On this week's episode, prepare to explore the caverns of personal development and the art of leadership.
From the surprising revelations of my first bra fitting to the pivotal shift from being the "cool boss" to a leader who owns their mistakes, we traverse the landscape of self-care and the metamorphosis that comes with it.
We get deep into the psyche, discussing how self-talk shapes our personal and professional lives, and cap things off with a candid look at the importance of vocalizing our struggles—reminding everyone that sometimes, just letting off steam is the best kind of pressure relief.
To follow our journey:
Instagram @aheadhair_
@the_conscious_salon
This podcast has been produced and edited by Snappystreet Creative
On this week's episode, prepare to explore the caverns of personal development and the art of leadership.
From the surprising revelations of my first bra fitting to the pivotal shift from being the "cool boss" to a leader who owns their mistakes, we traverse the landscape of self-care and the metamorphosis that comes with it.
We get deep into the psyche, discussing how self-talk shapes our personal and professional lives, and cap things off with a candid look at the importance of vocalizing our struggles—reminding everyone that sometimes, just letting off steam is the best kind of pressure relief.
To follow our journey:
Instagram @aheadhair_
@the_conscious_salon
This podcast has been produced and edited by Snappystreet Creative
Here at the Conscious Salon, we acknowledge the traditional owners of the land in which we stand today, the Boon Rung people of the Kula Nation. We pay our respects to the elders, past and present, and extend their respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Conscious Salon. Welcome back to the Conscious Salon podcast.
Speaker 1:Don't look at me, Matt, because I'll say the line that you don't want me to say no, you won't.
Speaker 2:You do want me to say it. I feel like you're always like welcome back your eyebrows.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Thanks, nikki. It's great to be here. Anyway, another episode coming into your ears and we're very excited to be here, aren't we?
Speaker 1:Yep, well, I've just had a little shaky moment so I'm just at my nerves, at shock to see.
Speaker 2:I was wondering if this would come up in your oh yeah, we're not even getting into the week that was, we're literally getting into what happened immediately.
Speaker 1:I've just had guys.
Speaker 2:The hour.
Speaker 1:That was the minutes that it's been. I just went down to recover their microphones in the house and as I was walking out, pete was out there doing the Cactus World Living.
Speaker 2:It's quite a production down there, by the way. Cactus, by the way, have you?
Speaker 1:seen the setup he's got a top down, he's got like Tess, do you know what right?
Speaker 2:I live in Cactus World and it's like population just me, pete and Sully.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've had enough Cactus talk for one lifetime. God, I've actually become a Cactus Convert, if I can.
Speaker 2:I mean, I say that, but I also am saving design photos for the new salon, which is absolutely coveting Cactus you just hang two Cactus portraits above your bed.
Speaker 1:Honestly, you can say you're not a Cactus person, but the fact that you've only got the two pieces of artwork in the room, then both of them are Cactus.
Speaker 2:This is to ensure Pete's in the mood. That's a search of you when I have the real Pete Young experience. You've got to hang up a couple of Cactus to get him going. They don't call him.
Speaker 1:Prickly Pete for nothing. Tickle my prickle indeed. Anyway so they tickle my prickles under full production down there. Just the solo experience so far.
Speaker 2:How do you make it sound like it's down there? That is a genuine business name.
Speaker 1:He's not a. We haven't got an innuendo happening, no, not that I'm aware of. Anyway, maybe we do. Anyway, what happened to you? We went down there and I went and got the mics out of the car I've been walking around, for it's raining here in Melbourne as usual summertime really in full force. Just a couple of days of heat and then the torrential rain for the entire day, absolutely. I actually chose to wear Thoms today. It's cold, it's cold and wet.
Speaker 2:I just had to put it. I mean, I just had to send Pete to go down and get me a jumper, but you put your jumper on, you put your hoodie on.
Speaker 1:I did so. I put my hood on, walking around, so you know, probably had it on for a couple of minutes and then, as I was walking back through, pete and I were just having a bit of a chat and then he just went don't move. Which, jesus Christ, when someone does that, you just it's like every part of my life. I feel like all the personal development I've done. I was like don't move, like actually don't, because you're not. To respond when someone tells you don't move is to like scream and like fling about and just lose it. So I stayed remarkably still and then Pete said do you want me to take a photo of it and show you, or just get it off? I said just get it off. He of course took the photo, which aren't you appreciated, because I could see my head. So this, apparently it's a spider, but it's honestly.
Speaker 2:You know the Harry Potter. I'm going to do another.
Speaker 1:Harry Potter. Aragong the giant spider, was on the back of my head. It was the biggest huntsman I think I've actually ever seen.
Speaker 2:I'm going to share a photo of this on that day we're going to do a side by side of Aragong and that spider.
Speaker 1:And see if you can differentiate.
