Fear, Anxiety, and the Emotional Side of Growing Up

Growing up comes with layers no one really prepares you for.

In this episode, we dive into the emotional side of life transitions and how the ups, the downs, and everything in between start to shape the way we think and feel. We talk about anxiety and how it shows up uninvited, even when life looks “fine” on the outside.

We reflect on how the way we navigate life has shifted over time. Who we were in college, how we handled stress back then, and how different it feels now as more responsibility, awareness, and fear enter the picture.

We get into the fears that start to surface as we grow. The fear of losing the things we love, the fear of death, and even the fears we’ve carried with us since childhood. We talk about what anxiety actually does to the mind and body, and how our bodies try to process and release what we don’t always understand.

This is one of those conversations that reminds you how human this experience really is. The vulnerability of being alive, the discomfort of not always having answers, and the work it takes to look inward and understand what’s really going on beneath the surface.

If you’ve been feeling this way, you’re not alone.

We hope that this conversation makes you feel seen, supported, and part of a community that is navigating it all together.

Wait… what’s next?

Wait... What's Next? 

Host: Laura Alba 
Co-Host: Amanda Brilhante
Executive Producer: Lauren Atkinson

Instagram: @waitwhatsnextpod, @lauraalbaz & @amandakbril

Email:  waitwhatsnextpod@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Big What Next. This is the podcast for anybody who's going through any transitions in between moments and just experiencing the changes of life. In this episode, we get into the ups and downs of what it's like to grow up and the different types of anxiety that comes with that. I do want to give a little bit of a disclaimer because we talk about childhood trauma, anxiety, panic attack, and if this is something that is driving for anybody, we will be talking about this topic. We hope to reach anybody who is experiencing the same type of situation. We speak from a point of experience in how we navigate our own fears and our own trauma. How we just accept it and heal from within to be able to move forward and keep being able to enjoy life. This conversation is for the ups and downs of life. For those who are happy with their in-between moments, but also the little things that come and go, external or internal, that we are all navigating through. I hope you sit down and feel like you are talking to two more friends who are just discussing life and the realities of it, and it helps you navigate it better. Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

I don't know, it's been really hard to get up in the morning ever since my time changed. I know it's only one hour. I used to get up in the morning. I love working out in the morning, but ever since the time change, I cannot get up. The thought of getting up like makes me want to throw up. And I'm like, I need to sleep. So I've been having to work out in the afternoon, which is not ideal. It's not fun.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

I actually work out in the afternoon. Like anytime between 11 to 1:30.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

No working out. That's the beauty of working from home, though. I used to do that too. I love working from home, having slow mornings, jumping to work, eating breakfast, and then after two hours at one, that's when I will work out too. And it was just perfect.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

4 p.m. is too late for me. I'm so sorry. I was like looking behind me. Benny was I could hear his toy, but he has been relentless lately. Like he's in his teenage years, and it's hard. Like in his wild years. His uh, what's it called? Oh my gosh. What are teenagers when they're three defiant?

SPEAKER_02 2:46

No, he's in his defiant. It's so funny. I don't know, I will keep this, but with my previous co-host, I used to talk about kids, and she had a three-year-old, she will call him three major because it's kind of like they're being wild, but they're also babies. And with yours, your baby, your dog in a different type of way. It's the same. You need to get one. I need to get one of one in one. A turtle? Yeah, just get something. No, I need a dog. Don't get me wrong. I'm this close to get one. But really? I don't know if I'm gonna start troubling or if my license can just flip 180 at any point. I don't wanna have one and then be like, okay, mom, buy your have a child now, you know. So I I need to wait it out. But Noah's mom just got a dog, a golden retriever. She adopted one, and it's one of those really, really pretty ones. Oh super cute. And I just met him last weekend. He was the cutest thing. I literally was with him, and I was like, I need to get a dog. The biggest dog fever.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

It's definitely work, but it's worth it. I also waited until it slowed down a little bit for me. I knew I couldn't get a dog the last four or five years, but when I moved here, I'm fully remote and I have somebody to help when I do travel. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

You're literally in your best case scenario. I need to be fully remote to be any type of mom. Those are my those are my requirements. So you're alone? Your boyfriend is travelling the whole weekend. Yeah, he left Wednesday night.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

What are your plans while he's away? I have plans with some girlfriends, but also clean the apartment. I have to girly fly it. I went to Trader Joe's, I got two plants. I'll probably go out again and get more plants. A plant for every day he's gone. That's what I said.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

That's so cute. Once you live with somebody, you have those moments where you're alone and then you kind of go back to roots and you're like, okay, what do I need to do here?

