try to [00:42:00] control so much, you're going to get what you want.
[00:42:03] Lauren: But like, you know, I don't know if anyone's ever seen like that. Like that cartoon. It's like, I think it's like God or Jesus with this big teddy bear behind his back. And then it's like a little girl holding this tiny teddy bear. And he's like telling me, and the question is like, do you trust me? And like, he wants her to give up the teddy bear, that little teddy bear, because he did something better for her.
[00:42:23] Lauren: Right. And it's kind of like that. It's like, yeah, surrendering the things that are good and trusting that even better is coming, but that's really hard and feels unsafe. Sometimes, you know, It's that vulnerability. It is hard. Inside yourself, you know, to trust, or be open to hurt, you know what I mean? 
[00:42:46] Ashley: Yeah, totally.
[00:42:47] Ashley: I love how you talk, how, I love that analogy with the teddy bear. But I also love how you touched on, you know, does it all go back to that control, that need to have control to establish that sense [00:43:00] of safety and protection, right? And, and I think a lot of times we feel the need to keep control of certain situations because we.
[00:43:08] Ashley: Yeah. Oftentimes make assumptions of how someone else or will respond or show up or not show up most often. I know that was the case for me. I was like, they're not, I'm not asking for what I need because I'm be disappointed if they don't show up. And like, no, why aren't I worth it to everybody? Right.
[00:43:23] Ashley: So I think we make these assumptions because we're afraid and then we're afraid to ask questions. We're afraid to ask for what we need. We're afraid to show up as our authentic selves. When really I think oftentimes all we really need is Like a little more clarity, a little more time, a little more stillness to sit in that space of like really asking ourselves, what, what is it that I need?
[00:43:48] Ashley: You know? So how did you, I know you would oftentimes call me or text me and say like, I know, I know this is about surrender. Like I know this is about this, but like, how do I do that? How do I surrender? [00:44:00] Like it just feels so hard. So in those really hard moments that you've reached out to me, or even the times that you didn't, when you just felt like you were really struggling to, like, knowing that you needed to let go, knowing that you needed to release control and surrender and kind of lean in and sit with this discomfort that felt like literally physically painful at times.
[00:44:24] Ashley: How did you like, how and why did you start to continue to do that? And, and what have you kind of seen as a result of, of, of really continuing to just like, okay, I need to trust. I need to. 
[00:44:38] Lauren: Well, the why is again, knowing that there's so much more available and continuing like to do like, you know, the definition insanity, right.
[00:44:47] Lauren: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Like that's kind of like the boat that I was in. And then the how really, it's really about getting as present as possible [00:45:00] when it comes to surrender, like a really good example to was, you know, I was in Disney world a couple of weeks ago with my family and.
[00:45:08] Lauren: You know, I can work from wherever because I can work from my phone. And I decided that, listen, I'm going to be gone a week, but everything will be okay. That yes, there's a lot going on. Like I'll be able to check in here and there, but like, I'm going to be off my phone and I'm going to be fully present with my family.
[00:45:27] Lauren: And I trust that I'm going to be taken care of. My business is going to run without me. Whatever's meant to be will be basically, you know, I used to say, and I actually know this saying it's meant to be to me, which is like, now I'm like, shitty saying like, oh my God. I, I really, it's again, stepping into that surrender and trust really means like literally committed but not attached.
[00:45:56] Lauren: I am committed to doing [00:46:00] X, Y, and Z, but I am not attached to the results, right? And that can go for relationships, work, whatever it may be, right? I am committed to doing what I said I was going to do, but I'm not going to, if I don't get the desired result, then go in and try to manipulate things. Right. So it's really letting things be man, like really getting, like you said, still like focusing on my breathing, getting out, taking a walk.
[00:46:26] Lauren: If I find myself getting like all wound up, which I often do still, right. I'm a very heady person. I get outside. Right. I put my feet in the grass. I focus on, sometimes it's like as simple as my dog, you know, like she's next to me, like, maybe just like really looking at her and petting her and. looking at her in the eyes, like silly things.
[00:46:46] Lauren: Right. Or journaling is another way that I like to like get out of my head and dump it like onto the paper. Meditation. I mean, I am. Really just working on like getting my mind more still [00:47:00] because it, it is sometimes it's a source of inspiration, but it's also the source of freaking anxiety sometimes because I am like, I said, I get caught in my head a lot.
