More than just mindfulness

Gratitude

March 20, 2019 Season 2 Episode 27
More than just mindfulness
Gratitude
Chapters
More than just mindfulness
Gratitude
Mar 20, 2019 Season 2 Episode 27
Robert Mitchell
In meditation, the term Gratitude covers a number of practices that help us to work with our positive emotions. This episode describes, guides and explains the basic gratitude practices.
Show Notes Transcript

Gratitude in the context of meditation is the word that is used to describe a collection of practices that use positive emotions to help us understand our relationship to the world, and to ourselves and which help us balance our lives in a way that is more helpful for our happiness.
In this episode, Robert describes how these practices work and introduces them fully explained as a set of practices that produce great results for the students that practice them.
Meditations are: the meditation of no meditation for sound - the meditation of no meditation for the breath - the four tens meditation - the self compassion meditation - the gratitude meditation.

Speaker 1:
0:12
Gratitude. Gratitude is, are you word that is used to describe many practices?:
Speaker 2:
0:21
Yeah,:
Speaker 1:
0:22
and gratitude is only one of the areas of focus of the gratitude practices. There are, in modern meditation, there's a thing that I teach on the courses, which is known as the three good things. If I've got 10 or 12 people on the course,:
Speaker 2:
0:47
okay.:
Speaker 1:
0:47
Invariably one person's life becomes changed completely by doing this practice every day for six weeks, and then many people continue the practice. When I first started teaching, this was new. Now what happens is if I mention it often, there's somebody that's already done it. Sometimes there's two or three and some of them do it all the time and it operates a whole lots of different levels. So the practice consists of each day writing down three new things to feel grateful for or appreciative of. And you know, if you skip a day, you just write down six the following day.:
Speaker 2:
1:41
Yeah.:
Speaker 1:
1:41
And it's unfortunate to watch what happens first. First and foremost, there is a resistance to the whole concept of the word of word gratitude. It's, it's something that I think was part of our culture and we've got lost in a whole lot of ways. And gratitude is one of them.:
Speaker 2:
2:15
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
2:16
And it is seen as a religious concept that you, I mean gratitude. Who are you grateful to it? It must be that there's a divine being. So therefore if you don't believe in that and it doesn't apply to you, and so it goes in the bin and it gets removed from education. I assume at some point it was part of education when education wasn't entirely secular. And so because of that, it's, it's, it's viewed with a lot of suspicion along with various other stock phrases of the self help to genre found their way in from the east largely. So there's gratitude, there's acceptance, there's forgiveness, they're all fundamentally misunderstood. So to, to cater for the secular nature of my students. And so help them to find a way of engaging in this practice, which is fundamentally life changing for many people. I have to find a definition. So the definition that I use is this. What gratitude is, is the recognition that you are uniquely privileged to have an experience that you appreciate. So although many people have a mental block around gratitude, they don't have a mental block block about appreciation because appreciation is part of our culture. Uh, and say, you know, if, if it's associated to being able to sell people things, then it becomes part of our culture quite deeply. So you've got things like arts appreciation and so on.:
Speaker 1:
4:23
It's a recognition, it's a realization that in the entire universe, I am the only person that can see the sun shining on the floor the way it does with the patterns that are there.:
Speaker 1:
4:41
All right? So gratitude has to be relearned as a useful concept. And that definition of it being something that only I uniquely can appreciate is the most useful way of doing it. So only I and the entire universe can see the patterns on the floor, can see the lights in the ceiling, can see the shade of light on the window in a building across the street. Only me. And one of the things to notice about gratitude is how free it is, which is probably one of the reasons why it's been binned because you can't really sell anybody gratitude. In fact, if you spend your life appreciating your otherwise neutral present moment and being grateful for what's in it, your personal needs become diminishingly small, which is actually the opposite of being able to sell people.:
