Coachella Recap, Bieber Fever & The Lessons We’re Taking With Us

In this episode, we’re catching up on everything. A full Coachella recap, the energy, the moments, and yes… the Bieber fever that had everyone talking. But beyond the fun, we come back to real life and sit with what actually stayed with us.

We revisit our conversation with Morgan Wijay and break down the relationship lessons, personal growth, and emotional shifts that hit deeper than expected. The habits you build when you feel strong, the way relationships shape who you become, and the realization that no matter how different our stories look, we’re all navigating similar transitions underneath it all.

This episode blends culture, life updates, and honest conversations about growth, relationships, and self-awareness. It’s about taking moments that feel light and fun, and turning them into something that actually moves you forward.

If you’re navigating life changes, relationship shifts, or simply trying to understand yourself a little better, this conversation will resonate.

The Interview we refer to in this episode can be found on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

New episodes every week. Follow, share, and stay connected.

Wait... What's Next? 

Host: Laura Alba 
Co-Host: Amanda Brilhante
Executive Producer: Lauren Atkinson

Instagram: @waitwhatsnextpod, @lauraalbaz & @amandakbril

Email:  waitwhatsnextpod@gmail.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi guys, welcome back to Wait. What's next? Today's episode feels like a reset. A catch-up, a debrief per se, and a moment to actually sit with everything that's been happening. Amanda's back from Coachella, yay! So we get into it. The energy, the moments, the beaver fever. Yes, we need to talk about it. And the little life updates that come with stepping out and coming back into your routine. But what really stayed with us is our conversation with Morgan. This episode is used in it in real time. What actually meant it, what made us reflect, and the pieces we're taking with us. We talk about the habits you build when you feel strong, the ones that quietly hold you together when you're not, how relationships shape us in ways we don't always rely on till later. And how, even with completely different lives, so much of what we feel ends up being the same. It's a conversation where, for the first time, we dissect and explore what we learn from listening to other people's experiences and how we can relate, which we hope is a good exercise for you to relate and feel connected as well. If you've been navigating your own ships, trying to understand yourself a little deeper, you just need something that feels familiar in a different way, this is for you. If this episode resonates with you, or if it feels like it will get a good combo going in the group chat, share it with your friends. We want to spark the combos and for you to continue them. Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Really? Yeah, well, like like Sabrina Carpenter, I watched her because I I was trying to decide like where's my best use of money, right? And if Sabrina Carpenter goes for like half the Coachella tickets, yeah. We were all like, where's her guest? Where's her guest? And like she never brought out a guest. So, but like brings out Madonna for weekend one or weekend two, dude. That is so epic. And then Justin Bieber had Sizza, and I think and then he brought in Billy Ellish.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

I'm sorry, that whole thing where he was like, Okay, one last longer girl, because they're building up to this, and I saw that and it almost it wore my heart.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

I was like, this is like full circle, so cute. I thought it was cute. Sitting on the floor right now in my beanbag chairs because dude, I felt like such a vibe. Yeah, no, that's such a big one. I'm waiting for Benny to go into that one. He usually sits in it. How's your birthday?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

It was really fun. My birthday was really cute. Like I said, you know how I always plan my birthday this year. I think we keep talking insane that the year of the horse. I felt it. I am it it's just my birthday. I've been so busy with just live stuff that my birthday just came in and it just slapped in the face. I was like, oh my god, my even Noah was like, Oh, your birthday is this week, and I was like, My birthday is this week. And I looked and I was like, oh my god, it's April 14th. And so I didn't really plan anything. But I love the day off, it just feels very special. And then I even I was gonna get a day off, but I had a big project to out of work, so I couldn't get it off. But you have like the energy of like, oh, people are saying happy birthday, like all of this thing. So it was really cute. And then my work, people were saying happy birthday. And then I I went to dinner with my family, and then Noah sent me flowers at nighttime, and I look at them every day, and they're so cute. And honestly, I feel that that love from people, your text, the text from all of my friends, will call me, and it just makes me feel very special when people reach out to you via text, via call, all of those things, and it's a reminder that you have a community and people that love you. So I think it was really cool. And then last night we went out and got dinner, and again, everyone they pay for me, which I don't know. It's just I feel like I'm so used to all of us like, okay, spend well, whatever. And everyone's like, no, that you don't have to pay, it's your birthday. And it's just weird still to get that treatment from people, so it's just really nice.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

Yeah, it sounds like you had a big quality birthday, less of the like how big of a group, and more of the let me feel the love from my people, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