SPEAKER_01 4:41

For me though, I watch my shows. I am uninterrupted. I get a cuddle Benny and nobody takes his attention from me. I'm the center of his universe, so it's great.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Speaking of which, which shows are you watching right now? I was coming in hot because I only work half days on Friday. So I came home and I was having my breakfast and I started watching a show, but I want to know which ones you're watching, and I'm fire up, ready to jump into it.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

But I was I was gonna ask you first. I am binging Bridgerton, and I know I'm behind the curve because everyone already saw it. Have you seen it? Oh, I've seen it all. I binge Bridgerton so much. It's the kind of show that leaves me in the best mood. Yeah, I'm in season three right now. I you have to say the sexy scenes are a little bit too much for me, and I have started to fast forward through them because I just I don't care to watch that.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

That's not why I'm here. Oh my god, we can literally get on a whole conversation about this because I always say Bridgerton has such a really good plot and such a good storyline. You don't need to go into the sex scenes, like you can tell us or you can allude to them, but this is my biggest argument with shows. However, I never feel cringe with Bridgerton. You know which show makes me uncomfortable where I do have to fast forward. Tell me lies. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

Yeah, I think it's because the show is already uncomfortable. Oh, I haven't watched it. I had started it and I think I maybe got through part of an episode. I'm kind of weird with shows. If I'm not in the right headspace to watch a show, I won't watch it. Like I tried to watch Bridgerton years ago, and I stopped within the first five or ten minutes and thought it was weird and boring. Um watching three seasons. Yeah. Interesting. I think I was just not in the right headspace.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

Maybe. I was gonna say Bridgerton is one of those shows where I can just watch anytime because you make me feel good. It's like Emily and Paris, The Summer Night Trump Freddy, Tell Me Lies is the kind of show that if I'm in a very negative headspace, I cannot watch the show because it's very, very toxic and kind of dark. But Amanda, you don't know toxic until you try to watch the show. I mean, you really think you experience toxic until you're like, wow. And the saddest thing too is I watched some of the comments about the show, and people are like, oh, I can totally relate. And I'm just like, guys, what is going on here? It's super toxic. So I think you're in a really happy stage right now in your life. So you can watch it and not relate at all. But I think it will be pretty triggering.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Laura, you know, it's crazy as I have had somebody recommend that I watch that show because of my dating past and because of what I went through, because I would relate to it and understand. My friend texted me and literally was like, if you want to see our exes play down on TV, go watch that show. Because she was in a similar situation.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

I think your homework now, Amanda, is to go and watch the show, and we're gonna have a full episode of just talking about it, doing a recap. I will. Speaking of shows that are intense and anxiety-inducing, we are gonna talk about a very interesting little topic that has been showing up in the recent years. Amanda, I'm gonna let you introduce.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

