You Get To Decide with Allison Gallagher - Part 3

Join us for the final episode of our inspiring conversation with Allison Gallagher as she shares her journey of taking ownership of her life and mastering her thoughts. Discover how she has learned to redefine the meaning of words and thoughts, and how this has empowered her to create a fulfilling life.

In this episode, we'll explore:

• The power of self-determination: How Allison has taken control of her own narrative and shaped her destiny.
• The impact of words and thoughts: The role language plays in our lives and how we can use it to empower ourselves.
• Overcoming challenges: Allison's experiences of facing adversity and turning them into opportunities for growth.
• The importance of self-care: How Allison prioritizes self-care and maintains a healthy balance in her life.

Whether you're seeking to improve your mental well-being, increase your self-confidence, or simply live a more fulfilling life, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice.

http://allisongallagher.com/
Instagram: @yourcoachallisongallagher

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@shatteringceilingspod, @meggs.n.baconnn, and @lauren__wheeler__

Season 2 Song Credit: Dimitrex "Stinky Sax"
Season 1 Song credit: Fleece Mob "Will Travel"

Transcript

SC - Episode 108
[00:00:00] Allison: My first business coach she's global and she makes a shit ton of money and she lives in Springfield, Illinois, and she always said family first and she said Yes, I have goals and dreams and I have ambition. Because her ambition is to absolutely single handedly change the photography industry.
[00:00:26] Allison: And that's just not easy and she's doing pretty good. And it doesn't take, she, she's a drop in the water and she's making eight figures, right? So, but she said, I'm not coming home to an empty mansion. And there were times where I would, things would come up for me in my journey. I'll never forget. I wanted to go to one of her immersions.
[00:00:48] Allison: And my daughter was in her immersions were in Springfield, Illinois, twice a year, and they were very special and it was three days during the week. She always wanted to make sure family 1st, so she never [00:01:00] did a weekend 3 days quick. Well, it was in September and my daughter's asthma always flared up in September.
[00:01:07] Allison: Late, late August, the asthma attack would hit and then well into September, I hardly worked because we were trying to figure it out. And my husband didn't want me to go. And I was fucking angry, dude. First of all, I paid for this. And it's powerful for me and I could do it online, right? You could be virtual.
[00:01:29] Allison: So she said to me, Alison, your husband needs you there family first, and everybody has different relationships. And I don't know what the answers are for everybody, but she instilled in me to check myself on my priorities and because our ego can get high [00:02:00] and mighty. Okay. Cause my ego, I mean, I'm telling you at 21 years old, I looked at my husband, we were dating and I said, you don't make enough money.
[00:02:09] Allison: You're not good enough. I deserve better than this. Because I was projecting onto him all the things I wasn't, right? So that ego, she's still in there. She's very quiet. But I recognize that being too big for my bridges and say, get the fuck out of here. I got this immersion. I'm going. And because I would have, I owe, anytime I traveled, my husband does not, my husband used to be very triggered.
[00:02:32] Allison: We would fight when I traveled because I think we would dig and get to the bottom of He wants to make sure I'm safe at all times, and he can't if I'm traveling alone, that triggers him and my dad traveled and took us all over the world. And he's afraid that I'm going to get a piece of that love. And I'm going to go right.
[00:02:53] Allison: Cause I love to travel. Let me tell you something. I love it. So we will fight. [00:03:00] Okay. So he didn't even like me traveling. So I always set it up whenever I travel. My mom stayed. There was this. I listen, you know, I made sure his life was still run smooth. Right. Because he's out of the house. It's 12, 14 hours sometimes, and I had to make that work.
[00:03:18] Allison: But when she said to me, because she knew my relationship, she knew the man I have. And I said, I'm so irate. He's making he wants me to stay. And I don't know if I, because she talked me into staying home. My business coach talked me into putting my family first and I admire her so much for that because she walks the walk of her talk.
[00:03:45] Allison: They still live in the same house. She is pressure washing her driveway. Her husband is an architect. They share a building together. They have three kids and it is her family first in the big business that she has. My other [00:04:00] business coach works three days a week. Seven figures. Wow. Three days a week.
[00:04:06] Allison: Now she's working up, but she's a new mom. She's a new mom. She's a brand new mom. So she took us through her pregnancy. She took us through her postpartum. She took us through all of it. And she's now working five days a week, I think presently because she's restructuring her business. But now in the grind, in the first hundred, 200, 300 K, you can't work.
[00:04:27] Allison: You're not working through this week. You're not right now, but she is proof. I've had plenty of proof of women, moms. That work three days a week running seven figure businesses. Okay. I'm going to look at that proof of what is possible, right? Like I want to be an example of what is possible. 
[00:04:46] Lauren: Yeah. 
[00:04:46] Allison: A thousand percent.
[00:04:47] Allison: Okay. And that's who I look to of what is possible. I have my own mentors. But coming back to marriage, I was resentful, but I'm so [00:05:00] grateful. I had her in my ear who I admire to just check myself. Yeah. And in my marriage, I look through my thoughts and because she said, I don't want to come home to an empty mansion.
[00:05:20] Allison: That's not why I'm doing this. And it it, I check in with that, right? Cause I do, I have these big goals and I have all the things and all, whatever. And if it all went away tomorrow and I only had my husband and my daughter. I'd be fine. I'd be fine. I would be, but I think that I would not have said that 10 years ago.
[00:05:47] Allison: Like that's a Testament of me and my thoughts. And I do believe we talked about this, whatever it was yesterday on my seminar. If one person in the relationship changes you can change two people. And I'm a Testament of that. And there are marriage coaches [00:06:00] that don't even talk to the spouse.