[00:47:09] Lauren: And the gratitude piece too, like truly trying to feel grateful. And I'm not just saying like, I'm grateful for something. I mean, feel the gratitude has really helped with the anxiety and also with. Back to being present, you know, and sometimes, you know, you will find me like doing this out loud, you know, you know, where I'm saying these things and really trying to like, focus again on that feeling.
[00:47:38] Lauren: And again, it's a knowing, you know, there's there's. Sometimes there's no other way to say it other than it's a knowing too, that everything is working as exactly as it should be. Not resisting things, you know what I mean? Allowing things to, like, for example, you know, another one is before, if I say had a cancellation, right.
[00:47:59] Lauren: Or [00:48:00] again, with a business thing, it didn't, I didn't get the desired result. I used to get so upset about it. And now I'm like, you know what, that's exactly how that's supposed to work out. So. You know, this or something better is coming my way, you know? 
[00:48:13] Ashley: It is so, so true. I think a lot of times we often operate from this space.
[00:48:17] Ashley: I know I did for majority of my life, right? Like if I hit a rough patch in my life or if things weren't going perfectly, I just like wanted to get through it. Like, Oh, like this just feels awful, right? Like why is this happening to me? Like why me, why me, whatever. But I think what a lot of people don't is we develop a very expanded state of awareness through life's ups and downs.
[00:48:37] Ashley: and downs. That's, that's what allows us to have that expanded state of awareness. And but that's, if you allow it, it's, if you lean in, it's, if you can sit in that discomfort and sit in stillness. And I, I couldn't agree with you more. I think gratitude is so incredibly important. I think I mean, I've talked about this on my podcast all the time about how I love going to therapy.
[00:48:58] Ashley: It's like my one non [00:49:00] negotiable every week. It's like my one hour that I can just talk about what's happening in my life and decompress. And it's like my gym membership. And I say, you know, at the ends of my therapy session every week, my therapist says, okay, let's, let's like, let's go. Breathe and she's like such a good vibe.
[00:49:14] Ashley: I just like adore her so much. And like, at the end of it, she always says like, what do you want? Like, what do you want to take away from this? And literally for like the last probably six weeks, I'm like, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, but like, I feel like the more grateful that I am, the more I can find gratitude really in everything and see like, especially the hardest parts of my life, the best worst things that ever happened to me.
[00:49:39] Ashley: Finding gratitude in those things has literally made all the difference and it's created so much more abundance in my life and allowed me to connect with people on such a different way. And has just opened up so many different opportunities to connect with myself. But then that connection has allowed me to [00:50:00] connect with other people in different and meaningful ways.
[00:50:02] Ashley: And I think that's You know, what people don't realize when they're resistant because they are trying to kind of maintain that, that control you know, and, and kind of, be like when, when you're so tied to the outcome, so I know that you kind of being able to surrender to sort of all of this that we've talked about, right?
[00:50:22] Ashley: Like the surrendering to the loss of your mom, surrendering really, and leaning into that feeling of like things being unresolved and not really having closure, not that. Being able to kind of tie a nice, neat little bow on this. Like we like to, you and I, especially like how you've been able to do that.
[00:50:40] Ashley: And like, I can really see how that's showing up in your life and your world and your business and your relationships in the way that you're, that you're literally showing up in the world. Like you, you're, it's just like a different energy. It's a different light. And when you're able to do that, it shines a light on other people [00:51:00] Would not be there.
[00:51:01] Ashley: Otherwise, you know, so that's why I think this work, this internal work, this personal work, this growth, this healing is so important for everyone to do and really kind of lean into because, you know, a lot of times I know for me in the beginning of this journey, I was like, it's all about me. Like, why, why, why?
[00:51:19] Ashley: Like, me, me, me. Like, and now I realize because I have such an expanded state of awareness, like we are so connected. All of us are so connected. Like I'm no different than me. I'm no different than the person that chose to hurt me. Like I have empathy and compassion for him. Like all those things. I think it just allows, I think it just allows for, for so much.
