For2dadsake Podcast

What To Expect When Your Expecting

Daniel Aguilar
Daniel:

Hello, and welcome to the very first episode of for podcasts. I am Daniel Aguilar and I'm here with my brother, Jonathan, John, how are you feeling today?

Jon:

Like it's a pretty big day. It's a pretty big step for us. Uh, starting this podcast is something that we, you know, want to do. So I'm pretty excited feeling. yeah. How about

Daniel:

yourself? How you feeling? It was good. Uh, Tuesdays are my long days because we have a meeting after work. And so I got to come home a little bit later than I usually like, but I was able to get home in time, spent time with the kids before, you know, they went to bed and was able to set things up so good. How's the family.

Jon:

Uh, doing well, doing well, uh, growing, getting bigger, a lot of energy. Um, I'm sure a lot of parents know this, but when it's time for bedtime, they don't, for some reason they don't want to go when it's time for bedtime, I'm ready to go, but they, they don't want to go to bed, but, uh, overall pretty good. Okay. Good. How about over there in

your

Daniel:

household? Good. Good. Um, everyone's excited for. This weekend's camping trip. Uh, we're looking forward to it. Um, how about your, your household? Everyone excited.

Jon:

Yeah. Excited. Getting everything ready, getting all the food done and getting organized. We still need to pack. That's one thing that we're always procrastinate. So we pack almost last minute every time, but exactly. Yeah. Looking forward to it. So

Daniel:

just to fill any real quick, uh, My family John's family and our sister, her family will be going, uh, for a day or two,, camping. And it's always nice to get all the cousins together. And it's always nice to see my brother and my sister spending time with them. So we're looking forward to it week. my camping trip last year was a little bit short, but I had a great time and something, Danny, my oldest daughter, she still talks about and. She had a great time that, that weekend. So, yeah, we're looking forward to getting together and creating some new memories. Uh, we're a big guy, Jonathan, it's a big outdoors guy and I married an outdoors girl. Yeah, so it should be fine. It should be really. Okay. Exciting. So, John, do you wanna start by, uh, introducing ourselves?

Jon:

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great idea. I'll let you go first. Oh, thank you.

Daniel:

You're so kind of you, very gentleman of you

Jon:

age before beauty

Daniel:

So again, my name is Daniel Aguilar. I've been married for 11 years to a wonderful woman. Uh, we have two beautiful kids, six year daughter and a three year old. Who I love and adore very much. yes, we are a big Disney family. We love, we love everything about Disney and always have, and always will. I currently work as a, uh, occupational therapist assistant, for the last six years I've been working with the geriatric population at ESCO nursing facility. But for the last year, I've been slowly transitioning from geriatrics to pediatrics. And now I work full time at a outpatient peds clinic, basically working with kids with, early interventions. So kids with delayed milestones. And so there's nothing more than seeing a kid smile and having fun. And yeah, I love what I do brings me great joy. how about you, John?

Jon:

So my name's Jonathan, um, I have an awesome wife, three great kids, uh, five year old, soon to be three year old and a five month old. So never dull moment at, at this house. Uh, always have three boys running around with a lot of energy, so I'm always exhausted, but. Always having fun. And, um, as far as, you know, just what I do for a living, I'm a sales manager, uh, for an Allstate office insurance. Um, I've had a lot of jobs, you know, prior to that, that's got me a lot of knowledge in different areas. So anywhere from, uh, inventory control manager at bed bath beyond to, you know, um, a cot delivery tank driver, And, uh, oh, here's a fun fact. So, uh, I've worked at Disneyland and so has Daniel never, we didn't work at the same time, but, uh, we both, yeah, I've worked there in our past,

Daniel:

which was, uh, I, I, I was food operations, by the way. That's I worked retractions. Yeah. There you go. So I worked in tomorrow land I worked all over. Um, I started working at Disneyland right before California venture opened up. So that was a long time ago. Apparently time

Jon:

you don't think about it, but yeah. Yeah. Um, And so, yeah. So, uh, I've also worked for Knoxberry farm in silk city.

Daniel:

Okay. Now you're just bragging. Yeah.