Speaker 2:It was huge.
Speaker 1:And I'm just like obviously so, pete. Then we're being the you know king that he is. He put a very delicate pot over my head because I thought he'd just like thump it on and I'd get like wet lash and the spider would crawl around and bite me in the face. You know all the things that you. I assumed it was a spider or what.
Speaker 2:I could only think that reaction would be Spider or a demon, both in that case.
Speaker 1:But no, he removed it. And then I'll also put up the photo of Pete holding it on a stick. But it's like, honestly, I think it's a bird in his spider it's so big.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a tarantula and we're dealing with it appropriately.
Speaker 1:It was on the back of my head, but this comes after. We're just going to jump straight into the week that wasn't he Really quickly. I also had the final Web Spider investigation over the weekend of my house.
Speaker 2:What's the what's like? The spiritual significance of spiders.
Speaker 1:I think it means money.
Speaker 2:Does it not mean money? Oh well, yeah, it's going to cost me a lot to get rid of all this.
Speaker 1:I think that's what it's probably telling me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's got to be some sort of spiritual significance. We need a third co-host, who does a spiritual no, a spiritual overview of whatever is going on, because we keep referencing this Like what's going on in the world at the moment, or what's going on with this, or what's going on with spiders. There's got to be some sort of spiritual significance overlapping this.
Speaker 1:Let me Okay spider meaning.
Speaker 2:Stop just trying to find something that really I'm not, affects you directly or relates to you. I don't know. Which one do I like the most. Which one do I like the most? Okay?
Speaker 1:there's a couple. So, first of all, it means you're exceptionally good-looking. Yeah, hot people only. Oh, actually, I kind of like it. So the first one spider meaning and symbolism includes artistry, manifestation, patience, feminine power, ancient wisdom, illusion. Illusion resonates, doesn't it? Balance and interconnection. Although they are commonly associated with darkness and death, spiders can also represent new beginnings and life cycles. In many cultures, spiders are seen as protectors and symbols of good luck. So hang on.
Speaker 2:Wait, can we just have like ones? And it's like you know, if you see a lot of spiders, it means you have unpaid bills or something. Is it just like one direct reference? Because that's just like you could be potentially going through anything and everything.
Speaker 1:Well, because I've also been dreaming about them, but I think that's because I had the Funnel Web Spider investigation at the house as well.
Speaker 2:So did I, though too so important?
Speaker 1:yeah, Well, but we had a bit of a gap between.
Speaker 2:I know, but I'm wondering if there's like some sort of significant Well, have you dreamt about them?
Speaker 1:Because I've been dreaming of having nightmares about them, constantly feeling like they're crawling all over my body.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've like dreamt about like our landlord recently, who's like I'd associate with being like similar to a spider, creepy and crawly and A conch, do you? Yeah, you know like, but not directly.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Okay, well, if you've dreamt of them, spiders can symbolize creativity and bringing things into reality. Spiders are saying these huge signs of creativity and artistic expression in a lot of different cultures. If you dream about a spider, it may mean the subconscious mind wants you to use your creativity to make your dreams come true, all right. So I think also that they symbolize good luck, health and wisdom. Is that because it gives your heart like the biggest jumpstart of its life? Like when I tell you as well. So I promise SpiderGate will be over soon. It's going to be my new fixations, it's going to be spiders Totally. But over the weekend we had the Funnel Web Spider infestation which, like only it's in where is it? North Queensland.
Speaker 2:Funnel, queensland and the Foothills of the Day in New Orleans.
Speaker 1:So, slay, I've like not really dealt with spiders at all and over the weekend we had, so it was actually moving some Tessa's boyfriend is like an arachnophobic.
Speaker 2:I would actually say he's arachnophobic.
Speaker 1:He is so majority of his family have got arachnophobia, but Mick is like it's like an inability to be able to do it. So we were in the gym and I moved my oh my God, I'm not going to use the right term.
Speaker 2:Weight gloves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like weight gloves that you put on, yeah, I haven't used them in a while.
Speaker 2:Like driving gloves for lifting weights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, I mean, I haven't used them in quite a while, so much like there was a funnel web infestation, but I did one and, honestly, aragon crawled out of it and I was like well, that's like a super different looking spider and then there were three more in there.
Speaker 1:So then we got rid of them. And I don't like killing things at all, like I'm a catch and release girl, I'm very much, I'm a catch and release, but I draw the line at funnel webs. Well, yeah, you're very much pushed to get rid of them.
Speaker 2:Well, they're very dangerous.
Speaker 1:They're super dangerous.
Speaker 2:Dangerous to the dog.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then we came out.
Speaker 2:I'm sensing a minute silence or something is coming up. So I mean, Mick was like I had to.