[00:51:39] Ashley: For so much grace and such a deeper connection. But so now that you've kind of been able to do that and see how that is sort of playing out differently in your life and allowing you to show up in different and more meaningful ways, not just for other people, but especially for yourself. How do you feel like I mean I've seen it I [00:52:00] can tell you how I see it playing out in your life But but tell everybody who doesn't know you how that is allowing you to have a deeper spiritual connection maybe be more aware of You know, that connection you have to your mom or other people that you've lost in your life and, and really feel guided spiritually, not just by your own spirit, but, but your loved ones and, and your angels and your guides and kind of that knowing and that trust, like, how does that, how is that showing up for you now differently than you feel like?
[00:52:33] Ashley: You were able to see it before, cause it was showing up. You just weren't seeing it. 
[00:52:37] Lauren: Right. So I guess, you know, I'm starting to see more of the signs that they are here with me. I feel supported, you know, I feel like. Like that sense of like, everything is going to work out just as it's supposed to be and I'm okay with it.
[00:52:55] Lauren: Whereas before I was still very much stuck in like that [00:53:00] masculine energy of like, I'm going to do like, like all of the, the self help and personal growth things, but I'm not going to like tie it all together. You know what I mean? Or I'm not going to like. You know, be open to the lesson. It was like, I'm going to do the work, but I'm not going to like integrate the work.
[00:53:18] Lauren: There's a difference between doing the work and actually doing the work and then integrating it into your life. Right. That's a huge difference. And so now it's like slowing down because I like to go fast. Right. That's one thing you do too. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I like to beat my GPS. But yeah, slowing down.
[00:53:42] Ashley: It's a challenge. 
[00:53:43] Lauren: And. It's a challenge, right? We all like a challenge. Slowing down and just and, and, and connecting the dots and listening more, you know, I used to, again, seem like going back to doing all the things like, okay, I'm [00:54:00] gonna, I'm gonna journal and I'm gonna meditate and I'm gonna read and I'm gonna listen to a podcast and I'm, you know, I'm gonna go for a walk and.
[00:54:07] Lauren: Good. And I'm just filling my day in my mind with more busy ness, and I found that I just need to let more of that fall away, and get quiet, and get still, and I'm gonna hear what I need to hear, and I'm gonna feel what I need to feel so I'm really starting to develop more of that intuition, I'm starting to really Trust myself too, which is something that you've encouraged me a lot over the last, you know, a few weeks about like really learning to trust that I don't need to search for any more freaking answers outside of myself.
[00:54:43] Lauren: Right? I have everything I need and I have a team of people behind me that are like eager to give me guidance, but I just have to like really again, get quiet and slow down and to be able to receive that. 
[00:54:58] Ashley: That's amazing. And that's a [00:55:00] really great point. I love that you, that you mentioned like you really have, you're really starting to trust your intuition.
[00:55:05] Ashley: And I think what a lot of people don't recognize is that intuition really starts with a really keen sense of the freaking obvious. It was like, but. We don't pay attention to it because we're thinking about, like, we're worried about something from the past. Could this happen again? Or fearing what could potentially happen in the future instead of just being present.
[00:55:24] Ashley: Exactly what you were saying, right? Like, just being sitting in stillness, being aware, listening. You know, feeling what is your body feeling like what's your body telling you like listening to those things dropping into your breath meditating, you know, not just like I have to journal today. Check. I have to meditate today.
[00:55:40] Ashley: Check. It's like, no, it's not. I'm not doing these things because I have to where I need to. It's Like this is what my body needs, but I need to be present in those moments. So much about being present, which, which I, I love. I mean, the reality, and I said this before, like, right. I am my best healer. You are your best healer.
[00:55:59] Ashley: I mean, [00:56:00] we spend so much of our lives looking externally for these things to validate us in our lives when really everything, can really be found within. So, I mean, we talked about your best, worst thing to date. You know, obviously the reason that we feel unsettled oftentimes is because we're not supposed to settle.
[00:56:20] Ashley: But there's a very fine line between realizing we're not supposed to settle and surrendering and releasing the control, right. And not having feeling like we have to race from one thing to another thing. So I, so I wanted to ask you about. Where in your life are you finding the difference between when you're operating from that ego energy, right?
