Daniel: 0:15

Hello, and welcome to another episode four two dash six podcast. I am Daniel, and here as always, John. John, how's your Friday night going?

Jon: 0:26

Hello. Hello. It's going pretty good. Can't complain. Kids are settled down. Work was a little busy today, but help by help make it go by fast and yeah, can't complain. How about your Friday?

Daniel: 0:44

Busy. That was to be the one word I would describe. Busy. It's always A lot of little things add up to like more work. So just closing out the week and now I'm home and relaxing. Don't have a lot on the books this this weekend, but I wanted to ask you, how was your 4th of July?

Jon: 1:08

Pretty good. Work? Did you guys get a lot of fireworks? No we No, but

Daniel: 1:12

Was there a lot of fireworks around your house? Oh,

Jon: 1:16

okay. Yeah, there was a good amount. Since we get the boys to bed relatively early, we started our fireworks like just as the sun was going down, so nobody was really out there. But as we were finishing up everybody else, it was obviously dark at that time, and then everybody else was getting outside and setting off their fireworks. But One thing I will have to say about my neighborhood, which was awesome, is around 10 30, 11 ish. They were like, it stopped, it wasn't like going all night or anything like that where it was pop or anything like that. It

Daniel: 1:47

wasn't like our block, like our neighborhood stopped, I would say like around that time. But you can still hear it far away from the distance. I would say up until 1130, midnight. But yeah, we we bought a small box for the kids and, they were ready to go when they woke up that morning let's get the fireworks going on. But we were just, trying to tell'em, gotta wait to nighttime. And the whole block came out and it seemed like everyone had illegal fireworks but us. And yeah

Jon: 2:21

that's about the same here. Everyone else had the big ones in the sky. We actually got ours on Sunday. And yeah, our boys are just, can we do'em tonight? No, I go, we gotta wait. I,

Daniel: 2:34

Not cheap. I go those fireworks two days.

Jon: 2:37

No, I was gonna ask you how how deep into the pocket did you

Daniel: 2:40

go? Because hold on. Sorry. No worries. Forgot to, okay. It's just bothering me.

Jon: 2:52

Yeah, I was gonna ask how deep did you go into the pockets? Cause for us, my, I didn't want to go too big cuz my kids are still young where I could get away getting a small box. But I think that sucks is sparklers. You can't just buy one and even one box is too many.

Daniel: 3:10

Sherry volunteered at Danny's school firework booth, and we were able to get a$50 discount. And so I was like, oh, great, maybe we can, splurge a little bit more. And so Sherry sent me the box of what she got and. I was thinking, okay, maybe she went from one of the more bigger boxes. But then when she sent me the picture, it was one of the smaller boxes and I was a little disappointed. I'm like, oh man, we missed an opportunity to really use that discount. But then she told me how much she spent and how much it really was, and I was like, wow. So that box we bought was. We spent I think$50. It was 60. It was 60 cuz she also got the sparklers, but these are bigger sparklers and so you don't get as many, but they last a little bit longer and so she we felt like that was probably better than having a hundred sparklers just to have five really long ones. But yeah, so in reality that box was original value. It was a hundred dollars. That's how much she, it sold to the public. We got it for 50 and then she bought like that, those blockers like I was telling you about. Yeah, I remember mom and dad. Where was her booth at Lake Center school. In

Jon: 4:37

front of the school. Okay. You know them? I have to check that out cuz we went to St. Paul since it's just right here, down the street from us. And the smallest box was 50 bucks and it wasn't anything special. It was, like I said, my kids are young, so they were happy with what was in there. But yeah, I, the, even, the a hundred dollars box that I saw didn't come with a ton

Daniel: 5:00

and yeah, no, that's the one we got. That's the one we got. And if it wasn't for us taking our time and looking at other people, do their fireworks, we probably would've been done like in about like 15, 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. So it was just I remember I remember there was that one kid we went to school with and it would've, oh yeah, my mom bought, my mom and dad bought the a hundred dollars box and we were like, what? That is crazy. And it was like this huge box. Now it's like Sherry was saying like people were spending like five,$600 easy on fireworks and I'm just like, I, that sounds crazy to me. I just can't imagine spending that much.