Speaker 1:Like I made him stand there just to make sure that I could get them, but he was, like, honestly, looked so terrified. Mick went to his pants. He was. I really had him there as a whole stage. He was like don't move. But then I realised that he's really not going to be able to do the level of support that I need. Like I'm a bit wobbly on this. He's like In his worst nightmares. I was like right off you go, I'll deal with this. So the two and a half cans of 14 and yeah.
Speaker 2:Two and a half cans of 14.
Speaker 1:Two and a half cans, and that was the one I could get why it's like a few sprays would suffice.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding? They don't go down One of them. I genuinely used half a can on one and the only reason that it actually went in as it was like coming down. Sorry for any like vegans or like, and we're like for this. I know I hate myself as well, but I've got to protect my family, guys, I'm sorry. As it was falling down, it started like it was clinging to the web and then this other huge Aragorn's brother just came out, snipped him off the web and let him just drop to his death.
Speaker 2:The same guy that hitched a ride on your the back of your head.
Speaker 1:So anyway, spiders are like drawn to me at the moment. There you go, I'm glad that they're like let's see how this plays out. But yeah, the nervous system is at an absolute reach.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm glad you had such an exciting week to us.
Speaker 1:What Spider City, spider City. They're drawn to me. I want to say let's Google, you will carry on with your week, we'll get the. What was it? They have the business, the landlords. You touched on them too.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I've been fighting with that.
Speaker 2:Actually, I've been like CC'd in on an argument between, like, the landlords and the you know, the people that run the building or whatever, and I just said it's the fight between I just the landlord, the bodyguard were it, and the real estate.
Speaker 2:It's just like it's a pissing contest, but I just emailed last night houses for a power move. I emailed last night and CC'd everyone and just said I'd love to be removed from this thread because it's just a little bit dramatic for me and you can just update me on the need to know things, because I just couldn't do it anymore. It was like high school. It was absolutely ridiculous. But it's been a beautiful week at the Conscious Talent. It's been a great week and a hit as well. We've had lots of planning, a lot of things going on. I am a little bit concerned what am I going to say? Concerned, a little bit intimidated that's the word. The workload that I've committed to in the first quarter of this year it's been a big week for you. It's been a big week. We are going to be doing a renovation in our salon, so completely gutting it and renovating it, and we've given the builder a two week timeframe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he said to Nikki send me the plans and I'll give you a rough outline of how long it will take.
Speaker 2:And I said oh doll, you're acting like you've got to say how long it will take.
Speaker 1:It's going to be done in two weeks. It's just like how long for you, how long you've got.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that'll be good, all hands on deck. It also means that we have like two months to completely have everything planned, designed, material, sourced, like everything. Yeah, and that's you know a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've got the plus of I. Wouldn't say me, you don't have the plus of me.
Speaker 2:I'm just kind of there for vibes.
Speaker 1:But you do have the benefit of Hannah with being an interior designer qualified, might I add.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and her and I like the way that we're talking about it we actually have really similar views Beautiful idea.
Speaker 1:I've got no idea what's happening. No, you have a lot, though Her client came over to me and said I understand you're moving the basin. So I went right. Well, that's used to me. So where are they going? Jenny, I'm not too sure, but you know, that's kind of cool with me. I like kind of flying by the side of my pants.
Speaker 2:That's kind of your brand, though, right, 100%, you're going to see a show, you'll cut the ribbon, you'll be happy Welcome welcome.
Speaker 1:I will do a speech. Thank you everyone for helping me get this.
Speaker 2:I'd love to thank Hannah, Nikki and Jenny for designing this out.
Speaker 1:Really brought my dreams true. Thank you, so much.
Speaker 2:No, it'd be good. It'd be good.
Speaker 1:I don't need to be involved, I don't think too many kinks.
Speaker 2:No, but we just got a lot of things that we have coming up. So obviously at the start of the year we do all of that planning for the whole year why should we do it at the end of the year? But putting it into action, which is massive. We're changing a lot of things this year, and then we're doing this big Renault also got our Christmas party, which is kind of an extravaganza, and then we have our first retreat, the conscious business retreat, which is really exciting, the conscious retreat that's coming up in March, but just a lot of things all happening at once, which is feeling a little bit a little bit big for me at the moment. But I know that over the next two weeks, when we nut out a few different things, it'll feel a little bit less overwhelming. But that's how my week's been. So let's crack into it. Let's crack into our first segment Tess, what's it called?
Speaker 1:Hockey Hotline.
Speaker 2:So, for anyone new around here, we run the segment called Hockey Hotline. We put up a questions box on Instagram each week on stories and ask you for your troubles, your woes, anything in your business that is consuming you at the moment, and then we offer our advice around it. We are here to serve you guys. So today, tess, what is our listener question?