I feel like we need the key to the theme song that's always on TikTok, like anxiety. She's always watching me. Yeah, we're gonna talk about anxiety because talking about these shows makes me think about how I felt years ago, which was a different set of anxiety because it was relationship induced. But Laura, I don't know about you. I feel like I have anxiety that came out of nowhere in my late 20s, and I was not an anxious person, and all of a sudden I was anxious about things that never bothered me before.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Okay, I love this because you and a couple over the actually, all of our roommates, I don't think anybody really experienced anxiety. And you brought up the relationship anxiety and all of those things in your 20s, and that is a different type of fear. I mean, it's it's caused by them, but also you kind of trigger it because you're back and forth. Once that is gone, it goes away, so you sleep well at night. However, this type of anxiety that you have experienced and I recently have experienced in the past few years, which I sort of mentioned in past episodes, it hits different. It's something that I never experienced before. It came out of nowhere, other than being heartbroken and having to move forward from that. Anxiety has been one other layer in my life that I had to step back and see what was going on because it was very, very out of my zone and it very, very triggering.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I'm trying to think about when I had my first panic attack too, because that was another part of it that became, in your words, triggering and just a complete shock. Because as somebody who never really had anxiety growing up, I mean, I work in public speaking, like I work in a field that requires you to be able to be cool, calm, and collected. I think I was 28 when I had my first panic attack. And I didn't know what it was at all. It was summer, and then in December or maybe January following that. So about six months later, I had my second one. I think it was my third one when I realized that my second one was actually a panic attack and that my first one was a panic attack. I didn't know what it was. And the first one I had, I was scuba diving, but I'm dive certified. I have been scuba diving many times. I love it, I enjoy it, I have no reason to freak out. And we were going down, and all of a sudden I felt like I was gonna pass out and I couldn't breathe. And so I went back up, I recollected myself, I went back down. That was my first one. My second one, I was at a it might have been Super Bowl. It was either a football game or a Super Bowl party. So yeah, it was like six months later, January, February. And I was with all of my friends, some new friends, but people that I had known for a while. And we were all standing around my friend's parents' kitchen and talking, and I needed fresh air. I just felt like I was getting lightheaded, my body was getting tingly, I was getting like pinhole vision where I couldn't really, I could only focus on something, but also not at all. And I went outside for fresh air. I just couldn't talk and I stood there and calmed down and I thought I was just being weird. Maybe I had gone out that weekend and had some anxiety. I don't remember exactly what I blamed it on, but it wasn't until I had my third one that I was like, okay, this is what I think it is. And then after that, it became constant. Like I had one in my job interview for my current job. I had a panic attack, which is crazy. Yeah, I was sitting there. I was about maybe a quarter, almost a half into my interview. And it was on the 32nd floor, looking at the freedom pools in New York. And it hit me and I was freaking out. And like the mental image of me, I feel like I was sitting there gripping my arms on my chair. The person that interviewed me had no idea because I've talked to my manager, former manager about it. She had no idea because I straight up told her afterwards, after I was hired. But I have no idea what they were asking me. I have no idea what I said. I know whatever I said must have impressed them, but I was so in my own head and feeling that rising anxiety and panic that I can't tell you.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Yeah. Somehow you were able to function what you were having a panic attack?

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Yeah. Luckily for me, my panic attacks don't completely take me out of being able to function because there's all different kinds, right? Like some people do hyperventilate more or kind of close in on themselves. And most of the time I can still function, but I am on edge. And like the last panic attack I had, I didn't have one for a while. It had been a solid eight months. Sometimes flights triggered a little bit for me. Most of the time, flights do. But I was sitting on the couch in my apartment with my boyfriend. And I looked at him and I was like, I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. And then like 10 minutes later, I was like, okay, I'm having one. I like couldn't feel my arms. I was like bugging. I felt like I was dying, like, yeah, out of nowhere. And he was like, What is it? And I was like, No idea. I wasn't thinking. We were watching TV. That's so interesting.

SPEAKER_02 13:29

Okay, I kind of want to break this down a little bit and then I'll share my story. Then we'll find patterns. Because one, we want to touch on the difference between our twinities and now and what that anxiety and panic attack looked like, and then kind of go back into the roots of it. Because I had to do a lot of soul searching to see where this was coming from. One thing that I want to say, Amanda, having a panic attack under the water must be the most anxiety inducing situation. I don't even know how you even handle keeping it calm. I would have been so unwilling.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

I would have passed out or died. I am so glad that I didn't really know what it was because it was my first one. Well, maybe it would have been okay if I did know because I would have been able to talk myself out of it, right? Which is part of talking about ways that you've been able to handle it. But yeah, I just was immediately like, get me up. And then once I can breathe, I was fine.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

Was there anything that you remember patterns, thoughts, feelings that you might had prior of the panic attacks? You said that you've had it a few times now. Is there anything that when you go back and you kind of think of it, you can relay and start building up patterns?

SPEAKER_01 14:54

The biggest thing that I've been able to boil it down to, and I feel like I'm still on this journey of understanding what's exactly causing it, is kind of a hyper awareness of everything I would have to lose. And I think that, you know, when you're younger, you don't think as much about this stuff. When you're in your 20s, you're reckless and fun and you're enjoying life, right? How many times did you sit back in your early 20s and think, oh, maybe this is a bigger risk? It's the same thing with like going on a roller coaster, right? But I feel like at some point I became super aware of everything I had. But I think part of that was because I really started to like everything I had. Because there was a large part of my 20s when my emotions were wrapped up in a really toxic relationship. And I think that so much of my emotions were on that. Like if you have a bag of Skittles and the Skittles are your anxiety, all of them were over there. So I wasn't really having the effects elsewhere. And I'm sure there was some rewiring with my brain when I got out of that relationship that maybe had a long-term effect. But more importantly, when I got out of it, I was happy and I was living life and I reclaimed a lot of who I was, what I was doing. And then I think I was actually enjoying life. But I also know that a lot of us have kind of got this anxiety as we've gotten older. And I think that part of it really is just our brains maturing and like I said, being able to recognize where we're at in life and how much we can lose and how easy it is to lose it. But what about you? What about patterns that you've been able to see?