[00:06:01] Allison: They talk to one person in the marriage. Right. You know, because it really only takes one person, but you do got to check the ego, right? Yeah, right. What's more important? I, you know, I want fulfillment and peace over whatever my ego is telling me I deserve. Hmm. Right. You know, 
[00:06:22] Megan: right. I think it's so easy to attach what we deserve to like, monetary things or like, of course.
[00:06:28] Megan: But I mean, I can only speak for myself from a young age, underneath the success that I, you know, want was love, partnership, family. So if we're forgetting what was our initial driver in the process of trying to get to where we're going, we're going to get to the end. Not be happy with our success, you know, that's where those empty, sad days come from because how we are 
[00:06:57] Allison: here is how we're going to be here.
[00:06:59] Allison: Right. [00:07:00] And people are watching. Right. So, 
[00:07:02] Megan: yeah, 
[00:07:02] Allison: How you are here is how you're going to be there. So how do 
[00:07:06] Megan: you want to show up there? That's that whole saying money doesn't buy happiness, right? Because if you look at that in a certain way money definitely makes stuff easier. If you know your bills are paid, if you don't need it to be happy, right?
[00:07:17] Megan: If you are waiting for happiness, or if you are relying on the money for happiness, right? 
[00:07:22] Allison: Terrible. 
[00:07:22] Megan: Nothing changes. Yeah. 
[00:07:24] Allison: It's not. It's a belief. It's going to chase you. It is a belief. It is a delusion. It's a delusion. Your brain is offering you that it's going to be better there than here. So I promise you, whoever's watching, when you get there, there's going to be a move that you're going to roll the goalposts and it's never going to be true fulfillment because it's not about that existential thing.
[00:07:50] Allison: It's the belief in your head. That it's not good enough here. That is the belief you have to dig through. Why isn't it good enough here? Why isn't it, [00:08:00] why isn't this enough for you? Right? So, that was a huge change for me and that because, and enough people, enough coaches said it's me. And I'm telling you, if my business went away tomorrow, if I never reached my goals, but I got to come home every day to this house,
[00:08:19] Allison: Perfect life. Perfect life. That's a belief. That's a belief. That's a neutral, right? The circumstance is I didn't reach the goal. My thought is I have a beautiful life regardless. You could think all kinds of things about that neutral circumstance, right? And you show very different in your life and in your business.
[00:08:51] Allison: I have to check in, right? Cause my brain's like not happening fast enough, right? Always, right. It's a natural occurrence in our high [00:09:00] achievers, right? We're always looking outside of ourselves. For what we're not, that's why we high achieve, right? I mean, so, but I, and my, but my husband has taught me, my husband does not he's not driven by money.
[00:09:14] Allison: I used to resent that when we first got married. Because money was a huge thing in my home. Right. And it also showed me my dad was powerful and we did very spontaneous things in the eighties. I'll never forget. He came home from who knows how much money he made. He's like, it was 11 o'clock at night on a Friday or 10 o'clock at night on a Friday.
[00:09:35] Allison: Oh no. It was probably about seven 30 at night. He came home on a Friday and he said, pack your bags. We're going to New York city for the weekend. And he's like, each of you call a friend, we're going to take each one of your friends. And I couldn't get a hold of anyone and my sister got a hold of her girlfriend and at 1130 at night, we were eating at Hard Rock Cafe on Broadway.
[00:09:55] Allison: And I was like, my father's a fucking rock star, right? [00:10:00] And I'm sure there's a part of me, big part of me that believes that's the role I should play for my daughter. And I'm not in that space to do that. We're navigating a lot of different things financially than my dad did, and I'm just not there.
[00:10:16] Allison: Right. And what am I making that mean? My therapist is the 1 that reminded me. You are creating an emotionally safe space for your daughter. What do you what more do you think she need? You didn't have that. So let's get your priorities straight. My therapy said, my therapist said that to me. 
[00:10:34] Lauren: That's a great, that's a great reminder for sure.
[00:10:37] Megan: That brings up something that one of my teachers used to say all the time and honestly I didn't understand it until I hit motherhood. But she would talk about how navigating relationships with grandparents was the topic of conversation and how a lot of times we, like, we want to raise our kids a certain way, right?
[00:10:55] Megan: We live in a, like a low sugar household. And something that I struggle with [00:11:00] is that my mom and Aaron's mom love to treat the kids. So they go to McDonald's, they go to get ice cream, they do all the things right. And she pointed out That desire, right? And for this situation, I'm thinking that desire to be that rockstar for your kid is actually kind of selfish, right?
[00:11:19] Megan: Because it's about you. I feel good when I can do this, right? I don't think the long term effects of my decision. I'm thinking in that moment, my kid's going to love me and they're going to think I'm the best ever because I took him to get ice cream. But my family has a predisposition to diabetes, right?
[00:11:35] Megan: So building really healthy relationships with food. And learning to like things that are going to fuel our body is important to me. So that desire, like, Oh, my mom took the kids to get ice cream. Now I can't do it for three weeks. That's about me. That's not about my kids. Right? Isn't 
[00:11:53] Allison: that so interesting?
[00:11:55] Allison: Isn't that so interesting? And that's why and when we talk about who [00:12:00] you're, why and who I'm capable of coaching, I hired a coach because I'm a high achiever. I want to be a better mom. And that's who I coach high achieving women. I mean, I coach anybody, but I can see myself relating the most to high achieving moms who are scared and want to be better for their kids.