[00:56:44] Ashley: Which is competitive and demanding and wants to be in control versus that soul energy. Like, where are you finding a difference now? Or recognizing where you were operating from ego and now you're operating from your soul energy. 
[00:56:59] Lauren: Yeah. I [00:57:00] mean, I think I get into that mode of like worry, you know, when I start worrying about.
[00:57:07] Lauren: Do I have, do I have all the right answers, you know, like is what I want coming just like worry in general. Like that is, that's the ego trying to protect me and trying to get me into like, almost like that scarcity mode. So that I go and I take some action and masculinize whatever it is, right. That I, that it feels like I should do.
[00:57:28] Lauren: Whereas like the soul is like trust, right? Like that's the biggest, I think. Difference for me is like, when you're in that present, you know, mode, that mentality, whatever you want to say it. And you can really trust that, listen, like everything is going to ebb and flow, you know? And it's like, it's kind of like, you just got to.
[00:57:50] Lauren: It sounds, it sounds easier said than done and it is, it's easier said than done, but it's almost like letting things kind of just like pass through some [00:58:00] come in, some go out and being okay with that. You know, I think that's like the soul. That's me recognizing, you know, operating from a sense of soul.
[00:58:09] Lauren: I also think too, that connection, right? So not getting I don't want to say upset because we're human. We do get upset still. Right. But like, the ego is the one that gets mad and jealous and. Making stories or assumptions from other people where the soul's like, all right, like, no worries. You know what I mean?
[00:58:31] Lauren: It's kind of like, they show up as they are, and it has nothing to do with you. And you realize that, and so then you don't take things personally, and you don't make assumptions about things. So it's, it goes super uptight. And soul is like laid back, cool, calm, and collected. You know, that's like the only way I can really like maybe describe it for 
[00:58:56] Ashley: you.
[00:58:57] Ashley: Yeah. No, I love that. I love [00:59:00] that. So just a couple more things I want to ask you. So I, I believe, I feel, I know that you believe this as well, but that everybody is created with purpose on purpose. So talk to me, tell me what, what is your purpose? I know cause we're like besties, but tell everybody else, what is your purpose and what are you fulfilling that?
[00:59:19] Ashley: Purpose and how, 
[00:59:22] Lauren: yeah, so my purpose two fold, I guess, number one, I think my, my main purpose here is to really I guess be that change maker, be the person who's going to shake shit up, you know, be the person who may have wild ideas and may seem sometimes out of the box, but like, My intentions are to kind of break you out of the habit of whatever it is that you're in and break you out of those limiting beliefs and, and really show you that, again, there is.
[00:59:54] Lauren: So much more love and abundance on the other side of healing. Personally, as [01:00:00] far as my family goes, I mean, I think that I am the conduit. I think I am the one who came to be the messenger to help heal again, like my mom and, and past generations, and then going forward, you know, so that we aren't going to experience that, you know, so that called drama, trauma, you know?
[01:00:20] Lauren: So I think it's really breaking repetitive habits, breaking the trauma, you know, and really living from a place of like freedom, I guess, in a sense, right? Like free of like, again, the chains of, again, trauma and old beliefs or limiting beliefs. Really just leaning into love and abundance and, and, and peace, peace within, you know, because I think that for a long time I didn't experience that.
[01:00:54] Lauren: And there's still obviously times where I feel like there's like, I'm at war on the [01:01:00] inside. Right. But like, yeah, of course, overall, I, I want that sense of peace, not just for myself, but for everyone else. And that comes with like acceptance of your own self and really loving yourself. 
[01:01:12] Ashley: I think that's a great point.
[01:01:14] Ashley: I think you know, there's a quote that says like, we're best equipped to heal the person that we used to be. Yes. And I think, It's so important that you're using your voice and you're sharing your experience and you're, you're leaning in. I know like you're real the other day, you were like, I had a meltdown this morning.
[01:01:29] Ashley: And you know, I just like felt like a gut check because I read something or I saw something and it just made me feel like, am I showing up the way I need to be showing up? And I think that that's so important to take those opportunities because You know, your name is going to be in rooms that your feet never entered because someone's being inspired by you showing up and being vulnerable in a way that maybe they're not able or ready to do at the moment, but it's going to shine a little bit of light that wasn't there before and allow someone to [01:02:00] maybe see a glimpse of themselves.