SPEAKER_02 16:32

I think you're right on point when you say something about realization of growing up. I think that moment when you're like, wow, I just went from a kid to an adult. I never felt like an adult in my 20s. I think I it's really in the recent years that I felt that life just really got a little bit more serious, and now I'm in charge. So I think that's one. But my experience was completely different. However, I think that you pinpoint your fear, which was one finally getting into a point in your life where you were able to relax. And maybe you have been holding on to this anxiety for so long. People say that once you relax, those things kind of like are able to come out. And it's like a way of your body releasing so much tension that you probably held in the past years. And the reason why I'm bringing this up is because my realization from my anxiety had the same thing, but it was actually from childhood trauma. Okay, let me tell you the story, and then I'll just back up a little bit on what I learned. On 2022, my grandma sadly passed, and it was very, very I don't know where. It was kind of like those things where she was here today, and then three days later she wasn't there anymore. Nobody was expecting it. So when it happened, it was shocking. I think I was 29. So I think around the same time when you got your first panic attack. And it was May. We were sad, we grieved, and kind of just slowly started moving forward. I mean, just the sadness broadness and all of that, which I'm not gonna get into. But I thought it was a time that I did process it, and you know, the year went by, and September of that year comes around. And I remember I was having dinner with my mom. I don't know why I had a thought in that dinner of like, what if something weird happens tonight? You know, something like that. It was just like those random thoughts, and I was like, this is weird. Keep in mind this was what, like six months later. I went to bed, and then I woke up around like one or two, and I remember waking up and feeling very, very out of my body. It felt very like something's odd, like something's weird. And it was, I just woke up. I do remember having a thought of my grandma, like thinking of her in the dream. She would always sit in this specific place in an apartment. We used to live next to each other, so I will see her every day before I go to work. And I remember having that image and walking by and thinking to myself, why didn't I just stop and kiss her or hugged her more? I had that thought and I woke up with that thought. And then I felt this, I would say like it's out of body experience, uh, disassociation from your body. And I was like, no, something's up. So I immediately kind of got scared and I got up and I got out of my room and went to look for my mom. And poor thing. I woke her up and I was like, Mom, something's off. Something's off. Like I couldn't tell what it was, and just like you said, I had no idea what panic attacks were. I had never experienced anxiety, never. And I know this is hard because some people have lived with anxiety their whole lives, but I didn't even know because never felt that. So I remember sitting in her bed feeling unease. And my mom tried to ask me and I couldn't explain what it was. All of a sudden, I look to the side and I feel that my vision is kind of closing. And my heart and I'm feeling really hot. And my mom was trying to, she was like, Can you cover yourself? Because she she felt my skin and she said that I was freezing, but I feel like I was really hot. And I literally look at my mom because you know your heart starts beating really fast and you can't breathe. And I look at my mom and I was like, Mom, I think I'm dying. Like I straight up said that to my mom. Imagine my poor mom at three in the morning. This woman was like, What's going on? And so she goes, Oh my god, don't say that. Like, should I call 911? And I was like, Please call 911. But I remember just feeling like I'm losing it. I'm like, I'm going out, I'm going. I'm going. That's how I feel. I am looking at the light of the tunnel. And not so funny. No, not for the colour.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

But it's like I've been there. Like their first panic attack, you really just don't know.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

No, it literally feels like that. And so my mom grabs her phone. She's freaking out. I'm seeing her, and then she's like, right there. She cannot dial the phone. All of a sudden, like, I can't even handle it anymore. She's trying to dial. I looked at her and I'm desperate, like trying to get help. So I just grab her phone and I dial 911 and I call, they respond, and I'm like, I think I'm having an emergency. But that emotion of having to dial the phone and having to explain the person on the phone what was happening to me all me out. It kind of pulled me away from that vicious cycle where I was going. And so when I was explaining to him, I started to feel in my body again. And of course, the the paramedics came in, the ambulance, all of this crazy stuff. And they walked in and the guys took my vitals and they were like, it seems like what you had was a panic attack. And I was like, You're like, what? Like, what's going on here? I don't know what a panic attack is. He's like, no, no, those are coming. He's just talking normal. He's like, you have nothing to worry about. I'm like, sir. I literally felt like I died and came back to life. It was very, very Very interesting. I honestly feel like I experienced what it dying will feel like. But apparently, I've done a lot of research. When you die, you don't even feel like that. And so when you actually are dying, the fact that you research that, dude, because you know what happens, what anxiety is, is that after a panic attack, you start having anxiety of having a panic attack.