[00:12:19] Allison: Right. That's who you 
[00:12:20] Lauren: attract because of it too. I mean, I think that that's your attracting those people because that's what you are. 
[00:12:26] Allison: And I've talked to and the, one of the biggest problems, and I was even talking about this last night, we were having a conversation, I was with like five or six women.
[00:12:35] Allison: We, we make our kids a reflection of us. Right. And I do not do that. I come at her neutrally and I have to remind my husband and my sometimes it's blurred and clouded. Right. But I don't even see what she wears. I don't even see what her hair looks like. I don't look at that. Nothing at all. I don't look at her [00:13:00] eyebrows.
[00:13:00] Allison: I don't look at, I just don't, I don't look at, I see her and I'm like, how do you feel today in your clothes? You know, whatever. I feel good. That's it. And I'll never forget you know, even her behavior. She had two years ago, I guess she was in a Christian school. I moved her during COVID to a small school and she took 5 off the floor and was buying everybody ice cream.
[00:13:25] Allison: She found 5 on the floor. She'd buy everybody ice cream. I get an email from the teacher that kid lost 5. I see all my kids buying everybody ice cream and she took it. Right. And. I made it mean nothing. I questioned her curiosity and compassion. I was very neutral. I, it's not a reflection of me. If it was a reflection of me, how would I act?
[00:13:46] Allison: I would freak the fuck out. I'd be trying to protect the other parent. I'd be trying to explain my side. It's not a reflection of me. This little girl found money. And guess what? She has a mom. That's like, you're a money magnet. [00:14:00] I tell her you're a money magnet. And so she's trying to navigate what's hers.
[00:14:05] Allison: And what is it? And also urgency, right? Which is a natural thing in human beings. Right? So I had a conversation with her calmly. We talked about it. I emailed the teacher. I'm like, you know, I handled it. Thank you. She ended up dealing with it. She wrote a little letter to the girl apologizing. She ended up bringing money in and giving her money back and buying her ice cream and whatever it is.
[00:14:30] Allison: But if I made that a reflection of me, you act very different. She's a reflection of her, her little brain, which she's figuring out she's a human. And when my daughter was about five years old, she'd wear two different flip flops. Which I loved but my husband did not my husband likes everything in a nice little box Okay, I grew up.
[00:14:55] Allison: I grew up with an entrepreneur dad who was very Extreme thinking [00:15:00] right? He grew up in Everything is very formal and he didn't he wanted her to go change your flip flops. I said yo This is her way at five years old of expressing herself. 
[00:15:12] Lauren: Yeah. You should see the outfits my five year old wears I'm just like, same.
[00:15:17] Lauren: Exactly. 
[00:15:18] Allison: And I said, you this is what you're gonna wear. You're making this mean something. What do you, it's not means anything. She's happy. What's more important. What other people think are our kids happy. So she wore those two different flip flops until she grew out of them. And then she stopped.
[00:15:34] Allison: And when she stopped wearing two different flip flops, my husband was so upset because he fell in love with that piece of her coverage. She probably was a little envious that, you know, I feel like adults would be envious of that. And you know, my daughter, she walks to the beat of her own drummer and. As we raise, especially girl, well, boys and girls in this world, there's all of these thoughts about who they should be and the [00:16:00] comparison on social media.
[00:16:02] Allison: And I, you know, I give her full agency to make mistakes, to say rude things, to, I just, Oh, what does that mean? Why did you say that? Oh, what does that mean? Why does she irritate you? Hmm. That I'm curious, right? And I come from it, it is a very neutral way looking at her and I'm not perfect. But I always want to look at her as just a human being trying to figure out her own world and how she's observing.
[00:16:33] Allison: She's learning her emotions. She's learning how to navigate other humans and she's going to say things because she's tired, because she's frustrated, right? And I'm not going to berate her for it. I'm just going to ask her why she thinks she said it, try to get her to explore and be in touch with her own feelings.
[00:16:49] Allison: But when as moms, when we are insecure, which is why I believe so deeply in every mom should do the work to heal. Because when you come from a place of confidence [00:17:00] and courage, when you have self confidence, your kid is not reflecting you. When you are insecure, everything is a reflection of you. And when I'm triggered and something is a reflection of me, even my husband, the shit he comes out of his mouth, I'm like, Oh God.
[00:17:14] Allison: Right? And I'm like, he's not a reflection of me. And if people think he is, they're wrong. 
[00:17:21] Lauren: Right. But there was a time where I know that I've felt that. You know where I was my husband say something stupid. I'm just like, what are people going to think? 
[00:17:32] Allison: Yeah. Right. He is. And I envy my husband's courage and his confidence and his ability to not give a fuck.
[00:17:40] Allison: Yeah. Right. I'm like, he can say whatever he wants. He is not a reflection of me. His choices will be his results. Not mine. Right. They're not mine, you know, but that's my self confidence and insecurity. It leaks into our children and it's not fair to them. It's fucking not [00:18:00] fair, right? The insecurity of my mother worrying about what other people thought about her body growing up ended on me and look what it did to me.
[00:18:11] Allison: Most of my life. Fuck that shit, man. That is not fair. You owe it to your kids to fix your shit. I mean, that's just like how I 
[00:18:24] Megan: feel. I would agree with that. And I think that's that may be a controversial like opinion, but 
[00:18:31] Allison: Well, if you're in my space, we can agree to disagree. Bottom line. 
[00:18:34] Megan: Yeah, fine. That's lovely.