Speaker 1:All right Question is question board is actually just quickly. Question board will be popping up again weekly, so keep your eyes peeled.
Speaker 2:We had to pull it down because we had so many in the bank. Like we had literally hundreds to get through.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but we're ready for new ones and we are open to all questions. I mean I'll, what's your bra size? I anyway, I just had to thought I want to go and get refitted. But I thought about that the other day when I was putting my brow on. You actually had your bra fitted properly, didn't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was going to get refitted. I never have. I'm just guessing the bullies yeah.
Speaker 1:You've got to get the girls fitted properly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Absolutely.
Speaker 1:So let's all of us that haven't done that. Let's all commit to that and we'll go and do that together. 2024, the year of the right bra Anyway, that doesn't. That was a massive opportunity on my part. I mean not as far as what I've gone before Just a minute and 30.
Speaker 2:People do their episodes of, like, the highlights of the year or like a. Here you're a compilation of your favorite episodes.
Speaker 1:We're going to do a here's where it does Me and Minnie go and have a bra size.
Speaker 2:No, here's where it does the super shabby episodes.
Speaker 1:I mean, let's, we are. I want a compilation when have I ever gatecapped? I feel like there's so much of my thoughts that genuinely need to stay in it, but this is an inability to keep them there.
Speaker 2:This podcast is basically just an external journal.
Speaker 1:Definitely for me, like when you get into the business stuff, am I? Oh sorry, I thought this was therapy. Am I not in the right office, dr Nikki? Um, anyway, so yeah, anyway, 34, haven't ever gotten my bras fitted.
Speaker 2:So that's the question. Yes.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I'll probably send it and I won't forget. I was in trouble. Email producer lead to take this out, but I'll definitely forget. So, anyway, you're welcome everyone. Uh, question is all right. No, this is actually a really beautiful one and I actually want to acknowledge this person for sharing something that can be, I think, a realistic one for a lot of people, but not many people would say this out loud, so, oh God make me nervous, go on Okay, okay, great.
Speaker 1:So question is well, it's more of a statement. I guess I'm really wanting to step into leadership and being the leader. I know that I can be, but I'm completely frozen with fear. Oh, that's honest and like super relatable. I definitely relate to that. Is the team member, or a Salon and a Dino, I don't, I don't, I'm not too sure, but I'm assuming with stepping into leadership.
Speaker 2:it's either a person that's owned to Salon or I'm assuming, if it's like a team member stepping into leadership or if it's a business owner, but either way, actually it relates the same way. Yep, all right, what's your advice?
Speaker 1:Uh, first of all, I really acknowledge and understand this. I feel like I've been. Leadership's always come pretty easily to me. I guess School captain in primary school didn't finish the high school one, but definitely in primary school and naturally-.
Speaker 2:Me too, with being Ben Martyr.
Speaker 1:In grades. Really, You're a SRC.
Speaker 2:Grip? Yeah, I think, because they were like. I think everyone in the class has done it except for Nicola.
Speaker 1:Let's pop her into the no, I don't think so. They were like look at her with her folder that she walks around auditing everyone as they're working. Someone get this lady-alignured Anyway. So yeah, school captain of Lloyd Street Primary School in what was that? 2002? 2001? Yeah yeah, glory is.
Speaker 1:I'm about to put a count of 14 on you, mate. This is just-. So, yeah, leadership, I've definitely always it has come really naturally. Tess was always the start of a conga line, the nut bush I'm front and center, but the second. I will say I always found leadership really easy until it became my own business that I was leading and then I found it really scary. So I've had a really big evolution with leadership. When I first started with our first team member, I really wanted to be liked. I wanted to be like the cool boss and I feel like that's for a lot of people, whether it's going into management or owning a team or leading in a professional setting. I think you do kind of want to be liked. You want to be relatable. You want to be like yeah, it's like the cool mum, like you want to be different to the rest. That blew up, so that wasn't a great move for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we partied with her. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there will be people where that will really work and this is not what works for you. I'm not going to yuck your yum if it's working for you. Amazing. Didn't work for me, didn't work out the way that I thought it would, great lesson with that. I then had so many lessons and getting things right and wrong and making so many mistakes and so many things along the last 10 years that have truly transformed and changed me, I think, as a person. But I think the biggest thing that I can recommend, when you have the fear, don't let fear hold you back, because even if you make a mistake, we're human beings. Like we're not. We need to really get comfortable with making mistakes and not getting things right and fucking up and not having this perfect situation every time, because, realistically, if we're perfect and everything's just wonderful for the rest of our life, we don't learn anything.
Speaker 1:We don't grow, we don't develop. So for me, I embrace the fuck ups and I truly do. I will stand. I recently stood in front of our team and apologized for how I'd shown up last year as a leader. I did not do enough last year and that's a really.