unknown 22:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

So I do that. That creates an anxiety. So for me, knowing gives me the facts and it helps me navigate those negative thoughts. So that happened. And I was like, okay, this happened. The next day I was fine. And I think I just moved forward with my life. But I started waking up at 3 a.m. in the morning with that same feeling. It's just that I never let it get there again. I've always done like meditation. So I really doubled down on meditation, doing all that. And it wasn't until 2024, like a year later. You're right, like a year later. So what did happen a few times is that at 3 a.m. in the morning, every time at the same time, I would wake up from a dream. And waking up from the dream, like that process of waking up would be inducing to like anxiety, which is so weird because most of the people get a panic attack during the day. Like you kind of trigger it with your thoughts. So for me, it was like, where is this coming from? It's not like I'm awake, I'm just waking up into this headspace. And I just started to control it. I was able to just breathe, feel my body. And the thing that I know was triggering for me was hearing my heartbeat like going so fast. And so I was like, okay, I need to calm it down. And so I started meditating. I found these meditations that are related with breathing. And so because your breathing is everything, it really helps you calm down, even when you're having those moments of very like high anxiety. So I started doing research on that. Next year comes by. I wasn't anxious during the day, though. I want to clarify that. Like I will get at nighttime. The next day I will wake up and I won't forget about it. Because you know, when you wake up from a bad dream and you just forget the next day, it was kind of like that. And I remember 2024, I woke up at four and I got that little anxiety moment. And then the rest of the day, I was so anxious, Amanda. The whole day. I was just, oh my god, what is going on? Like super hyper aware of sound, everything. And it was just, it like linger. The anxiety kind of started and lingered into like my day-to-day. And I remember that's when I went to the doctor, and I was like, something's wrong. Like, is it my hormones? Like, what's going on? And she made me feel so uncomfortable because it was a horrible doctor, and she wasn't like trying to help me. She was like, You have nothing, like, there's nothing wrong with you. And like when they say that to you, it's even worse. And so that's why I took matters into my hand and I started not doing a little research. But that's basically my story.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

When doctors do that, it's just not okay because one, it's discrediting how you feel, but two, when you're having a panic attack, it feels so real. Like, even when I know that I'm having one, I still have to question if I'm going to die. Like, it's still not fun.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

It's so crazy. So now that we touch into that, you talk a little bit about the patterns. Is there anything else that you kind of were able to narrow down as to what was the root and cause of them, or you're kind of still navigating what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 25:38

I think I'm still navigating it. I know one cause is definitely the frequency that I travel. And I've I never had flight anxiety. You could put me on a plane anywhere and I was fine. And that was one of the things that spiked when I started having panic attacks and this anxiety is I started having flight anxiety. And I mostly only get it when I'm on the plane, not really leading up into the flight, unless it's a really long flight, then I'll get some of it before. But same thing. I think that one is like the fear of something going wrong and my life ending before they obviously have all these plans I want to do and all these big things and big pictures and marriage and kids and all that. So I think the fear of that being cut short, even though I know it's out of my control. And and I try to talk myself out of it. I do the jello on a plane theory. I do the pretend like you're in a bus and there are potholes. And I do do breathing exercises. I do the five like senses. So what do you see here? Oh my god, we've gone through the same things. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I've full on like done different researches too on how to combat it, talk to my therapist about it when I had one, all of that. But I think a lot of it is still figuring out the patterns because, like I said, the one that I got when I was on the couch here in my apartment could not tell you what it came from. Out of no way. Really? Nope. Out of nowhere. I have no idea. And some of them were also triggering from being around sick family members, similar to you. I think that that definitely can trigger things, especially when you're older. But you know, sometimes I just don't know. Sometimes I'm still like, what is happening?