[00:18:37] Megan: Personally, I think if you make the choice and sometimes kids are a surprise. My first pregnancy was very much a surprise. Okay. Yeah. You know, I was not prepared to be a mom yet. But the minute it happened and I decided that I was going to move forward with a pregnancy that the desire within me to be the best version of myself for the sake of that little human kicked in.
[00:18:58] Megan: Right? If we, if you are [00:19:00] committing to being a parent, that means you are committing to fessing up to your mistakes. You are committed to trying to do better for yourself and your family. You are committed to allowing the space for that person to grow up and learn how to be a little human. You know, like, if not, then why be a parent?
[00:19:18] Allison: Like, this is actually a 
[00:19:19] Megan: conversation I've had with my partner. Like, why did you, because we get caught up, you know, he gets caught up in the image. My kids are wild sometimes. They're also very, very kind hearted. That to me trumps climbing somebody's walls any day. Okay. Yeah. And we learn to respect that.
[00:19:37] Megan: My kids are five and seven, so we're learning to respect boundaries. We're learning how to express our emotions in a way that's not hurting somebody else's heart. But the conversations that we end up having are like why did we do this? Like, we made a conscious decision to become parents. When you made that decision, did that forethought not happen that like, oh, this is going to require me to be a different [00:20:00] human in the world.
[00:20:02] Megan: And maybe I overthink all the things. So reality is when I asked that question straight up, he was like, no, it did not like, well, I 
[00:20:11] Allison: don't know if it did for me. I don't know if it did for me. Right. I agree. And I listen, I thought I was having a boy. Maybe we just have one. I thought I was having a boy. I was having dreams.
[00:20:21] Allison: I was not having a boy. I'm like, I always related to boys more. I'm like, I'm going to be a boy mom. Like I'm having a boy. And I just knew that I was the right fit to have a boy. I agree. And when we went to the ultrasound and I found out I was having a girl trauma devastation like it was like what is happening.
[00:20:42] Allison: This is not my life type situation. And. I am so, I didn't know what I needed. And I'm so grateful because I don't know if I would have done the work I did if I was having a boy. 
[00:20:57] Lauren: I agree. It is very different. Yeah. I have a boy [00:21:00] first and you know, he was very much planned and again you, what's the word I'm looking for?
[00:21:09] Lauren: Or the phrase I'm looking for, like you do what, you know, that kind of thing, you know, you know better, you do better. Yes. Yes. But I don't, I didn't feel the pressure to heal my shit until I had that girl. And that's what I do know, that obviously it affects him too. And yeah. How he will see women and how absolutely.
[00:21:28] Lauren: For sure. Mm-Hmm, . But that pressure to heal myself when I had her and we didn't find out the gender until she was born. That was like a whole new thing. And I look at her as. My son has taught me a lot, and I've grown up a lot with him because I had him at, I was 27, so not super young, but gone through a lot of shit with him, a lot of trauma with him.
[00:21:48] Lauren: You know, my mom passing away and all that. But my daughter, I look at her as like, she's here to heal me and so many other people, you know? And 
[00:21:58] Allison: when I had [00:22:00] my business, well before I had, I became a mom and I was so scared that my daughter was gonna wreck my business and. To be flat out honest, it's awful, but there's, that was a fear of mine.
[00:22:12] Allison: That was a real thought. I mean, it was my first baby. Right. And it's to build something from nothing. It gets inside of you, right? It's a part of you. So 
[00:22:24] Lauren: it is a baby kind of. 
[00:22:26] Allison: Yeah. The irony was after Julia was born, my success catapulted as a photographer. The next level of success that I had in my business I owed to her, to who I became, to what tapped in, what I tapped into, into myself, being a mother, the relationship with being a mother, how that changed my work as an artist, how it changed the way I talk to people.
[00:22:57] Allison: And it, it changed my [00:23:00] creativity. I made more money being a new mom in my business than I had ever had. Cause I hadn't really tapped into the level, the next level of me. In my art. And I owe everything to my daughter. Every win, every tenacious step, every piece of healing I owe to my kid.
[00:23:32] Allison: And I thank her. I thank her for being my daughter. 
[00:23:41] Megan: Do you say that directly to her? 
[00:23:42] Allison: Yes. I absolutely, I'm like, I am, I'm unbelievably so grateful to be your mom, to spend days with you and to and for what you teach me, I really do. And I, cause I don't give a shit. I'm, I say it all. [00:24:00] There are things that I have said to my kid that my therapist is like, well, I don't know.
[00:24:05] Allison: Right. I'm like, well, here I am. Right. It's done. Here I am. Right. Cause I always talk to her in I've had to navigate. Right. Cause she's like, Oh, mommy, I'm on my soapbox. Right. Cause I'm so passionate. And I think there is some, there's some, I'm still not fully confident about how, what kind of mom I am. So sometimes when you don't come from, when you come from fear, I talk a lot and she would just shut me down right at nine poor kid, you know?
[00:24:35] Allison: And there were times where my therapist was like, yeah, I don't know if. She may not be understanding certain things and then maybe the same thing would occur and I'd have the same conversation with her again, my daughter, and then I would say, do you understand what I'm saying? And she's like, yeah, mommy, X, Y, and Z and my therapist wouldn't, didn't think she would understand.
[00:24:58] Megan: I think kids understand so much more [00:25:00] than adults give them credit for. 
[00:25:01] Allison: And I mean, she's had me intense in depth. In healing and mommy and she saw, she watched me on stage speaking to girls about their own brain. I mean, she was there, you know, it was her age group. And so she's conditioned in how I speak to her.
[00:25:27] Allison: We've talked about my lectures and my therapist said, when she changed the subject, shut them out. Because I'd go back, well, did you hear me? Did I say it correctly? Yeah. 