Speaker 1:Not everyone would agree with doing that. Some people might see that as weak or giving team an opportunity to have something over me or whatever it is. Whatever reasons. If you're someone that thinks that that was a silly decision, I totally understand. But that was what I chose to do because I was like I'm really gonna own this and I'm not gonna make excuses and blame everyone else. I did not show up the way that I wanted to last year and it's become my driving force for how I'm gonna show up for my team this year.
Speaker 1:But fear can't be the thing that keeps us stuck, because if we live in fear and we sit there and kind of block ourselves from stepping into our ultimate power, our ultimate like really giving everything, like really just be like fuck it, I'm gonna go balls to the wall and really go for this. If we let that stop us from really stepping into that, your life will always sit at a mediocre level and for me, that's not enough. I wanna have an exceptional life with exceptional things, and that doesn't mean that every part of my life is exceptional. It doesn't mean that every part of my life is amazing. There's a lot of time when it's shit and hard and like especially learning the lessons. That's hard.
Speaker 1:It was not fun standing in front of my team last year and admitting that I had not done enough for them. That was and it was. I was emotional. I was crying. I felt like shit. However, saying that and acknowledging that that thing led to such an incredible finish to the, you know the teamwork that we have now and what we're creating for this year. It's setting us up for success.
Speaker 2:Well, I also think as well, like that, really, if you're truly embodying your values. One of our biggest values at a head is accountability and honesty and honesty. So really leaning into that and demonstrating that lets the team know that this is what we actually say, that we value, we practice that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100% Fear will keep you stuck. What was that thing that Becky used to always teach us with fear? What was that? I can remember it was like fear. It's like false evidence appearing real. That's what it is. I don't know if it came from Becca or she learned from someone else, but she taught it to us and it was something that always stood really strong and it's like a world learning thing.
Speaker 1:Fear is false evidence appearing real and it makes you believe that whatever it is is going to keep you, like you need to keep. You can't push forward into, step into what it is that you're going to do, because you'll fail at it or you'll fuck it up or whatever it is that's playing out for you. So my biggest piece of advice is don't let false evidence appearing real. Keep you where you are. If you want to be the leader that you already know that you can be, just go with it.
Speaker 1:And when you make mistakes, learn from them and own them and be like really grateful for those opportunities. Because one of the biggest things that we always say in our salon is when we make mistakes, if nothing else we get from it, what do we get, nikki, a lesson, a lesson, and life is all about lessons. So I think really push through, step in, have a go. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Speaker 2:It's really really important point there.
Speaker 2:Nothing to lose, everything to gain. I think if something's up beautifully, I want to give this person some Pahitees as well. So I think for me I've never been naturally a leader and I've never really been comfortable in leadership. If I'm being totally honest, I can do the problem solving thing with my eyes closed, but leadership has never come naturally to me. So I resonate a lot with this person and what I hear from their question is some anxiety and a lot of self-doubt. So I want to share what the most beneficial thing that I've ever done like a practical thing to overcome that.
Speaker 2:So something that I really learned with the last, like the most recent mentor that we invested in Georgie. Something I've really learned is how we speak is exactly how we things will play out, and such a big lesson that I've learned is my self-talk and how I actually speak to myself and how I actually dramatize or overwhelm myself in a lot of situations really comes down to the conversations that I have in my head. Stay with me here, guys. So basically, if I have a situation and I start to feel a little bit of doubt and then I start to almost talk myself into the fact that I should have felt doubt and I've done a terrible job, and what's this person thinking? And then I would almost create a whole story in my head and things like that would keep me stuck from moving forward into things that made me feel fearful or hesitant or a little bit of the unknown, I guess. So for me, the most practical thing that I could say to someone is be really, really, really aware of the conversations that you're having internally around self-doubt, around what you can or can't do, who you are or aren't, and any limiting beliefs that you have. And for me, I mean, I know everyone says you know, get a journal For me writing down and flipping my statement and my story of you know I'm not a good leader or I'm not naturally a leader into. I have the opportunity every single day to step into leadership. And this is the other thing. Every single person in your team, whether this person's an owner or a manager or a team member or an apprentice or a tea and tidy, whoever it is, they have the opportunity every single day to step into leadership.
Speaker 2:So, flipping that narrative around if that person's saying I'm so scared, flipping it around to I'm so excited, and I think a lot of the time I used to label this, as before I started with Georgie, I used to label this as like toxic positivity. I'd be like, oh my God, people, just toxic positivity. No one wants you to feel your feelings. But it's not that it's. It's literally, because in our heads we can literally convince ourselves of anything.