And I feel there's like the community that I have that once I hear from you guys, I'm complete, I'm feeling great, and I have news. What's your news? No, I get the job offer in Hawaii.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Stop, really? Yeah, so are you moving to Hawaii? Is that the next like big thing? Oh my gosh. Okay, first of all, congrats to him. I know this has been a really long journey, and this is very exciting. So, how's it going?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

It's really fun. It was it's kind of like the patient and just waiting. But what's really interesting, Amanda, you were kind of like the only one that kind of knows the the escalation and stuff because I talk to you more like weekly. Lauren Atkinson reaches out to me out of nowhere last week on Friday. I think we're talking about something else. And she goes, Oh, by the way, my mom reached out to me saying that if Laura ever needs connections in Hawaii, she's well connected with the directors, the board of directors of a company, and also the Hawaii university. I mean, Lauren had no idea that we just got the news. And I'm literally reading this text, and my heart is like, what? And I was like, oh my god, Lauren.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

That was like a sign from the universe.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

Yeah. And I keep telling this to everyone. It's one of those things that happened, and you're like, I'm making this app. I am not making this app. This is so crazy. So yeah, that is what is happening.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Wow. So now you're obviously thinking of next steps, I'm assuming, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:07

I know you're doing the same thing, so maybe that's something that we can also talk about because you're definitely in that transition too, but it's becoming very real. And I think now that I know it's official, I'm like, okay, all my energy is gonna go there. It's it's really nice. I I I think it could have been anywhere in the fact that it was Hawaii too. I also think it's a universe thing because I don't know if we talk much during pandemic and all of that, but ever since working from home became available, I always dream of moving to Hawaii for a certain amount of time and just work remotely there. So the fact that this is happening, it's again full circle. And I'm like, why? Like, this is so crazy.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

That like in-between period of trying to figure out who is gonna close the gap of distance and what that'll look like and be like a lot of anxiety producing and provoking. Yeah. So it's oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

I know you recently just moved with your boyfriend, and you kind of went through the same transition of closing the gap. And I think that as much as I don't feel pressure from society, or you guys are very supportive, always you're like, you know, you have Tang in there, like a lot of these things are happening. When these happened, there was this part of me where I finally I was able to relax and start actually allowing myself to dream of building up in life together with him. Because I a lot of the times I think you will come and ask me or wail, and they're like, wait, what are you guys doing? What's next for you guys? When a lot of people have these questions, I know you guys don't mean like putting pressure, but it's hard to even answer those questions for yourself because everyone is moving and you're like, I don't really know. I know for a fact that we love each other, and I know that Noah wants to be with me and I want to be with him, but it's so hard to start building up those expectations and oh, this is what we're gonna do, and maybe this and that, but now it's becoming more real, and I'm really enjoying that process because I feel like before there was a little bit of hesitation, and I was wondering why I had that hesitation, but I think it was that. And now I'm like, okay, now I can dream about it and I can start planning for it. So I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

No, I get that. I do think I can see how those questions would create some like pain points internally because especially when like your friends are in different places, like I obviously made the move, and we have friends who are getting engaged and friends who are married, and like people who have also closed the gap and brought themselves together after a distance. And I think that when you're in that spot of like uncertainty, you you want to answer and be like, yes, we're doing this, and we're doing all the steps everyone is expecting you to do, but you're not in a place to do that yet. So I think that that does create some tension. But now you get to answer with full confidence. I know.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

Now a lot of planning is happening, a lot of moving pieces, but it's exciting because now I know where it's going and I know where we're putting our focus on. So it goes back to the patience, keeping the vision and trusting the process because I think we all want to have the end goal figured out and make sure and know that it's gonna all turn out well, but that waiting period can be challenging. But I'm excited, yeah, and we'll we'll see what happens. But I want to make a note I love our outfits tonight because it's Coachella weekend too, and I feel we're kind of the vibes. I love your sweater, so cute.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

I was so excited to buy this one. Cactus on this arm, nothing on this arm, and then like the back is a whole little design.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

I love the back. You know, I'm really resentful because I feel that when I went to Coachilla in the past, the swag wasn't that cool. I wanted to buy things, but a swag isn't good, and then this is so expensive. I'm not trying to spend so much money. I will literally buy the sweater that you're wearing, even if I didn't walk.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Maybe it's just because we have adult money, but I didn't feel like the prices were as bad as they have been. And to your point, I could have sworn I bought Coachella stuff when we went in like what 2017. 2017, 2017. 2016. 2017. I don't have any like t-shirts, sweatshirts. Like, I I couldn't even tell you. I did we not buy something? I could have sworn we bought something, but I don't have anything.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