Speaker 1:
5:59
That was a really interesting little article appeared on a blog somewhere recently about how mindfulness was going to create an economic catastrophe because if these people go around meditating, appreciating the present moment, then they'll stop buying cars and holidays and new clothes and new kitchens and upgrading their houses. And, and of course that's the worst possible thing that can happen. Uh, and uh, it was good, it was quite tongue in cheek and amusing, but it has a kernel of truth. So my job is, is to fold as a meditation teacher. Well three, three things. Let's say there's three things really. One is to get you doing a meditation practice of any sorts. And the other is to get your doing a mindfulness meditation practice. So that you return your attention to the present moment and you become connected to the present moment. You become aware of the sensory experience of now and it becomes something that is accessible for you. And then the final thing is when you are in, now, if we look at our neutral present moment experience, it's often perceived to be not good enough. So it's very telling. One of the key documents of our culture is actually the declaration of independence for the United States. And it speaks about liberal liberties.:
Speaker 2:
7:49
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
7:50
And, and I think it, it says basically life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And it's very interesting that they refer to it as pursuit. So it, it's as if happiness is something that is always not quite a tiny Annabelle. Something that you spend your life discovering what brings you happiness and what happiness is. So now the Dalai Lama is, is not limited in his observations. And he goes around the world teaching about happiness and gratitude and the whole Buddhist [inaudible], which is the practice of loving kindness, which is a better name for this than gratitude. Um, with respect to meditation. And he defines happiness as gaining fulfillment from neutral experiences. So fulfillment is not needing anything else. So there you all sing a bus stop in the Ryan, somebody says to you, would you rather have this yacht in the Caribbean?:
Speaker 2:
9:11
Yeah.:
Speaker 1:
9:12
How much you feel you need. The alt is an indication of how unhappy you are. I'm sorry, but it's true because if you can go in fulfillment, the which is an absence of the need for more, and the Buddhists have gotten a name for this, it's craving. I can't even begin to pronounce the word they use as a craving. There's a desire to change your present moment experience and possibly change your own or your own experience in your entire life and so on and so forth to bring you something which you don't have. But if you're able to find that thing in the present moment, then you'll probably take the yacht and donate it because what do you need it for? What experiences there that actually tops being fulfilled by a neutral experience.:
Speaker 2:
10:24
Okay,:
Speaker 1:
10:25
so this, this is the hamster wheel of the 21st century. I'll be going into this in the modern mind series, but from the perspective of how we find this experience of fulfillment with neutral experiences in our day. And then the way to do is firstly to become aware of your inner and external experience. Notice all all that arises in it because without being aware of it, aware of your thoughts, aware of the patterns that they tend to construct, aware of your emotions, aware of your responses, aware of your behavior. There's no secret sauce, there's no magic wand to wave over it, but you need to become deeply aware of the present moment. And then when you become aware of the present moment, you're able to direct your awareness to the detail in it, to the experience of it without the intervention of all of the thoughts and emotions and:
Speaker 2:
11:50
okay.:
Speaker 1:
11:51
Expectations and beliefs and desires and wants and needs that were programmed into having. And is it, well, I'm not suggesting there's an evil conspiracy. This is what happens when you get 8 billion human beings on the planet and they're all living in. Most of them are living in cities of 10 million people. There's a kind of lowest common denominator effect where the the least useful things become common to everybody and the most useful things get driven out of the way because when you're addressing an audience, perfect example is the Sun newspaper. If you make the reading age as low as you possibly can, what that means is more people can read it. If more people can read it, then you have more sales. So there's a of lowest common denominator effect that and in return for that lowest common denominator your audience grows. So whatever it is, whether it's teaching meditation or whether it's flogging super yachts is the more people you can get your message out to,:
Speaker 1:
13:17
the better for you. And so this is, this is how our lives have become saturated with concepts and beliefs and things and experiences that actually don't contribute towards our happiness because for one reason or another, as I are more useful to the individuals and organizations that are promoting it. And then something like gratitude and self compassion and awareness of your present moment experience just shrivels away and dies. It's actually a thing of great wonder. This is becoming something that people are more aware of and I think that's a reaction to how a modern lives aren't working. There's a three stage thing now gets a practice. If you haven't got a practice, get a practice. If you're struggling to get a practice, speak to me. That's what I'm here for.:
Speaker 1:
14:16
Trial and error. That's how it works. Try something that doesn't work. You try something else that doesn't work. Try something else that doesn't work. And then Lo and behold, you've got practice. And then you build on that and from then on it becomes easier. Second thing is do mindfulness meditation. Do the following, the breath meditation, labeling the thoughts, counting the breaths. Something similar where your mind wanders, you come back to your present moment, mind wanders back to the present moment that gets here, here. And this today is about once you're here, it's pretty done. Neutral. It's not good enough. How do I reconnect? So the present moment in a why the and now you both to be fulfilling for me. So the the why either I do that now. Invariably at the moment is to start off with what I call the meditation of no meditation,:
Speaker 3:
15:27
which is:
Speaker 1:
15:29
I why of connecting to our ancient mind. So we've got a modern mind. The modern mind is the list of things that's running through your head. When you wake up in the morning, the ancient mind, it's connected to your environment. It's the thing that stops. You're walking out in front of a car. It's the thing that you had managed, allows you to pick out your child's voice in a crowd. It's an incredibly sophisticated thing and it's running all the time. We want to connect to it. So the way to connect to is listen for the next sound:
Speaker 3:
16:11
and just wait for the next sound.:
Speaker 1:
16:23
So we're not trying to do anything. It doesn't matter how busy the mind is. So your mind can be school king of why you can be listening to me while you are listening to me. You can still be listening for the next sound if you do this often enough. It's a way of instantly connecting to the present moment and is you're not doing anything with an ex sound. Every so often you'll, you'll notice your modern mind operating and what it will do is find a sound and it will focus on that sound and focus everything else out because it lives in a world of perceived safety. You can give one thing in your experience or most your full attention without making yourself vulnerable. Now, this file's really badly when you're driving along in a car looking at your mobile phone.:
Speaker 3:
17:48
Right? I are:
Speaker 4:
17:50
a few other exceptions, but generally speaking, we can drift for our day. Focusing on one thing, focusing on another thing, focusing on a train of thoughts, for example, to the exclusion of everything else, focusing on what's in our mobile phone, focusing on listening to somebody and ignoring all of the other sounds, but the, the ancient mind had doesn't have that luxury. It's constantly processing every sound that comes into your awareness. How does new sounds arise? It wants to get there quickly. In Hawaii, it's like surfing a wave of sound. Just listening. Just white sane.:
Speaker 3:
19:37
Yeah.:
Speaker 4:
19:38
Just listening for what, however, the next sound days, wherever it happens to be, if there is no sound, you know, waiting for the next one at some point, sound will arise. So this is what your cat does all the time. Cats, mine's don't wonder, constantly plugged in, constantly listening for the next sound. So if you're a cat on that, you've had this experience, the cat sat on your lap, it's power and a y. If that was you, you'd be in a dream world. And then there's a noise. It's off your lap like a lightening. I might just be great in someone at the door, or it might think he's heard a mouse or another cat or something like that. So it can be, you can be totally, totally relaxed and be listening for the next sound, just waiting for it. What we'll do is we'll move from this exercise very gently,:
Speaker 3:
22:05
okay.:
Speaker 4:
22:05