SPEAKER_02 27:25

I definitely absolutely know where it's coming from now, from all the soul searching that I did. Because again, when you go from not having that type of dynamic in your life, and you have like a very normal, calm life, having to deal with that, you know what is normal. And then you're like, no, I need to go back to being like that. And so that became kind of like my obsession. But at the same time, it's one of those things where because it becomes an obsession, it almost is more triggering because you're trying to feel normal again. And so I one had to come to the realization that maybe my new normal wasn't that, it was different, and maybe that there was some like a soul growth that I was having that I needed to allow to happen for them to kind of just dissipate. But one thing that I mentioned in the beginning, which was trauma, I think when I was very young, when I was a kid, and I want you to think of this while I'm telling the story like what was the biggest fear that you had when you were little? Because when I was very little, my first memories, I wasn't scared, I was terrified to sleep alone. And another thing that I always tell my mom, and I don't know why they do this in Colombia, my school was massive. It's like huge school, combined of high school and middle school. Whenever there was a student that would pass away, which didn't happen often, it would happen like it happened like twice when I was there, they would always bring their coffin and then put the student in their library, and the students could like give their respects. I was eight years old, and I remember that being the most terrifying thing that I could experience because I was like, oh my god, there's like a dead person in our library right now. And I remember not being able to sleep when I was a kid because of that. And so when these happened again in the middle of the night, it was the same type of fear. And I came to that realization later, and I was like, oh my god, I'm having that fear that I had when I was eight years old or like five years old of like sleeping alone in like death. Fears don't go anywhere, they just evolve with you, and then they just appear in a different type of form as you're an adult, and now it's just as big as like my life, right? Like before it was a fear of a child who doesn't want to sleep alone, and now it's like a fear of losing everything, a fear of death, and a fear of growing up. Like all of those things obviously grow. I had to work through that fear because it was not gonna go away. And kind of like facing the fear rather than running from it, because then it's just gonna be chasing me. And that realization actually changed a lot of stuff, and I haven't experienced that again, where I wake up at nighttime and I don't feel anxiety. I do feel anxiety sometimes when I'm overwhelmed about work or when there's a lot of things going on, and I can't feel it like, okay, I need to calm down because this is gonna affect my sleep. But I do remember having that breakthrough of wow, I need to heal this fear that I had as a child because it's clearly showing up again as an adult.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I think part of my fear, because you told me to think about it while you were sharing that story, it's the same thing that I still have, which is I was always afraid of like natural disasters or death, which is still the same thing. But I've definitely, similar to you, learned to accept it instead of fight it or expect it to just go away. And hopefully one day it goes away. I do think maybe as we get older, it might be a little bit easier to navigate or maybe be less frequent. But I've definitely accepted and more so tried to identify when I start to feel it because it helps me get out of it. If you can tell your brain that you're having the panic attack, your brain tends to work its way out of it quicker than if you get wrapped up in the panic attack and then just think that you're dying or having, you know, you're feeling the physical symptoms. And so your brain's responding to that instead of being like, okay, this is what's happening right now. My brain is doing this, it's just part of what's happening, and I'm gonna be okay. That's even what I do on flights. My fear was definitely it's definitely the same, unfortunately. And those are fears that you really can't escape. Like, it's just part of life.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Is this what every adult feels and nobody cheer with us until we actually get there? I want to learn from this. So if you guys are listening, please let us know. Is this a norm? Because why nobody told us that's this was gonna happen. I love that you said it's good to recognize and put it a name, like, oh, this is a panic attack because that's how your brain works. I actually heard a fun fact. If you have panic attacks and if you have a gummy, you know, those sweet and sour gummies, it's really good to put what immediately in your mouth because the sourness will make all of your attention go into your mouth, basically, and it'll pull you away from your panic attack. And I'll say, wow, that's a really, really interesting way to do it. So that's a pro tip.

SPEAKER_01 32:43

Let me try that next time.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

Do it, have gummies that I really want to know what you do because it makes sense, like it triggers your brain to go somewhere else because it's so intense. And another thing is I love what you said about culling it and then just being able to calm yourself down. Something that also has helped me is disassociation, the actual word. And again, I came to this conclusion on my own. Like, okay, disassociate is like you kind of associate from your body, like you kind of pull away from your body, and the more you pull away, the more your vitals kind of get affected because you're not feeling in your body. That's something huge that I learned. You need to get back into your body when you're feeling things are out of control. I remember feeling super scared when my heartbeat was beating fast because that's the first sign, right? Like your heartbeat beats fast. And so now what I do, which is kind of crazy, but I'm telling you, face your fear. Now, what I do is when I'm feeling that, I literally concentrate on my heart. Like I seal it, and the moment I concentrate in my heart, it slows down. I stop the disassociation and I'm back in my body. And then I look at my feet too, because I'm like, okay, my mind, my body, I'm where I'm standing, and it brings me back. And that's what also has helped me get it into that head space. So it's very interesting. The mind is just crazy.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