I remember I bought a shirt, but the shirt fits so awkward, and it had like all of the lineups in the back, but it was just so awkward. It wasn't anything cute. This sweater I will wear it every day. So cute.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Yeah, oversized, also like the FOMO right now on not being there for a weekend too. And the Bieber fever is real. I was in a workout class this morning and he was playing JB, and I was like, Yes, you know what we need.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

I was blasting baby, and one time I've been blasting those two songs in my car. And my excuse is nobody can question me because we're on beaver fever right now. And literally blasting it in my car. These songs don't get old, they're the best.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Yeah, never. But can I just tell you what does get old is like being in your 30s and being at a festival. We were feeling it. I mean, I think that you and I are pretty physically active. We get our steps in, we get our workouts in. We were doing 25,000 steps on average, not in like tennis shoes. And I was feeling it. Also, the lack of sleep. I'm a big sleep person. So yeah, there's a lot of sitting. I don't remember sitting like that when we went in college, but this year we were like, all right, where can we sit? I was sitting in the middle of sets. I did not, no shame in the pop and a squat, but I wore Doc Martin's and I wore cowgirl boots. You know, they're comfortable shoes.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

You were always really good. I remember you wearing those shoes. And the Dr. Martins, those were tough. For me, it was that little hail they have. You think it's minimal and you don't feel it. By the end of the day, I was like, I am dying of these shoes. When I will wear just tennis shoes, I will be fine. But that little hill, it will really, it will really be bad. I don't know. I remember 2017. I was sitting all the time. I was like, whenever there was, I remember this videos of us like sitting and waiting, and we're all like, oh my god, before the set will start, I'll be like, I cannot do this. I am not gonna do it. But then there's this energy that comes out when the headliner or the person, the concert stars, and you just get that feel, and that's what makes you get up and then just jumping, just letting it out. It's kind of like when you work out for a long time, you do like a heavy set, you're feeling good, and then you stop. You immediately are like, oh my god, my second set is gonna be hard. When you stop, is when you feel really tired. But if you keep moving and moving, you're good.

SPEAKER_02 13:20

Yeah. No, I I do think that there's some truth in moving and moving, but there was a certain point we were like, I can't move anymore. Like, let me preserve my energy right now. And then yeah, to your point, when the bangers come on, you're like, okay, you get like a second wind and you're ready to go. And my Doc Martens are actually very comfortable, and I've worn them to multiple festivals and wore them all around Manhattan and just wherever. But I think that if I were to do Coachella again, as much as I want to go out and look trendy and buy all the outfits, everyone was dressed exactly the same. And I very much was, you know what? Like, there's no like real originality here. And I think next year I would just wear like tennis shoes and shorts and a tank top, like very casual. And I kind of did that day three. I was wearing jeans and a tank top because it was cold. And then I put my sweatshirt on. But I would definitely do more comfort than style, I guess, next year. But I have a feeling that's gonna be the swing, anyways. Everyone was geeking out over the Jenners wearing casual-esque outfits. You heard it here. Next year's Coachella is gonna be casual, and it's well, I mean, Coachella's always been a little casual, so I do feel like it's been evolving though.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

I feel when we went, I mean, you can even see the Jenner sisters like on 2018, 2016. Their outfits were insane. Kylie Jenner is wearing her hair with color, and it's just like very festival and all of that. I feel kind of evolved over time. At least when I went three years ago, it was different. Yeah, the vibe has changed. There's something beautiful about people want to have the trend. And I was on TikTok seeing people finding what the trend was gonna be on Coachella, which is so crazy. Who builds up these trends? Who knows? But people show up wearing the same thing, and I'll be everyone was spreading the rumor. Who is started this?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

They all got the memo, everyone got the memo. Day one of weekend one. We are walking around, and yeah, I don't know who I same question. Who started this? I guess it's gotta be the clothing companies because I can't even tell you how many different clothing companies I went to that had the same exact piece of clothing. So everyone's buying from the same stores and they all have the same product. So that's how we end up all wearing the same stuff. But yeah, we were all the same, very much all the same.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