Jon: 5:42

Yeah, it's, I know one person that spent 600. On fireworks, but he was spending for

Daniel: 5:48

surgery out

Jon: 5:51

the like his whole family and some people came out in to hang out with them and whatnot. So they, it was like an event for them, but still like 600,

Daniel: 5:58

that's, and I'm on game too, if you want it. Everyone would chip in and buy like the biggest, most expensive box. That makes sense to me. But Right. Yeah. So it was just crazy. Little loud. So it was a little loud for my kids that night. The guy across the street went to light at an illegal firework, and I kid you not, it just blew up. Oh, wow. We heard the pop, I heard like the release, like you hear that release on those illegal ones, it has like a high pitch, right? Yeah, exactly. And then, so I heard that and so I wasn't really paying attention, but then all of a sudden I saw like a, basically an explosion like on the corner of my eye. And yeah, it was just luckily everything was okay, but it was just kinda yeah, this is getting outta hand. So we just what I don't really appreciate is the day after when you go to your, my backyard and you see all the debris from those illegal fireworks now in our backyard, in our pole. Yeah. I gotta say though, it was a good day, like I woke up, played some tennis barbecues of hamburgers and hot dogs. The day before we went to a firework show and was talking to one of the other dads, he smokes meat, so it was like, I'm gonna try smoking chicken. Never tried that before. So did that and I got my itch to start, barbecuing again. It was on, on and on. It was like a really good day. Can't complain. The only bad thing is going back to work the next day. Yeah I'm a big believer. I'm a big believer. I always try to take the fifth off cuz the, usually the festivities happen at night and I'm not that, I'm a big partier, but you usually bedtime gets pushed back a little bit later. So I'd rather just, I'd rather work on the fourth and then take the fifth off, which I've done before in the past.

Jon: 7:58

Yeah, call me old fashioned, but I just did the old boot and rally. You just gotta push through it.

Daniel: 8:05

Yeah, so yeah. So it was good. How was last weekend for you? Last

Jon: 8:10

weekend it was actually nice because it was a slow weekend, didn't really do a whole lot, which was awesome. And I, we pretty much try to say it cuz I have our energy for this weekend coming up cuz we're pretty busy. Got a wedding in Costa Mesa tomorrow and then on Sunday got a birthday party. So we yeah, not too much downtime this weekend.

Daniel: 8:34

Wow. They give you the an update on the striking tigers. We tied on week two was one line. There you go. So it was very, yeah, take a step in the right direction. Yeah. So yeah, so it was fun. It was very competitive math. It was one of those things though too I think I have to take a step back because now it's like I'm constantly thinking about the team and I'm like, how can we get better? Trying to, not that I have no idea what Xs and os, but I'm just trying to like, If I put this person here, if I put this, if I switch up the formation. So yeah, so it's getting fun. I like it. And then my daughter that she liked it good. She's loving it. Yeah, so it's it's quite good. Never thought I would be a soccer dad. I thought I would be a basketball dad or a football dad, or even a baseball dad, but not a soccer dad. Still

Jon: 9:24

early. It's been good. She could still play tomorrow, those games.

Daniel: 9:26

Yeah. So tomorrow's picture day. So we're gonna, we gotta go there a little early. Take the picture and then we're playing I forgot who we're playing, but in a couple weeks. So I thought we were playing, we played the top team with the best player in week one and it turns out there's an the second best team. It's not too far from them as far. They probably have the best kid in the league. Gonna have to come up with the defensive strategy and see what happens. So it's gonna be it's gonna be fun. Are you make it out pretty

Jon: 9:58

soon? I was gonna tell, text me the. So I could put it in the calendar.

Daniel: 10:04

So tomorrow tomorrow you have the wedding. But tomorrow, 1230.

Jon: 10:08

1230 yeah, it's gonna be close.