[01:02:01] Ashley: of themselves in you, right? Cause we're all mirrors. And we'll really allow them to do that. So I, yeah, so I love that. So, the next thing I want to ask you is, you know, we've, we talked earlier about how over the last decade plus that we've known each other, especially we have like really come a long way.
[01:02:17] Ashley: Gosh, it's like so amazing when I think of Woo sister. But how is your, yeah. Oh yeah. I'm really proud of us. I got to say I am really freaking proud of us. I 
[01:02:28] Lauren: am too. I am too. 
[01:02:29] Ashley: Yeah, it's, it's pretty amazing when you can be like, you know, write the literally write the ending to your own story. That's like real freedom, you know, like it's not just what's happened to you or what your experience has been.
[01:02:45] Ashley: experiences have been, but what you really choose to put in the world. And so I want to ask you, how is your best better than it used to be?
[01:02:57] Lauren: How is my best better [01:03:00] than it used to be? 
[01:03:02] Ashley: Cause you know, it's a lot different now than it was 12 years ago. 
[01:03:07] Lauren: Oh man. Well, first off, I'm showing up without a chip on my shoulder now, you know, 10 years ago, totally operating from a place of trying to prove myself, trying to seek out that external validation, that acceptance, that love.
[01:03:27] Lauren: And really I just needed to go inwards and love myself and accept myself the whole freaking time. Yeah. So, you know, I always was someone who was deeply interested in connecting with others always. And I think sometimes maybe because I didn't want to connect with myself, you know, it was easier to connect with other people than it was to connect with myself.
[01:03:57] Lauren: Let's be honest, like when you got to peel back all the layers [01:04:00] yourself, it fucking hurts sometimes and it's scary and it's scary and no, I know that vulnerability is one of those things. Like I believe in vulnerability being power. And connection, right? That is, that is where you connect with people. And so I would just, you know, encourage that girl less than 11 years ago to really start being more vulnerable, start like taking off all the bullshit of what people have put on you and, or what you think you should be.
[01:04:36] Lauren: Right? And just be you and get to know yourself, get to trust yourself, get to love yourself, accept yourself. 
[01:04:44] Ashley: I love that. I love that. It's so powerful. It's so powerful when you can, you know, like what you're talking about, the things that kind of held you back before the same things I felt like held me back before.
[01:04:54] Ashley: And it was just fear. It was just being afraid of being judged or not being accepted or not. Feeling [01:05:00] as valued as I wanted to feel and it was like really looking externally, but when you can really make that connection within and you know, commit to learning all of the beautiful pieces of who you are, regardless of what that looks like.
[01:05:17] Ashley: It can really change how you see the world. Yeah. So that is going to make me cry. But so, so what can people find you doing? What, what are you, what are you up to? Where are you? If people want to find you and hear more about Lauren Wheeler extraordinaire, what what can they, what can they find you doing and where can they find you?
[01:05:40] Lauren: Sure. So you can find me at Lauren underscore, underscore Wheeler, underscore, underscore on Instagram or on Facebook, you can find me always open to a DM. I am someone who I know like 10 years ago, we probably didn't seem so approachable Ash, but I think now. I think [01:06:00] now super approachable and super like open to conversation always, and encourage again, that vulnerability and kind of in conversation.
[01:06:08] Lauren: I am, you know, a lot of times you can find me nowadays, either on a motocross track, a football field, a soccer field, or a dance studio, depending on what my kids are doing. But I'm also out. In nature a lot, walking my dog I am working from home, you know, on my, on my Arbonne business. And we are working on some huge goals and, you know, behind the scenes on that too, it's really about empowering people.
[01:06:39] Lauren: To get started or continue that personal growth journey. That's really what, even though it's a health and wellness company. Yes. But like, you know, this already like a deep down, it's, we are really equipping people with the tools they need to work on themselves. Which again, bleeds into everything in their life.
[01:06:56] Lauren: And you can find me podcasting on shattering ceilings. [01:07:00] That's the podcast that me and my friend, Megan we host and we release episodes every Tuesday. And you can soon find me in the coaching space outside of. You know, my art bond business right now I'm working on getting certified on human design, which has really been something that's helped me get to know myself further and understand what my gifts are and maybe the things that I need help with.