It's funny because I didn't have to be there in what hours would have eyebrow based on trend and not so much of like, do I really like this? The tiny mini skirts that are in, the boots that are not so much, they're kind of between the cowboy boots and normal boots, the open back shirts. What was another thing that I saw? The booty shorts and the tiny legging material shorts, girls just wearing like tiny little things. I think that's very in right now. I don't know if you saw that as much.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

And it's the moto boots that are in, it's like square toed, which my cowgirl boots are actually square toed. So yeah, a little bit more on that trend.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yeah. No, I love I love your outfit. So I guess it's kind of like what the new generation is wearing, and then they and then Pochilla just grabs that and just makes it tight stand. And so that's where the trend goes. The big build.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

So unoriginal, I have both of them. The silver one everyone had, and then the big brown leather one, also everyone had. I did wear both of them too. I very much was buying into that trend, but yeah, everyone had it.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

I think also for the Justin Bieber thing, because he wore sweatpants and stuff. Oh, I would have enjoyed that one because I would have just worn like a sweater or something, really layback, so comfy, but at the same time, it's like, okay, this is the vibe, what everyone's going for.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Yeah. So this is the vibe.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

To wrap up Coachella breakup, you give me a FOMO. I texted the group and I was like, I have one more Coachella in me. Can we just make this happen, please? We need to.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Okay. Actually, I think I have one more coachella in me, too. So 2027.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

But you know what it is though? And I figured it out. I don't go out, I don't drink. And for instance, yesterday when we met up with my friends for my birthday, they are kind of over the city life because there's just so much going on all the time and they're going out and drinking a lot. And yesterday I met up with them and I'm like, hey guys, I'm down to go out. Let's go. I was pushing to go out, which that's not me ever. They want to do it. We're cooked. We cannot go out. We're so tired. We need to get a break from drinking. And then they're like, no, we need to come back. And they're talking how they're just mindlessly drinking sometimes because the opportunity presented itself, just ended up drinking. But I don't do that. So now I feel like when I go out, I'm fully there. I have the energy. I can give it all and enjoy it more rather than just drinking here or there for no reason. So I feel for Coachella, I have that excitement and I know I would enjoy it because I am not going out every weekend and doing all these things. And it's just a special moment with all your friends where you can just go all out. I want to go out, all out.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

You know what's funny is I actually did Coachella sober. We drank before leaving Friday, but that was it. I didn't buy a single drink at the festival grounds. And same thing. I'm not a huge drinker. I do drink pretty socially. I love a good cocktail. I love a good wine, but it's more so now when I'm like with certain people. And I think that living in the city does lend itself to just more drinking habits because when I was in New York, it was like all the time. I remember at one point I went from drinking maybe once a week, or not at all once a week, till three, four plus times a week. What just happened? But it's just because everyone's always, let's go to this bar, let's go here, let's get a glass of wine with this dinner, etc. etc.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Yeah, so times are changing. That was a realization from yesterday. Everything is moving, people are over it. The chapters of really just being single and drinking and going out, they're really coming to an end. Even though we have a lot of friends who are married, it's still filled with young energy, and it still does. It's different. Some of our friends are already having kids, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm just about to live with a boy. I'm 10 years behind everyone. That part is extremely hard to sometimes because I wish I had 10 more years of just living with my boyfriend, and all of my friends stopped not having babies, so then I can get that out of the way. Just like some people did. I feel they had all of their coupley stuff alone for a long time, and I'm just about to experience that. I mean, it is what it is. Some people in different stages in life. I just want people from our weddings to be able to go out tourine and do all the things that we were able to do with them.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

So I always think about the wedding thing, and I'm like, okay, like my kid, my friends with kids, are they gonna be able to come to the wedding if it's a no kids wedding? Or how do I adjust to this? So I have a feeling whenever that day comes, I'm gonna be texting everyone, okay, what's the status? Can you come if there's a babysitter? Are we we have to come with the kid? Are you like, no, I want to leave the kids? So, but I think that there is obviously some beauty in our friends who have met when they're younger, because to your point, they're just like at a more advanced stage and we're slowly getting there. We're right behind them. But you know, I mean, our friends are still our friends. We've talked about this before, too. At the end of the day, even though they're just might have been more tired Saturday night when you are ready to go, it's still the quality time of okay, when you do find those moments, they're just extra special and you make it happen.

unknown 20:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Yeah, and I think you and we can maybe sink in more because we're you started before me, but I think we're almost at the same stage. Yeah, not just living with our boyfriends and we want to enjoy that and the next steps. And I really just want if I get engaged or whatever, I really want to be able to live that and be in it and not be like, okay, we're gonna rush because everyone else is moving, you know. So just stay in truth to our own timeline and enjoy it as it happens, just like our friends enjoy it when it happened for them.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