Daniel: 10:11

Yeah, text me

Jon: 10:11

the schedule and then I can I can plan out to, to drive over there one of these weekends. I know on the 12th of this, no, not 12th, later this month there's a draft for My son's team, I didn't even know they did this. I just thought they assigned kids randomly to a team. But there's a coaches meeting this 12th coming up and that's just to do a walkthrough, what to expect and all that stuff. And then later this month there's a draft, which is, sounds pretty inten intense, but but yeah, we'll see how that goes.

Daniel: 10:45

I always wonder how those things go because I don't know. It's just like you don't know every kid, so it's just, so from what I've heard, how do you keep the, how do you keep the teams fair?

Jon: 10:57

From what I heard is the season that we just ended with my son's soccer. The coaches, we had to give an evaluation on each player.

Daniel: 11:07

To be honest,

Jon: 11:09

it's, I think it's like one, three, or five. Obviously five is like the kids, awesome. Three is the kids, solid, and then one, they're still just being introduced to the sport. So you just give numbers to the players. And then I think it's for the purpose of if they sign up again and it's when they do this draft, you see the numbers there in a five, three and a one and then You try to, I guess I'm assuming you just try to get all the fives you can and then threes and then ones and Yeah.

Daniel: 11:42

So I have something to tell you. I made my official comeback last week, comeback four. Back into golf. Into golf. Yeah. So Hung out was my friend. Were you ever there? I'm always off and on in spurts. I'm

Jon: 12:05

always like in spur, I'm gonna say, I dunno if you ever really

Daniel: 12:07

there to say you back. Usually we'll play for about a couple months in a row and then, take a break. And but shout out to my friend Jeanie. It was her birthday and, ah, happy birthday, Jeanie. So she's, 100% into golf right now. Excuse me. That's like her big obsession, her big hobby right now. And yeah, we went to Pico Rivera Golf course and you'd be it's interesting they changed the course layout a little bit. Did they? Yeah. So 5, 6, 7, I think eight. It's a little different. One, two. So like that. That

Jon: 12:47

back, so that straightaway

Daniel: 12:48

on the back way. Yeah. I think it's right along the river bed six when you're shooting Hill to Hill or the seven, I think it's seven when you got Yeah, I was gonna say, I think

Jon: 13:01

that's, yeah, it's

Daniel: 13:02

just around there. Yeah. Yeah. No more of that. I got rid of that. Oh yeah. So where do you go from there?

Jon: 13:09

Or is you just haven't seen off from there? It's like

Daniel: 13:11

a little bit to I think after, let say three. Four. Wait. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Yeah, so like on six. Then you five and six are really close to each other. They're like the fairways are like really thin. They squeezed them in a little bit. And then Eight, you still have the water, you still have to get over the water. And then nine is the same. So it was fun. Yeah, it's can't wait to go back. I've been looking at watching golf. I saw the documentary on Netflix called Full Swing. Been watching the tournament, so I actually can't wait. I'm actually thinking about gotta talk to the wife, see how she feels, but playing nine holes. This on Sunday, maybe at Norwalk. It's it's a smaller course and so I'm gonna go, I'm gonna try and make it out there. But yeah, I'm trying to, the patch is starting to come back a little bit,

Jon: 14:09

actually made an attempt to to golf. A few weeks back, my buddy Matt asked me out of the blue, Hey, let's go swing the clubs again. And He actually had a slight, like hairline fraction in his rib, so we had to reschedule.

Daniel: 14:24

But next time you're available, hes available. Get up there. Yeah. Like again, we don't have to, I know we always go to Long Beach, but Norwalk we been to Norwalk, we,

Jon: 14:37

I think once, but a really long time ago. I don't

Daniel: 14:39

remember it. Yeah. It's a very short course. It's probably like 10 bucks, something really cheap. And so but it's practice and but I was hitting the ball really good. I was happy chipping different story, but yeah. So what would you say