Towards a meditation. So first of all, we'll do the meditation of no meditation for the breath, which is isn't about the breath, it's about the movement of the belly, the belly rising and falling. So these are the two practices that [inaudible] Pasha teachers everywhere he goes in the world,:
Speaker 3:
22:46
listening:
Speaker 4:
22:49
and noticing the tiny movement of the belly. All right, sit in the belly. Rising,:
Speaker 3:
22:57
unfolding.:
Speaker 4:
23:23
So just like they meditation of nine, meditation for sound. This movement of the ballet, something's happening all the time. And you know, body, mind, your subconscious, he's managing for you. Transferring oxygen and CO2, keeping out of the optimum level. And there's this constant movement of the belly rising and falling. Well, let's hold a note saying just that movement:
Speaker 3:
24:39
and if you want, if you're all:
Speaker 4:
24:43
mind is busy and you find this in in little slice, the slightest bit unsatisfactory, which is the case for 15% of people, you can soften the experience:
Speaker 3:
24:57
by labeling.:
Speaker 4:
24:59
Oh, noting the experience.:
Speaker 3:
25:02
Okay,:
Speaker 4:
25:02
so labeling or noting is when we say some words in our mind:
Speaker 3:
25:10
to acknowledge:
Speaker 4:
25:15
anything that's happened in, in our environment or in our inner experience, on the words we use my notes in the belly rising and falling. That's what he pray. Even we say an hour mind rising and does the ballet fold. We say an hour, mind fallen,:
Speaker 3:
25:40
rising, folding.:
Speaker 4:
25:55
Remember the party gets to chose how long you breathe in for how quickly you're brave. You just relax and let it do its thing and you're just noticing the movement. No repeating the mantra in your head. The simplest mantra there is:
Speaker 3:
26:20
rising. Falling. Okay.:
Speaker 4:
26:36
It doesn't matter if the is busy, it doesn't matter if the mind wanders. There's no instructions just happening throughout all the time that we're doing this meditation when we're aware of it. Rising, falling,:
Speaker 3:
28:17
rising, rolling.:
Speaker 4:
28:59
Okay. So we'll move into a meditation so it feel sitting, elbows by the side, head balanced as comfortably as possible on the spine, tongue up against the back of the top. Teeth and finger on thumb. Very, very gently connected. Well, we're doing this notice in the Bra. Well that's my breathing in and out. Breathing in, breathing out. When noticing the sensation of the eyes and the eye brows and the cheeks. We're aware of the breath.:
Speaker 3:
29:58
Yeah,:
Speaker 4:
30:00
just focusing our attention on the eyebrows, the eyes and the cheeks. Gently relaxing on the out breath finger on the farm as loosely connected as possible. So you'll be able to put her cigarette pipe up between them. Tire against the back of the top teeth, breathing out gently, relaxing tension out of your eyes. This is incremental relaxation, relaxing, tiny bit by tiny bit by tiny bit. Breathing in normally Tommy against the back of the top teeth and contact with the sharp part of the bottom. Teeth. Breathing out, relaxing the mouth and neps jaw and throat. So I'm on fourth finger, still very, very softly and touch. Breathing in normally, elbows by the side, head balanced, breathing out, relaxing the back and sides of the neck on the shoulders just and the tension and tightness out. What do you think you'd normally finger and thumb? Very gently and contacts. Breathing out, relaxing the hands and notice how your fender and some being in contact has already relaxed your hands so it's easier. Now I see you breathing out gently, laying ever tightness and tension. Pressure and stress. There is just laying out your hands on the out breath:
Speaker 4:
33:32
and breathing in. Breathe into the top of your head and then breathing out. Starting at the top of your head on a long relaxing out breath, relaxing the eyes, jaw, shoulders down to the tips of your finger, down through your feet and into the floor. Put anything in so the top of the head and then we probably eating out like a wave of relaxation. Moving down the potty. You down to the tips of your fingers down through your feet and into the floor. Relaxing on the out breath and now for another mantra and you carry on relaxing, relaxing the entire body. All on the out breath. That's when the body's in relaxation mode. Breathing in. It's in stress mode. All right. Starting from the top of your head down to the tips of your fingers, down to your toes. And then on the first outbreath you're saying your mind. May I be well,:
Speaker 3:
34:53
yeah.:
Speaker 4:
34:54
Second out breath. May I be happy so that out breath my I find peace of mind. May I'd be well,:
Speaker 3:
35:18
yeah,:
Speaker 4:
35:20