Jon:

Yeah. That's not about right. Yeah. But, um, no, I've had a lot of different jobs, met a lot of different people. Um, had some great times, but, uh, yeah, besides that, I mean, things I love to do is, you know, watch sports, football, hockey, mostly, and, uh, love playing. Well playing all sports, but hockey mostly. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Daniel's actually into playing sports also. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Daniel:

I don't play as much as I used to because now that I have a family work and a podcast, but on the weekends, I do enjoy playing tennis, uh, something I've been doing for the last like 20 years. Can't get enough out of it. I just, I'm in love with the sport. Love watching the plane and my daughter, oldest daughter, she's now. Trying to get into it. And so I'm getting ready to take her out there and start working with her. And I'm not gonna pressure her to be a tennis player, but if it's something she enjoys, I will support her just like anything, you know, she will, any of her hobbies, you know, try to try to be a good dad and. Give her my support. So as you probably figured out in this last five minutes that we have no idea what we're doing, uh we're, we're starting from scratch. We're learning as we go on how to start produce. And put a podcast together. So bear with us. we know we're gonna get better. We can only go up. That's the way I look at it. can't get much worse. Right. So, so John, why don't you start by describing how the podcast came about? Uh,

Jon:

sure. So a few months back. I was just kind of feeling, uh, just kind of stuck in a rut with, you know, work and everything. So I thought of an idea of like, Hey, you know what, I want to get something going, a project going, whether it's, you know, making money or just hanging, being able to spend more time with, um, with pretty much my brother and, uh, and just family in general. Cuz I, I also reached out to our brother-in-law, which he is helping us with this. but, uh, just reach out to him and said, Hey, do you guys want to get like, you know, uh, uh, something going together, I threw a podcast out there just cuz I figured that's something that we can just hang out, talk and share stories and stuff like that. So, um, Daniel was actually the one that came up with the idea of let's do a podcast. And since you know, we're all dads. Base it around that that's something that's not really too much, too many podcasts out there doing that. And then also, uh, there's that stigma that guys. Don't typically ask other guys for dad advice or, you know, that, um, just, that's not a big topic when it comes to guys, so absolutely. Here's a great outlet. Yeah. So here's a great outlet where you can hear stories. I get experiences get learn from our experiences pretty much. And, um, as a podcast progresses, we're definitely gonna, you know, see what UFAS want to hear or talk about. So definitely, you know, people. Try in as, Hey, what about, you know, bedtime? How do you get the kids to bed, you know, regularly, or what's something that works for you? So it's gonna be, it's gonna be a lot of fun and it's not gonna be just about being dads, cuz I mean a lot, a lot of stuff is gonna be just parents in general. I was gonna say,

Daniel:

I think this is marketed to like. Both moms and dads, basically parents, obviously. Yeah,

Jon:

just being parents in general. And, um, also it's not only gonna be talking about the aspects of having kids, but you know, we're gonna have different segments on here. Like, um, I know I, I'm gonna talk about breweries. I, you know, enjoy beers. Um, and I know Daniel, he has different things that he wanted to mentor into. Like, uh, what was it taken on? Uh, looking at ice cream cards. Yeah.

Daniel:

So basically. What I'm planning on doing is going around locally for now and writing who has the best ice cream,, we live in Southern California. And so I already have my list and we're gonna be ranking the best ice cream spots in California. So where you can take care of your kids. please follow us on Instagram at 4, 2, 6 podcasts. we're gonna be posting all kinds of stuff. I'm gonna be coming from it from a occupational therapy perspective. And I know John has some, some ideas and he'll be posting some fun stuff. I have a feeling you will enjoy our Instagram page. Okay.

Jon:

Yeah. We'll keep it, uh, you know, entertaining and also informational. So it's best of both worlds.

Daniel:

Exactly. So for tonight we decided just to keep it short, keep it sweet. We're just gonna think of this as a introduction episode, getting to know. Myself, Jonathan. And so the nice topic is what to expect when you're expecting, talking about how John and I, and mainly most dad react to the news that they're gonna be fathers. So, John, my first question is, was your first kid, was it planned or was it a surprise?