Jon: 14:55

is your better game? Your short game or your long game? Oh,

Daniel: 14:58

Definitely long game. I would take some pretty good tees, but again, These are with irons and it's shorter course, but was definitely overall very happy with the tee off, but it was, like I said, it was fine. Glad I did it and I can't wait to go back and do it again. Hopefully I can play a little more consistently. Think I'm gonna try to play like once every two weeks and see how I am at the end of the year. There you go. So that's what I wanted to talk about tonight is how do you feel? Do you feel guilty when you take time off for yourself? So for instance like this was like a, yeah.. Okay, so that's something I wanted to bring up tonight is do you feel guilty when you take time for yourself? So I think every situation's different, but for for me, every weekend, mostly Sundays, I tend to play tennis with My buddies, and usually it's seven in the morning to nine o'clock in to nine o'clock at night. I wish to nine in the morning and I could see how you feel selfish. And so I'm never, I feel like I'm missing a lot, but it's still it's a lot on Sherry, to get the kids breakfast, start the chores and stuff. Do you feel guilty? Oh, first of all. Okay. So do you feel guilty when you take time off for yourself?

Jon: 16:29

In the beginning or before? I do go to the activity and after the activity I do during the activity. Normally I'm not really thinking about it. So I'm thinking about like when I would go play hockey, so yeah, exactly. When I played hockey, obviously once I was playing, I was zoned in. I was just there. Leaving. I feel bad. I feel there's some guilt there. And then on the way home I do find myself trying to rush home to try to be able to start like helping out and relieve some of that, pressure. Yeah.

Daniel: 17:00

Yeah. So I'm like the same way, but like I feel like there's a little piece of me that. The anxiety starts to set in while I'm away. And therefore I'm not saying like I don't enjoy myself cuz I, I do I got to play tennis on 4th of July. And then the Sunday before that and then that Friday went to go play golf and each time I had a blast and getting good exercise and spending time with friends getting away. But then the same time, it's like in. The back of my head, it's like, what are the kids doing? I hope everything's going okay, because sometimes it's a hit where I come home and it's oh yeah, everything's great. No issues. Everyone's in a good mood and there's times where it's like, It's a disaster. And we have to regroup. We have to reset. And I never know what I'm gonna get. Usually Sherry does a good job of communicating with me and, hey this is what's going on. Need your help when you come home with this. Or Hey, on your way home, can you pick up this? Or, be when you come home, be prepared to. To do that. Yeah, we do a good job communicating when I'm out. But yeah, there's always a little part of me that's, like I said, it's a little anxiety where I'm like, okay, I have to get back home. Not that I have to get back home, but I want to get back home cuz I do my kids right. Especially too I always try to make a habit to be home when the kids are asleep. Or not before they go to sleep. I always, I want them to know that everything's safe and sound dad's home and they don't have to worry. That's why when it killed me when we first had Danny I think it was, it might have been three and I started a tennis league at Woodier College and. The games were at seven 30 to 10 o'clock at night, and that seven 30 mark was bedtime. But I would have to leave like at six 30 to get to the course to stretch warm up. And the league was fun. I loved the league, but it always killed me that I wasn't home till like her in, and even though like Sherry was trying to tell me, it was like she's really young, so I don't think it's, that big of a deal. Just felt like I was letting, getting down and sherry. Yeah, that's like a number one rule for me. Before I make any plans. I try to be home where they're asleep.

Jon: 19:42

And when you say let them down, are you, do you refer to as Disappointment or just like feeling incomplete or what do you mean?

Daniel: 19:48

I just felt like it would I want them knowing, okay I go to sleep, dad's there. So I know like how like Alex will look at a picture of the Hulk. And he won't say Hulk he'll, like he'll point and be like, oh, there's daddy. And that's what he thinks when, that's how he pictures. That's how he sees me. So like I said, I want them feeling safe and secure when they go to bed. Not Hey, where's dad? And and I don't want them to say, yeah. Yeah. I think there was one time Oh, no. There's been a couple times actually with my basketball league. I've come home like at 9 30, 10 o'clock, and Alex is still awake and it's like, where's daddy? Where's daddy? And Oh, I think it's, but I think it's more like it's a Cardi place to try to stay up, hey, where's that guy at? Like, where's the. And yeah. That's funny. Yeah, so it's just yeah, I try not to do it. I know, I think Sherry should do it more for herself. I think it's different with moms. They tend to feel a little more guilty than doing it cuz I always try to encourage her to Hey, why don't you call her friend and, and have coffee or, just a group of friends that get together every so often. Why don't you go join them? But I think like sometimes it's like mom guilt gets in the way. And and I get that. But at the same time too, I think it's healthy. Like maybe like once, maybe twice a week you take time for yourself and do something for yourself. Yeah.