The mind is crazy, the way the brain works, and listening to you share one of the ways that you get through it. I definitely realize that when I can relax, it helps me a little bit because obviously when your adrenaline is spiking, you tend to tense up, you know, your shoulders come in, you're very tight. And I find that if you can relax, you know, sit with your feet planted, crossing your legs makes it worse, or at least for me, it does, because it changes the way that your butt blood flows. So I usually, if my legs are crossed and I start to feel it if I uncross my legs, it can kind of help. And then like having your arms relax, like having your shoulders relaxed, just being in a position where you're not fighting the feeling helps it go through a little bit quicker. I do think I hold a lot of stress. I think that's kind of normal for people our age. I mean, we have jobs and or we're looking for jobs, and partners are looking for partners and just everything every single day. Yeah. It's a lot. Like, I definitely function with high stress levels. And every once in a while it slams into me where I am like, oh my gosh, I do not feel good because I've been doing this for so long without a constant break. And I think that's also really important to give yourself the time to breathe. Otherwise, you probably will end up in a bad place. And, you know, not everyone, but I definitely think a lot of us do, and talking to friends about their experiences and oh, we're not the only ones. I know that, you know, I definitely want to hear from everyone on if they got random anxiety in their late 20s. But just from talking from friends, I know that a good amount of them have as well for different reasons.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

I think sharing is caring. And sometimes people hold that pain and carry it on their own. And it's so important to understand once you know that other people are going through it, it does feel like that sense of community, knowing that, oh, I'm just as human as everyone else. I'm not having this odd experience that no one else is doing, and you don't feel isolated. You do feel like, okay, I can relate, we can talk about it. And sometimes even talking about it and letting it out is like a self-therapy. But I love that you thought in a very different layer too. How in the time of anxiety or like panic attack, how we navigate pulling yourself out of that mindset. But I love that you touch on an extra layer, which is before you even get to a panic attack, the panic attack is the end result of something that has been cooking, right? It's anxiety that has been building up, and then your body needs to release it. I love that you said what is triggering. And I think I am at that level too, where now I know when I'm holding anxiety in when I'm living different situations and events and stresses that I'm kind of taking in and not releasing. And I have to stuff myself down and be like, okay, I need to do something right now because I am stressed, and it's gonna start building up and gonna end up where I don't want to be, being super self-aware. I think it's really important. Of we all have stress. I think that to say, don't be stressed, it's the worst freaking advice, and we need to cancel the fun thing because you telling me to not be stressed gets me so stressed.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

That's impossible.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

I don't know, uh, my boyfriend. If I'm ever not chill and you tell me to chill, I am not gonna chill. I'm gonna get so incredibly crazy. So please do not use the same word. Same thing applies here. You just gotta relax. It's like it's really hard to relax when you know something's up. So, what I would say is more like monitor your feelings, what's going on around you, and be self-aware. Say it aloud. Oh, this situation is stressing me out. What do I need to do about it? And navigate it in a way that you start releasing all of the stress right at the time rather than holding it back and then just having to deal with a panic attack. Because I do think a panic attack is just telling that you have been holding back. I don't know, that's like my humble opinion. But I do love that we have a few pro tips that we have experienced and that have worked for us, and hopefully people can use that in their advantage and know that they're not alone.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

Do you ever think back to being in college and being younger before you had anxiety and it's kind of like, dang, I miss those days. I miss when I didn't care as much.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

It's so weird, I mean that because I really love my life now and love my life in college. And I know you do too. There's no an aunt of me that wants to go back to college, even though it was really fun, it was the best time of my life. I don't want to go back there. What I do think now is like, how did I not panic attack the next day after drinking so much tequila shuts the night before? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:02

How did I just not panic then? I missed not having the panic. I knew I missed not having the anxiety or just normal anxiety. I mean, I guess that there's some beauty in having increased anxiety because you have more to lose and because you are happier with your life. It's a little bit of a double-edged sword, right? Because you have more because you like more, then you have more to lose, and there's a bigger risk, we're still in a better place ultimately. And maybe that's the focus. Maybe panic attacks are really just a good thing and a reminder that you are in a good place. Maybe not for everyone, but less normalized panic attacks.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