[01:07:26] Lauren: And to, to be able to also understand other people, like I, I, you know, I read, I know Ashley's and you know, I know like all my close friends. So I understand too, like how to just again, like, and also like. understand their strengths and maybe what they need help with and give them some guidance there.
[01:07:47] Lauren: So, you know, my true passion is it's, it's really coaching people and empowering people. And so no matter where you find me, you know, you, you can, you would [01:08:00] know that I would be always up for giving you a word of encouragement or some love, you know, 
[01:08:06] Ashley: Yeah, totally. I love the human design piece that you're diving into now.
[01:08:11] Ashley: It really is so fascinating because it, it is such, it's just like really just another tool to be able to help you navigate life, you know, knowing your strengths and weaknesses. So that is really cool. I, I love kind of learning more about that through you and, and you know, sort of what you're kind of venturing into now.
[01:08:32] Ashley: So, I think that's going to continue. You know, you always add value to people, but I think now you're going to be able to do this in just a grander capacity, which I think is, is really, it's incredible. And I think it's what people are looking for. I think a lot of people really are craving this ability to step into their own purpose, but they're not really sure how to do that.
[01:08:52] Ashley: And they're stuck or they're blocked. Like, I mean, I was, I was, You know, always very intuitive and in tune to the other side, but then once I [01:09:00] really dealt with everything that was really keeping me stuck in this emotional trauma, it literally was like, you know, the, the gates flew off basically you know, and, and that's what happened.
[01:09:10] Ashley: So I, I'm really excited to see how you know, that plays out for you as you kind of get into this new, exciting space. Thank 
[01:09:20] Lauren: you. I'm excited too. 
[01:09:21] Ashley: Is, is there anything else you want anybody, everybody that's listening to know? 
[01:09:29] Lauren: The one thing I can, I, you know, I will always say, you know, is that you are worthy.
[01:09:35] Lauren: You are worthy of working on yourself. You are, you are worthy of loving you are worthy of acceptance and you don't need to look to outside sources for those things. There is no explanation other than like, You were made that way, you know, you, you were always enough and you always will be no matter what you do.
[01:09:56] Lauren: And so that's something that I know for [01:10:00] me, I. I remember first hearing that, you know, when we first got involved with Arbonne and we would hear leaders speak life over us, and I would just cry and cry and cry because I never had anyone do that. And I don't think you can hear it enough. So that's the last bit that I would have to share.
[01:10:16] Lauren: Yeah. 
[01:10:18] Ashley: It is so true. It is really so important. So I, I appreciate you giving that final reminder for everybody. Cause I do think that people need to hear all the time. I say it all the time too. You're, you know, you're always enough. You'll always be enough. You are enough. It really is so important, but you know, thank you so much for being here with me today for being vulnerable and real and really sharing all the parts of yourself that, you know, not everyone may get to see all the time.
[01:10:43] Ashley: And You know, it's been It's been, it's been a decade or so, but I want to give a huge thank you, not only to you and to my listeners for joining us on another powerful episode of the podcast. But I want you to continue to, to stay tuned for new and exciting [01:11:00] episodes that'll be coming up. And I really hope that today's conversation has given you some insight.
[01:11:03] Ashley: Some kind of insight and some useful takeaways that you may be able to apply to your own lives and maybe even just some small tiny little way. Please don't forget to like, share and comment so that I can continue to deliver the things and the messages that matter most to you. Go ahead and be sure to hit that subscribe button so you never ever miss an episode filled with love, laughter, and enlightenment.
[01:11:23] Ashley: You can also go over to the channel for healing on Facebook and on Instagram for more inspiration, reels and videos, quotes, all kinds of good stuff. And if you want to check out the channel for healing. com to learn more about me, the service, the services that I offer and how to book with me, that would be awesome too.
[01:11:39] Ashley: You can also check out my weekly blog pictures. Videos of live readings will be up soon as well as clips of my 60 second sparks, which I hope will be sure to add some added. Inspiration. Until next time, guys. Thanks so much. 
[01:11:54] Lauren: Thank you.