To pivot a little bit, you obviously had a really important conversation in our last episode. Yeah, kind of related to what we're talking about in the sense of going through hard times in your life and then seeing who's there, how to adjust to that, and making different decisions and the devolution. And I'm sure that our guest also had moments where she felt like she was behind or maybe more sped up than the people in her life. But let's talk about that a little bit and some of the ways that you've digested the conversation. Conversation and ways that others can move forward.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Yeah. No, you're right. I enjoy the conversation with her because she is somebody who started very early, actually. She got married early, she had kids early. Basically, dream that girls have in her early 20s by the age 22. She had already had her second baby. She came from a very traditional background. That was kind of like the norm. And then her husband at the time, he wanted to be an actor, and he actually got a sitcom here in LA. And so they make moves to California from Texas. And of course, that shift of culture was huge. That was the biggest challenges that they had to go through because they were raised different, and then they're raising kids in a different environment. That was one layer. And then another layer is she got engaged. She got in this relationship at 18. So she was growing up while she was in this relationship. And then they also went through the trouble of the dynamic of a couple where they had that conservative background, but she was the one that was working, and he was the one that was staying in with the kids while he was trying to pursue his career as well. And I think that was one of the biggest challenges that they experienced to sort of top it off. Because there was so much love. Trying to align with these dynamics that were now part of her marriage that not so much aligned with her bodies and what she wanted to do from like she wanted from a relationship, basically, but what she signed out for. And with that came a lot of losing herself a little bit in the relationship, and basically the boundaries that maybe she would have had were crossed over. She basically sacrificed a lot to be able to just be there for her husband and try to do the things to make it work. At some point in time, she could not longer live that life. And that's when her kids were grown up, they went to college and they were empty-nested. And that's when the reality kind of just hit them. And she realized that that just was not the life that she wanted to live. The biggest takeaway was after having her full life basically lived in terms of having kids and having a marriage, she had to start over. And she had to choose to make the hard decision to leave the person that she loved, but she knew that no longer aligned with her. And she needed to do that for herself because she knew that it was gonna eventually just destroy her. Um, and she was just gonna completely lose herself. And so with that came a lot of healing, a lot rebuilding, a lot of getting back in touch with herself and rebuilding that relationship with herself. And she was no longer 18. She was way older than that, right? Like she's already lived a life, and so kind of new in this new person in an older stage. Well, she is, say, my on the other side of the bridge, in a better space right now. She does have a beautiful relationship, again, with a very different dynamic that she ever thought it was gonna be, but it's the kind of love that really resonates with her. There was a lot of work that she had to put in. And that's kind of like what we want to recap today and then bring it back to us and how we relate to it, because I'm sure you with your relationships, with my relationships and other aspects in life, we had to also get back in touch with ourselves and rebuild and he'll move forward to be able to be where we are at now. And something that I want you to share is what were those practices and what were your dynamics, and how was your process on some of those relationships that ended and that left you in a situation where you knew that you needed to like rebuild because it's so easy to say, go heal, go just choose yourself, but it's like nobody's telling you how, and it's so hard to pull yourself out of those dark moments. And so I thought to piggyback off that episode that was so meaningful, we can also talk about our own experiences.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