may I be happy. Well I find peace of mind. You're just repeating that. No, it's in the cycle of the breath. Cleanse in the body. Clean, fresh air. Breathing out. We'd been down through the body, relaxing, relaxing, relaxing. As you repeat the mantra. May I be well, may I be happy my, I find peace of mind on three successive out breaths and then start again repeating it. That'd be well, may I be happy when I find peace of mind? Might not know it's mood elevation at first. At first. So neutralizing experience. If you've got unsatisfactoriness then that is another version:
Speaker 3:
37:08
you've moved from:
Speaker 4:
37:11
failing on satisfactory to feeling neutral. I'd be well,:
Speaker 3:
37:25
yeah, I'd be happy.:
Speaker 4:
37:28
I find peace of mind breathing in, noticing what you can smell and taste and the sensation of sitting and in your very own time they return your attention to the room. Okay, so the mind, the body, the emotions, the role connected. The mind is like an empty space in which he whips off them.:
Speaker 1:
38:36
When the mind is unclear, it says if we've taken a glass and filled it up with water, with sediment in it from a river and you shake it and you can't see anything, you put the glass down and leave it on. The sediment drifts down to the bottom and you see you experience clarity. And what clarity is, is the capacity to witness your experience without the intervention of the modern mind. So the sounds of your hair is sounds, it's like a hub. The thoughts arise and their words and my words it just:
Speaker 2:
39:22
another word.:
Speaker 1:
39:29
And so from there, you know, then I able to:
Speaker 1:
39:35
connect to the body. So you're connecting to the present moment, the mind, the body, and the body is the sensory receptor. It's learning how cold or hot the air is or how comfortable or uncomfortable the chair or the yoga mat is or how noisy the passing hadn't culture is. And it's constantly bringing the experience of the present moment to you. And we intervene in that. And that intervention causes suffering to arise to the Perth. The purpose of the suffering is to identify what's intervening between your awareness of the present moment and the present moment itself. We're adding something to it. Thoughts, emotions from the day, baggage expectation. When we see something we don't see the thing we're looking at. We see layers upon layers upon layers of good and bad and right and wrong and useful or not useful or luxurious or ugly or or new or old.:
Speaker 1:
41:01
And then so the mind's just becomes an instrument for judging everything and we are no longer experience the present moment as it is. So this is what the design of meditation is. The design of meditation is to give you clarity of experience. You can see what's absolutely real and what's absolutely real is what every other human being in the world, no matter what their cultural perspective would see from something. And then everything that you add to it, you need to notice yourself adding or taking away from your experience. And often it's taken away. This is not good enough so that the neutral present moment becomes not good enough. So we need to reconnect to it. So the self compassion meditation, which is the Mantra I was teaching, that gets resistance and it gets resistance because we see it as an absolute s is a very common thing thing called black and white thinking. You're either ridiculously selfish doing everything you can for yourself to the exclusion of everybody else or your doing everything and living your life through other people.:
Speaker 1:
42:29
And it's noble and our culture to do things for other people and it's perceived as selfish doing things for yourself. So we've got this false dichotomy. Now, the way that the self compassion meditation works is incredibly subtly. First, it's just words. It might just be words, although you might notice and emotional response to it as you resist the concept that you can wish yourself well and wish yourself happiness and wish yourself peace of mind. But look at why you're wishing a self pace of mind. It's because you want that clarity and I'm at no matter what you do and who you do it with, doing it from a place of clarity is infinitely better for everybody. Second, can dispense with all of the expectations and beliefs and thoughts and desires and wants and needs and actually see what's left. When you've stripped away all of the cultural engineering, then you're in a better position to make a choice. And this is where choices arise. I pop into our awareness, this meditation, the self compassion meditation. It's a mindfulness meditation. If our mind wanders, we know this. When we go back, it holds in it the softest possible way of bringing to our awareness:
Speaker 2:
44:18
the:
Speaker 1:
44:20