Speaker 2:So I know in my brain, I can convince myself that I'm incapable of doing anything and I can convince myself that I'm capable of doing the exact same thing, and I'm right either way. So, whether I know that I can or I think that I can't, I'm right either way. So that's probably the most valuable thing that I've ever learned is being really bloody aware of those conversations, how you're showing up, how you're talking to yourself and getting your own mindset in check, whatever that means to you. You know, investing in a container, going to a meditation class, doing breath work through YouTube videos, doing cold therapy, whatever it means to you to keep your own mindset good, but being really bloody aware of what you say to other people and what you say to yourself, to prove, or disprove, whether you're good at leadership, that would be my advice. That's great.
Speaker 1:And I think it really echoing that with what you were saying, nikki, about how we speak to ourselves. It's like literally speaking it into existence. So if you're telling yourself that you're shit, well I mean that's like yeah but it will. You're gonna feel like that, Yep.
Speaker 2:It is so true.
Speaker 1:This took me so many years to actually believe.
Speaker 2:I remember so many people in my personal development journey telling me you know how we talk to ourselves, matters and you know, flip that statement around and where are your limiting beliefs and let's turn them into a positive. And I used to just write what I think people wanted to hear and I really wanted to believe it. But when I actually understood the power of manifestation and the power of, like you know, the law of attraction really, now I understand it so differently and I'm like I have to be so bloody aware of how I talk to myself. Would I speak to my son the same way? Would I criticize this if he, you know, said something? Would I overthink this? Or would I tell him not to worry if he was concerned that he'd said the wrong thing, you know, four days ago? So it's just, it's such an important part of personal development and leadership and business ownership and running a team and all those things is to be so aware of how we talk, with the conversations within our head.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was so true and so beautiful. Like it is, it's so important. How we speak to ourselves is really like the starting point, cause if you are speaking to yourself badly, your inner critic is going to be running wild in there and, like that's the thing, you're never going to be having the confidence to step forward and into your ultimate you know potential, your ultimate life. Whatever it is that you're wanting to do with that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. But I think this leads nicely into talking about mindset, talking about the things that we really love to keep our mindset good. I know we've done a lot of episodes around mindset, around team around, mindset around finances, but mindset really is the start of personal development, and what we do at the conscious salon is we literally help people on their personal development journey. So, whether that's improving their business, you know, getting better team culture, sorting out their finances, sorting out their personal mindset and wellbeing, this is literally what we do. But mindset around everything is so important. So, tess, this has popped up a little bit for us recently Mindsets around different things that we're facing at the moment. I guess and obviously you guys already know what we went through towards the end of last year and how positive our mindset was and how positive the outcome was.
Speaker 2:But this week I've actually found myself feeling a little bit wobbly in the old mindset department. I really wanted to share this because I thought it's important. Obviously it's really important for us to show up authentically with you guys, but we also want you to. I don't ever want to be trying to put ourselves on a pedestal. What you guys go through in your businesses, we go through in our businesses every day and whatever you're experiencing, chances are we have experienced it or we're going to, or we are experiencing it. So we're all in this together and it doesn't matter what sort of business size you have or how long you've been in business, for everyone's going through the same shit. But my mindset went a little bit wobbly, I reckon, in the last 24 hours, really yeah, just with feeling Spiders. No, feeling just a little bit overwhelmed, making a lot of changes this year, feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the process and I started to feel myself having a little bit of that inner critic creeping in.
Speaker 1:What was she saying?
Speaker 2:Well, we talk a lot about inner critic, something that we learnt. I want to credit the person who we learnt it from, rachel Brayton, who has a podcast called the Yoga Girl Podcast beautiful podcast, highly recommend and she introduced this concept to us about what five, six years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not to ask personally to the community of the. I'd love to think it was just a little secret that she said we were having a wine with her.
Speaker 2:So she introduced this concept that was around the inner critic and the inner best friend, and we reference this a lot with our personal development. So the inner critic is obviously the person who has the self doubt, that voice in your head that tells you that you're not enough, tells you that everything's going to go pear shaped, whatever it is that is your limiting belief that plays out in continuous different ways. For me, a big one's been I'm not safe, I'm unsafe has been a really big thing that's played out in every aspect of my life. And then the inner best friend is the person who is your cheerleader. They're there to support you and have you trust that everything's going to be okay. And at different points in life you can have the inner critic talking louder than the inner best friend. And one big thing with self mastery and personal development is you learn to be able to turn them up and down on your own. That's really the goal. So for me, my Is it Nivana or Narnia? Nivana, it's Nivana.
Speaker 1:Narnia, we're going to leave the line of which in the wardrobe and we're going to keep them in Narnia and we are going to stay in Nivana.
Speaker 2:My mental.