First of all, like Morgan doing that at the stage in her life that she was. I think for any woman, any man, anybody in that situation, it is so hard to recognize like, okay, I am not aligning to like who I am, what my values are, and I need to make a difference and change things. And then to have to relearn yourself at any age is hard. I can't imagine having to do it post all of that. And like I'm thinking about the small instances where I've done that. And I don't know if I have a clear answer, Laura, to that question, because thinking about how I had to rebuild myself, it wasn't there is not a guidebook. You're right. There's not like a step-by-step, here's what to do. People can make suggestions, recommendations, go to therapy, try this, try that. And I I dabbled with therapy. I have been in and out of therapy. I don't know if therapy helped me rebuild who I was. I think for me, the biggest, I don't know, steps I could offer to somebody else in that situation would be to reconnect if the relationships have been lost, or to just kind of dive back into the relationships if they're not lost, that are of people who knew you or know you for who you are. So for me, it was obviously a big part of that was my family. They were friends that knew me well before that relationship. But they were also just people who, even if they met me while that relationship started, they knew me for who I was. And so when I was out of it, because I mean, you know that I've had a couple very traumatizing experiences, one more than the other. And and I can honestly say that there was a point when I was who I am is not who I am. How I'm acting, how I'm behaving, what I'm doing, what I'm feeling is not authentic to who I am. And when my mind started to clear, because you have to get through that period of being clouded, and then your brain starts to clear. And I almost felt I could like feel my brain rewiring itself. Give yourself patience. I had somebody once tell me to not be angry at that version of you and to just give her a big hug and tell her it's okay, and to forgive her because I felt a lot of guilt and maybe being ashamed of that version of me. And I did need to forgive her for those choices and for those regrets. And I would say that's a part of it is forgiving yourself. Oh gosh, what else? Making choices that make you happier, as hard as it is to figure out what those are, the more that you make them and the more you lean into that, the easier it gets. And maybe that's going to a coffee shop, like by yourself for the first time and reclaiming your independence, but also having the ability to go to a coffee shop that is completely your decision. There's nobody else's opinion coming into there, it's just up to you. And and then to our earlier conversation about Coachella, maybe it's you don't go out and drink, and maybe it's you start picking up a fitness class, like whatever it is that you feel like you need to try to get yourself into a better place. What about you? Do you have any thinking back to those times? Is there anything that comes to mind on maybe what advice you would give for somebody who begins to take those steps? Because, like you said, like there's no guidebook for this.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

But if you had to pinpoint something, I have something very specific, but I first want to respond back to what you said that resonates. That also Morgan was sharing. Truly, the key is pull yourself out of that dark cycle that you're in. Because I think that's a big step. Once you're in that dark, clouded space. People say time heals everything. And while that is true, it won't heal until you do something about it. And there is time to be sad and accept it and grief, and that's okay in the beginning. It's important actually that you do that. But then there has to get to a point where you slowly start taking that power back. And as much as it's so much easier to be in your sweatpants and crying and not seeing people and not talking, there is a part of you that needs to start pushing yourself to do that, even though if it's fake, because otherwise this can become a forever thing. And it's not just gonna happen on its own and just time healing it. So I love that you shared that because she shared the same thing, and some of the things she shared were baby steps of gratitude, which is wake up and say, I'm thankful for this plant that is still growing today. And and she was like, it that's probably as much as gratitude as you can get out that day. And then the next day, do two uh spaces of gratitude. And again, it's just those little things that it looks so simple and so dumb. But in the bigger scheme of things, are the things that got you started to really push into start healing and start moving forward and start getting out of that darkness. As you said, it's not a guidebook. What works for you might not work for somebody else, but that's the part where you walked in and get real with yourself. And it's like what truly makes me happy because a lot of the times when you come out of those relationships, you don't even know who you are and you don't even know what you like anymore. And part of it is even asking yourself, discovering what it is that makes you happy just for being yourself and not being with anybody else, but for you. So that's huge. Therapy, exercising, all of those things. I think moving your physical body, grasping your mind and trying to get your mind into a specific mindset, it's really hard. At the very least, starting with your physical. I think it's like the way to start, move your body, because then your mind catches up to your physical body. It's much easier, but it does require a push. That being said, I want to speak a little bit of not the aftermath, but how can you prep your life to be ready to enjoy a relationship and then also have the ability to know that even if the things don't work out, things are still gonna be okay. And I think for me, I've always been very in touch with being active, going on hikes. My wellness journey has been very important for me. So one of the things that Ameda and I bonded about was going to the gym in college. And that was our two hours day that we would put in together and we bonded, and it was so fun. And I've always been in tune with that for me. It makes me happy, it makes me feel something that I control, it makes me feel that it's time for myself. There's nothing better than the feeling and the endorphins of a good workout and having a healthy meal after, and especially when you do it with other people and community, it makes you feel you're part of something and you're all doing something that's good for you. And I think that my first breakup when I was 19, and again, people can say, Well, you were 19. No, when you were 19, you still very much can love, just like when you're 30. And I say that because I am very in love now, and there was no difference between now and when I was 19. So it was very real, it was very painful, and it came out of nowhere. If heartbreak is something that you never can prep for, you can never get ready. It's crazy. The one thing that I remember going through that time after the grieving and crying and being so unwell, it's starting slowly because I had those habits of working out. I had a huge discipline. That discipline was kicking in. Even though I didn't have the energy, I didn't want to go to the gym, but I was so disciplined that I would still find myself in the gym, even though I didn't want to. And I think when you create those very strong habits and they're so engraved in you and so part of your life, those are the things that lift you up when you're down. And I think that anybody, it doesn't matter what stage in life you are, if you're happy right now, start building up those habits. Start creating something for yourself that you know is gonna be there no matter what happens. Because it really pulled me back. I know this sounds a little pretentious and funny, but I'm like, I might be heartbroken, but I look good and I don't care. You know what I mean? Like I would tell myself those things because it will really pull me out of that darkness. And I knew that it's okay, it doesn't matter. Nobody's gonna stop me from going to the gym. Nobody can tell me no, this is my decision, I'm gonna go. Those habits were the things that pulled me back, and eventually I was feeling better and better and stronger. And then one day, like you said, we wake up and you just feel better. And it just happened. To finalize that is I said once to my mom and friends, I said, if you see that I'm heartbroken or going through a hard time, but I'm still going to the gym and I'm still doing this, I'm fine. If I'm crying and doing squats while I'm crying, it's okay. I'm good. Worried if I stop going to the gym. Really worried if I stop eating or doing these things because that's when you know I am not pushing. That's when you know I lost hope because I'm not doing anything about it. So if I stop going to the gym, that's a very huge indicative that something's very much wrong with me. So that's when you have to jump in and find help. I think that's how I navigate that. And I really invite people to don't wait until things are hard. Don't wait until you're heartbroken. If you're happy, or even if you're not that happy, like if you just whatever right now, start building up those habits. Get busy on those things that make you happy because those things will show up for you when you most need it.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Yeah, I definitely agree with you about how some of those foundational pieces reappear. Because I was thinking, what were my immediate firsts when I started to reclaim myself? And not to push exercise, I just think that you and me have a very similar mindset with this. And not everyone is going to like exercise like we do. I know people's time constraints are different. I do always encourage a walk. I mean, there is science behind getting outside, getting your body moving, even just standing in the sun for 15 minutes, those little things, like there is tried and true science for it helping your mental health and your physical health and all of that. But to your point, having those foundational pieces of things that you know you like, if you like a good book, whatever it was that you liked a decade ago, two decades ago, whenever it was before you lost yourself, you will likely still like it after. And then to your point too, and I think even Morgan's and what I was sharing earlier, trying new things, because you do have to figure out what your new preferences are. I know for me, and I think that Laura, next episode, we should definitely dive into rock bottoms and what to do when you're there. Because to your point, like if you're crying and you're squatting, you're fine. But if you're not even squatting and you're just on the couch crying, then there's something else going on. And like I've hit my rock bottoms for sure. My I definitely had family at one point be like, hey, you might be a little depressed because the things that were core to who I was and part of my foundation, I wasn't doing as much for sure. I was definitely having a hard time being motivated to get out and do it.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