we can be happy and then over time it becomes an incredibly powerful thing in our lives. A little bit like the three good things for the people whose lives it changes.:
Speaker 2:
44:36
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
44:36
Because what happens, the resistance that they experience is they tick off the things that I can feel grateful for. I'm grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my parents, for my family, for my house, in my car, for my job. I'm grateful for them on my neighbors and my grateful for my friends. Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah. And they run out:
Speaker 2:
44:56
okay.:
Speaker 1:
44:57
The universe for our perspective is infinite.:
Speaker 2:
45:01
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
45:02
So what that means is there's like 10 things to be grateful for and none of the rest, the infinity of the universe,:
Speaker 2:
45:13
okay?:
Speaker 1:
45:14
The beauty of the stars comes under the heading holiday. If you live in a city, but actually they're there every night and you can, if you see one star, you can experience it the same way that you can lying on the top of a hill looking up at the Milky Way.:
Speaker 2:
45:36
Yeah,:
Speaker 1:
45:36
it's, it's essentially the same thing, but we do, we do the comparison of there's the Milky Way, lots and lots of stars, right the way across the sky. Doesn't it make us feel small as a tiny little.in the sky and it just gets dismissed. It's not good enough. I've had the milky way experience. I don't want the star.:
Speaker 2:
45:58
Okay,:
Speaker 1:
45:59
so it all goes in the bin. So doing those three things and doing the self compassion meditation, sadly, sadly, sadly helps us to recognize what we can be grateful for and the place to look is in the present moment because the present moment's infinite. It has more information in it than you can possibly absorb.:
Speaker 2:
46:29
Yeah.:
Speaker 1:
46:29
You've just, you're just picking out tiny, tiny little things as you look around you and perceive incredible amount of information when it actually gets to the visual cortex. It's amazing how little there is and somehow or another we navigate our reality in it, but if we calm and clear our mind, then we're able to let all of the experience of the present moment in it. It rebalances the scales because the scale is a pushing down on our neutral present moment experience. Our culture does it and we do it and the way that we've perceived the world to be and what we want to do is rebalance it. We want to elevate the experience of the present moment and say, if you look for that in all of the meditations, look for the present moment in the next sound.:
Speaker 2:
47:38
Yeah,:
Speaker 1:
47:41
the sound of the bell and there's the purity and clarity of event. Never get their second, second chance to have at this present moment. So if you want to get yourselves comfortable, this helps us to be aware of Walt, intervene in the satisfactory in this of the present moment that stops it being sufficient to fulfill us.:
Speaker 2:
48:27
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
48:30
And so I feel noticing your breath and noticing yourself sitting on the sensation of pain here right now, and bring to mind something, all someone someplace experience, whatever it happens to be that lifts your spirits. If that's a difficult thing for you. Now, look in the past, find the peak experience we'll take for retirees or whatever it was that brings you the most joy. That brings you a warm feeling.:
Speaker 2:
49:16
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
49:16
And there's a being associated with that. Could be a human being, could be a creature, could be a pet. I give it a name, which is, that's the symbol of our gratitude.:
Speaker 2:
49:29
Okay?:
Speaker 1:
49:30
Not being that's associated with the experience brings us the most warmth, the most joy. And we sign our mind to this. This is what we call the good person. But like I said, it can be a creature.:
Speaker 2:
49:49
Okay.:
Speaker 1:
49:50
May I be well,:
Speaker 2:
49:53
okay.:
Speaker 1:
49:54
May they be happy, may they find peace of mind. Many of us find this possible. It's so out of a mood by holding in mind that being, that brings you the most joy, the most warmth, the most happiness or has done or is associated with the experience that brought it to you.:
Speaker 4:
50:28
May I be well, may I be happy? May they find peace of mind and so now bring to mind a neutral person.:
Speaker 3:
50:45
Okay?:
Speaker 4:
50:46
Neutral person is somebody whose name you don't know, but who you can bring to mind. You might be able to visualize their face or just the sense of who they are. It could be a neighbor, it could be an acquaintance, could be a coworker. It could be somebody that works in a sharp bus driver, somebody you bump into, whatever it happens to be and you haven't formed an opinion of them.:
Speaker 3:
51:13
Okay.:
Speaker 4:
51:13
Whether you like them or dislike them and you sign your mind, may they be well, may they be happy, right? I find peace of mind. This is for the neutral person. Might I be well, may they be happy, right? They find peace of mind.:
Speaker 3:
51:42
Okay,:
Speaker 4:
51:43
and now you bring to mind a difficult person. Initially, not your arch enemy initially begin baby steps. Somebody who's done something unhelpful, thoughtless, inconsiderate, whatever it happens to be.:
Speaker 3:
52:02
Okay.:
Speaker 4:
52:03
Living in a city of 8 million people, it's not difficult to bring someone to mind as a role and you sign your mind. May they be well? Might I be happy? May they find peace of mind. If you can do this for someone who's offended you, it's a wonderful way of releasing that, right? I'd be well, right? They be happy. May they find peace of mind.:
Speaker 3:
52:42
Yeah,:
Speaker 4:
52:43
and now bring to mind your image of yourself. However you see your self image in the mirror, however you see yourself as other people see you. Whatever you look like in your favorite selfie. None of it matters. However you see yourself, you sign your mind. My I be well, may I be happy my I find peace of mind.:
Speaker 3:
53:23
Okay,:
Speaker 1:
53:27
and again, bring to mind the good person or the being that brings you joy, a warmth and happiness inside your mind. May I be well, may I be happy, right? I find peace of mind. Noticing the sensation of sitting and breathing and gently return your attention. So the room:
Speaker 1:
54:23
clarity is the capacity to see what's intervening between you and your happiness. Happiness is a sense of fulfillment from the neutral present moment. So what we've done here is we brought in the neutral person and they are a metaphor or a metaphor for most of the people that you'll encounter in your life. A neutral people jumping on the bus, drive down the road. It's full of neutral people, you know, the light limital dislike and notice what's happening. Well, emotions it brings when you wish them well. What it's doing is it's letting you know if your fellow man is intervening between you and your happiness, how you perceive them, and then assign thing with a difficult person. When you do the mantra for the difficult person, what's happening? Is your mood elevated or as your mood depressed? What's your body telling you? It's not lying. And then similarly with yourself, and the first time I did this Aki awful.:
Speaker 1:
55:40
Yeah, I'm doing really well. Yeah. Failing these positive vibes towards difficult people. I myself, nothing. In fact, less than nothing. I don't. I'm helpful perspective of myself and all it says is guidance. Anything unsatisfactory in your life. I mean, you know, obviously if he's just pulled down the stairs, right? It's unsatisfactory. Okay, but if you're carrying with you the resentment about how the stairs are laid out, that's you and it feels bad. It's telling you something. We try to be too smart about our experience specially if as a suffering and emotion that's following you around, it's trying to tell you something. The thing is telling you is that how you perceive it or the thing that's related to it is intervene in between you and your happiness. And the answer is to ask, is it absolutely true? Is it absolutely true that the stairs are unsatisfactorily laid out? And if that doesn't work as a supplementary question, which is even if it is absolutely true, does it really matter? Is it true? Does it matter? A lot less matters than we think matters. Start with the baby stuff, the little things. Observe them. Notice your body responding to the resentment, the frustration, the irritation, the unsatisfactoriness, whatever it might happen at the bay. It's a message. How true is it? Whatever it is that you believe that's causing you feel like that. And even if it is true, does it really matter? Is it more important than you being happy right now?:
Speaker 1:
57:40
Yeah. This is going to come back now pretty, pretty consistently. There will be some things and those things, they're there for you to learn that there are the things that you need to change about yourself and about what you're doing. Never about anybody else can't change anyone else can only change yourself. But before we get there, there's a mountain of unsatisfactoriness that we need to extract the goodness from get the the beauty and the infinite variety of the present moment from:
Speaker 2:
58:16
okay:
Speaker 1:
58:17
in a nutshell is gratitude.:
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