Jon: 21:27

And I definitely I think I used to feel a little more guilty when I was working full-time, my full-time shift, because I wasn't getting home until 6 45 ish and the kids' bedtime roughly around seven 30 ish, give or take a little. But I would come home, get to hang out with them for a little bit, and then we had to start getting'em ready for bed and then they went to bed. And so when it came to the weekend, and that was the days where I got to see them for the whole day. Going to leave to play hockey. I felt bad. And then on the way home, I rush home to see like the kids, but like you said, help out if it needed and whatnot. But now with my schedule the way it is, that's only work till two 30 and I'm, when the kids are in school I'm the one picking them up and I'll spending more time with them. I think that becomes, I. Not necessarily a necessity, but just something that you said, like you said, healthy, that you just need your me time, your little. Getaway. I don't getaway sounds bad, but you know what it,

Daniel: 22:25

no, you need that. Yeah. You need the time for yourself to yeah. You need a break basically. And that's the best way I can put it. Yeah. Yeah. You need a little break, recharge your batteries and then come back hang

Jon: 22:36

up the cape from being dad's for, all

Daniel: 22:38

So we were just talking about where we need off.

Jon: 22:42

We just. Was just talking about how when I played hockey coming home and out, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Because now I have a different schedule while I'm spending more time with them. It's healthy to get that away

Daniel: 22:57

time. Okay. I, and I was gonna ask you a question about that now I draw a blank, I think, what was I gonna ask you?

Jon: 23:12

About spending more time with the kids? No.

Daniel: 23:17

Okay. All okay. You ready? Sure. Okay. Okay. So I was just curious if do you tend to get overwhelmed when your wife. Takes time off for herself? No.

Jon: 23:36

I feel like I am one of those people. If there's a heads up and she gives me like, Hey, I'm gonna go, out to coworkers this weekend, or blah blah, blah. I'm like, okay, cool. So I have mentally prepared for that to happen, but if it's just like spur of the moment Hey, is it cool if I can, go hang up the coworkers after work, like after the shift right now? I always say yes because I don't want, her to miss out any opportunities cuz she she rarely takes them. And again, when it's prepared, it's a lot easier for me when it's just on the spot like that and it's change. It's a 50 50 toss, whether it's gonna go smooth or the kids are just gonna be a little more rowdy and

Daniel: 24:19

Yeah. What about you? Yeah. Again, my wife doesn't really take a lot of time off for herself. But when she does, I tend not to bother her. And my philosophy is just take as much time as you want, take as much time as you need. And majority of the time she'll come home at her very reasonable hour. But then, I'm so sorry. I'm home late and I'm like, no, you're good. Don't worry about it. Kids are fed ba bathed and they're tucked into, they're asleep, it's all good. Don't, why are you apologizing? Yeah, and I think, we do a good job of communicating. I don't think there's ever been a time where I, at the last minute, Hey, do you mind if I go here or, Vice versa. We usually tend to try to plan out our our activities, I guess you can say. Yeah, I'm just trying to think if there was ever a time at the last minute. But usually in that case we tend to like, okay, so if one's gonna have do something that night, it's gonna be like, okay, then we're gonna have an easy dinner. So maybe Butter noodles or spaghetti something, easy. I'll try it right now. It's easy because it's hot. And so it's okay guys, we're gonna go, we're gonna go swimming. Like last night my wife had some errands to run. Not necessarily time for herself, but she was actually running some errands. And All right, guys, we're eat your dinner right now. Let's go swimming in the backyard. And. Did that for a while, and they, yeah, it was great. Could spent, loved having a pole because could knock off like two hours right there, easy. And then plus two, we got, and we got furniture in the backyard, so like now we're lounging on the couch in the, nice. In the backyard. And so yeah, it was nice. But yeah, so like I said, like we, I tend to like my, my philosophy is like, it's something that every parent, I would recommend maybe taking like at least an hour for yourself, like a week whatever it is. Even if it's just going for a walk. That's something I did during the pandemic. I would go for a walk. I'll be right back and 45 minutes later I'll be back and. Just clearing my mind and getting out of the house, getting fresh air did wonders for, for my mental health cause that's, as a parent, I always feel like I have to be on guard, that's why it's so hard for me to have a couple drinks when, we're with friends or something because I just got a feeling. Whenever my kids are there, one, I don't want them to see me like that, but then two. I just feel like I have to be at my best when they're around. Gotcha. But even then too even when they're not around, it's okay, they could call, something could happen any second. So I don't wanna have like too many, like where I was talking a few months ago and. I ordered shots for everybody and did a shot, and then, I was having a beer. Then next thing you know, I come to the bathroom and it's like another shot. And I'm kinda like, all right, just then you're too behind. Catch up. Catch up like the last one because yeah, I gotta be, when I get home, I feel like I, it's like Sherry's been with the kids. All day. So like I have to step in and, be dad, yeah. So that's it, but, all so one quick question. What's your favorite as of right now? What's your favorite activity when you're taking time off for yourself? What's the one thing you do? I probably play hockey. Hockey. So you're in a hockey league right now?