So how do you identify when you're in that rock bottom? How do you get out of it? What steps do you take with that? That's a whole different conversation.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

Let's do it. I think that's I think that should come next week and we'll pray for that and we'll have. I think we can create more of a blueprint of for you and me and how it worked for us. Because as much as blueprints are so see, I have a hard time with blueprints because I came in hot saying that in some of our few early episodes where I was like, I hate blueprints because you know everyone's different. And like when you tell me what to do, it's different for me. You're coming from a different background, like it doesn't apply. But blueprints do help to at least read about somebody else and then apply and take some things from those guidelines and then leave what doesn't serve you. We'll do that next week and we'll craft it better so then we can like really hone in and get a specific and even tell stories because I think stories resonate with people a lot and they can be like, hey, like the same thing is happening to me.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Yeah, the rock bottom episode, and definitely we'll share some stories of where my rock bottom was and like how I came back from that. Okay, before we wrap up the episode, Laura, I wanted to ask you after talking with Morgan, what was your big takeaway on being somebody who lost who they were and then refound themselves? And for anybody at any stage, because this is an always relationship focus. People lose themselves all the time. Sometimes it's a job, sometimes it's just the stage of your life and you're not in a relationship. Like I have single friends who I think go through hard periods because of that and trying to figure out how to move forward. And sometimes it very well is because you love someone so much and you're willing to sacrifice so much for them that you don't know who you are anymore. But there's so many different points of our life where we can lose ourselves. But after speaking with Morgan, what was your like personal takeaway on how to work through that transition? And what would you say back to somebody who is in that period?