[00:25:42] Lauren: And that's something that just changing it because like, I don't know, they have another thought that's more important. They're not paying attention or maybe it's just, and this is 
[00:25:50] Allison: why this is why the therapist is so powerful.
[00:25:53] Allison: Right. My coach may not know that unless it's a coach who went through it, has a [00:26:00] twin that lived my path. Right. I haven't found that. Right. She said to me, logistically, when kids change a subject, let it go. And I need that reminder. Yeah. And I 
[00:26:14] Lauren: write that down. Yes. 
[00:26:17] Allison: And now we laugh like, cause Julie's like, mommy, oh, here's the lecture.
[00:26:21] Allison: She'll say to me and I'm like, honey, I'm about to say six words. I'm going to say six words. And we laugh and we laugh. But I've said to her, honey, I ramble on because I'm scared that you don't understand what I'm saying. I told her, does she understand that? I have no idea, but that's the truth. I am rambling on because I am scared that you don't, that I'm not coming across clearly enough or that you really don't hear the fact that you don't have to listen to all parts of your brain, you know, so I just trust that what I'm saying isn't too much, but God knows she is a science experiment, a thousand percent because they 
[00:26:59] Lauren: [00:27:00] all though, 
[00:27:01] Allison: I mean, I mean, and my husband is so intense.
[00:27:05] Allison: Okay. Thanks. In different ways than me. I'm very intense individual. I actually think I've lessened that intensity somewhat. And I think that's leaving the pressure off myself and not making things mean what they mean anymore. But I still am intense. Like I had someone, I had a marketing coach say, you need to fix your website.
[00:27:25] Allison: Like, what the hell? And in a day and a half, that shit's almost done. Like I am very intense, right? I won't sleep until it's done type of intensity. 
[00:27:36] Lauren: Intense or is it the depth? Because I just think there's a lot of depth to you, you know? And I think there's, what does that mean? What's depth mean? That you go deep.
[00:27:47] Lauren: There's levels and that you're interested in that. And you want to pull that out and you live your life that way. You know, you're not just here to Skim the surface and get by and all the things like when you are passionate about [00:28:00] something you are going to go all in. 
[00:28:02] Megan: We're not standing, you know, behind the scenes.
[00:28:05] Megan: You're in the fucking trenches, right? And 
[00:28:07] Allison: I am. And I say that even on the podcast, I said that in a video I did the other day that I'm in the trenches with all of you, right? And that's, and I want to say this for you both and anyone who is watching that when you doubt your capability for your next level.
[00:28:23] Allison: Look at your work ethic, look at your dedication, as evidence that you're going to fucking do it. Right? And that's how I look at when my brain tells me the nonsense that it wants to feed me to keep me stuck. My, it's innate in me to keep going. It's innate in me to figure it out. It's innate in me to do the work.
[00:28:48] Allison: So it's only a matter of time. It's only a matter of time. That's it. You figure it out. 
[00:28:54] Lauren: Yeah, you'll 
[00:28:55] Allison: figure it out, you know? And when, and then also when she came to me, she did a she did a coaching [00:29:00] call with me. I was, I'm in a group coaching program and I got coached on, on, in front of, I don't even know how many people, cause you don't see how many people are being coached.
[00:29:09] Allison: And two people reached out to me to connect with me for free coaching. And I was like, Oh my God, really? Like there's people in there, all kinds of people. And, but one of them is a marketing coach and they were clicking through my website. Who knows how many people were clicking through my website as I was talking, but that's not why I was on the call.
[00:29:28] Allison: I was on the call to get coaching. And I put no value in my website. I put no value in websites. And that's just who I am. And so my website is all photography. And then there's one dinky page on Pidgin. And it doesn't reflect my brand on any level. And I never even thought about it. Right. And I had two websites, Allison and studios, and I bought Allison Gallagher.
[00:29:53] Allison: com when it came available. I was like, yes. Right. So I have two and Allison Gallagher. com God went on top of Allison [00:30:00] and studios. And now if you type in either of them, you're going to hit my main website, which is welcome to the photography page. And here's a coaching. Right. So this marketing coach was like, tracked me down.
[00:30:11] Allison: She wanted some free code. We did a little bit of coaching, but she's like, you know, You need to fix this website and I, there was a vulnerability in that conversation because the website is like, it's a page that I threw up there because my first coach, she made her first 100, 000 with no website life coach.
[00:30:37] Allison: And so I did, and I know, and I don't, I give people grace with their website. I want to meet you, what your social media look like. What can you offer? I'm very much a decision maker buyer. If you tell me I hire you and X, Y, and Z is going to happen. And this is the result. I really don't think twice. I believe you, I don't need a whole lot of.[00:31:00] 
[00:31:00] Allison: Yeah, a lot of anything. Right. And that's, it shows up for me in selling coaching because I am a quick buyer. I didn't, I don't need a console. I don't need the net to, I just want to know, you can get me this result. Where do I sign? Right. But not everybody's that type of buyer. 
[00:31:18] Lauren: Right. 
[00:31:18] Allison: So I don't put a lot of stock in websites.
[00:31:23] Allison: And she's like, Alison, you're meeting people on networking events. You're handing them your business card. That's coaching. It has Alison Gallagher. com on it, and it takes you to a photography website. And the coaching page is confusing. And it's not there was all these things and I was like, holy shit, she's right.
[00:31:40] Allison: And now I'm designing this website. I'm falling in love with. My knowledge, all of the things that I can put on a coaching website, it's very simple compared to a photography website. And I'm realizing I'm going to show up differently in my energy, [00:32:00] being proud of my coaching website, something I never thought about at all.