Speaker 2:Nivana is being able to turn up my inner best friend and turn down my inner critic when I need to. That's like my ultimate with my personal development. So whenever I'm doing any personal development or any immersion or any retreat or container or whatever, my goal is always just to give myself more tools to be able to support me, turning up my inner best friend and turning down my inner critic, and I really had to lean into that. The last like 24 to 48 hours of just feeling, you know, self doubt can we do all the things that we've set out to do? I had a bit of fear around. Are we going to let our team down in both companies? Like, are we going to let teams down? Have we over promised things, as in you know, doing all this big reno and changing all these things? And we've got all these big plans for 2024 and some of the big plans, some of the big plans that we set out to achieve. You know we set out to achieve them in the next eight weeks and what I really realised this morning is we don't actually have to do them all in eight weeks.
Speaker 2:So, being able to adjust that time frame and we're going to talk you know, prachy T's on this in a second, but I have found myself being a little bit overwhelmed, a little bit like holy shit, have we committed to too much? What's this going to look like? I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Can we do this? Could we actually renovate in two weeks, you know? Is this feasible? Are we? Is this a good move for us? And I've started to as well, having conversations with different people and then putting their limiting beliefs on me and their opinions on me, and then me starting to go, oh shit, should we not do this? Is that true? Do I start to believe that now? So I've really had to dig into the tank of resilience in the last 48 hours, and I know this is news to you.
Speaker 1:You probably know if we haven't talked about this. No, I actually really appreciate this because I think there's going to be a lot of people that are going to resonate with this. But I think this really is the importance of sharing it, because you are, you know, I'm rubbish at. You know, having a poker face, half none, it's just the most obvious thing in the world. So I think the fact is, you can still compartmentalise and go about the day and sharing.
Speaker 2:this is a real you know 10 seconds of courage and really stepping in and, like you know, Well, I also want to say, guys, this and Tess and I talk about this all the time mental health and personal development you don't get to a destination. No, it never ends. It's like your fitness. You don't get to like see some abs and go okay, cool, I'm going to hang up the you know our costume.
Speaker 1:I'm like what do you guys do with?
Speaker 2:that. What did you guys do? The ab costume I was like I don't really know what it is. The active wear I'm going to hang up the active wear and the broccoli and I'll just have these abs forever. It's literally a muscle that you flex every single day. So it comes, as we said. The inner critic can go louder and softer, but I really want to talk about this because yesterday I really found my inner critic being like oh shit, are we capable of doing this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, she was really loud yesterday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and today, you know, I'm able to rationalise it. But I think even just sharing that tool the inner best friend and the inner critic with people is such a powerful thing to actually think of them like a dial and think of them going up and think of them going down. That's been really powerful for me. When I start to feel self doubt, you know and I even had I was telling someone about our renovation plan. I was really excited about it and immediately they started saying, oh, you don't need to do that, that's going to cost a lot of money. Why would you do that? Is it going to make a difference?
Speaker 2:There's nothing wrong with your space at the moment. All of these things, and I found I went from being really excited to suddenly feeling like, oh, is this person right? And which is funny because I'm not that easily influenced. But you put yourself in a position where you've got, you know, a bit of pressure on you and you can start to feel a little bit vulnerable and then external factors can sneak in. It's almost like your immune system.
Speaker 1:Well, it is it's weakened, and then there's all outside influences going like, oh, hang on.
Speaker 1:And then you know that's where the inner critic gets its power, because it can just start. There's little niggles and then the next minute it's taken full force and it's consuming you. And then you all of the things pop up, the doubt. And that's the thing. As you say, it's a muscle. It's going to have to work really hard at learning how to mute the voice or, you know, turn it down a bit, dial it back. We always like referencing the louder and the softer of it, but I think exactly what you said, that's all it can take in having those conversations. Yeah, Out loud. Let me ask why, if I can, is there a reason that you kept it away from me?
Speaker 2:No, I did share with you last night about that person, like you know that feeling a little bit influenced by that person and then we were able to talk it out, which I really appreciated.
Speaker 2:But when I was doing my journaling this morning, I realized, oh, there's a couple of things that are popping up for me, that are giving me a little bit of self-doubt. You know, it's been a while since we renovated. It's been a while since we renovated in a time frame, like in this capacity and just being like, oh shit, it's a big responsibility Absolutely, you know, giving team time off and making sure that we're going to have a salon ready for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, raisin. It asked us often that there can be a reason if we're like it's either not wanting to voice it or not want or like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we're not wanting to acknowledge it. Yeah, like even, because if you say it out loud it makes it a little bit real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, again putting it into existence, it's out there. It's said. Now, how do you feel we're sharing it, since you've let that out of your body right now? Oh, with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean just like when we do a fart. I feel really it's, I just think it's so normal, like.