Jon: 27:59

No, right now I'm not I'm looking to join on an ice league and their seasons go a little longer, but but yeah, that would be the one thing that I would just love to go do.

Daniel: 28:09

Okay. So what about right now? Like right now what do you do

Jon: 28:14

right now? To be honest with you, I got stuck in this whole pattern of each day and whatnot. Yeah. Right now I'm not doing anything. Like I said, I just started looking into the hockey league and waiting for one season to end alone to begin, I could jump in. Cool.

Daniel: 28:30

For all, for me, I have Thursday night basketball which we're getting ready to take a three week break. So this was the first week and then let me see. Oh yeah, I got tennis on either, it's either Saturday or Sunday. Like tomorrow, Saturday, we're planning tomorrow, but usually it's like on Sundays. So usually those are my two days where I'm doing something like for myself. It killed me. A few years ago when I was working two jobs, I would go to my full-time job and then, I used to work out, like in LA in Sunland. No. Then I would leave there like at three o'clock and then drive over to the valley. And first of all, a lot of cities in the valley never realized how many cities there were in there. And then basically yeah, start, I was working with pediatrics with kids with autism, and it was just it's felt like an hour commute. From where I live, so from three to seven 30 would be working with kids and then getting home at eight 30, and that's the time where we let the kids stay up a little bit longer just because I wanted to say goodnight to them. That was like my only interaction for them. That was, that went on for about, I want to say six months where I would see my kids. In the morning and get to talk with them. Let, they would tell me how, like Danny would tell me how her day was the day before and I would have breakfast with them interact with them, get them ready for school and then, I would go out to work and I wouldn't see them until, it was time to say goodnight and yeah, that was rough. That was a rough six months. One, cuz that was a big part of it. Not having time to spend with my kids, wanting more time with them and then just physically and mentally the toll it took on me. Hold on, John. All right, Alex, I'll be right there, Alex. All right. You can wrap it up. All righty. Yeah, we'll wrap it up right now. Okay? Yeah. What happened? No. Why's that? Daddy's working? What happened? Show Daddy. Come on. Show Daddy Tired. What happened? Fire Head siren. Okay, hold on. I'll look for siren Head. Okay, you wait. You know what's funny? It's like this is gonna be like our shortest podcast episode. I know.

Jon: 31:42

Down the extra deleted scenes.

Daniel: 31:46

Okay. So before we start, get back we'll just wrap it up. No dad draft nothing. Okay. Okay. All right. Ready? 3, 2, 1, go. All right. Is there anything else you wanted to add? Cause I think I'm good for tonight.

Jon: 32:01

No. We got a, of course our fun facts of the day you could hear a blue whales heartbeat from more than two miles away. That's

Daniel: 32:10

interesting. Two miles. That's interesting. They're large. All right. That concludes tonight's episode. If you wanna get ahold of us, you can look on for us on our Instagram 42 dash six podcast from John and I have a great weekend and don't go changing.