[00:32:09] Allison: And I forget why I was talking about this, but it made me reflect on my energy. Oh, we were talking about intensity. Right. So I said to her, because my photography website is so intricate and so complicated, and I figured it out. I do all the behind the scenes. I have a template, but I do all of my web design.
[00:32:25] Allison: I literally didn't sleep for two weeks and I redid my whole website where people spend months hiring someone. They go back and forth. I didn't sleep for two weeks. I was a mom. I am very, so driven, right? That as soon as she told me about this, It'll the only thing I'm going to have to wait on is switching the launch of my some person who runs it Like that's the only it's ready.
[00:32:54] Allison: It's ready to launch. I spoke to her on Wednesday. 
[00:32:57] Lauren: You're giving me fire I [00:33:00] need to go and adjust mine October 
[00:33:03] Allison: and 
[00:33:04] Lauren: I have not really touched it. Well, 
[00:33:08] Allison: and you know what I said to her because I We have the same coach. And I said, well, do you want, you understand that Stacey for the first hundred K didn't have a website.
[00:33:14] Allison: She's like, yes, she didn't have one. You have one, you have one. People are looking at it and she built her business in 2015, 
[00:33:27] Lauren: right? It's a, it's different. Social media is different. I mean, I built my business about social media and now it's like, no, you have to be on social media. And I'm like, but I did it, but it's so different now, you know?
[00:33:40] Allison: I want every aspect of my branding. My photography branding was always on point. My coaching branding me is fine, right? But when you don't know me and you meet me in a networking event and we have one conversation and you land on my website, I'm not serving you if it's confusing. I'm not serving [00:34:00] you if you're there to learn about me as a coach and you're looking at all of my 20 years of experience as a photographer or whatever that look, right?
[00:34:08] Allison: It's not. And I thought I had so many thoughts, right, about this experience with her and she felt bad. She's like, can we go through? I want to go through with you. And I'm like, oh, give me all the things like information. Yes, information. But I knew I had to. First of all, I knew I had to check in because last night I went to belly.
[00:34:31] Allison: Because I was working on it when I got home from my Hampton happy hour. And I'm like, I'm not staying up till 4 AM to do this. Like, that's not happening. I had to talk myself and remove myself. I laid in the main Julia slept downstairs. We watched a little bit of Philly's game and, but I was fully, I had to like fully understand that I wanted to be present for my kid as we laid there together, because I was thinking about the next page I was going to design and where I was going to pull information and where I needed to grab the [00:35:00] image.
[00:35:00] Allison: And. Because I'm passionate and I'm excited about that website, but I'm also very goal driven and I dive in and I can't sleep until it's complete. Right. And that's what sounds like a 
[00:35:13] Lauren: generator. Huh? Meg. 
[00:35:15] Megan: Okay. Yeah. When we get off camera, we have a question for you. 
[00:35:20] Allison: Sure. Sure. But It really I there and what I love about strength finder and my first business coach did this.
[00:35:28] Allison: She had us do strength finder, but then she had us do, what is the negative aspects of those strengths and the negative aspects of my intensity, the negative aspects of my significance is I don't want to do anything mundane. Well, mundane is life. I only want to do big grandiose things, right? Because they're super fun to me.
[00:35:47] Allison: Some people don't ever want to do them, right? But I do it one time and then I'm, the fun is over, right? And the same with that intensity. I am not willing today to sacrifice my [00:36:00] balance and my health and my presence for my family in order to get a project done. 
[00:36:05] Megan: Just not. It's such a, it's such, it's still going to get done in like 
[00:36:08] Allison: three days, right?
[00:36:09] Allison: But I'm not gonna not sleep and then be a tyrant and a lunatic and exhausted and get out of my way. 
[00:36:19] Lauren: The only way to really learn that though, is like to experience that burnout 
[00:36:22] Lauren: And then to be like, you know what, I got to change. But I 
[00:36:25] Allison: also think it's a shift in priorities. It is, 
[00:36:29] Lauren: but you need, for me anyway, it had to come down to that like feeling of burnout Again, that's when I realized something has to change and my, what my priorities are and that whole, you know, being enough, feeling enough, having enough, you know, it all was kind of wrapped into that, you know what I mean?
[00:36:49] Lauren: And it's still there, you know what I mean? It's still working through it in different levels. Yeah, 
[00:36:53] Allison: I had to physically get my ass up. Off the chair, and then I went upstairs. [00:37:00] We were getting the bed ready down here and then on my way upstairs to get changed for my pajamas. I moved it on over, lifted it up, finished 1 little thing because I wanted to remind myself in the morning.
[00:37:11] Allison: And then I shut my laptop, went upstairs, but it was work to remove myself. Of course, it's your thoughts, right? Our thoughts create our results. And I just want to throw out there. We don't want to talk about it, but I just want to throw out there that burnout is not real. It just comes from our thoughts.
[00:37:28] Allison: Burnout comes from our thoughts. It's not a real thing. I mean, it's physically, you know, it's just, everything's neutral, right? So burnout, it's coming from our thoughts. So anyone that's watching this, who's suffering burnout, you have to take a look at your thoughts. What are your thoughts that are, that have moved you into burnout about whatever you're doing in your life, right?
[00:37:50] Allison: And that's why I got to burnout in photography. For a lot of different reasons. I don't even have to explore them. 