If you're having them, you're in a good place. Yeah. Oh my god. Listen, you gotta laugh it out. Sometimes when we put humor on things that are scary, it makes it less big than they actually are. Ultimately, it does come down to having more to lose when I finally got into a very healthy relationship. I was obsessing a little bit about, you know, I'm gonna lose this relationship that I look forward to. It happens sometimes with my job. Like I really like my job right now, while I think that I still am looking for better opportunities. And with all of the things that I have in my life and I'm able to experience because of my job. Sometimes I get home and I think, oh my god, does my boss even like me? So you kind of get those little anxieties. And it's true. Why am I even worried? Who cares? I am living it right now. Nobody can promise you tomorrow, not a job, not a relationship, or even waking up the next day. So I think it's very crazy that we continue allowing these fears to come to us when there's just so much to live for. Being self-aware is good, they're not gonna go away.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

But I just think that being able to navigate them, it's what's helpful. I agree about navigating it because you don't want to let the anxiety and the fear stop you from doing the things that you love. And it can be tempting. Yeah. Who wants to feel that way? So why not eliminate the source? But at the same time, if you were able to enjoy it before and you know it's something you like, then focus on that and hopefully we can all take the steps to get there. Yeah, we all do it together.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

This was really fun though, just to recap, to be able to navigate anxiety. I think one good pointer is to realize that it is anxiety and to address it because that does something to your brain and help you navigate it better to do more relaxing things in the day-to-day. Don't just wait until you have anxiety. I think for me that helps me a lot. Like I have a meditation routine, like working out is very anxiety or releasing for me. I also go on walks in nature. Nature is huge for me. Having a sunlight, do all those things, drinking water, fix your physical side too. What is physically affecting you and making you tense? Get rid of that because the physical is probably easier than navigating your mind. Once your physical body is a little bit more relaxed, and you can go into your mind and be more meditation and do things that help you wind down. We talked about skincare last week. I think a skincare is a moment where you just do it for yourself. It's a moment of peace, it's a moment of slowing down. So doing all those little routines and things that make you feel better, I think those things compound is gonna help for the anxiety as a whole.

SPEAKER_01 42:33

The only thing I would add to that is talk to someone. And if you don't have someone to talk to, talk to us.

SPEAKER_02 42:39

We're here. Talk to us. We're right here. We're right here. I do want to have a question for you. It's fun, it's a fun question. Okay. To make this light a little bit. What's your most random anxiety trigger? Something you know how people are, oh my god, your email phone me and well, what is yours?

SPEAKER_01 42:56

Well, now that I have a dog, it's whether or not he ate something and he's gonna throw up later in most mornings. I'm like, am I gonna wake up to throw up today? But besides that, this is so random, but maybe where to fit in my workouts? And what time am I gonna go to the gym? Oh my god, it stresses me out.

SPEAKER_02 43:17

I'm not even kidding, Amanda. That's my I will literally show you my notes in my notebook, but I take notes on my day-to-day. I went to work today. I schedule as a to-do list, sit down and organize your week because I am so tired of trying to figure out if I want to work out in the morning or in the afternoon. So I'm like, I need to write this down and just follow through. I literally did that today. That's funny. Well, I feel your pain. So oh my god, because it's like I'm tired. I much rather be making decisions on something else than just sitting here. If I just don't plan it well, I'm not gonna execute. And I'm just gonna be in my mind lingering the whole time. Okay, no, we're on the same page here. Well, next week I'll ask you about how your list went, your to-do list. My to-do list today?

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Yeah. I'll ask you next week though and figure out where your workout routine landed.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Okay. I have a workout routine right now that I can share, and then maybe next week I can say you keep me accountable.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

I'll ask you.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 44:19

Good plan. You also have a routine though. Nope. I just go when I have a free time in my day. And then I think about what I did yesterday and what I did the day before. And then I figure out what I'm gonna work out that day. So we'll talk about this later. We'll figure it out later.

SPEAKER_02 44:35

We'll talk about this later. Okay, and then you want to tell us where they can find us?

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Oh my gosh. I would love to do the honors. You can find us on Spotify, on Apple, at Wait What's Next, and as well connect with us on Oh my god, I almost said LinkedIn. I'm just going to use to connect on LinkedIn, on Instagram, TikTok, at Wait What's Next Pod. Did I miss anything?

SPEAKER_02 44:59

No, just YouTube, which we're slowly getting there too. There is places where you guys can reach out and talk to us. Let us know what you think about the podcast. We're always evolving, always open to hear your comments and concerns. Just keep the conversation going. So we'll talk to you guys next week. See you next week.

unknown 45:18

Bye.