Jon:

Um, kind of both So, um, originally we were, you know, kind of, we were thinking about planning to try to conceive at a specific time, so it could line up with, uh, cuz at the time my wife, she was going to school, uh, to get her doctorate. And so we didn't have a lot of time to, you know, To be pregnant in, in a sense. And we were also living in Illinois at the time. So that was away from, you know, family and friends. Um, since we were both, you know, born and raised here in Southern California. Um, so we kind of were trying at one point, then we just kind of stopped and said, okay, you know, we kind of missed our window and then. It just, it happened after that. So, uh, so it happened when we weren't, you know, necessarily planning it, but, uh, yeah, definitely glad it happened.

Daniel:

I still remember,, it was a Sunday night and you were texting me. You're like, we're gonna FaceTime tonight. We're gonna Skype. We're gonna. and I remember telling Sherry, well, something's up because he keeps checking in or we get a Skype at this time. He never does that. And I think she was the one. If I remember correctly, she was like, Oh, my God. They're, they're pregnant. They're gonna tell us they're I'm like, you don't know that. And I go, it can be anything. Maybe they're moving back to California. I go, we don't know. And sure enough, she was right. You guys told us that you were expecting, and we were both so happy for you guys that. Man.

Jon:

I think women just has have a nose for it. Like whether it's a sixth sense they have or whether that's just something that they, their mind goes towards. But yeah, I feel like that that's definitely something that exactly

Daniel:

they pick up on. Exactly. Absolutely.

Jon:

Like, uh, I remember, uh, one time with one of our friends, um, we went to like a, it was like a bar barbecue in the backyard and somebody wasn't drinking and we on no drive. I remember my wife thinking like, do you think she's pregnant? I was like, why would you think that's like that? How's that your go-to but yeah, that's just, yeah. It's, it's pretty funny. Yeah.

Daniel:

Ours was kind of the same. It was planned, but also a surprise. We decided back in, 2015, we were gonna start trying to have a baby and. just so happened. I found out at the beginning of the year, I was gonna be starting the occupational therapy program. And so we decided maybe it's best. We put it off hold of having a can maybe for like a year or two and February 6th of my second day of school. We're in lecture and I get a call. I get a text message. Can you call me on your lunch break? And I didn't think anything of it, to be honest. And we break for lunch and right away, get my cell phone out and call my wife. And she told me that she took a pregnancy test. It was positive. And you know, a lot of emotions go through your head as a dad hearing it. And from talking with a lot of dads, because again, my background in pediatrics mostly consists of working with parents and going into the homes. In communicating with mostly the mom, but there's a lot of dads out there involved, which I'm very happy to see. And we tend to process things a little bit differently. I don't know about you, John, but usually when something happens, it takes me a little bit to process all the logistics, all the details before I, I finally figure out what's going on. And, and so I went, so I wanted to touch. On this topic is how are you feeling when you, when you found out you were gonna be a dad for the first time?

Jon:

Uh, definitely, uh, kind of gives you a little check in the, in the stomach. mm-hmm um, you, you feel a lot of, or at least I felt a lot of emotions. Happy, excited, sad, nervous. Anxious. Uh, I mean, to me fair, I felt from an early age, like I, I just, I was ready to, to go into parenthood. Um, so I, I was excited more so than anything. Um, and honestly, I just remember thinking like, okay, this is where. My life's gonna change. It's not, you know, going out as often as it's gonna be, you know, late nights with the baby instead of late nights with friends drinking or anything like that. Exactly. So, um, so yeah, so it was, it was, uh, positive on my end, which I was fortunate enough to have. Um, yeah. What about, what about you? What are some of the thoughts running through your head? There was a

Daniel:

lot of emotions going through my head. The first one was shock disbelief. But then after anxiety kicked in scared, you know, are we, how are we gonna have a baby with us? Going back to school? My wife was, uh, in her master's program for marriage, family therapy. And, and so we weren't working full time. And so. that also processed in my head was like, how are we gonna have this baby? When none of us is working full time. And, I was wanted to bring this up, cuz I was reading some articles in preparation for tonight's episode. And it was from the psychology today.com and they did a study of, I think it was like a hundred dads and like 70% of it didn't hit them, that they were gonna be a father until they saw their first sonogram picture. maybe they heard, heard the baby's heartbeat. They felt the baby kick. And for me, it was hearing my daughter's heartbeat for the first time. And there's no. Words can describe what that's that's like, it was just a surreal moment. Something I'll never forget. And I think right then and there dad mode in my head kicked in and. At that point, it was okay. Baby's coming. Whether I like it or not. right. And so here we go, you know, seeing my wife go through, her pregnancy and we'll get to that next, episode, but the thought of the, the journey she was about to, to take, you know, uh, physically, mentally, emotionally. And so being there for her. and then once dad Mo kicked in, it was just nothing but excitement, happiness. You start thinking about what you're gonna do with the baby, you know, with your kid, all the firsts in their life you wanna be there for. And so, yeah, that's where it hit me. The most was when. Carrying my baby's heartbeat for the first time. Nothing makes sense. Not nothing like it.

Jon:

And one thing I do want to touch up on, on what you kind of talked about there for, um, any listeners that you know, are, um, any female listeners that are the moms. When guys don't show excitement, when you tell them it's not necessarily because they're not excited. Um, guys in general normally are visual people. So, like Daniel said, when they see the picture of the sonogram they're, that's when it might hit them or when, if they hear the heartbeat. Um, to be honest with you, I was in the same boat with Daniel, as far as when it was a heartbeat that did it for me because the sonogram, I wasn't even confident what I was looking at. I just saw a circle shaping me and I was like, okay, I think that's my kid, but. as far as you know, when I heard the heartbeat, that's when there was a big lump in my throat and I was just kind of taken back by that. That's my child. That's right. That's my little one. And, uh, and so, yeah, so that's when I, it really kind of sunk in with me. That's like, okay, that I'm a dad in a sense. Um, so I know with women, it's a lot, they feel a lot earlier because they're going through with their bodies for us dads. Unfortunately, we don't feel that in our bodies, but you know, we, uh, when we get those. the, the sonogram or the hearing of the baby's heartbeat or something visual that we can connect to. That's when we kind of that's when it hits us, that's when that's, that's when it get grabs us. But, um, but yeah, I'll never forget when I heard the baby's heartbeat, um, on each one of my pregnancies or our, our pregnancies, I guess you could say for my, uh, wife and I, it just, every time I heard that heartbeat, it was just like a new breath of fresh air in a.

Daniel:

exactly. there's uh, I won't get too technical here women's brains process things a little bit quicker, especially certain situations. So. Again with me personally, I'm not saying this is for every guy, but I have to take a step back and examine the situation before I give my opinion before I know how to react or how I want to react. And it could be a little challenging sometimes because, and I think Sherry figured out a while back was like, okay, something happens. I gotta give him him space to let him process, not that he doesn't care. It's not that he's zoning out. It's just, he needs that little bit of time to figure out how he feels and, and that's okay. That that's a that's. Absolutely. Okay. As long as you communicate with your partner, how you're feeling, I think that's what it comes down. Uh, so John, real quick, if you can give one, if you get any advice to a newborn dad, uh, a new dad who's a, or a dad's expecting to their first kid on the way, what would advice would that be

Jon:

new one piece of advice? Um, uh, I would say. that's a great question. If it has to be just one piece, but, um, I would probably go with something along the lines of, you're not gonna know what to do and just come to terms with that. So just, don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it's family or friends. Um, it's okay. Cuz raising a kid, a person it's not easy. So, you know, don't be afraid to ask for. exactly. I think that would be, yeah, that would be,

Daniel:

and that kind of ties into like that kind of ties into what I was gonna say is if you're gonna be, if you're expecting your first kid or your newborn dad, the best advice I can give you is just show up. That's all you have to do is just show up and be there for your life and your kid and everything will work itself out. Trust me, that kid. It's gonna look at you. Like you're a freaking superhero. And just because you show up, they're gonna think the world of you. When I look back at my dad or I say our dad, John um, when I look back at our dad, That's how I, that's how I saw him when I was young. And until he, until, until this day, actually, that's my memory of him is, you know, superhero that's and so just show up, be there and everything else will work itself out. I know it can be scary. Uh, not, you know, maybe your finance. Where exactly where you want them. Uh, we, everything will work itself out. Trust me. So, anything else you wanna add regarding this