[00:37:58] Megan: I 
[00:37:59] Allison: think I [00:38:00] feel like a 
[00:38:00] Megan: whole second 
[00:38:01] Allison: episode about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm going to do one. I'm going to do a podcast about it, but for me, I did not explore the burnout because I liked my reasons for my burnout in photography.
[00:38:13] Allison: Okay. I knew I was shifting. I was a different person. I was shifting into a career, so I didn't have to explore the reasons. If I feel burnout and coaching. Hold the fucking bus. Because this is what I'm meant to do. And I love this, right? So if there's burnout happening, I need to explore that. 
[00:38:29] Lauren: Yeah, I think that it comes down to a lot of times just needing to change how you're doing things, you know, and it 
[00:38:37] Allison: comes from hustle.
[00:38:37] Allison: It comes from hustle out of scarcity. It comes from, and we had this conversation, the hustle mentality, hustle comes from there. There can be. I don't even like to use the word hustle anymore, but 
[00:38:50] Lauren: I don't either, but I used to be that 
[00:38:51] Allison: hustle. Me too. 
[00:38:55] Lauren: Right. 
[00:38:56] Allison: Like that was a freaking tagline is coming from not enoughness and [00:39:00] that is going to lead to burnout versus inspired action, action, inspired action and hustle to me.
[00:39:08] Allison: It's all neutral, but they're 2 very different things, right? And we can become, but we can be burnt out as parents. We can be burnt out in our partnership. We can be burnt out as a business owner. We can be burnt out as a caregiver. Like, we can, there's so much that can create burn out. But especially in today's economic situations and with cobit and all the things, but.
[00:39:29] Allison: It comes from our thoughts. Right. So it's all your thoughts that it does. It absolutely does. So I just wanted to, we're 
[00:39:37] Lauren: going to have a whole nother episode on that for sure. I think I just wanted to drop that. I'm glad you did. And we have, we have one last question for you, Alison. Because I know we could go for a week ago.
[00:39:51] Lauren: So 
[00:39:52] Allison: do you think people are going to watch this this long? Like, I'm curious. You're going to break it up. We're going to 
[00:39:57] Megan: break it on YouTube. They'll get the whole thing probably. [00:40:00] Okay. But as the podcast goes, we'll break it down. Just because people do do better, right? How many of us have two hours? To listen to a podcast, especially cause we do have a lot of moms.
[00:40:11] Megan: But we covered so many topics, so even if, 
[00:40:14] Lauren: you know, we might break this down in like three, honestly, completely transparent, which makes 
[00:40:18] Megan: it fun, make it a little serious. Three, three, three 
[00:40:20] Lauren: podcasts. We'll see. Three episodes. Yeah, that's awesome. That's the fun. There's no fucking 
[00:40:24] Megan: rules, right? We get to do what we want.
[00:40:25] Megan: Right. And then you experiment. 
[00:40:28] Allison: And then you experiment, right? And then there's results and then you analyze results. Totally. Exactly. Yeah. 
[00:40:33] Lauren: But so the last question is, you know, the title of our podcast is Shattering Ceilings. And we love to have people on that are, again, like just breaking barriers in their own lives It's all different ways, right?
[00:40:46] Lauren: It could be personal, business, whatever, right? It doesn't matter. So what we really want to know is how are you currently shattering the ceilings in your life? 
[00:40:55] Allison: By living [00:41:00] with, by having a ton of goals and feeling fulfilled right now, 
[00:41:08] Megan: having both at the same time, 
[00:41:10] Allison: by knowing that I have not even scratched the surface especially starting a new business.
[00:41:16] Allison: At 40 spot four, I was 44 being an entrepreneur since my mid 20s and I'm at the beginning in a different way, right? I'm a different person and I'm going to shave off years because I did a lot of things wrong. I, no one taught me how to be an entrepreneur. No one taught me. And I started, I hired my first coach.
[00:41:37] Allison: I was over 10 years in business, 12 years in business. So I'm going to get there faster. Right. But that doesn't matter. They don't define me. My glass. I've shattered my glass ceiling because I know what it feels like to feel fulfilled when I haven't met the Allison I want to be yet. [00:42:00] Right. I haven't reached those goals.
[00:42:01] Allison: I haven't even come close yet. And I still know what fulfillment feels like and true joy, true joy. That's enough 
[00:42:09] Megan: for me. One little follow up question to that. Do you love the Allison you are now, even though you're still looking forward to the Allison? Absolutely. 
[00:42:19] Allison: Of course, of course you have to love yourself.
[00:42:22] Allison: Yes. Yes. I and I did it. You've probably listened to it, but I mean, there's the, one of them is about being, feeling like you're enough, but the other one is about, I feel like it was the one about when is the perfect day the four year old in me deserves love that 18 year in your, that 18 year old in me that wanted to commit.
[00:42:46] Allison: So, and you don't have to have that level of trauma. Go back to who you were as a kid in the hard times and the love that they deserved. When you turn to your younger self and you love [00:43:00] them and you see their strong qualities of what they endured because you've endured every hard day. Here you are, right?
[00:43:07] Allison: They deserve honor. They deserve love. They deserve the awareness that they kept going to bring you here They deserve that love. And when you love them. It is instilled even deeper to honor who you are today. You're going to love yourself deeper today. Like I love that little four year old. I used to be ashamed of the pictures of who I was and now I used it as an, as a promo piece for my inner child meditation that I, I did an inner child seminar, how to re introduce yourself to that kid inside of you that you're fucking running from.
[00:43:47] Allison: Because you feel shame and embarrassment by them, right? They weren't good enough. They weren't this, whatever the thoughts are, right? I had so much shame for that. That little girl's embarrassed. I was embarrassed. I was, I peed the bed. I would wet the bed at camp [00:44:00] and I would look back on her and shame.