SPEAKER_00 41:19

Even though we didn't really focus and speak so much about fear, I think that was my biggest takeaway. And I wanted people to hear this story because people don't even want to go through the process for the fear of losing. I'm hearing this a lot in the new generation that they're finding dating so impossible and even looking for jobs because AI now just changed the game and people don't know how to go about it. I think people stop acting out of fear and they're not open to just try it out and fail. And who cares? You fail, you learn, then you move forward because that's the way you get to the next step. But I think with so much information on the internet and so much access to yeah, different resources coming from all different places, people do have more information that can come to themselves and make a decision and say, hey, I want to do this or not do it. But realistically, the real experience and the real wisdom and knowledge is not gonna come until you execute on a decision. And whether or not that is successful or a failure, you are gonna learn and that's gonna get you to the next level. So I want people to walk away, especially women, walk away with this interview with Morgan thinking this woman met somebody young, settled down, and then found herself having to restart again. And coming back from that is so hard that maybe it helps somebody who it's going through a transition or having to make a hard decision, and they're not afraid to make it because there is a light on the other side of the tunnel. Sometimes you do have to make those decisions. So I want to empower any listener, don't question it, go for it, see it through, and just learn from it. That's what I want people to walk away with to just take risks and live life because that that's what it means to live.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

I love that. I I agree with you. I think that there is a big fear of failure. This is something that I even hear talked about in the corporate world amongst VPs and CEOs and other executive decision makers. But somehow we have created a generation, multiple generations, I think, that are afraid of failure, afraid to do things wrong, afraid to restart all of that, afraid to lose someone, which is definitely really, really scary and not knowing always how to go forward. But I think as humans, we're resilient. Your way back eventually. Might be slow, might be painful, but humans are resilient.

SPEAKER_00 44:06

When you said that and to wrap this up and leave people with some wisdom, I remember I had a director of marketing in my previous company. She was kind of my mentor. Which by the way, that's really good. If you have somebody that you feel, oh, I really like this woman, this career, whatever, find mentors because that's such a good, helpful way to mitigate mistakes while learning from other people's experiences, especially those who have done it and who are in a position where we might want to be one day. So I remember I would meet up with her every couple of weeks, and I was asking her to teach me how to negotiate and how to advocate for myself in the workforce. Not only because I'm competing with great talent, but also because negotiation for women is a completely different ballgame than with a guy. Naturally, we do have to advocate harder for ourselves to get places. And she was like, let me start you by saying closed mouths don't get fit. So you need to speak up and you need to say what you need to say and ask what you want. Because people are not gonna advocate for you if they don't know about you. Everyone is still wrapped up on themselves. They're not like, oh yeah, Laura's kind of cool. Let me just let me just think of her for this. If you don't, if you're not in front of them, poking them and asking them and making yourself notice, nobody's gonna notice you. And so, yes, go and ask for what you want and build a case that serves you. Don't just show up and be like, oh, I deserve this because so and so. No, build a case that supports why you should be where you wanna be and why you deserve what you're asking for, and what's the worst that can happen? That they say no. But you know what's the best thing that they can happen? That they say yes. And so to me, I'm like, I don't care. I don't care if I'm embarrassed, I don't care, whatever they can think of me. I'm gonna ask and put it out in the universe, and I'm gonna get it or I'm not gonna get it, but I'm not gonna walk away regretting that I didn't say anything. And I think that is very much what we're saying. It's like this could be in the career place, but it's like, yeah, close mouths, don't get fed. Speak up, go for what you want. Do you like a guy? Jump on it, say something. Again, what's the worst thing that I can say? He says no. Okay, perfect. You filter yourself out, some dude that doesn't deserve you. And yeah, I just I think that's the best way to do it. NDF is like just go for it, live it up, and have the experience and be better.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

Well said, Laura.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

Click it. Okay, I'm gonna let you wrap us up, Amanda, because welcome back. We missed you. I really miss my co-host, and I'm so excited to continue diving into different topics with you.

SPEAKER_02 46:51

Oh, yeah, I know. It was last week was a weird week, and I wish I didn't travel so much too, even though last week was fun travel. But yeah, you can find us at Spotify, Apple, YouTube, uh, wait, what's next? Pod. Also go on to Instagram, give us a like, a follow, please comment, like our episodes, leave reviews, send us DMs, all that good stuff. We want to hear from you as well. Laura, anything to add?

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Nothing to add. Leave us a comment, connect with us, and I wanna do a fun exercise, but I'm gonna save this one for the next episode because we were gonna play this game last night, and that's how we can start the next episode. So I'm just gonna leave it like that. We'll see you guys next week.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

See you next week.

unknown 47:35

Bye.