Jon:

topic? No. I mean, not really. I would say that nailed it. It's just, there's no right way to do it. So if you're looking like, is this, you know, am I doing it right? Um, like, you know, Dan said, if, if you're there, you're trying and you're just, you know, have patience. exactly where it's with yourself, with your family, your partner, the little one, anyone just had patience and yeah. It'll

be

Daniel:

great. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So. I think that concludes the topic per portion of to tonight's episode. If you have your own thoughts or if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to us on Twitter or Instagram at four, two dad, six podcasts. And so. From there. We'll move on to our last segment of the, and so John and I are big fantasy football players. We love fantasy football and the best part about fantasy football is draft date. When you get together with your buddies, And you draft your team and we love doing drafts. And so this segment is called dad draft. And so each episode we're gonna have dad draft and we're gonna have random topics and we're gonna do the little draft. So tonight's dad draft is movies. that involves expecting dads or dad's expecting to be, be dads. So this can be anything from a character having to raise like, an adopt a kid. It can be a dad who's expecting their first kid and so on. So on. So. John, I will give you the first pick.

Jon:

All right. So the first pick, um, let's see, I'm gonna go with, okay. So here here's an oldie. Um, it's one where it's actually not only just one guy having to be ready to become a dad. Uh, when. So three men and a baby. Uh, I'm not sure if you guys are familiar with that movie, but, uh, three guys, bachelors living together, all of a sudden have a baby that they need to take care of. And, uh, each one of them, you know, steps up and, uh, Becomes, you know, becomes dad within themselves. And yeah, that was a good one. Yeah.

Daniel:

Very good. And the number one on my list bastard. Oh, there you

Jon:

go. That's why it's the number one.

Daniel:

okay. So this one, you know, John and I are big comedy, fans. We love comedy office. Favorite TV show of all time for me. And so actually this movie has nothing to do with the office. So I'm just saying I love comedy. So this movie's a comedy and it's about a guy who's a little bit down as luck. And it seems like every, all his friends is getting promotions and raising families and he's stuck. And one day, a little boy shows up on his doorstep and he has a note, gives him the note and the, this character opens a note and says, and it says, I'm your son. Can you please raise me? And he takes him under his wing and. The movie is big daddy with Adam salad. Ah, that's my number one off the board.

Jon:

That's a solid number one right there. Honestly, I laugh so hard at them. I still laugh at that movie when I watch it. Oh,

Daniel:

that's great. That's great. Especially too, it's. Adam sand when he uses the same character, the same actors throughout his movies. It's just, it's. It's great. It's great. I feel

Jon:

so bad about laughing at it, but one of the things that always gets me laughing is, uh, when there's the roller blades and they throw stick down, the Royal rages

Daniel:

eat. There's a stick there. Someone should move it. uh,

Jon:

it gets me every time.

Daniel:

okay. So I go next. Let's see. There's a couple good ones here, but yeah, I'm gonna definitely go with, this was number two, actually, number three on my list. And I think this is a good movie for. for moms and dads out there that are expecting their first kid. And it there's one of those movies where all the characters are tied together. They're all going through their first pregnancy. Some are having easier time than others. Somes are having more, little more difficult time. And it's a really good buddy movie. And I think you can learn a thing or two from it. And, it's what to expect when you're expecting that's, number two off, on, on my list.

Jon:

I can't re that I have not seen it yet, but it's a good movie. It's a good movie.

Daniel:

It's definitely, a romcom movie. And I remember seeing that, I think it came out when we were pregnant with our first kid and it was kind of like a little date night and. Yeah, it's a fun movie to watch for hour and a half, you know?

Jon:

All right. All right. Well, my number two, I wanted to kind of go with something a bit more, you know, like you mentioned, we love comedy. So, um, the I chose is with, uh, Seth Rogan. He's ah, good. Having fun. And he has a fun night and that fun night kind of stuck with him for a while where he's gonna have to step up and be a dad. I think you guys know what I'm talking about, but knocked up. That's a good one. Knocked up. That was a good one. A lot of emotions in that movie.