[00:44:02] Allison: Like, I have such deep love for her that she didn't check out then. That four year old creating new eating disorder to survive. I said it in my podcast. She did that. She did what she's a strong motherfucker. I love her so much and I honor her by showing up today and loving my life today, loving for where she brought me today and the rest is just gravy.
[00:44:31] Allison: It's gravy, right? I have to check in with that, but to tap into that true fulfillment today.
[00:44:42] Allison: It's first of all, everyone should experience true fulfillment and what that really feels like. And it's a choice because it's a magical feeling. And when you come from that place, you do very different things. You show very different in your life. 
[00:44:54] Megan: It's true. 
[00:44:55] Allison: Your energy is different. You're and you're attracting more, you know?
[00:44:59] Allison: So that [00:45:00] was a long answer. It was the 
[00:45:02] Lauren: perfect answer. Yeah. 
[00:45:04] Allison: But that, that, that's the only glass ceiling. I just want to, I want to feel good. I want to feel fulfilled. I want to feel, and it's a choice. At any time, I want to challenge myself that even in the hard days, how can you feel fulfilled in this moment and safe?
[00:45:18] Allison: How can you feel safe in this moment when your brain's telling you you're not safe? Because that's always the answer. Because if I don't feel safe here, I'm not gonna feel safe there. There's people that have millions of dollars in the bank and don't feel safe. There's people that have no money and feel totally safe.
[00:45:32] Allison: Right? People don't have a partner and feel fully loved and fulfilled. People have a partner and feel totally unfulfilled and unheard and all the things like it's coming from our thoughts. Right. You know, so that's it. But that's a great question, and I love my answer, . Yeah. 
[00:45:52] Lauren: I'm so glad. Listen, you have been absolutely amazing to listen to.
[00:45:56] Lauren: Thank you. And so many, I mean, I literally took like, [00:46:00] I think three pages of notes just from Oh my God. Yeah. And, I have learned so much from you and I am so grateful for you and I'm so excited for everything that you're creating and how you're helping so many people. And thank you for being the proof that you can, you can have both.
[00:46:18] Lauren: You can be working towards your greatest goals and still be fulfilled. Right. 
[00:46:24] Allison: And you set yourself up for that, right? I didn't, no one taught me that. I had to dig deep and this is what it looks 
[00:46:32] Lauren: like to do the work though. It's look at these results. Yes. Yes. And then have my own 
[00:46:37] Allison: back 
[00:46:38] Lauren: on 
[00:46:38] Allison: the days that I don't feel content and joy.
[00:46:41] Allison: Right. Yeah. Right. That's a part of it too. Nothing has gone wrong because I'm feeling scared and unfulfilled. 
[00:46:47] Lauren: Right. That takes things, mean things they don't have to mean, right? That takes time 
[00:46:52] Allison: too. Like that takes time too. I don't throw, I don't throw myself into a tantrum and berate myself and ride those thoughts.
[00:46:59] Allison: I'm like, Oh yeah, [00:47:00] that's right. I feel unfulfilled today and I feel scared and I feel unworthy today. That's a part of it. But I don't, you know, I don't make it, it's just nothing has gone wrong, right? That's a part of it. Having your own back for when you don't feel fulfilled, because if you latch onto not feeling fulfilled, it's going right.
[00:47:17] Allison: You're going to take you for a ride. Oh yeah, absolutely. Oh, I do. There's nothing to feel fulfilled about, you know, if my brain offers me that I'm just like, Oh, that's right. You're, you're there. It's. Nothing has gone wrong. I know I can choose fulfillment at any time. And because I, I live a fulfilled life, 
[00:47:33] Lauren: right.
[00:47:34] Allison: You know, so, 
[00:47:36] Lauren: thank you so much. Where can we find you? Tell us about your amazing website. That's about 
[00:47:43] Allison: so it's, it's Alison Gallagher. com. L's and an I, and I'm on Instagram that you're coach Allison Gallagher. I am on Facebook. Allison Gallagher is my coaching Facebook page. I'm Allison Pratula Gallagher.
[00:47:59] Allison: You can [00:48:00] feel free to friend me. But a lot of free content out there that I offer. Right. I do have a YouTube channel. That's like kind of the They're kind of not, but most of my videos are possibly on Instagram. I am on TikTok too, but I have no idea how to, you just, Alison Gallagher, I don't know how many are out there, but my website is going to have all those links.
[00:48:20] Megan: That's the place 
[00:48:20] Allison: to go. My podcast, I forgot, my podcast is You Get to Decide and that's streaming everywhere. I was told to say that's streaming everywhere. Yeah. All the 
[00:48:29] Megan: places, people. All the places. So, 
[00:48:32] Allison: And that's it. All right. so much for your dedication and what you do and the voice you have. 
[00:48:42] Megan: Well, thank you.
[00:48:42] Megan: Thank you. 
[00:48:43] Allison: Of course. Thank you. It's hard work what you do. So thank you. It's fun work. Good. Yes. We love it. And then even in the monotony, you show up and that's.
[00:48:56] Allison: So thank you for your dedication and your consistency [00:49:00] and your journey of healing. 
[00:49:02] Lauren: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yes. Absolutely. 
[00:49:08] Allison: Good. Good. So until next time. Until next time. All right. This won't 
[00:49:14] Lauren: be the last we hear from Alison. All right. Very good. 
[00:49:18] Allison: Bye. Bye. 
[00:49:19] Lauren: Bye.