Speaker 2:I always think when we're doing this potty, what would I love to listen to, what would be helpful to me? You know, back in the day, when I didn't have People around me in business, what would I have really loved to have heard? And I really love Feeling like I can relate to people. Yeah, so if someone can hear this and feel like they can relate, I Want you to understand that it you really don't get to a certain destination and go, yeah, cool, this is all good, I'm a, I've mastered it. No, it's totally, and it takes work and every single day, every single day, I have to work through mindset issues, and yesterday it started to Started to creep in and overwhelm me a little bit, and then today I was able to get on top of it. But I just thought it was really important to share, because it you never get to a destination. No, you know, is that bleak?
Speaker 1:It's never gonna be fixed. I Do really want to thank you and acknowledge how like brave it is to share that and like that's not it sounds. You know I'm not saying that lightly. I think it's really big to get on admit when you're not feeling a hundred percent or like you've got a bit of a Shaky mindset and it's a big thing to say out loud. So like, truly well done on that.
Speaker 2:Thank you, mate.
Speaker 1:Secondly to that, I always have this memory of when we're working with our first mentor. Mm-hmm and she was pitching to us about, you know, the next year, what she had planned and we'd already kind of been like now, like we're not interested in you know, the big spider jumped out of the table.
Speaker 2:That do actually happen.
Speaker 1:It's just crisis, something with spiders. Honestly, guys, imagine if like something really exciting.
Speaker 2:So imagine if that's like if anyone knows what the like significance is For a spider's, can you please do?
Speaker 1:you must, because we'd love to know absolutely, um, but anyway I'm not going back into spider To get you're just picking to when she was pitching to us, but that is really, oh my gosh, maybe something really cool about having she. I remember her saying to us like so are you ready to like Level up and like have the best, like I don't know 2017 that you've ever had? And we were like no. Then she asked the question so are you not wanting to improve and work?
Speaker 2:So you don't want to grow, is what she said.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I said no, I actually want to take a pause and kind of stay where I am at the moment because we'd had such big. That was very intensive and. Development and working on selves. And and we did, we did take a pause. But, you know, of course, made our way back over, which is what you know, and that's okay too If you're in a bit of a year like a year off personal development.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then you know straight back in. But I think this is Something that's really important as well, because sometimes you might just want to sit and and be still for a while, and that's okay, hmm, but again it keeps jumping back up. Kick starting back up, because once you start pulling at the thread, it's you can't kind of answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it started and it's like you know, sustainability you can't unsee the damage. Yeah, so with personal development, you can't.
Speaker 1:once you know that there's this other world called put personal development land, you're like I can't stop growing, I've got to have to get keep going got to keep evolving, even though it's uncomfortable, and it's dealing with emotions and traumas and sadness and all of the things, but that's where all the healing is too, and I think you know, don't? We all want to unleash all of our demons and feel better and Get to do the farts and feel the relief.
Speaker 1:Get to. You know, I always think about you. Know, my, whenever I'm in something that's hard or challenging and I'm really like, oh god, this is like really consuming me, I Always think about that whole thing. We say all the time you know, I'm gonna learn something from this, this is gonna pass, it's not gonna be the rest of my life and I want to have the deathbed moment of when I am at the end of my time. I want to look back and think, yep, I've really had a good I did all the parts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, I wouldn't have that on my tombstone at all. You probably good, but definitely not definitely. I want to look back and feel like I really Gave life a good. I grabbed it with both hands and really tried to take it for myself.
Speaker 2:Okay, great. Yes, we end every episode in gratitude. What do you grateful for? I'm?
Speaker 1:so grateful you shared that because I think that that's a really big thing to share and you Will really resonate with so many people was sharing that and I think it is also really Because you're you're so strong and so capable and so together and, and you know, also having these moments of uncertainty, but I think it really humanizes you and I think that so many people will resonate with you and Really feel seen by you. So thank you for putting that out there, for speaking that out loud and sharing that, because you know we very easily could have just Carried on with the farts and bra size Got me. What was it in a bra size bra?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So thank you. I'm truly, really grateful that you shared that and said that out loud. It really does. It means a world to me and I know it means a lot to a lot of people.
Speaker 2:Thank you, may appreciate you. I'm really grateful for the conversation that I had yesterday that put a bit of down in my mind, because not only has it made me realize exactly what I want, it also has made me realize how far we've both come and how much we're able to flip our mindset and quieten down that inner critic, but also I'm about to prove that person really wrong and Nothing fires me up. Hmm, like proving someone wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we love eventual Gwaine and also would be the first time for this particular person.
Speaker 2:Come and ask you very good. Anyway, thank you so much for listening everyone. It's been a beautiful episode. Stay conscious.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I love you guys, Stay conch.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much for listening to this episode and hanging out with us today to hear more about our journey. Follow us on Instagram at the underscore conscious underscore salon. If you're a shit-speller, check the spelling of conscious or at ahead hair underscore. Thank you so much for joining us today and we'll see you in the next episode.