Daniel:

yeah, that was definitely, a very funny movie. Yeah. All sort

Jon:

cats. Yeah. That was lot of, lot of star power in that one. Uh, okay. So my last pick, this one is a movie that I really like, but, uh, I'm pretty sure not too many people have seen it, but, um, it has huge Jackman and he's kind of a loner where he's you. Drinks a lot. And he's betting, he's losing bets. He owes a lot of people money and, uh, he has a son out there and when his son's a little older goes out to find him and he wants to, you know, be with him. If I'm not mistaken, I think the mom passed away. But, uh, he Jack Matt first doesn't, you know, doesn't wanna be the dad role. And then after spending time with him, He wants to, and, uh, it's called real steel. Now. What's really cool about this movie, besides all that description I just gave you there's robots boxing, which is pretty awesome. So Hugh Jackman, he's a old boxer and, uh, you know, one of the. Big fights. The robots, you know, has to go into what's called shadow mode and it's pretty much replicating what Hugh Jackson's doing. And he steps up to the plate, both in the ring and being a dad. So it's a good watch. I suggest to watch it and, uh, check it out. Yeah. I have not

Daniel:

being that one have not seen it because I've never heard of it. But I will check it out. Hmm. So

Jon:

I call it a diamond in

Daniel:

the rough So my next one, it's between two movies here and 20 big one, the tiebreaker is because is because one. Again, I'm an office fan and two, again, my wife and I saw this on a, on a date nine and loved it. And so, and it's one of our favorite movies and we still watch this. Today, I think it's a way we go, uh, John KKI from the office and Meyer Rudolph, and basically they're getting ready to, they're expecting their first kid and they're trying to figure out where do they wanna raise a family. And so it's, and again, it's a lot of people in that movie too, so it's, I highly recommend it. It's one of like those, Independent movies. So again, good movie. I think you'll, you'll learn a thing or two. Okay. The other one, again, I did not pick this one, but, it was on my draft board, father, the bright two. Steve Martin. A big family there. So why technicality?

Jon:

Why? Well, he was already a dad,

Daniel:

but his daughter and son-in-law weren't

Jon:

they weren't following

Daniel:

the son-in-law. Come on. Yeah. And plus too, if you think about it, his role as a dad had a, had to shift from being. Going into almost retire to now having to raise, a new kid. And so basically starting from scratch, they had to buy all their material. Right? All the baby crib, bassinet, everything they had to start from. Scratch. Let me

Jon:

ask you one question facts. That's just a facts. Let me ask, let me ask you one question. Did he have experience of being. You had experience of being a

Daniel:

dad? Boom. There it is. But some could say you had experience of being a dad because you had pets before you had your, your kid.

Jon:

I, I'm not gonna acknowledge that comment. Boom.

Daniel:

That's not even. Yeah. Cuz you don't have a response.

Jon:

Because there, there shouldn't be. There's not one needed for that. That's that's I don't

Daniel:

think you had a living thing. You had to take responsibility for feed it. Right? Look after it, take it to doctor's appointments. Mm. It's okay. John, take the hit, take the hit. Well,

Jon:

agree, agree. Disagree to be. I know you're lashing out. I know you're lashing out because you lost the draft,

Daniel:

but I think I won the draft so yeah. So again, if you have a exciting category, you think would make a good dad draft, again, please let us

Jon:

know. Yeah. It's the right idea at

Daniel:

exactly. So. I think that's it. Go ahead and follow us on again on Instagram at four, two dash six and then, uh, also on Twitter four, two dash six, and then you could follow my Instagram, my personal account D Aguilar 24 on Instagram. John, do you wanna plug your, your personal? I.

Jon:

Sure. If you guys wanna follow, uh, you know, just check out what I'm doing from time to time. Uh, it's J puck 18. So J P U C K one eight. All right. But, uh, I think we survived our first, first, I think

Daniel:

episode I did too. I think we did too. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you to accomplish. just, FYI. We will be. Dropping our a new episode, I believe every Wednesday. So please, feel free to go ahead and subscribe to our podcast. And so you never missed an episode. All right. I think that's it. John, do you wanna say goodbye? Uh, thanks

Jon:

for listening to everyone. I hope you enjoyed it. Um, and can't wait till the next episode. So until next time.

Daniel:

All right. And from John and I don't go change it.